The Fairfield news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1881-1900, June 03, 1885, Image 1
* > , 'jum,
*
p ===="r~~ WINNSBORO, S. CM WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4, 1885. '
Bic'e a Wee, and Din.na Fret.
i " Is the road very dreary?
&& Patience yet!
Sw Reft will be sweetor if tbou art aweary,
^ And after ni;rht cometh the morning cheery.
Then bide a wee and dinna fret.
The clouds have silver lining,
Don't forget:
And though he'6 hidden, still the sun is shinf
Courage! instead of tears and vain repining,
Just bide a wee, and dinna fret. .
With toil and cares unendingArt
beset?
Bethink thee how the storms from heaven descending.
>Snap the stiff oak, but spare the willow bending.
And bide a wee, and dinna fret.
Grief sharper sting- doth borrow
- From regret:
m But yester<*?y Is pone, and shall its sorrow
r Unfit us few the present and the morrow?
Nay; bide a wee, and dinna fret.'
An over-anxious brooding
Doth beget
A host of fears and fantasies deluding;
Then, brother, lest these torments be intruding.
Just bide a wee and dinna fret. ,
^ | ?Every Other Saturday.
r ?
OX A GATE FOST.
CHAPTER L
Ambrose Xettleson has what he thinks
is a valuable manuscript He thinks so,
K doubtleis. because it records a part of
his life. One night recently, while I
was a* his house, he brought out the
manu?*fipt and read it to me. Although
I did not ask permission, yet I i
do not feel that I violate his conndence
t by giving.&s nearly as i can rcaj^moer,
k the intents of the paper wliich he
tre:?-a rod with such affection:
Tie prospect was net cheerful. I
was riding a horse across a country
whose loneliness was as deep as a sigh
which bespeaks the long absence of
some one. Night was coming on and
a storm was gathering its forces. A
Wr frightened owl flitted past me, screamr
r ing in my face. The time of year was
k when nature' hesitates whether to conjpr
tinue winter or begin spring. My
' * horse almost shoqk me off when he
stopped and shivered. The owl screamed
in my face again. Dead leaves, for
a momer t would whirl before me, and
' ' 1 i *1? k
mea iau, seauereu suu wru aa tuuu^u
they had. by an angry hand, been
swept from their long."damp rest, only
to be mocked. "What a dreary,
dreary place it is!"-I mused. "I feel
as though something terrible is going
to happen. The air, just before the
great agitation which mast come,
J seems quivering in its desire to bear
the sound of murder, murder! As I
ft Live, yonder is light. It is possible
Ilk :hat I shall receive shelter?'1
gl? Urging my horse forward, I soon
reached a small house, near- the sumOA
rnit of a desolate peak, overlooking the
Arkansaw river. I dismounted near
the door?there was no fence around
V the house. My horse looked appeal.
imrlv at me and without asking per-'
r mission from any one within, I led the
animal to a stable close at hand and
took c?T saddle and bridle. As I was
returni^.r, the storm burst upon the
river. When I approached the door, I
heard a wail. 1 knocked and I heard
* the wail coming slowly toward me.
The door was opened by a girl scarcely
more than twelve years old. Her face
*?as the picture of despair. She said
j nothing, but pointed to a bed, upon
which lay an old man, gasping for '
breath. Approaching him, I saw that
he had but a few minutes to ilve. Tne
K girl knelt beside the old man. He
fc tried to put bis hand upon her bead..
Failing, ho looked at mo and I assisted
^ him. He tried to speak, but could
not. The girl sobbed frantically. The
rain poured down and the storm shook
the house.
"He will never get well!" she cried.
"My grandpa will die."
Yes, her grandpa would die. His life
had already passed away. The hand
^ lying on her head was growing cold.
|j| She looked at him and shrieked.
H What a night we spent in tiiat house.
H The storm howled and the rain fell until
nearly daylight. The girl, who I
saw was intelligent, with an impressive
face, said that her name was Munette
Loggemon, and that since ner earnest
recollection she had lived with -.he old
man who had spent the most of his
time, since she had begun to talk, in
teaching her.
"I have no relatives," she said in answer
to a question.
"Any friends?"
"No'friendj."
"You have neighbors?" .. _
"None. The nearest house is nearly
eight miles away."
1 knew not what to do. Surely the
situation was serious. Early at morning,
we buried the old man in the yard.
As best I could, I made a coffin of a
i trough which I found in the stable.
After the burial. I went out and found
i enough corn for my horse. I left Musette
at the grave, on which she had,
sobbing bitterly, thrown herself. .
"Where are you going, little girl?"
I asked when I" returned, still finding
her on the grave.
, "How can I go anywhere?" she
asked. "I have no friends, I told
you."
"You cannot remain here."
"I cannot go away."
"I will notTleave you here. You must
go with me. My mother has no little
girl. She will receive you."
Still lying on the grave, and without
looking up, she replied:
"I will go and work for my board."
"You will not have to work. When
T toll mv f oirf?nm<ts.nf>ea I
under which I found you, she will take
you in her arms. Come, get your
clothes. It is time we were leaving
here. See, the sun is shining beautifully.
It is a new day for you."
Without replying, she arose and
turned toward me. Ker face, even
aside from her grief, was so sad, and
her eyes wore a look of such tender apr
peal that even though she had relatives
I would have thought it my duty to
take her home with me. She went into
toe house ana soon reiuruea wun 3
small bundle.
"I haven't much to take."' she said.
4- "Grandpa and I were very poor, and 1
you see, having inherited his poverty,
I am poorer than ever."
I was not surprised to hear .her make,
such a remark, for I had discovered
that she never associated with children
and was consequently wise of her
age.
"You shall have some nice dresses
after a while," I replied.
"Pretty red ones?"
\ Tho child was asserting itself.
^ i.V J M
auu mue vucs.
She wept anew as we mounted the
horse?she seated behind me. As long
as we were within sight of the house
she said nothing, but when we had descended
.into the thick woods, she
4,I won't cry any more, if I can help
"Your grandfather most have been
?Pgl|fl^ "Yes. but he made me read many
HT>ooks that were very dull?great law
Rooks. I don't like them. "His eyes
ttjr many years have been so bad that I
had to do all his reading for him. He
wrote a book fall of curious things and
murd?rst but one day when he found
me read in 2: it, he took it away from me
and burnecl it up. It must" have been
bad and he must have been sorry that
he wrote it. What is your name?"
