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SlUOMDAN (fe SIMS} i'r?pHetor?. SUUSGKIt'TION. One Year.:u:...,:;.i:u::..8?0 Six Months.:.:;..i.1.00 ttflulstera of the Qospcl.1.00 AOVKUtl?KMKNTS. 'First Instortion.$1.00 fEaeh Subsequent Insertion.60 Liberal coutruuls Jiiade for mouth . anil over. job office 4sjPntoVAHtob lo.fco a-ll kinds oi Job 2^ivittting The Editors' Convention. I JEditor Oranyebimj Democrat: [Respectfully dedicated to whose soul is in sympathy with the' ihnltyra who have to plod through wearying .(columns of we(n)ekly cohtributions, ? consisting principally of "stale picnic literature;"] In the latter part of the Iwbhtibth eentnrV\ there once Jived a great and \envneu cosmologist, wlio was indeed the marvel bT his age. Ills generous heart was-.often wrung "with woe while pondering on the ignorance of his fellow-creatures. lie thought their narrow world too small by far, and longed to burst upon their darkened mental vision like some brilliant comet, which traversing the universe, startles worlds with its lurid blaze; and by the intellectual light emana ting from ins own tniud, by the radi ant scintillations of his glowing gen ius, forever dispel the gloom that hovered thcrp, and illume their minds with the broad light of reason. How best to accomplish this, he pondered long while sitting in his laboratory, for, in the pursuit of ^knowledge, he had not adhered to a ^Xnlitary beaten track, and was not ofdy deep in the lore of past ages, but k\ow the secrets of physical laws and phenomena, besides being conversant with all polite literature. Twilight shades were falling fast as he still sat buried in thought. "O, pitiful, benighted creatures 1" he lamented, "how can I rend the heavy veil be tween us? Shall I appeal to you? shall I wear out' my life endeavoring to walk in your paths, trying to reach you by the orator's eloquence? Im possible ; all could or would not hear, vain, vain 1 sigh for the victor's meed. My soul recoils, suffers, dc sp?tre at thought of your blindness? yet what can I do?" He bowed his noble form in speech less sorrow, keenly feeling the con sciousness of powers to do, and noth ing tobe done, yearning to overleap the blank wall that stared him in the face. Suddenly there came, quick as the lightning Hash over the electric wire,' tho rhpid transit oi sound along the telephone, or the swift incision by the phonographic hand, an idea which caused him to .?piing up with face aglow. "I wiJi write 1" he exclaimed, "I will educate?I will reach the masses .?I will edit a newspaper which shall be in reach of all." The longer he pondered, the more desirable and feasible seemed the scheme, yet it perplexed him to think how could he perform the work of a journalist and continue the pleasing labors he was unwilling to sacrifice. "In order to instruct others, I must study myself, and while I expect to contribute a great deal to this benefi cent undertaking, those who will be the recipients of ray favors, must be co-workers in the field-" Accordingly, the pre'iminarics hav ing /been thoughtfully arranged, as Um J?oat effectual way of bringing ? ? Jf an important subject under the o^g|Aidernlioii of the public, be called ^^r^nvcnlion. At that advanced pe riod of the world's history, the cause of education and enlightenment did not languish as it had done in times more remote, and now proved suffi cient to attract a large number pos sessed of but ordinary intellect as well as the literati of the land, who crowd ed the large temple of learning in their attendance upon the Editor's Convention, as it was termed in the "Hourly News," published by Messrs. II. E. Arsny & Co., in the city where he resided. With anxious hearts, the assembled multitude rested their eager gaze upon the high stage where towered* the majestic brow of the learned auto crat, who now arose and in a deep-! toned voice, unfolded in an eloquent oration, his grand scheme, and solic ited, nay demanded their co-opera tion. He announced that "The Great Constellation" would soon illumine the literary world with its effulgence, and that they now enjoyed the un precedented privilege of offering con tributions to this mighty work, and requested each to state in turn the na ture of his offering. A solemn hush prevailed over the vast concourse. Each felt the impor tance of the hour. To each trembling heart, the spini of Fame seemed lin gering at the vestibule of the glorious future, and Ambition sighed for a single breath of the ethereal atmos phere she breathed. Each looked timorously around as a pale young man arose. Ills dark eyes binned with hidden flic, :ts In low's eloquent tones he urged the hl Aims of the Muse of Poetry; He spoke ot tile halo which she east around the immortal geniuses that make the pa&t illustri ous, and the radiant glory She would throw title wh tho vistit or Coining years) and compared her place in the "Great Constellation" to