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Morsels s= J My waste-basket is running over, and my desk is piled high with heartrending letters from lovesick swains asking me the secret of my power over the, female of the species. For instance. "Dear Morsels: "I have tried listerine, danderine, unguentine, vaseline, and oleomargarine, learned to speak French and play the piano, taken courses in Katined Kulture and dynamic speaking, and done everything I cm to arouse the untold latent powers lying dormant within me, but the girls don't fall for me a tall. I rehearse what I am going to say for hours and hours, and they laugh in my face. I have finally arrived at the conclusion that my 'it' is undeveloped. Won't you tell me how to develop it? "Forlorn One." ANSWER: Dear Forlorn One: You have the same trouble that troubles nine men out of every ten, and as there is one born every minute you can see how much trouble there is in the world. You have plenty of "it." The reason you can't win the maiden of your heart's desire is that your methods arc wrong. If you lay your heart at a girl's feet she will step on it, and telling her you love her with all your heart and mind and soul won't make her love you. The four walls and ceiling of my office are completely covered with letters and photographs of former sweethearts. The secret of my success lies in my method of attack. This is all there is to it: First attract her attention with romantic love stuff, then arouse her interest by playing the indifferent suitor, and finally, cap the climax with the strong, silent caveman act. Then ask her to marry you, and she'll say, "most assuredly." Yours sincerely, Morsels. If you have any soul problems, secret sorrows, or affaires de coeur which need straightening out, just take your pen in hand and spill inky tears 011 Morsels' shoulder. There, little girl, don't cry. u.s.o. Sigma Phi Epsilon (Continued From Page 1) of S. P. E. brings its number of active chapters to 62. Joseph Hiott, James Harvey, Lloyd Hiott, Wilmot Jacobs, "Red" Adams, William Garrison, Forest Keels, Sylvan Hand, George Meetze, M. D. Whiteside, Henry Peinkie, Waldie Bushaw and Nigel League were initiated as active members. Alumni also taken in included: Dr. Louis Taylor, of the Good Shepherd Episcopal Church; Dr. Eugene Powell, pathologist of the Baptist Hospital; Edward Ircy, connected with the South Carolina branch of General Motors, and Maurice Mattcson, Director of Music at the University. OLD GRADS GATHER FOR ANNUAL AFFAIR (Continued from Page 1) that stadium, I have a check ready for $1,000." This brought loud applause from the banqueters, and indicated the enthusiasm on the stadium issue. Barney A. Earley, executive secretary of the association, talked briefly conccrning the lack of members in the Alumni Association, and charged those present to return to their communities with the intention of persuading other alumni of the University to join. He said that several hundred new members to the association, probably increasing their number to 1,000 instead of the present enrollment of 450, would make their work clearer and would relieve the present condition of only a few controlling it as a private enterprise. Mayor Thomas B. Stoney, next speaker, paid a tribute to the work of Mr. Earley, and, in his bombastic style colored with his Charlcstonian accents, uttered a few well-taken remarks. "The University should attempt to sell the idea of a college education to the high school students of the State," he said, "not only by means of show ing theni how to side-step an opponent out 011 the gridiron, but also by giving them something that will help them to side-step the bill collectors after they have finished their college education." J. Rion McKissick, dean of the School of Journalism of the University, spoke briefly of the work that is being done by the Alumni Association, lie also praised the diligence of Mr. Earley in his work. Julius Mclnness of Raleigh, N. C., expressed the desire to sec South Carolina advertise herself as North Carolina has, saying "North Carolina is the most self-advertised school in the world." Senator Jeffries of Walterboro, spoke concerning the lack of interest among the alumni of the appropria- 1 tions made to the University by the Mate. William L. Glover, Orangeburg banker, became toastmaster when President Timmerman left the luncheon to escort Governor Richards to , the football game. ' Av the close of the meeting and 1 luncheon a picture of the group of alumni, approximately 100, was taken \ ?"n t stcPs ?f ^e gymnasium. It will be used in the Garnet and Black, , University Annual. 