I told her, and expressed my surprise
that she had not sooner asked me.
"It was your place to tell me without
my asking,1' she said- "When I told
you my name, yoa should have told me
yours. Don't you see?"
I acknowledged the justice of her rebuke.
The day passed rather pleasantly,
with the exception of the influence of
the night before, which naturally
enough she could not dispel and which
[ omifd not keen from arisin? occasion
ally. We sat on a log and ate dinner,
and Munettels remarks gave me additional
insight into her close habit of
observation. When evening came, we
stopped at a farm house, where the sad
story of the little -girl awoke' such sympathy
that the kind-hearted house-wife
begged me to allow the child to remain
with her.
' Tf ic o nnoct-inn that she must d&?
cide," I rejoined. "What do you say,
Munette?"
"I am surprised that you should
ask me such a question," she replied,
approaching the chair where I sat and
taking my hand. "Would it not be
ungrateful in me to desert you so soon.
Or to ever desert you?"
^ "She's <pt more sense than an old
woman right now," said the host, adrtr^ssincr
his wife. "Our twentr-eisrht
year old daughter that married last
month ain't a patchin' to this girl."
"W'y, Jesperson," said his wile, in
mild censure, "Margaret ain't twentyeight
years old."
"She's mighty nigh it"
"An' besides that," continued the
woman, "she n ver had a chance."
"Didn't go to school three months
outen nearly every year, eh? What
show docs a'gul want," I'd like to know?
This little /ireetur, I warrant you never
? 1? A. ..L ..1 1}
a as oeen zo scqooj.
"Oh, yes, sir: My whole life has been
a school. The old house where I used
to live contains many Books. If you
want them you may go there and get
them. I shall neverjjo after them. I
could never re^d theca Bgaitt;"
"Well, blast, my, bnt^ons^if I don't
mosy up that waj^VTmuch of a
scholar^- but I "reckon I .can worry
through ,wjtfc. a lotrof them.1' - >
V> *, CHAPTER IL *?
?v \ s f !
Mv mother. Welcomed Munctfej.ahd"
when I related'4be sad - story jof jiow I
found her, tlwi-.'sympathetic .-Wyoman
took the child^ni-her arms aafkiassed
her. A - few days afterwards",'" when I
tcturnedTbomej after /a- sfiort\absence,
she Hashed'upon me_fc^'j^y.-red d?>s&
She was more of-a-child J&t
ever seen ?ix?reW?$an I ha.d ,-wffQ^hf
it possible for her to' become. My.
mother was delighted via We her inooeent
pranks, and I, for the first time,
lv*/SftA/) f Ua AV? lL?
M55CU IUC CiAAiu.*
"You have kissed me at last," she
said. "Is it because I look better in
thi$ dress?"
"It is because you look more like a
child. Before, you reminded me so
much of a woman."
"Do not women like to be kissed?"
I laughed and my mother, shaking
her head?I can see her gray hairs now
?said: "Ah, Ambrose, our young
girl has a very old head." ?
We sent Munette to school. The
teacher, a man who had the reputation
of being profound, met me one day and
said:
"Look hore, ilunette is the most remarkable
child I ever saw. She has.
read so many books and makes me
such wise observations that I am constantly
surprised. To tell you the truth,
I cannot advance her. Not' that I am
not intellectually able?ahem?But er
?because I do not think that at her
age it would be safe. . Therefore I
would advise you to take her from
school. I know the effect that too
much learning has on youth. * I know
hew narrowly I escaped."
When I spoke to Munette, she said,
That school is a very dull place. It isa
constant hum of arithmetic. I don't
like to cipher, as the children call it.
Fractions make my head ache and miscellaneous
example%?ake me sicL Let
m/> chulv at home."
I took her from school. She was a
devoted student, but was never so absorbed
that she was oblivious to the
little attentions which a woman of my
mother's age prizes so highly. Munette
grew rapidly and I was pleased to see
that she was daily becoming more
graceful.
CHAPTER III.
The .war came on. How natural it
is, in writing a story, to say "The war
came on;" but this is not a story, and
nothing can be more natural than
truth?although.it is said to be stranger
than fiction. Therefore, when I say
that the war came on, I intend that the
declaration should, have its full mean
t 1 - t__ *..11 _
tn<5. 1 iUIi. UUIUU mil .Ji pi 1UC. a nuo a
captain. My mother prayed; but Munet:c*
did not seem to be aftected.
"Good bye,1' she said. "War is one of
the incidents of civilizatiop, as well as
% feature' of barbarity. ' I know that'
you will do your duty, and that you
will not foreet the little girl whom you
once saw sobbing under the hand of a
dying man. When you return, I shall
be old enough to kiss you."
. I looked at her in astonishment.
Merriment sparkled in her eyes. "You
aonr use 10 kiss cniiuren, jv seems.
"Munette, you are strange. I oncesaid
that I did not kiss you because you
looked like a woman."
"Oh, yes, that is true. I thought
that you did not want to kiss me Decause
I was so smail. There now, captain,
don't swell up like a toad."
I turned away. She called me, when
I was about a hundred yards away and
said: "When you pass the big gate,
look on the right hand pest."
I did so and found the words. "I love
f/vrc " TTnrfor thtQ T wrote. "And I love
you."
I did not receive but one letter from .
Munette, and that might just as well
have been written by a professor of
geology, for its four pages were devoted
to a description of a lot of pebbles
she had found in a cave.
I returned home ragged and ill. Muuette
was delighted to see me. She was
so peculiar, though that 1 could notlell
whether or not she still loved mfe. It
seemed that she did not. for whenever
I attempted to remind her of it, she
fVi/? T.ikfi all true
VAiU4,0VV4 "'"*V '.'MVJVV..
lovers, I felt that without her my life
would be a blank. ' I spoke to my
mother concerning my trouble.
"She is a very strange girl, but I always
found her frank except when I
asked her if she loved you, and she replied
that the hawks had carried off
three of the dominicker hen's chickens."
One day, in passing the big gate, I
wrote on the post the following:
"Will you marry me?"
