University of South Carolina Libraries
* . ,7 ' "tr" The Scrap Boole Should Bo Patented. V::n<lv. wlsa' IV you po uut ! a 1 1? jliece of {K?hk to chaw ?>u: I>o:i' you all know de |k>* oh lie choke on 11V j "l>!nah. don* \(?ti see <!e string tird to dat piece ol> fat |?>lik? l>e ud.ler end's tied to ilt* chile's toe. lit' In: j cli Ues he'll !^< k. an" of he kicks he'll , jorK tie polik out. Ah reckon you all ^ Cor:' learn me nothing *l>ont hrlugiu' up chi.lun!'' IXt.RATITFDE. BB~- lilow blow. ih'?n winter wind! , Thou are rot so unkind <. As nan's ingratitude. Thy tooth is not so keen, / Bfi-ai:s thou art not s en. 1 Although thy bri-ath tit* rude. Fr z?-. freeze, thou bit tor sky, That ilost not liite so hisih As benefits forgot! Though thou the wati rs warp. f Thy stilts is not so sharp As friend remembered not. Sha!:es;vare. i i They Were Really Arreed. Former Lieut etuv.ti ' : >vern ?r Wooil* ruff of New A ?? I: tof the efforts - ' ? I., V...I :.. !! Ill \ limit r a i\ i hi . ? ... ... to arbitral* Unv.v.i a man ami his wife who wore airing their troubles ou the sidewalk one Saturday evening. "Look hero. my man." exelniawd the j Alhauv man. at on<v intervening in J the alternation, "this won't do. you know" "What ; <: Iness is it of yours7" ?'e nu.tuled the luati angrily. * "It's my i esiuess only so far :;s 1 may u> < service i:i settling this dispute. and 1 Itould like very much to do tha'." "This ?5"*t no <!!-;?? te." "No d:-'p".:el" came in astonished L' . tones from the would he peacemaker. ' Why, y.-a" | "I tell von that It ain't no dispute. She thinks s:ie ain't gain' to got my week's wages. and 1 know she ain't I That ain't no dispute!" l.ippiueott's. fig Willie's Cross Eyed Bear. V Ant Marion took her small nephew B to ehureh one Sunday, and when Willie g got home his mother asked him how f he liked to attend church. Well."* saia u uue. **i iikwz u, ouii i they sans n funny song." What was it?" "About 11 cross eyed l?car." "What! You must l>e mistaken." Put Willie was sure he was right. When Aunt Marion appeared, she was questioned, and this was found to tie the hymn: "A Consecrated Cross I'd | Bear!" He Had Left It. A prominent railroad man hurried a down the lobby of u Hinghamton hotel and up to the desk. He had just ten minutes in which to pay his bill and Hr reach the station. Suddenly It occurred M to him that he had forgotten someW thing. 'Sfui-u liAr " ha cuIImI til A IlOfiTTO P bellboy, "run up to 48 and see If 1 left a box 0:1 the bureau. And be <juK-k about it. will you?" The boy rushed up the stairs. The ten m'nutes dwindled to seven, and the railroad man paced the office. At length the boy appeared, empty hauil ed. "Yas. suh." he panted breathlessly. "Yas. suh. yo* left it. suh."?Every body's. A Hungry Wolf. A fed faced man was holding the at< nifiAii nf n llrflo trrntin wifh some wonderful recitals. JL "The most exciting chase 1 ever liad." he saidj "happened a few years ago in Kussia. One night, when sleighlug about ten miles from my destination, I discovered, to my Intense horror. that I was being followed by a pack of wolves. 1 fired blindly into the pack, killing one of the brutes, and. to my delight, saw the others stop to devour it. After doing this, however, they still came on. I kept on repeating the dose, with the same result, and each occasion gave me au opportunity to whip up my horses. Finally there was only one wolf left, yet on It came, with Its fierce eyes glaring in anticipation of a good, hot supi?er." Here the man who had been sitting In the corner burst forth iuto a fit of laughter. ?. "Why, man," said he, "by jour way of r ekoning. that last wolf must have had the rest of the pack inside him!" "Ah." sai l the red faced man, without a tremor, "now I rememl>er it did wabble a bit." [ Really Amazing. Au American tourist on the summit 1 of Vesuvius was appalled at the grandeur of the sight. "tireat snakes!