University of South Carolina Libraries
* > , 'jum, * p ===="r~~ WINNSBORO, S. CM WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4, 1885. ' Bic'e a Wee, and Din.na Fret. i " Is the road very dreary? && Patience yet! Sw Reft will be sweetor if tbou art aweary, ^ And after ni;rht cometh the morning cheery. Then bide a wee and dinna fret. The clouds have silver lining, Don't forget: And though he'6 hidden, still the sun is shinf Courage! instead of tears and vain repining, Just bide a wee, and dinna fret. . With toil and cares unendingArt beset? Bethink thee how the storms from heaven descending. >Snap the stiff oak, but spare the willow bending. And bide a wee, and dinna fret. Grief sharper sting- doth borrow - From regret: m But yester<*?y Is pone, and shall its sorrow r Unfit us few the present and the morrow? Nay; bide a wee, and dinna fret.' An over-anxious brooding Doth beget A host of fears and fantasies deluding; Then, brother, lest these torments be intruding. Just bide a wee and dinna fret. , ^ | ?Every Other Saturday. r ? OX A GATE FOST. CHAPTER L Ambrose Xettleson has what he thinks is a valuable manuscript He thinks so, K doubtleis. because it records a part of his life. One night recently, while I was a* his house, he brought out the manu?*fipt and read it to me. Although I did not ask permission, yet I i do not feel that I violate his conndence t by giving.&s nearly as i can rcaj^moer, k the intents of the paper wliich he tre:?-a rod with such affection: Tie prospect was net cheerful. I was riding a horse across a country whose loneliness was as deep as a sigh which bespeaks the long absence of some one. Night was coming on and a storm was gathering its forces. A Wr frightened owl flitted past me, screamr r ing in my face. The time of year was k when nature' hesitates whether to conjpr tinue winter or begin spring. My ' * horse almost shoqk me off when he stopped and shivered. The owl screamed in my face again. Dead leaves, for a momer t would whirl before me, and ' ' 1 i *1? k mea iau, seauereu suu wru aa tuuu^u they had. by an angry hand, been swept from their long."damp rest, only to be mocked. "What a dreary, dreary place it is!"-I mused. "I feel as though something terrible is going to happen. The air, just before the great agitation which mast come, J seems quivering in its desire to bear the sound of murder, murder! As I ft Live, yonder is light. It is possible Ilk :hat I shall receive shelter?'1 gl? Urging my horse forward, I soon reached a small house, near- the sumOA rnit of a desolate peak, overlooking the Arkansaw river. I dismounted near the door?there was no fence around V the house. My horse looked appeal. imrlv at me and without asking per-' r mission from any one within, I led the animal to a stable close at hand and took c?T saddle and bridle. As I was returni^.r, the storm burst upon the river. When I approached the door, I heard a wail. 1 knocked and I heard * the wail coming slowly toward me. The door was opened by a girl scarcely more than twelve years old. Her face *?as the picture of despair. She said j nothing, but pointed to a bed, upon which lay an old man, gasping for ' breath. Approaching him, I saw that he had but a few minutes to ilve. Tne K girl knelt beside the old man. He fc tried to put bis hand upon her bead.. Failing, ho looked at mo and I assisted ^ him. He tried to speak, but could not. The girl sobbed frantically. The rain poured down and the storm shook the house. "He will never get well!" she cried. "My grandpa will die." Yes, her grandpa would die. His life had already passed away. The hand ^ lying on her head was growing cold. |j| She looked at him and shrieked. H What a night we spent in tiiat house. H The storm howled and the rain fell until nearly daylight. The girl, who I saw was intelligent, with an impressive face, said that her name was Munette Loggemon, and that since ner earnest recollection she had lived with -.he old man who had spent the most of his time, since she had begun to talk, in teaching her. "I have no relatives," she said in answer to a question. "Any friends?" "No'friendj." "You have neighbors?" .. _ "None. The nearest house is nearly eight miles away." 1 knew not what to do. Surely the situation was serious. Early at morning, we buried the old man in the yard. As best I could, I made a coffin of a i trough which I found in the stable. After the burial. I went out and found i enough corn for my horse. I left Musette at the grave, on which she had, sobbing bitterly, thrown herself. . "Where are you going, little girl?" I asked when I" returned, still finding her on the grave. , "How can I go anywhere?" she asked. "I have no friends, I told you." "You cannot remain here." "I cannot go away." "I will notTleave you here. You must go with me. My mother has no little girl. She will receive you." Still lying on the grave, and without looking up, she replied: "I will go and work for my board." "You will not have to work. When T toll mv f oirf?nm<ts.nf>ea I under which I found you, she will take you in her arms. Come, get your clothes. It is time we were leaving here. See, the sun is shining beautifully. It is a new day for you." Without replying, she arose and turned toward me. Ker face, even aside from her grief, was so sad, and her eyes wore a look of such tender apr peal that even though she had relatives I would have thought it my duty to take her home with me. She went into toe house ana soon reiuruea wun 3 small bundle. "I haven't much to take."' she said. 4- "Grandpa and I were very poor, and 1 you see, having inherited his poverty, I am poorer than ever." I was not surprised to hear .her make, such a remark, for I had discovered that she never associated with children and was consequently wise of her age. "You shall have some nice dresses after a while," I replied. "Pretty red ones?" \ Tho child was asserting itself. ^ i.V J M auu mue vucs. She wept anew as we mounted the horse?she seated behind me. As long as we were within sight of the house she said nothing, but when we had descended .into the thick woods, she 4,I won't cry any more, if I can help "Your grandfather most have been ?Pgl|fl^ "Yes. but he made me read many HT>ooks that were very dull?great law Rooks. I don't like them. "His eyes ttjr many years have been so bad that I had to do all his reading for him. He wrote a book fall