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BErMrfiTmftE. THE -BROOKLYN *DI VINE'S SUN. DAY SERMON. Subject : 'The Sunshine ofReligioo." Tsocr: "Her ways are ways of pleasant v*$s~n-Proverbs hu, 17. Von have all hes rd of God's only begotten ? Son. Have you heard of God's daughter? She was born in heaven. Sha came down over- the hills ot our world. She had queenly step. On her brow was celestial radiance. Her voice was music. Her name is Religion. My text introduc?s her. "Her ways are ways of pleasantness; and all her paths are peace." But what .is religion? The fact is that theological study has had a different effect upon me from the effect sometimes pro? duced. Every year I tear out another leaf from my theology until I have only three oz four leaves left-in other words, a vary brief and plain statement of Christain bahai. An aged Christian minister said: "Whan I was a young man, I knew everything; when I got to be thirty-five years of age, in my ministry I bad only a hundred doctrines of religion; when I got to be forty years of age, I had only fifty doctrines of religion; when I got to be sixty years of age, 1 had only ten doctrines of religion, and now I am dying at seventy-five years of age, and there is only one thing I know, and that is that Christ Jesus came into the world to save dinners" And so I have noticed in the study of God's word and in my contemplation of tiie character of (Sod and of the eternal world that it is necessary for me to drop this part of my belief and that part o ? my belief as being nonessential, while I cling to th* one great doctrine that man is a sinner, a*** Christ is his Almighty and Divine Saviour. Now I take these three or four leaves ol my theology, and ? trad that, in the first place, and dominant above all ochers, is the sunshine of religion. When Igo into a room I nave a passion for throwing open all the shutters. I hat is what ? want io do this morning. We areaps to throw so much of the sepulchral into our religion and to dose the shutters an i to pail down the blinds that it is only ?iirough here and there a ere- - vice that th* light streams. The religion of the Lord -Jesus Christ is a religion of joy in? describable and unutterable. Wherever J can find a bell I mean to ring it. ll there are any in this bouse this morn? ing who are disposed to hold on to their melancholy and gloom, let them now depart this service oefore the fairest and the bright? est and the most raiiaat bsing of ail the universe comes in. God's Sonnas left our world, but God's daugher is here. Give her room. Hail, princess of heaven!* Hail, daughter of tue Lord God Almighty ! Come in and make this house thy throneroom. . In sc-tting forth this idea the dominant theory of religion is one of sunshine. I hardly know where to begin, for there are so many thoughts that rusa upon my soul. A mother saw her little child seated on the floor in the sunshine arl with a spoon ia aer hand. She said, **My darling, what are you doing there?" "Oh " replied the child, "i'm getting a spoonful of this sunshine." Would Gol that to-day I might present yon with a gleaming chalice of this glorious, everlasting Gospel sunshine! First of all, I find a great neal of sunshine in Christian society. I do not know of anything more doleful than the companionship of the mere fun makers of the world-the Thomas Hoods, the Charles Lambs, the Charles Matthews of the world-the men whose entire business it is to make sport; They make others Tango, but if you will examine their autobi? ography or biography you will find that down in their soul there was a terrific dis? quietude. Laughter is no sign of happiness, 'lue manaic laughs. The hyena laughs. Th? loos among the Adironaacks langa. Thc drunkard, dashing his decanter against the wall, laugh?. There is a terrible reaction from all sinful amusement and sinful merriment. Saca men are cross the next day. They snap at you on exchange, or they pass yon, not recognizing yon. Long ago I quit mere worldly society for the reason it was so dull, so inane and so stupid. My nature is veracious of joy. 1 must have it. I always walk on the sunny side of the street, and for that reason I have crossed over into Christian society. I like tl- eir mode of repartee better; 1 like their style of amusement netter. They live longer. Christian people, I sometimes notice, live on when by all natural law they eught to have died. I have known persons who have con* tinned in their existence when the doctor said.they ought to have been dead ten years. Every day of their existence was a defiance of the laws of anatomy an i physiology, bus they had this supernatural vivacity of the Gospel in their soul, and that kept then alive. Put ten or twelve Christian people in a room for Christian conversation, ani you will from a to 10 o'clock hear more resound? ing glee, see more bright strokes ol wit, and And more thought and profound satisfac? tion than in any merely worldly party. Now, when I say a "worldly party" I mean that to which you are invited, because un? der all the circumstances of the case it is the best for you to be invited, and to which yea go because under all circumstances of the case it is better that you go, and leaving the shawls on the second floor you go to the parlor to give formal salutation to the host and the hostess, and then move around -pending the whole evening ia the discus? sion of the weather, and ia apology for treading on lon; trails, a ad ia effort to keep the corners of the mouth up t> the siga of pleasure, and going around with an idiotic he-he about nothing, until tba CDila tion is served, and thea after the collation is served going back again into th- parlor to resume the weather, and then at the close going at a very late hour to the host and hostess and assuring them that you have had a most delightful evening, and thea pass ingdowu off the froat steps, the slam of the door the only satisfaction of the evening. Oh, young man, come from the country to spend your days in city life, where are you going to spend your evenings? Let mc tell you, while there are many places of in? nocent worldly amusement, it is most wise for you to throw your body, miad au i soul into Christian society. Come to me at the dose of five years and tell me what has bern the result of this advice. Bring with you the young man who refused to take the ad? vice and who went into sinful amusement. He will come dissipated, shabby in apparel, indisposed to look any one in the eyes, moral character eighty-five per cent. off. You will come with principle settled, coan tenar ni frank, habits good, soul saved and ali tba inhabitants of heaven, from the lowest angel up to the archangel and clear past him to the Lord God Almighty, your coadjutors. This is not the advice "of a misanthrope. There is no man in the house to who: a th* world is brighter than it is to me. It is not the advice of a dyspeptic-my digestion ts perfect; it is not the advice of a man who cannot understand a joke or who prefers a funeral; ft is not the advice of a woruout maa, but the advice of a maa who can see this world in all its brightness, and. consii ering myself competent in judging what is good cheer, I tell the multitudes of young men in this house this moraine that there is nothing in worldly associations so grand and so beau ti. ul and so exhilarant as in Christian society. I know there is a great deal of talk ab >ut the self denials of the Christian. I have to tell you that where the Christian has one self denial the man of the world has a thor.