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MAKING PUNS UPON NAMES. | A Peculiar Brand of Humor That Was jg Once Quits Popular. ^ In the days of Theodore Dock ? and his merry friends jokes upon a proper names were quite the thing, j and while the auditors grinned the victim bore the inlliction with us j much dignity us lie could summon up. As a specimen of Hookian wit | of this kind the following may j serve: "A humorist of tliis epoch j I (I am not quite sure whether it was | the sprightly Theodore himself), in- ji vited to the house of a Mr. Pepj)er,, i greeted his host with the words, g 'How happy you must be, Mr. Pep- $ per, to see your friends all mus- \ tered!'" A better instance, per- | haps, is Hook's impromptu when a | tax collector called Winter wa9 seen j to be at the door: Here comes Mr. Winter, collector of taxes. I advise ycu to pay htm wtiatover he j axes. You had much better pay him wtthout | any flurome/yThough Winter's his name, his proceed- : ings ore summary The most fearsome and complete pun of this kind was made by an j examiner who had to tell a certain j undergraduate the result of his viva j voce. The undergraduate's name j wa3 Field Flowers Goo, and ho sub- t< sequently attained some eminence in the church. The verdict was, "The Field is plowed, the Flowers are plucked, and you, sir, can Goe f There is a variety of the pun upon a name, however, that one is almost inclined to forgive or at j least to regard with a certain leniency. It is when some familiar .quotation is given an apt twist which brings in the cognomen of the victim. One of the best of this kind is attributed to Sir William XTT fa o 1 /vtir* /1a. Xl{UV/JUi t. A-O.D L^Li.114^ IV t? Vl\^ scended baronet named Knigntley descanting on the antiquity of his family, the politician was heard to misquote a well known hymn as follows: And Knlghtley to the listening earth Recounts the story of his birth. From the United States comes the story of an unwilling auditor of Senator Lodge, who, as the senatorial eloquence showed no signs of ceasing, muttered to his neighbor, "Oh, for a Lodge in some vast wilderness P James Payn, the novelist and editor, was notoriously averse to physical exercise. A gentle stroll from the Comhill offices in Waterloo place to the Reform club was the limit of his pedestrianism. So it was not strange that he showed signs of acute discomfort on a country ramble. As the party climbed a steep acclivity in the course of the walk one of them, noticing the novelist's distress, whispered to another, "The laboT we delight in physics Payn."?New York Sun. U&mi i? u;. wv% si* in? wa/?i "Talking about folks being 'sot' in their ways," said a writer, "reminds me of a pretty girl of twenty who married a wealthy old widower of over fifty. This old chap was very nmch a widower. This girl was, in fact, his fourth wife. Well, on the return from the honeymoon the husband after dinner took up his hat, overcoat and umbrella. The wife, beautiful in a white decollete gown that was no whiter than her shoulders, said: " 'Where are you going, dear ? "He gave her a stern look and answered coldly: " Oly dear, I am not in the habit of telling my wives where I am going every time I step out of the house.'" i ** ii ? ' A Faithful Servant. Carlyle told once of a lawsuit pending m Scotland affecting the <j succession to a great estate of which he had known something. The case depended on a family secret known j: only to one old servant, who re- t fused to reveal it A kirk minister 1 was sent to tell her she must speak ? on peril of her soul. "Peril of my \ saul !" she eaid. "And would ye put f the honor of an auld Scottish fam- d ily in competition with the saul of 1 a poor creature like me?" a p Quarantine. v The captain was talking to a 8 group of ladies about nautical ignorance. "As we neared port one voyage/' he said, "I overheard the conversation of two girls. 'Well soon be passing quarantine now/ said the i( first girl. The other whispered: a "Tot goodness' sake, dear, dry r upl Don't let the captain know fi how ignorant you are. Quarantine t isn't a place; it's a disease.'" c c The Exception. v "If at first you don't succeed, try, ? try again." a "That's a good theory, but it isn't a always wise practice." \ "Why not?" ? "I once tried to paper a room my- a sell I didn t succeed, but I assure p you that my experience taught me * never to try it again." ? Detroit Free Press. Scott Drui We Are In Basine All Prescriptions 1 Complete Line ot Static I WSI':*" ; Meet Me at t! | Agents for Noi See Us*for Sterno St Make Our Store Phone 131 F< CL.