of curious things and murd?rst but one day when he found me read in 2: it, he took it away from me and burnecl it up. It must" have been bad and he must have been sorry that he wrote it. What is your name?" I told her, and expressed my surprise that she had not sooner asked me. "It was your place to tell me without my asking,1' she said- "When I told you my name, yoa should have told me yours. Don't you see?" I acknowledged the justice of her rebuke. The day passed rather pleasantly, with the exception of the influence of the night before, which naturally enough she could not dispel and which [ omifd not keen from arisin? occasion ally. We sat on a log and ate dinner, and Munettels remarks gave me additional insight into her close habit of observation. When evening came, we stopped at a farm house, where the sad story of the little -girl awoke' such sympathy that the kind-hearted house-wife begged me to allow the child to remain with her. ' Tf ic o nnoct-inn that she must d&? cide," I rejoined. "What do you say, Munette?" "I am surprised that you should ask me such a question," she replied, approaching the chair where I sat and taking my hand. "Would it not be ungrateful in me to desert you so soon. Or to ever desert you?" ^ "She's <pt more sense than an old woman right now," said the host, adrtr^ssincr his wife. "Our twentr-eisrht year old daughter that married last month ain't a patchin' to this girl." "W'y, Jesperson," said his wile, in mild censure, "Margaret ain't twentyeight years old." "She's mighty nigh it" "An' besides that," continued the woman, "she n ver had a chance." "Didn't go to school three months outen nearly every year, eh? What show docs a'gul want," I'd like to know? This little /ireetur, I warrant you never ? 1? A. ..L ..1 1} a as oeen zo scqooj. "Oh, yes, sir: My whole life has been a school. The old house where I used to live contains many Books. If you want them you may go there and get them. I shall neverjjo after them. I could never re^d theca Bgaitt;" "Well, blast, my, bnt^ons^if I don't mosy up that waj^VTmuch of a scholar^- but I "reckon I .can worry through ,wjtfc. a lotrof them.1' - > V> *, CHAPTER IL *? ?v \ s f ! Mv mother. Welcomed Munctfej.ahd" when I related'4be sad - story jof jiow I found her, tlwi-.'sympathetic .-Wyoman took the child^ni-her arms aafkiassed her. A - few days afterwards",'" when I tcturnedTbomej after /a- sfiort\absence, she Hashed'upon me_fc^'j^y.-red d?>s& She was more of-a-child J&t ever seen ?ix?reW?$an I ha.d ,-wffQ^hf it possible for her to' become. My. mother was delighted via We her inooeent pranks, and I, for the first time, lv*/SftA/) f Ua AV? lL? M55CU IUC CiAAiu.* "You have kissed me at last," she said. "Is it because I look better in thi$ dress?" "It is because you look more like a child. Before, you reminded me so much of a woman." "Do not women like to be kissed?" I laughed and my mother, shaking her head?I can see her gray hairs now ?said: "Ah, Ambrose, our young girl has a very old head." ? We sent Munette to school. The teacher, a man who had the reputation of being profound, met me one day and said: "Look hore, ilunette is the most remarkable child I ever saw. She has. read so many books and makes me such wise observations that I am constantly surprised. To tell you the truth, I cannot advance her. Not' that I am not intellectually able?ahem?But er ?because I do not think that at her age it would be safe. . Therefore I would advise you to take her from school. I know the effect that too much learning has on youth. * I know hew narrowly I escaped." When I spoke to Munette, she said, That school is a very dull place. It isa constant hum of arithmetic. I don't like to cipher, as the children call it. Fractions make my head ache and miscellaneous example%?ake me sicL Let m/> chulv at home." I took her from school. She was a devoted student, but was never so absorbed that she was oblivious to the little attentions which a woman of my mother's age prizes so highly. Munette grew rapidly and I was pleased to see that she was daily becoming more graceful. CHAPTER III. The .war came on. How natural it is, in writing a story, to say "The war came on;" but this is not a story, and nothing can be more natural than truth?although.it is said to be stranger than fiction. Therefore, when I say that the war came on, I intend that the declaration should, have its full mean t 1 - t__ *..11 _ tn<5. 1 iUIi. UUIUU mil .Ji pi 1UC. a nuo a captain. My mother prayed; but Munet:c* did not seem to be aftected. "Good bye,1' she said. "War is one of the incidents of civilizatiop, as well as % feature' of barbarity. ' I know that' you will do your duty, and that you will not foreet the little girl whom you once saw sobbing under the hand of a dying man. When you return, I shall be old enough to kiss you." . I looked at her in astonishment. Merriment sparkled in her eyes. "You aonr use 10 kiss cniiuren, jv seems. "Munette, you are strange. I oncesaid that I did not kiss you because you looked like a woman." "Oh, yes, that is true. I thought that you did not want to kiss me Decause I was so smail. There now, captain, don't swell up like a toad." I turned away. She called me, when I was about a hundred yards away and said: "When you pass the big gate, look on the right hand pest." I did so and found the words. "I love f/vrc " TTnrfor thtQ T wrote. "And I love you." I did not receive but one letter from . Munette, and that might just as well have been written by a professor of geology, for its four pages were devoted to a description of a lot of pebbles she had found in a cave. I returned home ragged and ill. Muuette was delighted to see me. She was so peculiar, though that 1 could notlell whether or not she still loved mfe. It seemed that she did not. for whenever I attempted to remind her of it, she fVi/? T.ikfi all true VAiU4,0VV4 "'"*V '.'MVJVV.. lovers, I felt that without her my life would be a blank. ' I spoke to my mother concerning my trouble. "She is a very strange girl, but I always found her frank except when I asked her if she loved you, and she replied that the hawks had carried off three of the dominicker hen's chickens." One day, in passing the big gate, I wrote on the post the following: "Will you marry me?" Two days afterwards I visited the place and found the word "yes." Without further communication, except to appoint the time by "Post," we were married. 