* >and self denials. The Christian is not com? manded to surrender anything that is worth keeping. Bat what does a man deny him? self who denies himself the religion a Christ. He denies himself pardon of sin; he denies himself peace of conscience; he de? nies himself the joy of tho Holy Ghost; he denies himself a comfortable death pillow; he denies himself the glories of heaven. Dc not talk to me aboul the sale denials of the Christian life*. Wnere there is on J in th* Christian life there are a thousand in the life of the world. "Her ways are ways of pleasantness. " Again, ? find a great deal of religious sun? shine in Christian and divine explanation To a great many people life is an inexplica ble tangle. Things turn out differently frorr. what was supposed. There is a useless wo. m?n in perfect health. There is an indus? trious and consecrated woman a complet? invalid. Explain that. There is a bad m^r with $30,000 of income. There is a zoo 1 man with $800 of income. Why ls that? There is a foe of society who lives on. doini: all the the damage he can, to seventy-five years of cge, uni here is a Christian father, faithful in every department of life, at thirty-ave years taken away by death, his family left helpless. Explain that. Ob. there is no sentence that oftener drops from your lips than this; "I cannot understand rfc I can? not understand it." Well, now, religion comes in jost at that point with its illumination and its explana? tion. There is a business man who has lost his ent re fortune. The week before he lost his fortune there were twenty carriages that stopped at the door of his mansion. Th? week after he lost his fortune all the car? riages you count on one finger. The week before financial trouble began people all took off their hats to him as he passed dovrn the street. The week his financial prospects were unier discussion people just touched their hats without anywise beniing the rim. The week that h3 was pronounced msovleat people just jolted their heads as they passed, not tipping their hats at all, and the week the sheriff ?o!d him out all his friends were looking in the stor* windows as they went down past him. Now, while the world goa? away from a mao when be is io financial distress* the ra? I - ? j Jisrio? of Christ comes to him and s 'x on are sick an i your sickness is to moral purification; you are bereaved; < wanted ia some way to take your fa mil heaven, and He must begin somewhere, " so He took the one that was most beaut and was most ready to go." I do not that religion explains everything in this but I do say it lays down certain princi which are grandly consolatory. You ki business men often telegraph in ciph The marchant in San Francisco telegra to the merchant in Kew York certain in mation in ciphers which no other man that line of busings caa understand, the merchant in San Francisco has the to the cipher, and the merchant in New Y has the kev to the cipher, and on that formation tran-; nitte i tirera are enterpri involving hun ir 3 ls of thouin is of dolla Now th> pr>vii?nc>> of life sonetia seem to be a Sinieless rig narole, a myste ou? cipher, but; ?*\>d has a kay t > taxi ciph? aa i the Christian a key to th it cip ier, a 1 though, he may hardly be able tospell out t meaning, he gets enough of the meaning I uoderstaud that it is for th? best. Now j there notsun s aine in that? Is there n pleasure ia that? Far beyond laughter, i is nearer the fountain of tears thai ow:s: j ons demonstration. Hive you r*?ver eri. I for joy? There ai*e tears whic^ara etern j rapture in distillation, j There are hundreds of people io this hou who are walking day by day in the sublir 1 satisfaction that all is *>r the best, all thin working together for good for their soi How a man can g?* edon% through this li without the expfonfrtioa is to me a myster What ! is tb** child gone forever? Are y< never to g** it back? Is your property go forever/ .Is your soul to ba bruised and be tried forever? Have you no expia n a t io no Christian explanation, an i yet not maniac? But when yon have the religion Jesus Christ in your soul, it explains ever thing so far as it is best tor you to un le stand. ?ou loos off ia life, and your so is full of thanksgiving to Go i t lat yon a so much better off than you might be. A man pissed down the Street witho aay shoes aad said: **I have no shoes?. Isi it a hardship that I have no shoes? Other p pie have shoes; ao shoes, no shoes," until I saw a man who had no feet. Thea 1 learned, a lesson. You ought to thank G for what He doe?, instead of grumbling f what He does not. God arranges all tl weather ia this world-the spiritu weather, the moral weather as well as tl natural weather. "What kind of weath will it be to-day?