-' $1.40 E m FLOP ft" act The Pee The Atlantic sell excursion ti tree to Florence Nov. 17 to ! 1 1 1 1 limited returmn starting point u midnight of N Proportionately all intermediate dates and with i For schedules and fi W W Holliday, Ticke' ATLANTIC 11-11 -h the standard f The Milwa made by the International anteed to be as good as th Mowers, $4( The Celebrated ( M. F. I Notice to'Creditors. n the District Court ofjthe {Unite States for the Eastern District o South Carolina. 29 Jn the matter of 1 T? S FEpps, Bankrupt, \ In Bankruptcj 'o the creditors of the aforesaid Bank rapt: Take notice, that S F Epps of Kings ree, Williamsburg county. South Care na, who was adjudged a bankrupt i: his court on the 6th day of February 915.has filed his petition therein, pray ig for a discharge in Bankruptcy; an hat a hearing was thereupon ordere nd will be had upon said petition be ore said Court, at Charleston, in sai istrict, on the 20th day of December 915,at ten o'clock a. m., at which tim nd place all creditors of said Bankrap nd other persons in evidence may ap ear and show cause, if any they have rhy the said discharge should not b ;ranted. (Attest) Richard W Hutson, ll-18-4t n Clerk. Charleston,'S C. November 10, 1915. Begistration'Notice. The office of the Supervisor of Reg jtration will be open on the 1st Moe ay in each month for the purpose c egistering any person who is quali ed as follows: Who shall have been a resident c ha stotp fnr two vears. and of th ounty one year, and of the polling pre inct in which the elector offers t ote four months before the day o lection, and shall have paid, si: aonths before, any poll tax then du nd payable, and who can both rea nd write any section of the constitu ion of 1895 submitted to him by th upervisors of Registration, or wh an show that he owns, and has pai 11 taxes collectible on during th iresent year, property in this Stat ssessed at three hundred dollars o aore. H A Meyer, Clerk of Board. g Company | iss For Your Health * Carefully Compounded nery and School Supplies he Soda Fountain rris' Fine Candies oves and Canned Heat Yocr Headquarters or Your Wants EnES3mSHH?a?M9HM xcursion 'ENCE.S C :ount of : Dee Fair. : Coast Line will ckets from Kingsi, S C,for all trains 20, inclusive, g to reach original i it* p to ana including ovember 21, 1915. low fares from i stations, on same same return limit. jrther information, call on t Agent, Kingstree, S C. COAST LINE RAILROAD OF THE SOUTH. ukee Mower Harvester Company. GuarLe Deering or McCormick, for 0; Rakes, $20. )xford Buggy $70. HELLER Noticed Notice is hereby given that the A f diting Board on Tuesday, December at 12 m., will call for the lowest bids^ repair the stock law fence. SPECIFICATIONS. 1st. To repair said fence from Sant* road to Santee swamp. 2nd. To tear down all old fencing i K swamp and rebuild the same to ma: n channel, which is 7-B of a mile. '* All posts must be heart and sunk i , ground not less tnan 18 mcnes. j All planks must be of heart, 6 inch< ? wide by 16 feet long, and 4 planks higl j Bottom board 3 inches from ground. _ Second board 3 inches from first boari ' Third board 4 inches from second " ? Fourth board 5 inches from third '' 1 All board ends must be clamped i J" posts. About 50% of old sound boards a e be used, but no rotted ones. There must be at least 2 new boan to each panel. It will take about 660 heart posts. Get busy, gentlemen. Let us haA " your lowest bids at the County Commi sioner's office the first Tuesday in D cember, 1915. J N Hammet, ll-ll-3t County Commissioner. iif Trespass Notice. if All persons are hereby notified not e trespass upon any of my lands describt ) below, for the purpose of hunting, fisl o ing or otherwise, and that any persoi if trespassing upon said lands in any mai x ner will be prosecuted to the fullest e: e tent of the law. The lands are as fc d lows: All that tract of land situate in Wi e liamsburg county, South Carolina, bourn 0 ed on the North by lands of J P Newel d on the East by A D Cox; on the Soul e by W C Hemingway & Company and e P Haselden; and on the West by W 1 Baxley and M Z Wyand. BWKBfr&a