University of South Carolina Libraries
DB. TALMAGE'S SERMON " ABSURDITIES OF EVOLUTION. [Preached at JL&kealde, Ohio.] Text: 'The statutes of the Lord are right." ?Psalm xix, 8. Old books go out of date. When they wene written they discussed questions which were being discussed; they struck at wrongs which have long ago ceased, or advocated institutions which excite not our interest. Were they books of history, the facts have been gathered from the imperfect moss, better classifled and more lucidly presented. Were thev books of poetry, thoy were interlocked witn wild mythologies, which have gone up fmm fVifl fnon nf ? * ? vuv v*. WUV VUi VIA A XIVO UliSU> ClU SUU" rise. Were they books of morals, civilization will not sit at the feet of barbarism, neither do we want Sappho, Pythagoras and Tully to teach us morals. W hat do the masses of the people care now for the pathos of Simonides, or the sarcasm of Menauder. or the gracefulness of Philemon, or the wit of Aristophanes f Even the old books we have left, with a few exceptions, have but very littlo effect upon our times, Books are human; they have a time to bo born, they are fondled, they grow in strength,thoy have a middle life of usefulness: then comes old age; they totter and they die. Many of the national libraries are merely the cemeteries of the dead books. Some of them lived flagitious lives and died deaths of ignominy. Some were virtuous and accomplished a glorious mission. Some went into the ashes through inquisitorial fires. Some found their funeral pile in sacked and plundered cities. Home were neglected ami died as foundlings at the door of science. Some expired iu the author's study, others in the publisher's hai.ds. Ever and aiion there comes into your possession an old book, its author forgotten and its usefulness done, and with leathern lips it seems to say: "1 wish I wero dead." Monuments have been raised over poets and philanthropists. Would that some tall shaft vniirhh Im in *v>~ J ._0 w. - ** jjuuu* vt iud n ui iu a buried books! The -world's authors would make pilgrimage thereto, and poetry and literature and scienco and religion would coneecrat3 it with their tears. ' J?ot so with one old book. It started in the world's iuftmqy. It grew under theocracy and monarchy. It withstood the storms of fire. It grew under prophet's mantle and under the fisherman's coat of the apostles; in Rome, and Ephesus, and Jerusalem,and Patmos. Tyranny issued edicts against it, and infidelity put out the tongue, and Mohammedanism from its mosques hurled its anathemas, but the old Bible still lived. It crossed the British Channel and was greeted by Wickliffe and James L It crossed the Atlantic and struck Plymouth Rock, until like that of Horeb it gushed with blessedness. -Ohurches-and asylums have gathered along its way, ringing their bells ana stretching out their hands of blessing: and every Sabbath there aro ten thousand heralds of the cross with their hauds on this open, grand, free old English Bible. But it will not have accomplished its mission until it has climbed iihe icy mountains of Greenland; until it has gone over the granite cliffs of China; until it has thrown its glow amid the Australian mines ; until it has scattered its gems among the diamond districts of Brazil; and all thrones shall be gathered into one throne, and all crowns by the fires of revolution shall bo meltod into one crown, and this Baok shall at the very gate of heaven have waved in the ransomed empires. Not until :th~n will this glorious Bible have accomplished its mission. In carrying out, then, the idea of my text ?"The statutes of the Lord are rig ht"?I shall show you that the Bible is right in authentication; that it is right in style: that it is right in doctrine; that it is right in its effects. 1. Can you doubt the authenticity of the Scriptures? There is uot so much evidence that Walter Scott wrote "The Lady of the x^aKenot eo mucli evidence tbat Shakespeare wrote *4Hamlet;"not so much evidence tnat John Milton wrote "Paradise Lost" .as there is evidence that the Lori God Almighty, by the hands of the prophets, evangelists and apostles, wrote this dook. Suppose a book now to be written which came 111 conflict with a great many things, and was written by bad men or impostors, how long would such a hook stand? It would be scouted by every body. And I ray if that Bible had been an imposition; or if it had not been written by the men who 6aid they wrote it; if it had been a mere collection of falsehoods, do you not suppose that it would have been immediately rejected by the people? If Job, and Isaiah, and, Jeremiah, an J Paul, and Peter, and Joh^ were imposters tliey would have been scouted by generations and nations. If thut book has come down through fires of centiiries without a scar it is because there is nothing in it destructible. How near have they come to destroying the Bible? When tney began their opposition there were two or three thousand copies of it. Now there are two hundred millions, as far <os I can (al'.