** he exclaimed; "it reminds me of hades." "tlad, how yott Americans do travel!" jj^HB^replied his English friend who stood Wr 11 *ar by.?Ladies' Home Journal. An Opportune Telegram. "One time when I and some other lawyers were engaged in defending a mer charged with murder." said attorney. "Judge Shope was among ^^^^Khose employed on-the side of the prosecution. We made a vigorous effort to get our man's head away from the halter, and our; chances seemed fair enough until Shope addressed the jury. He didn't seem to make much of an Impression at first. They listened rather indifferently, but all at once a circumstance arose that turned things in his favor. "While he was speaking a rnessen ger boy eutered the courtroom and j handc-d him a telegram, which, still ' fi continuing his address to the jury, he ; cms. h*tnteal!y tore open. Suddenly his ! f i eyes dilated ar.d stared intently on the words lefere him. Then lii?* voice faiteve.l at: ! invoke. ki> Ivoatli came ainl went i:i sit >. ; a.*'o. lii-* chest heaved ar.<! !" ! \ i'ii ' emotion. an.!, tttrn!nir I::-, teir'su eyes 0:1 the jury, he :ai '. in ?njf tones: " 'Kacr.e ::i". s'titieaien. i fear I vjiun ?i .a > on. i have just received the news of t!ie cleatli of a clear friend, one who has iteen of the most material , lieiietit to me i!i my profession and j wh>?se ? leaves a trip that none can e'.er ti!!. Ilxeuse me. I In jj of; you. 1 ant utterly unmanned and !>ro- j ken down at litis >a.l calamity.' "Si?:ne mouthers of t!:.? jury cxjtrcssc 1 | their regret ami ursa-d him to continue i his a idress. and !te t'.i.l so. The result v. i< t'ot ! . woo t'ie < ee _j 11,,,f that j'.v.v. sit*.! n:v n:sf ?rr:ni::*?? ciicnt was sent to the |? eiivn.iery life. "Win*. J1'!* jrial was >,vr. s>:.M'l>??d\ t pi-n* t'i ' teiejrv.un Ilia: h td so ??l ?*? y < <? 1 ?> t hinds of j tit ".' %* a ]vn . ti- It h. I U'i'11 sent l>y a \vatr:J>h . : ??' ;ix: 1 *i contained 1 the t ;*. r* a a character j in <?:: !! *-* w?ve!s. the old ?! ! " i. 'The ' !.' : atcl the; Hoar's' vis ' ! ;. *Ji?ve cotirji-a?.! friend; the !. . i! Is 'i t.i.' " The P:*-p'c. ;-i ,\ it; i . Virvrhii.i U'ljo! :'<>; : i. *i. il?? '-as the! owner of . ; >" ; * . j:: I at the! loss of !' : . orite .*< !.c -a !<> < he. co"i ! ;'! was Wei! aiali in-j conso'a" L\ I ' : wife, endeavor-1 ii.tr t a' . 1. * The I..?r*l | an ] I. i . i: ::v.ay." "Ye Ii . M - 'it. 1 ... >\ . I I'J ! i an't j see what the I. '. i *..d \\i.' an mid ; steer." "S. 3. A. N." i *..?* ? .* T~ *ti???? ! % u-MC uhil':* ! ius down lV:n:s\!Vi*ni;i avenue. Washington. when .1 dapper vounir gentlemau approached him and said: "Ah. senator. how de do? 1 called on >vu tills morning. I>irl you get my cas t?" "Yes," said tin- senator. "but what I did you moan l?y writing *K. IV in the j corner?" "Oh. that's t'n- e >r:v t thins, you ; know, when you leave the card yourself. It means 'en personne.' left in person." Next day it was the senator who met i tin? voting gentleman and aceosted him 1 with the question: "Did you get my card? I called on i you this morniiig. or. well I called by proxy." "Yes. but I could not make out the meaning of R A. NY in the corner?" "Oh. that's the correct thing when von don't leave the card yourself. That moans 'Sent by a nigger.' " The Lord and the Barber. One of I-ortl Salisbury's i>ot nnecdotes was of a barbor whom lie once patronized. On passing the shop a few days later he observed a placard in the window bearing this inscription: "Hair cut. 3d. With the same scissors as 1 cut I<ord Salisbury's hair. Od." Canary Wrote an Editorial. A story is told that there was In the office of the old New York Tribune ouly one' compositor who could read Horace Greeley's writing. Mr. Greeley, the ablest of editors, was likewise the poorest penman of them all. One day some of the other men in the office. in order to get a Joke on the old compositor, took a canary bird and. dipping its feet and tall in