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Zl)c Pcnuicrut. PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY .HORNING, TERMS :—$2.50 per annum in kdrance. Advertisements. Oae Square, first insertion $1.50 One Square, second insertion .... 1.00 Everj subsequent insertion 50 Contract Advertisments inserted upon the most Reasonable Terms. Marriage Notices and Obituaries not exceeding 6 lines, inserted free. J5*aT* All communications intended for publica tion in the Darlington Democrat, must be ad dressed to the Proprietor. £>clcdci> WERE THEY GHOSTS ? BY MARY KYLE DALLAS. When I w.ns in France, a young fellow of one and twenty not easily frightened and by no means snperiticions, the adventure which I am about to rclato oocurrod to me. What myaUry really at the bottom of it I do not pretend to explain. I tell only what oc curred and leave the reader to judge for himself. I, for my, part, do not believe in ghosts. On Christmas eve I was going to dine with Madam N.—not with madam alone ,but with monsieur and the mademoiselles N. al so. I was delighted with the invitation and in the'very best spirits. I lodged in Paris, they lived three miles distant at a pretty chateau which bad been a part of madam's do*ry. I. was a charming place and they were charming people. They dined at aix. In the abort winter . days it would be dark by this time, but I knew the rosd well and enjoyed walking, coujeouat'My I started in time to take the road leislurely, and sauntered on admiring the picturesque scenery. The outskirts of Paris; a pretty little church, lighted alreaky. with kneeling wor shippers adown the vista of its aisles, a farm home or two, a bridge, then a long level road with distant mountain poaks, beyond waving grain fields—and then, as I thought, four small chateaus with terraced gardens) the third that of the N.’a. But reaching this point I discovered that I had made some mistake. The road ending suddenly in the oddest manner possible by running into a building—a heavy atone edifice which might be a prison, so gloomy and so dark was it, yet which seemed after all to be only a pri vate dwelling, for I could see through a win dow into a kitchen where a cook was prepa ring a meal and a woman servant washing dishes. Stepping up to this window I tap ped on the panes, and the woman servant turned. She was dressed in an old-fashion ed cap with a high crown, and wore modern sabots. Her eyes were immense and her face deadly pale, never in my life had 1 seen any one out of a sick bed so pallid— she waited for me to speak, and I addressed her in the best French that I could muster. "Excuse me, I have lost my way. Can you direct me to Monsieur N.’s?” “Monsieur is there already," said the wo man, in a strange voice “Pardon again,” I answered, “some other family of the name I search for. M. Charles Ji. —'s residence V’ “You are there,” said the maid. “You have come to the back entrance; but I will admit you will excuse my asking you to walk through the kitchen. Monsieur and madam await the dinner for monsieur.” Was it possible that the rear aspect of the chateau was like this? It must be so, after all. I knew the house must be just here, and I had seen it but. once—yet I was be wildered. I followed the woman acroas the kitchen through some passage, and up the staircase. There, she flung open tho door, aud I found myself bowing to two strangers. An old lady, with powdered hair and a brocade dress of wonderful richness, and an old gen tleman, in a costume suuh as I have not seen off the stage before. His fingers glittered with rings, his hair was powdered aud tied in a green helmet; he had lace ruffles, a velvet coat, white silk stockings, and diamond buckles. Yet his face was like of that of Monsieur N ; fi peculiar face, which one was not likely to forget—like it, though plainly not the same. . “Pardon,” I said—“I have made a mis take, I am a stranger here, and am looking for M. Charles X—■—— “You are right. We have been waiting or you.” said the old gentleman. “Wc are charmed to sec you. Take a seat, I pray.” I stammered aud faltered, and seated my- «alf. Could my friends be playing a trick on me? Were they masquerading for my beuefit? I glanced around the room. 1 had cer tainly never bad been there before; but two portraits on the wall were familiar to me— portraits Monsieur X had told me were those members of Ids family, which on the mother’s side she had been noble. Also an antique clock, with