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" J-"" *^"" ' V "* " * ' -yZ-A 1- .^.y -v.. -I.- ^ ^'-r.^,v'i' l^y.^lL ' """ ^ ^ "' J~~^^'"""""!l ^^^:-"-':-":!:3:"'''' ^^|'j''glUj ?S : _ 7 WINNSBGRO, S. C., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1885. " ~ ??? _ ___ ' " " ' " ""' ' " " "~ L" ^ "- " -', --- ' 'n.n i _._. . _ .. ,, , -?, ? IB II " T"' F --- ? .. -.-.,r . _.L_o^j.y 1(.j. ,J . - - -K^DOW^ni "Winter Violets. Yon ask me why my eyes are Ailed with tears. "Whene'er I meet the violets of the Spring? You can not teil what thoughts of bygone years Those simple flowers have n?ver failed to bring. I bad a brother once: his grave is green. And long ego was carved the headstone's date: Bat fresh his memory still?T have not seen - One like him, sincc he left me desolate. I- For we 'were twins, and bound by ties so stronjr, sdSBk It seemed that neither couM exist apart; Yet bo was taken?Ahl what memories v-.' throng E'en to this day, on my bereaved heart. He faded from us in the Winter time, When ali the sun's warmth from his rays departs; Sometimes we fancy a more genial clime Mifrht- wstored him to our anxious T hearts. M J mother prayed him tell her was there j augrht That roid could purchase, or that love could WKi *<. rfesired; so tenderly she sought bring- back smiles upon the hollow cheek. Are there no violets yet?" he answered, low. We sent out messengers the country round: , ^.n vain, in vain, the hills were deep with snow. And cruel frost lay on the level ground. "Will not the violets come before the Spring?" Haw plaintive came the question?day by day; None could be found; it only served to wrin? ^ur loving hearts to answer always "Nay," At last one day he 'woke revived from sleep And smiling thanked us for them; but wo said It was a dream, for still the snovr lay deep. Not e'en a snowdrop dared to lift its head. Yet be averred their perfume filled the air!? "How could he doubt it??sure the flowers were nigh!" Alas! we knew no violets could be thereYet seemed they present to his fervid eye. So spake he. till he 6lept?he 'woke no more; Sweet brother, was it worthy of regrets. That the next morn, from distant parts they . bore AO our siiu. aoae, lae , "Was he by fancy happily deceived? Or were his dying senses rarefied. And actual knowledge blissfully achieved. Tasting: the fragrance as he softly died? I -wept while bending o'er his coffined rest. Hushing my anguish for a last caress: I strew'd the violets on his pallid breast-* Perhaps still conscious of their loveliness. CONGRESS. Pen Pictures of the House in Session? The Etiquette of the American Parliament. The national honso of reprcsenta tives! How few people in the United j States have seen it, writes a corre- I spondent to the Cleveland Leader, and how different is their idea of it from the reality. It is now 3 o'clock in the afternoon.* The house is in the midst of its daily session, and a din like that jtfC' a boiler-factory surrounds me in the press gallery and Qeariv _ as I can a photograph ofjge scenes fore me. It;is anxjgg^T r ^ house chambfj^g^r largest Ieg. ^f^Sj&HSFirrfche world. **600*?!^l(>Qr covers nearly one-fifth of acre, and its height from Hoot to V* roof is thirty-six feet. It looks the smaller for the hundreds that are in it. mr It is cotoposed of a great central pit W about fifteen feet deep, with deep galS leries rising from its top and going up|| irard by five graduated lines of benches K ' " -jnntil the fifth row stik^ihe buff and ccreen naTiazurfsfciaespJ'^^r wall. Those gallen^wHTseat 2,500 people, and the seats within them look down upon the bear garden of the arena in the s: r>e way as does those from which tha spectators watch a Spanish bull-fight. The walls of this. j)it are paneled in pink and velvety ^^.vered buff, and around each panel is a gilt frame fine enough to blind a Raphael or a Vandyck. In two of these panels are pict tures of historic scenes by Bierstadt, and on either side of the speaker's desk are pictures of "Washington by Vanderlyn and of Lafayette by Ary Scheffer. In this wall, opening out of the congressional pit, are arched ^door-holes all ornamented with carving and gold. Some of these lead to cloak: rooms, others to the barber shops of the eapitol, one to the house library, and six \ , to the outside corridors, where the lobbyists and other bores have to wait nntil their friends come oat to see them. Sitting In the press gallery you can i > ? ?j i i Look into tne cioas; rooms auu uai ucx shops. Judge Reagan, of Texas, is in the barber's chair at this moment, and his swarthy face shines out at me from the midst of white lather. There are a cro\ i of congressmen in the cloak rooms, and among them I see Tom Ochiltree's red face wreathed in smoke, and Judge Poland's royal countenance convalseci with laughter. The 325 overcoats and hats of the little great men who are performing below me hang in those cloak rooms. Some of them are very seedy-looking, indeed, md ant one out of ten would be woi ih stealing. The doors leading out of the house into the corridors are double. This is to keep the outs out and the ins in. Each is also guarded by two doorkeepers, able-bodied men who hold their chairs down in those wellwarmed halls for $1,200 per annum. Each of the gallery doors also has a doorkeeper, though there is little necessity for it, and the officers of the house, one thinks from their numbers, 4.1. ? 4.1.^ are more numerous uxaix iuo mcur tejfc to return to the bear pit. The MgJlery is the central one at the P is shut off from the other gal&a wire lattice work, ana is b eorrespondents solely. Fif flHMHH&elow these galleries is the Be house. It is 115 feet long Bride. If you could take the ?bu would see that it is made a space as wide as the front try city house, on which the ad clerk's desks are locatag by a gradation of four I it reaches the last half turns, where a flat floor om this to the wails. iter of this half moon, at ttfce hall, is the speaker's p a series of throe white ;s rising one above the oth st, about thre^teeUaign^s teraphers of congress, wiio pjarly. The tops of their >vered with navy-blue baize, ve mahogany drawers in ep their writing materials, bem are the reading clerks i, snobbish young men with ces, and above them on a am of white marble cut in | an elaborately-carved pul' speaker. This to-dav is Is, a dark-faced, rough-feawith no.whiskers, whocong-s tobacco as he sits on 5 presides over the house, la swinging walnut one. try hammer or mallet in Bthis he uses with energy