Two days afterwards I visited the
place and found the word "yes."
Without further communication, except
to appoint the time by "Post," we
were married. 1 di<l not find bet disposition
to be peculiar,' only in the intensity
of her love for me. "Why did
you treat me so?" I one day asked her"The
dorainicker has a great deal of
trouble with her chickens,"shereplied.
Shortly afterwards, when she thought
that I was not looking, she threw bajk
uci ucau auu
Traveler.
Buggy-Riding Made Easy.
A Williamsport g Lius claims to
have invented a bnsrgry that, like the
boy's whistle, goes itself?that is, it
doesn't require a horse to make it go.
It is furnished with two upright levers
in front of the seat, by means of which
the rider can propel it with great ease
six or seven miles an hour. If he has a
feminine partner, i.e can use one lever
and she the other. If the weather andscenery
are delightful, the riders can
be as deliberate as they please. Tln-v
tan 3to^> to rest, if they want to, under
a big shade tree without being compelled
to pull at the bit of au
impatient horse, or make their'selves
hoarse shouting "whoa" r>
him. The?new buggy won't, scare
or run away, wrecking itself and
ruining the feathers and finery of its
fair occupant. And there is no hor?e
with eyes to see and give away afiy
trifling improprieties that may be in/Inlornrf
ir> tft 'the UeW
*" r '
buggy do^n't cat, docsn t have to
be tubbed dwwri four times a day, '
doesn't want a new set of blankets
every fall, and a new harness and whip
once a year. In .short, the cost of the
buggy, which is about that of a modern
bicycle, is all the outlay required.
It is evident from this description
that the Williamsport invention tills a
long-felt want. When the new bug^y
has become popularized everybody
Lwill ride, of course, and livery-stablekeepers
with their vexatious bills, will
go out of fashion. Romeo, and Juliet,
as they take their daily drive in the
park, each working a lever of the new
vehicle, will be taking practical les.
sons in the art of workingin matrimonial
harness. If auv would-be Juliet
should prove too lazy to work her
lever, Romeo would understand at
once that he had better be looking for
a new Juliet with a more industrious
turn of mind. The ordinary riders will
ride for pleasure and go as slow or as
; .fast as their muscles and surplus ener|
gy dictate, instead of feeling compelled,
(vats now, to drive like Jehu lp order so
get their money's worth out of a hired
! norse or team., ~
| The only drawback to this delightful
picture of a possible era'in Which
i everybody can-take buggy-rides to his
^heart's content, is the fact that the inp
ventor has only perfected one of these
^self-acting buggies and charges an ad|
mission of 25 cents.to all who want to
see it.?Philadelphia Times.
Tripped Up by a Yahoo.
The other day, after having made a
! careful examination of our edition of
J Worcester (dated 1882, the latest issue)
and our copy of Webster's Unabridged
("dated 1881"), a book in which
1 wc Had-all confidence, and which heret
tofore has never failed us, we published
to the world the fact that the word
popularly pronounced "dy-namite"
should be, according to the best usage,
pronounced "din-amite." Both the
above works, as well as the new Imperial
dictionary, an English work,
agreeing in the matter, we felt that we
occupied strong ground in^ making the
announcement
"D.i*. oAnma fV>of Anr V*oncr txtqa
UUli Xb OVUiUJ ?Ut*V VU* Tt WW
not as strong as we thought it was;
and so we have been tripped up. And
by whom? Not by any world-renowned
orthoepist, not by a Knowles, not
by a Smart, not by a Richard Grant
White, not even by a Prof. Burtt; but
by a yokel, a bumpkin, a yahoo from
between the furrows on the Washington
county frontier, whom no one'
would dream of bein^ picked up by in
prthoepy; by Col. Chili Hazzara, editor
of the Monongahela Republican, who,
referring to our pronunciation of the
word, says, in a late issue, that the.
Leader had "better go down street
and blow in a dictionary. The proper
M-nnnnioatinn nf tho wnrH is r\V-Tl ?.mito
yiVUUUtVUV^VU V* V**V ? v? -
according to the iatestTintage of Webster
on a bridge."
Well, it is awfully galling to be corrected
by our rustic contemporary, but
"mevertheless, we went down street and
discovered that Editor Hazzard was
right* "Webster's Unabridged" (dated;l884),
without giving any reason
for the sudden flop, now gives the pronunciation
of the word with the 100?;
sound of the *4y," while Worcester ana
the Imperial still hold to the old style.
?Pittsburg Leader.
The Gay Mr. William Weeks.
As a gay deceiver, William Weeks, a
Long Island farmer, takes the cake.
I Some .time ago-William went to Freeport
and married a young widow who ;
owned a. good term. Everything passed
merrily for a time, when he steppe'd
over to Norwood and married another
widow, also scooping in another good
farm. He lived with number two
awhile and then returned -to number
nnp. -ATnlainincr his absence bv savins
that- he had been engaged in a lncky
speculation. The next day he went
back to number two and told her the"
same story. In a short tnrie the senior
I wife began to .watch him, and soon
j found him in his Norwood home. Willj
iam was equal to the emergen^-. He.
runaway, stopped in Brooklyn.;married
another widow, and escaped to
J'- ' tj. r- 4.u^4.
v,anaua- o.i IS pism mat iuu luuiuaiing
gallant is monopolizing" the widows,
and unless something is done
to check his carcer, he will gobble up
all the well-to-do women of the bereaved
variety to be fount in the circle
of his travels.?'Jllanta Constitution.
A Terrible Weapon of Defense.
If a pompous wiseacre tries to sit,
down on vou. ask him rapidly a few
?? /_11
questions iise uie ioiiowiu?:
What, if any. is the difference be-::
tween kf.i:ik and a caique?
What, if any, is the difference between.
Jacobins and Jacobites?
What, if any, is the difference between
the ear of Dionysus and the ear
of Dionvsius? " ,
How "do you'accent vagaryt'ccterie,
and survey? ^
How do you pronounce pronouncia
>. uuu; ?. . - * ^
What is the meaning of the phrase
to "bum your chuck?"
These questions will make it pleasant
for him.?t/o/m Swintori's Paper.
While there are in China hundreds of
thousandsof professional native haggars,
it is pointed, out as a singular bat
significant fact that not in California,
or anv of the Pacific States can there
be foand a Chinese bezgar - -
OLD NEWSPAPERS.
