The Fairfield news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1881-1900, April 29, 1885, Image 1
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?S : _ 7 WINNSBGRO, S. C., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1885. " ~ ???
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"Winter Violets.
Yon ask me why my eyes are Ailed with tears.
"Whene'er I meet the violets of the Spring?
You can not teil what thoughts of bygone
years
Those simple flowers have n?ver failed to
bring.
I bad a brother once: his grave is green.
And long ego was carved the headstone's
date:
Bat fresh his memory still?T have not seen
- One like him, sincc he left me desolate.
I- For we 'were twins, and bound by ties so
stronjr,
sdSBk It seemed that neither couM exist apart;
Yet bo was taken?Ahl what memories
v-.' throng
E'en to this day, on my bereaved heart.
He faded from us in the Winter time,
When ali the sun's warmth from his rays departs;
Sometimes we fancy a more genial clime
Mifrht- wstored him to our anxious
T hearts.
M J mother prayed him tell her was there j
augrht
That roid could purchase, or that love could
WKi *<. rfesired; so tenderly she sought
bring- back smiles upon the hollow cheek.
Are there no violets yet?" he answered, low.
We sent out messengers the country round:
, ^.n vain, in vain, the hills were deep with
snow.
And cruel frost lay on the level ground.
"Will not the violets come before the Spring?"
Haw plaintive came the question?day by
day;
None could be found; it only served to wrin?
^ur loving hearts to answer always "Nay,"
At last one day he 'woke revived from sleep
And smiling thanked us for them; but wo
said
It was a dream, for still the snovr lay deep.
Not e'en a snowdrop dared to lift its head.
Yet be averred their perfume filled the air!?
"How could he doubt it??sure the flowers
were nigh!"
Alas! we knew no violets could be thereYet
seemed they present to his fervid eye.
So spake he. till he 6lept?he 'woke no more;
Sweet brother, was it worthy of regrets.
That the next morn, from distant parts they
. bore
AO our siiu. aoae, lae
, "Was he by fancy happily deceived?
Or were his dying senses rarefied.
And actual knowledge blissfully achieved.
Tasting: the fragrance as he softly died?
I -wept while bending o'er his coffined rest.
Hushing my anguish for a last caress:
I strew'd the violets on his pallid breast-*
Perhaps still conscious of their loveliness.
CONGRESS.
Pen Pictures of the House in Session?
The Etiquette of the American
Parliament.
The national honso of reprcsenta
tives! How few people in the United j
States have seen it, writes a corre- I
spondent to the Cleveland Leader, and
how different is their idea of it from the
reality. It is now 3 o'clock in the afternoon.*
The house is in the midst of
its daily session, and a din like that jtfC'
a boiler-factory surrounds me
in the press gallery and Qeariv
_ as I can a photograph ofjge scenes
fore me. It;is anxjgg^T r ^
house chambfj^g^r largest Ieg.
^f^Sj&HSFirrfche world.
**600*?!^l(>Qr covers nearly one-fifth of
acre, and its height from Hoot to
V* roof is thirty-six feet. It looks the
smaller for the hundreds that are in it.
mr It is cotoposed of a great central pit
W about fifteen feet deep, with deep galS
leries rising from its top and going up||
irard by five graduated lines of benches
K ' " -jnntil the fifth row stik^ihe buff and
ccreen naTiazurfsfciaespJ'^^r wall. Those
gallen^wHTseat 2,500 people, and the
seats within them look down upon the
bear garden of the arena in the s: r>e
way as does those from which tha
spectators watch a Spanish bull-fight.
The walls of this. j)it are paneled in
pink and velvety ^^.vered buff, and
around each panel is a gilt frame fine
enough to blind a Raphael or a Vandyck.
In two of these panels are pict
tures of historic scenes by Bierstadt,
and on either side of the speaker's
desk are pictures of "Washington by
Vanderlyn and of Lafayette by Ary
Scheffer.
In this wall, opening out of the congressional
pit, are arched ^door-holes
all ornamented with carving and gold.
Some of these lead to cloak: rooms,
others to the barber shops of the eapitol,
one to the house library, and six
\ , to the outside corridors, where the
lobbyists and other bores have to wait
nntil their friends come oat to see
them.
Sitting In the press gallery you can
i > ? ?j i i
Look into tne cioas; rooms auu uai ucx
shops. Judge Reagan, of Texas, is in
the barber's chair at this moment, and
his swarthy face shines out at me from
the midst of white lather. There are
a cro\ i of congressmen in the cloak
rooms, and among them I see Tom
Ochiltree's red face wreathed in smoke,
and Judge Poland's royal countenance
convalseci with laughter. The 325
overcoats and hats of the little great
men who are performing below me
hang in those cloak rooms. Some of
them are very seedy-looking, indeed,
md ant one out of ten would be woi ih
stealing. The doors leading out of the
house into the corridors are double.
This is to keep the outs out and the
ins in. Each is also guarded by two
doorkeepers, able-bodied men who
hold their chairs down in those wellwarmed
halls for $1,200 per annum.
Each of the gallery doors also has a
doorkeeper, though there is little necessity
for it, and the officers of the
house, one thinks from their numbers,
4.1. ? 4.1.^
are more numerous uxaix iuo mcur
tejfc to return to the bear pit. The
MgJlery is the central one at the
P is shut off from the other gal&a
wire lattice work, ana is
b eorrespondents solely. Fif flHMHH&elow
these galleries is the
Be house. It is 115 feet long
Bride. If you could take the
?bu would see that it is made
a space as wide as the front
try city house, on which the
ad clerk's desks are locatag
by a gradation of four
I it reaches the last half
turns, where a flat floor
om this to the wails.
iter of this half moon, at
ttfce hall, is the speaker's
p a series of throe white
;s rising one above the oth
st, about thre^teeUaign^s
teraphers of congress, wiio
pjarly. The tops of their
>vered with navy-blue baize,
ve mahogany drawers in
ep their writing materials,
bem are the reading clerks
i, snobbish young men with
ces, and above them on a
am of white marble cut in
| an elaborately-carved pul'
speaker. This to-dav is
Is, a dark-faced, rough-feawith
no.whiskers, whocong-s
tobacco as he sits on
5 presides over the house,
la swinging walnut one.
try hammer or mallet in
Bthis he uses with energy
Ksy crowd below, him in
Weaker's desk, on a pe|||>nt
marble, stands the
Hia of the speaker's royalBundle
of lictor's rods
bound with silver cords, mounted on a
silver globe and crowned with an
American eagle.