Ksy crowd below, him in Weaker's desk, on a pe|||>nt marble, stands the Hia of the speaker's royalBundle of lictor's rods bound with silver cords, mounted on a silver globe and crowned with an American eagle. The members of the house sit on six half-moons of seats, rising and growing larger as they go backward, in front of the speaker. These seats are ranged on little ranges of rostums, and the ed<res of these rostrums are bound with shining brass, and are, as in the whole floor, carpeted with a rich carpet of red Brussels, on which are flowered figures of blue and yellow. On each ran^e is a row of seats and desks. The aesKs are smau anairs ox wmte woou, having lids covered with blue baize, which are raised whenever the owner gets at the $125 wortii of stationery he is allowed annually. Behind each row of desks is a row of white cane-seated office chairs, each on a swivel and each so fixed on springs that the sitter can lean back and put his feet on his desk if he will. This is a favorite pos ture with some congressmen, and I havo seen certain sleepy ones snore away so for hours at a time. Half of the chairs are oh the average empty, and some of them have bcetTknown tcf continue so for an entire congressional session. The owners are paid $5,000 a year to fill them. They draw the money and leave the chairs empty. The seventh and last half moon of chairs backs up against curtains or fire-screens of blue baize on frames of bright brass rods. Back of these screens there is room to walk about the house, and in the two corners at either en \ where the grate fires are, are halt a dozen c<->foc wVii/VK ore orAncrnllv filled bv """" J3 J lounging, sleeping, and smoking congressmen. Do congressmen smoke during session? Why, bless you, yes! I have seen ladies grow sick in the galleries from the vile odors of the tobacco which rose from the two-for-5 cent cigars glowing in the mouths of the socalled gentlemanly congressmen benoifh T cf><?n rnpmhers smokino' in their very seats, and have watched through the wreaths of smoke to catch the eye of the members behind them. They chew, too. These godlike congressmen do chew! They spit! and every desk has a spitoon of pink and gold china beside it to catch the filth from the statesman's month. It costs at least ?100 a year to care for the spittings of the house, and your average congressman will disregard the spittoon and spit upon the floor. They aro a neat set! The house at this moment is littered with scrans of paper like a garret. In front of the speaker's desk are scraps of letters, | torn i e-uspapers, and other litters, and | find under the desks of moslxAf "friA" ^^einbers tttp nature, 'j'jjjere is_s>g|)ittoon beside the chair of the speaker, for Mr. Carlisle is an inveterate chewer of tobacco, and his heavy jaws caress the cud as joyfully oc fliev <}<-? frAr*-f-r<irlft statistics. As far as order in the house is concerned, there is none. If an ordinary member has the floor a bedlam straightway rises. His fellow-members talk out loud to" each other, and each goes on with his business as if he was alone. Dozens of members are writing letters; others are mailing documents to their constituents; others are reading newspapers; some will be sleeping, and many will be talking and laughing. If a member wants to cross the hall he does not hesitate to rush between the congressman speaking and the speaker, and if another wauts a page, no matter if his brother congressman speaking beside him is in the midst of his finest period, he will clap his hands like the shot of a pistol. I have seen members sleeping when their next-seat member was speaking, and it is no uncommon thing for a member to be talking with not a single fellow-member listening to him. The speaker generally pays attention, but not always. He favors whom he pleases to a certain extent, and has the opportunity to display considerable power. The ceiling of the house chamber is a wonderful structure, made of glass and cast-iron. Through this the house is lighted?in the davtime bv the light - - - .t ^ oi day, ana during me evemug u> mteen hundred gas-jets, which are lighted by electricity. This ceiling is made in panel?, and these are painted and gilded, and each bears the coat of arms of one of the states of the union. Just over the entrance door of the house is a large, round-faced clock, which regulates the time of opening the session and which limits the time allowed to each speaker. It is a sober, judicial-looking old clock, and its face is a terror to the average long-winded congressman. Ju<t over the speaker's desk and opposite t lis clock under the press gallery is a gold eagle looking out over the sneaker's head, and apparently' ready to liv. On each side of it hangs a diugv American flag, covered with dust and discolored with age. The two doors in the wall3 at the sitie of the speaker lead to the members' retiring-rooms, in which are hung crayon portraits of all the speakers since the organization of congress. They cost the government $50 apiece, and some of them arc fairlv erood likenesses. This room is wall-furnished, [t has a number of sofas and easy chairs, with tivo doorkeepers at an expense of a couple of thousand a year to keep the barbarous public out of them. Such is a brief description of our national house of representatives. It is a fine structure, and 1 sometimes think far too good for the men who have the right to seats in it The old house was in the hall of the statutes, as it is now called, which lies i between this house chamber and the { dome. It was. in V that all of our J greatest efforts at oratory were made, ivhere Clay, Calhoun, aud Webster fought their forensic battles, and where for thirty-two years history was made. It accommodated seats for 232 members, and its galleries seated about 700 spectators. The members1 desks were of mahogany, and each had an armchair. The reporters to the extent of twenty were accommodated with sofas and desks, and the speaker had a drapery of rich crimson at his back. It was in 1857 that the house was moved into its present quarters, and in 1864 the old house was dedicated to its present use as a statuary hall. The average congressman considers himself a great man, but he is only a clerk after all. He is paid by the country to comc here and apportion out the public funds to the running of the government. Other men decide how much the government needs, and they furnish the congressmen the figures. The average member knows nothing about it, and the best member for the