-ulate. These Bible truths, not withstanding all the opposition, have gone into all languages?into the philosophic Greek, the flowing Italian, tne graceful German, the passionate French, the picturesque Indian, and the exhmiRtVsa Anglo-Saxon. Uti ier the painter's pencil the uirth and the crucifixion and the resurrection glow on the walls of palaces; or, under the engraver's knfe, speak from the mantel of the mountain cabin; while stones, touched by the sculptor's chisel, start up into preaching apostles and ascending martyrs. Wow, do you not suppose, if that Book hal been an imposition and a falsehood, it would sot have gone down under these ceaseless fires of opposition ? Further, suppose that there was a great pestilence going over the earth, and hundreds of thousands of men were dying of that pestilence, and some one should find a medicine that cured ten thousand people, would not every body acknowledge tnat that must be a igood medicine '# Why, some one would say: "Do you deny it ? There have been ten thousand people cured by it." I simply state the fact that there have been hundreds of thou sands of Christian men and women who sav they have felt the truthfulness of that book ana its power in their souls It has cured A them of the worst leprosy that ever came down on our earth,.namely: the leprosy of >sin. And if I ran point you to multitude* "who sav thev havn fnlfc tVif. nnaov ssf ? v % - ? - ?w j/w .?v? vi tua? cure, are you not reasouablo enough to acknowledge the fact that there must be some power in the meiicine? "Will you take the evidence of millions of patients who have 'been cured, or will you=take the evidence of the skeptic who stands aloof and confesses that he never took the meiicine? That Bible intimates that there was a city called Petra, builtou-t of solid rock. Infidelity scoffed at it: "Where is your city of Petra T' Buckhardt and Laborde went forth in their exploration and tliey came upon that very city. The mountains stand around like giants guarding the tomb where the city is buried. They find a street in that city six mtte3 long, where onoo flashed imperial pomp, ana which echoed with the laughter of light-hearted mirth on its way to tha theatre. On temples fashioned out of colored stones?some of which have blushed into the crimson of the rose, and some o{ whi.h have paled into the whiteness of the lily?aye, on column, and pediment, and entablature. and statuary, God writes the truth of that Bible. The Bible says that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by Are and brimstone.- " Ab surd." Infidels year after year said: "lt'ls positively absurd that they could have.beet destroyed by brimstone. There is nothing in the elements to cause such a shower of death ma )) T X a i- * * " * - wu vuuv. uieut?uuui ijyucn?1 winK o? wai the first man who went out on the discovery, but he has been followed by many othersLieutenant Lynch went out itv exploratioc and cam? to the Dead Sen,which,by a convul gion of nature, has overflown the placfi where the cities once stood./ He sank hit fathominc line, and brought up from the bottom or the Dead Sea groat masses of sulphur. remnants of that vJry tempest thai swept Sodom and Gomorrah to ruin. Wh< was right, the Bible tha)T announced tin destruction of those cities, or the skeptic) who for ages scoffed at itlt ' I I vv..: -.;, .. u . -n : -.v. The Blblesays there was a citr called Nineveh, and that it was three days'journey around it, and that it should be destroyed by f fire and water. "Absurd," cried out hun- n d reds of voices for many years; "no city i was ever built that it would take three ?1 days' journey to go around. Besides, it could not be destroyed by lire and water; a they are antagonistic elements." But Lay- t! nrd. Botta ana Keith go out, and fry thoir " explorations they find that city of Nineveh, 3 and they tell us that by they own experi- U meat it is three days' journey around, ac- b cording to the old estimate of a day's jour- * ney, and that it was literally destroyed by 11 fire and water?two antagonistic elements? " a part of the city having oeen inundated by i J the River Tigris, the brick material in those f 1 