The members of the house sit on six
half-moons of seats, rising and growing
larger as they go backward, in front of
the speaker. These seats are ranged
on little ranges of rostums, and the
ed<res of these rostrums are bound with
shining brass, and are, as in the whole
floor, carpeted with a rich carpet of
red Brussels, on which are flowered
figures of blue and yellow. On each
ran^e is a row of seats and desks. The
aesKs are smau anairs ox wmte woou,
having lids covered with blue baize,
which are raised whenever the owner
gets at the $125 wortii of stationery he
is allowed annually. Behind each row
of desks is a row of white cane-seated
office chairs, each on a swivel and
each so fixed on springs that the sitter
can lean back and put his feet on his
desk if he will. This is a favorite pos
ture with some congressmen, and I
havo seen certain sleepy ones snore
away so for hours at a time. Half of
the chairs are oh the average empty,
and some of them have bcetTknown tcf
continue so for an entire congressional
session. The owners are paid $5,000 a
year to fill them. They draw the money
and leave the chairs empty. The
seventh and last half moon of chairs
backs up against curtains or fire-screens
of blue baize on frames of bright brass
rods. Back of these screens there is
room to walk about the house, and in
the two corners at either en \ where
the grate fires are, are halt a dozen
c<->foc wVii/VK ore orAncrnllv filled bv
"""" J3 J
lounging, sleeping, and smoking congressmen.
Do congressmen smoke during session?
Why, bless you, yes! I have
seen ladies grow sick in the galleries
from the vile odors of the tobacco
which rose from the two-for-5 cent cigars
glowing in the mouths of the socalled
gentlemanly congressmen benoifh
T cf><?n rnpmhers smokino'
in their very seats, and have watched
through the wreaths of smoke to catch
the eye of the members behind them.
They chew, too. These godlike congressmen
do chew! They spit! and
every desk has a spitoon of pink and
gold china beside it to catch the filth
from the statesman's month. It costs
at least ?100 a year to care for the
spittings of the house, and your average
congressman will disregard the
spittoon and spit upon the floor.
They aro a neat set! The house at
this moment is littered with scrans of
paper like a garret. In front of the
speaker's desk are scraps of letters, |
torn i e-uspapers, and other litters, and |
find under the desks of moslxAf "friA"
^^einbers tttp nature,
'j'jjjere is_s>g|)ittoon beside the chair of
the speaker, for Mr. Carlisle is an inveterate
chewer of tobacco, and his
heavy jaws caress the cud as joyfully
oc fliev <}<-? frAr*-f-r<irlft statistics.
As far as order in the house is concerned,
there is none. If an ordinary
member has the floor a bedlam straightway
rises. His fellow-members talk
out loud to" each other, and each goes
on with his business as if he was alone.
Dozens of members are writing letters;
others are mailing documents to their
constituents; others are reading newspapers;
some will be sleeping, and
many will be talking and laughing. If
a member wants to cross the hall he
does not hesitate to rush between
the congressman speaking and the
speaker, and if another wauts a page,
no matter if his brother congressman
speaking beside him is in the midst of
his finest period, he will clap his hands
like the shot of a pistol.
I have seen members sleeping when
their next-seat member was speaking,
and it is no uncommon thing for a
member to be talking with not a single
fellow-member listening to him. The
speaker generally pays attention, but
not always. He favors whom he
pleases to a certain extent, and has the
opportunity to display considerable
power.
The ceiling of the house chamber is
a wonderful structure, made of glass
and cast-iron. Through this the house
is lighted?in the davtime bv the light
- - - .t ^
oi day, ana during me evemug u> mteen
hundred gas-jets, which are lighted
by electricity. This ceiling is made
in panel?, and these are painted and
gilded, and each bears the coat of arms
of one of the states of the union.
Just over the entrance door of the
house is a large, round-faced clock,
which regulates the time of opening
the session and which limits the time
allowed to each speaker. It is a sober,
judicial-looking old clock, and its face
is a terror to the average long-winded
congressman.
Ju<t over the speaker's desk and opposite
t lis clock under the press gallery
is a gold eagle looking out over
the sneaker's head, and apparently'
ready to liv. On each side of it hangs
a diugv American flag, covered with
dust and discolored with age.
The two doors in the wall3 at the
sitie of the speaker lead to the members'
retiring-rooms, in which are hung
crayon portraits of all the speakers
since the organization of congress.
They cost the government $50 apiece,
and some of them arc fairlv erood likenesses.
This room is wall-furnished,
[t has a number of sofas and easy
chairs, with tivo doorkeepers at an expense
of a couple of thousand a
year to keep the barbarous public
out of them.
Such is a brief description of our national
house of representatives. It is
a fine structure, and 1 sometimes think
far too good for the men who have the
right to seats in it
The old house was in the hall of the
statutes, as it is now called, which lies i
between this house chamber and the {
dome. It was. in V that all of our J
greatest efforts at oratory were made,
ivhere Clay, Calhoun, aud Webster
fought their forensic battles, and where
for thirty-two years history was made.
It accommodated seats for 232 members,
and its galleries seated about 700
spectators. The members1 desks were
of mahogany, and each had an armchair.
The reporters to the extent of
twenty were accommodated with sofas
and desks, and the speaker had a drapery
of rich crimson at his back. It
was in 1857 that the house was moved
into its present quarters, and in 1864
the old house was dedicated to its present
use as a statuary hall.
The average congressman considers
himself a great man, but he is only a
clerk after all. He is paid by the
country to comc here and apportion
out the public funds to the running of
the government. Other men decide
how much the government needs, and
they furnish the congressmen the figures.
The average member knows
nothing about it, and the best member
for the country perhaps is he who
knows the least. We merely pay them
?v\ rlvc-iHo r\iiT mnnpr for ns. The fOV
eminent is already organized. We
have all the laws we need, and the
United States, if it were not for the
necessity of the formality of passing
the appropriations, could do better
without congress than with it Still
we have it, and we have to pay for it.
