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I. ArtMI« for publication should be written |n e clear, legible hand, and on eal j one ride of the page: 4, AH abangee hi adrertiaemeaU must rack bs on FrUdf. VOL. VII. NO. 39. BARNWELL C. H.. 8. C., THURSDAY. MAY 29, 1884. 12.00 s Ye&r. gobUoathu, bit aee gaanstf «t goad Aidraa,. TOXPI0FL* CL&&S. THE CHUHCHYARD BY THE SEA. A KXltOKT. Across the waste of years I see One spot forever soft and green Which, shrined within my memory. In evening glow or morning sheen, Tells of the golden vanished years, When smiles came oftener far than tears. A churchyard by the restless sea, Where in deep, calm and dreamless sleep, Hie Dead lay resting peacefully, Unheeding the tempestuous deep; Careless alike of son and breeze, Or ebbing of those changeful seas. And oft when shipwreck sad despair Came to th« little sea-boat town, Pale women, with disheveled hair, To the wild shore went harrying down, And tenderly dead eyes wonld close, And smooth dead limbs for long repose. Full many a weary, storm-tossed wight. Year after year, in quiet was laid, Safe from the blustering storms of nigh‘ In this green spot and undismayed, Slept close beside the breakers’ roar, Whose wrath should mar his rest no more. And over each low-sleeping head, Where thymy turf grew green and soft, The wild bee hummed, and rosy-red The brier-flower bloomed, and np aloft The fleecy clouds went drifting by Like shades, across the summer sky. And ever as the years go by, And one by one old memories creep r From ont the sweet past solemn iv, I seem to see, beside the deep, Hist little, lonely, silent spot, With many a childish dream enwronght. — Chamhert't Journal. A Lover’s Dilemma. HOW ms TOOK THK BREAD OCT or THE MOCTHj or A BAKER S COSTOMERS. Translated from the French for the Pbila. ('all Ponparlin-en-Bigarrau was by all odds the most wearisome town in the whole department of the Garonne-Inferieure. Among its 8,500 inhabitants it con tained only eight pretty girls, a fact that disgusted all the yonng men living within its limits. One of these eight pretty girls was Berthe, daughter of M. Agenor Maleu- frond, one of the two rival bakcra of the town. Berthe was sweet 16, and would have bad plenty of adorers had not her father pitilessly driven away all the young men who had ever ventured to pay her even the slightest attention. M. Malenfrond had amassed considerable money, and did not wish his daughter to become the wile of a gallant without s son. Stanislas Coquelard, the town notary's youthful clerk, was gifted with a senti mental son]. He had just reached that age when the heart opens to love as the corolla of a flower to the kisaea of the breeae. Stanislas thought that Pou- parlin ahould furnish him with other happiness than contemplating the bmsul meadows during the day and listening to the song of the nightingales daring the night It was toward the dose of April, and, while he conscientiously copied the no tary’s documents, the young clerk thonght of the charming Berthe, and wondered what he could do to get into the good graces of her hard-hearted father, who, by the way, was a widower. Stanialas had read in the young girl's eyes that she was dissatisfied with her lot, and firmly believed that she wonld not be averse to accepting his heart and hand if ever he got an opportunity to offer them to her. Stanislas Ooquelard was twenty, and had abundant faith in the belief that his time would oome. The notary’s house was situated oppo site the bakery, and occasionally the clerk had exchanged through the win dows more than one fortive glance with the pretty Berthe. Every morning on his way to the no tary’s, he stopped at the bakery and bought a sou loaf of Berthe, as he paid for it, he rolled his eyes after the fashion of s young man who is desperately smitten and intends that the object of hia adoration shall know it On her side, the baker's daughter was far from regarding Stanislas in a way to discourage him. Such a state of things could not last very long without prodneing the nsual result The baker made his bread during the day, then went to bed and did not rise until it was time to begin baking, to ward half-past ten at night One evening the clerk, taking advan tage of the moment when M. Malen frond was still slumbering while await ing the boor at which his nocturnal toil was to commence, fell at Berthe’s feet and began