country perhaps is he who knows the least. We merely pay them ?v\ rlvc-iHo r\iiT mnnpr for ns. The fOV eminent is already organized. We have all the laws we need, and the United States, if it were not for the necessity of the formality of passing the appropriations, could do better without congress than with it Still we have it, and we have to pay for it. We pay well, too. The estimate for the legislative expenses for the current year is put at more than three million and a half of dollars, and the house of representatives alone will cost nearly j two and one-half millons. It takes $413,000 a year to pay the salaries of our senators, $1,800,000 to pay the mileage and salaries of the representatives, and the understrappers about VirmGO conitd cri*t. nf kiAV "VUJX ?VUI?.W fc}" S700,000 and more at each congressional session. ExperJci:ce of a Bo9fon GlrL Two well-known yor.njr ladies?first ! fnmilv nnf?s at that?hardened to meet in the boss dry goods store of the place the other day. One of them was making a purchase which only the day before she had said she didn't think she could afford to make. She was questioned by her fair companion as to why she had changed her mind. What followed is on the word of the store owner: "Jack called last night," said* the lady who had changed her mind, -"and by and by other company came in, and 1 ofter A wliilfi somnhodv sn<ro^sted a lit tie game, and we made up a board? j ante five, ten to come in, and twenty- I five limit. We played till 10, and I was 10 cents out, and I felt just awful. Some one said: 'Play one jack pot for a half and quit.' Everybody agreed. There were $5 in the pot before anyone opened. Jack opened for a half; the mean thins:, and all I had to draw to was it LUUU&l'V UK3U. II CLOU, u LUUV ll..ful? Well, everybody '-ame in, and X made up my mind I wasn't going to bo scared, and so I chipped along. Jack only took two cards. All the rest took three. I threw mine all away and took five. Wasn't I horrible? Jack bet a half. Everybody else saw him. I looked at my hand and raised this bet a half more. There were $8 in the pot. Jack says, 'What, on a five-card draw?' I said, **Yes.' Then he saw me and raised another half. All the rest drop ped out, the mean things, i tooc another peep at my hand and raised Mr. Jack another haif. 'See here, Jenny,' he said, 'if it was any one else I'd think they were giving me a blnff, but I guess you've got the beating of me, and so I won't invest any more. Take the pot. I opened on threo aces,' said Jack, showing 'em down, and I drew in the money. Wasn't it sweet in Jack to think I wouldn't bluff him?" "Perfectly sweet," exclaimed the fair companion. "What did vou hold?" ; " "I only had one little pair of deucos, I innocent manipulator of the jack^ft^- ^ "Wasn't it j\^st top^lovely for anything? So I thov^t I'd come oyer and Duy the goods to-day. Isn't it a bargain?"?Societyy$(^u'm7l'Of a Boston paper. , The Witching "Weed. Cigars were not known until about 1S15. Previous to that time pipes were used exclusively. Chewing had* been in vogue to a limited extent for some time, while snuffing dates back almost as far as smoking. The first package sent to Catherine de Medici was in fine powder. She found that smelling it iu the box affected her similarly to smoking, which led hsr to fill one of her smelling-bottles with the dust Her courtiers adopted the habit of snufing small portions of it rm the nostrils, and as the DreciOUS stuff became more plentiful the snuffing habit became more general, until at last a man or a woman was not considered as in proper form unless they snuffed. The custom became so common in England that a snuff-box was no longer a sign of rank- Then it was the law prohibiting the culture of the plant, except for medicine, was passed. About the same time a heavy tariff was placed on the imported article, thereby practically placing it beyond the reach of the common herd and giving royalty a complete monopoly. Since it first began to be used as a luxury there have been conflicting opinions in regard to its effects. The Somish church once forbade its use, and the Church of England declaimed against it. The Wesleys opposed it hotly, and at one time it was considered so unclean as to unfit men for membership in the Methodist church. Baptist ana rresoyterian ministers preached against it, and societies were organized to oppose the spread of the habit, but all to no purpose. Parents disowned and disinherited their children because they used it,and husbands divorced their wives on account of their having contracted the habit of smoki insIt is singular that when women get into the habit of smoking a pipe they prefer a strong one. There arc few men who have nerve I enough to smoke a pipe such as a woman Tikes when she has become a confirmed smoker. When thoy first begin ; miffing cigars they prefer them very mild, butfit is not long until they want them black and strong and lots of them.?Pittsburg Dispatch. Succeedcd Too WelU"Now," said the bride, "Henry, I want you to understand distinctly that I do not "wish to be taken for a bride. | I am going to behave exactly as if I was an old married woman. So, dearest,' do not think me. cold and unloving if I treat you very practically when there is anybody by." "I don't believe I can pass for an old married man. I am so fond of you that I am bound to show it. I am sure to give the snap away." "No, you mustn't. It's easy enough. And I insist that you behave iust like ' * - a J _ T\ ail oig raarnea men uo. jl>u juu hear?" "Well, darling, I'll try, but I know I will not succeed." Thejirst evening of their arrival the bride retired to her chamber and the groom fell in with a poker party, with whom he sat playing cards until 4 o'clock in the mcnlin^. His wife spent the weary hours weeping. At last he turned up and met his grief-stricken tride with the hilarious question: "Well, ain't I doing the old married man like a daisy?" She- never referred to the subject ? ? ? ? ^ U<N^rf Am alfaw f again, iiUU CYUIJUUVIJ zxxix;tt anci cuuw that they had just been married.?San Francisco Chronicle. The water of a small lake near the month of the Sutro Tunnel, in Nevada, is kept continuously warm by the hot water which flows into it from the mines. Recently the mine superintendent sent to Florida for two alligafnrc WKpti thev arrived at the nlace the temperature of the place was 12 degrees below zero and the alligators were barely alive. Upon being put into the warm lake, however, they revived and are now growing