We pay well, too. The estimate for
the legislative expenses for the current
year is put at more than three million
and a half of dollars, and the house of
representatives alone will cost nearly
j two and one-half millons. It takes
$413,000 a year to pay the salaries of
our senators, $1,800,000 to pay the
mileage and salaries of the representatives,
and the understrappers about
VirmGO conitd cri*t. nf
kiAV "VUJX ?VUI?.W fc}"
S700,000 and more at each congressional
session.
ExperJci:ce of a Bo9fon GlrL
Two well-known yor.njr ladies?first
! fnmilv nnf?s at that?hardened to meet
in the boss dry goods store of the place
the other day. One of them was making
a purchase which only the day before
she had said she didn't think she
could afford to make. She was questioned
by her fair companion as to why
she had changed her mind. What followed
is on the word of the store owner:
"Jack called last night," said* the
lady who had changed her mind, -"and
by and by other company came in, and
1 ofter A wliilfi somnhodv sn<ro^sted a lit
tie game, and we made up a board? j
ante five, ten to come in, and twenty- I
five limit. We played till 10, and I was
10 cents out, and I felt just awful.
Some one said: 'Play one jack pot for
a half and quit.' Everybody agreed.
There were $5 in the pot before anyone
opened. Jack opened for a half; the
mean thins:, and all I had to draw to
was it LUUU&l'V UK3U. II CLOU, u LUUV ll..ful?
Well, everybody '-ame in, and X
made up my mind I wasn't going to bo
scared, and so I chipped along. Jack
only took two cards. All the rest took
three. I threw mine all away and took
five. Wasn't I horrible? Jack bet a
half. Everybody else saw him. I
looked at my hand and raised this bet a
half more. There were $8 in the pot.
Jack says, 'What, on a five-card draw?'
I said, **Yes.' Then he saw me and
raised another half. All the rest drop
ped out, the mean things, i tooc another
peep at my hand and raised Mr.
Jack another haif. 'See here, Jenny,'
he said, 'if it was any one else I'd think
they were giving me a blnff, but I guess
you've got the beating of me, and so I
won't invest any more. Take the pot.
I opened on threo aces,' said Jack,
showing 'em down, and I drew in the
money. Wasn't it sweet in Jack to
think I wouldn't bluff him?"
"Perfectly sweet," exclaimed the
fair companion. "What did vou
hold?" ; "
"I only had one little pair of deucos, I
innocent manipulator
of the jack^ft^- ^
"Wasn't it j\^st top^lovely for anything?
So I thov^t I'd come oyer
and Duy the goods to-day. Isn't it a
bargain?"?Societyy$(^u'm7l'Of a Boston
paper. ,
The Witching "Weed.
Cigars were not known until about
1S15. Previous to that time pipes were
used exclusively.
Chewing had* been in vogue to a limited
extent for some time, while snuffing
dates back almost as far as smoking.
The first package sent to Catherine
de Medici was in fine powder. She
found that smelling it iu the box affected
her similarly to smoking, which led
hsr to fill one of her smelling-bottles
with the dust Her courtiers adopted
the habit of snufing small portions of
it rm the nostrils, and as the DreciOUS
stuff became more plentiful the snuffing
habit became more general, until at
last a man or a woman was not considered
as in proper form unless they
snuffed.
The custom became so common in
England that a snuff-box was no longer
a sign of rank- Then it was the law
prohibiting the culture of the plant, except
for medicine, was passed. About
the same time a heavy tariff was placed
on the imported article, thereby practically
placing it beyond the reach of
the common herd and giving royalty a
complete monopoly.
Since it first began to be used as a
luxury there have been conflicting opinions
in regard to its effects. The Somish
church once forbade its use, and the
Church of England declaimed against
it.
The Wesleys opposed it hotly, and at
one time it was considered so unclean
as to unfit men for membership in the
Methodist church.
Baptist ana rresoyterian ministers
preached against it, and societies were
organized to oppose the spread of the
habit, but all to no purpose. Parents
disowned and disinherited their children
because they used it,and husbands
divorced their wives on account of their
having contracted the habit of smoki
insIt
is singular that when women get
into the habit of smoking a pipe they
prefer a strong one.
There arc few men who have nerve
I enough to smoke a pipe such as a woman
Tikes when she has become a confirmed
smoker. When thoy first begin
; miffing cigars they prefer them very
mild, butfit is not long until they want
them black and strong and lots of
them.?Pittsburg Dispatch.
Succeedcd Too WelU"Now,"
said the bride, "Henry, I
want you to understand distinctly that
I do not "wish to be taken for a bride.
| I am going to behave exactly as if I
was an old married woman. So, dearest,'
do not think me. cold and unloving
if I treat you very practically when
there is anybody by."
"I don't believe I can pass for an old
married man. I am so fond of you
that I am bound to show it. I am sure
to give the snap away."
"No, you mustn't. It's easy enough.
And I insist that you behave iust like
' * - a J _ T\
ail oig raarnea men uo. jl>u juu
hear?"
"Well, darling, I'll try, but I know I
will not succeed."
Thejirst evening of their arrival the
bride retired to her chamber and the
groom fell in with a poker party, with
whom he sat playing cards until 4
o'clock in the mcnlin^. His wife spent
the weary hours weeping. At last he
turned up and met his grief-stricken
tride with the hilarious question:
"Well, ain't I doing the old married
man like a daisy?"
She- never referred to the subject
? ? ? ? ^ U<N^rf Am alfaw f
again, iiUU CYUIJUUVIJ zxxix;tt anci cuuw
that they had just been married.?San
Francisco Chronicle.
The water of a small lake near the
month of the Sutro Tunnel, in Nevada,
is kept continuously warm by the hot
water which flows into it from the
mines. Recently the mine superintendent
sent to Florida for two alligafnrc
WKpti thev arrived at the nlace
the temperature of the place was 12 degrees
below zero and the alligators
were barely alive. Upon being put into
the warm lake, however, they revived
and are now growing raoidly.
? - TT- - ?
THE SNAKE INDIAN.
Bill Nye's Opinions of Shoshones, their
Manners and CustomsThere
are about 5,000 Snake or
Shoshone Indians now extant, the
greater part being in Utah and Nevada,
though there is a reservation in Idaho
and another in Wyoming.
JLtie btiosnone .inuian is reluctant to
ncccpt of civilization on the European
plan. He prefers the ruder customs
which hare been handed down from
father to son along with other hairlooms.