writing Ink. allowed it to hop around on a piece or paper. wnien was later nuns wnere Mr. Greeley was in the habit of leaviug the copy lie wished the old compositor to set up. The compositor looked at it. put it up on his case and went to work as if there was nothing unusual about it. Finally, about halfway down the page, be api>eared to be stuck. He readjusted his glasses and looked and looked at the copy and finally went with it to the desk of Mr. Greeley. "Here's a word 1 can't make out." said lie. Mr. Greeley looked sharply at the copy a moment, so the story goes, and then said. "That word is constitution; go ahead." A Matter of Gender. "I fear 1 cockroach too much upon your time, madam," politely remarked the Frenchman to his English hostess. "Hen-croach. monsieur," she smilingly corrected him. He threw up his hands In despair. "Ah. your English genders!" In a Pretty Bad Fix. Several men belonging to different nationalities happened to meet. The Englishman asked the Scotchman. "What would you be, if you weren't a Scotchman?" "I guess I'd be an Englishman," answered the Scotchman. "And what would you be. If you weren't an Englishman?" asked the Scotchman. "I suppose I'd be a Scotchman," politely replied the Englishman. "What would you be if you weren't a Spaniard." demanded the Italian. "Oh, I guess I'd be an Italian," answered the Spaniard. Aud so they went on making each other the same complimentary answer. At last came the Irishman's turn. 4,\Vhat would you be, If you weren't nn Irishman?" he was asked. "Oh, I'd be ashamed of myself," he quickly answered. Shortly after hearing this anecdote I visited an old man named John Graham. Curious to know what answer he would make to the question, I related the auecdote. "And now, Mr. Graham," I asked the venerable Irishman, "what would you be. if you weren't an Irishman?" His answer was made in a jiffy, without thought of making a Joke of it: "Faix. I'd be In a purty bad flx!" A. M. G. I the r*j.\;;;iER'$ epp.or. | It Turned a Cry Inta a L-ujh arid C.:<i!ed the It m irrh i ! .; happ-*:iv 1 over on! Stalon ! .V .t > -c .:rro?!! in (ireal . i.e./ Y >rk and -t a -lock ! company I. v.o. The lompsnv put on an e; ro irons farce one week,! (luring the course of which tin1 ioad- j in? lady made several burlesque! falls. In order to accentuate the ! comedy of these the stage manager j dire'ted the drummer in the or-j chest ra to give the bass drum a re-{ sound'ng "Vvlun-k every time the lead-1 in;* lady fell to the st;v:e. He followed instructions faithfully at every fall except one at the opening performance. The stage manager w::s furious. Afier the show he 1-r i a heart to heart talk with the drummer in his dressing room. "That was the place where the 'boom' would have got the biggest laugh, and you let it pass!" he roared. The drummer scratched his Tentonic head. "Yell, it looged serious dere." he answered. "Xo, that's burlesque," said the manager. "X v. every time you see her fa'! don't think anything, but ist wallop that drum. Sec:" "l uess." said the drummer, and at every performance thereafter the boom of the drum inner failed. The following week tho bill was "Sapho." The leading lady took her part seriously and studied great r.C.-v, ..j l>'i;ino? for the "bis scene** ;:t the close of the .third act when Jean loaves her. It would ho her great persona 1 triumph, she thought, and truly her work was a triumph, and the audience thought so, too, as the play proceeded. Not; an eye in the house w$s dry when! the loading lady threw herself j against the door through which Jean had j.ist passed with his angry farewell, Her form shook with sobs, ami the very atmosphere was tome with emotion. Slowly she staggered from the door, then, with a great cry of agony, threw up her haiuls and as the curtain descended fell prone to the floor while a Duriyi boom came from the bass drum. Tears lied from the eyes of the audience, the