a speech, to which he added the most expressive pantomime. He ended by asking her to marry him. Berthe, nunaed to snob masculine elo quence, wee melted, and in a low voice ooneented to unite her deetiny to hie. Stanislas, greatly affected, kieeed Ber the several times so enthueieetkelly that he awakened M. Malenfrond, who elept in a chamber over the beck shop. The baker listened, end thought he recognised the hand of hie apprentice who"had been dek for e week. Omr joyed, he leaped out of bed, erying; “Waits little, my boy, and XU kelp you kneed the breed 1 Yu coming doveT - There wee not a second to be lost, Berthe, who had a good head, extin guished the lamp and whispered to thr terrified Stanislas: ‘‘Hide yourself quickly in that chest over there and don’t be afraid. Til take care of everything I" Ooquelard followed her recommenda tion and felt his way along the wall in the direction Berthe had indicated with a rapid gesture. In the darkness he missed the chest'but encountered the dough trough; he felt s lid beneath his fingers, lifted it, and, as nimbly as a squirrel in danger, leaped into the box. He came down amid the dough with a thud, but he had the presence of mind to draw the lid over him. At that moment the baker entered the Apartment. "Saoreblen I” growled he, "there is no light here 1” Berthe instantly replied: "It's the fault of this wretched lamp. 1 tried to turn up the wick, but it went ont. That lazy Nicole most have for gotten to put oil in it I” A two minutes’ search ensued; then came the scratching of matches, and the lamp was lighted again. "What I” exclaimed M. Malenfrond, "are you alone ? Why, I thought I heard some one a kneading a little while ago !” "You had the nightmare, father 1" answered the daughter, soothingly. "Why, who on earth could be here? Gervais, our apprentice, is still sick and won’t be ont of bed for a week to oome.” "Then I didn't hear right. But now I’m up I’ll go to work I” And the baker, robbing his hrnds to get them in working trim, went to the dough trough and raised the lid. At that moment a great clammy hand arose from the depths of a box, hnrling fragments of soft dough in every direc tion. "What’s that—what’s that?” ex claimed M. Malenfrond, drawing hack a couple of paces. "Who the deuce is in the dough ” He did not finish. An enormous plaster of dough was applied to his face with a splash, cutting short his excla mations and blinding him at the same time. The baker was conscientiona in the exercise of his trade. His dough was well kneaded, and, though he made tremendous efforts to scrape the plaster from hia visage, two or two minutes elapsed before he was able to open his eyes and speak. During the whole of this scene, Berthe, paralysed with astonishment, had not stirred. When her father had succeeded, un aided, in ridding himself of his plaster, •he recovered her senses and began to cry: "Oh, mon Dien !” it must be a rob ber 1” "Ah, the scoundrel 1” groaned poor Malenfrond. "Where is he, that I may knock him down I” ^ And, all sticky as he was, he rushed to the dough-trough. It was empty, and empty in every sense. Stanislas in his flight had dragged off on his person all the baker’s dough. He had left in the bottom of the box only his shoes, that would have bothered him in running. "Oaf I” cried the nnfortauate baker. "The thief 1 .1 cannot bake to-night He has taken the bread out of the months of more than ten families I” During this time the clerk, all covered with dough, hastened ss well as he could toward the shop of the other baker, which was not far away. The latter received this farinaceous mass with the greater affability, as he brought with him fifteen or eighteen livres of dough. He scraped the clerk so conscientiously that the next day some of the inhabitants of the town found in their loaves, one a plug of tobacco, another a porte-monnaie con taining eighteen sous, a third a pocket- handkerchief and a bunch of keys. The luckiest had for his share a sheet of stamped paper. This worked against M. Maienfrond’s rival, who, accused of inattention to business, lost s part of his customers, thus once again proving that wrongly- acquired property never benefits any one. A few weeks afterward Stanislas ven tured to ask M. Malenfrond for his daughter’s hand. As the clerk bed re ceived a legacy of a few thousand francs, the baker gave his consent, and even took him into