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I * SO' J.:^ I The poor little Chi Omegas seem to be getting left out in everything else this year, so the Yellow Sheet, . having one of the sisters on the staff, just could not overlook them. This is our vulgar editor, Miss "Bully" .. Quattlebaum. This picture was brought to the office by another sister, Lorraine Gale. Thanks, Lorraine. MISS BOW GETS BID TO DANCE FRAT GIVES BALL Special Arrangements Made To Keep Auburn-Haired Actress From Getting Stuck Plans are now complete for the Easter Ball to be given by the German Club of the University 011 Friday the 10th of April, from 7:30 until 10:30, in the University gymnasium. According to the plan several new and attractive features will be introduced. Of great interest will be attendance at the ball by Miss Clara Bow, famous movie actress, whose consent to be present was secured after more than a year of trying which began with a phone call from Elliot College. In order to allow everyone to have a chance to dance with Miss Bow the usual custom of being introduced to a stranger will be done away with so that it will be "grab it and dance" in her case. Miss Bow is to have the honor of going to the ball and leading the grand march with the president of the German Club, Jim Fowles. As a special supplement to Miss Row's presence, liquid refreshments in the form of ice water will be served for reasons that those who dance with GOOD PRINTING When You Want It, As You Want It. ! Pro grains, Menus, Booklets, J Newspapers, Magazines, Annuals THE STATE CO. ?PRINTERS? J^Eeet a real .. Whether or not Guy Ix>mbardo already is one of your major cul* tural enthusiasms?meet his latest disc achievement. Gloriously it lives up to the sparkling mark Guy lias set for all recorded stepper music. Both sides holding fresh, new melody hits. And both are executed with a delightful snappiness that's tinctured with smart restraint of the indigo tendencies. A beautiful coupling 1 Get a hearing at your Columbia dealer's to-day... Record No. 2401-1 By toe River Sainte Marie Running Between the Rain-Drops Other Ne Record No. 2402-1 I Want You For Myseu ( It's a Lonesome Oi.d Town (When You're Not Around) Record No. 2398-1 Love Is Like That (What Can You Do?). You're the One I Care Fob Columbia ^ ^ *? l| 'III CIET" Frats Par tic Daily Dru The unbelievable has happened. All the fraternities on the campus actually brought their news for the week to "The Gamecock'' office so anxious were they to get the following important events in this issue. Phi Kappa Sigma and Phi Sigma Kappa fraternities have given tip in despair and decided to amalgamate. No one but the members could evei remember which was which. Delta Eta Sigma and Sigma Alpha F.psilon entertained their friends at a tea, given 011 Melton Field, last Monday afternoon. The affair was very successful, until the hosts and hostesses, who felt it necessary to drink to the health of each departing guest, became slightly hungry and started gnawing 011 the wire fence. Damages to the extent of five thousand bucks will have to be paid for the bleachers. Freddy Knoblauch and Jennings Moore spent last Tuesday night at their home in the county jail. They were given a free ride by Chief Stricklin, whose fatherly instinct was aroused when he saw the dear little boys engaging in a game of tennis with weekold eggs and squashed tomatoes. The A. T. O.'s have decided to move into a new house in New Brookland. According to President Verner, though the new location is hather far from the University, it is much more convenient for dates. "This is obviously an improvement," he says, "because we ATO's prefer to sleep 011 a date than to sleep in class anyway." The Pignia Nus and the Y. W. Cabinet arc having a midnight feast tonight at the Pigma Nu house at the corner of Taylor and Hardin streets. This little party is being held to welcome in the New Year and to prove that two such riotous organizations can have a peaceful social "gathering 011 April fool. President Geor&e King of Pigma Nu is the toastmaster for the Miss Bow will be able to determine. There will be a thirty-minute intermission for those who cannot dance, since it has been suggested that those who do not dance can "intermission." i Buy Yellow Cab Ticket Books SAVE 20% 1 Passenger, 20c ;j 2 Passengers, 10c each When in Need of Taxi Service, ] 'Phone 8101 YELLOW CAB CO. SWELL GUY . . . )?10-inch?75c I Fox Trots ... Guy Lombardo and His Royal Canadians id ilit* )?10-incli?75c Fox Trots . . . Ted Wallacc and His Campus Boys ?-10-inch?75c | VocaU ; i ; Ruth Etting ^ Records u * * A ; . . 