the steady glow of the fixed star which ever shines with a pure and unwavering light, which needs not the reflected glow of distant suns to enhanco its beauty and brilliancy. His period was cut short bv ono of stern, dark mien, whose severe glance emitted u baleful spark as he ridiculed the youthful speaker. "Poetry, forsooth ! what need has the public lor that? How does it ed ucate? Improve? What truths of nature does it reveal? It clearly enunciates the wonders of science, I suppose? Our poet would imitate the ancient philosophers Who contrib uted their quota in erecting a wall of ignorance and superstition, by build ing up a crystalline structure which dazzled and misled the diligent searcher niter truth. Knell self-taught sage thought ho could discern the er rors of his predecessors, and establish his own speculations; consequently, timc-honotcd theories arose, which mystified by the obscurity of their Oligin, the incertitude of their found ation, and the intricacy which invest ed them wi'h an appearance of astute ness. The enthusiastic founder then fastidiously delineated his system in the classic cities of antiquity to throngs of eager students by whom Ins wandering vagaries were industri ously propagated. Thus the, idosyn crasies of individuals became merged in a sect distinct from all others and strict in its tenets. The Stoic, the epi curean, the Plutonic, the Pythagorean sects of philosophers?what were they hut the reflection and illustration of the characters of their several found ers? It required years of profound study by wise men to refute their er roneous doctrines. But through^the untiring exertions of genius', they were finally corrected and assigned to the shades of obscurity whence they only emerge as examples to en force the truth contained in the coup let, 'Errors like straws on the surface flow, lie who would search tor pearls must dive helow.' In modern times, along witli the tidal waves of knowledge, far-fetched errors arc borne on the current of I popular belief, and attain such a wide-spreud circulation as to meet witli universal reception. The aver age mind is so devoid of penetration as to catch the floating opinion of tho world, and receding from any intense, individual exertion, merely receives the opinions of others, and by reconciling them to its peculiarities of constitution, imagines them to be its own original conceptions. To up root these false opinions, ascertain the true, and implant them in the clouded brain, is tho task which I purpose entering upon through the columns of your paper. Science be ing thus divested of the dark veil which obscures her brightness, her endless array of wonders viewed through the necromantic glass held up in the vacillating rays of this twentieth century, will dazzle the en lightened world with their gorgeous panorama." Overawed by this glimpse ?as through a glass darkly, into unknown realms of thought, another portentous silence reigned over the audience. With a sneer on his handsome face and an ironical smile curving his cyn ical lips, another speaker arose, and with mock gravity, and an admirable imitation of the former's bombastic tone, addressed the philanthropist on the rostrum : "Pompous phraseology and a well dissimulated assumption of genius, mingled with presumlive transcend entalisms, very frequently are misin terpreted. Political fantasies and a psucdo philosophy the characteristics of which are eminently rccrcmcntions, | often infringe upon the stern realities of life, surreptitiously thrusting them aside, and substituting in their stead Utopian fallacies and transmutable speculations which at a cursory view, seem to be irrcprehcnsihlc, being founded on apparently creditablo hy potheses. A senseless logomachy is then made subservient for reconciling these contradictory ideas and render ing the phantasmagoria imperuienblc as a consequence, false ideas of life, und arLIQuinl conceptions of duty mil lead the uninitiated. f?oinetitJii's? how ever, autl I devoutly hope such will ho Ihb case ih the prescht instance, this periphrasis defeats its own ob ject nnd the sciolism is repudiated by those wise enough to understand the nomenclature of these superficial productions, which never attain with them even a meritorious mediocrity, hut aro as the sparkling of a shallow stream reflecting superior effulgence." His vein of sarcasm was arrested by a manifestation of restlessness, jn the audience, so that ho made way for a timid individual, evidently much embarrassed, and in dread of criti cism, who, in a few brief sentences, j presented chauns of fancy to II12 reader, and alluded to the soothing 1 effects of light literature upon the 'mind when wearied with severer la bors, concluding his remarks by mod estly reading the opening chapter of a romance he proposed contributing. A large imposing man with a busi ness-like air next arose ; with a wave of his hand which