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Why does a waiter resemble a horse? Because he runs for the plate. The poor and unfortunate citizens of Fairfield, are being persecuted into sub mission. Brown has been re-nominated for Gov ernor of Tennessee, by the State Demo cratic Convention? To undertake to reason n girl out of love, is as absurd as would be the attempt to extinguish Vesuvius with a glass of water. A barber in a village on the Hudson River advertises himself as "The Phren ological Hair Cutter and Delectable Shaver." Time is the cradle of hope and the grave of existence. It deprives beauty of its charms, while it transfers them to her picture. An Irishman being asked, on a late trial, for a certificate of his marriage, ex hibited a huge scar on bis bead. The evidence was satisfactory. Poetry is the ilower of literature; prose is tho corn,potatoes, and meat; satire is the aquafortis; wit is the spice and pep per; love-letters are the honey and sugar; and letters containing remittances are apple-dumplings. Child?Father, what is a dikmmp.? When any one docs not know what to do. that is a dilemma. Chill. Ob, yes, I know?a dilemma is just like you when ma scolds you. Father. Hem! you talk too much, child. According to the opinion of the State Auditor a peddler must pay the fee pro vided for, by the License law, in every County in which he operates. If a peddler operated in all the counties of the State bis licenses would cost him 61/100 per annum. A boy in Brooklyn went into a barber's shop, and asked the barber to "cut his hair just as short as he could." "Did your mother tell you to have it cut so short ?" asked the barber. "No," said the boy, "hut we've got a new rehoo1 ma'am that, pulls hair." The barber cut it close. At a recent annual meeting of a ceme tery company, the chairman "had great pleasure in announcing to the meeting the gratifying fact, that the burials in tlf eonu-tory for the lnst year were double the number "of those of the year preceding." " COM^BCT AT,. OR A N( i EBU110 C( >TT< > N MA UK KT. Cotton.?Sales for the week ending May 14, about 20 hales. Ordinary lJj low middling 20Je; middling 211. Price ? Current, PREPARED KOK THE TIMES. [CORRECTED WEEKLY] : lb 19 @ 21 lb 10 (<> 00 1(1 (.4 12 : " U (a, if, bit tin (a l oo : " SO (/? 00 : " 7.", (? l On : cwl ? 60 (?< (i :?."> " 1 25 (a I 50 : bu (it) 7.", : : : ?lie? 7? " 1 G5 (" 0 00 : lb ?>; (.,. 50 : do/, (a 15 l>r 2 00 0i 2 ",() ' " 1 00 (? i 25 " 20 (<i. 2? : lb 10 Or -jo : " 10 (... 12 " 10 ? I am happy to inform the citizens of Orangeburg, that I have opened (at the stand formerly occupied by Mr. W. A. Mcroitey,) one of the finest Stocks of ALES, WINES, Liquor?, Cigars Tobacco, &c<> That has been brought to this market. Xfc?-Tho patronage of the people ofOr angeburg is respectfully solicited. ??rGive me a trial, both as respects the prices and quality of my goods, and I assure you, you will be satisfied. Don't forget, my store is two doors from Meroncy's Hotel. H. Funderber npr # OTTOSOBfTAG, DYER AND SCOURER OF GENT'S COATS, PANTS AND HATS. &c, Charleston, S. C. (.'i?t ton Bacon Hum* " Sides Lard : Corn : : Puaj : : Oats : ; Flour : Fodder : Sweet Potatoes Shad : : Bough Rice Butter : Eggs : : Turkeys : flcese : Chickens : Rees Wax Beef : Tallow WANTED IMMEDIATELY; Tbrco active men to canvasB Qrangcburg and Barnwell Counties for the Times. A chance to make money. Apply immediately nt THIS OFFICE. WANTED IMMEDIATELY, Five hundred bushels of peas for which I will give the highest cash