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HARRY STOTTLE Sex A delicious moon and a perfect night; A fine stretch of road; no house in sight, A man and a girl and an automobile; A scuffle inside, then a high pitched squeal, A sudden stop, and the door hard slammed, And a man's rough voice sayin', "I'll be damned I" Then a foot on the gas and desperate ride, With an inch of hatpin stuck in his hide, And a hank of hair and a rag and a bone Sobbin' and ploddin' the road-alone. With apologies to Bert Green. "Once upon a time there was a stu dent at Carolina who got up at seven o'clock one morning, went to take a bath and the water was just as hot as could be desired, found a towel that his roommate had not already used, and his razor, shaving cream, soap, blades and brush had not been bother ed since his last shave, opened his drawer and found a nice clean shirt laying right on top of the pile, his tie was exactly where it should have been. He them met his classes and not a one of them was boresome even tho' they were all lecture courses. Went to the picture show, after a delicious dinner, with a very pretty co-ed, then on to supper where he ound a place reserved for him. Returning to his room he settled down to a night of studying and was not bothered a single time by the noise from upstairs. Undressing, lie said his prayers and crawled into bed exactly at ten o'clock and was soon fast asleep." This ladies and gentlemen, closes our program for this evening. Professor Ima Damli will broadcast another of his famous stories from this station next Friday evening at ten o'clock. Good night. We feel certain that our meaning will not..be clear to the majority of the readers but as John Bolt Culbertson would say, "To be great is to be mis understood." And that reminds us of the latest Halitosis song, "Moonbeam, kiss her for me." The subject of kiss ing has again and again been discuss ed in this column. From previous ex periences I (1o not think that there is anything wrong in a girl kissing a fel low provided she hasn't got halitosis, or loose pins on her. But she needn't sacrifice her dignity nor rouge in so doing. If you wish to know how a Martyr of old really looked, observe the editor about Thursday at dinner time. Since Nellie found out about neck ing she's going with the Giraffes. *"Open your mouth and shut your eyes." "Whassa madder, ain't there no label on the bottle?" The occasion of Eve getting the ap ple marked the first and only time a woman wvas ever up a tree. "Tromorrow is Thursday, the next (lay is Friday, and the next day is Sat 'Jrday night." said the roommate as h pulled off his shoes. Thei only (difference between a modl erni co-ed and a seventeenth century pirate is that the pirate is dead. They giggled when I sat dlown on the niano stool, but when I b)egan to play they' laughed right out loud. "So you were at the battle of Issur Tille I" she enthusedl. ''And did your company lose heavily ?" "Yes'm, they did," asserted the bash ful vet. "That is, they did until they caught me with them loaded dice." And he cleaned them up like soap niever (lid. Dumb-"Don't the football players ever have their suits washed?" Dora-"Sure. What do think the "Y" Inaugurates New Officers Parrish and Edwards Make Ad dresses-New Committee Appointed At the "Y" meeting held in chapel last Sundhy night, William S. Parrish, president of the Y. M. C. A., and Les lie W. Edwards, ex-president, made thei1 inaugural and exaugural addresses. Parrish, a jt.nivr is from Batesbrg and Edwards, a senior is from Darliiig ton. Both have held other offices in the Y. M. C. A. as well as high offices in the literary societys and other cain pus organizations. Other officers going into office at the meeting were Bert Karick, vice-presi dent; Sewell Hawkins, secretary; and Ralph Lewis, treasurer. New members of the comniittee have been appointed and their power to func tion began with the recent inauguration of executive officers. The following were appointed on the various committees. the first named of each group being the chairman: Publicity: Kenneth Grimsley, Frank Taylor, Erskine Legette, Jesse A. Rut ledge, Roger Pinckney, and Remsen Bat,knight. World Christain Education: R. L. Lis ter, J. P. Norris, A. E. Toney, J. F Alman. Finance: R. H. Atkinson, and Jack Bates. Religious: Bert Karick, Sam Taylor, Walter Johnson, F. W. Moorehead. Freshmen: Drufus Griffin, Julian Thomas, Everette Derrick, Nigel League, Horace Sawyer, Paul Wright. Campus Service: Bruce Gressette. William Wamer, Leslie Horton, V. M. Williamston. Christain and Social Service : Bruce