raoidly. ? - TT- - ? THE SNAKE INDIAN. Bill Nye's Opinions of Shoshones, their Manners and CustomsThere are about 5,000 Snake or Shoshone Indians now extant, the greater part being in Utah and Nevada, though there is a reservation in Idaho and another in Wyoming. JLtie btiosnone .inuian is reluctant to ncccpt of civilization on the European plan. He prefers the ruder customs which hare been handed down from father to son along with other hairlooms. I use the word hairlooms in its broadest sense. There are the Shoshones proper and -1 TTi t UI.l. 1 ~ : rue uces ana utans, 10 waiuu wave i been added by some authorities the j Comanches, and Moquis of New i Mexico and Arizona, the Netelas and ! other tribes of California. The Shoshone, wherever found, is clothed in buckskin and blanket in winter, but dressed more lightly in summer, wearing nothing but an airof intense gloom in August. To tfcis iie adds on nouilnys a necklace made from the store teeth of the hardy pioneer. The Snake or Shoshone Indian is passionately fond of the game known as poker among us, and which, I learn, is played with cards. It is a game of j chance, though skill and a' thorough knowledge ol firearms are of great use. The Indians enter into'this game with great zeal and lend to it the wonderful energy which they have preserved from year to year by abstaining from the delibitating effects of manual labor. Ail day long the red warrior sits in his skin boudoir, nursing the sickly and reluctant "fln^h," patient, silent and koDeful. Through the cold of winter, in the desolate mountains, lie continues to "Hope on, hope over," That he will "draw to fill." Far away up the canyon he hears the sturdy blows of his" wife's tomahawk as she slaughters the grease wood and the sa?:e brush for the fire in his gilded hell where he sits and woos the lazy Goddess of Fortune. With the Shoshone, poker is not alone a relaxation, the game wherewith to wear out a long and listless evening, but it is a passion, a duty and a devotion. He has a face designed especial ly tor poker, it never snows a sign/ 01 good or evil fortune. You might as well try to win a smile from a railroad right of way. The full hand, the fours, threes, pairs and bobtail flushes are all the same to him, if you judge by his face. ' When he gets hungry he cinches himself a little tighter and continues to rastle" with fate. You look at his smoky, old copper cent of a face and ; you see no changc. You watch him as he coins the last buckshot of his tribe ] and later on when he goes forth a pau- i per, and the corners of bis famine- J ^X&edipg- mouth have never moved. 1 His little~ljIa.CA, ^mofe^fl.amed eyesj have never lighted with triumpn^-e^ joy. He is the great aboriginal stoic J and sylvan dude. He does not smile^j He does not weep. It certainly musts] be intensely pleasant to be a wild, free^J lawless, irresponsible, natural borirfool. . 1 ~ The Shoshones proper include the* Bannocks, which are again' subdivided5' into theKoolsitakara, or Buffalo Eaters,, on Wind Riven the Tookarika orMountain Sheep Eaters, on Salmon and Suabe Rivers, the Shoshocas or White Knives, sometimes called Diggers of the Humboldt River and the Great Salt Lake basin. Probably the Hokandikahs, Yahooskins and the. Wahlpapes are subdivisions of the Digger tribe. I am not sure of this, but I shall, not suspend my business till I pun flriii out abonfe it. If I cannot set at a. great truth right oil'I waitpatientiy and <:<> rirhi ou drawing my salary. The Shoshones live on the government and other small game. They will eat anything when huugry, from a bailalo iioffu to a woodtick.; The Shoshone does not despise small things, rle loves insects in any form. He loves to make pets of them and to stndy tneir ua.uii5 iu his uuuc i-uc. Formerly, when a great Shoshone warrior died, they killed his favorite wife over his grave so that she could; fo to the happy hunting grounds with im, but it is not so customary now. I tried to impress on an old Shoshone brave once that they ought not to do that. I tried to show him that it Would encourage celibacy and destroy domestic ties in his tribe. S nee that there has been quite a stride toward reform among them. Instead of killing the widow on the death of her husband, the husband takes such good care of his health and avoids all kinds of intellectual strain or physical fatigue, j that late years there are no widows, j bat widowers just seem to swarm in the Shoshone tribe. The woods are full | of them. Now, if they would only kill the j widower over the grave of the wife, the i Indian's future would assumo a more definite shape. English Spinsters. The number of single women in England constantly increases. Many thousands of women have to earn their own living in place of spending and husbanding the earnings of men. -They pass their timo in an incomplete and separate existence of their own, instead of completing and embellishing the existence of others. From the excess in the number of women t tons anas taKe service in factories, while others overcrowd the ill paid ranks of needlewomen and seamstresses. Even in the richer classes there is the same inequality of numbers, and those who are relieved from the necessity of working for their daily bread have yet to seek some occupation, some interest in life to relieve the tedium of an objectless existence. Some pursue pleasure merely this srtr>n nails tmnn the ar> 'J' r jt? j.petite; others take to charitable pursuits, doing, perchance, an equal amount of good and of mischief. Those whose tastes lead them to literary or artistic pursuits are perhaps the least unhappy. That a redundancy of unmarried women exists is evident; but it must not be regarded as caused wholly or mainly by a disparity in the number of the sexes. This, difference does not at the most amount to six percent, whereas the number of unmarried women in England amounts not to six,but nof.nn.llv to thirtvoer cent?that is to ' say, only two out of every three women are .ever married. ~ A sociely has been formed in Boston to help its members purchase a home or commence business when they are married. Eligibility to membership consists simply in being unmarried. This surprising scheme provides that a member need have paid in only $2o0 to become entitled to the full benefit of $1,* 000 at the end of eighteen months. As the association hss just begun opera tions, no benefit will become due untu 1886. The secretary claims a membership of 100 already, and hopefully predicts one of 12,000 within the next five years Catching the Morning Train. 