roar of applause was stopped as it began, and only laughter, wild and long, went up at Sapho's agony to the accompaniment of a bass,drum, while on the stage the leading lady bit a great piece out of the floor rug and hoarsely demanded to Ik; led to that drummer that she might wallow in his gore. New York Press. Contagious. An artist whose summers, spent in out of the way places, have brought him a rich reward of experience as well as of success tells many stories of the uninvited guesta who have gathered about his easel on different oect ions. In one little Connecticut village a freckled faced boy appeared as if by magic at his side one morning and gazed at the artist and at the picture then in progress with an intentness which was almost disconcerting. "Did you ever try to paint?" the artist asked him at last, and he was startled at the sudden illumination of the sober little face. "I kin paint some," announced the boy, with certainty. "My fa ther could paint, and I ketched it from him. But he's dead now, and I thought perhaps .1 could ketch some from you, mister."?Youth's Companion. Tending the Shrubbery. People often imagine that a shrubbery or bed of shrubs, once planted, will go on of itself for good. In fact, a shrubbery which may appear neat, tidy and cared for to the last degree may also be very much neglected. In the course of a little time the stronger and more pushing plants will have completelj overgrown and ousted the more delicate ones. The lady of the garden wonders why the pretty guelder rose and brilliant diervilla have dis appeared, the answer being simply that some great hearty laurel has deprived them of light and air and [r id till the struggle has been too hard for them. The careful gardener is therefore continually watchful for the well being of these more tender and beautiful plants. London Tatler. Cheerful Hint. Among the presents lately showered upon a Maryland bride was one that was the gift of an elderly lady of the neighborhood with whom both bride and groom were prime favorites. Some years ago the dear old soul accumulated a supply of cardboard rnottoc*, which she worked and had framed and on which she never failed to draw with the greatest freedom as occasion arose. In cheerful reds and blues, suspended by a cord of the same colors over the table on which the other presents were grouped, hung the motto: "Fight on; Fight Ever." Woman's Home Companion. , XI I \ T>.i you have backache occasional- | Iv, or "stitches ' in tiie aid*. uuil sotnetin.es <h> von feel ail t::-?! out. witliout ciirjji'.? If so \oii: k; in^ys j are on: ? ! ?r?i?-r. I'aK*- iA-wittV Kidtiev . i I'daililet I': 1>1 I b?*v I r? . v-VeOack.n ! iiiH iiiiia;; if,: ;>f tiic oand, | weak !{i?: if.oid .,> V. L'Wallace. M. i>. T-ulrro i:v. Si.nT't? i t:n) 1 ^ il vuj v. '* ? yy?*.n. to drown that eai ? Lot!#?Wei.. tio'V :UV a ? /"'" "id nine live... bat tii?s ;:<* hay* re. I think. Why, ' ;n.:::aijys .. that cat into a tab of war or and tied a brick round it> neck, and what do yon think r Miort '.j or?i*ii;o-s knows. Long Well. this morning when I went to look at the tub the cat had swallowed a':l the water and was sitting on the brick. I.ondon Answers. A tic-ling cot ah. f 0111 any catis-* is ?|iiit kly ?to|?| .-<1 by Dr Snoop's r.Mi-h Cure. At .1 ir i? so thoroughi\ l.ai liih'.-.* as.tl . I bat Dr Shoop r -1! ^ mot hi r- ? * * . a in-: ? to give it without he.-i'.stt' ?ii. ?-v. i. to verv vouug ba'-es. 'I he wholesome green leaves and tend- >t :ie? a lungboalin^uioiii;?aii i:- -In ui'. furnish t the curat i\v pi op,m' ? i.? I'rSiejopV (V'.lgll (."'.lie. I (v.i:,s the cocajl, i'ol In a s tile -ie ami tei .?iti\e bionciiiai iin-uibiata s. No opium, no chiorotoiin, :Ktiioiiir iiarsii MS' ii to injure or sine>ress.Simply a res iiious j-b'tit extract, that helps to healadi _ lutiirs. The Spaniard mil this -hrnb which th- j)i ufes, "The Sacietl Herh.