*' said some one to a farms The farmer replied, "It will be such weath as I like." "What do you mean by that asked the other. **W?0?" said the ?arrae **it will be such weather as pleases the Los. and what pleases the Lord pleases me." Oh, the sunshine I the suai hine of Cari tian explanation! Here is some one bea lia over the grave of the dead. What is goin to be the consolation? The flowers yo strew upon the tomo? Oh, no! The se! vices read at the grave? On, ao. Tc chief consolation oa that grave is wnat fall from the throne of GoJ. Sunshine, glori ons sunshine. Resurrection sunshine. Again, I find a great deal of tue sunshia of this Bible aad of our religion ia tn climacteric joys that are to come. A mai who gets np and goes out from a coe cert right after the opening voluntary has been played, and before the prim donna sings, or before the orcttestr begins, has a better idea of that COUCH than that man has who supposes that th chief joys of religion are m this world. W here have only the first note of the eterna orchestra. Vfre shall ia that worli have th joy of discovery. We will ia five minute catch up with the astronomers, the geolc gists, the scientists, the philosophers of al ages, who so far surpassed us ia this worli We caa afford to adjoura astronomy an geology and many of the sciences to the nes world, because we shall there have better ar. paratus and better opportunity. I mast study these sciences so far as t< help me in my work, but beyond that J must ?ive myself to saving my owusoa and saving the souls of others,kaowing toa in one flash of eternity we wid catea it all. Oh, what an observatory in which to stu 13 astronomy heaven will be, nos by power o? telescope, but by superoacaral visioa; aa J if there be somethiag doubtful lQ,0J0,Od. miles away, bv one stroke of the win; yon are there,* by another strobe of the wing you are back again, aad all ia less time thar i tell you, catchiag it all ia oae fl ish cl eternity. And geology! What a place that will be to study geology, when the world is being picked to p.ece? as easily as a schoolgirl ia botanical lessons pulls the leaf from th? corolla ! What a place to stu ly architecture, amid tne thrones aad the palaces and the cathedrals-St. Mark's and St. .Paul's rook? eries in comparison. Sometimes you wish you could make tie tour of the wno'.e earth, go" ag arouad a< others have gone, but you have uot the time; you have not the means. You will make that tour yet during oae musical pause ia the eternal anthem. I say these thiugs for the comfort of those people Nvho are abridged in their opportunities-those people to whom life is a humdrum, who toil aad work, aad toil and work, and aspire after knowl? edge, but have no time to get it, and say: "it 1 bad the oDportunities which other peo? ple have, how f would till ray mind aad con! with grand thoughts ? Be not discouraged, my friends. You are going to the university yet. Death will only matriculate you into tb.9 royal college of the universe. What a sublime thing it was that Dr. Thorn wei', of South Carolina, uttered in his last dying moments : As he looked up' he said, "lt opens; it expands; it expands." Or as Mr. Toplady, the author of "Rock o! Ages,*' in his last moment, or dariag his last hours, looked up aad said, as though he saw something supernatural, ''Light F' and thea as he came on nearer the dying moment, his countenance more luminous, he cried, "Light r" and at the very moment of his de? parture lifted both han ls, something super? natural in his countenance as he oriel, "Light !:' Only anot-Jer name for sunshine. Besides that we shall have all the pleasures of association. We will go right up ia the froat of God without aay fright. All our sin:; gone, there will be nothing to bo fright? ened about. There our old Christian friends witt troop around us. Just as now one of your sic* friends goes away to Florida, the "land ot flower*, or to the south of France, and you do not see him for a long while, and after a while you meet him, and the hollows under the eyes are all filled, and the appetite has come back, aad the crutch has beer thrown away, and he is so changed you hard . ly know him. You say. "Why, I never saw you look so well.*' He says: "I couldn't help bat be well. I have been sailing these rivers and climbing these mountains, and that's bow I got this elasticity. 1 never was so well." Ob, ray friends, your departed loved ones are only away for their health in a latter climate, and when you meet them they will 1)6 so chanced you will hardly know them they will be so very much ohauseJ, and aftjr awhile, when you are assured that they are your friends, your departe 1 friends, you will say: "Why, where is that cough? Where is that paralysis? Where is that pneumonia? Where is that consumption?"' And he will say: "Ou, f am entire!v w.;ll! There are no sick ones iii this country. I have been ranging tnese hill", ani hence this Alastlcity. I have been here now twenty years, aud not one sick ona ii'iv.? I .^11 - wv are all well in this climate."' And thea I stand at the gale of the celes? tial city to see the procession co.ne ?ut. and I a long procession of little children with their arms full of flowers, and then I see a procession of kings and priests moving in ceie^tial pageantry-a loug procession, but no black tnssele i vehicle, no mourning group, and I say: ..How strange it is! Where is your Greenwood? where is your Laurel Hill? where is your Westminster Abbey?" And they shall cry, "There are no graves here." And then listen for the tolling of the old belfries of heaven. th9 old belfries of eternity. I listen to hear them toll ?r the dead, but they toll not for the dead. They only strike up a silvery chime, tower to tower, east gate to west zat?. as the>* rin^ ont, "They shall hunger nc morp, neither thirst any more, neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat, for the Lamb which is iu the midst of the throne shall lead them to living fountains; of water, and God shrill wipe away all tears from their eyes." Oh, ungiove your band and give it to rn? la congratulation on that ssene! I feel as if I would shout. 1 will shout halleluiah! Dear Lord, forgive me that I ever com? plained about anything. If alt this is be? fore us, who cares for anything but God and heaven and eternal brotherhood? Take the crape off the doorbell. Your loved ones are only away for their health in a land am orosial. Come, Lowell Mason; come, Iscac "Watts, and give us your best hymn ab ->ut joy celestial. What is the use of postponing our heaven any longer? Let it begin now, and whoso? ever hath a harp let her thrum it, and who? soever hath a trumpet let him blow it, and . whosoever hath an organ let him give us a luli diapason. They crowd down the air, j spirits blessed, moving in cavalcade of tri- : umph. Their chariot wheels whirl in th? 1 Sabbath sunlight. They come. Hair, ar- ' mies of God I Halt until we are ready to ! join the battalion of pleasures that never j die. i Ob, my friends, it would take a sermon as J long as eternity to teil the jovs that are 1 coming to us. I just set open the su j?hi:iy door. Come in, all ye'disciples of the world who have found the world a mockery. ; Come in, all ye disciples of the dance, au 1 j see the bounding feet pf this heavenly glaJ- I ness. Come io, ye ?'seiples of worldly amusement, and see the stage where kings j are the actors, and burning worlds the foot? lights, and thrones the spectacular, I Arise, ye dead in sin, for'tais is tba morn? ing of resurrection. The joys of heaven submerge our sou!. i pull out the trumpet stop. In thy presence there is a fullness ot joy; at thy right hand there are pleamares forevermore. Blessed are the saint* beloved ot ?odi Washed ?re their robes ia Jesars blood; Brighter than angels, lo! they ?Wae. Their glories splendid and eablime. My soul anticipates the <toy. Would stretch her windsurf ?oar away To aid the song, the palm to bear. And bow the chief ot ?lnoers there. Oh, the sunshine, the glorious sunshine, the everlasting suash>Qel P??lfl?T PEOPLE. 