I use the word hairlooms in its
broadest sense.
There are the Shoshones proper and
-1 TTi t UI.l. 1 ~
: rue uces ana utans, 10 waiuu wave
i been added by some authorities the
j Comanches, and Moquis of New
i Mexico and Arizona, the Netelas and
! other tribes of California. The Shoshone,
wherever found, is clothed in
buckskin and blanket in winter, but
dressed more lightly in summer, wearing
nothing but an airof intense gloom
in August. To tfcis iie adds on nouilnys
a necklace made from the store
teeth of the hardy pioneer.
The Snake or Shoshone Indian is
passionately fond of the game known
as poker among us, and which, I learn,
is played with cards. It is a game of
j chance, though skill and a' thorough
knowledge ol firearms are of great use.
The Indians enter into'this game with
great zeal and lend to it the wonderful
energy which they have preserved
from year to year by abstaining from
the delibitating effects of manual labor.
Ail day long the red warrior sits in his
skin boudoir, nursing the sickly and
reluctant "fln^h," patient, silent and
koDeful. Through the cold of winter,
in the desolate mountains, lie continues
to
"Hope on, hope over,"
That he will "draw to fill." Far away
up the canyon he hears the sturdy
blows of his" wife's tomahawk as she
slaughters the grease wood and the
sa?:e brush for the fire in his gilded
hell where he sits and woos the lazy
Goddess of Fortune.
With the Shoshone, poker is not
alone a relaxation, the game wherewith
to wear out a long and listless evening,
but it is a passion, a duty and a devotion.
He has a face designed especial
ly tor poker, it never snows a sign/ 01
good or evil fortune. You might as
well try to win a smile from a railroad
right of way. The full hand, the fours,
threes, pairs and bobtail flushes are all
the same to him, if you judge by his
face. '
When he gets hungry he cinches
himself a little tighter and continues to
rastle" with fate. You look at his
smoky, old copper cent of a face and ;
you see no changc. You watch him as
he coins the last buckshot of his tribe ]
and later on when he goes forth a pau- i
per, and the corners of bis famine- J
^X&edipg- mouth have never moved. 1
His little~ljIa.CA, ^mofe^fl.amed eyesj
have never lighted with triumpn^-e^
joy. He is the great aboriginal stoic J
and sylvan dude. He does not smile^j
He does not weep. It certainly musts]
be intensely pleasant to be a wild, free^J
lawless, irresponsible, natural borirfool.
. 1 ~
The Shoshones proper include the*
Bannocks, which are again' subdivided5'
into theKoolsitakara, or Buffalo Eaters,,
on Wind Riven the Tookarika orMountain
Sheep Eaters, on Salmon
and Suabe Rivers, the Shoshocas or
White Knives, sometimes called Diggers
of the Humboldt River and the
Great Salt Lake basin. Probably the
Hokandikahs, Yahooskins and the.
Wahlpapes are subdivisions of the Digger
tribe. I am not sure of this, but I
shall, not suspend my business till I
pun flriii out abonfe it. If I cannot set
at a. great truth right oil'I waitpatientiy
and <:<> rirhi ou drawing my salary.
The Shoshones live on the government
and other small game. They will
eat anything when huugry, from a
bailalo iioffu to a woodtick.; The
Shoshone does not despise small things,
rle loves insects in any form. He loves
to make pets of them and to stndy
tneir ua.uii5 iu his uuuc i-uc.
Formerly, when a great Shoshone
warrior died, they killed his favorite
wife over his grave so that she could;
fo to the happy hunting grounds with
im, but it is not so customary now. I
tried to impress on an old Shoshone
brave once that they ought not to do
that. I tried to show him that it Would
encourage celibacy and destroy domestic
ties in his tribe. S nee that there
has been quite a stride toward reform
among them. Instead of killing the
widow on the death of her husband,
the husband takes such good care of
his health and avoids all kinds of intellectual
strain or physical fatigue, j
that late years there are no widows, j
bat widowers just seem to swarm in
the Shoshone tribe. The woods are full |
of them.
Now, if they would only kill the j
widower over the grave of the wife, the i
Indian's future would assumo a more
definite shape.
English Spinsters.
The number of single women in England
constantly increases. Many
thousands of women have to earn their
own living in place of spending and
husbanding the earnings of men. -They
pass their timo in an incomplete and
separate existence of their own, instead
of completing and embellishing the existence
of others. From the excess in
the number of women t tons anas taKe
service in factories, while others overcrowd
the ill paid ranks of needlewomen
and seamstresses. Even in the
richer classes there is the same inequality
of numbers, and those who are relieved
from the necessity of working
for their daily bread have yet to seek
some occupation, some interest in life
to relieve the tedium of an objectless
existence. Some pursue pleasure merely
this srtr>n nails tmnn the ar>
'J' r jt? j.petite;
others take to charitable pursuits,
doing, perchance, an equal
amount of good and of mischief. Those
whose tastes lead them to literary or
artistic pursuits are perhaps the least
unhappy. That a redundancy of unmarried
women exists is evident; but it
must not be regarded as caused wholly
or mainly by a disparity in the number
of the sexes. This, difference does not
at the most amount to six percent,
whereas the number of unmarried women
in England amounts not to six,but
nof.nn.llv to thirtvoer cent?that is to
' say, only two out of every three women
are .ever married. ~
A sociely has been formed in Boston
to help its members purchase a home or
commence business when they are married.
Eligibility to membership consists
simply in being unmarried. This
surprising scheme provides that a member
need have paid in only $2o0 to become
entitled to the full benefit of $1,*
000 at the end of eighteen months. As
the association hss just begun opera
tions, no benefit will become due untu
1886. The secretary claims a membership
of 100 already, and hopefully predicts
one of 12,000 within the next five
years
Catching the Morning Train.
1 find that one of the most serious objection
to living out of town lies ia the
difficulty experienced in catching the
early morning train by which 1 must
reach the city and my business. It is
by no means a pleasant matter, uuder
ai# circumstances, to have one's move
meat regulated by a time-table, and to
lie obliged to rise to breakfast and to
leave home at a certain hour, no matter
how strong the temptation to
delay may be. But sometimes the
horrible punctuality of the train is productive
of absolute suffering. For instance:
X look at my watch when I
get out of bed. and find tliat I have
ar>Darentlv ralimtv of- time, so I dress
rr - / ir ^
leisurely and sit down to the morning
meal in a frame of miud which is calm
and serene. Just as I crack my first
egg I hear the down train from Wilmington.
