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?'V- ' Bradley Leads Nudist Group (CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE) want to see her, I expect to get better results. ROBERT L. MERIWETHER: Pshaw, and I was just planning to get my pants pressed. JOSIAH MORSE: In the words of dear old Socratcs, Ain't nature grand. JAMES N. FRIERSON: I intend to give up my work in the law school immediately. It is too confining. I hope to get a job on the gardeners staff. EMMETT KILPATR1CK: If nudism at Carolina equals that of Russia, I shall be satisfied. MAURICE MATTESON: I am planning to vary my music and glee club with a little nature dancing. I have a reputation for being a de-vine spring dancer. ISADORE SCHAYER: I think that I will retire. HAVILAH BABCOCK: Ho-lnim, I think I will open a clothing store. \V. E. ROWE: I told them to do that a hellova long time ago. ROCK SMITH: Field trips will be oftener and longer. Boys will be excused. i Critic Cooks Silliest Show (CONTINUED FROM PACE ONE) Ija donkey dat kept braying behind dc Icenes, but I suppose dat was just a mistake. I In dc last act Eddie went south and Hen he went west. It didn't make a lot o* sense t' me, but hit must abeen mighty sad. De gal wit' me cricd. I pried, an' dcy say at de last show when Here wasn't but a dozen people derc, [Willy Dean cried also. U. 8. C. Soluble Dean Holds That Dean Is Right (CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE) "Oh, Mr. Dean, Oh, Mr. Dean, Your productions are the worst I've ever seen; First you slew 'As Husbands Go,' Then exhumed old 'Edgar Poc,' May the saints forgive you, Willie? But they cannot, Mr. Dean!" "It's things like that that give me the strength to carry on," muttered the old maestro as lie heaved a sigh. Lillie Flinn Hall Tosses Hat In Ring (CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE) The would-be sovereign already wore the crown, now all she needed was the support of "Cotton" Culbertson and the opinion of those present p?s/ Never before such nificence, such i|| Royal Family of the Theatre in RASPUTIN with RALPH MORGAN DIANA WYNYARD TAD ALEXANDER FOUR DAYS STARTING WEDNESDAY ilfldgaaallli Yankees Wrong Smith Claims (CONTINUED FROM PAOE ONE) Bishop James Cannon some day. Bui they didn't. So they splashed and spouted near the tree. "Then the creature spoke. He harangued. He gestickled those virginal whales with both hands and both feet, or vice versa. He shamed them about being wet. Even water, he said, is wet, and all things wet arc wrong. "So the whales, each about 400 feet long, headed for the dry sands of the beach in their embarrassment. They swam about :$00 miles per hour, not being as Scotch as Sir Malcolm Campbell about speed. "They hit the beach and they wallowed. Each wiggle dug a deeper dent in the sands. Then the tide went out, and, rather ashamed of its wetness after listening to Bishop Cannon's ancestor, it forgot to come back. "Two hundred and fifty centuries elapsed, beer came, and beer went to come again. Meanwhile nothing remained of the whales but the depressions they wallowed in Horry and Darlington counties. "Those damvankee geologists say they found the iron of meteors in the depressions. They're all wet," Rock snorted scornfully. "The only irony about those depressions made by the dry whales is that they shelter the busiest stills in the state." Whereupon all the little girl geology students bought tickets for Horry county to study the depressions at first hand. 13. H. c. seemed to be that a lady with Miss Hall's charm and erudition should have i ?R? HjH ILLUSION: aides to ah* up, he pla< After a she the screen, girl, coven from the"e EXPLANA1 The girl v There is a with a hole The flower a regular p wears a ri flowers coi tunic down \ \H Burning T At Bot BY MRS. MURCHISON'J I ? After a rather hilarious party the . other night one of our eminent pro. fessors found himself completely sozi zled. Two of his students also found i him. They made a trifling request of ( the doddering date lover and he granted it with no hesitation whatsoever. : They merely asked for his autograph. ' On the morrow what was his consternation to discover that he had signed a little paper which declared that he guaranteed to give both the students A's on their history course! Now the students are waiting to discover if his : word is as good as his Bonn! It is rumored that next year Dean ; Elliot will convert the Woman's Building into a refuge for the local chapter of Alpha Delta Pi since the annex to ; the girls dormitory which she has set i aside for their exclusive use during the past few years is now too small to house both the girls and their dates. Mrs. Elliot feels that such a show of favoritism to her own sorority will in 110 way bring herself in for a volley of criticism, since the Carolina girls' PanHellenic has gotten used to that sort no difficulty in securing the aid of a gentleman with Mr. Culbertson's propensities. In fact, as the crowd dispersed there was heard the cry, "Let Lillic lead us! Bring back beer! Down with Communism!" 