HmfiS VlAl'n rr rl rin/1 olnw inotaorl A# 1 i while in other parts they find the remains of ? the fire in heaps of charcoal that have been y excavated, and in the calcined slabs of gypsum. Who was right, the Bible or in- 1 Qdelity? ^ Moses intimated that they had vineyards Q in Egypt "Absurd," cried hundreds of voices; ''you can't raise grapes in Egypt: or, " If you can, it is a very great exception that a you can raise them." But the traveler goes down, and in the underground vaults of 1 Eilitliya he finds painted on the wall nil the ' process of tending the vines and treading ^ out the grapes It is all there, familiarly i] sketched by people who evidently knew all y about it, and saw it all about them every , day: and in those underground vaults there p are vases still incrusted with the settlings of ^ the wine. You see the vino did grow in r Egypt, whether it grows there now or not. ^ Thus, yon s?e, that while God wrote the p Bible, at the same time Ho wrote this commentary, that "the statutes of the Lord are j right," on leavo1? of rock and shell, bound in j clasps of metal, and lyins: on mountain table jj and in the jeweled vase of the sea. In authenticitv and in genuineness the statutes of the v Lonl are right. T 2. Again, the Bible is right in style. I know ' r there are a great many people who think it f is merely a colle^tion of genealogical tables 7 and dry fn:-ts. That is because they do not' f know how to read the book. Yon take the ( mo^t interesting novel that was ever written, j aud if yon commenco at the four hundredth y page to-day, and to-morrow nt the three { hundredth,"and th next day at the first page, how much s?nsi or int?rest would you ^ get from itt Yet that is the very process K to which the Bible is subjected every day. t An angel from heaven realing the Bible in j c that way could not understand it. The j Bible, like all other palaces, has a door by I s which to enter and a door by which to : 1 go out. Gienesis is the door by which to go In and Reve ations the door to* go out. The Epistles of Paul the Apostle are merely iwwvi.i miuci^ up nuu &out uy pust* ^ men to the different Churches. Do you rend . other letters the way you read Paul's letters f . Suppose you cet u business letter, and you know that in it there are important financial j propositions, do you read the last page first, and then one line of the third page, and an- ' other of the second, and another of the first? No. You besiin with "Dear Sir," and end with "Yours truly." Now. here is a letter J written from the throne of God to our lost ! world; 4t is full of magnificent hopes and J propositions, and we dip in here and there, and we know nothine about it. Besides that, , people read the Bible when they can not , do anything elso. It is a dark day and they do not feel well, and they do not go to busi- ; cess, and after lounging about a bit they pick up the Bible?their mind refuses to en- 1 joy the truth. Or they come home waary ' from the store or shop, and thev feel. If they do not say, it is a dull book. While the Bible is to be read ou stormy days and while your head aches, it is also to be read is the'sunshine and when j-our nerves, like harpstrings, thrum the song of health. While your vision is clear, walk in this paradise of truth,and wliile your mental appetite is good, i -pluck these clusters of gra:-e. I am fascinated with the conciseness of this ] bcok. Every word is packed full of truth, i Every sentence is double barreled. Every i paragraph is like an old banvan tree with a i hundred roots aud a hundred branches. It is a great arch; pull out one stone and it all i i comes down. There has never been a pearl diver who could gather no one-half of the I treasures in any ver*e. Johu Halsebach, of ; Vienna, for twenty-one years every Sabbath I expounded to his congregation the first chap- : ter of the Book of Isaiah, aud yetd:d not get : I through with it. Nine-tenths of all the good , ; literature of this age is merely the Bible ' diluted. " ( 1 v>uovur, vuv ouumicu l?l aa SliOpLlt'B,UOU IUO wall of his house at Weimar covered with j religious maps and pictures. Milton's "Paradise Lost" is part of the Bible in blank verse. \ Taxso's "Jerusalem Delivered" is borrowed from the Bible. Spenser's writings are imi- ] tations from the Parabl?s. John bunvan saw in a dream only what Saint J-ohn bad sf ea ' before in Apocalyptic vision. Macaulav j crowns his most gigantic sentences with 1 Scripture quotations. Through Addison's j "Spectator" there glances in and out the stream that broke from the throne of God ' clear as crystal. Walter Scott's best : characters are Bible men itind women ' uuder different names, as Meg Merri- i lies, the Witch of Endor. Shakespeare's Lady Macbeth was Je/ebeL Hobbes stole i from this Castlo of Truth the weapons with ' which he afterward assaulted it. Lord Byron ] caught the ruggedness and majesty of his style from the propherie*. The writings of i Pope ar? Ftfturated with Isaiah, and he finds 1 his mo*G successful theme in the Messiah, i I The poets Thompson and Johnson dipped ] (hur ruin.' ( < nf ?!