University of South Carolina Libraries
STADI smilCh goes nuts when shawl of co-ed dancer falls off Manager Of Folk Dancers Goes Crazy When Co-Eds Have Secret Practice DLARNEY SMILCH, prominent ping-pong player of the University and manager of the co-ed folk dancing team, is reported to be in a state of raving insanity following a secret practice that the folk dancers went through Friday afternoon in the gymnasium. No official report has been disclosed concerning the reason for Mr. Smilch's sudden stroke of insanity, but it is generally believed on the campus that he went into a faint when one of the girls' shawls fell off during the practice for the Dance of the Water Nymphs. FIGURES SECRET The girls were undergoing secret practice in preparation for the folk dancing match with the Clcmson Lollypops next Friday, Clemson has been scouting around to learn some of their signals, but Manager Smilch devised the scheme of secret practice and Carolina's figures are still a mystery to Clemson. The personnel of the Carolina folk dancing team has not yet been definitely announced because some of the girls lost their uniforms and have been cut off the team by Manager Smilch until they can get sufficient wraps for practice. Most prominent among the candidates for the co-ed folk dancing aggregation are; Julie Beall, "Pinky" Zimmerman, Essie Grant, Nell Gaskin, Nat Heyward, "Cutie" Hicks, and numerous other coeds. Julie Beall, captain of the team, has shown more form than a Miami bathing beauty, and Zeigfield has already sent scouts down to look over her figure. TRAINS HARD "Miss Beall has been training too rigorously," said Manager Smilch yesterday, "I even found her climbing the Maxcy monument Sunday night and posing on top of it for two hours." "When I took her down from the monument I heard her muttering, 'I'll die for dear old Carolina if we can only lick the Clemson Lollypops.' " U.fl.C. A LITTLE BIRD TOLD US Weed Smith, unknown tennis coach of Carolina, ras unfortunately just finished a book on the game, entitled '"How to Play Tennis on Ice." "Weedy" always uses a Capone racket and recommends it to the gang. Jack Ouch and "Click" Faster, single courtmen, succedcd in getting a backhand stroke over the net last week when it fell to the ground while they were playing. Harry Hingson likes Mellin's Food and attributes his success on the gridiron to the spoonful he cats befote each game. Dr. Ralph K. Foster, as usual, has issued his annual statement that Carolina has rejected football games with Nebraska, Notre Dame, Tulane, Stanford, Pittsburg, Army and Yale because dates offered conflice with games already arranged with Newberry, Erskine, Pcwanee, Siwash, Presbyterian, and also with a practice game pending with the combined teams of Allen, Clemson, and Benedict. "'Flying Gnat" Heyward, ferocious face-crushing pugilist of Carolina, has challenged Prime Camera, 220 pound Ambling Alp from Italy, to a oneround, no decision match. Tho winner will fight "Kangaroo" Johnny McKnight for the all-wait championship of the world. McKnight is a favorite to win because of his long experience of waiting on the bench. Oscar Allen has announced his retirement from tennis. He will devote his entire time to a home study memory course. Oscar has a habit of putting the balls in his pocket, forgetting to return the serve. IUM S _ | CAROLINA'S This is how the new the Alumni associati for the 1930 season, lower left. WARDL Sport Squawks BY SLOPPY SLATTS jQ READPUL, inhuman tidings have just reached this department. Rumor has it that Kenneth Thrash, the brutal slave-driver of Carolina's football coaching staff, has been offered the position of head coach of the Clemson Powder Puffs following the unexpected withdrawal of Josh Cody, who became infuriated when authorities put him to instructing the cowmilking classes in addition to his coaching duties. Thrash is feared everywhere for his uncontrollable wrath. He frequently resorts to horse-whipping the boys on the field when they fail to send one another to the hospital in daily practices. This tyrant of the gridiron has been quite successful at Carolina, however, because the hulking brutes who are out for the team laugh in the face of his horse whip and go on and play their natural style, but we fear he will upset everything at Clemson, including the milk-buckets. Mercy! Mercy! THE timid little farmer lads who arc toiling away in the classrooms of Clemson to fit themselves for careers behind the plough and who are going out for football only to learn something about pigskin would be helpless in the unmerciful hands of a Kenneth Thrash. It must be prevented. Is there no justice or mercy? Certainly the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to ANIMALS should take a hand if Thrash goes through with the plan and moves his horse-whips and lashes up to the agricultural institution. The Carolina boys have suffered no more than broken necks and smashed skulls under the wiry, hard-boiled mentor, but if lie goes to Clemson we can but wait in terror for the first sorrowful funerals this fall. ? Poor Little Johnny DEAR Mr. Slatts: Please, oh please, throw your whole typewriter into the fight against Kenneth Thrash's going to Clemson. Oh, I shudder to think what will happen to my poor little Johnny if that inhuman brute becomes coach at Clemson. Little Johnny will probably come home with a bucket