partnership in the bakery shortly after his marriage with Berthe had been duly celebrated. As for M» Xalemfrond, he was kept in strict ignorance of the real nature of the episode <ri the dough-trough, and hr ■ever afterward went to bad without having first osattoned Me daughter to be on the watch for robbers, 'Ton sea, Berthe,” ho often said to her, "it is not enough to keep sneyeon the shop, the dough-trough moat also bs watehad, ^ lor that then's nothing like the eya ofthe master or that of the lady who is learning marie that flrit is a good diah who writs storks, sta, and what would ha a proper 0 person aMrfaw omria Ws NOTES AND COMMENTS. Baron Nordenskjold, it is said, is contemplating a voyage next year to the South Polar regions. The expedition is to cost pi,000,000. The New York florists make up small flowers into slippers. A pair soled with velvet and lined with satin may be bought for the moderate sum of $50. An Enolish journal bats that if the emigration of young Irish couples to America continues the population of Ireland will eventually fall to three mil lions. The official statistics of Canadian railroads for 1888 show 1,275 miles built; $33,244,585 the gross revenue; 169 per sons killed, and 550 persons injured dur ing the year. In Warsaw, Wyoming County, N. Y., there are eight salt wells. Solid salt is fonnd at a distance from the surface of from 1,600 to 1,800 feet The beds are about 90 feet thick. Mr. Seymour, of the Batter, Cheese and Egg Exchange, says that some of the best families of New York have abandoned the use of butter because of their distrust of its purity. In the South, cotton mills are on the increase. Sinoe Jan. 1 100,000 spindles have been added, and the mills recently opened or in course of construe tion sre worth over $3,250,000. Cincinnati has penned up in her jail thirty homicides, seventeen out ou bail accused of the same crime, and twenty more roaming at will from having slipped through the legal nooee that justly claims them. A bill has been introduced in the Legislature of Massachusetts which pro hibits the exhibition of deformed per sons who are minors or insane, and of persona who have an appearance of de formity produced by artificial means. The Isthmus of Corinth, now under consideration, will, it is said, be sorely completed by 1887. The canal, 120 miles in length, will unite the Ionian and iEgean Bess, and save the voyage of 120 miles round the Cape of Matapan. The Carteb family is to have a re union in Woburn, Mass.,on Wednesday, June 11. The exercises will include an address of welcome, with response, a genealogical address, poem, orchestral and vocal music, and after-dinner speeches. During the recent fighting in Egypt Baker Pasha’s cheekbone was splintered by a four-ounce iron bullet, wliioh was so firmly fixed in the bone that it had to be sawed out—a long and painful oper ation—which was endured without any ausasthetic. The London Lancet informs a cor respondent that “the poesibility, nay, the certainty in many oases, of flies being s medium of infection, especially in warm climates, has been repeatedly pointed ont, though perhaps not snffi- <yeoUy borne in mind.” A North Carolina man whose house was demolished by a tornado afterward found his wstch hanging on a small limb «f a tree that had blown down in the yard, the chain wrapped several times around the limb. It was ticking away as if nothing had happened. Recent experiments conducted by Professor Koenig, of Berlin, shows that, within the range of the normal spectrum, a healthy eye can perceive about 300 differences of color, and its color-sensi tiveness ranges from more than one down to 0.2 millionth of a millimetre. Gen. butleb is mow said to have it in mind to write a book of reminiscences. A Boston publisher says that if he wonld write a book in two volumes it wonld be ensy to sell 250,000 copies through agents. This,* at SQ^jOenta a volume, would give the author a royalty of $250,000. Women at Sea, The life which women lead on board ship, says the Aquatic Monthly, is usually a monotonous one. Their quar ters are dose and their social opportuni ties are quite limited. The captain’s wife may tire of the society of her huabend or of the constant care of her children. If she wishes to go out to walk, she is confined to the quarter-deck. A flirta tion during her airing with one of the mates or carpenter would be beneath