<? - : 3 rt-: VUVU irvun *14 WUU OKJ 10 WL OUO IliOJJJlCU VIICU* | tal. Thomas Carlyle is only a splendid dis- i tortion of Ezekiel; and wandering through the lanes and parks of this imperial domain of Bible truth, I find all the great American, English, German, Spanish, Italian poets, painters, orators and rhetoricians. Where is there in the world of poetic de; scription anything like Job's champing, ; neighing, pawing, lightning-footed, thuuder ecKed war horses? Dryden's, Milton's, Cow) ;per's tempests are very tame compared with David's storm that wrecks the mountains of Lebanon find shivers the wilderness of Kadihh. Why, it seems as if to the feet of j :th?se Bible writers tae mountains brought all*: .fchMr geins. and tho seas all tneir pearls, and tho gardens all their frankincense, and the ! spring all its blossoms, and the harvests all their wealth, and heaven all its grandeur, and eternity all its stupendous realities: and that since then po^ts, and orators, and rhetoricians have been drinking from exhausted fountains. and searching for diamonds in n realm etterly rifled and ransacked. This book is tho hive of all sweetness. It is the armory o* all well-tempered weapons. It is the tower containing tho crown jewels of the universe. It is the lamp that kindles t nil Other liphts. It isthfl home nf oil mn'M I ties and spYeudors. It is the marriage ring t I that unitei the celestial and terrestrial, while ] : *11 the clustering whito-robed denizens of the t | sky hovering around rejoice at the naptials. < I This book?it is tho wreath luto which are ? j twisted atl gurlauds: it is the song into whieh i ! are struck .all harmonies; it is the river into r i which are poured all the greut tides of baile- ( lujah; it is tho firmament in which suns and moons, and stars and constellations, and universe and eternities wheel and blaze and fc.'i- * umph. "\Vh9jie Is the yo.ing man's soul * , with any music in it that is not stirred with * , Jacob's lament, or Nahum's dirge, or Habak- 1 * kuk's ditbyrambic, or Paul's march of the 1 1 resurrection, or John's anthem where the el- 3 ders with doxology on their faces respond to the trumpet-blast of tha Archangel as he f i stands with one fopt on the sea and the other ( foot on the land, swearing by Him that liv- 1 eth forever and ev?r that time shall be no ' longer? \ I am also amazed at the variety of this J i Book. Mind yon, not contradiction or col- . i lision, but variety. Just as in the song you i have the basso, and alto, and soprano, and 1 . ... * 1 , wuui >uoj did uuv 1u ivuuiud willi faca 1 i other, but come in to make up the harmony. 1 , So it is in this Book; there are different parts ? . of this great song of redemption. The 1 i prophet comes and takes one part, and the ] . evangelist another part, and the apostle an- i other part, and yet they all come into the i grand harmony?"the song of Moses and the Lamb." If God had inspired men of the , same temperament to write this Book, it t might have been monotonous; but David, ; ana Isaiah, and Peter, and Job, and E/ekial. i and Panland John were men of different i temperaments, and so, when God inspired them to write. Jhev wrote in their own style. God prepared the book for all clawes of Mtple. For instance, little children would ;ad the Bible, and God know that, so he Hows Ma the w and Luke to writ3 sweet tj. iories about Christ with the doctors of the iw, and Christ at the well, and Christ at tho ross, so that any little child cau understand liom. Then God knew that the ajred people D1 rould want to read the book, so He allows olomon to compact a world of wisdom in bat Book of Proverbs. God knew that the fc istorian would want to read it, and so he Hows Mos63 to give the plain statement of be Pentateuch. God knew that the poet ?ould want to read it. and so he allows ob to picture the Heavens as a curtain, ai nd Isaiah, the mountains as weighed in p( balance, and the waters as held in the i J* ollow of tho Omnipotent hand ; and God Duched David until in the latter part of lie Psalms he catherod a g:'eat choir tanding in the gnllerios abovo