1 di<l not find bet disposition to be peculiar,' only in the intensity of her love for me. "Why did you treat me so?" I one day asked her"The dorainicker has a great deal of trouble with her chickens,"shereplied. Shortly afterwards, when she thought that I was not looking, she threw bajk uci ucau auu Traveler. Buggy-Riding Made Easy. A Williamsport g Lius claims to have invented a bnsrgry that, like the boy's whistle, goes itself?that is, it doesn't require a horse to make it go. It is furnished with two upright levers in front of the seat, by means of which the rider can propel it with great ease six or seven miles an hour. If he has a feminine partner, i.e can use one lever and she the other. If the weather andscenery are delightful, the riders can be as deliberate as they please. Tln-v tan 3to^> to rest, if they want to, under a big shade tree without being compelled to pull at the bit of au impatient horse, or make their'selves hoarse shouting "whoa" r> him. The?new buggy won't, scare or run away, wrecking itself and ruining the feathers and finery of its fair occupant. And there is no hor?e with eyes to see and give away afiy trifling improprieties that may be in/Inlornrf ir> tft 'the UeW *" r ' buggy do^n't cat, docsn t have to be tubbed dwwri four times a day, ' doesn't want a new set of blankets every fall, and a new harness and whip once a year. In .short, the cost of the buggy, which is about that of a modern bicycle, is all the outlay required. It is evident from this description that the Williamsport invention tills a long-felt want. When the new bug^y has become popularized everybody Lwill ride, of course, and livery-stablekeepers with their vexatious bills, will go out of fashion. Romeo, and Juliet, as they take their daily drive in the park, each working a lever of the new vehicle, will be taking practical les. sons in the art of workingin matrimonial harness. If auv would-be Juliet should prove too lazy to work her lever, Romeo would understand at once that he had better be looking for a new Juliet with a more industrious turn of mind. The ordinary riders will ride for pleasure and go as slow or as ; .fast as their muscles and surplus ener| gy dictate, instead of feeling compelled, (vats now, to drive like Jehu lp order so get their money's worth out of a hired ! norse or team., ~ | The only drawback to this delightful picture of a possible era'in Which i everybody can-take buggy-rides to his ^heart's content, is the fact that the inp ventor has only perfected one of these ^self-acting buggies and charges an ad| mission of 25 cents.to all who want to see it.?Philadelphia Times. Tripped Up by a Yahoo. The other day, after having made a ! careful examination of our edition of J Worcester (dated 1882, the latest issue) and our copy of Webster's Unabridged ("dated 1881"), a book in which 1 wc Had-all confidence, and which heret tofore has never failed us, we published to the world the fact that the word popularly pronounced "dy-namite" should be, according to the best usage, pronounced "din-amite." Both the above works, as well as the new Imperial dictionary, an English work, agreeing in the matter, we felt that we occupied strong ground in^ making the announcement "D.i*. oAnma fV>of Anr V*oncr txtqa UUli Xb OVUiUJ ?Ut*V VU* Tt WW not as strong as we thought it was; and so we have been tripped up. And by whom? Not by any world-renowned orthoepist, not by a Knowles, not by a Smart, not by a Richard Grant White, not even by a Prof. Burtt; but by a yokel, a bumpkin, a yahoo from between the furrows on the Washington county frontier, whom no one' would dream of bein^ picked up by in prthoepy; by Col. Chili Hazzara, editor of the Monongahela Republican, who, referring to our pronunciation of the word, says, in a late issue, that the. Leader had "better go down street and blow in a dictionary. The proper M-nnnnioatinn nf tho wnrH is r\V-Tl ?.mito yiVUUUtVUV^VU V* V**V ? v? - according to the iatestTintage of Webster on a bridge." Well, it is awfully galling to be corrected by our rustic contemporary, but "mevertheless, we went down street and discovered that Editor Hazzard was right* "Webster's Unabridged" (dated;l884), without giving any reason for the sudden flop, now gives the pronunciation of the word with the 100?; sound of the *4y," while Worcester ana the Imperial still hold to the old style. ?Pittsburg Leader. The Gay Mr. William Weeks. As a gay deceiver, William Weeks, a Long Island farmer, takes the cake. I Some .time ago-William went to Freeport and married a young widow who ; owned a. good term. Everything passed merrily for a time, when he steppe'd over to Norwood and married another widow, also scooping in another good farm. He lived with number two awhile and then returned -to number nnp. -ATnlainincr his absence bv savins that- he had been engaged in a lncky speculation. The next day he went back to number two and told her the" same story. In a short tnrie the senior I wife began to .watch him, and soon j found him in his Norwood home. Willj iam was equal to the emergen^-. He. runaway, stopped in Brooklyn.;married another widow, and escaped to J'- ' tj. r- 4.u^4. v,anaua- o.i IS pism mat iuu luuiuaiing gallant is monopolizing" the widows, and unless something is done to check his carcer, he will gobble up all the well-to-do women of the bereaved variety to be fount in the circle of his travels.?'Jllanta Constitution. A Terrible Weapon of Defense. If a pompous wiseacre tries to sit, down on vou. ask him rapidly a few ?? /_11 questions iise uie ioiiowiu?: What, if any. is the difference be-:: tween kf.i:ik and a caique? What, if any, is the difference between. Jacobins and Jacobites? What, if any, is the difference between the ear of Dionysus and the ear of Dionvsius? " , How "do you'accent vagaryt'ccterie, and survey? ^ How do you pronounce pronouncia >. uuu; ?. . - * ^ What is the meaning of the phrase to "bum your chuck?" These questions will make it pleasant for him.?t/o/m Swintori's Paper. While there are in China hundreds of thousandsof professional native haggars, it is pointed, out as a singular bat significant fact that not in California, or anv of the Pacific States can there be foand a Chinese bezgar - - OLD NEWSPAPERS. The Yarloafc-Usea to Which They Hay he Pat.: Old newspaper* are of more use than would appear at a^first glance. We subscribe to tie daily newspapers be cause we mttstbe intormecr on an zne affairs of the day. Then many think the next . thing is to "relegate thpm to the kitchen in-order to-provide-Kind-' ling for the household fires, and itmnst be confessed that Bridget-makes very free use of them in that way.r-j t. - . But ttuy.'sezve so. ipaa^BX^eU?ttt purposes besides that it seems a pity to kit Bridget fcaveftfll -sway, though she may try to cotrrince-yon that it is impossible' 'fir get tbfc breakfast'without . even usingthose ofth'e very latest date. . It has been-, several .