embraced the mod ern philosopher, his critic, ami the [ would-be novelist, he began in sharp, [ incisive tot.es : I "I could scarce restrain my impa tience while they were speaking. How insipid the stalo topics agitated thousands of years ago ! We crave something exciting, bearing on mod em events, neither philosophy, nor yet a love-lorn ditty. Behold in me the chairman of a committee on pres idential affairs. We want to know something about the times and the living men who are ruling our desti nies. Who and what they are, is a question of more importance. Shall our government be in the hands of thieves and robbers? Shall we send men of sense to Congress, or misera ble pettifoggers? Can we tamely sub mit to piundef ? ??" ' "Oh, leave it to the politician on the stage to thunder!" interrupted a bright-eyed, joyous looking young man. "Let those who arc obliged to do so, think and talk about such things. A;truce to jour-ofllobils'niid politicnns. This paper is for our ben efit, nnd we do not want a national mill to grind out bills and vetoes, ap propriations and elections. Give us something entertaining to refresh us when \vc have leisure to read. I offer myself as a reportor of all the festi vals, grand occasions, balls, local" ob jects of interest, incidents that trans pire in our midst, including personal items. Let us know what is going on in the social world." "His remarks sufficiently reveal the calibre of his mind," said a brisk looking individual, with a wide-awake air, and a conscious smile on his fea tures, who now stepped forward with agility. "Pleasure and festivals?he would like to attend them every day and write them up afterwards for those who did not. participate. He would please a portion of the readers at the expense of the others, and fail to meet the public taste. Mr. Editor, we want the news in general, we wish to know what the world is doing, how we are progressing. History furnish es us with an account of past ages, oral communications will make us sufficiently familiar with topics of local interest merely, and upon these subjects it is useless to waste printers ink. Sir, in the Interest of M'J he Great Constellation," I will penetrate the ice-bound regions of the North, ex plore the tropical world, compass land and sea to secure the latest informa tion for its benefit . The names of the most illustrious actors on the world's great stage shall grace its columns? Cavagnari, Biddulph, Larrosdon,Bing hamton, Bostclick, Burkellon?yon shall see them make their bow and say farewell. The latest telegraphic dispatches from Australia and Cen tral Africa shall promptly appeal', to gether with minute dcta?s in regard to the revolution in Siberia. No part of the globe shall escape my observa tion of its people, their manners and customs, political and social gossip, while the most experienced aeronauts shall keep me posted on their atmos pheric explorations. In fact, Mr. Editor, I will endeavor to secure a world-wide popularity for this new periodical, by becoming its world wide reporter." His auditors woro a somewhat puz zled expression, but nevertheless, seemed to appreciai,o the importance of the self-styled "world-wide repor ter," who seemingly entertained such a comfortable opinion of his own ca pabilities. Though the editor awaited further | oilers, no candidate for literary hon ors presented himself. Scoing that the discussion was ended", the fotmer arose, and closed the convention witli the following remarks: 4li have, been very much gratified to sec such n ready response to the call I have made upon this conven tion, but nt the same lime I am ex tremely bewildered. My intentions wore to furnish tho means of instruc ting and pleasing everybody, but to day I have learned that that is im possible. The poet, the philosopher, the cynic*, the n?vclist, politician, pleastire-aeolter, the cosmopolite? how can their opposing tastes be rec onciled? How can 'satisfaction lie guaranteed to all these different minds in the compass of a single newspaper? I despair of a compro mise, nnd will consider the subject carefully for some time longer ore I take any further decisive steps toward the publication of "The Constella tion." And the bewildered philanthropist while endeavoring to enlighten others, received a lesson himself, and discov ered for the first lime that unless you consent to do it in their own elected way, some people, absolutely' refuse to be enlightened. Mionon Etta, Not Generally Known. It has long been the boast of Bri tons that the sun never sets oh the British empire, It may be news to many of our readers that the same boast applies with equal force to the United States. When the sun is giv iug its good night kiss to our wester most isle, on the confines of Bob ring's Sea, it is already flooding the fields and forest of Maine witli its morning light, and in the eastern part of that Stale is more than an j hour high. At