1 Then the men were ushered to a 1 section of the stands at the North , Carohna-South Carolina game, where , they sadly looked on at the Game- . cocks succumb to an overpowering ! fiSt" S?r"\ I Heelia. It was the ( t defeat that the homecoming alumni have witnessed in the three ' years that such contests have been ' played. : There were approximately 1,500 ! alumni in the stands, other than the ASr belo,ng,n? to the association. After the game and its chilling and . disheartening effects had partly sub- ! sided, when the former South Carol','1* C?i1!egl1an1s YCre in a bettcr mood, J ?h?\? * d th,e evening concert of , he Marine Band and later a dance at ! the Ridgewood Country Club. , U.S. o. . Drunk (bumping into lamp post): Excuse me, (bumping into hydrant): bxcusc me, little boy," (bumping I into second lamp post and falling down), "Well, rn just sit here until the crowd passes." Frances Ponder?I simply hate i gym. J ' Miss Gilbert?You shouldn't hate . Jim, nes the only boy around here. CAROLINA Why don't more of you take c ship? We trained the World's fi on request. BOWEN-CONNATSER B1 L Corner Sumter and Lady ... on t .in 3 "Hi frill: and A one the i "1 ? 1929, Lioorrr A Mnn Tobacco Cq . FACULTY HANDS OUT DECISION co I~ (Continued From Page 1) ations, and that they agree further to spread this constitution 011 the ninutes of each society and to deliver 1 copy to the dean of the University or permanent custody." For your information I quote the ollowing cxcerpt from the report of )ur committee: This committee will not undertake 0 pass upon the questions of constiutional law raised oy the petitioners ind by the respondents. The fact that the system of rotation has been in operation for several years is in itself strong presumptive evidence of the adoption of the Constitution of 1925, yet the absence of the usual formal ecord of its ratification in the minutes 3f the societies is sufficient to create reasonable doubt as to its validity. If the committee should attempt to find ind sift all the facts concerning this :ontroversy and to plod patiently through all the multitudinous anfractuosities and labyrinthine circumplications of the constitutional points raised its labors might be but half begun when the present Carolinian editor's term is done." Yours sincerely, J. Rion McKissick, Chairman, Faculty Committee on Student Publications. U.B.O. Manager?I advise you to let the villain shoot himself instead of taking poison. Author of New Play?Really? Why do you suggest that? It'll wake the audience up. STUDENTS >ur special course in Pennmanrst Prize Winner. Information USINESS UNIVERSITY Streets, Telephone 6810 he floor^ fj /'! &%/ n * Iffy \?1 I m?di 1 irr"^$3*^ cigarette it T THE NAIL 011 the head",..cut o s, give smokers the one thing they w sales "will take care of themselves, t least, that's the Chesterfield platform thing smokers want is good taste?and one thing we're interested in giving th ASTE above everythir, ,hest< FINE TURKISH and DOMESTIC i We arc continually pursued by un- ft mquered waves. sug ^U'LL GET A >* by BAm ebov WJM H< give Record No. 1980-D Sophomore Prom (from Metro-Goldwyn"So This Is College") Reaching For Someone And Not Find Anyone There Record No. 1983-D My Lover (Master of My Heart) (from IV! Production "Paris") I Wonder What Is Really On His Mir tion Picture Production "Paris" Record No. 1979-E I Dont Want Your Kisses (If I Can't 1 Love) from Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer's College") Until The End (from Metro-Goldwyn-M This Is College") Columbia Vjva - tonal Recording ~ The R* it's "|"l> ' ^ASTE . The that's 3rfiel< tobaccos, not only BLENDED but CRO * f JUJLl r lany people are like granulated ;ar: refined but easily dissolved. FEELING FOR HIS ONE . . ' Ukulele Ike's newest record t?a corking good pair of numcrooned by an ace performer, plaintively sentiment?.! song that s a kick in every sob is backed peppy dance-provoker from a e?and both put over in stop-their style by Cliff Edwards. car it today at your dealer's, and these others an audition, too. I 10 in., 75c Mayer's } Vocals ING [ Ukulele Ike (Cliff / Edwards) 1 10 in., 75c lotion Picture) / Vocals .... JD (from Mo-1 Irene Bordoni > 10 in., 75c Have Your \ x-. , T>. , So This Is ) Fre<1 Rlch Fox Trot \ and layer's "So j His Orchestra . Waltz ' | Not?" EssRecordLs ecords without Scratch V\E / ) 1ILD ... and yet THEY SATISFY j SS-BLENDED i