which they had told me a strange story was connected. Yes it was a sort of masquerade. I bowed and smiled to signify my appreciation of its excellence. Monsieur N T bowed also, but gravely. “May I be permitted to say that the cos tume is exceedingly becoming?" I said. The old lady and gentleman bowed to gether this time, but gravely still, and then 1 noticed that both of them were pallid in the extreme—as pale as the servant who ushered me in, indeed. The longer 1 looked the more this impressed me. I feard that I was staring impertinently, although cer tainly such a masquerade was intended to attract attention. I strove to speak merrily, but felt too dreamy and dull to maintain a conversation. Beside, my host anti hostess seemed to expert nothing of me but silence. We were silent a» the grave when the clock. “Mao’s noblest mission to advance, His woes ft*sail, his weal enhance. His rights enforce, his wrongs redress—” ss-so fes, a^isrisrxjivr. DEVOTED TO LITERATURE, AGRICULTURE, MORALITY, GENERAL INETLLIGENCE AND INDUSTRIAL IMPROVEMENTS. VOLUME 2. upon the mantle struck six, and on the in stant several servant* entered with material for a repast; at the same moment another door was also opened and two young ladies entered. The Mademoiselles N., doubtless. Their delicate features were the same, but their at tire also transformed them strangely, and they were also as pallid as the dead. We sat around the table after our first re cognition (mere formal bows and courtesies motionless and speechless.) Such rigid facet I had never seen. Cer tainly this was some trick to terrify me. I tried to laugh, but no smile answered me. Servants poured wine and passed dish es. I could not see that any one ate. I didn't. If this was ajokewc were scarcely merry over it. I felt my hair slowly rising'upon my head. I stared at the rigid facts in ter ror; they looked like those of corpses. I could have shrieked in terror. Sudden ly, as the clock struck seven, the old gentle- arose; he lifted a glass on high, a glass full of wine; the others also stood; I followed their example. “Longlife to King Louis,” said the o.d gentleman, and each pressed a glass to lip* blue, aud cold,aud rigid as lips never wer£ I coaid not touch mine; I had looked into its depths; it was filled with blood. “For Heaven's sake bring this jest to an end,” I cried. “I can bear no more.” And as I uttered the words I saw before me four headless bodies, each holding a glass in its hand,'and heard again the words: “Long live King Louis.” DARLINGTON, S. C., WEDNESDAY MORNING, JANUARY 5, 1870, NO. 11. JBaoomc* OfliccH ami I.siljor Wanted. The horror of that moment can never be adequately rendered into words. 1 have ne ver attempted'it. I shut my eyes and clasp ed my hands over them. Suddenly a voice cried : “Ah, Mr. Smeeth, you are losa yourself. I did so believe and arrive to conduct you.” I looked up and saw M. X. Before us was a terrace garden; not far away a neat little chatean. , “Am I dreaming,” I asked- “Whata trick has keen played upon me ?’' M. X., looked alarmed. “Arc yuo ill ?” he asked. But I could tell him nothing until he had conducted me into the pleasant drawing-room and seated wc iu a large arm-chair before the Are. Then, after I had swallowed a glass offwine, I narrated all that I have laid before my readers. Those to whom I spoke clustered around me, Monsieur N growing pallid as I proceeded, A» I finished, ha clasped his hand to his head and rushed from the room. Madam X caught my arm. “Never speak of this thing again,” she said. Before Monsieur returns I will explain all to you. These chateaus stand on ground once belonging to bis mother’s family, which was noble, though she mar ried a plain monsieur. It was grim and gray, as you have described. Monsieur X resembles his father. His sisters were like our daughters’ who were named after them. They were all guillotined during the Revolution. The mob siezed them at din ner as old Monsieur N——lifted a glass to his lips to drink the health of his King.