-James suggested by economists-that newspapers can be j mirfA tn tfttft tha t>Lace of blankets in I guarding from cold,--and it is a fact well worthy "of notice tfcatr tHey have been prpyed-very satisfactory in making ligfefe; convenieDt,' And warm bed coverings .when otheK^aiuid.t^ be .had- , Travelers would do-wciL?to.-bear, this in mind when'- iaff fi^m-'fne region ofhotels, and no?;tlrrow their paper out of the car window,"orleavc it on their seat in cfaangmgcars, -ior incre is^no . toiling J^w?se&H t . emergency ta-^ard^ft'eaWi As_a preventive.of,that:f^alr^is<?!9C^:PQ6anio-, nia, a folded newspaper laid beneath the outer clothingacroas the chest, is said to >beinf&Uible. . This tas been confirmed to the writer by the testimony of an individual whose avocations kept him constantly t exposed to all weaibers, night and day. He was a resident of a country village, a perfect type of a hearty, strong, vigorous man, and .lie accounted for 1_- V A. L lit. i. -1L L J* ? i l+li nnfmtf hefo nrlinrr Uia iliS iUUU3b UCiUVUi exposures, by saying that, although inheriting consumptive tendencies, he had been able to resist-them through the simple precaution of always weariug a newspaper folded over his chest under his coat. As a preventive of cold feet, a piece of newspaper folded in the sole is quite equal to, if not so elegant or so expensive as cork ' or lamb-skin soles, being light, soft, and easily renewed. If you wish to test the power of a newspaper in excluding cold, try tacking one, doubly folded, between your winHrtw flnf? vnp" .,^and of r>lants. and see how nicely they will be protected, and ho# frosty the Yrindow will consequently be. Newspapers will in the autumn, be-' fore severe black frosts come on, effectually protect greenhouse plants, before you take them iip, from cold and wind. The writer remembers once -driving up about dusk to a country place ana being startled at seeing what looked like ajjlatoon of ghosts drawn up in white array before the house, whioh turned out to De, on closer inspection, rows of tender plants all tied tip in newspapers to protect them from the sudden frosts incident to the season, that in ouc night might cut them all down. Wo have known tomato plants protected in the same way, aud made to ripen in the open garden much longer by this inexpensive, easy pre caution within everyone's reach. ; Old newspapers are admirable as floor coverings under carpets, or even KnrAAd under Kensinarton squares, re taining all the dust, which neither remains in the carpet nor sifts through to the iioor; they can be so easily removed that it is a great saving to use them in this way, especially as, the dust wall shaken out, the papers are equally serviceable for kindling purposes afterward, so can do double duty besides the legitimate one of heralding the news of the day. Weather strips are now almost universal, as well as double windows, for securing warm rooms'; but when*, as it is the ease in some old-fashitfned coun iry LIUlibCS, i uvj die uuii yiut.uiauH/, newspapers can supply the deficiency very well by biriiig cut in long strips, neatly folded over, and stuffed in theinterstices, and so most effectually exclude .the cold outer .air. Old .newspapers are excellent to clean windows with. Slightly, damped, then rubbed till clcar, they serve tie purpose much better' than even linen clotn, for there is no lint to rub off. - Newspapers wrapped abound the feet under the stockings are an effectual protection against mosquitoes as, with all their virulence, they can not bite through paper. Old newspapers are faithful mirrors of the past. As they increase in age the very advertisements become curious. Therefore, those who have no use for the modern newspapers in all the various ways we have pointed out must find intellectual profit in storing them away till the time when some circumstance may drag them forth from their long-forgotten hiding-places to claim an interest in human eyes which perhaps they neyer had to such an extent before. Illustrated papers are very useful in adorning tne wans 01 rooms, covering > :np unsightly wallpaper or obnoxious holes, the delight of children as well as their instructors, affording gleams of . cheerfulness and pleasure in else gloomy apartments. They are of such infinite variety, too; with their lovely illustrations of poems, natural history, " and comic sketches, as well as portraits of beauties and notabilities, that they continually educate the public taste and give" the impecunious a glimpse of real art they can not else afford?Harpers' Bazar. Came Within One Of It. .* Cady Herrick tells a good one of a scamp who was arraigned at the last term of .the Court of Oyer and Terminer upon the charge of bigamy. Having no defense, the fellow pleaded guilty, and in response to the query of the -Court as to what he had tg say in mitigation of his offense replied: "I want a. good, liberal, easy sentence. I pleaded guilty and saved the county tho expense of a trial and nncrht to be let down 8asv." "How many wives did you say he had married?" the Judge inquired, turning to Herrick. "Four," -replied the gentleman. "Goodness gracious!'