1-F.OSOGRJLPBS netted Edison $1,590,000. THBBS iVno ex-Vice-President living to? day. Ita Marquis of Queenshury is lecturing in England. GOVERNOR LLEWELLYN, of Kansas, was a caual tow boy, lite Gardeld. BESIDES being a good bicycle rider, the Prince of Wales is thoroughly at home on skatps. DR. VY'zELOBYCKr. President of the Society for the Study ot" Inebriety, is one hundred veers old. STEPHEN M. WHITS is the first Unite:! States Senator from California whe was born in that State. EDWARD MURPHY, JR, of Kew York, who will succeei Mr. Hiscoci in the United States Senate, is a victim of sciatica. BISHOP BROOKS, of Massachusetts, died without making any will. It is estimated that his real and personal property cannot fall far short of $750.000. WHEN inaugurated Mr. Cleveland will enjoy the distinction of being the first Pres? identin history to be both President and ex President at the same time. CLAUDE MATTHEWS, the new Governor of Indiana, spent the first money he ever earned -twenty-five cents, paid tor rooting out briers-?n a ticiet to the circus. Ex PRESIDENT HAYES had a desk and bookcise arranged in one of his bathrooms, so that he might take refuge from visitors in that apartment when bari pressed. HENRY CABOT LODGE, Senator-elect from Massachusetts, is the great-grandson of an? other man who held the same seat a century ago. George Cabot was Senator from 1791 to 1790. SENATOR JOHN LAURENS MANNING IRBY, of South Carolina, was born September 10, 'ISoi, and since his election in lS'JD has been the youngest member of the United States Senate. MRS. JOHN G. CARLISLE has for years been her husband's chief counselor and helper. Few meu ever lived who owed more to a woman than he to Mrs. Carlisle, and she has always been intensely ambitious for him. THE late Orange Judd, whose name is a household word among farmers of the coun? try, was commonly supposed to be a man of considerable wealth. f?e left an estate which had been appraised at only $150; this was willed to the widow. MRS. M. P. KIMBALL succeeds her de? ceased husband in the Presidency of the Pennsboro & Harrisville Railroad, and West Virginians have so muca faith in her exec? utive ability that they have no fear of the road suffering by the change. SENATORTURPIE, who has been ra-electei by the Indiana Legislature, is said to have eight languages at his tongue's end. He reads Latin, Greek and Hebrew almost as readily as English, and he has a fluent com? mand of French, German, Spanish and Italian. DOCTOR S. S. LAWS, ex-President of the Missouri State University, has removed from Kansas City to Cincinnati. It is not generally known that Doctor Laws invented the ticker used in handling telegraphic quo? tations, and from that source realizes a handsome income. THE LABOE WORLD, ALASKA miners pay fifty cents for a potato. TBE Pennsylvania Railroad is building ninety engines. SCHENECTADY, N. Y.t claims the biggest locomotive works. MINER'S troubles cost the State of Ten? nessee over $1,000,000 last year. IN railroad accidents last year 2600 em? ployes were kided and 3t?14 ) injured. A NEW department to be devoted to the interests of labor will be established in Eng? land. THE English National Society of Lith? ographic Artists will advocate an eight hour day law. MACHINERY, it is said, produces ninety nine per cent, of the manufacturing labor of the United States. TWENTY-ONE per cent, of th? men em? ployed in tue English merchant marine service are unable to swim. SOME thousand? ol' Cuban cigar makers have left Havana for Florida in consequence of the revised Spanish tariff. BERLIN, Germany, has aa army of unem? ployed workmen. 1 he Socialists are carry? ing on a propaganda among them. IN St. Louis, Mo., over 5003 mea are out of work at present wao are really anxious and willing to do anything for a living. HENCEFORTH the wages ot the electrical workers will De $3 for a day's work of nine hours and double pay on Sundays and holi? days. A MONTHLY self-denial lund has been or? ganized by members of labor unions in Lon? don. The fund will be used to assist the unemployed. FROM the annual report of the Masons and bricklayers' International Union, as? sembled in Convention in Baltimore, Md., it appears that the or^anizi?on has about 42,000 members in 350Tocal branches. THE iron establishments of all kinds, glass works and other industries at Pittsburg, Penn., and vicinity are actively at wor? with full force* and trade in almost every branch ot business is looking unusually wei.'. * THE shipping industry of Eurone is in an extrema state of depression, and as a result large numbers of men are thrown out of employment. In England alone over 50,00 ) persons are deprived of the opportunity to earn their customary wases. GENERAL GOURKO, Governor-General of Warsaw, has granted German employes in factories in Russian Poland one more year In which to learn the Russian language. In case they do not know tae language in Jan? uary lb94, tney will be expelled. A POWDER EXPLOSION. Five Kegs Blow Up in a Mine aud Injure Forty Men. Five kegs of blasting powder ex plod - < d Tuesday morning in the Star coal mine.-; nt Cooksville. Ohio. Forty men . t work iu the mine were all knocked (town. TAO f;jt illy burned. One man, ftandinir at the mouth of th* mine was bb.wn fifty feet and badly burned. M ?nv others were hurt. The force of the ex? plosion was feit three miies. A COMPRESS EXPLODES And Thirteen Mon Probably Killed, Besides a number Badly Injured. Tiie Planters' compreso boilers at Vicks? burg, Mis?., explode ) at 11 :Z0 o'clock Thursday i he compress wai torn to pieces. Tf:rcj men so far have been taken out dead. Ten people are still in the ruins. Seven men-hV/e been taken cu" more or less inj .rf <1. SEVENTH DAY EVANGELISTS Assemble in Convention at Battle Creek, Michigan. The Seventh I)ty Evangelist Ministers' institute began a three week*' session at Battle Creek, Mich., Monday. Over 500 ministers, representing nearly every por? tion of America, South Africa, England, Austria and the Scandinavian countries were on hand. PROMINENT LADIES INDICTED Far Playing the Game of "Pedro" for Prizes. A special of Tuesl*y 'rom Catletrs burg, Ky., says the grand jury DOW in session there lound indictments against a cumber of prominent society ladies of that town for playing pedro ?or prizes. i January Bebt Statement? The debt statement for January shows j a decrease m the cash in the treasury I during the month of about ?::,! Ort.COO, ? making the n**t e-ish a.bou* $20,000,000. against 139.000,000 on h- iii - L a y ol j january 180?. This decrease ?sarcount ed for largely by the f?