— My husband was saved by a nurse, who dressed him In poor clothes and called him her own child. You understand. You un derstand. You have seen the sight which is always seen on the anniversary by some one. The ghosts of a homo, its belongings aud its inhabitants. Hush! Monsieur X— returns.” I bowed. In France one must not con. tradict a lady: but I do not believe in ghosts. Could any triek have been played upon me ? Had 1 taken too much wine? Did I lose my senses? These are questions which I have asked myself unavailingiy ever since, aud which I leave the reader to determine. Wonderful 1'.scape. Thursday evening while our yound friend. Mr. Elisha E. Meredith, of this, coun ty, was out b:rd-hunting, and he made a most wonderful escape. It seemes that the gun used by him was AYe clip the following from the New York Ditpatch, and wc thank Bro. Holmes for having put the ease in a manner so accepta ble to ourselves.—AT?. Freemason. There are two things in connection with labor that, to us, are very unpleasant. One is to have one brother Mason send another brother Mason to us for the purpose of hav ing us procure office or employment for the latter; and tho other is, to be frequently so licited, as we have been and are, by letter and orally, to get situations for those who declare that they are unable to get them for themselves. The first is a very convenient way on the part of the brother who may bo the sender, of getting rid of a persistent ap plicant, aud is a species of practical benevo lence similar to that of A asking B to do something for the benefit of C, while A does nothing himself to help C. This kind of left-handed charity has been practiced upon us to an unbearable extent, and in many cases the idea has been shadowed forth by the sendee that we were to advertise gratis for him—when we can not control a line in the advertising columns of the Dispatch— or we have been expected to neglect our own business and run around the city for tho purpose of &btainiug cmyloynicnt for tho sendee, while he and the sender are to qui etly and coolly await the result of our pere grinations, and if wo do not succeed iu our efforts, treat us as if wc had done them a personal injury; and this, too, when both were entire sti augers to us. During the past week wo have been solicited—importuned is a better word—in the name of Masonry, by those whom we had never seen before, to w-ito letters to the postmaster, whom vre do not know, asking for places for them in the post-office; to personally solicit the Police Commissioners to appoint three different people on the force ; and to see the Collector of tho Port, to whom we have never spoken, with reference to obtaining appointments as night watchmen for two, and as inspcctois for three people—all of whom, with one excep tion, we knew about as well as we know Brigham Young, the arch Polygamist, whom and his little family circle, we know about as well as wo know that the other Brigham the Grand Turk. At our pritato office, at the office of this paper, and even at out pri- srste house, we have been a wailed by these persistent applicants for employment, and wc have also been button-holed frequently in the streets by the same kind of j,' oplc for the same purposes. It is, no do. bt, very flattering to be supposed to be possessc d of great influence with public men ; but this kind of flattery is dearly bought when paid for by this spooks of perennial annayance and vexation—more vexatious than the tooth ache or the manner in which bill collectors follow up their prey. You may d—n the latter, but tho former class you must treat with some appearance of courtesy, no matter bow little you may feel that feature as one of the elements of respect. We know that othqr members of the craft who have held, and now hold; high positions have been equally with us troubled and an noyed by matters similar to those of which we complain. Present or Past Grand Mas ters and Grand Secretaries are generally pre ferred by those who want office or employ ment, as their special solicitors, though less exalted officials in the fraternity have not been exempted from annoyances, as many of them can testify with entire sincerity, and probably a little soreness. Perhaps the prac tice of our brethren who have sent applicants to us so frequently could be generally adop ted beneficially, if all acted in concert, aud kept the pests traveling from one to tho oth er, until they became exhausted, ns did the persons, some years ago who were scouring the town looking for a mythical Frank Ale- Lauchlan, to get imaginary letters from a j friend to California. An old bachelor, who who detested children, once hit upon what he thought was r happy plan to amuse ba bies aud keep them fiom crying, which was to put a little molasses upon the balls of the fingers aud thumbs of both hands, and then give them a feather. As fast as to which it ' other, aud screws, by a taxed screw-driver, and then our remains be placed in a Taxed hearse with taxed horses, driven by a taxed driver to a taxei^ grave. To spare us from the first taxation may save us for a while from the rest. In conclusion, let us say that while we are willing to assist and aid the needy and dis tressed brethren who arc worthy, we still have a duty to perform to our family, our profession and to journalism, and hope that those for whom this article has been espe cially written will take heed and govern themselves accordingly. At least let them bo merciful while the thermometer ranges between eighty and ninety degrees. 