1 find that one of the most serious objection to living out of town lies ia the difficulty experienced in catching the early morning train by which 1 must reach the city and my business. It is by no means a pleasant matter, uuder ai# circumstances, to have one's move meat regulated by a time-table, and to lie obliged to rise to breakfast and to leave home at a certain hour, no matter how strong the temptation to delay may be. But sometimes the horrible punctuality of the train is productive of absolute suffering. For instance: X look at my watch when I get out of bed. and find tliat I have ar>Darentlv ralimtv of- time, so I dress rr - / ir ^ leisurely and sit down to the morning meal in a frame of miud which is calm and serene. Just as I crack my first egg I hear the down train from Wilmington. I start in alarm; and taking out my watch I compare it with the clgck and find that it is eleven minutes slfcfr, and %it I have only five m'nutes left in whicfr Wg^t to the depot. get to the gate I find that I lifre forgotten iny-du?ter and-*he bundle my wife wanted me to take up to the city to her aunt. Charging back I i sSafccb them np and tear down the gravel walk in,a frenzy. I do not like to run through the village; it is undignified and it attracts attention; but I walk furiously. I go faster and faster as-1 get-away from the main street. When half the distance is accomplished I actually do hear the whistle; there can be no doubt about it this time. I long to run, but I know that if I do I frill excite that abominable speckled dog sitting by the sidewalk a little dis tance ahead of me. Then l really see the train coming around the curve close by the depot, and I feel that I must make better time; and I do. The dog immediately manifests an interest in my movements. He tears after me and is speedily joined by five or six other dogs, which frolic about my legs and bark furiously. Sundry small . boys, as I go plunging past, contribute to the excitement by whistling with their fingers, and the men wlioare at work upon the new meeting house stop to look at me and exchange jocular remarks with each other. I do feel ridiculous, but I must catch that- train at all hazards. I become desperate when I have to slacken my pace until two or three wo^men who are standing on the sidewalk discussing the infamous price of butter, scatter to let mc pass. 1 arrive within a few yards of the station with my duster fling in the wind, with my coat tails in a horizontal position, and with the speckled dog nipping at my heels, tejust as the train begins to move. I put " on am extra pressure, resolving to get *the train or perish, and I reach it just as the last car is going by I seize the hand-rail, I am jerked violently around, "but finally, after a desperate effort, I ^get upon the step with my knees, and ""ItrKhanled in by the brakeman, hot, . . mad. with mv trousers torn /^across the knees, my legs bruisSdr&fld Jjthree ribs of my umbrella broken. P' Jast as I reach a comfortable seat in \ ? -the car the train stops and then backs ' | up on the siding, where it remains for ; half an hour while the engineer repairs l a dislocated valve. The Anger which *bm:ns in my bosom as I rellect now upon *w5at has proved to have been the folly of that race, is increased as I look out | of the window and observe the speck[ led dog engaged with his companions I In an altercation over a bone. A man I wtio permits his dog to roam about the i streets nipping the legs of every one I who happens to go at. a more rapid gait than a walk, is unfitfor associating with civilized beings. He ought to be placed on a desert island in mid-ocean, and be compelled to stay there.?Max Adder, in Exchange. Truth in a Plaiu Suit. Elder Toots having got most of his feet under the redhot stove, and Colonel Cahoots having succeeded in knocking down a bust of Plato and wrecking $500 worth of relics, Brother Gardnor arose and said: "What I hanker artcr am to meet a plumb up an' down man. Dar am fjussons in dis club who wobble about ike a loose wagon wheel. One day dey greet you wid a |jin as soft as June, an' de nex' day cfey doan' know you as you pass on de street. I doan' mean to hurt no man's feelin's, but I nean to be plumb. "If Whalebone Howker should come ober to my house an' ax de loan of a dollar I wouldn't keep him on de hooks fur hall an hour fur a decision. I should at once reply to him; 'Whalebone, de man wno uses money airxiuu uj uio wife at de wash-tub to buy lottery tickets can't get no dollar outer me!' When a man axes my religion I doan1 beat aroun' de bush to find out if he has found a short cut to heaben, but 1 denounce myself as a Baptist an' take my chances by de ole roacl "When you think yes or no doan' hesitate to say so. Doan' be leanin' one way one day an' some odder way on de nex\ De'man who knnws whar to find you won't go away mad, eben if you decide agin him. Our Samuel Shin am one day gwine to be a statesman, an1 on de.nex' he's gwine to open a saloon wid a gilded ceilin'. One day you will find him a Methodist an de nex' you will see him devourin' a Univcrsalist sermon. Meet him in de mawnin1 an' he am a feroshus Republican; cotch him in de afternoon an' he am a good Dimocrat "Be plumb up an* down. If you am sot on bein' good stick to it If yon am sot on bein1 bad doan' let de purleece bluff you off. If you like a man tell him he can have de use of your snowshovel all summer. If you can't hoe co'n wid him, ax him to buy or sell out an1 take some odder cow-path. De wobbly man am a pusson to be shunned. Tryin1 to do bizness wid him am wasted labor trown away."?Lime, Kiln Club in Detroit Free Press. Reaching for the Public. "Talk about hard times!" ho seutiv-u as he leaned back in his chair at one o the down town restaurants. "Why, gentlemen, it's all in knowing how to reach the public." "Yon used to speculate in grain, I believe?" observed the man at his right:- 1 "Jl did, ana i xost money. x nw w & hole eleven months in a year and hard >up**the remainder. I didn't know how to reach the .public." ; "And now?" _ "Well, I am on the road exhibiting a fat woman who weighs 370 pounds? admission. 15 cents. I have no margins to put up, dividends are declared with the most annoying regularity, and if anybody disputes her weight she has a lo-jr? r>nr<at weitrhin? 210 pounds to *VM>* vw*vw? (3 o * bring her up to the mark."