each other? rc east ana man in tuo nrst gallery; above ttiem, ills and mountains: abovo them, Are and ' ail and tempest; f.hovo them, sun and rc icon and stars of light; and on tho highest allery arrays tho hosts of angels; and ben standing before tho groat choir, reach- W jgfroin the depths of earth tr> the heights a| f Heaven, like tho leader of a great orchesra, ho lifts his hands, crying: "Praise yo the W /ord! Let everything that hath breath praise he Loi*d! And all earthly creatures in beir songs.and mountains with their waving h: edars, and tempests in their thunder, and attling hail, ana stars on all their trembling J' arps of light, and angels on their thrones, tv espond in magnificent acclaim: *'Praise ye ' bo Lord! Let every thing that hath breath raise tho Lord!" God knew that the pensive and comolaln- ' Qg world would want to read it, and so he w spires Jeremiah to write: "Oh. that my 5] tead were waters and mine eyes fountains of oars!'' God knew that tho lovers of the B rild. the romantic an 1 tho strangj would rant to rea 1 it, so He lota E/.ekiel write of nysterious rolls ah;l winged creatures and \< lying wheels of fire. God nrep.ired it for all ones?for tho Arctic and Tropic, as well as 11 or tho Temperate Zono. Cold-blooded ft Treenlanders would find much to interest hem, and the tanned inhabitant; at the ~ Squator would find his passionate nature >oil with the vehemence of Heavenly truth. Tho Arabian would read it on his drome- it lary, and tho Laplander seated on the swift a led, and the herdsman of Holland guarding he cattle in the grass, and the Swiss girl re- f -lininc amid Alninc crags. O, when I see . hat tho Bible is suit?d in Stvle, exactly nit/irl tr\ nil nn-nc f A nil A/\nrli'f I/xna f/% nil (?.vx uu mi vunuuiuii^ V\J an and<, I can not help repoating tho conclusion j. >f my text: "The statutes of tho Lord are -ight." r< :i. I remark again: The Bible is right in its 0 lot'trines. Man. a sinner; Christ, a savior? ;he two doctrines. Man must como down? l< lis pride. hLs self-righteousness. his worldli- j wss; Christ, the Anointed. mustg>uo. If it lad not been for the s?tt'ng forth of the | J] Atonament Moses would never have described the Creation: prophets would not ' a rave predicted; apostles would not have j {( preached. It seems to me as if Jesus and , the Bib'e were standing on a platform in a ; n Treat amphitheater, as if t'je prophets 1 were behind Him throwing light forward on His sacred person, an I a* if J ? the apostles and evangelist* stoo 1 before Him | l like footlights throwing up tho:r light into j His blessed countenance, and then as if all c the earth and heaven were the applaudinz s auditory, tbe Bible speaks of Pisgah and Darmel and Sinai, but makes all mountains bow down to Calvary. The flocks l?d over th < Tudean hills were emblems o? "the Lamb of 8 Sod that taketb away the sins of the world;" i [ ind the lion leaping out of its lair, was ) in emblem of "the lion of Judah^ tribe." ' I will in my next breath recite to you the ? most wonderful sentence ever written: . "Th s is a faithful sayinjr and worthy of all 1 acrei'tation. that Christ Jesus come into the world to save siuners." No wonder that when Josus was tarn in Bethlehem Heaven 8 sympathized with earth, and a wave of joy i flashed clear over the battlements aud dripped upon tbe sheoherds in the words: "Glory to I G. d in the highest, and on eirth peace, good will toward men." In my next sentence every word weighs a ton: "God so loved tho world t that. He gave His only berotren Son. that .. whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Show me t uny other book with su.b a doctrine?so high, r so deen. so vast.' 4. A'jain: the Bible is right in its effects. I j Jo not care where yoi put the Bible, it just suits the place. You put it in tbe hand of a 1 man seriously concerned about his soul. I see . peonle often giving to the serious soul this J and that book. It may very well; but there ? is no book like the Bible. He reads the Commandments. and pleads to the indictment, "Guilty." He takes up the Psalm? of David, fcnd says: "They .lust describe mv feelings." "He flies to pood works; Pa il starts ^ tnm out or tbatby the announce-not: "A I j man is not iustifie 1 by works." Ho fall* I hack in his discouragement; the B'ble starts j * him u*> with the sentences: "Remember ? Lot's wife," "Grieve not the Spirit," "Flee the Wrath to Come." Then the man in de- ( spair begins t-o crv out: "What shall I doJ > Where shall I go?" and a voice reaches him j saying: "Come unto me. all ye who are weary and heavy laden, and 1 will give you I Take this B'ble and p'ace it in the hands of men in trouble! Is thero anybody here in i trouble? Ah, I migjt better "ask are there ? my here who have never been iu troublo? L Put this Bible in th^ bnnde of the troubled, c Von find that ns some of the beat berries ijrow on the sharpest thorns, so some of the I sweetest consolation.? of fho gosnel grow on 1 bhe most stinging affliction. You thought T that death had grasped your child. Oh. no! * It wa< oa'.v the Heavenly Shepherd takings f amb out of the coki. Christ bent over you j is you held the child in your lan.and putting His arms frently around"tb? little one, said: T 'Of such i- the kingdom of heaven." 