1 . firowulow- ■_L . 1 ■" —~ TU«‘ Dying Parson, I.ogerrtJ of n Niusltcf. Mark Twin tells the following story, relat ed by a fellow passenger, woo, being bantered about his timidity’ said lie had never been seared since he loaded an old Queen Anne’s musket for bis father once, whereupon lie gives the following: “You see, the old man was trying to learn me to shoot blaekbiuls and beasts that tore up the young corn and such and such things, because 1 could be of some use about the farm, because I wasen’t big enough to do much. My gun was a single-barrelled shot gun aud tho old man carried an old Queen Anno musket that weighed a ton, made a report like a thuuder-eiap, and kicked like a mulo. The old man wanted me to shoot, the musket sometimes, but I was afraid. One day, though, I got her down and so I took her to the hired man aud asked him how to load her, because it was out in the field. “Hiram,” said he, “do you see these marks on the stock and X and a V on each side of the Queea’a crown? Well, that means ten balls anddive slugs—that’s her load.” “But how much powder?” “Oh,” he says, “it dont matter; put in three or four handfuils.” So I loaded her up that way, and it was an awful charge—I had sense enough to see that, and started out. I levelled her on a good many black birds ; but every time I There is a spectacle in the Senate which ought, perhaps, to receive, but which often- er repel-, the commiseration of those who look upon it- This is the palsied, perishing figure of Parson Prownlow. As regular as the noon, the almost helpless old man is as sisted to Lis seat—a hair-cloth easy chair on the loft of the Speaker—in which he reclines, trembling all over, and constantly, like a shaken jolly. Peon from the gallery, his swarthy face looks like that of a malignant Indian. His lips contort themselves un pleasantly, aud liis hands twitching in every finger, remind one of a couple of enormous spiders crawling over his legs and along the rums of his chair. Once in a while the right hand makes a tremendous expedition to the desk in front, and returns with a handker chief dangling batween thumb and fingers. Sometimes, with great effort, it carries a glass of water from the ridge oOhe desk to the eld man’s mouth. Part of the time be sits with a leg hoisted on a corner of the desk, or crossed over the opposite knee, Ho is never motionless. IIis eyes see and his ears attend to all that transpires. Whenever the debate is earnest, or an interesting question is uppermost—particular! v if it concerns the South, or his own State of Tennessee—he listens to it as if it went through every pore ; the big dark veins on his temples grows big ger and darker; the desk shakes with the shaking of his leg; Ids hands clutch venom ously at his trousers, and the peculiar wry th ing of Ins limbs makes it appear as if he would give up all his life after that one mo ment, if fur the moment he had strength to get on his feet, aud poor forth as of old a flood of vituperation upon his enemies- But Lc has no strength left to speak, and was compelled the other -hiy to have the person al explanation of his course in regsrd to re cent political events iu Tennessee, which he had prepared in manuscript; read by the clerk, Some expressions in it were abusive of Butler and other tnombers of the House, and the Vice-President stopped the reading. The omoLion of the dying man in the easy went to pull the trigger I shut my eves and , ' hair - 80 racKd him ' jested ^ ^t-ACoount of hjf feeble condition, the road- be wffiared to proceed. This wa p otUj .Vise, perhaps winked; I was afraid of her kick. Towi sundown I fetched up atthe house, and was the old mau resting oB-thfc porch ye a very short one, and wishing to fix some thing almut the breech, be bonding over i pulls the feathers from