I start in alarm; and taking
out my watch I compare it with the
clgck and find that it is eleven minutes
slfcfr, and %it I have only five m'nutes
left in whicfr Wg^t to the depot.
get to the gate I find that I
lifre forgotten iny-du?ter and-*he bundle
my wife wanted me to take up to the
city to her aunt. Charging back I
i sSafccb them np and tear down the
gravel walk in,a frenzy. I do not like
to run through the village; it is undignified
and it attracts attention; but I
walk furiously. I go faster and faster
as-1 get-away from the main street.
When half the distance is accomplished
I actually do hear the whistle; there
can be no doubt about it this time. I
long to run, but I know that if I do I
frill excite that abominable speckled
dog sitting by the sidewalk a little dis
tance ahead of me. Then l really see
the train coming around the curve
close by the depot, and I feel that I
must make better time; and I do. The
dog immediately manifests an interest
in my movements. He tears after me
and is speedily joined by five or six
other dogs, which frolic about my legs
and bark furiously. Sundry small
. boys, as I go plunging past, contribute
to the excitement by whistling with
their fingers, and the men wlioare at
work upon the new meeting house stop
to look at me and exchange jocular remarks
with each other. I do feel ridiculous,
but I must catch that- train at
all hazards.
I become desperate when I have to
slacken my pace until two or three wo^men
who are standing on the sidewalk
discussing the infamous price of butter,
scatter to let mc pass. 1 arrive within
a few yards of the station with my
duster fling in the wind, with my coat
tails in a horizontal position, and with
the speckled dog nipping at my heels,
tejust as the train begins to move. I put
" on am extra pressure, resolving to get
*the train or perish, and I reach it just
as the last car is going by I seize the
hand-rail, I am jerked violently around,
"but finally, after a desperate effort, I
^get upon the step with my knees, and
""ItrKhanled in by the brakeman, hot, .
. mad. with mv trousers torn
/^across the knees, my legs bruisSdr&fld
Jjthree ribs of my umbrella broken.
P' Jast as I reach a comfortable seat in \
? -the car the train stops and then backs '
| up on the siding, where it remains for
; half an hour while the engineer repairs
l a dislocated valve. The Anger which
*bm:ns in my bosom as I rellect now upon
*w5at has proved to have been the folly
of that race, is increased as I look out
| of the window and observe the speck[
led dog engaged with his companions
I In an altercation over a bone. A man
I wtio permits his dog to roam about the
i streets nipping the legs of every one
I who happens to go at. a more rapid
gait than a walk, is unfitfor associating
with civilized beings. He ought to be
placed on a desert island in mid-ocean,
and be compelled to stay there.?Max
Adder, in Exchange.
Truth in a Plaiu Suit.
Elder Toots having got most of his
feet under the redhot stove, and Colonel
Cahoots having succeeded in knocking
down a bust of Plato and wrecking
$500 worth of relics, Brother Gardnor
arose and said:
"What I hanker artcr am to meet a
plumb up an' down man. Dar am
fjussons in dis club who wobble about
ike a loose wagon wheel. One day
dey greet you wid a |jin as soft as
June, an' de nex' day cfey doan' know
you as you pass on de street. I doan'
mean to hurt no man's feelin's, but I
nean to be plumb.
"If Whalebone Howker should come
ober to my house an' ax de loan of a
dollar I wouldn't keep him on de hooks
fur hall an hour fur a decision. I should
at once reply to him; 'Whalebone, de
man wno uses money airxiuu uj uio
wife at de wash-tub to buy lottery tickets
can't get no dollar outer me!' When
a man axes my religion I doan1 beat
aroun' de bush to find out if he has
found a short cut to heaben, but 1 denounce
myself as a Baptist an' take my
chances by de ole roacl
"When you think yes or no doan'
hesitate to say so. Doan' be leanin'
one way one day an' some odder way
on de nex\ De'man who knnws whar
to find you won't go away mad, eben if
you decide agin him. Our Samuel
Shin am one day gwine to be a statesman,
an1 on de.nex' he's gwine to open
a saloon wid a gilded ceilin'. One day
you will find him a Methodist an de
nex' you will see him devourin' a Univcrsalist
sermon. Meet him in de
mawnin1 an' he am a feroshus Republican;
cotch him in de afternoon an' he
am a good Dimocrat
"Be plumb up an* down. If you am
sot on bein' good stick to it If yon am
sot on bein1 bad doan' let de purleece
bluff you off. If you like a man tell
him he can have de use of your snowshovel
all summer. If you can't hoe
co'n wid him, ax him to buy or sell out
an1 take some odder cow-path. De
wobbly man am a pusson to be shunned.
Tryin1 to do bizness wid him am
wasted labor trown away."?Lime, Kiln
Club in Detroit Free Press.
Reaching for the Public.
"Talk about hard times!" ho seutiv-u
as he leaned back in his chair at one o
the down town restaurants. "Why,
gentlemen, it's all in knowing how to
reach the public."
"Yon used to speculate in grain, I
believe?" observed the man at his
right:- 1
"Jl did, ana i xost money. x nw w &
hole eleven months in a year and hard
>up**the remainder. I didn't know how
to reach the .public."
; "And now?"
_ "Well, I am on the road exhibiting a
fat woman who weighs 370 pounds?
admission. 15 cents. I have no margins
to put up, dividends are declared with
the most annoying regularity, and if
anybody disputes her weight she has a
lo-jr? r>nr<at weitrhin? 210 pounds to
*VM>* vw*vw? (3 o *
bring her up to the mark."?Wall
Street fleics. . ^
Queen Victoria, according to an official
announcement, has never eaten a
piece of cake.
X. -
HE GOT A SEAT.
How a Philosophical Irishman Secured a !
Seat in a R-iltway Car.
There were a number of parlor-cars
and two ordinary passenger coaches on
a train wlii'-h left New York for Philadelphia
at 7 o'clock a few nights ago.
T2very seat in the passccgcr-coaches
was occupied in oue way aud another
when the last boat arrived from
New York. Among the people who
->omo ?f. t.'io l.oct runmpnt w:is a tierv
and untamed Irishman, whose face was
fringed with a wealth of ccru hair. He
walked through the smoking-car, found
every seat occupied by two% men, and
then burst into the next car impetuously.