The Yarloafc-Usea to Which They Hay he
Pat.:
Old newspaper* are of more use than
would appear at a^first glance. We
subscribe to tie daily newspapers be
cause we mttstbe intormecr on an zne
affairs of the day. Then many think
the next . thing is to "relegate thpm to
the kitchen in-order to-provide-Kind-'
ling for the household fires, and itmnst
be confessed that Bridget-makes very free
use of them in that way.r-j t. - .
But ttuy.'sezve so. ipaa^BX^eU?ttt
purposes besides that it seems a pity to
kit Bridget fcaveftfll -sway, though she
may try to cotrrince-yon that it is impossible'
'fir get tbfc breakfast'without .
even usingthose ofth'e very latest date. .
It has been-, several .-James suggested
by economists-that newspapers can be j
mirfA tn tfttft tha t>Lace of blankets in I
guarding from cold,--and it is a fact
well worthy "of notice tfcatr tHey have
been prpyed-very satisfactory in making
ligfefe; convenieDt,' And warm bed
coverings .when otheK^aiuid.t^ be .had- ,
Travelers would do-wciL?to.-bear, this in
mind when'- iaff fi^m-'fne region ofhotels,
and no?;tlrrow their paper out
of the car window,"orleavc it on their
seat in cfaangmgcars, -ior incre is^no .
toiling J^w?se&H t .
emergency ta-^ard^ft'eaWi As_a preventive.of,that:f^alr^is<?!9C^:PQ6anio-,
nia,
a folded newspaper laid beneath
the outer clothingacroas the chest, is
said to >beinf&Uible.
. This tas been confirmed to the writer
by the testimony of an individual
whose avocations kept him constantly t
exposed to all weaibers, night and day. He
was a resident of a country village,
a perfect type of a hearty, strong,
vigorous man, and .lie accounted for
1_- V A. L lit. i. -1L L J* ?
i l+li nnfmtf hefo nrlinrr Uia
iliS iUUU3b UCiUVUi
exposures, by saying that, although inheriting
consumptive tendencies, he
had been able to resist-them through
the simple precaution of always weariug
a newspaper folded over his chest
under his coat.
As a preventive of cold feet, a piece
of newspaper folded in the sole is quite
equal to, if not so elegant or so expensive
as cork ' or lamb-skin soles,
being light, soft, and easily renewed.
If you wish to test the power of a
newspaper in excluding cold, try tacking
one, doubly folded, between your
winHrtw flnf? vnp" .,^and of r>lants. and
see how nicely they will be protected,
and ho# frosty the Yrindow will consequently
be.
Newspapers will in the autumn, be-'
fore severe black frosts come on, effectually
protect greenhouse plants, before
you take them iip, from cold and wind.
The writer remembers once -driving
up about dusk to a country place ana
being startled at seeing what looked
like ajjlatoon of ghosts drawn up in
white array before the house, whioh
turned out to De, on closer inspection,
rows of tender plants all tied tip in
newspapers to protect them from the
sudden frosts incident to the season,
that in ouc night might cut them all
down. Wo have known tomato plants
protected in the same way, aud made
to ripen in the open garden much
longer by this inexpensive, easy pre
caution within everyone's reach. ;
Old newspapers are admirable as
floor coverings under carpets, or even
KnrAAd under Kensinarton squares, re
taining all the dust, which neither remains
in the carpet nor sifts through
to the iioor; they can be so easily removed
that it is a great saving to use
them in this way, especially as, the
dust wall shaken out, the papers are
equally serviceable for kindling purposes
afterward, so can do double duty
besides the legitimate one of heralding
the news of the day.
Weather strips are now almost universal,
as well as double windows, for
securing warm rooms'; but when*, as it
is the ease in some old-fashitfned coun
iry LIUlibCS, i uvj die uuii yiut.uiauH/,
newspapers can supply the deficiency
very well by biriiig cut in long strips,
neatly folded over, and stuffed in theinterstices,
and so most effectually
exclude .the cold outer .air.
Old .newspapers are excellent to clean
windows with. Slightly, damped,
then rubbed till clcar, they serve tie
purpose much better' than even linen
clotn, for there is no lint to rub off.
- Newspapers wrapped abound the feet
under the stockings are an effectual
protection against mosquitoes as, with
all their virulence, they can not bite
through paper.
Old newspapers are faithful mirrors
of the past. As they increase in age
the very advertisements become curious.
Therefore, those who have no
use for the modern newspapers in all
the various ways we have pointed out
must find intellectual profit in storing
them away till the time when some circumstance
may drag them forth from
their long-forgotten hiding-places to
claim an interest in human eyes which
perhaps they neyer had to such an extent
before.
Illustrated papers are very useful in
adorning tne wans 01 rooms, covering >
:np unsightly wallpaper or obnoxious
holes, the delight of children as well as
their instructors, affording gleams of .
cheerfulness and pleasure in else
gloomy apartments. They are of such
infinite variety, too; with their lovely
illustrations of poems, natural history, "
and comic sketches, as well as portraits
of beauties and notabilities, that
they continually educate the public
taste and give" the impecunious a
glimpse of real art they can not else
afford?Harpers' Bazar.
Came Within One Of It.
.* Cady Herrick tells a good one of a
scamp who was arraigned at the last
term of .the Court of Oyer and Terminer
upon the charge of bigamy. Having
no defense, the fellow pleaded guilty,
and in response to the query of the
-Court as to what he had tg say in mitigation
of his offense replied:
"I want a. good, liberal, easy sentence.
I pleaded guilty and saved the
county tho expense of a trial and
nncrht to be let down 8asv."
"How many wives did you say he
had married?" the Judge inquired,
turning to Herrick.
"Four," -replied the gentleman.
"Goodness gracious!'* exclaimed the "
Judge, I should think he had been
punished well enough already.
"Yes, indeed," replied Herrick with
an air of a.man who knew whereof he
spoke, and which carried conviction .
with it; "he has been pretty well
punished."
"That being the case," responded
the Judge, "we will deal leniently with
him. Prisoner, you are sentenced to
the Penitentiary for the term of one
year."