cr.o band rested the s tock upon the ground and the j had adhered, it would stick to tl muzzle against bis body, while with a small stone he struck the brcceh, causing it to go off The whole load passing through his so the little darling is kept amused during the whole day. l.et the boro be considered as the feather, and the fingers as tho bored. clothes struck a can of powder in one of his j and the apporitcncss to our subject of this “Been hunting, hare “Yes, sir,” sajre I. “What did you hill ?” “Didn’t kill anything sir-t-didu’tjC her off—was afraid she would (i blame well she would.") . “Gimmic that gun ?” the old man said, as mad as si a- And he took aim at a sapling on tho other side of the road, and I began to drop back out of danger. And the next moment I beard the earthquake, and heard ihe Queeeu Anne whirling end over end in the air, and father spinned around one hoel with one leg up and both hands on his jaw, aud the bark flyiug from that old sapling like there was a hail storm. The old man’s shoulder was sot back three incites and bis jaw turned blaok and blue, and be had to lay up three days. Cholera nor nothing else can ever scare me the way I was scared t hat time.” A Miracle in Kentucky A strange story is current among the co!ord people aud is exciting some of them quite too much for their happiness It is as follows:—Some time ago (not long, however.) a child died; and its body was duly confined and taken to the buryng ground. There it was deposited along side of the newly open grave. After the ’’ser vice at the grave,” a negro took hold of the coffin to hand it down into the grave, but, to his astonishment., he could not move it. He called to his assistcncc am thcr stout fellow, and the two tried but failed to budge the coffin, Two more came to their help, and the four had no more power over it thau they would over a mountain of granatc. The coffin clung tight tight to the ground as if glued. This astonishing turn of affairs called for an cxphinati n, and it was determind to open the coffin and see what was inside of it.lt was d.'iiie, and behold the eliihl was found to alive. Further examination developed the fact that there was printed upon tho bottom the baby i °'‘ i " s ^ ^ the-'- viands: “There lias been no preacher in Heaven for eleven hundred years.” The negroes sayt hat the Lord did not intend to let that child he bur: 1 alive and so took this inethod of previ-nting it. It is our < : Iniou that some d, signed scamp has been playing upon the credulity ol tho *‘ pee* ave consum- .1 c.sii ItilliiigV J-Vinalc KciiiitrkM. Dear girls, are yu in sarch ov a husband ? This iz a bumper, and y« are not required tew say “Yes” out loud, but are expekted throw your eyes down onto the earth, az tho yu wa/. looking for a pin. and reply to the interrogatory with a king of drauling sigh, az tho yu wax eating an oyster, juice and all off from the half shell. . Not tew press *o tender a theme until it bekums a thorn in the flesh, we will presume (tew avoid argument) that yu are on the look out Yor something in the male line tew boost yu in the np hill ov life, and tew keep bis eyes on the britching when yu begin tew go down the other side of mountain. Let me give ynsuni small chunks ov advice how tew spot yure fewter husband. 1. The man who iz jc-llons ov every little attention wh cli yu gitlYom sum other fellow, yu will find after you ary married to him, luvs himself more than he duz yu, and what yu mistook for solissUndo, yu will discover has changed into indifference. Jcllousy isn’t heart disease, it is a liver complaint. 2. A mnstash is not indispcnsible; it is only a little more hair, aud ii a good deal like moss and other cxcressences—often duz the best one silc tha won’t raise ennythiug else. Don’t forgit that those things which yu admire in a phellow before - marriage yu will probably hav tew admire In a husband after a long time. 3. Ifhusb.mds could be took on trail, az Irish cooks arc, two-thirds ov them wbuld probably- bo returned; but there don’t seem tew ho euny law for this. Therefore, girls, yu will see that that after yu git a man, yu have got tew keep him, oven if yu loos on him. Conoequently, if you hav got enny kold vitles in the Iious, try him on them, onch in a while, during scouring season, and if lie swallers them well, andsez he will take some more, he is a man who, wen blue Monday cumr, will wash well. 4. Don’t marry a phcller who iz alwuz a telling how biz