?Wall Street fleics. . ^ Queen Victoria, according to an official announcement, has never eaten a piece of cake. X. - HE GOT A SEAT. How a Philosophical Irishman Secured a ! Seat in a R-iltway Car. There were a number of parlor-cars and two ordinary passenger coaches on a train wlii'-h left New York for Philadelphia at 7 o'clock a few nights ago. T2very seat in the passccgcr-coaches was occupied in oue way aud another when the last boat arrived from New York. Among the people who ->omo ?f. t.'io l.oct runmpnt w:is a tierv and untamed Irishman, whose face was fringed with a wealth of ccru hair. He walked through the smoking-car, found every seat occupied by two% men, and then burst into the next car impetuously. The air at once became redolent if rum TTr> r-nst his eve lm and down on either side of the car and saw that every seat was occupied by parcels, luggage, feet, or the sprawliug forms of passengers. One or two scats had been turned, and one gray-haired man who had a specially lank complement of legs, succeed'd in occupying two benchas by dint of stretching himself out like an octopus, and ingeniously filling in the spaces not occupied, by himself on the benches with bits of luggage, Xhelrisn?uan directed toward him a glare of unusual ferocity. He walked the long length of the car twice, but the passengers carefully avoided his gaze. Apparently they were all sleeping serenely. Then he "leaned against the door and carelessly placed his hand on the stove. He removed the hand, walked to. the other end of the car, and washed his hands cai*elcssly with water from the ice-tank. The train was now speeding ? Ta?./.att .Qfill n a />rin uuiusa LUC UXZLBVJ uicauvtfo. wuAi uv vuv offered to share his jseat with the latest arrival, and the Irishman went back and leaned against the door once more. Finally he raised his voice so that it could be heard a "considerable distance into the next car and remarked, with an air of philosophical observation: "People don't seem to realize that this . here is second-class. It is just the samef and the lirst-class cars are in the rear. The second-class chumps which is now * i.1.. x ? ^ ?_ t,..: ^ ^ ^ ? occupying uie siues puis <ju uviub a.s many lugs as the first-class ladies and gintlemen behind us. That is because tiicy are not lirst-class ladies and gintlemen themselves, but simply second-class chumps." A silence of several minutes followed this speech, which was finally broken by two or three' men moving towards the corners of their seats and placing their bags and satchels on the floor. rhen the voice or tne man in cne rear rose again above the hum of the wheels. "There is no hog like an old hog,'1 he remarked, sententiously. "A man would think that a gray beard and bald head would go along with wisdom and experience, but it ain't always the case. There is bald-headed men in this world who wouldn't give a man a lift to save their sowls, though their own business mnv bo saving sowls. Any bald-headed man with a gray beard who will wear a preachers clothes and occupy four seats in a second-class car, while workingmen are standin' up, is a large, fat, bevel?dgedhog." Ol'he gray-haired man who occupied th&__two -be-BChes and who wore" the habiliments of a~7rie??]r"man rose here, looking very red in thefkce7 and-hui-- ried forward into the smoking car. A ; moment later he came back, followed by the brakeman, who wore the usual easy-going nonchalcnt, and blase ex- ] pression of a man of his calling. I "This man." sputtered the clergyman, angrily, pointing to the red-head- j ed Irishman, "has been indulging in the grossest sort of personal abuse .toward the passengers in this car, directing the bulk of it toward me." * 1 The brakeman dived down into the i inner recesses of his clothes, produced a ' paper of tobacco, partook thereof gen- < erously, and said pleasantly to the man I in the red wiskers: ) "What's up, Irish?!V i "I was making a few general re- 1 marks about the hogs that travel on this road and occupy four seats when ?J thev only have a right to occupy one/' ' "Who does it?" < "Your frind, the praist there." ' The brakeman glanced down, turned I the forward seat back into its proper 1 form, tossed the clergyman's bundles ] on the rear sent, and then said to that 1 gentleman: ' /'You're traveling on a free pass, J anyhow, aren't you? Yes? Now you behave yourself just exactly as if ' you were paying your fare, will you? ' That's all the road asks of you."?N. 1 Y. ?? . < o ] They Got theWJne. ' "Of convso it is awfully funny to ; shout 'Lock up the wine cellar, Mary, i for the plumber is coming,' " said one i of the bi?r-bill gentlemen to a reporter, ( "but it isn't a pleasant remark for a \ plumber to hear." "Is it true that a plumber can empty ] a barrel of whisky while he is soldering j up a pin-hole in a water pipe?" - "Nonsense! Mind, I don't say that < wlien a plumber is wording in a rich . man's cellar where there are barrels of liquor that he won't take a drink now and then?that is, some of them will." "How is it with yourself?" "Oh, I sometimes turn the faucet, but ? never to take more thai: a di'ink or two . in a day, excepting once/' ) "When was that?" ] "You won't put that in the paper, ! mill ?" I TY AA-fc J VU. *'Sui*e," ] ' Then. Til tell you all about. Three or four years ago Jim and I had a job up on Woodward avenue. "When we went down into the cellar tho servant girl followed ue, took a brass key that * ^ J ! - J .'i. was Hanging on a naii a.nu carueu .to np stairs. There was a cask of French brandy, a barrel of bourbon, another J of port and another of sherry, and there was a barrel-room locked, full of < bottled liquors. It made us smack our ! lips, just to look around at the barrels < and bottles, but when it came to tak- ! ing a drink, the liquor might as well ; have been in the moon. The barrels ' all had these patent lock faucets in - * t- - J 4-U* tnem, ana me giri aau. c;uiicu uu mo key. ' "We worked away all the forenoon with nothing but water to drink, but i Jim swore that he would have some of that wine in the afternoon, though I couldn't see how he was going to get it; I hadn't got ray trade learned then. Pretty soon after we went to work in the afternoon Jim pulled about a yard of small rubber tubing out of his pocket, hunted up an empty fruit jar, knocked out a bung -and siphoned out a couple quarts of port Maybe we didn't get so drunk that we had to quit work!"? Detroit Free Press The proportion of those who attend public worship to the bulk of the population in the following four European 'Ratlin On mn nnrmlation AO A/V411U vvvj "|- ? 