4 ' (L V NE1 " ipate In J nken Revelsl occasion and it is hoped that his toasts will not be burnt as much as the refreshments usually served on Y. W. picnics. I Delta Delta Delta suing Kappa Alpha for divorce. The grounds are that since the boys have started playing poker all night they arc incapable of supporting the Tri-Delts. The case will be tried before the court of common glees (Maruice Mattison, Chief Justice) next Tuesday. The children J are to be allowed to choose between the two parents. Buck McNally, Jr., has shown preference for his father, the gold dust twins, Jack Crosland and John Everette, also seem to favor the Kappa Alphas. However, Andy Jamison, Henry Willard, Bill Coan, and I Louie Benjamin show marked preference for the Tri-Delts. ' Most of the little girls seem to pre- I fer their mother, too. As Blanche DuBosc says, "There are so many nice fraternities 1 And only one Tri-Delta. But mama, I did love the K. A.'s, can't I still have dates with them sometimes?" Sigma Phi Epsilon wishes to announce that the local chapter 110 longer exists. All the members have agreed J that since all their money and respect I is gone after the Bowery Ball, the I chapter cannot possibly exist as a I unit and that the charter should be J returned immediately. All of the boys arc very happy to get out of this mess so lightly and are now open to bids I from other fraternities. The Sigma Chi's had a very un-1 fortunate thing to happen to their house last week. They were having a grand party with some of the Chi Omegas celebrating their first night in the new house, which they named J the "Sigma Chi Omega," when the party waxed so hot that the house became ignited and burned completely up and down. It is understood that I W'M he rebuilt immediately. I Prof. Smith Adds Triplets To Home Appropriate Names For Babes Suggested By Friends To Help Fanhily The news that Professor Geology I Rock Smith is the proud father of a I healthy troupe of triplets comes as a great surprise to Professor Smith and his countless friends and victims at I the University. Professor Smith is a man of many talents aside from his J decided gift for geology and lie should be highly commended for this, his latest extra-curricular accomplishment. The three future geology professors I have been given names after much de- I liberation. The one with the loudest voice is to have the honor of being J called Rock, Jr. The other two are to I be called Boulder and Pebble in I memory of Doctor Smith's favorite study. (* The neighbors, when interviewed by I The Gamecock, insisted that all the triplets should have been named Rock, Jr., as even at so early an age as three minutes they all had voices as raucous and manly as their father's. u. s. c. Ruth Ritchie took a bath last Saturday I night. Miss Richie contributes this un-1 customary event to a visit recently paidl to her "Sanitary Home," see Richie's I Primer on Health and Sanitation. j let Us Haadle Your Laundry you save the canteen profits Pick Up 12:00 o'clock Eld. D.y Return 4:00 o'clock Following Day JI special prices for special service ; SEE W. W. LEWIS. Campus Agent Columbia Laundry TELEPHONE 4954 WS 1 And this is Mike Wind-us of Carolina, by far the University's best-looking man. Jack Scholenberger, voted such by the students, is rumored to have bribed him to stay out of the race. We agree with Jack in that the money was well spent. Wind-us is prominent in all forms of parlor athletics. TRp DELTA BIDS DARK MEMBERS SISTERS JOIN HANDS New Chapter Installed at Allen University?Local Members Perform In a most colorful ccrcmony of a very repressive nature, Delta Delta Delta, national organization for the promulgation of vice, installed a chapter at Benedict University, the cultural center of Columbia. "We'uns is alvays wanted a chapter at dis joint," bubbled Miss Helizabeth Wingwheel as she flung her arms about one of her new sisters under the holy crescent. All three hundred members of the Chapter at the University of Soused Carolina were present in a body to greet the new members into their order, the glee club bus being hired for the occasion. The ceremony was in the hands of I.,izzy Belser, Yesse Coldman, Helen Bellfry, and Maybe Goodvon, who carried out the ritual with only a few hundred mistakes. Each candidate was required to repeat the name of the sorority three times and then to say it backwards three times. After this it was announced that they were all members of Tri Delta. Next each new member was branded with the mystic emblem of DDD, with the sacred blow-torch. The committee on branding was made up of Sarah Haywood, I^ucy Coldtomen, Catherine Hasbill, and Alice Praylow. The closing part of the ceremony was when five piquant little sprites came tripping in disguise as wicked co-heads. They were Cathrhen Otis, Blank Debose, Lusilly Mikcll, Willie Hale and Cooper Dickson. All were dressed in costumes made solely of red cheese cloth, and cach one carried three-pronged pitchforks, symbolizing the trident degree (usually about 250 degrees F.) A post initiation lecture was given by Mrs. Nancy Phillips Scott, recent winner of the celluloid cuspidor given by Shults United for the funniest looking girl in the freshman class, on "What Delta Delta Delta should mean to its members." She talked aimlessly for an hour or more and was at last dragged from the platform by the infuriated mob. A response was made by Miss Miranda Johnson, janitorcss at the Masonic Hotel and part time coed at Allen University. Her subject was "What Ah Expects Deltah Dcltah Deltah tuh Mean Tub Myself." The meeting was announced adjourned when all joined hands and sung "God Save the King." COLLEGE BARBER SHOP [ Rear College Shop I Haircuts 35tf Shave 20tf Three First-Class Barbers Diamonds ? Watches Jewelry ? Silverware Established over 45 Years P. H. LACHICOTTE & CO., Inc. Jeweler* 1424 Main Colombia, S. C. Watch and Jewelry Repairs i ggggaggsBsafe COCKTAIL PARTY OF J. M. MORSE DECLARED A HIT < Dr. J. M. Morse entertained last Thursday evening at