mother duz things. It iz rz hard tew suit theza men as it iz tew wean a young one. 5. If a young man kan boat you playing on a planner and kant hear a fish-horn play ing in tho streets without turning a back sninmcrsctt on account of the mugick that is in bim; be might answer tew l>«bo, ^ but if^yoa yu set him hoeiegout the garden, > W-tn. Job peptutinfutT TUe above Department will he promptly at» temle 1 to, ami all work in this line executed on the most satisfactory terms. We rill furnish at short notice i.i ir hiAiVKS. ir.iXD biu.h POSTURE CtBCfflARS. Ji VSJXKSS CA R DS, WRDDIXO CA R/)R, mil uhahs, PAXmn.KTA. f A I! 27. S, All .Tob Work will be fAsu on delivery. A priest asked a tipsy fellow Icaufiig against the fence, whore he exported to go when he died. ‘If I can't get along any ] better than now,’ said the follow, ‘I shan’t nowhere.’ Never marry a mm who treats his moth, or sister unkindly or indifferently. f?nch treatment Is a sure indication of a wickctjfv man. Another'll!tie girl, delighted at tho sing) ing of the bobolink, naively and beautifully asked, “What make* he sing ao sweet moth-, er ?—do he eat Jtoirers A cross without Christ never made any man better, but with Christ saints arc much better for the cross. A baptism was to bo salt,ionized in our blockading fleet pff North Carolina in 180fi, and notice was to be given to the fleet by signal- Tho book contained no symbols for “bapsism,” and the order was signalized thus) “There will be religious diving on shore at 2 ib m. An ill-matchcd couple wore always quay, reling. One day the wife pointed to a cat and said and dog that lay together near the stovo and said: “Look at them ; they don’t quar« rel.” Ah,” grawoled the husband, “tie them together, and then see.” The hog may not be thoroughly posted in arithmetic, but when you conic to a “square root” he’s there. The following sentiment Is attributed to Napoleon Bonaparte: “A handsome woman pleases the eye, but a good woman pleases the heart.. The one is a jewel —tha other a treasure.” “How came such a greasy mess in the ov. en?” said a fidgity old spinster to her maid, of-all-work. “Why,” replied the girl, “the candles fell into the water, and I put them tho oven to dry.” A lady asked a pnpil. at a public examlna. tion of a Sunday School. What was the siu of the Pharisees ?* “Eating camelt, marm,’ quickly replied the child. She had read that tho Pharisee* strained at gnats and swallowed eauiol*. A green horn sat a long time very attcut- ively musing upon a cane seated chair. At length he said; <‘T w«v»<l“'- —b-* follow look the trouble la find all them are holes; and put straws pockets and glancing, passed up between his arm and side burning both. The flask, con taining about a pound of powder, was upon one side penetrated and torn that the fire from the gun caused it to explode, literally burning up one sido of his coat, hurling him furiously arouud, aud painfully but not seriously hurting bis left arm. iSume gen tlemen standing near and witnessing the accident, say that they cannot conceive how it was possible ho escaped being killed as it reminded them more of the explosion of a casou than anything else. Meredith, however took the acsidcut very coolly : being inter rogated by his companion as to whether he was hurt, replied, “that he often heard it said that a miss was asgood as a mile, but no long er believed it, for he had been missed but had lost both coat and powder.”—Manassas (la.) Gazette, anti-baby-crying inventiou b, -omosat oucc sweetly and painfully apparent. Seriously, this thing lias -. .no far enough ; for wc have submitted to it without a mur mur fur five years, aud now we think we have | lnA, '° a right to a growl, aud wo arc having it. It j is hard to say to a man's tooth the things w, have written, but seil'-proservatiou i.. the first law of our common nature, and, .-is wo arc getting advanced iu life, wc- must try and prevent our being bored by a species of of fice seeking taxation,-vvliieh will send us pre maturely between taxed sheets, under the hands of of a taxed physician, who will pro scribe taxed medicines from a taxed apothe cary, which will place us in a taxed shroud, to bo then taken in hand by a t axed under taker. who will put us iu a taxed coffin, the K tor MlilStei tateain.m, No v..— , Lexington! Ky.) lu. GAl.r.ANTPv.-—The Rev. U. F. Whitte- M. (.'