prices, E. EZEKIEL, my 18 Opposite Post Office. THE ART TONSORIAX. lam pleased to inform the citizens ofOr dngcbttrg and vicinity that I have openeda Bather Shop, over thgStoro of Captain Brigg rnann, where I am ready to *erve them in my profession, which ?on.usts of Hair Cutting, Shaving, Shampoo! ng, llair-drossing and such other work as belongs to the Unisonal art. I ask trial. JOHN ROBINSON, ntiiv 1-Ihno DU. T. BERWICK LEG ARE, DENT A 1* SURGEON, Graduate, Baltimore College Dental Surgery. ??cc, Merket strtrf, <her Start of J. A. Hamilton. leb_M job printing AT THIS "TIMES" OFFICE. C ircmlars, I.iCj-i-al Blanks, Cards ami Posters, Executed with noatness and dispatch. Save "STour ^Soney! CO TO. J. P. II AR LEY'S AND BUY (.'ItKAP DRY GOODS, Roots, Shoes, Hats Caps &c, of which he has just received a fresh supply. A I.so, FLO CP* of all grades BACON/LARD, SUGAR and COFFEE of all grades. Resides numerous other articles in my Grocery Department, all of which lam scllin?at prices not to be excelled for cheapness in the town. Oor.iu and sec for yourselves. Vi, All persons indebted to me must pay up immediately, us I am compelled to close mv books. A word to the wise is ,ufli. lent. J. P. IIA RLE Y. Irl.-.! I THE SINGER STILL TRIUMPHANT! tub :>' EAV FAM11 A' 81 NC, ER SEVy*I>*G MACIIINE, WITH ATTAcilMT.XTS 3 <?!! Al.l. KIM S or WOKK is fast winning favor in the household, asshown by tlie rapidly increasing sales. ' Tl us N EIV FA MIE FS H11NO M. I CIII N7i' is capable of a raup;?- and variety of .work such as was once thought impossible to perform by machinery. claim and ran hhow that it i (he elieapest, most liea utiful, delicate! f arr.nu; ctl, nievly adjusted, eib^ilyotterated,andsutootli ly niuniag of all tit*- Family Sewing Machines* It is remarkable not only lor the range and va riety of its sewing, but iilwo for the variety and difiereitt kinds of texture which ii will sew with equal facility and perfection, using sill; twist, linen or cotton thread, line or coarse, making the fntciioclMl-cUwtic'&ticli, alike on both sides of the fabric sewn* Thus, beaver cloth, or leather, may he sewn with great strength and uniformity of stitch; and, in a moment; ibis willing and never-wearying instrument may be adjusted lor line work on gauze or gossapicr tissue, or the lucking of tarlatan, or milling, or utmost any other work which delicate lingers have been known to perform. At the World's fair, it received the grea award of the highest sales ! .1. K. TFIUTE, Agent. Sales-room at Engine House, Orangeburg, S.C mch 6 3iuoa DRUG ST?RET" For the liberal patronage which I luve thus far received from the citizens of Orangcburg and the confulcnce shown in me by very num erous friends, I take tho opportunity of express ing my sincere gratitude in the "Orangsburg l imes." The encouragement of past patron age ami kindness induce-; a strong faith in future succesy,and, while thanking my friend for past favor-, I can assure tin in that nothing will be left undone to deserve their continuing patronage. My storo is cssont'tally a Dnig Store; where will bo kept such Drugs and Medi cines alone, as I will warrant genuineand Pure. I have arranged to supply my custo.ncrs with Medicines of tlie very best quality afforded in the market. I avoid all cheap useless articles, and yet my prices shall he ns reasonable for valuable, good, fresh Medicines hs anybody's. I invite the Physicians of tlie District to call and examine for themselves. They are judges to whose opinion I submit. Send your orders anil they will be filled