1,000.000; Hamburg o.OOO, population 400,000; London 3,000,000, population 4,000,000; Glasgow 500,000, population 700,000. 1 \ X % : The Ruling Passion. "Just before the battle of Fredricksburg, knowing that a large number of Pennsylvania troops were with Burnside. and" that a general engagement between the two armies was imminent, I went to Washington and asked for tr.irisnnrtfttion to the front A tu<r was placed at my disposal, and I reached the army in time to witness the battle. The terrible slaughter of our troops on that disastrous day we all know. "When our defeat was beyond question I boarded the tug and hastened to Washington, hoping, as railroad communication was impossible, to forestall the exaggerated rumors that might be expeetecl, and to alleviate*even in only a slight degree the shock of unwelcome tidings. It was considerable past midnight when I reached Washington, but I proceeded directly to the White House. It was no surprise to me to to learn that the President had not retired. I was immediately ushered into his presence. As he accosted me and read in my face the character of the news I had to communicate he sank into a chair with a sigh of distress." "What news. Governor?" said he. "Bad! very bad." "Tell me air." lie rested his head on his hands while I gave, the outline and the results of the battle. He heaved a heavy sigh and looked at me with an expression of intense suffering, and I remarked: ' "T heartily wish I rnicht be a wel come messenger of good news instead ?that I could tell you how to conquer or get rid of these rebellious States." Looking up quickly, with a marked change of expression, Lincoln said: "That reminds me of the two boys in Illinois who took a short cut across an orchard, and did not become aware of the presence of a vicious dog until it was too late to reach either fence. One was spry enough to escape the attack by climbing a tree, but the other started around the tree, with the dog in hot pursuit, until, by making smaller circles than it was possible for his pursuer to make, he gained sufficiently to grasp the dog's tail, and held with desperate grip until nearly exnaustea, when he hailed his companion and called to him to come down. " 'What for?' said the boy. " *1 want you to help me let this dog go.' | "If I could let them go," said the \ President, in conclusion; "but that is the trouble. I am compelled to hold on to them and make them stay.?Xcw 1 York Telegram. The Street Car Fiend. C'nrto-ivis-jmori m-fl rniifft litfl vw*40kvvv****'" w "1 other people. They enjoy their little 1 jokes and like to rap one another on 1 what may seem tender snots, occasion- 1 ally. Robertson, ot' Kentucky, who suceecds Proctor Knoct, is, in \he absence of Belford, of Colorado, the red- i de.st heade'd, reddest faced, reddest whiskered man in the House. Riding up to the Capitol in a bob-tail i car a day or two ago were Robertson I and a number of other members, mostly from the West. They were passing , jokes in a promiscuous way, killing , time as the raw-k^^tuLcar--hqrsg^ic^g-" *,j sred them slowly up the hill. "I don't know whether you eT?r < heard of it, gentlemen," said one of the party, "but they have a law out in Ken- ( tucky quite peculiar to the state, and which has mad..* my friend Robertson, j liere quite famous m a certain way--*""lt [ is rattier a peculiar law,;: tys-conunuea, , as everybody in -rtie" car, including some ladies who chanced to be along, began to look toward Robertson with ] interest, "and is, in brief, that any wo- : nan who may be sentenced to be hang- 1 2d may be pardoned if anybody will, at I the last moment, come forward and * marry her. It happened," he contin- 1 ned.with some gusto, as the interest oegan to grow with more intense and [ Robertson be?ran to crow more embar- j rassed as tlie center of observation, "that a woman was to be hanged there I sue day. At the last moment, when ? ;hey had her upon the cart under the 1 gallows, the usual question was asked | -vhether there was any man there who ?/ould save her "from death by marryng her. Robertson was there, and, ;euder-hearle'd fellow that he is, came :o the front and raid, 'Yes. I will-"' Fhe woman was blindfolded. She was .old of the oiier, and began, naturally, :o ask for a description of the man she ,vas to marry to escape death. They 1 escribed him as well as they could? lis age, his size, his shapely hand and ixquisite foot, and manly form, when suddenly she asked the color of his hair md beard. An attendant whispered :hc truth in her ear. 'Then drive on ;he kyart, please.' rhe said, - and that ;nded Robertson's matrimonial ventires." mere was a roaroi laugutenu wmcu Llobertson, who knows how to take a oke, joined and the crowd hurried out is the car reached the foot of the Capi.ol steps.?Washington, Cor. St. Louis i'Oct-lJis-puLcJi. Lucrative Positions. Yanderbilt is determined that his sons-in-law shall become business-men. A.s soon as young Twombley married liis daughter he gave him the job of loading and unloading the freight in New York. This is really an extensive department in the railway system and requires a large force of clerks and laborers, and also a number of steamers and barges. The profit from this specialtv is estimated at 880,000 a year, and this puts Twombley on an independent basis. The two other sons-in-law (Shepard and Sloan) are both able and prosperous business-men, the former having a lucrative law practice, while the latter is one of the most extensive earp.et-dealers in the country. Dr. Seward weoD, who muin?utii? vuuuj;- > 2st of the daughters, has never made medical practicc a success, and his 1 father-in-law has been desirous of pro- 1 viuing for him out of that vast railway patronage which he still controls. The recent resignation of Tillinghast, Presi- i lent of the sleeping-car company, has afforded a suitable opening, and the doctor now abandons his profession in 1 favor of a sinecure berth worth 810,000 n vftnr. There are few men that can < make such rich provision for those who many into the family. ' i A Frenchman sent a circular to all his friends asking why they cultivated a beard. Anion'' the answers nine j stated, '-because I wish to avoid shav- ] ing;" twelve "because I do not wish to ' catch cold;" live "because I wish to ; T * CUUUCU.1. UUU. LC.VIU, bnu v. _ wish to conceal the length of me nose;" six "because I am a soldier;" twenty- ; one "because I was a soldier;" sixtyfive "because my wife likes it;" twen- 1 ty-eight "because my love likes it;" fifeon ftrtcRrpred that thev