.took charge of several FrcedmcuV Bureau” sch > .'l-marms” on their way to the North. At Florence, while waiting fur the train, ho proposed to give Mr. Gamble, of the Florence Hotel, the go-by aud take dia ller with a Beverond colored brother. They did so, and had a very good dinner, for which the Honorable member collected of the ladies the some of ?1 each. Subsequent ly, one of the ladies, complimented the Rev- w v*«n ‘ halls finlnber of young Among the transactions of tho craning a prize of a gold ring, offered to tllo lady who should out-waltz all competitors. At 12 o’clock the baud struck up “II Bacchio,” and a fail dozen competitors took their places on the floor, entering for the contest. At tho expiration of twenty minutes four of the couples gave way and took their scats, leav ing the rest twirled and whirling in the gid dy and intoxicating dances. One hour more there was hut three couples on the floor, and the dance went on till another hour had passed, when, from sheer exhaustion, anoth er couple gave way, leaving the floor to the remaining two pairs of terpsichortan devotees The hand of music played, and played, and the four fast.failing dancers danced, and danced, till even those who looked upon them grew sick aud dizzy. At the end of the fourth hour the musicians grew feeble, and from the finger ends of the violinists the Id ink trickled to the floor, butstill they sup plied the moving power to keep the dance going. The excitement grew intense as the fifth hour of the dance came on, and there wore those who insisted on putting an end to the merry, though reckless quartette sui cide. However, no interference was per- j mitted, and -the prize dance, over the jaws ! of death, went on. After five hours and three minutes had I clasped, one of the* ladies fainted, and her ! partner quickly followed her example, and ainid.-it cheers that the prize was award, d the other couple who keept tho floor. Then came a summing np of damages. Tlie two contesting girls were uighcr death than life, and had to be conveyed to their homes—to gether with their partners, who were as bad ly used up, in carriages, and all have since been in a precarious condition and under medical treatment. The girls had to have their shoes cut ftom their feet, and tin ir shoe* cut from their feet, and their limbs were swollati next day to an enormous size. Tha young in* :i will hardly recover, aud will never again play at a terprichorcan contest 80 much fur foolishness.—Fitlstmiy Foss. George AY. Harris extensively known throughout tho south as ”Sut Lovcngood,” died near Knoxville Tennessee, yesterday, of apoplexy, lie published,. ince the w ir, a book of his humorous sketches, the most popular of which "Sut loivcngood's Daddy Acting Horse" and ” Sut Lovengood's Shirt,” have been "going the rounds of the papers” for more thau ten years past ‘Ma, somebody is going to die,’ said a | knowing little fellow who was looking out of wiil-ftnd that yu ha v got tew do it yourself, vinso-whow.wholo heft lies in musick (and ' " “ i Iietj/y n^t that) ain't no better for a than scedlitiz powder; but it’be luvs fj.in-whole yu sing sum gentle ballad, (■h will find htn ncllow and no soft. But don’t marry ennyboddy for jist one virtew, enny quicker than yu would flop a man for jist a no fault. 6. It iz ono ov the most tuffcsl things for a female tew be an old maidc succesafully. A grate mouny hez tried it aud made a bad jobov it. Everybody seems to look upon old maids jist cz they do upon dried barbs —iu the garret, handy for sickness—aud therefore; girls, it ain’t a mistake that you should be willin to swop yursclf opb with some trew phellow for a liussbaud. The swop is a gool one, but don’t swop for enny man who iz respekted jist bccaus his father iz. You bad better be an old maid for 4 thousand years, and then join the Shakers, tew buy repentance at this price. No woman ever made this trade who didn’t git oither a pliool a mean cuss, ora clown, for a hussbnnd. 7. In digging down into this subject I find the digging grows harder the further I git. It is mutch easier tew- inform yu who not tew marry than who tew, for the reason there iz more-of them. I don’t think yon will follow mi advice, if i giv it; aud, therefore, I will keep it, for i look upon castor ile—a mean dose to give and a mean dose to take. But i must say one thing, girls or spile. If you can find a bright-eyed, healthy, and well-ballasted boy, who look* upon poverty az sassy a« a child looks upon wealth—wh* had j rather sit down 011 the curb-stun, in front of I 'em t>* “Bub, is your sister at home?” she won’t sec you to-night.” Why f “Cause sire said she was going to have ono good mess of unions, if she never did get another beau.” As a lawyer and a doctor were walking arm and arm, a wag said to a friend, “Ihcso two are just equal to ono highwayman. 