The air at once became redolent
if rum TTr> r-nst his eve lm and down
on either side of the car and saw that
every seat was occupied by parcels,
luggage, feet, or the sprawliug forms of
passengers. One or two scats had been
turned, and one gray-haired man who
had a specially lank complement of
legs, succeed'd in occupying two benchas
by dint of stretching himself out like
an octopus, and ingeniously filling in the
spaces not occupied, by himself on the
benches with bits of luggage, Xhelrisn?uan
directed toward him a glare of unusual
ferocity. He walked the long
length of the car twice, but the passengers
carefully avoided his gaze. Apparently
they were all sleeping serenely.
Then he "leaned against the door and
carelessly placed his hand on the stove.
He removed the hand, walked to. the
other end of the car, and washed his
hands cai*elcssly with water from the
ice-tank. The train was now speeding
? Ta?./.att .Qfill n a />rin
uuiusa LUC UXZLBVJ uicauvtfo. wuAi uv vuv
offered to share his jseat with the latest
arrival, and the Irishman went back and
leaned against the door once more. Finally
he raised his voice so that it could
be heard a "considerable distance into
the next car and remarked, with an air
of philosophical observation:
"People don't seem to realize that this .
here is second-class. It is just the samef
and the lirst-class cars are in the rear.
The second-class chumps which is now
* i.1.. x ? ^ ?_ t,..: ^ ^ ^ ?
occupying uie siues puis <ju uviub a.s
many lugs as the first-class ladies and
gintlemen behind us. That is because
tiicy are not lirst-class ladies and gintlemen
themselves, but simply second-class
chumps."
A silence of several minutes followed
this speech, which was finally broken
by two or three' men moving towards
the corners of their seats and placing
their bags and satchels on the floor.
rhen the voice or tne man in cne rear
rose again above the hum of the wheels.
"There is no hog like an old hog,'1
he remarked, sententiously. "A man
would think that a gray beard and bald
head would go along with wisdom and
experience, but it ain't always the case.
There is bald-headed men in this world
who wouldn't give a man a lift to save
their sowls, though their own business
mnv bo saving sowls. Any bald-headed
man with a gray beard who will wear a
preachers clothes and occupy four seats
in a second-class car, while workingmen
are standin' up, is a large, fat, bevel?dgedhog."
Ol'he gray-haired man who occupied
th&__two -be-BChes and who wore" the
habiliments of a~7rie??]r"man rose here,
looking very red in thefkce7 and-hui-- ried
forward into the smoking car. A ;
moment later he came back, followed
by the brakeman, who wore the usual
easy-going nonchalcnt, and blase ex- ]
pression of a man of his calling. I
"This man." sputtered the clergyman,
angrily, pointing to the red-head- j
ed Irishman, "has been indulging in the
grossest sort of personal abuse .toward
the passengers in this car, directing the
bulk of it toward me." * 1
The brakeman dived down into the i
inner recesses of his clothes, produced a '
paper of tobacco, partook thereof gen- <
erously, and said pleasantly to the man I
in the red wiskers: )
"What's up, Irish?!V i
"I was making a few general re- 1
marks about the hogs that travel on
this road and occupy four seats when ?J
thev only have a right to occupy one/' '
"Who does it?" <
"Your frind, the praist there." '
The brakeman glanced down, turned I
the forward seat back into its proper 1
form, tossed the clergyman's bundles ]
on the rear sent, and then said to that 1
gentleman: '
/'You're traveling on a free pass, J
anyhow, aren't you? Yes? Now
you behave yourself just exactly as if '
you were paying your fare, will you? '
That's all the road asks of you."?N. 1
Y. ?? . <
o ]
They Got theWJne. '
"Of convso it is awfully funny to ;
shout 'Lock up the wine cellar, Mary, i
for the plumber is coming,' " said one i
of the bi?r-bill gentlemen to a reporter, (
"but it isn't a pleasant remark for a \
plumber to hear."
"Is it true that a plumber can empty ]
a barrel of whisky while he is soldering j
up a pin-hole in a water pipe?" -
"Nonsense! Mind, I don't say that <
wlien a plumber is wording in a rich .
man's cellar where there are barrels of
liquor that he won't take a drink now
and then?that is, some of them will."
"How is it with yourself?"
"Oh, I sometimes turn the faucet, but ?
never to take more thai: a di'ink or two .
in a day, excepting once/' )
"When was that?" ]
"You won't put that in the paper, !
mill ?" I
TY AA-fc J VU.
*'Sui*e," ]
' Then. Til tell you all about. Three
or four years ago Jim and I had a job
up on Woodward avenue. "When we
went down into the cellar tho servant
girl followed ue, took a brass key that
* ^ J ! - J .'i.
was Hanging on a naii a.nu carueu .to
np stairs. There was a cask of French
brandy, a barrel of bourbon, another J
of port and another of sherry, and
there was a barrel-room locked, full of <
bottled liquors. It made us smack our !
lips, just to look around at the barrels <
and bottles, but when it came to tak- !
ing a drink, the liquor might as well ;
have been in the moon. The barrels '
all had these patent lock faucets in
- * t- - J 4-U*
tnem, ana me giri aau. c;uiicu uu mo
key. '
"We worked away all the forenoon
with nothing but water to drink, but i
Jim swore that he would have some of
that wine in the afternoon, though I
couldn't see how he was going to get
it; I hadn't got ray trade learned then.
Pretty soon after we went to work in
the afternoon Jim pulled about a yard
of small rubber tubing out of his
pocket, hunted up an empty fruit jar,
knocked out a bung -and siphoned out
a couple quarts of port Maybe we
didn't get so drunk that we had to quit
work!"? Detroit Free Press
The proportion of those who attend
public worship to the bulk of the population
in the following four European
'Ratlin On mn nnrmlation
AO A/V411U vvvj "|- ?
1,000.000; Hamburg o.OOO, population
400,000; London 3,000,000, population
4,000,000; Glasgow 500,000, population
700,000.
1
\
X
% :
The Ruling Passion.