"Thanks, your Honor. The-sentence
meets with my approval and suits me
to a tee, and it ought to," he remarked
to a bystander. "I could have got five
years, but I got ono off for every wife.
Why, if I had married five, I'd been
acquitted; but Til call the turn next
trip," and he went philosophically to
prison.?Albany Express.
The Gambler.
The gamblers of New York have led
a precarious, and on the whole wretched,
existence for two or three years
past. Their places hnvg been raided
by both the public and private police,
J I. - i.L _ i * _ r i.1. t z _ I
aau wneuever me aumuie 01 iue jaw 13
decided toward tbcm tliey read the
handwriting: on the wall and tako a
holiday. Perhaps the least-satisfied
countenances to be seen around our hotels
and public resorts are the old gamblers,
who long had complete immuni
ty, ana to tnisaay preserve a litrie >ioia
on the police and even the police justices.
Cases are not infrequent of gamblers
sitting on our minor benches or
being clerks of the courts. Hence a
certain latent sympathy in the prosecution
of these men, and even on their being
surprised. ' The best thing the
gambler can do to satisfy himself is to
get oxjtr of the business altogether. The
occasional funds of money he raises by
his dangerous and outlawed trade hardly
ever stay "by him, and a gitad deal of
it goes to -the police and the lawyers
and othejf parasites who hold vice to be
their nata^l-^nker and side patron.
Our hotel^are alio often indifferent to
the presence "of the gambling commun
ity right among; their guests, and itr
seems tQ me to be a poor thing to do
with a guest who comes to town wit>k
monfey which lie might otherwise spend
in the proper office of hospitality to allow
him-to be taken in hand by some
gambler's roper in and escorted to
some place in the neighborhood wLere
he can be picked clcan and has to draw
his check, more cr less uncertain, to
j>ay his bill and get speedily out of
town. .
A sufficient number of gamblers will
devastate any territory on the globe.
.Long island uity, tnougn it is tne capital
of 2, county and with the seat of justice,
has been kept back notwithstanding
long-witted men like Eliphalet Nott
thought.;it had such admirable opportunities'Jfchat
a half century ago or more
they made investments there for the
benefit -.'of .Union college and mother
trusts. The gamblers found. it a con- :
venient spot to halt between the rows '
of tracks and the city, and in a little
while the whole city government became
the creature of gamblers. Defalcations
began, violence was not uncommon,
and the tone of that suburb
began to grow lower. There is hardly 1
an old racing track on Long Island or
in the general vicinity of New York
which has not collapsed and left'be-'
hind it, a long pile of old board fences (
and some old hotel over which fate and
ghosts seem to hover. There are at
least two such courses on JLong island,
and in every old city their vestiges are
to be seen; and the Elysian fields in
Hoboken seem never to have recovered j
from the gamblers' visitation there half
a century. In truth, there can be no
occupation so unworthy of a-rightthinking
man as to live by temptation i
and advantage, refusing work, being J
in perpetual watch for men of means or |
youths with legacies or prospects, and ,
thus corrupting at tne iountains or so- ;
ciety lives meant to be fully lived out
with credit and composure. A man
who expects to play this kind of a game- ;
and be a permanently happy man is
fortifying his wretched conscience with 1
apparent examples in regular life which .
he wftl 'find on investigation he has J
never*?nderstood.? New York Tribune. (
Powerful Medicine.
As a physician, the colored gentle- 1
man has not taken high rank. Doctors
who graduate with honors refuse to
consult with him. They question his
skill and spurn. his roots and herbs.
Sometimes, though, the effect of his '
medicines must be acknowledged. Sev
erai aays ago, an oia negro wuuse suu
had been taken violently ill, sent for
Dr. Simeon, a man wjios'e complexion 1
is a perfect harvest of midnight,. but
who believes that there is in the woods 1
a remedy for every disease. ' "How is ;
he, doctor?" asked the father when the
physician had examined the patient.
"Sick, sah."
"Does ver think that he is danger- :
ous?" .'
"Eberybody is dangus, sah. Dan- "j
gus when he'am' sick; dangus when he :
is." !
The doctor gave the boy a dose of 1
medicine and went away. Early the 1
fV?rv r\ovon f CAHOrlit: t.llA '
liUVb bug ?**V
physician and with an air of mingled '
grief and anger, exclaimed:
. "Yer ole scoun'rel an' hippercrit,
yer've killed my boy!" 1
"Who hab?"
"Yesse'f, yer olc rattlesnake. He
died in about two hours arter yer gin :
him dat stuff.1'
"Ole man, I sees dat yer doan know [
nuthin' 'bout de heterogcnousness o'
dat boy's unsophisticated pluro-nerv- ;
onsnpsft. F,f 7 fi.-nlprit.pr mn him dat
medicine yistidy, he woulder died las'
summer." ...
Tlie old man, after a few moments'
reflection, said: "Doctor, I hopes dat
yer'li 'scuse de ignunce o' er ole man
whut ain1 got- er horry high edycation.
Good mawnin', s-u."?Arkansaw Traveler.
. .
m i m
The Horrible Kazoo.
On last Monday a nice little boy pur.
chased one. His father is a highly respectable
man, a church member,"and
all that, who resides in Woodside. On !
Wednesday he came here a perfect
mental wreck. Talked awfully; said 1
had ruined everything, broken up his
home, wrecked the family fireside 'circle.
and carried on so that ! thought I
should have to send for the police' ambulance.
From a neighbor I' learned
that the boy had done it all. He went
out into the yard first and practiced.
In a few minutes the watch-dog, which
the neighbor said had a voice of wonderful
power and elasticity at* night
was dead. He split his throat in a vain '
endeavor to equal the notes of the kazoo.
As the boy kept on practicing
and struck new discords, the boards
which composed the back fence began
to warp, and finally curled up in agony
?*1*? jJrt f A?_rvanriTr rtoilo
>Y iiilC L/ilU IIUUU3 UX Lilt? uuu4?
ached. The boy, after getting well up
in running the scales, entered the
house, and the minds of the family
were wrecked. The man has sued for
damages, and says if he is expelled
from church it will be my fault.?Newark
K*,ws.
^ , || I
One of the most startling projects of
the times is to illuminate the Atlantic '
Ocean by means of electric lights? :
actually to make "a path of silver i
light" across the water from the banks
of Newfoundland to the shores of Ireland.