* exclaimed the " Judge, I should think he had been punished well enough already. "Yes, indeed," replied Herrick with an air of a.man who knew whereof he spoke, and which carried conviction . with it; "he has been pretty well punished." "That being the case," responded the Judge, "we will deal leniently with him. Prisoner, you are sentenced to the Penitentiary for the term of one year." "Thanks, your Honor. The-sentence meets with my approval and suits me to a tee, and it ought to," he remarked to a bystander. "I could have got five years, but I got ono off for every wife. Why, if I had married five, I'd been acquitted; but Til call the turn next trip," and he went philosophically to prison.?Albany Express. The Gambler. The gamblers of New York have led a precarious, and on the whole wretched, existence for two or three years past. Their places hnvg been raided by both the public and private police, J I. - i.L _ i * _ r i.1. t z _ I aau wneuever me aumuie 01 iue jaw 13 decided toward tbcm tliey read the handwriting: on the wall and tako a holiday. Perhaps the least-satisfied countenances to be seen around our hotels and public resorts are the old gamblers, who long had complete immuni ty, ana to tnisaay preserve a litrie >ioia on the police and even the police justices. Cases are not infrequent of gamblers sitting on our minor benches or being clerks of the courts. Hence a certain latent sympathy in the prosecution of these men, and even on their being surprised. ' The best thing the gambler can do to satisfy himself is to get oxjtr of the business altogether. The occasional funds of money he raises by his dangerous and outlawed trade hardly ever stay "by him, and a gitad deal of it goes to -the police and the lawyers and othejf parasites who hold vice to be their nata^l-^nker and side patron. Our hotel^are alio often indifferent to the presence "of the gambling commun ity right among; their guests, and itr seems tQ me to be a poor thing to do with a guest who comes to town wit>k monfey which lie might otherwise spend in the proper office of hospitality to allow him-to be taken in hand by some gambler's roper in and escorted to some place in the neighborhood wLere he can be picked clcan and has to draw his check, more cr less uncertain, to j>ay his bill and get speedily out of town. . A sufficient number of gamblers will devastate any territory on the globe. .Long island uity, tnougn it is tne capital of 2, county and with the seat of justice, has been kept back notwithstanding long-witted men like Eliphalet Nott thought.;it had such admirable opportunities'Jfchat a half century ago or more they made investments there for the benefit -.'of .Union college and mother trusts. The gamblers found. it a con- : venient spot to halt between the rows ' of tracks and the city, and in a little while the whole city government became the creature of gamblers. Defalcations began, violence was not uncommon, and the tone of that suburb began to grow lower. There is hardly 1 an old racing track on Long Island or in the general vicinity of New York which has not collapsed and left'be-' hind it, a long pile of old board fences ( and some old hotel over which fate and ghosts seem to hover. There are at least two such courses on JLong island, and in every old city their vestiges are to be seen; and the Elysian fields in Hoboken seem never to have recovered j from the gamblers' visitation there half a century. In truth, there can be no occupation so unworthy of a-rightthinking man as to live by temptation i and advantage, refusing work, being J in perpetual watch for men of means or | youths with legacies or prospects, and , thus corrupting at tne iountains or so- ; ciety lives meant to be fully lived out with credit and composure. A man who expects to play this kind of a game- ; and be a permanently happy man is fortifying his wretched conscience with 1 apparent examples in regular life which . he wftl 'find on investigation he has J never*?nderstood.? New York Tribune. ( Powerful Medicine. As a physician, the colored gentle- 1 man has not taken high rank. Doctors who graduate with honors refuse to consult with him. They question his skill and spurn. his roots and herbs. Sometimes, though, the effect of his ' medicines must be acknowledged. Sev erai aays ago, an oia negro wuuse suu had been taken violently ill, sent for Dr. Simeon, a man wjios'e complexion 1 is a perfect harvest of midnight,. but who believes that there is in the woods 1 a remedy for every disease. ' "How is ; he, doctor?" asked the father when the physician had examined the patient. "Sick, sah." "Does ver think that he is danger- : ous?" .' "Eberybody is dangus, sah. Dan- "j gus when he'am' sick; dangus when he : is." ! The doctor gave the boy a dose of 1 medicine and went away. Early the 1 fV?rv r\ovon f CAHOrlit: t.llA ' liUVb bug ?**V physician and with an air of mingled ' grief and anger, exclaimed: . "Yer ole scoun'rel an' hippercrit, yer've killed my boy!" 1 "Who hab?" "Yesse'f, yer olc rattlesnake. He died in about two hours arter yer gin : him dat stuff.1' "Ole man, I sees dat yer doan know [ nuthin' 'bout de heterogcnousness o' dat boy's unsophisticated pluro-nerv- ; onsnpsft. F,f 7 fi.-nlprit.pr mn him dat medicine yistidy, he woulder died las' summer." ... Tlie old man, after a few moments' reflection, said: "Doctor, I hopes dat yer'li 'scuse de ignunce o' er ole man whut ain1 got- er horry high edycation. Good mawnin', s-u."?Arkansaw Traveler. . . m i m The Horrible Kazoo. On last Monday a nice little boy pur. chased one. His father is a highly respectable man, a church member,"and all that, who resides in Woodside. On ! Wednesday he came here a perfect mental wreck. Talked awfully; said 1 had ruined everything, broken up his home, wrecked the family fireside 'circle. and carried on so that ! thought I should have to send for the police' ambulance. From a neighbor I' learned that the boy had done it all. He went out into the yard first and practiced. In a few minutes the watch-dog, which the neighbor said had a voice of wonderful power and elasticity at* night was dead. He split his throat in a vain ' endeavor to equal the notes of the kazoo. As the boy kept on practicing and struck new discords, the boards which composed the back fence began to warp, and finally curled up in agony ?*1*? jJrt f A?