the University library with a delightful cocktail party in honor of the faculty and several leading students of the University. Once during the festivities a great commotion was heard at one end of the hall. When the merrymakers investigated they discovered Professor Erik Achorn and Wee Willie Dean fighting over the custody of a statue of Venus which Dean Rowe had brought to the party for his own especial use but which he had discarded when a better opportunity was offered him. Professor Achorn had one arm firmly entwined around the statue's neck but he had been interrupted by Willie who had a peculiar gleam in his eyes. Professor Achorn still clutched the statue and made I passes at the eminent dramaturgist with a gingeralc bottle. Professor Dean pounded upon Achorn's mustache with the heel of a silver evening slipper which he clutched in his right hand. After these two had been pacified the party went on as merrily as before. I have never in my life enjoyed anything so much," exclaimed Professor Keith as he stumbled down the library steps at dawn, "I think these little cultural gatherings should be made a weekly custom." u. s. c. BAND CONTORTS STOMACHS INTO TWISTED KNOTS (Continued from page one) political bandwagon and today he is quite nutty over any form of music. They all smile when Paul Rich sits down to play the piano, but after he plays a few notes a whisper of disgust runs around the hall. Paul denies with righteous indignation the story circulated that he was thrown out of correspondence school for violating the honor principle. Hunter Wood and Tony Young, two big noises in the rear of the orchestra, admit that it's certainly a hard life trying to play a trumpet that is full of mush. The trumpet corps remind us of a dying heifer yelling in a thunder storin. The old drum has lived a valiant life. Whether Piute calls for harmony or discord, Ward Remington sees that the old bullhide makes some kind of noise which, in most cases, is more harmonious than the squeaking violin which the great director plays when digestion is particularly difficult. The saxophonists, Wimberly, Tisdale, and Warren, are the straws that break the camel's back. A thousand cats in Stygian darkness could not make the racket that these three boys create. Rudy Vallee, who is the mascot of the Stomach-achers, would blush if he heard these musicians in some of their nightly broadcasts. If you can imagine two dishpans, three COLUMBIA OFFICE SUPPLY CO. "EVERY OFFICE NEED" Office Furniture, Filing Cabinets, Safes \ Printing and Rubber Stamps j 1112 Lady Street 'Phone 5163 II SHOR1 I! I 30 D. Written with ABC'S a ?Simple, rapid, accurat better. Used and endorse H est paid secretaries in A terms; positions secured i in typewriting, bookkeepi ! | tarial subjects. Call or Write for F Dickinson Seci Branches in P: 2-3-4 Kinard Buildi PHONE 22611 ? ?" OfiC i'lYC SYLVAN HAND TO 1 AID MRS. GRAHAM Allan Lanibright Opposes His Appointment Because of Jealousy Announcement was recently made by Mrs. Grace Graham that she has enlisted the services of Sylvan Hand as assistant in the Woman's Building. 1 his came as quite a delightful surprise to many in the dormitory, while several others winkingly shook their heads, as if to say, "My suspicions have b^en confirmed." I have felt the need of a strong masterful influence over the girls for some time, and it was this need that prompted me to go to the legislature and plead for an appropriation for such a purpose," Mrs. Graham stated. Allen Lambright, "the gentleman from Spartanburg County," led the opposition to the bill providing for such appropriation. It is believed that personal jealousy caused this representative to fight the measure. u. s. c. Thirty Men Furiously Storm Coed Domicile Jenkins Forcibly Carried to Woman's Building?Maude Brazelle Involved Hog-tied and swung between a group of thirty students, Ellison C. (Percival) Jenkins, outstanding sophomore of Yonges Island, charged blushingly upon the Women's Building last night. Jenkins' thirty staunch friends bad agreed to carry him to the coed domicile when he explained that he lost all control in the presence of the bossing sex. "Why, fellows, when I get near all those good-looking wimmin, I can no more control my sex appeal than they can. That's one thing I have in common with every pretty coed," the blond Yonges Island exile admitted. Jenkins has been accused by Maude Brazzellc of alienating her affection for her pet cat. This lady refused to substantiate this rumor when questioned, but she did permit a lover's light to come into her eyes as she asked if anyone had seen "my Ellison." u. s. c. Fred Killingsworth, the lonesome lover, was seen courting the other day. Dame Rumor whispers that she's a frosh indulging in chemistry. Free coaching, eh, Freddy? cats and two dogs, two rusty razor blades, and a window pane, all clashing together, you have a picture of the rollicking Plue Wimberly and his Mess Hall Stomach-achers. ! Meet Mc at CAROLINA SWEETS We Serve Regular Dinner (All Day) 30 Cents | Breakfast, 20 Cents WE SERVE SUPPER HAND I AYS I nd familiar characters e. Serves all purposes (1 by many of the high- ; merica. Low cost, easy . Individual instruction ng, filing and all secrc- j ree Demonstration etarial School I rincipal Cities ng?1521 Main St. S COLUMBIA, S. C. I