to your satisfaction. Just received a slock of pure, medicines consisting of Laudanum, Paregoric, Castor Oil Sweet Oil, Epmm Salts, Cream Tartar, Cnrb. Soda, Ac, Dye Stuffs, Paints and Brushes, Con centrated Eye, Patent Medicines of all kind:;. Just call at the .Southern Drug .S'lore on Rus sell .S'trect, mid you will bo sure to get what you want._ A. C. 1)VK IIS. AIJEX. Y. ARCHITECT Columbia. f6. CJ? Fair Notice f U'WVMSJ r TO ! I . . LIQUOR DEALERS. . "Wishing to make n change in our business, we offer for sale our large and entire j j ir' , < r Stock of * . . LIQUORS CONSISTING OP BRANDIES, COHN AND HYE WHISKIES, &C. And a large lot of JUGS, BOTTLES, FLASKS, & c.* AT i Cost and Carriage. WHOLESALE AND RETAIL. W. M. SAIN & CO., WILHELM THEODOR M?LLER HAS REPLENISHED HIS STOCK OF EATABLES, &c. FIVE KINDS OF IlilSFI SEKD POTATOES. ANOTHER LOT THOSE FINE TONGUES. DL'TCII HERRINGS, LIMBERGER KASE, BALTIMORE BALONYS, 9IIADINES, FINE BALTIMORE CANDIES. LEAF LARD, A. No. 1?in 3 pound, 5 pound, ami 10 pound cans. I.AKOK I.OT OP SHOES, DRY SAM AND SMOKED SIDES, Western and Augusta Flour, Aiioilier I-or ?fil? cent. I-Iams, GRIST AND MEAL. fiST" All packages delivered fre* of charge. fuh 11 g THE PLACE TO GET THE BEST BARGAINS IN ORANGEBURG IS AT Dry Goods Bazar, "Where will also be found the largest and cheapest Stock of Dress Goods, Notions, Clothing, Domestics, Piques, Boots, Shoes, Ladies'Gents and Children's Hats, &e., &c, &c, etc., THEODORE KOHN & BROTHER apr17-lyr B U L L, S C O f 1 L L & P 1 K E Are Almost daily receiving additions to their large Stuck of Gr TU INT IS I v A Tj M V] id TT A X 1 E BROWN COTTONS A^D DOMESTICS, Now in store, purchased before the advance. Just received a full Stock of B O O T S A N 1) S II O E S . AI.SO, HARDWARE, NAILS, &c, together with AGRICULTURAL IM PL HM EN TS, for farming purposes. GROCERIES in lull Stock, consisting in part of BACON AND DRV SALT MEAT. FLOUR of the well-known brands. SUGAR AND COFFEE which defy competition in price, and quality .A^geiits ibr ATLANTIC PHOSPH ATE, Coo's Phosphate, Wando Fertilizer, Pacific Guano. Manipulated Guano, Guanape Guano, as well as LIME, LAND PLASTER, etc., constantly on hand. B@-We are also agents for well-known FIRE AN LIFE INSURANCE COMPANIES: GERMANIA, of New York. Andes, of Cincinnati, O. Equitable Life Assurance Company, of New \or And lau\ but not east, tho celebrated SINGER'S FAMILY SEWING MACHINES, an exhibit is sufficient. Wo have and do sell the goods. ffbM BULL,, SCOVII.L, & PIKE. DR. E. J. OUVEROS, _ :. v. - i ORANCKBBURCr. S- C DEALER JN drugs, nm\m, inmm, FINE TOILET SOAPS, FANCY HAIR AND TOOTH BIIU81IES, PERFUMERY AND FAJTCY TpiLET ARTICLES, ? . , TRUSSES AND SHOULDBK-BEACES^' GR.tSS AXD GARDEN SEEDS. PAINTS, OILS, VARNISHES, AND DYE-STUFFS, letter-Paper, Pens, Ink, Envelops,Glass, Putty, Carbon Oil, Lajnpe and Chimneys Physicians' Puescuhtions ttccujUTlXY c'oMrouxcEu: " ? ?? a-iL? ?tb?iri ' '? The Citizens' Savings Bank OF1 SOUTH CAROLINA ORANGEBURG BRANCH. -IT w'^rw* <ho/ AViU pay 7 PER CENT. INTEREST on SPECIAL DEPOSITS and C PER CENT. 00 SvlV' INGS DEPOSITS, Compounded Semi-annually. I ? ?- - [ 1 1 ". ? 'JV;. .-.ii 1*4?T Local I^iTiaiirie4 Comraittee. Hon. TIIOS. W. GLOVER. Col. paxtTj s. folder. ( apt. JOHN A. HAmi/rQN.^ ^ ?oSvf."e8 ^ f? ** mcli 19-ly Assistant Cashier. TIfE lUXIVEBlSAli : tit it i. I :?' ? ?'' Itfl f jiiK litten I N S IT R A N CE COMP ANY,, 69 Liberi.v Street, New ITork. * _ l i Iffy i>tl? ,T*,fj iuiidi .?