the, very moment when the Aleutian fisherman, warned by the approaching shades of night, is pulling Iiis canoe toward the shore, the wood chopper of Maine is begin ning to make the forest echo with the m?sic of his axe. From the farr thest eastern point of on? countr}', at Eastport, Me., to the farthest of the Aleutian Islands?acquired by our purchase of Alaska?the (distance is one hundred and ninety-seven de grees of longitude, or seven degrees of longitude, or seventeen degrees more than half way around the globe. Freedman's Saving Bank. The experts "employed in examin ing the books and accounts of the Freedman's Bank are massing some evidence of the irregular manner in which the business was transacted and the deposits accounted for. They have discovered leaves cut from the original ledgers, leaves without numbers pasted together and bal ances not brought forward. Omis sions occur to every book found. In deposit ledger "A" balanced foot up, with amount duo depositors, aggre gating 810,000. Whether these have been transferred or finally settled it is impossible to tell, there being no indexes to the ledger, these being toin out and destroyed. Unfortunate ly the statute of limitation will pre vent a prosecution of the persons re sponsible tor tins mismanagement of the affairs of the bank, but tho depos itors urge that it will be some satis faction to know who the rascals are. How, Now ? The mild form of bulldozing which prevails in the New England States is as dangerous to the freedom of the ballot and to Republican institutions as the more violent form which is charged upon the South. The Wal lace Congressional Committee, at present engaged in taking testimony in Massachusetts, has had many wit nesses before them who testified that they were discharged because they refused to vote in accordance with the wishes of their employers. It ie I apparent to every thinking man that unless men are allowed to vote as they wish the day is not far distant when a Republican government in this country will be declared a failure. Tub exodus in Texas is assuming a queer phase. Near -Galveslon the negroes, having become dissatisfied witli their condition, had determined to emigrate. The white people ap proved the decision of the colored brethren, and formed a committee on emigration to raise money to send the negroes North, and soon steps will be taken to bring in while men to replace the blacks, Sudden Death. Miss Marie E. Whaloy, the eldest daughter of Mnj) T. B. Whaloy, a prominent lawyer of Orangeburg, (lied Very suddenly last Wednesday afternoon, at the residence of Mrs. L. Alison's. Miss Whalcy came to Aiken early in the summer for the benefit of her health, and her friends supposed she was Improving, but in this they were mistaken. While walking out in the garden she was taken with a violent hemmorrhags nnd in.less than fifteen minutes the spirit of this lovely young lady hud taken its.flight to the land beyond the skies. .lust in the full Hush of happy wo manhood, her death is clothed with something more than common sorrow. Words cannot express the loan sus tained by her ?grief-stricken father and brot hers, whose chief consolation will be a hallowed remembrance of her pure womanly character while on earth and a happy rc-union beyond the grave. "The good die firsL I ul they whose hearts are dry as Buniminer's dust, burn to the socket.''?Aiken Journal' Review. For the Girls. This item, which we take from an exchange, is for the girls: "The blooming and beautiful young lady, rose-ehceked and bright-eyed, who can darn a stocking, mend her own dresses, command a regiment of pots and kettles,, feed the pigs, milk the cows, and be a lady all at the same lime, is the girl that sensible 301mg men aic in quest of for a wife. But you pining, wnsp-waisled, doll-dress ed, consumption-mortgaged, music murdering, novel-devouring daught er of fashion uud idleness, you arc no more fit for matrimony than a pul let to look after a brood of fourteen chickens. The truth is, my dear girls, you want less of restraint and ?more liberty of action ; more kitchen and less parlor; more exercise and less sofa ; more pudding aud less piano; more frankness and lesa mock modesty. Loose your corsets und breathe the puro atmosphere* and be come something jis good and beauti ful as nature designed." A Fatal Frolic. Three young fad ics who were pas sengers on the steamer Danube dur ing a recent trip to Shrcvepoit, La., landed at Minden while the boat was wooding. In a spirit of gayety they got into an ox cart lor a ride. The oxen ran off, upsetting the wagon. Misses Carrie Brewer and Maltie Joyce were maimed for life. Miss Van Bokern, the other lady, was the only one w ho escuped apparently un injured, but the bIiocIc lo her nerves was so great that she was taken ill, nnd her illness terminated in death. She was an orphan, her mother dy ing but recently. Leaving home, and