8 Put the Bible in the s honl Palsied be th? land that would tiks the Bible from the col- c ege and the school. Educate only a man's lead and yo i make h'm an infidel. Educate mly a man's heart and you make him * t anatic. Educate them both toccethor, and ^ rou have the n ?ble<t work of God. An e lu at"d mind without, mrfnxl principle, is a ship c vithout a helm, a rushing rail train wilhoufc r wakes or reversing rod to control the speed. >nt the Bible in the fa nily. There it lies on the c able, an unlimited power. Polygamy and s >ns?ripturnl divorceare prohibited. Parents i-c kind and faithful, '-hildrea polite and I jbedienV Domestic sorrows lessened by bo- ^ ng divided, joys increased bv beinz multiplied. Oh father, oh mother, take down that i ong-nezlected Bible and read it yourselves ? ind let your children read it! Put the Bible * >n the rail-train and on sliiobmrd, till all f >arts of this lan 1 and all oth?r lands shall r rnve i'-s illumination. This hour the -e rises he veil of heathen worship, and in the face >f this day's sun smokes the b'.oM of human c <acrifice. Give them the Bible. Unbind that vife from the funeral prye. for no other sac- ( ifice is needed since the blood of Jesus v Christ cleausetb from all sin. a 1 am preaching this rermon because thsre ire many who would have you believe that he Bible is an outlandish book and obsolete. \ t is fre-sher and more intensj than nuy book hat yesterday came out of the ereat publish- ? ng houses. Make it your guide in lif? and j four pillow in death. * A /?aM ~ 0 T)UU~?A??J - /iiM-i tuc uatkio ui ivm uiuuuu, a uo?u soldier was found with his hand lying on the men Bible. The summer insects h id eaten :be fiesh from the hand, but tha sheleton finrer lay on the words: "Yea, though I walk 7 :hrough the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me; rby rod and Thy staff they comfort me." Yes, this book will become in your last days, ? nrhcn you turn away from all other books, a solace forvour soul. Perhaps it will be your mother's Bible; perhaps the one given you on pour wedding day, its cover now worn out ti ind its leaf faded with nge: but its bright U promises will fla-h upon the opening gates of ti Heaven. k "How precious is the Book divine, w By inspiration /riven; t] Bright as a lamp its doctrines shine, ? To guide our souls to heaven. ti b "This lamp, through all the todicms night Of life, shall guide our way, Till we behold toe clearer light n Of an eternal day.*1 ? FUN. II A girl may have plenty of bustle and f ill be very lazy. 3 The rabbit is timid, but no cook can ! . I uko it quail.?Puck. | n "Ilow's crops?" is now the prevalent irm of salutation in the poultry yard.? rerc/ia tit- Tra teler. si If you can't trust a man for the full nount, let him skip. This trying to ct an average on honesty has always " sen a failure.?Josh Billings. ti mi n.i? . ... - ll i iic iiiuuesi 01 uenmarK is said to be f< smnrkable, but It is really nothing comired with that of the man who never ^ tads the papers.? Call. & That Chicago dog with hydrophobia, hich rushed into a saloon, was in scarch 1 . I ^ i congenial company. Everybody there as afraid of water.?Buffalo Noics * 'Arthur."?Yes, we should liks to " tive you write for our paper. Address <_ jur letter to the business office and it ill be sent to you.?Neu> Haven Neva. o Yale College has established a chair of mrnalism. It is an old battered affair q ith three leg3 and a broomstick, and n lied with exchanges for a cushion.? 'urlington Free Press. "Did you ever try a deal in stocics?" ! | sked one Burlington merchant of \ aother. 1 'Yes," was tnc sad reply, 4'I ? ave tried a deal too much for my good." -Eurlinjtoii Free Press. e "Anybody that knows a thing before c . happens is called a reporter," was the \ efinition written on the slate of an eight- i ear old boy in one of our schools yea- 4 jrday.?Boston Journal. t A dealer auvertises "Lightning Fruit ( ars." They may be a new brand, but i jr lightening fruit jars there is nothing ^ lore successful than a small boy and 1 r>l itud e. ? n IT? r/i1/1 Mrs. Dusenberry?"Now just look at bose flannels! If any think will shrink lore from washing I'd like to know what I is." Mr. Dusenberry?"A boy will, ! ay dear."