her. If she happens to be good-looking, the vessel will constantly swing a few points out of its coarse, for the man at the wheel will keep his eye on her as long ss she continues her promenade. She may make an occasional excursion to the forward part of the ship, but even in that novelty she finds little to attract her. A passing vessel arouses her inter est, and a hurricane relieves, to a certain extent, the monotony of her existence; but these blessings do not come along every day. She has no one to gossip with but the stewardam, and they find few matters of recent date which are worth discussing at any great length. The captain's wife may be as gay as she riiMMa without pausing any scandal, but, unfortunately, she baa very little to stimulate whatever desire for geyety she meypoMM. She has leeae adfundagm, however, for she k able to kaeprih eye on harhnsbsnd. How or where he spends kk eveadnp k no mypkty te her. DEATHS FROM TRICHINOSIS. Terri He RmhIu Which FcllcwcS Eatlas Haw Perk—Fear Uvea Le.t. A letter from Loyalhanna, Pa., says: —Two more of the seven persons who ate a quantity of raw pork about six weeks ago, died at the residence of Hans Galle, near here. Four persons, all wo men, have thus fallen victims to the first authenticated cases of trichinosis in the State of Pennsylvania. About a year ago Christian Sohilitser, his wife Emmeline and daughter Bessie, Hans Galle, his wife Catherine and daughter Marguerite and Edward Olap- ter, a young friend of the Sehilitsera, came to this country ss emigrants. They settled in Columbia county, but daring the recent floods in the Susque hanna river their homes were inundated and they lost a portion of what little worldly goods they possessed. They were very poor, and, crashed by this misfortune, moved some wdeks sinoe to a little hamlet near here. They had nothing to eat, and made their wants understood with extreme difficulty. Among them they mustered enough money to buy some meat, and it was de cided they should hsve pork. Christian Schilitzer accordingly came and pur chased s fst pig. The animal was dressed whole (according to the fashion in some parts of Germany), garnished with raw onions, red pepper and salt, but was not cooked. A family feast ensned, of which all the persons partook. One week after ward Mrs. Schiliteor died, having for several days suffered violent pains in the stomach and curious creeping and sting ing sensations in her limbs. A physi cian was called in, but, it is said, did not seem to understand the character of the disease. Mr. Schilitzer, however, who had served in the Prussian army and seen cases of trichinosis, suspected the existence of this malsdy, and a piece of flesh from one of his wife’s legs was taken to Pittsbnrg for examination. An anaylsis disclosed the presence of mil lions of minnte pin shaped worms with pointed heads, which had burroi^t in all the tissues of the unfortunat^fcj- man’s body. Mm. Schilitzer st length died of strangulation, a mass of the worms being found to have crawled into her throat and stopped it up. In the meantime all the others who ate of the pig had been prostrated. Christian Schilitzer, Hans Galle and another daughter, younger than Mar guerite, are not now expected to re- cover. They suffer terribly, and Schilit- zer’s arms have been eaten away until only a thread of the muscles remains. The Real Truth. The London Truth sums up the Egyptian question in the following way: "Hie real troth in regard to our interfer ence in Egypt is that we went there for the bondholders, that we have remained for the bondholders, and that every effort is being made to foroe ns to remain for the bondholders. We have no European mandate, we are fulfilling no civilizing mission, and as a country, we should be loners rather than gainers were Egypt made over to ns to-morrow as a free gift. Europe is not sorry to see us weaken ourselves, and does not object to our drawing the oheetnnts out of the fire for others. The Egyptians dis like os because we are Westerns and Christians, whist they are Easterns and Mahometans. We are in precisely the same fix as was Austria in Lombardy. If we establish any form of representa tive government that is a reality and not a sham, the first nse that will be made of it will be to bow us out of the country, bag and baggage. A certain number of wealthy and powerful persons who have already made millions out of the Egyp tian fleshpots wish to make a few mil lion* more. 