"Just before the battle of Fredricksburg,
knowing that a large number
of Pennsylvania troops were with Burnside.
and" that a general engagement
between the two armies was imminent,
I went to Washington and asked for
tr.irisnnrtfttion to the front A tu<r was
placed at my disposal, and I reached
the army in time to witness the battle.
The terrible slaughter of our troops on
that disastrous day we all know.
"When our defeat was beyond question
I boarded the tug and hastened to
Washington, hoping, as railroad communication
was impossible, to forestall
the exaggerated rumors that might be
expeetecl, and to alleviate*even in only
a slight degree the shock of unwelcome
tidings. It was considerable past midnight
when I reached Washington, but
I proceeded directly to the White
House. It was no surprise to me to
to learn that the President had not retired.
I was immediately ushered into
his presence. As he accosted me and
read in my face the character of the
news I had to communicate he sank
into a chair with a sigh of distress."
"What news. Governor?" said he.
"Bad! very bad."
"Tell me air." lie rested his head on
his hands while I gave, the outline and
the results of the battle. He heaved a
heavy sigh and looked at me with an
expression of intense suffering, and I
remarked: '
"T heartily wish I rnicht be a wel
come messenger of good news instead
?that I could tell you how to conquer
or get rid of these rebellious States."
Looking up quickly, with a marked
change of expression, Lincoln said:
"That reminds me of the two boys in
Illinois who took a short cut across an
orchard, and did not become aware of
the presence of a vicious dog until it
was too late to reach either fence. One
was spry enough to escape the attack
by climbing a tree, but the other
started around the tree, with the dog
in hot pursuit, until, by making smaller
circles than it was possible for his
pursuer to make, he gained sufficiently
to grasp the dog's tail, and held with
desperate grip until nearly exnaustea,
when he hailed his companion and
called to him to come down.
" 'What for?' said the boy.
" *1 want you to help me let this dog
go.' |
"If I could let them go," said the \
President, in conclusion; "but that is
the trouble. I am compelled to hold
on to them and make them stay.?Xcw 1
York Telegram.
The Street Car Fiend.
C'nrto-ivis-jmori m-fl rniifft litfl
vw*40kvvv****'" w "1
other people. They enjoy their little 1
jokes and like to rap one another on 1
what may seem tender snots, occasion- 1
ally. Robertson, ot' Kentucky, who
suceecds Proctor Knoct, is, in \he absence
of Belford, of Colorado, the red- i
de.st heade'd, reddest faced, reddest
whiskered man in the House.
Riding up to the Capitol in a bob-tail i
car a day or two ago were Robertson I
and a number of other members, mostly
from the West. They were passing ,
jokes in a promiscuous way, killing ,
time as the raw-k^^tuLcar--hqrsg^ic^g-" *,j
sred them slowly up the hill.
"I don't know whether you eT?r <
heard of it, gentlemen," said one of the
party, "but they have a law out in Ken- (
tucky quite peculiar to the state, and
which has mad..* my friend Robertson, j
liere quite famous m a certain way--*""lt [
is rattier a peculiar law,;: tys-conunuea, ,
as everybody in -rtie" car, including
some ladies who chanced to be along,
began to look toward Robertson with ]
interest, "and is, in brief, that any wo- :
nan who may be sentenced to be hang- 1
2d may be pardoned if anybody will, at I
the last moment, come forward and *
marry her. It happened," he contin- 1
ned.with some gusto, as the interest
oegan to grow with more intense and [
Robertson be?ran to crow more embar- j
rassed as tlie center of observation,
"that a woman was to be hanged there I
sue day. At the last moment, when ?
;hey had her upon the cart under the 1
gallows, the usual question was asked |
-vhether there was any man there who
?/ould save her "from death by marryng
her. Robertson was there, and,
;euder-hearle'd fellow that he is, came
:o the front and raid, 'Yes. I will-"'
Fhe woman was blindfolded. She was
.old of the oiier, and began, naturally,
:o ask for a description of the man she
,vas to marry to escape death. They
1 escribed him as well as they could?
lis age, his size, his shapely hand and
ixquisite foot, and manly form, when
suddenly she asked the color of his hair
md beard. An attendant whispered
:hc truth in her ear. 'Then drive on
;he kyart, please.' rhe said, - and that
;nded Robertson's matrimonial ventires."
mere was a roaroi laugutenu wmcu
Llobertson, who knows how to take a
oke, joined and the crowd hurried out
is the car reached the foot of the Capi.ol
steps.?Washington, Cor. St. Louis
i'Oct-lJis-puLcJi.
Lucrative Positions.
Yanderbilt is determined that his
sons-in-law shall become business-men.
A.s soon as young Twombley married
liis daughter he gave him the job of
loading and unloading the freight in
New York. This is really an extensive
department in the railway system and
requires a large force of clerks and laborers,
and also a number of steamers
and barges. The profit from this specialtv
is estimated at 880,000 a year, and
this puts Twombley on an independent
basis. The two other sons-in-law
(Shepard and Sloan) are both able and
prosperous business-men, the former
having a lucrative law practice, while
the latter is one of the most extensive
earp.et-dealers in the country. Dr.
Seward weoD, who muin?utii? vuuuj;- >
2st of the daughters, has never made
medical practicc a success, and his 1
father-in-law has been desirous of pro- 1
viuing for him out of that vast railway
patronage which he still controls. The
recent resignation of Tillinghast, Presi- i
lent of the sleeping-car company, has
afforded a suitable opening, and the
doctor now abandons his profession in 1
favor of a sinecure berth worth 810,000
n vftnr. There are few men that can <
make such rich provision for those who
many into the family. ' i
A Frenchman sent a circular to all
his friends asking why they cultivated
a beard. Anion'' the answers nine j
stated, '-because I wish to avoid shav- ]
ing;" twelve "because I do not wish to '
catch cold;" live "because I wish to ;
T *
CUUUCU.1. UUU. LC.VIU, bnu v. _
wish to conceal the length of me nose;"
six "because I am a soldier;" twenty- ;
one "because I was a soldier;" sixtyfive
"because my wife likes it;" twen- 1
ty-eight "because my love likes it;"
fifeon ftrtcRrpred that thev wore no !
beards.
A calf with five legs is one cf the
curiosities to be seen at Dalton, Ga.
'^?131
GLEANINGS.
For half a century 110 Cabinet officer ..
has reachcd the Presidency.