<t ?hat $7.250, ? 00 was paid ouring the m^nth on the in- ! terest account. - ^ If We Knew. There are gems of wondrous brightness Ofttimies lying at our feet. And we pass them, walking thoughtless Down the busy, crowded street; If we knew, our pace would slacken We would step more oft with care, Lest our careless feet be treading To the earth nome jewel rare. * If we knew what hearts are aching For the comfort we might bring ; If we knew what souls are yearning For thc sunshine we could fling; If we knew what feet are weary Walking pathways roughly laid ; We would quickly h?steu forward, Stretching forth our hands to aid. If we knew what friends around us Feel a want they never tell That some word that we have spoken Taiued or wounded where it fell; Wc would speak in accents tender To each friend we chanced to meet We would give to each one freely Smiles of sympathy so sweet. - [Genesee Richardson. Mr, Thistledown's Courtship, "1 Certainly shall try the experi ment," quoth I to myself. Aud then 1 covertly looked in the glass, so as better to calculate my chances matrimonial. It wasn't a very satisfactory sur vey. I am not a handsome man. But there's one adran I age I possess that is worth all the beauty in creation, Tor quatus Thistledown, Esq., president of the Thistledown Petroleum Coin pauy, with the handsomest yacht in the bay, and money enough to freight with a golden cargo! Youth-beauty -what do they weigh in the balance against Torquatus Thistledown ? And I patted my pockets with a chuckle that sounded like the chink of doubloons I '.I'll do it," I exclaimed aloud. "Bruce Hardenbrook glanced sleepily up from his armchair in the bay window, and took the cigar out of his mouth. Bruce belongs to our club-more's thc pity-a supercilious puppy that looks down ou a fellow from the height of his six feet two as if nobody under that size had au y business to exist. "What's that you're going to do, Thistledown?' \ asked Bruce. "To be married," I added slowly aud distinctly, "to Miss Fanny Gor? don." Bruce started. 1 liad known very well that that would disturb his serene self-possession. All the world was quite aware (hat he was dangling af ttr pretty Fanny Gordon-as if a clientle8s young lawyer had any right to aspire to the hand of the loveliest girl in New York. "Are you engaged lo her, Mr. Thistledown9" he asked. .'No-not exactly engaged-that is? not as yet; but I mear, to bc. 1 shall consult Mr. Gordon this very after? noon-an old friend of mine. Job Gordon. He'll refus*? me nothing."1 Bruce Hardenbrook made no reply. He resumed his newspaper and hied to look indifferent, with remarkably bad s neceas. So I put on my hat and strolled down to honest Job Gordon's counting house. "Thistledown, how d'ye do?"' he cordially said. "What can I do for you today?*' "A great deal, Mr. Gordon," I re? sponded. "I am contemplating matri? mony. 1 am thinking of the hymeneal bonds, sir, and-and-I would like the weight of your iufluence with yo ur daughter Fauny. I adore Fanny, sir -1 worship her-I don't mind telling you that it is within her option at this moment to become Mrs. Torquatus Thistledown P Mr. Gordou wrung my hand hearti ly *'Torquatus," he ejaculated, breath? lessly, "you're a trump. My daugh? ter, Mrs. Petroleum Company, no, 1 dout mean that exactly-but-but 1 only hope you aren't too late." "Too late!'" I gasped, making a clutch at my yellow silk pocket hand? kerchief and wiping the drops away from the bald spot ou thc crown of my head. "There was a young fellow here this very morning," went on Mr. Gor? don, rumpling his hair about with one hand in a distracted manner, "upon the self-same business, and" "Not Bruce Hardenbrook?"" "Yes Bruce Hardenbrook-the very person-and I told him to-l-l gave him my sand ic --und i've just sent up a note to Fanny, desiring her to have no hesitation in promptly accept? ing thc gentleman who would propose to her this afternoon." 1 gave a feeble gasp and nibbed my nose. ..But,"' added the old gentleman, with a sudden inspiration, "1 didn't mention any names, thank goodness, and 1 don't, see upon my word, why the note shouldn't answer for you just as well as for Knice Hardenbrook, it' von only get there a little ahead of Ililli.'* I jumped np ami made a grasp for my im'. ..Couldn't-couldn't von ^<> willi j me?" .?Impossible-I have two important appointments bul you won't need me -the note paves thc way. Good- i evening. Torquatus; I wish yon j possible success !" A* 1 hailed the nearest omnibus and leaper! in, the iron tongue of old Trinity tolled H in deep bass mono- ; syllabic*. Perhaps-perhaps I might j yd bc in lime-perhaps Bruce Hardenbrook might bc such a fool as ! io be idling away the precious mu- ? incuts in that big, eu>y ..hair at the : club rooms. Ir was barely po^si-hle and my heart ?rave a bound at'the i ide?. Fanny was al home for us I rang ? tho bell 1 tho tin-tor bf lier blue m u^ i ii dress from thc French win? dow? that opened on the balcony-ami | the next moment she admitted mo her? self-a tail, beautiful girl, with h^hi ' byowa hair brushed ?way from a ?QW white forehead, and eyes like ?had wells of light ?'Dear me. Mr. Thistledown, is really you?" she exclaimed, coque tishly, adjusting a rose in her hail "Excuse my opening the door; 'th servants are gone to Michael Some body's wake,' and i'm all alone.*' Not entirely alone, for a man hat huug on the hall stand-dart speechless witness I My heart stoo still. At the same moment I caught glimpse of my face in the oval mil ror above. It couldn't have been rec der or more shining if it had been oile mahogany. However, I gave it a da or two of my pocket handkcrchie and boldly entered the parlor. Just as I expected, Bruce Harden brook was there; but then judging b his appearance, he had only just ai rived. Now was my time; but hoi was a fellow lo make love willi Brue H udenbrook s cold, critical eyes fu on him, and the amused curve of hi lip, varying at every word 1 spope. "1-I was thi. ':ing of asking you Fanny" "Yes, Mr. Thistledown." But my courage failed me at thi eventful moment. "If you're much troubled wit mosquitoes in this neighborhood?" "Not at all'? Bruce was laughing-I knew h he was, but 1 scorned to look a him. I felt as I had been taking bath in liquid fire.; was I to be trifle* at thus ? Never i "Fanny," I resumed resolutely, " am in*' But ?lie jumped up with an agonizc( little scream. "Hush ! wasn't that a man's s(ep ii the basement hall? 1 am sure 1 hear< it. Kathleen has left the door un bolled, and the house is full of rob hers and murderers! Oh, Mr. Thistle down, do-do run down and see.