'Unified at 80' is their cry. For this we have spent nearly five mil lion* of our money—for this we are called upon to undertake compromising responsibilities, and to act as taskmasters over the fellahs. Yea, 'Unified at 80’— this is, in plain words, our civilising mis sion. All the reel k shuffling and sub terfuge, trickery and dap-trap. It k to the credit of the Prime Minister that he is one of the few who perceive this." Old Soldiers. Grant always talks with a cigar in his month; Sherman never does. He lays it down somewhere wheh he starts to make a remark, forgets where he p&t it, and lights a fresh one when he has finished what he wanted to say. The result is that hia desk or the furni ture around the room in which be hap pens to be smoking, k usually loaded with several half-consumed stubs. At his headquarters, whan he was in Wash ington, it was generally the ease that these stubs were to be found in every room that he frequented, end the stuff officers called than "Sherman’s old soldiers.” A Plain Funxeal.—"I want you to promise me one thing,” said the kte Augustas SahoD, of Hew York, to his two brothers, Edward sad Bobert, two days baton ho died, “that k that whan I dk you will hevw no Bstsuktfcus fn- oeraL Oho ase a afcqffo burial, sad don’t let theoe ha any iiB»$Nh floral dhplay.” Thf tstthara pfeutfftad to do BURDETTE POINTS A MORAL. Th« Hawhirya H amortac Tails si a Dec Thai Wsat #MaaS Lsst Hitssll. On the Western farm where much of the rammer time of my life waa passed we had a dog. There being two or three boys on the farm, we had seven or eight dogs, as a matter of fact, bnt there was one particular dog, with whose tail I desire to point a moral He was a hun ter. Morning after morning, rammer and winter, he went forth to hunt. Night after night he came back home, his hair full of burs, his feet covered with * tone-bruises, and his ears pendent with wood-ticks. For seven long years that dog lived on the farm. He gnawed not the bone of idlonees, neither was he wise in the conceit of the sluggard, because in all those seven jeon he hunted all the time, seven days a week. But, alas! like the. slothful, he "roasted ifot that betook in hunting” (Prov. xii,, 27). Be cause he never found anything. Not one single, lone, solitary, lost thing did he find in all those seven years’ hunting. Never found a thing. But we kept him, because we believed, indeed we knew, that the dog’s intentions were good. He meant well. Every morning as he went forth, happy and confident, he hoped to find something and bring it home with him joyous and triumphant But never did. And at last one keen, dear, bracing November day, he went down in the ferny glens and lost himself. We never heard that he died; nobody ever saw him or heard anything of him again; his bark came back no more; he was just lost; he had wrapped the drapery of the unknowable about him and joined the innumerable caravan of intangible things he had been hunting for yean. The moral of this passage is self-evident There are men, even in your own circle of acquaintance, who hnnt all their livee and never find any thing. They take the CongrtMUmal Record for its jokes and read the Nation for political instruction. He goes to the minstrel show for amusement and reads the Washington papers for news. He goes to a summer boarding-houae to get cool and takes a vacation that he may reet He goes to the country for cream and fresh eggs and keeps a hone to save street-car fare. In all this he doeth foolishly. He hunts well enough but not wisely. Yon must know, my boy, before yon go banting, where to hunt for what yon want You might go deer stalking all over Coney Island for twenty yean and never bring home a pair of branching antlers to hang in the ances tral halls of the flat in which you live He Nearly Lost kls Pocket-book. "Tuesday I was down town,” rays the bed boy, "and an old farmer was walking along in front of me, and l saw him drop his pocket-book on the side walk. I yelled to him and pointed to the pocket-book, and told him he dropped it, but he told me to go to the hot place. It was April fool day, and he thought I wae fooling him, and be went ou laughing, as much as to say no town boy could play any jokes on your uncle Ike. WeU, I picked np the pocket- book, and it was a fat cue, and I fol lowed the old farmer, and