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Hiccough Has Silent Period Professor Gets Gripe* "Nobody Listens To My Speeche Or Appreciated Them", Says Professor "I am indulging in a great period c silence in order to think," declared Di G. A. Hiccough, head of the depart nient of English. "I think entirely too many specche arc being made by professors of th University. After all, as Dr. Mors said, we aren't getting paid for then so why bother? I do not intend t make another speech before the G.A.F until I receive expressions of apprecia tion for all I have already made. And muttering, "I am a mystic," Di Hiccough began liis long silence. Th veteran, professor will address hi classes henceforth solely by means c gestures. "They don't listen to me any way," he had earlier explained, "so don't see any necessity for my contin uing to waste all that energy. If popu lar demand for a lecture becomes to loud I'll borrow one of Dr. Blabcock' records." Mrs. Hiccough, it is rumored, ha waited for this occasion for man1 years. "Here's my opportunity," sh said. "I'm going to make the most c it. But you'll see, Gargle will get tire in a few days, unless- he passed on from strangulation when he firs breaks into speech." v. 8. c. FormerEditor Belabors Beet Horsely Trying To Get Politico Experience So That He May Run State 'I hat the legalization. of beer i South Carolina is being prevented b a former editor of The Gamccock w? the startling*discovery made by Th Horsedoctor's lobbyist in the Stat Capital. This nefarious personage i none other than Ashley Horselcy, foi mcr editor of this rag. It was learned that Horscley did nc want his name made public becaus it might possibly be deleterious to hi popularity to have his name connecte with a policy that would have so man enemies. He was working quietly an unobtrusively, and his sole purpose w? to obtain political experience so th; he would be able to do the same goo to his state as lie did to his Universit (when he graduated). Just what this would be was n< definitely learned, but it is thought i authoritative sources that he is thin! ing of exercising the same power i the State someday as he once did o the University campus. Cantey Jailed Under Prison l'ederal officers raided the campu yesterday and took away with thei Marshal Cantey on a charge of viola! ng the federal Mann act. Cante denied the charge. Suspicion centered on Cantey, th officers said, when it was observed ths in his nightly round he spent entirel too much time around the women building. A key to the back door c the building was found on his perso and held as evidence. It was charged that he lured unsuj poet ing co-eds into his office by pron 'ses to secure room changes for thei which they had requested. His con patriots then carried the innocent an virtuous damsels to the independei state of Charleston where they wci Unwillingly exhibited in the local batl i"g beauty contests. Implicated with Cantey were Bill etniore and Billy Woods, who, it wj cJ*argcd, carried out the abduction ( 1 e girls. Officers have also sent oi J Iers *? Charleston officials to sei? 'onias Inatabit, promoter of tl: )athing beauty contests, who is said t >e COn'iected with the group. . u. ?. o. Thomas Score In Tatooed Lach Miss Ellie Thomas of Columbia, wl graduated from the University la ?unc, has recently gone to New Yoi V- s',e is appearing in a numb ? the night clubs in a special dan< number of her own entitled "The T tooed Ivady." Miss Thomas is attracting wide s fntjon ant^ a special club composed ,rc< ^U8iness men has been organizi ? see that the little girl gets prop treatment. 1 i ? New He i1 ^. ; 5 S X\^^l e Vv"^tjP|j| \? hhM|&E r. I < E? e H S '...<, :. i Jfi I K^l e House occupied by the new group foi 'f fraternity. d ;[ Lesesne Causes Traffic Jumble , Brilliant Raiment Called Ruse To Divert Attention From Beer Runners C "Cosmopolitan flamboyance of dress, *' causing a tenacious and widespread * ^ traffic jam," was the charge lodged P against Charles Lesesne, suave ladies n man of tenement 15, yesterday in po- 4 n lice court by the chief of police Raw- ? y linson. y ts It was claimed that Lesesne walked 0 e down Main Street attired in colorful e and dazzling garh, the ensemble of ii is which included a tic from Tahiti, suit 1 *- from Siam, hat from Havana, handker- b chief from Holland and sox from Sing- t >t apore. c |c In the traffic deluge that followed his " 1S wake were noticeable a large number d of co-eds, many from Benedict, as well y as others. Chief Rawlinson expressed d the opinion that the whole affair was is deliberate and malicious 011 Lesesne's *t part and that he had planned the traffic d jam as a ruse to aid beer runners who y were passing 011 the South side of town. >t \r. 8. c. " Donkey Meat Is Palatable Dish A meeting of the student body has been called for next Tuesday night to protest the recent reduction in the allowance of donkey meat served in the mess hall. The action was taken after the announcement of Jock Even, head waiter of the hall, that only one slice is will be served every two weeks. The II allowance in the past has been a slice t- every week with a serving of white y meat once every month. The meeting was called 011 petition ic of Joe Hallway, Gene McNutt, and it Kcnath Prince. They claim in their y petition that if the proposed action is 's carried out it will he "highly detri)f mental to the physical and spiritual n wellheing of the entire student body." Miller Simpson, president of the 5" student body, said that he is thoroughly in accord with the purpose of the mcctn ing and sent out a call to his followers 1_ to attend the meeting imbued with the ^ slogan, "We want more meat." Boid Hughes announced yesterday "C that he would start serving eggs for 1_ breakfast in the near future. "Students can have them any way they want ^ them, boiled, scrambled, deviled, over{s light, hard, soft, or medium," he said. )f v. a. o r :c Miss Thomas gained her opportunity lc to go to New York when she pcr0 formed her act at a small private party in Columbia recently. Several New York promoters who were traveling through Columbia 011 their return to New York after a winter spent in j Athens, Georgia, saw the exhibition ' and were immediately stuck by her personality. While at the University she was president of the Y. W. C. A. and was a prominent member of the Tomato Players. ce J ir. B. c. a" Something ought to be done to suppress continued stories in the magazines on the it- center table in a doctor's o. .ce. of . . ed The rest of the world ought to take a er lesson from China and Japan. They had no trouble getting together. >?