_rvanriTr rtoilo >Y iiilC L/ilU IIUUU3 UX Lilt? uuu4? ached. The boy, after getting well up in running the scales, entered the house, and the minds of the family were wrecked. The man has sued for damages, and says if he is expelled from church it will be my fault.?Newark K*,ws. ^ , || I One of the most startling projects of the times is to illuminate the Atlantic ' Ocean by means of electric lights? : actually to make "a path of silver i light" across the water from the banks of Newfoundland to the shores of Ireland. Ten vessels are to be anchored at a distance of 200 miles from another in a straight line, each riding at "a mushroom anchor, which permits the vessels swinging around wi-th the tide without fouling her anchor." These light ships are also to. be connected together and to the shore by an clectric cable, and be able to send messages to any "part of the world. - i i Smuggler's Devices. "You will be .surprised to hear of the curious assortment of dutiable articles that are intercepted in the steamship mails from foreign postcifices," said a prominent oLiicial of the custom house to a reporter for the Iscw York Nomina Journal. "The post is a favorite medium with persons in Great Britain, France, Germany, and other countries for shipping presents to friends in theUnited States. The sender? do not think of the duties to be paid when they forward their packages, but under the customs laws and regulations presents of merchantable value are classe l as dut'able, like goods imported in the regular way. Tradesmen in London, Paris, Berlin, and other European capitals use the mails pretty freely to send samples and goods of small bulk to American customers. "Ladies find an easy, cheap, and safe way of putting into letters and newspapers articles of fashion, knickknacks and mementoes from the old world. The mails are also used for intentional smuggling, but it is some times difficult to distinguish between smuggling and legitimate importations. Diamonds, watches, the precious stones and jewelry of all kinds are intercepted by Mr. J. M. Wilson, of the postoffice bu cau. Not Ion** ago a package which was directed to a Maiden lane diamond-dealer was found to contain several thousand dollars' worth of uncut diamonds. He paid $800 duty on them. Hundreds of packages containing cat'sieves, nrbies, cameos, intaglios, emeralds, and sapphires sufficient to stock a good sized jewelry store are constantly received. "Laces, kid gloves, silk stockings. s.lk handkerchiefs, and other light articles are enclosed hi newspapers and pamphlets. '1 hey are inclosed so that it is hard to detect them. A pair of silver sardine tougs <roing to California was recently found liiddea in a package of pamphlets. In an English newspaper were discovered ladies' silk stockings, one blnck and one red. Ac cording to the revenue law tkese might be taken as sanapies .and entered free. A trick was suspected and the articles were detained. The next steamers mail contained a newspaper addressed to the same person. In it were folded one red and one black silk stocking to match the others. The lady to whom they were addressed iived on Murray Hill. She was sent for and paid the duty." 'J he genial official also told the Jour-, nal reporter that old bibles and books were used to send watches and other jewelry, the leaves being cut out and spaces hollowed out to hold the smuggled articles. One book arranged in this way disclosed, on being opened. tnree goia Draceieis, two waicn cnams, two lockets, a set of sleeve-buttons, fire gold pins, .and two necklaces. This collection was on its way to a lady in Cincinnati. It was appraised at ?334. One mail will bring the lirst part of a book and the next mail the rest of it, but this trick for getting books in free is rarely successful, and many authors, slergymen, and other professional men iiave come to grief in their efforts to sccure valued volumes at a slight cost About the holidays the mails are heavily burdened with dutiable goods, rhe advantages of putting goods through the postofiice over the regular ivay of importing is that no brokerage, warehouse, cartage, or entry fees are required. Jokes That Are Bad. A man entered the bank the other day and said he had a million dollars which he desired to place on deposit: that the money was coming to him from Kentucky, where he had it invested, bat as the parties who had the money had no further use for it and declined to pay interest he wished to place it on deposit, as he only wan' od to use one hundred thousand for himself at present The man talked in a business-like way, but it only took a moment, for Major Harrington, the cashier of the bank, to discover that the mail was unbalanced. He told him that they were not prepared to receive and become responsible for so large a sum of money. "Well, what can I do with it?" asked the man. The cashier told him to scatter it through the country; that there was a great demand for money, and it could readily be loaned. After a moment's reflection the man concluded he wonld do that On inquiry it has developed that the man was a farmer in Crescent Township who had invested extensively in lottery tickets, and the boys, learning of this fact, took advantage of bis weak- , ness, and wrote him letters informing ' . f j j ; aim 01 H16 guuu 1UC&. Jii uiawiug ik 1VLtune, inclosing bogus checks and drafts, which he exhibited at the bank. This seems to have completely unsettled his mind, and he now imagines himself a millionaire. The boys, who thought ; only to play a joke, have indeed mad? 1 a serious business of it, and the friends of the unfortunate victim attribute to 1 them the cause of his aberration.? Watseka (111.) Times. A. Dog With a Memory. A laftAv nompr n-Ati ??mm?nsin tlift Jutterson Market Police Court the other day lor the owner of a greyhound. The carrier said the dog always attacked him on his rounds through Bleecker street. Soon after the postman went away the owner of the animal appeared in court with the dog. The brute, he said, was worth $100. According to its master the greyhound was kicked x. OV a postman wmie u pufFJ* uuuaiv, and although years have eiapsed since then, the dog cannot now see a grey uniform without evincing a strong desire to attack the wearer. While in court another postman came in to deliver the Justice s mail, and the dog was with difficulty restrained from jumping on him, but when Officer Murray stepped to the carrier's side the dog became quiet This, the owner said, showed the dog's respect for a blue coat, which it had been trained to respect as representing law and order.