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| The Lamecock Published every April 1 at Snowden, S. C. by the Republican Campaign Committee and entered at the back door of The Lamecock office as poor-class matter April 1, 1932. "Burn Columbia" Sherman Publisher p}:; Yates Snowden Editor 9k K . = WE STAND FOR: Lower tariff walls that will allow a little sunshine. More Rickets for Chicago and more rackets for sophomores. Less number of statesmen and more workers. Abolition of Southern Pride. Abolition of States Rights. Allow Negroes on All Juries. 1 YESTERDAY APRIL 1, 1392 Stay Off The Sidewalks "Why in the IIcll can't the students walk on the grass sometimes," I declared Mr. Tinman yesterday, and that's just what The Lamecock l| wants to know. Just why in the devil don't they? This year has seen hundreds of dollars of perfectly good brick 9 sidewalks laid on the campus, yet what are the students doing to show their appreciation of them? THEY WALK ON THEM !! With j all the space around the sidewalks, with all the inviting grass around to park one's hoofs on, with all the short-cuts that could be made almost pleading to be stepped upon, every dumb freshman, sophomore, I junior, and senior, and the other two members of the student body I proceed to step all over what was once clean, neat-appearing bricks. Be sensible, Carolina ladies and gentlemen. It pays to pretend I some time. Would you walk on the sidewalks in your own home? NO! You I would go outside before you did such a trick! Think of the cost to the University each year that could be elimiI nated if only the thinking students would swing the remaining 99 I 44/100% of the student body into their gutter of thought. By walkI ing in the grass there would be eliminated the necessity of having HH men paid as high as $10 per week to mow the lawns. There would not I be ever-present the need to pay that fine, though snooty, white-collar official, Mr. Tinman, who earns his honorarium each montli by knocking students off the sidewalks. Rlio Alpha Pi Beta has done much to place these sidewalks on the campus for beautification of this grand old backyard of the Capitol grounds. Many wooden nickels have gone into slot machines manipulated by these grand old martyrs of Rho Alpha Pi Beta as they earned funds to finance this sidewalk project. And did they have fun? The Lamecock'11 say, especially after Uncle John G. Richards heard about it. "Once a Citadel Man, Always a Citadel Man"?but can't the courts change the stigma? Maybe it's true after all that the "Blue Stocking" of P. C. has holes in it. U. 8. O. What graduate student remembers the time when the Furman Hornet loosed its stinging barb? Faculty Would Inveigle Studes Students who are conscientious and do not want to fall into the wayward life have no business attending the Faculty "Bowery Ball" to be given at Ridgewood. The revered white-haired gentlemen-padagogues have invited the fib student body to attend, but have they told a soul what they are going to have for refreshments? NO! And why won't they tell you? It's only too obvious. What these professors plan to do is to get the studes stewed, and then coerce them into confessing that they have not been studying. One professor stated only recently that he doesn't "believe some of my students study." That same man voted in favor of the ball ItDraw your own conclusions, fellow-dupes. i'". Should The Faculty Receive Better Wages? ? With an appropriation of a million dollars and an endowment of two million dollars annually from the Barney Early memorial fund, the University should adopt a less frugal policy where it's professors are concerned. This is pointed out in a trenchant address by Senator Book from Whoopee County recently before a joint session of the two houses: 44 and, gentleman of the General Assembly, until every single member of the faculty of the University of South Carolina is knocking down a salary of $5,000 or more annually, we need not expect tfliat institution to turn out more than a hundred Shakespeares and Calhouns a year." Mr. University Treasurer, The Lamecock does not wish to become embroiled in a controversy with you or any other member of the faculty that is sometimes thought to tye honest, but The Lamecock does feel that you have 110 right to spend the State's money buying a soft drink every week. And, by the way, how did you pay for that cigar the other day? And those second-hand socks? The faculty is reticent about making any move to have its salary scale'raised. But The Lamecock will champion the cause of these martyrs who silently endure the pangs of hunger forced upon them by a measly salary of $4,000 per year. As a matter of fact, The Lamecock would upon sufficient provocation, champion the cause of any member of the faculty, if only one member of that August body would speak in favor of it. The University treasurer is a kind old gentleman, but The Lamecock dares say that a check for $1,000 would not be honored at that office if any hard-working student were to present it for cash. Why ? If the treasury of the University of South Carolina is bare, then the legislature should pass a law making such a condition punishable as being guilty of "indecent exposure." If the treasury is not bare, then it is high time that every hardworking member of the faculty, and the great