Ten vessels are to be anchored
at a distance of 200 miles from another
in a straight line, each riding at "a
mushroom anchor, which permits the
vessels swinging around wi-th the tide
without fouling her anchor." These
light ships are also to. be connected together
and to the shore by an clectric
cable, and be able to send messages to
any "part of the world.
- i
i
Smuggler's Devices.
"You will be .surprised to hear of the
curious assortment of dutiable articles
that are intercepted in the steamship
mails from foreign postcifices," said a
prominent oLiicial of the custom house
to a reporter for the Iscw York Nomina
Journal.
"The post is a favorite medium with
persons in Great Britain, France, Germany,
and other countries for shipping
presents to friends in theUnited States.
The sender? do not think of the duties
to be paid when they forward their
packages, but under the customs laws
and regulations presents of merchantable
value are classe l as dut'able, like
goods imported in the regular way.
Tradesmen in London, Paris, Berlin,
and other European capitals use the
mails pretty freely to send samples and
goods of small bulk to American customers.
"Ladies find an easy, cheap, and
safe way of putting into letters and
newspapers articles of fashion, knickknacks
and mementoes from the old
world. The mails are also used for intentional
smuggling, but it is some
times difficult to distinguish between
smuggling and legitimate importations.
Diamonds, watches, the precious stones
and jewelry of all kinds are intercepted
by Mr. J. M. Wilson, of the postoffice
bu cau. Not Ion** ago a package
which was directed to a Maiden
lane diamond-dealer was found to contain
several thousand dollars' worth of
uncut diamonds. He paid $800 duty
on them. Hundreds of packages containing
cat'sieves, nrbies, cameos, intaglios,
emeralds, and sapphires sufficient
to stock a good sized jewelry
store are constantly received.
"Laces, kid gloves, silk stockings.
s.lk handkerchiefs, and other light articles
are enclosed hi newspapers and
pamphlets. '1 hey are inclosed so that
it is hard to detect them. A pair of
silver sardine tougs <roing to California
was recently found liiddea in a
package of pamphlets. In an English
newspaper were discovered ladies' silk
stockings, one blnck and one red. Ac
cording to the revenue law tkese might
be taken as sanapies .and entered free.
A trick was suspected and the articles
were detained. The next steamers
mail contained a newspaper addressed
to the same person. In it were folded
one red and one black silk stocking to
match the others. The lady to whom
they were addressed iived on Murray
Hill. She was sent for and paid the
duty."
'J he genial official also told the Jour-,
nal reporter that old bibles and books
were used to send watches and other
jewelry, the leaves being cut out and
spaces hollowed out to hold the smuggled
articles. One book arranged in
this way disclosed, on being opened.
tnree goia Draceieis, two waicn cnams,
two lockets, a set of sleeve-buttons, fire
gold pins, .and two necklaces. This
collection was on its way to a lady in
Cincinnati. It was appraised at ?334.
One mail will bring the lirst part of a
book and the next mail the rest of it,
but this trick for getting books in free
is rarely successful, and many authors,
slergymen, and other professional men
iiave come to grief in their efforts to
sccure valued volumes at a slight cost
About the holidays the mails are
heavily burdened with dutiable goods,
rhe advantages of putting goods
through the postofiice over the regular
ivay of importing is that no brokerage,
warehouse, cartage, or entry fees are
required.
Jokes That Are Bad.
A man entered the bank the other
day and said he had a million dollars
which he desired to place on deposit:
that the money was coming to him
from Kentucky, where he had it invested,
bat as the parties who had the
money had no further use for it and
declined to pay interest he wished to
place it on deposit, as he only wan' od
to use one hundred thousand for himself
at present The man talked in a
business-like way, but it only took a
moment, for Major Harrington, the
cashier of the bank, to discover that
the mail was unbalanced. He told
him that they were not prepared to receive
and become responsible for so
large a sum of money. "Well, what
can I do with it?" asked the man. The
cashier told him to scatter it through
the country; that there was a great demand
for money, and it could readily
be loaned. After a moment's reflection
the man concluded he wonld do that
On inquiry it has developed that the
man was a farmer in Crescent Township
who had invested extensively in
lottery tickets, and the boys, learning
of this fact, took advantage of bis weak- ,
ness, and wrote him letters informing '
. f j j ;
aim 01 H16 guuu 1UC&. Jii uiawiug ik 1VLtune,
inclosing bogus checks and drafts,
which he exhibited at the bank. This
seems to have completely unsettled his
mind, and he now imagines himself a
millionaire. The boys, who thought ;
only to play a joke, have indeed mad? 1
a serious business of it, and the friends
of the unfortunate victim attribute to 1
them the cause of his aberration.?
Watseka (111.) Times.
A. Dog With a Memory.
A laftAv nompr n-Ati ??mm?nsin tlift
Jutterson Market Police Court the other
day lor the owner of a greyhound.
The carrier said the dog always attacked
him on his rounds through Bleecker
street.
Soon after the postman went away
the owner of the animal appeared in
court with the dog. The brute, he
said, was worth $100. According to
its master the greyhound was kicked
x.
OV a postman wmie u pufFJ* uuuaiv,
and although years have eiapsed since
then, the dog cannot now see a grey
uniform without evincing a strong desire
to attack the wearer.
While in court another postman
came in to deliver the Justice s mail,
and the dog was with difficulty
restrained from jumping on him,
but when Officer Murray stepped
to the carrier's side the dog became
quiet This, the owner said,
showed the dog's respect for a blue
coat, which it had been trained to respect
as representing law and order.-?N.
Y. Herald,
A Rnotnn lorlv wild k r><">W }? Xf?OT
Orleans, went by the way of the river
to the Exposition. On the boat was a
party^>f four young giris and a matron,
all strangers. One of the young girls
gazed earnestly at the Boston lady and
then said: "Please excuse me,madam,
but what, is the name of the shawl you
Lave on?" "It is an India shawL"
"And what did it cost?" "About $2,
OOO.'' "Madam, will you be so kind as
to let me show it to my companion?
Neither they nor I have ever seen an
India shawl before." The lady kindly
agreed and the girls were made happy. <
?New Orleans licayune. ,
Mexican chamber "maids" are, it is
said, invariably Indian boys.