pulled hia coat and told him here woe his pocket- book, but he hit me side of the jaw>nd said to go away or he would maul me. I never felt so mean sinoe my girl went back on me, but I didn’t want to keep the old man's pocket-book, and I didn’t want to be killed trying to deliver it to the owner. So I ran ahead of him and stopped and opened the pocket-book, and when he eame up I took out a roll of bills as big as my wrist, and showed them to him, and asked him if he knew whose pocket-book it was. What do you think the old granger did ? He took the pocket-book with one hand and took me by the neek with the other, and called me a thief, and said I ought to go to State prison, and he took me into a stairway and set me down and stood on my eoat tail so I could not get away, and kept me until he counted all the money in the wallet, ousain’ me between every ten dollars he counted, and when he found it wae all there, be put the wallet inside hia shirt and gave me a lecture about boys growing up to be thieves, end finally he gave me this lead, nickle, took his foot off my coat-tail and let me go, and then tried to kick me as I ran away. I don't think that wae right Only for me he would have lost hie wal let and probably have gone crazy over the lose.’ The CoBstltntion Bobert Rodney, U. 8. N., would like to have the Constitution amended so that no ettissn oould own more than ten mUttra doUan’ worth of property. Mr. Bodney is afraid of owning than tan mffltan *»i—ha easily gfvn away hia svftaa wealth, witbmt an smrnifainit. As lor the reet of the people, there are compara tively few of them who are troubled that way, and when they me they will maaige to get along under toe preeent OoMbtotiOBf IfljJS HI THE HUMOROUS PAPERS. what the wane of the rw: HAVE TO SAY THAT IE AMUEJNU. A boy's POCKET. Buckles, and buttons, and top, and marbles and pieces of string, a screw from a rusty old mop, and scraps of a favorite sling. Slate pencils, and part of a look, some matches and kernels of corn, the wheels of a discarded cloak, and remains of a mitten all torn. A jack-knife or two, never sharp, acme pieces of bright-e.lored glass, the rim of an ancient jewa'-harp, pane, fish hooks, and pieces of brass. Old nails, "aweeties,” ohippinga of tin, with bits of s battered-up locket All these, and much more, are within the depths of a little boy's pocket—7^ Continent. AT THE STOCK EiqSAMOH "I'll here to consult with a doctor I’m not well" "What is your trouble?" "I sleep too much. As goon m 1 drink eight or ten glasses of beer, I can’t keep my eyes open. I think I ought to be bled.” "I can tell you what will spars your eyes, and keep them open. Just you let me sell you, at par, for cash, a thou sand shares of acme railroad stocks I’ve got, and you win not be able to get a wink of sleep as long as you have them on your hands. What is riches without health V'—Auetin Sifting». HR DIDN’T FIGURE LIKE THAT. A German tailor in a village in Canada failed a few days ago and called a meet ing of hia creditor*. An investigation seemed to show that his liabiiitim were $4,000, yri his assets $1,000. "It thus appears,” said cue of the creditors, "that you can pay 25 orata of the dollar.” "Yhell, I doan’ figure like dot,” re plied the tailor. "How do you figure?” "Vhy, I pays feefty cents on dor dol lar." "Howoan you do that when your as sets only allow one-fourth ?” "Vbell, I prings the odder money down from dar house." He was not permitted to faff. CONSOLING. Mrs. Minks—"Who would have thought that that lovely Mrs. Blank, who was a bride only a few years ago should now be suing for a divorce ?” Mrs. Finks—"I do not blame her. Her husband abused her terribly.” Mrs. Minks—"Why, when they were married her husband was just as devoted as dear John is to me. I would die'if I thought that in a few yearn he oeuld change that way.” Mr*. Finks—‘ Oh, don’t alarm your- self, hi won’t” Mrs. Minks—‘Ton ere sure, then ?’’ Mrs. Finks—"Oerteta. AH your money is in your name. "—Phi ladelphim Evening OnlL WHAT IT CAUOnX. Mrs. Bilkson—"I hope this, Mr. Bilk* sou, will be e warning to you.” Mr. Bilkson—"What are you talking about, anyhow ?” Mr*. Bilkson—"An Hern in this paper. It says: *A man in Springfield, Me., be ing invited to drink, poured out e glass of whisky, looked at it a moment, and then dropped deed.’ Now, just re member that, Mr. Bilkson. the next time you are asked to drink. It teaches a terrible lesson.” Hr. Bilkson—“Tee, indeed. Delays are dangerous. ”—Evening Call. OVBB, LONG AGO. "How long have you been married, Mm. Slowbody ?” "Five yearn.” "Five yearn? Why, yon ought to have a wooden wedding.” "Have,” replied Mrs. Slowbody, glancing across at the meek figure of a man trying to hide behind a newspaper, "had that when I wae married.”—Air ington Hawkey*. AH BXPLAEATION. "How far te it from the City Hall to the Battery?” asked one New Yorker of another. "Aqoording to the city map it ia a mile, but I’ve walked it and I find it much longer.” "I oan explain that dteorepanoy. The city map does not go into every other saloon between the too pleoee.—Ttesoi StfUngt. kb ernuun *r non. "That’s my Knob over there,” eaM a fart young loan to U% fart companion; "we're pretty near brake and TO strike him for a jrafee. He won't go back on mat-*3tatyoa the drieke TO strike him for a ten and get it." The bp* wae made end the young "■truck” hie urate. A 1 tion raeiifli FtaaBy lb ratorned. Me frac finked Two hot* tempered fMte from Bailie were In Yorkvflle Pallas Ooeri yesterday. Ora had stabbed the other with a night key. The mm who did the stabbing said, in extenuation of the ftot* ■' "He called me a flamin’ raokes.” "What M ha did r said the Juattan "Gill allow no man to call me that” "Why not? What is a ■raker?” "Sham, Oi don’t know.” "How do you know but what it is a oomplimentery term ?” “It may be, ycr honor; but Motke nivar mint it for a compliment.” "Don’t you know that natives of the great State of Illinois are ealled suckers ?” "Oi did not, bnt Oi do now. Ofm •hare Moike niver mint to call me a native av that place, for well be Know* Oi’m from Tipperary. ”—N. Y. Sun. UFU AMONG the "My dear,” raid a Mormon wife to her husband, "I ahould think tort yon would be ashamed of yourself, flirting with that Mia* B. as you did in ehureh to-day." "Firting with her?” he replied in astoutehmral "Why we have been an* gaged for more than three It’* aU over town.” "Oh, I beg your pardon,” *aid kte wife indifhrratiy. "If you era engaged to her, 1 suppose it te ell right When dose the happy event oeeur V-PhUm ■ delphia Call. dull rnon. Canadian Hotel Keeper—"I don’t era how we are to get along. The horae te about empty, yet it te fanpomibie toi duos expenses. Look over the. oan papers tod see what the raws te," Hofei Clerk—"I have looked them. There has not been a big dekd* »tion in the United States for two seeks.” Canadian Hotel Keeper-"My aims f wa will be ruined. I timet to be ao dull" tin couldn’t rand it. "Why are yon home ao eariy T a wife of bar hrabend. "Is the i school exhibition ont ilready Y* "No; not more than fed! ato»”he>e> phtd, "Why didn't yon stay to toe etraaf Weren't you lufererted in the ringing?” "I was until a sixteen year-old bey attempted to ring 'Larboard Watch Ahoy.' Then 1 thonght I would acme homo, go to bed and try to forget aU about tt.” nr wawt cw "(km yen give men tittle Mount of y ova tote "Hot X don't bdfeve lernttofe ta*." “Well, will you appofet a time you oan? Yon groat deal and •Ifaojrit I am a hue fender.* Trustee Pullback offered toe follow, ing resolution: "JfMofved, Dai when a pram bra bis tried in dne form, eonvfefed by m honest jury an’ sentenced to prfeauVy • Judge m whom the people denee, deertesiaalsbouldrt his i Ofoeadem Jenes moved that the roll beeaUefl upon Ihavote, end fide bateg SUaffigWaSteirae the only timw irked m tmpeeing too rmolBtion. 'Dte imrirahun khan a subjeat of feds people ejt l — 11 been prononneed. “A Bobber er am* or detendfer or toief ir evun mar* kin rit down with a pieoeMehalk in one haa’an’a ahiagle in de adder make oins flguim en die matter. JPe murderer spikes hia victim to’ makes a break. De pepern howl, d> defeetivue rush an’ de pablie talk of tyrakfu*. If he am art pfeked up right away dM'am afaritada acta’de '■*£- Mm to trial When he am tried i vieted dar 1 am a heap of sweet talk’beat de majesty of the few. He gita, my, Mtoen yfea ia prison. He orter ham bin sent to kte, but it wae shown drt he was drank, or Me gnmdfbddar wm ot nfe great gmadmuddm had alias aofed a feetfe queer. * Befo* a fm baa paamd away somebody begfee to pMj* b deaomw ef timer toe yimi de proseenlia’attorney bagfes to oulmd, "Mr dear bey, the divided into eraape, the gsmhlea rad the Opecutateen” "I donV exactly too ttodritomra.* "XIV ft «*!$■» to* tot t T '-—r-'.- »- i