1 “Why?” was the response. “Because it is * lawyer and a doctor— your money or your Ufe.” A Knotty Text. There was once an itinerant preacher In West Tennessee, who, poeewing considerable natural eloquence, bad gradually become possessed of the idea that ho was slso an extraordinary Biblical scholar. Under this delusion, he would very frequently, at the ulose of his sermons, ask any member of his cougragation who might have a “knotty text" to unravel, to speak it, and he would explain it at once, however much it might have troubled “less distinguished divines.” On one occasion, in a Urge audience, lie was particularly pressing fur some one to pro|aiuud a text; Lnt no one presuming to do so, he waj about to sit down without an opportunity to show his learning, when a chap back by the doer announced he had a Bible matter of great “couceru” which he desired to be er. lightened upon. The preacher, quite ani. matedly, professed his willingness and ability and the congregation was iu great cxciteuic-n*. “What I wantto know,” said the outsider, ’is whether Job’s turkey was a hen ora gobbler.” lid of which will be screwed luvu v:nii taxed erend colored brother upon the excellence of | the window into tho street. ‘Why?’ ‘Cause the dinner and the moderate price charged. ! the doctor's just gone by,’ was the reply, w hen to her suprise site learned that he had | vvhy ; a a , wn . Inakcr a bad moral! made ....charge, and bad r. -coW not a r.i,/ j ^ , H . ni . lU . s lneu j,w) st from the nncolorcd brother.— $v:ni<r .Y*.- • ! . . ,1 t !._, v y . / . • . ist The “expounder,, looked confused, and tho !.ic .»th avenue hotel, and cat a ham I congregation titered ns the questioner capped witch than tew go inside and run it. debt for i thc c ij nmx by exclaiming, in a loud voice— armed witli that kind ov pluck that mistakes . ..j fotched him doWn on , h<l f ust question!” a defeat for a victoy.mi advuo iz lew take Fr01u that timc fowari i t \ l0 p raot ico of h m, body and soul-snare him at unst, for ! ^ for difficu i tpaS v a?c ,* a .discontinued, he is a stray trout, of a breed very skasc in 1 our watirs. Take him 1 say,and bild onto | him, as hornets bild onto a tree.—A'ttc York 1 Wcck’jf, • Uiilciinblc, A writer in Georgia has been seeking to prove by figures, which do not lie, that it A YOUNG ladyTeiutenipIating matrimony | docs not or in ot,,cr worJ *’ t,l!lt it i8 ,,ot , , , , profitable to the fanner to raise cotton, was one morning handed a testament hv 1 , . 1 , 1 . 11 . We apprehend iu his zoal in be ha It .1 the her lather, with the leal turned down at .* * , , . 1. ,, , • .1 • production of corn, be tund more than he at the following passage: He who giveth in ! * - - marriage doeth well, hut he who giveth not : in marriage doeth better.” She immedtate.ly ; meant. Hueh mistakes, however, destroy all thc influence which communications of this character might otherwise possess} for all returned it with the following reply written . . underneath: “Dear father, I am content to I Ule, * know from ‘once that the ootton is do well; let those do better who cm.” morc P rofitab,e tUa, ‘ a, '- V ,?' I,Cr fP’ ^ 11 ^ Joes not follow that it will pay 4ht* u- ri*t better to cultivate cotton alone, ki Anegro boy stole adolliu Petersburg, Ya , the other day, and while protesting his iu. nocenco, unwiittingly pressed it as he cudea-i vored to hide it more completely under his production of cottyn, the s.np c wot shirt. The doll gave a loud squeak, and the i j" , ‘V uktt auJ 1 . thc P™* «< «**»**«*,•*.> . , 1 ly advance. Hence the only y-iaswgKlf little negro, who had never heard of crying ^ take of the su },j, jCt j* t0 oncc-dragc.. \ rsity of crops. A surplus of the South was devoted exclusive!. p-.-n.- dolls before, tunicdalmo.-it white and thought a miracle had been dona in his ease A fond wife threw a bottle of hair renew-" or at her husband's head, at which lie said : ■•\Ye t iuit part—the dec i u t. scarcity "f corn would turn us over, I hand and foot to the inanufaclnreft''of the Ei st and grain growers of the M eht, ***<, 11 sc. k and obtain a happy medium uf a . '•"II ly of corn and no surplus of cotton.