IE R Baxi.E November 6.1915.mm??S;ll-ll-4t f . ..V -. . I1 Master's Sale. ? STATE OF SOL'TH CAROLINA, ' DILLON COUNTY. ? In the Matter of P B Hamer, Judge of Si Probate for Marion county, S C, PlainB |j E M' Boatright, Joseph Bivens, J E H Williams, C P Williams and Palmetto fit Rank & Trust. f!n. Defendants. In the Court of Common Pleas. FORECLOSURE. J Under and by virtue of a decretal or| der by His Honor T .J Mauldin, presid' ing Judge of the 4th Judicial Circuit, and bearing date the 12th day of Octo$ ber, 1915, the undersigned as Master for Dillon county, S C, will sell before j the court house door at Dillon, S C. on the first Monday in December next, the same being the regular salesday, during the regular sales hours, at public auction to the highest bidder for cash, the following described property: 1 "All that certain piece,parcel or tract V| of land in Anderson township, county 5 of Williamsburg and State of South bj Carolina, containing three hundred (300) acres, and bounded as follows: North by Black River; East South by lands of M II Parsons, and West by lands of L A Parsons." Purchaser to pay for all papers and Revenue stamps. Any person bidding off said property and refusing to comply with his bid therefor, the said property I will be resold upon the same or some subsequent salesday at the risk of the former purchaser. A B Jordan, Master for Dillon County, a Master's Office, Dillon. S C, November 13, 1915. ll-ll-3t C71 ___________________ wr^ 1 J3ULlUe U1 OcllC. f STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA. h county of williamsburg, R Court of Common Pleas. ? decree for sale in foreclosure. ? E B Rhodus, Plaintiff, n against g H Noah Goins, Defendant. I Notice is hereby given that, under 3 and by virtue of a decree issued out of H the Court of Common Pleas of the county of Williamsburg in the above entitled action, bearing date the 23d day of June. 1915, to me directed, I will sell to the highest bidder, for cash, before the court house door in the town of Kingstree, county of Williamsburg, State of South Carolina, on the first Monday in December. 1915. the same being the 6th day of said month, the following described tract of land,to-wit: All that certain piece, parcel or tract of land lying, being and situate in Hope township, State and county aforesaid, said to contain sixty-one and one-half (CI,1 e) acres, more or less, as shown by plat "made by G T Floyd, D S, January. 1911, attached to and forming a part of title made by T P and M G McMillan to said H Noah Goins for above tract of land April 11. 1911, and bounded as follows: North by lands of Holleman, Lewis and Williams; East by lands of J J Bradham and Williams; South by lands of J J Bradham; West by lands of W J Holleman and others; this being a part of the McMillan home place. H 0 Britton, Clerk of Court of Williamsburg county. ^ 11 lo oi JNovemoer 13, iyio. n-io-oi Notice of Sale. STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, COUNTY OF WILLIAMSBURG. Court of Common rleas. E B Rhodus, Executor of the last Will and Testament of E B Rhodus, deceased, Plaintiff, against Nancy Woods, Maiw Montgomery, Dan? lei Woods, Sam John Woods, Frances _ Blanding, Nathan Woods, Richard Woods, Eddie Woods. George Woods, Queen Woods, Samuel Woods and Daisy Woods, heirs-at-law of John Woods, deceased, Defendants. Notice is hereby given, that under and by virtue of a decree issued out of the Court of Common Pleas of the county of Williamsburg in the above entitled action, bearing date the 23d day of June, 1915, to me directed, I will sell to the highest bidder, for cash, before the court house door in the town of Kingstree, county of Williamsburg, C+o+o rtf CJ/vith ParnllriR nn tVip first Monday in December, 1935, the same being the 6th day of said month, the following described tract of land, to-wit: All that certain piece, parcel or tract ? of land lying, being and situate in the ^ county of Williamsburg, State of South Carolina, containing fifty-four and onefourth (54 1-4) acres, and bounded on the North by lands of J T Mouzon and u- Clarence Montgomety; on the East by 7, lands of Caesar Montgomery and Mafto lard Lumber Company; on the South by lands of J T Mouzon and Mallard Lumber Company, and on the West by lands ot Ularence Montgomery ana jasper ^ King; the same being the tract of land that was conveyed