*' She shrank into a corner with tin prettiest cowardice 1 had ever seen. Now Tm not. as a general thing particularly partial to the company o: burglars and house breakers, but wha was a man to do thus charmingly ap pealed to? "Don't be afraid. Fan ny," said 1 snatching up the guitar case valiaulh aud making for the lower part of tin house with that weapon of aggression. "Come on Hardenbrook-we'il mak< 'em stir around pretty lively, or we'll know the reason why ! " Hardenbrook followed, rather con? trary to my expectations. I had hall feared his remaining behind to com fort the frightened clove iu the bl tu muslin feathers. "You look iu thc kitchen, Thistle? down, and I'll examine the cellar,' he said and 1 promptly obeyed. 1 iooked under the dresser, behind thc tables, even beneath the great brass kdttle in the corner, but there was nc burglar there. "it must have been the ca?, Harden. brook,*' bawled I, "for- Thc deuce how came this door shut?" I gave the handle of the door an energetic turu-it was fast locked! And now the truth bogan to dawn dimiy upon my perturbed braiu. The coast was clear and vic.ory belonged to Bruce Hardenbrook! In vain I shouted until my lungs were hoarse-in vain I rattled the re? lentless door; nothiug but the echo rewarded my offorts. Nor was the scene of my involuntary confinement particularly in v.ting. It was dark, close and intensely hot-a circum? stance easily accounted for by the fact of a white-hot fire glowing away in the range and no particular circulation except that of Croton bugs across the floor. 1 sat down on thc brass kettle and wiped the streams of perspiration from my forehead-a modern S*. Bartholomew. 1 gnashed my teeth and upset a whole colony of frying pans in de? spair. I sprang up and rattled (he door once more, shouting at the ton of rn; lungs; but all to no avail. I kicked at the walls-I beat a tattoo c n the brass kettle with the guitar case. Vam efforts. I might as well have at? tempted to make myself heard from the great dungeon of the Bastilc. And then I rembered the probable I m u affairs were taking up stairs, an 1 ut? tered a hollow groan. "If I ever get oui of this ti-rv furnace alive!" said I to my ?.elf, ener? getically, "I'll let girls and matrimony alone !" So the time crept away, every mo? ment seeming like an hour, and I heard lue sharp little kuchen clock strike eight, nine and ten, wiUi a keen sense of despair at every lime. Should I never escape? Was I doomed to be roasted alive? At length the monotony of silence was relieved by the sound of footsteps coming down the narrow stairs, and Gordon's voice exclaimed : ?.Mary-Il ann M h-Kathleen-where 11 ie mischief are you all? What's ?lie kitchen door locked for ? I'll dis? charge every one of von or-Hal to! - thieves !-murder!-police !" And honest dob tired his revolver aimlessly into the kitchen and flung a heavy chair after i?. "Gordon!-son-hold on-if< I. Torquatus Thistledown!** "Thistledown in my kitchen ! f don't believe a word of it. Police. 1 -?ay!" "But if is I and I'm nealy dead. Stop your bawling and listen lo IC??. ?On, I said rather vindictively, for the slender thread of my patience was rapidly diminishing down to nothing al all. "Let me out where there's a breath of fresh air and I'll explain I tiling?.'' The astonished old gentleman led j mc up Muirs ;n 0 thc gas-lighted hail, marvelling much at thf> wilted ap p. ai ance I hal 1 presented. "Now. then, will voil be ??co i ecouuh :o led me what all ihi< i< ! about. 1 conic home at ten o'c'o. k i aud ?ad my bouse open and empty. j I go down into my kitchen and rim the president of the Petroleum Oom pany mured up among the pots an< pans! Am I asleep and dreaming Or haye I been bereft of my sen-es?" "First," I interrupted, "where ar? Hardenbrook and Fanny ?" "Where? How should I know Another mystery, I pressume." "No mystery at all, sir," said a well known voice, as Brace Harden bi col came quietly up the fi ont steps am in'O thc hall, willi Fanny leaning 01 his arni, the pomegranate cheek* ; shade redder than ever, and the bligh hair glistening around her face, "her? w* bo J li are"* "And where have you been?" "Only to get married, sir." ..MarriedI" cried I. "Married ?" echoed Mr. Gordon. "You told me in your note, papa l< accept him pioinj t:y,*' faltered Fanny "But I didn't suppose you we e go ing to be as pro rn j t as all this,*1 gail the discomfited papa. 1 remained t-j hear no more. Waa defeated general cares to linger a*-, survey the scenes of his rout and dis comfitnrc? Turning a deaf ear to Gor don"* apologies and entreaties-resist ing Bruce's hypocritical condolence ane Fanny's rno't'iig eyes, where langi tei and com passion blended into bewitch ing light?, 1 j ut on my hat and ?hool thc dust of that mansion o? my feet a once and fo ever. And that was my last courtship. [Albany Times-Union. The Chinese Yule-Tree. "With us even the yuic-tree has de? generated into a loy; with the Chinese the tree is still a tremendous reality so real, in fact, that its branches have obscured their spiritual sunlight and left them in the darkness of supersti? tion. ls it not strange that so idola? trous a nation should in this one csse have so much retrained from the ac? tual representation of an idea exercis? ing so powerful a control over (heit hearts and imaginations? Even in idoi processions, where the sacred dragon himself is manoeuvred, the peach-tree 6eidoin appears on any of the numer? ous floats which constitute the chief glory of these pageants. Vet, despit: the great mystery which shrouded the rites of Cybele, the pine of the great goddess was openly carried through thc streets of Kome when bet cult became the stare religion, and an excellent representation of what the Chinese mystic would immediately recognize as corresponding to his no tiou of thc Tree of Life was once a distinct fealure of the Lord Mayor's Show in London. Throughout all Christendom the axe is now rudely laid to the roots of the unhappy hr or beech, their test service being deemed the amusement of our children aud the gladdening of Christmas-tide, lu China, however.the beatific peach-treo is permitted to freely scatter its blos? soms on Hie air of spring as unmo? lested as if on holy Mouut Tu Sob. itself.