in a few weeks dying among comparative strangers willi not one of her few relatives near to receive the last farewell on earth, is peculiar ly sad, even heart-rciiding. Indians. An illustration of the facility with which the Indians arc defrauded ami the Government is made responsible for their loses, is found in the case of some of the l'otlnwalamics, lately in Washington. Under the pretence that certain members of the tribe, who were fugitives in Mexico, were dead, speculators represented them selves ns their administrators, and secured their lands and shares of trust funds, amounting to 815,000 al together. A small moiety of this was recovered, but the Government must make good the remainder, the veritable and living Indians having returned to claim it. Another spec ulator takes several of the claimants in charge, and, appearing in Wash ington, makes application for their dividends. Divine service in the English par ish church of Cljaltcris was strangely interrupted a fortnight ago. A boy who was snaring birds in a garden near by saw a cat,run up a tree with a young rabbit in his mouth. Hav ing a loaded gnu, the lad on the im pulse of the moment fired at the cat, in a straight direction for the chancel of the .church. He missed his aim, but not the church window, for up ward of twenty shot penetrated as many panes of glass and alarmed tho worshippers. Fortunatelyj 1101 one was sitting in the chancel. The vicar stopped the service, sent foi l the police, and scolded the offender. J EDUCATIONAL COLUMN. All e?iiiniiinltfatfoifa Uttcrrfwl for iii\h column plionlil lio iMlilrcsinftl to .J. ti. (rs. Ilollowoy, Ksq.( who litis kh illy coiieenUra to i-ilit it. Mn. Kimtor.?I ace the following item in u lato issue: "That knife is worth a dollar. How is 'worth' parsed in the above sentence?" Theoyly diillculty, I am persuaded, consists in the very defective and er roneous systems of grammar now in common use. Our schools sutler no Imposition so egregious its in the cumbrous grammatical text-books in common use. They are full of con tradictions, and worse than useless di visions and subdivisions, innpluess of definitions ami want of precision, lliul can serve no earthly purpose except, to destroy the very science of English grammar, and to overtask the.verbal memory and obscure the mental per ception of the pupil. Once disen cumber our grammars of all this use less and contradictory jargon, (intro duced into them by the early writers to assimilate the Latin, when they, have no manner of practical adapta tion to our language,) and arrange a system on the true scientific princi-. pies of the English language, and the study becomes plain and simple. There will be no diillculty then in parsing any correctly written sen tence. "The British grammars of the En glish languange, appear to me to be very imperfect, and in some particu lars, very erroneous."?N> Webster's grammar, page 4. If they are imper* I feet why not supply their dcficicnccs ? If they arc erroneous, why not correct I and explode their error? Who was more competent to do this than Web" stcr ? It must be a sin to teach what we j know to be error and it is high liuie I that the truth should he made known. "So defective and erroneous arc the British grammars, and the compila tions in the United Slalesj formed on their principles, that, without fur ther helps the. construction of many established and legitimate phrases and sentences in our language cannot be explained.''-^Webster's Grammar, page 4. Then why not have the helps? And not "helps" in the form of more additions, rules and notes to the old systems which would only rendcr con fusion worse confounded ; but "helps" by utterly discarding everything from our grammatical*' text-books which tends to only perplex and confuse and is of no earthly use in aiding the pu pil to speak and write the English language correctly, and compiling a grammar in accordance with the true scientific principles of the language. Employ apt, simple and suggestive terms as tho names of iiic parts of speech, and then parse every word ac cording to its use No matter what the word may be, if its use in the sen tence is that- of a verb, parse it so? if used as on adjective, parse it as an adjective?if used as a preposition, parse it accordingly, anil so on through the whole of the parts of speech. When we have removed the accumulated mass of complicated ab surdities from our system of gram mar as now in use, the difllcullics of the study will vanioh as thin air. In Kirkhani's Grammar, page 1G2, may be scon the following sentences, elassetl as idioms, anomalies and in tricacies: 1 "The wall is three feet big l." 2 "His son is eight years old." j 3 "My knife is worth a shilling." 4 t "She is xoorlh him nntl all his conm c \ lions." 