to the said John !n Woods by C M Richburg, by his deed ln dated February 11, 1908. H 0 Britton, In Clerk of Court of Williamsburg Co. November 13, 1915. ll-18-3t ' Citation Notice' THE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, county of williamsburg, to By P M Brockinton, Esq, Probate Judge. in Whereas, N D Lesesne made suit to me, to grant him letters of adminj9 istration of the estate of and effects of Mrs Marion E Scott, These are, therefore, to cite and adre monish, all and singular, the kindred and 9. creditors of the said Mrs Marion E Scott, e. deceased, that they be and appear before me in the Court of Probate, to be held at Kingstree, S C, on the 8th day of November next, after publication ? thereof, at 11 o'clock in the forenoon, to shnw cause, if anv thev have, whv the said administration should not be granted. Given under my hand this 8th day of r~ November, Anno Domini, 1915. Published on the 11th day of Novem13 ber, 1915, in The County Record. n" P M Brockinton, ll-ll-2t Probate Judge. i No. 666 tu This is a prescription prepared especially j for MALARIA or CHILLS & FEVER. j Five or six doses will break any case, and if taken then as a tonic the Fever will not Y return. * It acts on the liver better than Calomel and does not gripe or sicken. 25c % Notice of Sale under Foreclosure. THE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, THE COUNTY OF WILLIAMSBURG, In Court of Common Pleas. People's Mercantile Company, a corporation duly organized and existing under and by virtue of the laws of the State of South Carolina. Plaintiff. against Derry McGill and J E Porter, Defendants. By virtue of a judgment of foreclosure and sale made in the above entitled action on the 12th day of November, 1915, by his Honor S W G Shipp, the undersigned, as Sheriff of Williamsburg county, will offer for sale before the court house door at Kingstree, South Carolina, at 12 o'clock m., for cash, on the 6th day of December, A D 1915, the same being salesday, to the highest bidder, the following described tract of land, to-wit: "All that certain piece, parcel or tract of land lying, being and situate in Williamsburg county, State of South Carolina, containing seventy-five acres, more or less, and bounded as follows, towit: North by Manning road and lands of Benjamin Brothers; South by lands of S A Scott, and West by lands of AlI fred Tisdale; and on the East by Manning public road." Purchaser to pay for papers. George J Graham, Sheriff of Williamsburg county. Dated at Kingstree, S C, November 15, A D 1915. U-l8-3t Estate Notice. Notice is hereby given that all persons having claims against the estate of Jane E Hanna, deceased, are hereby required to file the same duly attested, with the undersigned as executor of said estate, and all persons indebted nntn said pstatp arp hprehv rpnnired to I ? / 1? make payment to the undersigned. R J Hanna, Qualified Executor of the Estate of Jane E Hanna, deceased. ll-ll-3tp November 8. 1915. Notice of Final Discharge. Notice Is hereby given that on the 11th day of December, A D 1915, at 12 o'clock noon, we will apply to P M Brockinton, Judge of Probate of Williamsburg county, for Letters Dismissory as Executors of the last Will and Testament of SI Montgomery, deceased. Dated November 8, 1915. S W Montgomery, C L Montgomery, ll-ll-5t Executors. Notice of Final Displiar <ro viim g v Notice is hereby given that on the 27th day of November, A D 1915,at 12 o'clock noon, I will apply to P M Brockinton, Judge of Probate of Williamsburg county, for Letters Dismissory as Executor of the estate of Eli Patrick, deceased. 10-28-5tp T B Patrick, October 25, 1915. Executor. Notice of Final Discharge. Notice is hereby given that on the 20th day of November, A D 1915. at 12 o'clock noon, I will apply toP M Brockinton, Judge of Probate of Williamsburg county, for Letters Dismissory as general Guardian of the persons and estates of Lizzie M Fulton, et al. Mrs Rosa T Fulton, Guardian. October 18, 1915. 10-21-5t Notice of Application for Final Discharge. Notice is hereby given that on the 4th day of December, A I) 1915, at 12 o'clock, noon, I will apply to P M Brockington, Judge of Probate of Williamsburg county, for Letters Dismis sory as HJxecutor 01 tne estate 01 mrs Mary Lee Gordon, deceased. A M Gordon, ll-4-5t Executor. November 1, 1915. Tax Notice. The tax books will be open for collection of taxes for year 1915 on the 15th day of October, prox. Tax levy as follows: For State 7 mills Ordinary County 3 " Roads .. 