Davis, John Yonnginer, C. L. Scott, Roy Prince. Conference: B. F. Buie, Jasper Der r:ck, W. Reese. P'rayer: J. J. Brown, J. C. Stowe, H. C. Wel(on, W. P. Tr,rkette. Bible Class: H. B. Stevenson, A. C. Clement, Y. S. Williams. Membership: Griffith Pugh, Evan-s Canton, Dan Brown, Carl Brown. Social: M. C. Williams, Wilbur Zeig ier. John Turner. Life Service: T. P. )evlin, N. C. Croft. For Fruit Drinks. -VISIT HAMPTON'S Home-Made Candies 1218 Main St. Columbia, S. C. Receptions Furnished Only Place of Its Kind in the City Finds Tobacco for "eBreaking In a Pipe Columbus, Ohio Larus & Bro. Co. Mrh1,12 Richmond, Va, Gentlemen: Two years ago my wife gave me an expensive pipe. I smoked it a great deal for two or three weeks, put it aside, Ithen began smoking it again. This time it was very strong. Veterans told me that it had been smoked too hard for a new pipe and should be put away. The pipe was laid away again. A short time ago I got it out and smoked one of the common brands of tobacco in it. The results were disappointing. I told the druggist of my experience with it. He asked if I had tried Edge Iworth. I told him I never had. I fol lowed his suggestion, and I am honest when I say that it has restored the sweetness to the pipe, and has made me wonder. Was it the pipe or the brand of tobacco that caused me to Ilay it away for the long period of time? As a novice, I prefer Edgeworth. I am going to stick to it, as I feel satis fied that there is none better on the market. Sincerely yours, Philip C. Shera Edgeworth Extra High Grade Smoking Tobacco Joseph Karesh Goes To Speak in Tilt Furman Man Presides Over Con test To Be Held In Win throp Auditoruim Joseph Karesh is leaving today for Rock Hill, where tonight he will, as the University's representative, com pete against speakers from eight other colleges in South Carolina. The con test will be held in the auditorium of Winthrop College. Raymond Hilde brand, member of the Executive Com mittee of the State Oratorical Associa tion, will accompany. 'r the winner of the contest, in which will compete, besides Carolina's representative, representatives from Presbyterian College, Newberry, Fur man, The Citadel, College of Charlee ton, Erskine, Clemson, and Wofford will be given a handsome medal and a cup for the school. The cup is donated by Sylvan Brothers of Colum bia and is to be retained in permanent possession by the school winning it for three years. Second place will also receive a medal. Carolina has won the contest only three times in the past twenty-three years. Her last victory came in 1921 when Ellison Smith captured the cov erted contest. Erskine College has made a remarkable record, having won the contest three out of the past four years. The contest will be presided over by George Jeffers of Furman Univer sity, president of the association. Etwist of "thrw" of the; of the. weight--thes< I many little points a skill that you admit thrower as he hurls hundred feet or mo As on the track field, in the gymnasit the water, so in indus ress is the result improvernents-a th< Whets fr a .ski GENEI The Univei Sh HEILP CAROLINA STUDE HAIR CUTS, SHAVES, We Give Special Attention a OPEN FROM 'MWO TO FO CAROLINA STUDENTS! A Good Place to Eat MRS. L. K. BEST 1012 Marion Street One - Half Block From Campus Phone 6963 1117 Washington St. OWEN & PAUL MERCHANT TAILORS Columbia, S. C. Cleaning, Pressing Repairing. Altering Suits & Overciats Made to Order SKILL the wrist, the of an inch he irm, the shifting in a curve are among the fcre::een by vhich make the out by skille< e in the javelin It is this a the shaft two is constantly re-. Elc:-ric appai >r the football to the electi im or on thougl try prog- a dom of fineprofite >er you /ind this monogram on an electric ref i home or on a' 200,00-horsepower II/rbIine-( power station, you can be sur*e that itst 7ed enigineering and hig'h mianufacturing qu, tALL ELI -sity Barber op NTS BY GETTING YOUR SHINES, ETC., HERE nd Special Rates to Students UR EVERY AFTERNOON MOTOR CGACH SERVICE Columbia to Greenville Lv. Coiumbia: 7:30 am, 9:30 am, 11:30 am, 2 pm, 3:30 pm, 5 pm Lv. Greenville: Same Time HAYES Bus LiNEs (Incorporated) 1800 Main St. Phone 8788 THE SANITARY CAFE A Cordial Welcome, Tasty Food Reasonably Priced Polite Service -- Always Open Phone 9138 1345 Main St. 1 re-a minute variation ~here-slight changes engineers and carried 1 workmen. ttention to detail that improving General atus and contributing ical industry, which, i still young, is alrciady inant force, increasing nid promoting success y walk of life. -Pj'rator e>,cralor d:~s for dity. ECTRIC