Preston County,West Virginia,boasts
of a iive-leggcd two-tailed horse.
The pulsation of a cat's heart is said
to be from 110 to 129 per minute.
statistics snow tnai clergymen nyo
about two years longer than lawyers.
It is estimated that the forests of
Scotland yield 10,000 deer annually.
The Arab compels his horss to feed
from the ground in order to maintain
the curve of the backbone.
The latest rumor regarding the earth
is that it will be one huge globe of ice
in 3,000,000 years from date.
mi _ "l j. a.?
jLne longest coaunuous uuer imunu
is that of silk. An ordinary cocoon of
a well-fed silkworn will often reol 1,000
yards.
Queen Victoria's private fortune is
only $8o,000,000. It is believed it will
suffice to pay the debts of the Prince of
Wales.
"With a pen of <];old dipped in the
oil of gladness"is the way the Nebraska
edrtor introduced his Now Year!*editorial.
?
Senator Sewell, of New Jersey, is
said to use more ink in signing his ~ name
than any man in that brancn of
the Congress.
Billingsgate, the great market
through which London buys her principal
fish supply, delivers monthly an - !,
average of 11,000 tons.
?
The coldest weather ever experienced
in the Northwest was at Fort Benton,
in 1880, when the thermometer marked
59 degrees below zero.
A novel ground for divorce is offered
by an Indiana husband, who counts up
eighty-one times when his wife lias
scalded him with hot teaChinese
exports of tea to Great Britain
last year fell off 11,000,000 pounds,
and to the United States 4,000,000
pounds, as compared with 1883.
At the Calcutta exhibition the second
prize for butter was awarded to a fine
sample of American oleomargarine.
Some one spoiled a good joke and the
judges reconsidered the award.
jSfot high-toned, but human?the . ^ ft
quiet satisfaction with which the in- ^ -J
dustrious editor beholds his ruthless , .
contemporaries stealing his glaring errors
along with his valuable facts. : - *
Tennessee has 10,000 square miles of ' /' O
timber land which is as yet practically
untouched; a tract larger by 1,500
square miles than Massachusetts,Rhode
ftyl o T> /-3 o n ^ nnf
LOXvkJ-i-VA VVUUV^WVUI. IV^V/ LUU-L
Statistics published by the Ohio Divorce
Reform League show that over
two thousand divorces are now granted
annually in that State. This is an increase
of 233 per cent in nineteen
F-ears- * ' .Vpgj
Thq, City of Mexico has five railroads,
r% c-vJAnslisl cfr*obf ACT* OYrcf-nm
wires to all the world, a telephone serrice
with 700 subscribers, six daily
newspapers, electric lights and the best
bath houses in America. - ' \ -;1 r
The Brtisli drink bill for 18S3 foots
ap ?028,386,375. The quantity aggregates
1,032,142,158 gallons. This would
uaake a lake a mile long and a mile
rfkl-e. with a depth of thirty-five feet, or
mffi^retlMo^pat men-of-gar. y ^
The London 2^'cics has agvieeg Ux^ijQ*?- ?- .
jifect that the American Government .;
l>os advanced claims to land in the Fiji
r>laniis. in behalf of its subiects who
settled there before the annexation of
the territory by this British.
London mail carriers now call at
private residences for parcels, the same
is Jo express messengers in this country.
A scarlet card is furnished by the
postal authorities, which,when displayed
in the windov/, insures a call from
:hc postman. ' ,
A mechanical curiosity has just been
jomplelod ?by a shoemaker in Utica,
V. V-. ^nnsistinsr of two houses, each
7 O ' -
six feet .square, and containing wooden
igures working, at trades. There are
nearly 200 of these fibres, and the
notive power is a small three-horse /
power engine. -~4i
A pamphlet has lately been published
in London advocating the lining oi
people who have more than three children.
There is no question but that
the theories advanced- by Mrs. Besant
lisrp rrri H n rrl 1 v t?fcr>r> n. verv " strong
hold on the people of England.
When a TiiiCetan lover parts from
his sweetheart, after calling upon her,
he twirls his cap over his head, bows in
reverence, and then puts out his tongue
to its full length, the latter performance
having the same affectionate significance
as the parting kiss between lovers oi
other countries.
A properly developed, full-grown man
weighing 154 pounds ought, according
to Professor Huxley, to consume daily
5,000 grains of lean beefsteak, 6,000
grains of bread, 7,000 grains of milk,
3,000 grains of potatoes, 600 grains of
butter and 22,903 grains of water. '
'Outside of 2,000 or 3,000 German and
Frenchmen who brought communistic
thcoiies with them from Europe, the
New York Sun does not believe that
there are 500 Communists in New York,
and in the Union as a whole the num
oer is lnsigmncanuy siuuxi iu
son with the total bgdy of workers.
In a Dakota town a curiosity in the
shape of a chicken heart was, from its
large and peculiar size, opened for examination,
and in the center of the
heart was found a grain of wheat or
rice, witii sprouts snooting out from
the small white grain, which, of course,
caused the enlarged, odd-looking heart. - - "7
The marbie trade of San Francisco is
worth ?4,000,000 annually, one-fourth
of which sum has heretofore been paid
to the Carrara Quarry, of Italy. With
the new San Francisco company operating
in the Alaska quarries, the city
hopes to purchase hereafter its entire
supply from its own citizens, and at the
same time to get a marble of eqnal '
beauty as heretofore.
Alf Prater, of Gainesville, Ga., has . '
constructed a model of the Brooklyn
bridge. It is four feet wide, thirty feet
long, and weighs 750 pounds. Three
hundred ar.d lifty figures are kept moving
on it, representing men, women,
* - J 1 ?
rays, carriages, cars, etc., aau uuuex
the bridge are boats in real water, mating
the scone wonderfully like the real
bridge.
The height of the Arabian carpal at
the shoulders is bet veen six and seven
feet, and the color of the rather coarse
hair is of various shades of brownIhe
first attempt to amount one calls
for no little dexterity,as the usual mode
is to bestride the animal while he is on
his knees, and it is no easy matter for
a novice to maintain the correct "een
ter oi gravity" when the animal rises.
The British soldiers, however, have
entered this novel service with considerable
enthusiasm, and have been disposed
to make pets of their new com- .. j
panions, although they report thus far
it seems to be a most "unsocial beast."
?Toronto Globe.
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