1 " Chaingang and Bridges 1 " Constitutional School 3 " A tax of 50c on dogs. For High School at Kingstree..2 " " retiring bonds " " ..2 " " " " at Greelyville A " " " sch bonds at Cades....3 " " " bonds at Hemingway..6 " " " " " Johnsonville..7 " " " bds annexed territory Clarendon county, Nos 14 and 53, special levy 11 " " County and Court House 1>^ " All parties between the ages of 21 and 60 years,inclusive, are liable, unless exempted by law, to a poll tax of $1.00, also to a commutation tax of $2.00. Levy for special school districts is as follows: Xos 2, 6, 32, 34, 40,45 and 47-2 mills. No 31?3 mills. Nos 4, 8,11,13,14,16,19,22,25,28,29,36, 37, 38, 39. 41, 43, 46, 48, 50, 51, 52, 53, 55, 56, 59 and 60?4 mills. No 23?12 mills. Nos 24 and 49?6 mills. No 27?7 mills. Nos 12 and 15?8 mills. Upon all unpaid taxes after December 31 a penalty of \% will be added for Januarv. 19h for February and 5% to 15th day of March next, after which the books will be closed and executions issued upon all unpaid taxes. Those who desire to pay their taxes through the mail may expedite matters by dropping the Treasurer a card asking for the amount of their taxes, so as to avoid sending the wrong amount, also stating the township or townships (if property is owned in more than one) and if possible give school district where property is located. After paying taxes examine your receipts and see if all your property is covered; if not, see about it at once. By following the above suggestions complications and additional cost may be avoided. J Wesley Cook, 9-23-tl2-30 County Treasurer. gj H Jg & SAFE SIDE? IF NOT, WHY NOT? \ Whose fault is it? It is not ours. We offer you the necessary requirements to place you on the " * ? iii sate side, ana wouia dg mure uuui delighted to WRITE YOU A POLICY f that will protect you from all loss by fires at a yery low rate. We represent the best and most reliable companies on earth. Kingstree Insurance,Real Estate &Loan Co. W. H. WELCH, Manager. EYES EXAMINED II anrffilASSFS FITTED I am now equipped to do this work satisfactorily and can save you from $1.50 to $3.00 on each pair of glasses. Let me fit you out with Che New KryptoH Glasses* reading and distance vision ground in each lens. If you break your lenses bring them to me. I will duplicate them on short notice. Save the pieces. T. E. BAGGETT, Jeweler and Optician, Kln^strwe. South Carolina The Meanest Miller in Town is prepared to grind your corn into fine meal, coarse or medium grits. Bring along your corn. ' I am also prepared to grind your wheat into the very best grade of flour? b the home ground kind. Bring us your wheat as soon as it is ready. EPPS MILLING CO., S. F. EPPS, Proprietor . f .? > p i iniiTtiiiin nnno ^ uDnimno nuuo. WHITLOCK, J l^Pl ^"X City# S. C.. Special Sales Agent "v f f . Representing the largest manIs.. ufacturers of all kinds Im.. K": } 'V-, proved Copper and Galvanised ' Section Rods. (Endorsed by the Highest Scientific Au' ? > thorities and Fire Insurance i ' . Companies). Pure Copper Wire v??\ ' Cables, all sizes. Our Full Cost sjy Guarantee given with each job. - J..*." _ I sell on close margin of profit; dividing commission with my customers. 8-7-tf NEWHOMEI ? 77/ get it I iX Jor I > mymife VHQ OTHER LIKE IT. iCV, NO OTHER A8 GOOD. Purchase the "NEW HOME" and you will have a life asset at the price you pay. The elimination of repair expense by superior workmanship and best quality of material insures life^on^ serrice at minimum cost. Insist on having the NEW HOME . WARRANTED FOR ALL TIME. Known the world over for superior sewing qualities. Not sold under any other name. THE NEW HOME SEWING MACHINE CO.,ORANGE,MASS. rOH (ALB ?? People s Mercantile Co. Kingstree, - S. C. Undressed Lumber. I always have on hand a lot of undressed lumber (board and framing) at my mill near Kingstree, for sale at the lowest price for good material. See or write me for further information, etc. F. H. HODGE, mB-MYsri&m Will cure your Rheumatism Neuralgia, Headaches, Cramps, Jolic, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts and r\lA c nroo Qtin nra r\f J U 1113 ) W1U UU1 WO, l/l lUOwv ' >' >c. Antiseptic Anodyne, used inoruaily and externally. Price 25c. y