Rich Men's Wiv<&.
Ths big society people are not all
the big millionaires. In fact, the
princes of finance do not enter society
at all, and their representation in the
social circle is feeble at best. The very
rich families keep in the background
in fact, if indeed they do net gradually
gravitate into retirement. .
tl. ?i 1 ii. ? rr 1 ^,1. ?
j.ue viiiy uue ui iuc rauuciuuio vyuu
cuts any brilliant social figure is Mrs.
Frederick Vanderbilt She is gay and
enjoys the world.
"She incurred the displeasure of old
man Billy," said a prominent New
York society man to a reporter, "for
being much older than Fred when she
married him. But she controls and
guides her young husband and keeps
him out of the scrapes the other boys
have got into."
"Then there is a division in the family?"
"So far as Mrs. Fred is concerned.
The old man doesn't like her and she
doesn't like the old man, and neither is
backward in showing it."
"She takes charge of her husband,
you say?"
"Yes, and manages all his money
for him. The result is, he is the only,
oue of the Vanderbills. who hasn't
been played for a sucker in Wall
street"
"She must be a smart woman?"
rc rAn Vv/if An if "
UUV M T VU 1^4/ VU 1W
"Then why docs the old man dislike
her?" '
"Because she's smarter than he is
himself. He remembers that the Commodore's
wife was much older than
he, and that she led him to fortune.
Billy objects to the fate that keeps the
Vanderbilts in leading-strings and led
around by 'she nose by women, however.
handsome or accomplished, or
smart."
"But most of the millionaires trace
their success back to the wives of the
founders of their houses, don't they?"
"No, they don't if they can help it,
but it's true all the same. The Commodore's
wife showed him Low to make
money and save it, sixpence at a
time, before he had a bank account;
old John Jacob Astor was simply the
agent of his wife, who had the business
tact of the' firm. The millionaires
were made rich by their wives, and in
every instance they were older than
their husbands."
"Then what is the matter with King
William?"
' "He is sore because Fred has struck
fck -fomilir fM/lifiAn or*/"?
bUV iMUillJT M UUUiUU, UUU VsVS* Vt-LXAg t>v
the rules, is going to build up a fortune
as big as the original without his
aid."
"He regards Mrs. Fred, then, as a
sort of rival ?"
"You're grasped the subject The
old man is jealous."?New York Letter.
? . m ?
Flashing Fire from his Scarf-Pin.
Afrvely young ruan with a red. mustache
entered a Nassau-street eatinghouse
yesterday and took a seat He
wore a black neck-scarf, into which
was thrust an cdd looking pin. A pretty
waiter-girl came up, and while brushing
away the crumbs from behind the
guest asked for his order.
' "You may bring me some Boston
baked "
- The young woman did not hear the
conclusion of the sentence, for a brilliant
light flashed from the odd scarfpin
and frightened her so much that
she nearly fainted. The young man
glanced up with a look of mila sur?
-3 ?tj. ? a. ?
pnse, aau saiu: \ajre ^uu i&iutr
The waitress hurried off to the
kitchen. The head of the house, a
man whose scanty gray hair and full
beard are well' known to those who attend
the up-town temperance meetings
Sunday afternoons, then next approached
He put the pepper bottle
back in the caster, picked up a doughnut
from the floor, and was about to
make an observation upon the superiority
of his squash pies, when fire
again flashed from the young man's
scarf-pin.
"What?wha?what is the matter
with your neck-tie?" he stuttered,
looking at the young man in a startled
manner. "It was on tire just now."
i<r\ t 11
KJf X LllilC a 2141 xuUJL
mured the latter, with a smile. "Any
trouble with it now?"
"No, I can't see that there is, but?"
Hie fire again became luminous and
shone with a brilliancy never equaled
by any diamond.
"It's an electric-light on a small
scale," said the young man. "I have
a little battery in my pocket By pressing
a button a current of electricity is
conducted to the pin, which contains a
small piece of-carbonized bamboo, and
the light is produced. Big thing, isn't
it?"?New Fork Tribune.
Alaska:
The Yukon river ia Alaska is so
Long, says Lieutenant Schwatka, that if
its source were at Salt Lake its waters
might empty into New York Bay, and
its mouth is so wide that New York
would be on one side and Philadelphia
on the other. Alaska has a coast line
?* - -- - * -11 4.1 A. _* _
greater man mac ox an me rest 01 me
United States, adding together the Atlantic,
Gulf and Pacific seaboards.
Alaska contains an area of 500,000
square miles?one-sixth the size of the
whole of Europe. It extends to Behring
Straits, or about thirty-five miles
from Asia. It has 500,000 square miles
of forest and can supply the world with
lumber for the next ten centuries. Her
seal, salmon and codfish crops excel
those of any other portion of the world.
It has a full supply of gold, copper and
iron mines.
The south side of Alaska has a climate
as mild as Kentucky, while the
north side has a climate as cold and
rugged as that found in the Arctic
Ocean, 25 to 50 below zero for three
long months. Alaska carries the model
* * - i-^t; I . 1
repuoiic so iar west inai ^auiornia aas
become the eenter of that republic. In
twenty-five years from date Alaska will
be one of the most active, prosperous,
go-ahead Territories in the country.
A Subterranean Drus Store.
Amonjj the latest curiosities in the
way of wells is one near Syracuse, N.
Y.," which is called the castor oil welL
A scum gathers on the surface of tho
water which looks, tastes and acts like
castor oil. Doctors may sigh for this
water, but children will not cry for it.
Iso explanation is given for the phenomenon
by the Syracuse Standard,
the paper from which we glean the
above, but it is too evident that the
men engaged in digging the well must
have struck a subterranean drug store.
It was their misfortune that they tapped
the castor oil tank instead of a bar
rei 01 tnas aeucious liquiu waicu mey j
sell over in Iowa for medicinal and me- I
chanical purposes only.?Peoria Transcript.
m ' m
A paper chimney fifty feet high haj I
been erected in Breslau.
WIT ANT) HUMOR.
A "chin-holder" has been invented.
T Tn fr\ n r* of aIt* infon/io/l "frk^
U LUV1 WUUUUViJ I IV 10 liVW aiawunavn* ?w*
Congressmen. It is designed for violin
players.