/Hui* .nttlxim tnh a The Original Stock Life Insurance Company of the United States: ,ir<.) Ii? </r?a . i, OFFICERS: ....... r WILLIAM WA.LKEII, President.. i;, f.n ^ , , HENRY J. FURRER, V ice-President. JOH N IL BEWLEY. Secretary. GEORGE Ii. MONTAGUE, Actuary; D. W. LAMBERT, M D., MediciVEramV . lf. ? ' . ' ';?rw at m .siviajWs <>' Tnia Company Oflers the Following Important Advantages to thoea Ahout Efleeting Insurance on their Lives. 1st. Insurence ut Stock Rates, being from 20 to 30 Per Cent, less than tho Rain ehargt.il by Mutual (Companies. .... _ > 2d. Each Policy-holder is regarded as u Stockholder to tho extent of one -Annual Premium on his Poltcy, and will share it; the Profits of tue < '-omp&nv to lha same ixtent as a Stuskitelder owning an equal amount of the Capital Stock. lid. Every Policy issue J by tliu Company, i* non-forfeitnble, and contains a Clause s^kt^|,i^f} ?xaet Surrender Value. r Bekohe IssrniNO Yova Like or Acxieftixo thk Aoency or akt Comzvistt ^ READ TIXE FOLLOWING = 1 A lengthened experience has demonstrated that the rates of Premium ordinarily charged by Life Insurance Companies am from twenty-live to thirty per cent, in excess of wha'tnre necesttTry for a safe anil legitimate conduct of the business. In other words, carefully t and P?'?tdt u4y,Juan? agvd Companies charging "Mutual" rates have been able to return to..?iei*ri X'ohcj-aoTders "from. 25 to IK) |?er cent, of the amount charged for premiums. When Life Insurance Com paries were first organized, the reliability of the data upon vrhiek the premiums were constructed had not undergone tho test of experience. It was? thought, thors fore, no more than common prudence to adopt a tcolc. of premiums which Tronld, in any otsht, meet all the presumed and unfon-cen Coutirtgencies of the busStien. I 'aioySi Sseat t*"\h As long a.s the matter was involved in some doubt, it was better to fix the rjdo too high than to incur the risk of making it tor. low; because, in tlie former case; the errofcould be easily reme died, at lca*t in part, by returning to th? policy-holders, at certain intervals', such portions of th? premium charged as was fouitd unnecessary for tlie pnrposes'of tho business and the i;o.mpl?t? security of the Company. Experience, however, ffaving satisfactorily demonstrated that these rates are oxcopsIto, Wkaf' possible excuse can there bo for maintaining them? ;r n tun ms :*>ujtz -> Availing themselves of this experience, the Directors and Manager? of tho Universal Jtijt la surance Cpinjuiinj at its organization, adopted a scab: of premiums in accordant* therewith, and which has proved to be fair and adequate, and all that was necessary to meet the rcqiiircntetttftef the business. These premiums are aootit twenty-live per cent, lower than4iioso charged bv Mu tual Companies. It also appeared, inasmuch as the rates so established were as near as conld possibly ha dctor miucd/.nV rates, and not in excess of wliat Insitruice has ]irevioifly cost the policy-holders in Mutual Companies, that nny profits arising from prudent management justly and properly be longed to the stockholders of the Company, for the risk incurred by them in undertaking'the "business. Experience has shown that there are sources of profit in the practice of the business which theory will not admit of be ing considered as eh menu in the calculation of the premiums.' Thess result from a saving in tho mortality of ".he mombers of a Company owing to the niudieal selee ? tun of good lives, a gain in interest on tlie in\estiuents of tho Company over that a,K>umcd in the calculation of its