-[Harper's Magazine. Curious Minerals of Utah. The mountains aud valleys of Ulah are perfect magazines of odd miner? als, some found only sparingly in other places, \?bile a great many kinds are plentiful there that are found ia uo other locality "?u the globe. "Teatite," a soft, resinous sub? stance found in rjuantities in the Bear River Mountains, was uuknowu to the mineralogist prior to 1890, and is even uow wholly unknown in other quar? ters of the earth. Experts who have given it thorough tests are of the opinion that it wiil finally become amber of the finest quality. "Ozokerite," a species of natural mineral wax, a rarity elsewhere, ia found iu large quantities in this local? ity of queer mineral substances, lt is sn acid and water proof, and makes the finest insulating material k no wu. "(.rilsouite.'* another variety of min? mi wax, contains SO per cent, of car? bon or asphalt iu its pure form. The Utah vein is almost three feet wide and a mile in length. Be-ides the above-named mineral?, which for various reasons being oniy in lite category of oddities, there are inexhaustible beds of nitre aud alum, to say nothing of thc mines of gold, silver, copper, lend, iron, etc.- rst. Louis Republic --o (ii> to the Aut. lu i lie chapter on communities in his lust work Sir John Lubbock re? peats in a pleasantly understandable way his own researches with ants and bees. With not less llian 100 species of ants, thercarc no two having (he same habit?. Wc :11e just finding out how long-lived auls are. He has had working ants seven years old, and a queen ant lived in otic of his nols for fifteen years. He is certain (hat the ants of each com muni ly recognize each other. Sir John divided one com? munity ami kept them apart for a a year and nine mouths, and thc end of which they at once recognized each other, "and were perfectly friendly, while they attacked ants of a difieren t nest, although of the >amc species.** Sir John made his ants drunk with whiskey ard left them together friends Thc tipsy ones had nothing to say, ?int their friends knew them and dragged them oft to their homes, where the besotted ones were watched until they were sober. There were si ranger ants among the inebriates, ami the community took these and pitched them into the water. Thus il it. is evident thai they "know their ftieuds eveu when iucapable of giv? ing any sign or password.-'-[Boston Transcript. Play* a Leading Part. "Von would cali a blind man's ?o:? an insignificant part of thc great life drama that is going on around u*?" .<l would.'* "And yet be playi a leading part" 1 THE BIGGEST MEN. Americans Who Are Much Taller Than the Average. The Heaviest Man in the World is in India. The biggest man in the world, ac? cording to the authorities, at Brob? dingnag, is an American, John Craig of Danville, Ind., who weijghs 823 pounds, and is often seen by the dazed sojourners in that peaceful little vil? lage wheeling his aix-months-old baby along the streets in a perambulator. This procession of Craig Junior and Senior illustrates one of the remarka? ble qualities of the contemporary gi? ants-he is neither the father nor the son of giants? Johnny Craig, Jr., of Dauville, is not above the average size of children of his age, and it is said that this jact causes hts father much secret sorrow. The biggest man in New York, and in other respects one of thc most in? teresting, is John A. Seaton, the col? ored watchman in the Equitable Build? ing on Lower Broadway. Mr. Seaton is 6 feet 7 1-2 inches iu height, and is so symetrically proportioned that his 256 pounds give him, if anything a statuesque, not to say slender appear? ance. He is quiet and unobtrusi ve in his demeanor and partakes of that good nature which is said to be gen? erally characteristic of giants-that is, giants of today; in old times the giants seemed to spend most of their time roaming with large clubs through dense forests in a bad humor, and hungering greatly after human food. The biggest dentist iu the world, who is in all probability the most gi? gantic professional man of the time, and who is said by people who ought to know to be by all odds the biggest man iu Paris, was observed not long ago strolling along Fifth avenue in New York. He is Dr. G. C. Daboll, who used to live in Buffalo, but emi? grated to the French capital fired by the brilliant professional success of Dr. Evans, who is said to have put gold into half the crowned heads in Europe. It is darkly whispered about the Paris boulevards that Dr. Daboll does not need forceps lo pull teeth with, but is able to seize the offending molar between his ?ngers aud thumb and dexterously lift it from its socket. This may be only a canard. But it is a matter of history that Dr. Daboll wa? once sent for to come from Wash? ington and give dental attention to a president of the United Slates. He is 6 feet 10 inches high and remarkably broad-shouldered for his height. Gue of the tallest men in this coun? try and, until further evidence, the tallest, is James Murphy of Bridge j Creek, Colquitt County, Ga., common j ly known as "Big Foot Jim.'" He j stands 7 feet high in his stocking feet j and weighs 260 pouuds. Mr. Murphy ! we ar s a No. 15 shoe aud, as he is said j to have a will of his owu, no doubt accomplishes something when he puts his foot down. The strongest man iu the Northwest is E. P. Kendall of Seattle. On the occasion of a recent test of his extra? ordinary power SIi*. Kendall agreed to put from shoulder to arm's length a 10-pound dumbbell oftener than eight strong men could do it. Eight of the most vigorous looking laborers at work grading about the County Court? house were matched against him. Kendall kept time with each of them, and after the eighth had given np from sheer exhaustion smiled pleas? antly and ran his score up to an even thousand. He has a brother who holds the world's championship at putting up dumbbells.- [St. Louis He public. -?