#se Of Sorority-Fra med from the local chapters of the ' Dazebook Wai Scholars. George A. Cannon, Jr., editor of the olumbia Dazebook, has announced lat the Columbia Phonograph Record, lie organ in which the Dazebook is ublished will award a prize of not nore than 50 cents and not less than 9 cents for a list of seven famous South Carolinians who started life as ournalists, scholars, or former prisoners. The questions submitted in the past, t seems, have been so easy that only ugh school students have deigned 'Other with them. It is believed that he inclusion of such an unusual list >f distinguished Southerners will so They're Milder and yet ? !9i) tiGcitrr to Mycrs Tobacco G I IS U O O T O R ternity % rri-Dclta sorority and the Kappa Sc its List Of And Prisoners enhancc the appeal of the Phonograp Record that augmented advertisin space will more than pay for the priz So large a prize will no doubt L conducive to a large number of appl cants. Indeed, a professor of psycho ogy declared there will be many wli will attempt to persuade their frienc to fullfill the requirements, and the leave the prize to their progeny. NOTE: Since the reporter wli wrote the story has already found tl persons asked for, no one need appl IT. 8. C. Next to the buds budding and the bin singing there is no truer harbinger c Spring than the redbugs biting. H SfiOlBw I Bl "he; I Vice Squad Ca Students Jack Fishborne And Albert Finch Machine Guns Used i University Rec: . riring on two loads of a machine gun as they charged into Pinckney College, long known among the students of the university as the Red Light District, by reason of the large lamp of that hue burning in front, Dr. W. E. Hoy and Dean Trireme Hclliot, joint-heads of the Vice-Squad, seriously injured Jack Fishborne and Albert Finchcr. The co-eds who were with them escaped through the back window. "We had always suspected," Dr. Hoy explained, "that Fishborne and Fincher were up to something of this sort, but we never had the goods on Local Police Ir Fire At Con The local police are investigating the recent fire at the Conard house and Chief Rawlinson has hinted that arrests will be made at an early date. Criminal negligence by several of the girls in the house will probably be charged. Rawlinson refused to elaborate his _ statement but special officer Frank Hubbard, who is conducting the investigation, gave further information. Because of the hour in the morning at which the fire occurred he has dismissed-as impossible the original supposition that the fire was caused by g the ardor of several University men c students who had not yet left the premises. ?e Woman Trouble Z Causes Rumpus "Woman Trouble" was the cause assigned to the recent rumpus between 1C Thomas Causey, midget Don Wahn, y and Xat Burton, aspirant to the pedestal vacated by Clarence Darrow. Is In spite of ferocious assaults by both )f parties, little damage resulted to cither, | inasmuch as a table was conveniently 111m want, c take w I It's lil a strong don't w You W2 know th you don Chestc and yet ' stcrf tne> cigarette ciaarefle. /Aa/ tas1 ^ m".,' i Page Free ptures ? Red Handed ier Nabbed By Hoy And Helliot; [)n Raid On Popular reation Center thcni before. If wc could only catch those girls," lie mused. Then he pulled together and sighed, "well, after all, you can't expect everything." Other inhabitants of Pinckney College were deeply grieved about the transgressions of their brethren. The general opinion was that the two evildoers had fallen from grace because tliey had stooped to Carolina co-eds, instead of following the crowd to Columbia College. 1 his raid was the first of a scries which Dr. Hoy and Dean Helliot are planning. It is announced that the next will be pulled off in several weeks. ivestigate lard Residence Hubbard believes that the fire occurred by spontaneous combustion when Evelyn EgglehofT, Edith Woodruff, and Joan Conard got up to take their usual setting lip exercises. He claims that he has several clues picked up on the premises and is making rapid progress in the investigation. He said he is on the job night and day. When asked what the clues were he blushed and refused to answer. When notified of Hubbards charges the three girls implicated immediately issued a statement that Hubbard was prejudiced as he had never stayed in a girls' dormitory. between them. A pitcher of water was overturned and sadly messed up Causey's pajamas which he had carelessly thrown upon the table. Both parties vigorously denied that they had any intention of settling matters on the field of honor, Causey asserting that where he came from they used blackjacks. XI. K. C. Imitation may be the sincercst kind of flattery, but Uncle Sain fails to look upon counterfeiting that way. Y<ou get what you indyou don't have to hat you don't want te this: You don't want 5, rank cigarette; you ant one that's tasteless. int one that lets you at you are smoking, but 't want one that's bitey. ^rfields arc milder . . . They Satisfy. I ie Id 1 MILDER rES BETTER ; |