premiums'; the profits deiivable from the lapsing and surrender of Policifs by the members, and from other minor sources. f * Profits from these sources, in a company po-sessed of a capital of S200,000, and doing a fair amount of business, would give to the stockholders dividends largely in excess of what were counted on by the Directors of tho Universal it the time of its organization. Thev have, ihsre forc, determined to divide among the iwlicy -holdcrs of the Company a large part of the profits, accruing from the sources named, all of which have heretofore been divided among the. stock holders. The plan adopted for such dividends is as follows: Every person who mar hftreafter issuro with the Unfao'Sf? will, for the purpose of riivisibn, lie treated as a stockholder to the extent of one Annual Premium upon his Policy; ami vill share in the profits of the Company to precisely the mmc c.rtcn1. ?.i u Stockholder owing on cqnal amount of the capital ftock. By this system of Insurance, original v'itli tho Unircrsal, the policy-holder secures tho follow ing important advantages: First. Insurance at the regular "Stotk" rate, requiring a primary outlay of about hrcnti/ to thirty jH-r cent, less than that charged by Mutual Companies, and which is equivalent to a, yearly "dividend" paid in advance of that amount on mutual rates. This low cost of insurance is worthy of attention. Since its organization this company has received in premiums from its policy-holders the sum of $1,517,000. To cfiect the same amount of insurance in n MuttutMfts* pany would have cost them an initial outlay of $2,000,01)0. By allowing its policy-holders to re tain* in their own possession this excess of $-183,000, the Universal has virtually paid them a "dividend" of $48.1,000, and paid it, too, in cdvance, instead of at the end ef one or more Tfais.. It is impossible to find any example of a Mutual ('onipany furnishing insurance at to Jow a cesi by returning to its policy-holders an equal amount upon similar receipt?. SkcoNO, Participation in the legitimate profits of the. Companif, U}fffi,tt ff(in which secures to the policy-holders the mine treatment uhich Vinctors and Stockholders niearrf to themselves, . This snteni of participation, in connection with the low "stock" rates of premium, most necessarily secure to the policy-holders every advantage to be derived from prudent and careful manRgehicrlr. '1 he low rates of premium compel economy, and, independent of ]>articipatinn, guarantee te trie policy-holder his insurance at a rate which is not in excess of the cost In well managed rauinal companicsr while, by the proposed plan of participation in what may be considercfV the tegiti mate profits of the business, the cost will be still further diminished. Thus by the combined advantages arising from low stock rate and participation in the profits it is confidently believed that the UNIVERSAL LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY dfler? in surance at its lowest practicable cast. ' JJW Thosc of the existing Policy-holders who desire to participate in the Profits under the new Plan can do so by making application to the Head Office, or to any of the Agents of ihYCom panv. ? 1yhr, com)Vtny is in a sourA financial condition. Tlntio of Astets to Liabilities HO to 100* ISTGOOD RELIABLE AGENTS WANTET>, who will deal direct with the New Yorir Office, and to whom full General Agent?1 Commissions will be paid. M. AV. GARY, Mi C. BUTLER, State Superintendents of Agencies. I Columbia,?. C, SsptemborJ 1th, 1871. rtWf: