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BE KIND TO Al FNAI3GUR~4rE1 l Uuulrr Pet Po o e -001ated in ha pel",y4Paou1ty Member PUPPY SNARLS LOUDLY Flit and Squirt to-be Exterminated Rohees Feies be gob With scalding and saline tears roar ing down his rosy cheeks, "Big Dick," Iniagurating "Be' Kihd to Animals" week, kissed "Tinre,f' tle poo?lp pet and idol. of. the campus, and shouted before hundrdi of .stuz4ntp in chapel: "For you, 'flmnie-fcIr you and your kind I'd even talk faster," and with. another iresounding %smack Dick placed Tigsnie o .a _table and felt on his kneps -be,ore him. Timmip,. unac customed to attention (beg pardon, Mrs. Terencel), snarled so ferociously fiaifDiok felf('rostrate' Wtht fright oti the 'stage from which he got up with a pair of trousers that were on the verge of falling off.. His distress, how ever, ended when Dean Dillard sup plied him with three ten cents safety pins. . "Stop him, boys, stop him," bawled Dick as one of the students took a swipe at a vehement varmint that was feasting on his shank. When the corpse of the varmint was brought to the front, Dick's tears flowed more freely, and in a voice choked with emotion, he sobbed: "I- can't- stand- it- boys- call -Dunbar-" It is understood that plans are afoot, under Dick's direction, to stop the manufacture of "Flit," "Squirt," and similar concoctions in order to pro tect the lives of innocent roaches, mos quitoes, flies, and the leading ladies of flea circuses. It is a common sight to see Dick, his pockets stuffed with red, pink and blue ribbons, walking from tenement to tenement, carrying Timmie in one hand and a bar of Palmolive soap in the other. Father Murphy says he is continu ally annoyed by calls from Dick who confesses day after day that once, in a fit of violent anger, he slew a roach. In the eyes of Dick there is a vacant and hopeless stare. Daily he is seen placing flowers on ant hills and de positing milk near toad stools. --u.a.o. CO-EDS WILL RIDE CAMPUS BARE BACK RIDING SCHOOL OPENS Kenniedy and Gantt to Demon strate Horsemnship and Saddling Horse-back riding will soon replace the bicycle sport which has been pro moted by the Manitito Club through out winter months. According to a head-line in the Gamecock of February 5, "Pair of horses in University library," the time honored repository for books will be used as a stable for horses, and stalls will be erected in the basement. Professor Kennedy has been seen bestriding a wooden rocking horse while clad in pink velvet breeches, boots, and large spurs. A rumor -is being circulated to the effect that the robust professor is to teach little co eds how to sit on a horse, and that he baa a contract to double .for Dug Fairbanks in a rough-riding gymnastic scene, Aid is to be furnished. Kow-boy Kennedy by Miss Floride Gantt,. for tspor assistant librarian, who will in struct a class in aesthetic dancing while riding her horse bare-backed. The horses, ponies, and other things customarily found around stables will tre .taken ,care of by John Madison Xoyangmner, ex-editor of the Gamecock, Jpjp says be intendt, to handle all matters wRh gloves op,-as has been his habit during the months from Jan uary througrh 1becembe. 4IMALS WEEK Ad-vice to Loveworn Dear Darling Lotta, By much reading of your column I haye coume to thf conclusion that we mlt be kindred; spirits. Won't you meet pg' sgme night outsl4e the Game 'tock lindpw and;: let me' explain to yoi" I'm sure I could'be much more impressive in a personal interview. Frank A. Shufeldt, Jr. Dear Frankiec ", ! Naughty! naughty! Aren't you ashamed to kid an old .ady along like this? The very ideal "And when you meet me tonight, at eight o'clock if agreeable, you .will. see that we are not kindred spirits-because I'm usually considereds1y. You'rh in anticipation, Lotta. Dear Miss Advice, I am simply goofy over a handsome professor whose class room is next to mine. We often have occasion to see each other at faculty meetings and he seems to enjoy my company, how ever, on the one date we have had he was singularly reserved. What can I do? Irene Dillard. Dear Irene, Always remember that nothing at tracts men so much as erudition in women. Why don't you brush up on your Shakespeare for him? You might begin by quoting "The quality of mercy is not strained." Lotta. CO-ED CLEOS IS HOT PERSUIT OF FAME WHO HAS THE MOST IT? Misses Bynum and Pegram Have Eliminated all Other Con testants The University Campus is an up roar due to the fact the hottest con test of the century is now being waged to determine the true IT girl. At first it was thought that Miss Martha Pegram, a demure and reti cent brunette, would easily be ac claimed the winner, as Gentlemen pre fer blondes. But at this stage, Miss Bynum, a boystrous blonde, is nosing in ahead due to the fact that Miss Pegram has rather retiring features. Mr. Paul Ritch, Miss Bynum's campaign manager, has just taken a definite stand for his candidate, bas ing his assertions upon the fact that campaign funds now on hand will be invested in another bottle of peroxide. Miss Bynum, when interviewed to have her nomination confirmed, ad dressed the reporter eagerly saying, "yes, I choose to run." Since that time she has been in a constant run, soliciting votes from her many mascu line admirers. H{owever, the strain of the contest is beginning to show its effects. Miss Pegram is in a very nervous state but faithfully continues her strife for this much sought for honor. Gener ally, Miss Bynum shows no effects of the anxiety which she is undergoing, except for a peculiar starey expression of the eyes. P. S. Last returns show that Miss Bynum won by a neck. This enabled her to annogqn9e fromn the University Chapel thatj he will be kun#i,t6 hei fellow students in thi -'futudi, as Miss It(ch). No doubt such popularity will not fail to be obsrved... "No, they are not my kittens, though they were born in my bed," mewed Miss bi{argaret Lyons, whose very name..Indicate, a relati9nship to the. feline' farnly.. The occasion was the first birthday of two young yowlers who were dis covered by Miss Lyons while occupy ing her bed in a co-ed dormitory. She had no further statement to make con cerning the identity and probable parentage of the plgMe lios. CO-ED AND H .A$tbuieea 7 TO LEAVE .,JUNE Grace Saner and Oscar Make Final Arrangements For Tour To Europe Having been teleape fom h vaudeville cointract, under' which" dhi has toured the country since last April, Grace Saner, popular co-ed and orga nizer of a Frenck Club, has decided'.o abandon 0ll -stage work. and accom pany Prof. Oscar a 1a Keith to France this summer. This announcement comes as no sur prise, due to the fact that Miss Saner, is considered a very capable student "en francais," having been pursued by the course each of her four years, be cause of the great interest this lan guage holds for her. In fact, the fascination is so alluring that the bright young crow-ed has decided to spend another 'ear delving through the leaves of Dear 01' Maupassant. "But Dr. Keith, do you really think that Miss Saner is scholarly adept and efficient enough to assist you in your work there," inquired a skeptical friend of the beloved professor. "Why-Miss Saner comands a very excellent reading knowledge of French and, in almost every department, does she show complete mastery," replied Monsieur, with a splitting smile that caused the left section of his musjache to vibrate with the nervousness of a newly grown cactus plant. The two have made arrangements for obtaining passports and have se cured sleeping quarters on the good ship "Lowerdeck," which sails the 15th of June. Although little information was given out as to the .possible ma terialization of their plans, after they make their departure, it is understood that Monsieur Keith has been in com munication with a whaif-keeper, who supervises the employment of dock hands, and it is expected that Miss Saner will be employed in the vicinity of the Brest. In order that these who possess the slightest indication of a desire to keep in touch with the two University lumi naries while they are abroad, through epistulary communications, cablegrams and otherwise, the studious fanatics will establish permanent quarters at "Casino de Smello Cheeso," near the wharves. TEACHERS COMMAND KEY Cont. From Page 1 for all I care." With these well chosen idioms, colloquialisms, or what have you in your song book. Dr. Babcock hung down the phone. When interviewed by a representa tive of the Police Gazette, he beamed a proud smile, and produced a bunch of 127 keys, many of them rusty. "Yes, I have collected keys for ten years now, since my fourth birthday. Here is a valuable skeleton key, here the key to the local jail, this key opens the door of my private bedroom which is padded so that I may sleep on the floor, any one of the four walls, or the ceiling, according to my mental vagaries. The house is the big, white one up Sumter Street. Here's the key to Dean Baker's four rooan wine cellar and distillery, and sahi Here's my key to knowledge!" "I exercise a personal magnetism over keys and locks. Hence my ability to go places and see things. I regret the incident of the ladies' rest room, bu:t made a New Year's resolutioni never to put a key in a key hole when I could play Peeping Tom." (Ac cording .to Hoyle, the man whto watched Lady Godiva ride bare backed.) "But my favorite dish is raw eggs. F.ven now I eat four of them every morpiing." Statement of ; Sweedish gymnast and physicipl director at V. ,P. I. Must be another one of those bed springr aerobats. IF PL TRIP UTE T0 300A~ LINE IA ~O Y w C C he smot est easiest riding Bn? in op' e wi "no u ! Rates on Request for Special Trive CAMEL CITY COACH CO. Phone: 7603 Office: 2118 Main St. Columbia, S. C rice-Joye Cora i . Ql .,. ~ele#s and P kez A, Just around the corner froY a inp s HARR' 'L. TITh GSON, Campus Rep. ,120941 Pqndptojs St 8 035 fo SO :. Private Booths . Privata Dining RoonZ MEXICAN -CAFE PASO DEL NORTF Specializing in Genuine Mexican and American Dishes Telephone 9282 3714 Main St. Columbia, S. C. Music MEXICAN CAFE Dancing College Clothes Need Careful and Constant Attention. Let Us Keep You Well Dressed LEAVE THEM AT CANTEEN OR GAMECOCK PRESSING CLUB Caroiuna Dry Cleaning Co. BURNETT'S DRUG STORE CAROLINA SEALS, JEWELRY, STATIONERY DRUGS, DRINKS, CIGARS Pi Kappa Phi, Sigmu Nu, Sigma Alpha Epsilon, Kappa Alpha, Apha Tau Omega--$1.00 per box Envelopes and Paper One Block From Campus Phone 3191 Cor. Main and College Columbia Dry Cleaning Co. Newest and Most Modern Just Around the Corner From the Campus CLAUDE SCARBOROUGH, Manager G. 0. RILEY - C. B. LAWRENCE Campus Representatives CHICK FOSTER 905 Main St. Phone 3129 Shoes Mark the Carolina Man! OUR DELUX AND IDEAL LINE WILL GIVE YOU THE MARK OF DISTINCTION AND WELL DRESSED PRICED $4.00 and$#6.85 .MAR.ION MILLER, Campus Representative MERIT SHOE CO. 1581 MAIN STREET KIN14EY SHOES FOR THE COLLEGE STUDENTS $2.98 To $5.98 SHOES FOR THE WHOLA FAM1ILY - 621 MAIN'AITRI#P