1'. N. t\ Azure Skies? Azure Here? Azure Nuts? Alas?'Tis Spring?I'm drunk. ?Faith Brewer ian exhibits a flower pot with hinged sides in the center of the stage. He opens out the ow that this container is empty. Closing it ces a screen between it and the audience. '!lPeriod o{ ma8'C incantations he removes The astounded audience sees a beautiful ed to the shoulders in lovely flowers, rising mpty" container. Where did she come from ? ION: vas hiding behind the drape of the table. trap door in the bottom of the flower pot, large enough to allow her tocrawl through, s, called magicians''feather flowers," are >art of a magician's outfit. The flower girl inner tunic and a bathing cap to keep the npressed into small space. She slides the 1 and the flowers expand when she emerges. '* 163J. R J. ^TDOklS Tob^11> i * i2i 4 .J 1 ?? he Scandal :h Ends 3 LITTLE BOY HUGHIE of thing after all these years. II Mrs. Murchison's little boy Hughie is thoroughly in sympathy with the group of arid matrons who marched to the State House in protest against the passage of the beer bill. The ratification of such a piece o? legislation would harm immeasurably one of the most potent factors in our present day civilization. It would throw out of work those millions who are now contented and happy, those countless ones whose livelihood is obtained through the manufacture and sale of r. g. corn and hen-house rye. These people, their wives and their children would be thrown upon society, without food, shelter or clothing all because you and I wanted a cool drink of beer. Is it worth it? No wonder the ardent drys chanted, "The Lord of Hosts is with us." Thingamabobs: Johnnie Hart drinking water....I always have difficulty in keeping Sara Mills and Mills Steele straight, as who wouldn't?.*... Maurice Mattcson always reminds me of a large white cat which has the stomach ache. A rambling rose A wandering Jew Brother Miller's Dynamic home brew Come home?come home Ah ! I sigh, contented ; "Tis gone, gone, gone. Nelson Fortson World premiere? Bronx Cheer. ?Lillic Ilall | g jt's j'(77v tc ...it's afou A trick frequently workec advertising is the illusion t in a cigarette comes fron processes of manufacture. EXPLANATION: All po rettes today are made in r tary factories with up-to-< Iery. All are heat treatedintensively than others, h inferior tobaccos require Green Peas?Sweet Peas . Swaying boughs Kail Birds, Jail Birds > May mows?hoose gows Ah, me, 'tis life, 'tis life Aw nuts I Sarah Mills MAT?15c NITE?80c j| MONDAY?TUESDAY "Luxury Liner" Th? Grand Hotel on the Hloh S?ai? WITH Geo. Brent?Zita Johann Frank Morgan?Alice White . Vivienne Osborne ? WEDNESDAY SALLY EILERS 4 BEN LYON GINGER ROGERS IN "Hat Check Girl" ? THURSDAY?FRIDAY BERT WHEELER ROBERT WOOLSEY Edna May Oliver?Roscoe Ates Edgar Kennedy IN "Hold 'Em Jail" ? SATURDAY LANE CHANDLER IN "Wyoming Whirlwind" Alto Chapter No. 3 Of "CLANCY of the MOUNTED" WITH TOM TYLER t ??-faOZi IE jFUJV TO 1 in cigarette sive treatment hat mildness baccos. i mysterious The real diffe baccos that are pular ciga- tobacco, the mil< nodern sanilate machin- 'WSBF* ,f '* ? -some more tobaco >ecause raw, are made more inten- EXPENSIVE to! J, popular bran 11 arette ever mad< It's the secret [ quet"... their cc irritating mil dm |H ciate the greatei || tion of the mor pZrcrsr i IN A MATC 1 'Two / 1 Three Four Ah! 'Tis ten 'Tis ten?I'm nuts. Faith Brewer ARE YOU THIRSTY For Laughs? Then Sec What BUSTER And "SCHNOZZLE" Have Brewed For Your Delight I BUSTER ; KEATON ! JIMMY . DURANTE In The National Question Set To Laughter "WHAT! . NO BEER? MONDAY?TUESDAY?WEDNESDAY ' -( OVER THE TOP .... .and HELL BREAKS LOOSE! 44 THE / 11 BIG- DRIVE" Official Govermerft World War Films Withheld Until Now! .. All The Nations! Every Fighting Front! In Actual Trench Fighting Scenes. THURSDAY?FRIDAY-SATURDAY z> : j than choice, ripe to* rence comes in the toused. The better the ier it is. m act, well known by leaf ? experts, that Camels from^ finer, MORS baccos than any other r- I mels are so mild. That >ave given more pleas* pie than any other cigof Camels' rich "bou>ol flavor... their non? v ?ss. te a chance to apprer pleasure and satisfac* e expensive tobaccos. BRICKS || COSTLIER }| ICC OS jf HIKS8 BLEND 18