-?N. Y. Herald, A Rnotnn lorlv wild k r><">W }? Xf?OT Orleans, went by the way of the river to the Exposition. On the boat was a party^>f four young giris and a matron, all strangers. One of the young girls gazed earnestly at the Boston lady and then said: "Please excuse me,madam, but what, is the name of the shawl you Lave on?" "It is an India shawL" "And what did it cost?" "About $2, OOO.'' "Madam, will you be so kind as to let me show it to my companion? Neither they nor I have ever seen an India shawl before." The lady kindly agreed and the girls were made happy. < ?New Orleans licayune. , Mexican chamber "maids" are, it is said, invariably Indian boys. Rich Men's Wiv<&. Ths big society people are not all the big millionaires. In fact, the princes of finance do not enter society at all, and their representation in the social circle is feeble at best. The very rich families keep in the background in fact, if indeed they do net gradually gravitate into retirement. . tl. ?i 1 ii. ? rr 1 ^,1. ? j.ue viiiy uue ui iuc rauuciuuio vyuu cuts any brilliant social figure is Mrs. Frederick Vanderbilt She is gay and enjoys the world. "She incurred the displeasure of old man Billy," said a prominent New York society man to a reporter, "for being much older than Fred when she married him. But she controls and guides her young husband and keeps him out of the scrapes the other boys have got into." "Then there is a division in the family?" "So far as Mrs. Fred is concerned. The old man doesn't like her and she doesn't like the old man, and neither is backward in showing it." "She takes charge of her husband, you say?" "Yes, and manages all his money for him. The result is, he is the only, oue of the Vanderbills. who hasn't been played for a sucker in Wall street" "She must be a smart woman?" rc rAn Vv/if An if " UUV M T VU 1^4/ VU 1W "Then why docs the old man dislike her?" ' "Because she's smarter than he is himself. He remembers that the Commodore's wife was much older than he, and that she led him to fortune. Billy objects to the fate that keeps the Vanderbilts in leading-strings and led around by 'she nose by women, however. handsome or accomplished, or smart." "But most of the millionaires trace their success back to the wives of the founders of their houses, don't they?" "No, they don't if they can help it, but it's true all the same. The Commodore's wife showed him Low to make money and save it, sixpence at a time, before he had a bank account; old John Jacob Astor was simply the agent of his wife, who had the business tact of the' firm. The millionaires were made rich by their wives, and in every instance they were older than their husbands." "Then what is the matter with King William?" ' "He is sore because Fred has struck fck -fomilir fM/lifiAn or*/"? bUV iMUillJT M UUUiUU, UUU VsVS* Vt-LXAg t>v the rules, is going to build up a fortune as big as the original without his aid." "He regards Mrs. Fred, then, as a sort of rival ?" "You're grasped the subject The old man is jealous."?New York Letter. ? . m ? Flashing Fire from his Scarf-Pin. Afrvely young ruan with a red. mustache entered a Nassau-street eatinghouse yesterday and took a seat He wore a black neck-scarf, into which was thrust an cdd looking pin. A pretty waiter-girl came up, and while brushing away the crumbs from behind the guest asked for his order. ' "You may bring me some Boston baked " - The young woman did not hear the conclusion of the sentence, for a brilliant light flashed from the odd scarfpin and frightened her so much that she nearly fainted. The young man glanced up with a look of mila sur? -3 ?tj. ? a. ? pnse, aau saiu: \ajre ^uu i&iutr The waitress hurried off to the kitchen. The head of the house, a man whose scanty gray hair and full beard are well' known to those who attend the up-town temperance meetings Sunday afternoons, then next approached He put the pepper bottle back in the caster, picked up a doughnut from the floor, and was about to make an observation upon the superiority of his squash pies, when fire again flashed from the young man's scarf-pin. "What?wha?what is the matter with your neck-tie?" he stuttered, looking at the young man in a startled manner. "It was on tire just now." i<r\ t 11 KJf X LllilC a 2141 xuUJL mured the latter, with a smile. "Any trouble with it now?" "No, I can't see that there is, but?" Hie fire again became luminous and shone with a brilliancy never equaled by any diamond. "It's an electric-light on a small scale," said the young man. "I have a little battery in my pocket By pressing a button a current of electricity is conducted to the pin, which contains a small piece of-carbonized bamboo, and the light is produced. Big thing, isn't it?"?New Fork Tribune. Alaska: The Yukon river ia Alaska is so Long, says Lieutenant Schwatka, that if its source were at Salt Lake its waters might empty into New York Bay, and its mouth is so wide that New York would be on one side and Philadelphia on the other. Alaska has a coast line ?* - -- - * -11 4.1 A. _* _ greater man mac ox an me rest 01 me United States, adding together the Atlantic, Gulf and Pacific seaboards. Alaska contains an area of 500,000 square miles?one-sixth the size of the whole of Europe. It extends to Behring Straits, or about thirty-five miles from Asia. It has 500,000 square miles of forest and can supply the world with lumber for the next ten centuries. Her seal, salmon and codfish crops excel those of any other portion of the world. It has a full supply of gold, copper and iron mines. The south side of Alaska has a climate as mild as Kentucky, while the north side has a climate as cold and rugged as that found in the Arctic Ocean, 25 to 50 below zero for three long months. Alaska carries the model * * - i-^t; I . 1 repuoiic so iar west inai ^auiornia aas become the eenter of that republic. In twenty-five years from date Alaska will be one of the most active, prosperous, go-ahead Territories in the country. A Subterranean Drus Store. Amonjj the latest curiosities in the way of wells is one near Syracuse, N. Y.," which is called the castor oil welL A scum gathers on the surface of tho water which looks, tastes and acts like castor oil. Doctors may sigh for this water, but children will not cry for it. Iso explanation is given for the phenomenon by the Syracuse Standard, the paper from which we glean the above, but it is too evident that the men engaged in digging the well must have struck a subterranean drug store. It was their misfortune that they tapped the castor oil tank instead of a bar rei 01 tnas aeucious liquiu waicu mey j sell over in Iowa for medicinal and me- I chanical purposes only.?Peoria Transcript. m ' m A paper chimney fifty feet high haj I been erected in Breslau. WIT ANT) HUMOR. A "chin-holder" has been invented. T Tn fr\ n r* of aIt* infon/io/l "frk^ U LUV1 WUUUUViJ I IV 10 liVW aiawunavn* ?w* Congressmen. It is designed for violin players. "Your little daughter is the best child I ever knew," said one lady to another, adding almost immediately, "for an only child."