over his head and a sponge down his throat for he is water boy on the Clemson football team next fall. A horrified dad. iTE ir i NEW ALUM> stadium will look win on are completed and The swimming pool AW CH \ ? Scene during Clemson-Sawcowsaw ^ game, when Tiger sports writers go into huddle to decide how many lines v make a sideline. Ripplemeyer, H. A., t can be seen at lower left. " d MURCHISON WILL * COACH NECKERS } Co-Ed Wrestlers Hold First Work- 8 out After Strenuous Tryouts For Coach The University of South Carolina co-ed wrestling team, under the direction of Hughie Murchison, held their first real necking practice yesterday afternoon in the University gymnasium. The girls are rather late in starting due to the fact that a try-out had to be held among the members of the faculty to select a suitable head coach for the co-ed wrestlers, Hughie Murchison winning by a handsome margin. Lilly Baval first tryed out for the position but his wife appeared in the gym just as he was being put through the most strenuous tests, that of handling six co-eds at one time, and he finished his preliminaries on the way home. He went away cursing, "Darn, I'll never get such an opportunity again." George Heyman Wittkowsky made a strong bid for the coaching job when he held six co-eds under his power for three hours by his masterful technique, but just when he was about to be declared winner the dapper young professor gave up and went tiome to finish reading a poem by Edgar Guest. Yates Snowden was completely baffled in his tryout. Something seemed to bother the hearty history professor and he appeared rather sluggish and ineffective. Later the cause was discovered. Yates has a particular abhorrence for math, and figures were bothering him tremendously in his wrestle with the pretty co-eds. When everything looked dark and it seemed that no man on the faculty could master the six co-eds long enough to qualify for the coaching, Hughie Murchison cast his hat into the tryouts. He declared that he had no experience in the wrestling game, but the manner in which he held those athletes of the fair sex under control (Continued on Page 9) .. i. 'i r J i i 1 mi. ,.i, I SWi Nil STADIUM I' I] I O li o C P v ii en plans adopted by a the plant is opened " can be seen on the * t( li LMPIONw PROFESSOR NEW " KING OF MARBLES E e 'arolina Man Wins As President Hoover Looks On, Admiring Skill I p Pat Wardlaw, grizzled veteran of 11 he marble ring, who has been biding n is time in the Education department " f the University of South Carolina, u as at last come into his own by wining the world marble championship C eld on the lawn in front of the White louse last week. ci President Hoover was looking on ^ yhen Pat shot the winning agate and d he chief executive screamed in glee, b Oh, such a cute little fellow, but why loes he wear that mask?" f< Pat overheard the remark, and dig- a [ing his toes in the ground from em- o arrassment said, "It's not a mask, tl Ar. Hoover. When my great-grand- v ither came over from Scotland he for- f; ;ot to bring his razor." C Pat Wardlaw has many friends at o (Continued on Page 9) Perfect Scor? Sports O: for Golfers and G< Good-looking 1 Of smoked elk with tan calf trim. Plenty of room in the toes . ? and made with a rugged surfaced special sports sole and heel of rubber. Outstandingly popular, too, for general wear with sports togs! J.C.PENI II I > *1 Ok MPS ______ ALUMNI FROWN ON STADIUM DRIVE, BUT DONATE PASTURE ma Gink Leads Heated Fight < Against Stadium Move For University RECONSIDERING their move to erect a stadium for the use f the University of South Carona, five thousand active members f the alumni association met at -olumbia Saturday night and assed a resolution by unanimous ote that the plan of their buildlg a stadium for Carolina was bsolutely a farce, and that the rhole scheme was ridiculous. "Why do they need a stadium," [touted Alumnus Ima Gink of Echo follow, South Carolina in his characsristic raucous tones that sounded ke a fog horn, but swayed the gullible raduates like a ninety mile gale. The p>eaker paused a moment while the lultitude of alumni each took another' hew of tobacco and then he blustered n. "Yah, why do they need a stadium rhen we fellows way back in ninetyix stood up for all the games? Why an't they do without a grandstand dien Echo Hollow plays Epworth ,eague baseball every year and hasn't ven a bench for the players?" PASS OUT The crowd passed out with ecstatic cclamations of these remarks and it ras then that the resolution was assed pertaining to thumbing down le stadium drive. However, the alumi sensed a feeling of harshness in leir resolution ana some loyal gradate jumped up and offered a large act of swamp lands three miles from olumbia for the football games. * The offer was accepted by the Assoiation and the tract will be offered the rniversity when it can be sufficiently rained and as soon as the cows can e moved to another pasture. "The University is indeed grateful Dr the land donated by the Alumni ssociation," said Dr. Ralph K. Foster' n learning of the grant, ''It will solve he stadium question, all right, and it m11 give us standing room for 300,000 ins, the largest stadium site in South' Carolina. We can also use the water n the land to a good advantage. We ave long needed a swimming pool." IT.S.O. 'ith All Men I xfords allery-GolfersI . M'98 ! x ? d 1 sfEYc-a !