5 "He has been there three j tinus." G "The hat cost tcu dollars." i 7 "The load weighs a ton." 8 "The I spar measures ninety Jeit.u Now, I understand Kirkham to say that while these sentences are correct English, yet our grammars do not furnish any rules oi instruction how they may be parsed. These are but specimens of hundreds of similar ex pressions in daily use, ami something must be radically wrong if our gram mars furnish no rules by which they may be intelligently parsed. Why can't these sentences be parsed? We are told, "dollars" in the Gib ; "ton" in the 7th ; and "feet" in the 8lh, have no governing world, because "cost," "weighs," "measure," being a.etjve-intrnnsitivc verbs neither have nor can have ol jects after them. But I must contend that tluse verbs do have object? after them, especially, when I see then) frequently, as in the examples under consideration, gov erning objects. I must believe my own senses, any number of gramma? liana to the contrary notwithstand ing. Is it not better to teach the pu pil the truth rather than an error, merely because the error keeps in vogue ::n old rule taken from a lan gunge governed by different scientific principles, and which Contradicts the very senses of the student? "He has been there thtcc limee,* Whet is difficult about this? "Times is a noun without any governing word." But I heg ponton-"*"times*' is not a noun in this sentence* He has been there oficn, fecqneidly, first j last, seldom, qualify "lias been;" ".three times0 is used in like manner, and words used alike should bo parsctl alike. In the 3rd example "worth" is a preposition (relative would be a much , more suggestive and pioper term) and governs .shilling ; so in like man ner in the 4th, "worth" governs "him" and "connce'.ions," and in the sentence in your last issue "worth" govern1? dollar. In the 1st and 2nd examples from Mr. Kirkham, "The wall is three fat high" and "His son is eiyht years old," "high" is an apjeetive (descrip* tive is a much heller.term) and de scribes the wall and '.'three feet" help "high" describe the wall, and there- .. lore are helping or auxiliary descrip-dj lives. And in the second, "old" is ajj descriptive and "eight years" helping" descriplives. Is not this easy enough for any. child of ordinary capacity? "The difficulties that belong to the subject (grammar) have been increas ed by the. use of terms merely tech nical in designating tho parts of speech.'??Webster's Grammar, page 3. "Attribute is a word better Under Istood than adjective; though it were to be wished we could lind a more ! familiar term for that class of words." ?Ibid. What could be better "than "Descriptive" when we consider !lho use of that class of words in our lan guage? I am indebted fo* what I may know of English Grammar and- for1 I the ideas and views above expressed! to a grammar written by Prof. 'I. ?5? Mot'ris, and which deserved to take? . the place of all other English Guaair. -mars; - K&tl6&?[ . ? ?? fd i fi ?? '? ? A New One. "Pshaw," said Czardinc, ' as he seated himself in the Dtmocrat sane* turn, "llic snake stories that are go-, ing about arc all too thin. Why jiist' look here. Last spring I went out into the woods. I took along an umbrel lcr, which I laid dawn onto some rocks. Well, sir, about an hour af terwards I went to get my umbreller as it had begun to rain a little. I took hold of the handle, and as I gave it a shove Something begun to tear, and as the umbreller flew open a live black snake fell to the ground split in two from its head to its taiL The confounded critter had actually swallowed vay umbreller, and I never noticed it until I shoved up the dumb thing and split the cuss open from stem to stern. Adultery. We saw last week in the courlhouso a white woman with her three mulat to children. She was arrested for adultery with a negro, under the re cent law. We mention tho fact to a^k if adultery is any worse between a negro man nnd a while woman than between a white man and a negro wo man f Is the law any respecter of persons and colors? Is the law to he impartially administered and all mis creants punished? If so, it is welL If not we cannot nee the virtue of hunting up a few isolated cases of in dividual crime, isolated in being brought under the law, but not at all so in its criminal existence. Take them all up or let that poor creature out of Ihe jail and repeal the law.? Kiiigstrce Star. A darkey was once attempting to steal a goose, hut a dog raised an ob jection, and Sambo retired. The next night during a thunder shower he attempted it agaic, and just as ho was on the point of getting awoy with his fowl, the lightning sis nek close by and the noise nearly fright ened the .poor fellow to death. Prop ping the goose, he started away mut tering, "Peera to me dar's a heep.o/ fuss made bout a .common goose." TffRX will havo to search &rani when he arrives at San Francisco to see if he Ims any cholera germs se creted aliout Ins peison. That terri ble scourge is raging, in Japan. Let Ulysses be well quarantced and disin fected.