?Harper's Bazar. Did yon ever notice the cold thrill of ' horror that runs through a social party '> when a would-be funny man gets up to cripple a comic song??Fall River Advance. A little 4-year-old while coming down stairs was cautioned by his fond mamma not to lose his 'balance. "And where would my balance go to," he queried, "if I lost it?" ; Poverty has its cares, my son, but then wealth has its scares too, more ; thatf poverty, ten to one. Look at the panics on the money marked every week! Did yon ever hear of a financial < panic in an alms-bouse? ? Brooklyn . Eagle. -- . ~ Landlady? "Do you find your steak tender, Mr. Dnmby? If not I will " Dumby (who was wakened at ? o'clock that morning by the cook pounding)? "Er?it might be well to let the cook hit it a few more times. I think."? New York i-un. "So Mr. Blank was here to-day?" Servant?"Yes, sir." "And you told him what I said, I suppose?" "Yes, sir." "Did iic take umbrage?" "I didn't noticc, sir; but if he did he'll brm<? it back. He's a very particular gentleman, you know." This uncomplimentary but characteristic epitaph by Barns has just beea found in Dumfries: Beneath these soda lies drunken Rhodes, what ne'er was 1 1 . I 1 11 1 1!I n. . 1 Kennea 10 aruiK catua water, use ciacs o' mill the whisky gill inspired his tongue wi' endless clatter. A very fearful accident ocourred to a gentleman while leaving the train at Denison. His pocket was picked of $17.50. The sickening feature of the . accident is to be found in the fact that the money w.-:s intended-for the purchase of a bonnet for his wife. " A collar and a necktie-fastener has been invented by a California man. That's well enough; butj if he will go ' to work and invent a device which will prevent his back collar-button from wandering off when it is most wanted, he will do mankind a service.?AU Sorts. Those people comprising the inner circle of what terms itself- society, have issued an edict, so 'tis said, against beards and mustaches. They consider such appendages to a man's face vulgar and commonplace. It is too much like the soldier and the brigand, they think. ?Middletown Press. "Do you want to see me turn a flapjack?" asked a Passaic young lady of K/if l%ocV?fn! Inrnr rrm rln UV/l UtiOUlV41 IV ? a M J VU UV) WV/AAAW into the other room." And then he ' grabbed his hat and was half way home before he realized that she wanted him to go into the kitchen and witness an exhibition of her domestic ability.? New York Dispatch. First Dude?"Aw, Chawley, my dear boy, what a wattlin' pace you are goin' this mornin'." Second Dude?"Aw,' yes, Fitznoodle, my dear fellow. Don't cietwain mc. I'm hard at work. This is the busiest season of the year to me." "Joy Jove. Unawiey, wnat arc you doin'"?1' "I'm dodgin' my creditors."? Philadelphia Call. "I saw your advertisement for a young man of good address," remarked one of the applicants for a vacant position, "and I thought I would call iu and reply. My address is Boston, Mass., and if that isn't as good as the best I should like to know where you will find a better one."?Burlington (VZ.) Free Press. n nnok maker witnesses in the street the accidental death of an acquaintance. He sets off to break the news to the widow. He is charged not to tell her too abruptly. At the house he asks for "Mme. Widow X." "I am Mme. X?" says the lady, "but T. am not a widow.'7 "Would you like to bet on it?" responds the bookmaker.?Wafted from France. Tf moo incf offor flff " snarled Romeo, "if we shall know each other in heaven.1' 'Til remember you, of course," replied Juliet, with tender emphasis, "but of course I couldn't knowyou without meeting you." And a period of silence as long as a centennial poem crept in the room. Romeo kept.thinking about one thing and another and one thing and another and one thing and another.?BurdeUe. Dr. Carver finished his task of hitting 60,000 balls in six days. The achievement has had no perceptible effect upon business as yet The doctor used a i-iflo ?n liittinor tlio Tf Vl O/? corraled the balls into a pile and used a baseball club or a brick he might have hit them all in one day and- had five days to spare to devote to digging cellar or sawing wood or something that way- But we donTt suppose he ever thought of that.?KorristowriHer~ aid. William C.Hudson tells a story about Mr. Tilden: "One day he said to his physician, 'Doctor, I can't stand that medicine you are giving me; it hurts my siuuiuuix. ~\j, uut jir. iuucu, medicine is doing a great deal of good.' 'I presume so, but I shall not take it hereafter-' 'I'm sorry to hear you say that; but if you arc determined"on this course I would warn you earnestly that you must stop using it' gradually.1 You doctors don't know anything. I quit using that medicine three weeks ago.'" Youthful Inquire?.?A statesman is one who states: and the Speaker is a man who sits in a high chair in front ol the statesman, and decides who shall state and who shall not state. The Speaker is provided with a mallet and a 7 loose board; and, when a statesman states too long or states scything derogatory to tiie party \o wmcn tne 1 Speaker belongs, it i-;- the duty of the latter to pound \ igorously with the mallet on the board.. The Speaker dislikes to hurt the statesman's feeling, but he has to do his duty.?Columbus Dispatch. "The chloral habit," says the Baltimore Underwriter, "is steadily on the ! increase, not only among sufferers from constant insomnia, but among persons i subject to milder forms of nervous irrij tation, to the strain and excitement of speculative ventures, or to the wear and tear of late hours and fashionable dissipation. This nepenthe is more seductive to people of refinement than the juice of the poppy; and habitual surrender to its domination is harder to break than the opium habit To the nsual questions in the application for life insurance as to the use or abuse of alcoholic drinks, tobacco and opium may well be added scrutiny as to hydrate of chloral, for many persons who never use uns iormcr wuuiu to plead guilty to more or less frequent recourse to the latter." | i .