~ Tricks of Thieves in City Stores. I "The baby trick," said a detective i connected with a big New York store ? to a inm reporter, "is as old as cmli ] zation, but it is still in use. If you were to come iu here intending to rob the store, or any male person dressed in ordinary man's costume, you would have a poor chauce, because you have nothing about you to conceal good.?, in. Your clothes are too snug. You might drop a knife into your pocket, or a ring, or some other small article; but what could you do with a piece of silk? The iirit requisites is flowing drapery, and in the baby trick the baby carries the drapery. Small babies usually wear long clothes and in their shirts stolen arti? cles are concealed. Here is a curious Illino- that I often think of; There arc probably a thousand grown-up people walking the ?irect* of this city who when they were infants were carried into ihe big stores to bc receptacles I for >lo?en ?roods. Bv their mothers? i Not necessarily. Babies a e often j borrowed or rented for this purpose, j The baby trick is nothing more than j cari vin-' an infant imo a store for thc ! expr?s*- purpose of concealing stolon | ?roods in its long shirts. "Thc umbiella trick is much more j common. Its name almost explains it. Instead of a baby the woman carries au umbrella, and the stolen ar? ticles are dropped into it. Much larg? er things may be carried off in this way than you would imagine. The gauntlet trick is a device for the wor? riment of the jewelry counters. The thief in this case carries a long glove, and some small but valuable articles drops into it-accidentally, of course. "The shawl trick requires so much ! nerve and skill that it is seldom used j except by experts. A camel's hair i shawl is the fav trite, for there is au sir of respectability about camel's hair. While the derk's back is turned i valuable piece of >i-k disappears j within the folds of the shawl. The ? .hopi:lin 's, bag was once a great fa- ; verile with wohnen ihieve?. lt wa* j simply a large bag su*j*u4a4 ?rou tho j waist, but with a spring attachment by which it could be opened or closed by a hand carried in the pocket. Many a valuable article has disap? peared in a shoplifter's bag; but the carrying of such a bag has been made a criminal offence in this state, and now two smaller bags, one on each side, are substituted for it. You can see now why the store detcctiue must have eyes not only all around his head, but in his kuecs, elbows, heels and the tail of his coat.-- [New York' Sun. The Kag Pickers of Paris. The number of rag pickers at T7ork every morning in Paris is ea id to be 40,000; today that many men and women are getting a living out of the refuse and rubbish that is thrown away at night by 2,500,000 of inhabi? tants. It ?6 estimated, writes Henry Haynie, that the weight of hair which falls from combs, aud w,hich the chif? fonniers collect each morning, is 60O pounds. This sells at 40 cents per pound in the hair market; the sale of wooden shreds, or that of other stuffs, figures each year at $200,000, and that of bones amounts to twice as much. Sonic of these chiffouniers are kings of rag pickers. One such has made a small fortune by speculating in old sardine boxes. Another is proprietor of a dozen houses iu thc Champs Elysees. 1 do not mean to say that lie owns six buildings iu that aristocratic neigh? borhood, but no one except him can touch their rubbish and refuse. Some rag pickers have clerks and these are called "chiifertons." They are ap? prentices and are paid daily wages. . As much as fifteen cents a day is paid to some of them, aud they are permit? ted tc eat what they like out of tue basket. Often they work so hard thai they starve to death, for the industry is not overprofitable. It is with much difficulty that rag pickers make both euds meet aud, though they have to pay nothing for their license, they do have to pay rent for their miserable cabins. You will find more children in the rag pickers* quarter than yon will in any other quarter of Paris, that is to say in proportion to their num? ber.- [New Orleans Picayune. Into the Blue Empyrean. Algernon was whisperiug low to the giri iu the gauzy glimmer of lace and tulle. She had bent her lovely swanlike neck to catch his worda. Murmurously they floated outward and fell upon the pearly, pink white ear, as crystal drops touch silver corda aud wakeu sweetest music sleeping there. .?You are so much to me," he said? "In all tbe dozen years since first my heart responsive grew to woman's sweet solicitude, there has been none whose lingers spanned tho octave of my soul aud wrought the manly har? monies dormant there into a living theme. No face bat yours has brought to me the face of angels, fair and pure, beyoud the skies that bend above the earth, far removed from all its sordid thoughts, its groveling cares? its motiveless materialism. In you concentrated all my dreams are real? ized, my hopes to full fruition come? my dearest wishes made my own.*' Slowly she lifted that **ir, sweet face until her soft blue eyes looked into his. Then she laid her little hand upon his arm. "Algernon," she murmured, "won't you please come off the roof?" And as Algernon clamored down, he recalled the fact that he had tackled a Western girl. feathering Mistletoe. Mistletoe is one of those plant? called parasites. The mistletoe is & gray, thread-like plant, an i you will sometimes see it about the streets for sale at Christmas time, for, lite the holly, it is a Christmas plxut, says a writer in Little Men and "Women. There are many differeut kinds of mistletoe, butthat which grows on the oak is the most famous in English history. In England, although the people think a great deal of having the mis? tletoe of the oak to deck their houses at Christmas, it is not allowed in the churches. Many, many hundred years ago the mistletoe was a sacred piaut in Eng? land. The people did not worship the one true God, but they believed in several evil spirits, and these spirits they worshipped and tried to please. For these spirits they set apart the oak trees. Their priests were called Druids, and they built their altars in oak groves. There they prayed and sang their hymns of praise. Dressed in long white robes, these Druids marched in procession to the oak trees, and ont off ?he mistletoe with knives of gold. After saying a prayer over it, they cut ii in short pieces, and gave it as a New Years gift among the people who kept it carefully. A Blood-Thirsty Hen. A strange sight met my eyes one morning on going into the orchard? writes a coates mondent. Seeing a large black hen struggling to swallow an object I supposed to be a snake, my surprise was greater upon closer inspection at seeing a young robin, nearly void of feathers, with part of the head and neck eaten away. The hen had evidently found it under the nest in the apple tree, aud was mak? ing good use of her victim; her thirst for blood was aroused, and she was struggling to get it down her throat before some other hen or myself should catch her in the act. We see strange thing? happen sometimes among poultry. - fNew York Inde? pendent. Epicures are excited by hearing that the supply pf 'terrapin will be tba ituailast ;for jaar*