*' Aluuvs de. uiaitil Pr MioupT Couj.lt Cure PC Sroit. a 9 MAGAZlirE^ ~| BEADERS [~ SUNSET MAGAZINE be?utiful!;'il!ustrated, jjood stories .. and articles about Caiiioraia and * 3" all the F a: West. * T6** CAMERA CRAFT devoted ca;h moath to tbe ar~ l tistic leptodurtioa oi the best 3?I.UU work of amateur and professional a year piiot ograpr.ert. DOAD OF A THOUSAND WONDERS a book of 75 pages, containing 120 colored photograph* of ^O.'JTC picturesque spot* in California and Oregon. ______ Total . . . $3.25 All for . . . . $1.50 Address all orders to SUNSET MAGAZINE Flood Building San Francisco NOTICE! FARMERS Genuine Peruvian Guano, Guaranteed pure. Best Natural flanure to make Cotton and Tobacco. It leads. Also Nitrate, Sulphate and fluriate of Potash, Nitrate of Soda, Basic Slag. All direct from Importers to you. For prices, etc., write to J. J. SNOW; Agent, CHURCH. S. C. J Plant Wood's f1 ' Garden Seeds u FOR SUPERIOR VEGE. TABLES & FLOWERS. 4 Our business, both in Garden and Farm Seeds, is one of the largest in this country, a result due to the fact that S Quality is always our first consideration, q We are headquarters for Grass and Clover Seeds, Seed Oats, Seed Potatoes, Cow Peat, Soja Beans and other Farm Seeds. Wood's Descriptive Catalogue lathe best and most practical of seed catalogues. An up-to-date and reV cognized authority on all Garden I \ and Farm crops. Catalogue mailed / \ free on request. Write for It ^ If \ T. W. WOOD & SONS, /, )J SEEDSKEI, ^ Richmond, l? II I RHEUMATIC FOLKS! j _ ARE YOU SITE YOUR KID.\FYS ARE! YELL'? ( M.my rh< unat'c attacks ale due. to u;ic acid ii. tile Mood. But the ! duty of the kidneys is to remove all uric acid from the Mood. Its pres- ' ei.ce there shows the kidneys are in- j: a live. I>on"t dally with "uric acid H solvents."' You mi^ht go on till : doomsday with them, hut until you ' cure the kidneys you will never get wei!. 1 hutn's Kidney Pills notonlvi: , i remove i.ric acid, hut cure tiie kid- ! tiovs ami then all lander from uric! arid is elided. < Kupert B Calvo, bookbinder, em- < ployed ar the State Publishing Co , official printers for tlie State of j ^ Sourh Carolina, living at 1010 Lnm- ) ber Sr., Columbia, S C, savs: 'j, f thought I had rheumatism and j treated for it on that belief. I used f allki'ds of liniment. The pain jr was in my back and in my hips ) dear to the shoulder?. The lini' \ nients did no good and I took blood ) medicines but. they did not help me. f 1 took a long trip in hopes that the f change of climate might help nie. f' I was away for three months but ) could see no change for the better. ) I heard of Dean's Kidney i'iils and ^ determined to try them, and got a box at a drug store. They completely removed the pains out of my back and I have not felt a touch of 1 the old trouble since I ttstd them." ] F<>r sale by all dealers. Price 50 cell's. Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo, New York, sole agents for tlfe United States. T> tnii nnmo lU'inrwiwci t ut ii(iiu? i/vwu w and take no other. Dissolution of Partnership Notice is herebv given that on January 1, 1H08, the firm of Muggins and Eaddy (composed of II Edward Eaddy and F E Muggins), doing businfess at Chapman, S C. will by mutual consent be dissolved. The business will i?e continued byFEHuggins at thesame stand who will assume all liabilities of the firm and to whom all persons indebted to said firm will make payment. F E Huggins. H Edward Eaddy, Chapman, S December 27, 1907. l-2-.ft Citation Notices I'ATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA County c tW illiamsburg "y FM Bro kinton Esquire, Probate J -'.'ge, chereas'c 1> McClary, Jr. made sub to me, to r.rant him letters of adRi.nistration of the estate of and e.tf cts of W 0 McClary, Sr. / These arc therefore to cite and admonish ail singular the kindred and < rtditors of the said W D McClary, S?