"Your little daughter is the best
child I ever knew," said one lady to
another, adding almost immediately,
"for an only child."?Harper's Bazar.
Did yon ever notice the cold thrill of '
horror that runs through a social party '>
when a would-be funny man gets up to
cripple a comic song??Fall River Advance.
A little 4-year-old while coming down
stairs was cautioned by his fond mamma
not to lose his 'balance. "And where
would my balance go to," he queried,
"if I lost it?" ;
Poverty has its cares, my son, but
then wealth has its scares too, more
; thatf poverty, ten to one. Look at the
panics on the money marked every
week! Did yon ever hear of a financial <
panic in an alms-bouse? ? Brooklyn .
Eagle. -- . ~
Landlady? "Do you find your steak
tender, Mr. Dnmby? If not I will "
Dumby (who was wakened at ? o'clock
that morning by the cook pounding)?
"Er?it might be well to let the cook
hit it a few more times. I think."?
New York i-un.
"So Mr. Blank was here to-day?"
Servant?"Yes, sir." "And you told
him what I said, I suppose?" "Yes,
sir." "Did iic take umbrage?" "I
didn't noticc, sir; but if he did he'll
brm<? it back. He's a very particular
gentleman, you know."
This uncomplimentary but characteristic
epitaph by Barns has just beea
found in Dumfries: Beneath these soda
lies drunken Rhodes, what ne'er was
1 1 . I 1 11 1 1!I n. . 1
Kennea 10 aruiK catua water, use ciacs
o' mill the whisky gill inspired his
tongue wi' endless clatter.
A very fearful accident ocourred to a
gentleman while leaving the train at
Denison. His pocket was picked of
$17.50. The sickening feature of the
. accident is to be found in the fact that
the money w.-:s intended-for the purchase
of a bonnet for his wife. "
A collar and a necktie-fastener has
been invented by a California man.
That's well enough; butj if he will go '
to work and invent a device which will
prevent his back collar-button from
wandering off when it is most wanted,
he will do mankind a service.?AU
Sorts.
Those people comprising the inner
circle of what terms itself- society, have
issued an edict, so 'tis said, against
beards and mustaches. They consider
such appendages to a man's face vulgar
and commonplace. It is too much like
the soldier and the brigand, they think.
?Middletown Press.
"Do you want to see me turn a flapjack?"
asked a Passaic young lady of
K/if l%ocV?fn! Inrnr rrm rln
UV/l UtiOUlV41 IV ? a M J VU UV) WV/AAAW
into the other room." And then he '
grabbed his hat and was half way home
before he realized that she wanted him
to go into the kitchen and witness an
exhibition of her domestic ability.? New
York Dispatch.
First Dude?"Aw, Chawley, my dear
boy, what a wattlin' pace you are goin'
this mornin'." Second Dude?"Aw,'
yes, Fitznoodle, my dear fellow. Don't
cietwain mc. I'm hard at work. This
is the busiest season of the year to me."
"Joy Jove. Unawiey, wnat arc you doin'"?1'
"I'm dodgin' my creditors."?
Philadelphia Call.
"I saw your advertisement for a
young man of good address," remarked
one of the applicants for a vacant
position, "and I thought I would call iu
and reply. My address is Boston,
Mass., and if that isn't as good as the
best I should like to know where you
will find a better one."?Burlington
(VZ.) Free Press.
n nnok maker witnesses in the street
the accidental death of an acquaintance.
He sets off to break the news to
the widow. He is charged not to tell
her too abruptly. At the house he asks
for "Mme. Widow X." "I am Mme.
X?" says the lady, "but T. am not a
widow.'7 "Would you like to bet on
it?" responds the bookmaker.?Wafted
from France.
Tf moo incf offor flff "
snarled Romeo, "if we shall know each
other in heaven.1' 'Til remember you,
of course," replied Juliet, with tender
emphasis, "but of course I couldn't
knowyou without meeting you." And
a period of silence as long as a centennial
poem crept in the room. Romeo
kept.thinking about one thing and another
and one thing and another and
one thing and another.?BurdeUe.
Dr. Carver finished his task of hitting
60,000 balls in six days. The achievement
has had no perceptible effect upon
business as yet The doctor used a
i-iflo ?n liittinor tlio Tf Vl O/?
corraled the balls into a pile and used
a baseball club or a brick he might
have hit them all in one day and- had
five days to spare to devote to digging
cellar or sawing wood or something
that way- But we donTt suppose he
ever thought of that.?KorristowriHer~
aid.
William C.Hudson tells a story about
Mr. Tilden: "One day he said to his
physician, 'Doctor, I can't stand that
medicine you are giving me; it hurts
my siuuiuuix. ~\j, uut jir. iuucu,
medicine is doing a great deal of good.'
'I presume so, but I shall not take it
hereafter-' 'I'm sorry to hear you say
that; but if you arc determined"on this
course I would warn you earnestly that
you must stop using it' gradually.1
You doctors don't know anything.
I quit using that medicine three weeks
ago.'"
Youthful Inquire?.?A statesman is
one who states: and the Speaker is a
man who sits in a high chair in front ol
the statesman, and decides who shall
state and who shall not state. The
Speaker is provided with a mallet and a 7
loose board; and, when a statesman
states too long or states scything
derogatory to tiie party \o wmcn tne
1 Speaker belongs, it i-;- the duty of the
latter to pound \ igorously with the
mallet on the board.. The Speaker dislikes
to hurt the statesman's feeling,
but he has to do his duty.?Columbus
Dispatch.
"The chloral habit," says the Baltimore
Underwriter, "is steadily on the
! increase, not only among sufferers from
constant insomnia, but among persons
i subject to milder forms of nervous irrij
tation, to the strain and excitement of
speculative ventures, or to the wear
and tear of late hours and fashionable
dissipation. This nepenthe is more
seductive to people of refinement than
the juice of the poppy; and habitual
surrender to its domination is harder
to break than the opium habit To the
nsual questions in the application for
life insurance as to the use or abuse of
alcoholic drinks, tobacco and opium
may well be added scrutiny as to
hydrate of chloral, for many persons
who never use uns iormcr wuuiu
to plead guilty to more or less frequent
recourse to the latter."
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