wore no ! beards. A calf with five legs is one cf the curiosities to be seen at Dalton, Ga. '^?131 GLEANINGS. For half a century 110 Cabinet officer .. has reachcd the Presidency. Preston County,West Virginia,boasts of a iive-leggcd two-tailed horse. The pulsation of a cat's heart is said to be from 110 to 129 per minute. statistics snow tnai clergymen nyo about two years longer than lawyers. It is estimated that the forests of Scotland yield 10,000 deer annually. The Arab compels his horss to feed from the ground in order to maintain the curve of the backbone. The latest rumor regarding the earth is that it will be one huge globe of ice in 3,000,000 years from date. mi _ "l j. a.? jLne longest coaunuous uuer imunu is that of silk. An ordinary cocoon of a well-fed silkworn will often reol 1,000 yards. Queen Victoria's private fortune is only $8o,000,000. It is believed it will suffice to pay the debts of the Prince of Wales. "With a pen of <];old dipped in the oil of gladness"is the way the Nebraska edrtor introduced his Now Year!*editorial. ? Senator Sewell, of New Jersey, is said to use more ink in signing his ~ name than any man in that brancn of the Congress. Billingsgate, the great market through which London buys her principal fish supply, delivers monthly an - !, average of 11,000 tons. ? The coldest weather ever experienced in the Northwest was at Fort Benton, in 1880, when the thermometer marked 59 degrees below zero. A novel ground for divorce is offered by an Indiana husband, who counts up eighty-one times when his wife lias scalded him with hot teaChinese exports of tea to Great Britain last year fell off 11,000,000 pounds, and to the United States 4,000,000 pounds, as compared with 1883. At the Calcutta exhibition the second prize for butter was awarded to a fine sample of American oleomargarine. Some one spoiled a good joke and the judges reconsidered the award. jSfot high-toned, but human?the . ^ ft quiet satisfaction with which the in- ^ -J dustrious editor beholds his ruthless , . contemporaries stealing his glaring errors along with his valuable facts. : - * Tennessee has 10,000 square miles of ' /' O timber land which is as yet practically untouched; a tract larger by 1,500 square miles than Massachusetts,Rhode ftyl o T> /-3 o n ^ nnf LOXvkJ-i-VA VVUUV^WVUI. IV^V/ LUU-L Statistics published by the Ohio Divorce Reform League show that over two thousand divorces are now granted annually in that State. This is an increase of 233 per cent in nineteen F-ears- * ' .Vpgj Thq, City of Mexico has five railroads, r% c-vJAnslisl cfr*obf ACT* OYrcf-nm wires to all the world, a telephone serrice with 700 subscribers, six daily newspapers, electric lights and the best bath houses in America. - ' \ -;1 r The Brtisli drink bill for 18S3 foots ap ?028,386,375. The quantity aggregates 1,032,142,158 gallons. This would uaake a lake a mile long and a mile rfkl-e. with a depth of thirty-five feet, or mffi^retlMo^pat men-of-gar. y ^ The London 2^'cics has agvieeg Ux^ijQ*?- ?- . jifect that the American Government .; l>os advanced claims to land in the Fiji r>laniis. in behalf of its subiects who settled there before the annexation of the territory by this British. London mail carriers now call at private residences for parcels, the same is Jo express messengers in this country. A scarlet card is furnished by the postal authorities, which,when displayed in the windov/, insures a call from :hc postman. ' , A mechanical curiosity has just been jomplelod ?by a shoemaker in Utica, V. V-. ^nnsistinsr of two houses, each 7 O ' - six feet .square, and containing wooden igures working, at trades. There are nearly 200 of these fibres, and the notive power is a small three-horse / power engine. -~4i A pamphlet has lately been published in London advocating the lining oi people who have more than three children. There is no question but that the theories advanced- by Mrs. Besant lisrp rrri H n rrl 1 v t?fcr>r> n. verv " strong hold on the people of England. When a TiiiCetan lover parts from his sweetheart, after calling upon her, he twirls his cap over his head, bows in reverence, and then puts out his tongue to its full length, the latter performance having the same affectionate significance as the parting kiss between lovers oi other countries. A properly developed, full-grown man weighing 154 pounds ought, according to Professor Huxley, to consume daily 5,000 grains of lean beefsteak, 6,000 grains of bread, 7,000 grains of milk, 3,000 grains of potatoes, 600 grains of butter and 22,903 grains of water. ' 'Outside of 2,000 or 3,000 German and Frenchmen who brought communistic thcoiies with them from Europe, the New York Sun does not believe that there are 500 Communists in New York, and in the Union as a whole the num oer is lnsigmncanuy siuuxi iu son with the total bgdy of workers. In a Dakota town a curiosity in the shape of a chicken heart was, from its large and peculiar size, opened for examination, and in the center of the heart was found a grain of wheat or rice, witii sprouts snooting out from the small white grain, which, of course, caused the enlarged, odd-looking heart. - - "7 The marbie trade of San Francisco is worth ?4,000,000 annually, one-fourth of which sum has heretofore been paid to the Carrara Quarry, of Italy. With the new San Francisco company operating in the Alaska quarries, the city hopes to purchase hereafter its entire supply from its own citizens, and at the same time to get a marble of eqnal ' beauty as heretofore. Alf Prater, of Gainesville, Ga., has . ' constructed a model of the Brooklyn bridge. It is four feet wide, thirty feet long, and weighs 750 pounds. Three hundred ar.d lifty figures are kept moving on it, representing men, women, * - J 1 ? rays, carriages, cars, etc., aau uuuex the bridge are boats in real water, mating the scone wonderfully like the real bridge. The height of the Arabian carpal at the shoulders is bet veen six and seven feet, and the color of the rather coarse hair is of various shades of brownIhe first attempt to amount one calls for no little dexterity,as the usual mode is to bestride the animal while he is on his knees, and it is no easy matter for a novice to maintain the correct "een ter oi gravity" when the animal rises. The British soldiers, however, have entered this novel service with considerable enthusiasm, and have been disposed to make pets of their new com- .. j panions, although they report thus far it seems to be a most "unsocial beast." ?Toronto Globe. . ..a?