*.. deceased, that they be and appear b./ore me. in the Court of Probate, to be held at Kingstree. S. C.,on 18th day of .lanuary next after publication thereof, at II o'clock in tne forenoon, to show cause, if any they have, why the said administration should not be granted. Civen under my hand this 30th day of December, Anno' Domini. 1907. Published on the 2nd nav of January 1908 irr the COUNTY RECORD. P M Brockiston, Probate Judge. Hereafter we positively refuse to publish any commttnica-j tinn received at thislofttce later | than Tuesday, noon, except local and personal items, which will not be available later than Wednesday, noon, for the current week. By trying to be accommodating we are thrown late every week and we are tired of it. This notice applies to EVERY BODY. 4-25-tf. jiiir ?! } Applied by skilled mechanics j ? is worth a fair price. Cheap J ? mixtures slopped oil by cheap J r painters are dear at any price. J r We expect to receive a reasou- J r able equivalent for our labor. J r liut we give an honest dollar's r ( worth for every dollar we get, r fund we endeavo^ to permanent- ) lvsatisfy our customers. ) ALFRED WELLS, ) Painter and Paper Hanger, ) $ KINGSTREE, S. C. f J Leave orders with ) j Kingslree Hardware Co.^| Begistration Notice. T'eofiice or the Supervisor of Reg istr;.ti?>n will be opened on the first Monday in every month for the purpose -t the registering of any person who i- qualified as follows: \.l.us::all ltn\ * been a resident of . lli'* State for two years, and of the county one year, and of the polling precinct in which the elector oilers to vote four months before the day of election, and shall have paid. ?ix months before, any poll tax then due and payable, and who can both read snd write any section of the constitution of 189) submitted to him by the Supervisors of Registration, or who rati show that he owns, and has pr.id ill taxes collectable on during the present >ear. pioperty in this State issesM*! ;;t three hundred dollars or i a' \ r i ? i t T more. o. 1. .mcmilii, (Jerk of Uoani. jCLEANINQl ' i and Pressing, & j I Cleaning and Pressing and ? .Slight Alterations of Clothes ? ! dotie the best, of Style xby P. $ ' V. Hazel next door to Corner a j Drugstore. ENTRANCE ft \ hack in Kecess side of Stairs. 4 : Kxcleunt Bargains in Fine !j and Second Hand Clothing j? i ^.lso . ! Second Hand Clothinf for ! | Sale solicited. 11-14. n Your choice steak at Peoy pie's Market, Scott & Miller Proprietors. . 11-21-tf / I . tUnsurance. Fire Insurance, : Tornado Insurance, Plate Glass Insurance Life Insurance, i Health Insurancel# j Accident Insurance, Burglary Insurance. ^ We represent only Companies of unquestioned reliability and a policy is as good as a gold bond. We'll 'J Bond You?. As Cashier, Treasurer or any position of trust in any of the largest companies in America. I The Williamsburg Insurance & Bonding Agency, OFFICE OVKR L STACKLEY'S STORE, i/* i c r Iflingsiree, - w. a ) X T THE NEW YORK WORLD THRICE A WEEK EDITIONt Read Wherever I lie Knffliwh I.aiisuase it *|>okea? The Thrice-a*Week World expects to be a better paper in 1907 than ever before. In the course 'of the year the issues for the next great; Presidential campaign will be foreshadowed, and everybody will wish to keep informed. The Thrice-aWeek World, coming to you every * ^ /?11 f UA MimnAono t Olll&r U&Jj BCTYW ah illc ^ui ^vocq vi. a daily, and is far cheaper. The news service of this paper is constantly being increased, and it reports fully, accurately and promptly every eveui of importance anywhere in the worhl. Moreover, its political news is impartial, giving you facts, not opinions and wishes. It has full markets, splendid cartoons and interesting Action by standard authors. The Thrice-a-Weck World's regular subscription price is only ?1.00 per year, and this pays for 156 papeis. We offer this unequalled newspaper and The County Record together for one year for $1.75 The regular subscription price of the two papers is $2.00. j -T