majority of them, should be paid better salaries. If our revered treasurer wishes to be sure that the money is going for a good purpose, then why not install punch-clocks for the professors ami puncli-bowls for the students. Both would be satisfied; that is, if the pedagogue did not try to mingle in the class activities of the students. Do You Know Your Ur, $ * DePenny College, familiarly known as the "Stink Pot of the Cam] versity fifteen years ago. Clothes-pins are distributed to all visitor! students are required to furnish their own means of preventing inhal calcium nauseatium. The building is named after Dr, Gimme DePennj "The Woman's In" night club, just below the "Stink Pot of the C well-dressed gentleman of the campus. Seventy-flve love nests are 1 is this number used at one time. Strangers are required to remove tl door. Only members of the faculty, including Jot Norwood, are all* mmmmmasm ni'ii'i" mm'vsb Watch Out I Dean Bankhead wisely warned t lamation yesterday to watch out f< season gets underway. Quoting: "Every Carolina man and worn* 4 of Chapter V of the Freshman ] hold itself responsible for any atta< beasts infest the campus, as hard eliminate them, and it is up to the laws of Nature and self-sustenanc attack, and thus far the legislature law." Students, it is up to you if yoi these campus pests?not the dean, George is ready to come forth anc of every inmate at the University o'clock in the morning until daybrt duced a St. George, need you expec is certain that the four-footed anin student into the nearest accessible ] within an ace of getting scalped. Where is there a St. George? 1 Carolina, but there's a Chamber o Where is there a St. George on Right tliish way, suh. tr. a, Some think that "C. C." refers t< 17. S University studes voted dry in would have been the status quo ol ???it. a "A Clemson Man Needs No Inti gates some way or other. u. s What the University needs most activity should be allowed student and Wofford Institute will soon s existence. They have teams; wh Carolina? U. H, No woman is ever a gentleman.liversity? saasEsam^i pus", top was erected at the Uni? that call at the ibuilding, whileJ lation of the fumes of sulphur and r> who died mentally five years ago. Jampus", is frequented by the unocated in the structure, but seldom heir hats before entering the front owed to enter the back door. 'or Squirrels! he student body in an official prooor squirrels from now on as spring in is expected to know from Vene Bible that the University does not :ks on students by squirrels. These as the administration attempts to individual to protect himself. The e causes the squirrel to make the ' m i has not attempted to revoke such ' J? i would forever rid yourselves of '?? but the squirrels. Until some St. I combat to the death the enemies y'.-l , no ed or co-ed is safe after four ;ak. If Congaree Corn has not proit Nature to do that thing? Yet, it lals continue to chase student after building, such unfortunates coming STes, it's true there's one in South f Commerce there. V the campus? 4 ,c. ) the "CC" pills of childhood days, ^jj ?. * fvs ' V Vj l the recent campus poll. "What : the same voters Saturday nightt ,c._ roduction"?He'll crash the social -1. ,o. ,v. is a football squad. At least one ;s. Otherwise, Erskine University mother this institution's hopes of iy can't the University of South I o. ?James B. Cabell Open Forum I Editor, The Lamecock: It is not my intention to gripe about the outcome of any election which has been honestly conducted, but I do fee} that I was cheated out of the "most popular ed" election last week. When it was rumored that I was to enter the race for this distinction, both of my friends rallied to my side and promised me their full support. I believe I won that support unsolicited (which is more than I can say for my opposition), yet I received only two votes in the race. I regret to confess it, but I voted for myself. That means I should have received at least three votes. But did I? You know as well as I what I received. I think Mr. Pluto Wimberly might be an honest man; some have intimated as much. I do not envy him in his election, but I do think I should be given justice. What'd you do? Signed, Horace McGce. U. 8. O. . Editor, The Lamecock: I wish to say right here that I think it is high time that some authorities ;.jj did something about so much poker playing that goes on nightly under my very nose. I can't 9leep for the racket my frat brothers make and when I go away from the Phi Beta ,i| Delta house to the campus to spend the night with some friends of mine, I find the same thing to contend with. I have told Dean Bradley about all this, but instead of doing anything about it he puts me off by saying that this is much better than prohibiting poker playing in the rooms. He 8aid they would go to Flinn Hall or Melton Hall and play anyway. Why doesn't the student body arise in opposition to it? The Lamecock or some other reputable organization will do a great piece of work by running this poker-playing habit off the campus. Maybe if this was done some boys wuold not have to wear the same old pair of trousers aroufid here. I And by the way, the Phi Beta Delts told me to tell you to put a notice in The Lamecock that every- v body is invited to come down and v play poker at any time. Signed, Louli Rosen.