-1? Philadelphia Call. \ It was a grim joke on the part of a ondemned man, who, the night before lis execution, requested the jailor to lose his grated window because he conidered night air unhealthy.?Siftinga. The S3?" ISF" the girl of the . are j mall, tapering and beautifully shaped; I as beautiful as the * *, and she is vithout her |; her frown is a +, and hei igure excites ! ! ! of surprise, and I . lankering?^ her.?Paper and Press. Tommy (who has just received a severe icolding)?"Am I really so bad, mamma?" tiara ma?"Yes, Tommy, you are a very )ad boy." Tommy (reflectively)?"Well, inyway,mnmma. I think you ought to be eal glad I ain't twins!"?Harper' Weekly. A few months ago a paper was started it Heber, Ark., and named OA, Pshaw! rhe salutatory was: "I'll monkey witt ;his thing awhile.?The Editor." Recently it expired, and here is its dying asp: "Valedictory: The inonkej ceasei ;o perform." The Olive Eaters. The extent to which the olive is used raries greatly in different countries. In lorthern countries it is used chiefly as a elish eaten by itself, or as a sauee, sealoning or stuffing for meats, fowls or ?ame. It is on the table* of the rich vbat the French call a hors d'oeuvre? | hat is, a side dish or table superfluity. ! 3ut it is far otherwise with the poor in ! he south of Europe, to whom it is an I mportant article of diet. In ancient times he poor made an entire meal of bread ind olives. It is still the same in some >arts of Europe, -where a peasant thinks limself prepared for a journey with a )iece of bread under his arm and a handul of olives in his pocket. In Southern taly no meal is made without olives, rhe olive merchants paoS regularly at nipper time through the poorer quarters >f the city. It is the Spanish habit to sat olives at the end of a meal, but not i oo many. Three or lour are usually bought enough, or if they are very good j ?nc may eat a dozen. An Italian author j ecommends the perservibg of Spanish lives?that is, of those grown on Italian oil?but prefers those called Saint ^rancis, which is common at Ascoli, vhere it attains the size of a walnut. It s? however, generally agreed among' jourmets that the smaller olives are best j or eating. Tho manner of treatment has, I ievertheless. perhaps, something to do f i vith the coarse quality of the Spanish live when found in thj peninsula. )lives are preserved in Italy, as elsovhere, in weak lye or brine. They are ,lso bruised, stuffed in the Bordeaux nanner or dried. In eastern countries, whence the olive camc, the fruit forms till an important article of diet.?San Trancisco Chronicle. A heavy growth of hair is produced by the se of Hall's Hair Renewer. Every description of malarial disorder ields to the curative power of Ayer's Ague lure. The fund for Mre. Hancock amounts to 45,000. Twenty-Four Hour* To Live. From John Kuhn. Lafayette, Intl., who announces l?at ho In now In "perfect health," we have the foltwlng: "One ye<ir ago I wan, to all appearances, In He last stages of consumption. Our best physicians ave my caso up. I Anally got so low that our doctor lid I could not live twenty-four hours. My friends Hen purchased a bottle of DR. WM. HALL'S RAL AX FOR THE LUNQ8, which benefitted me. I eonInuert until I took nine bottle*. I am now In perfect ealth. bavins uaed no other mcdlclne." Fifty-one persons have been killed by lighting in the United States and Canada this eason. Mr. G. E. Reunion, Baltimore, Md., Commissioner of Deeds for nil the States, suffered i>r n long time with rheumatism, which ieided promptly to St. Jacobs Oil. Ablie Listz, the celebrated musician, died tBuyreutli, Germany recently. Diphtheria is frequently the result of a negated sore throat, which can bo cured by a ngle bottle of Red Star Cough Cure. Price, rt'enty-five cents a bottle. Engineering in China has certainly achieved notable triumph in the bridge at Lagang. ver an arm of the China Sea. This strueiii e is five miles long built entirely of stone, j as arches 70 feet high, the roadway is 70 j ?t't wide, and ihe pillars are 70 feet apart. If you have cutting, scalding, or stinging jnsations in the parts when voiding urine, Iwamp-Root will quickly relieve and cure. An Ohio merchant savs he cau trace evorv I ad account on bis books "directly to beer." ! Farmers and othei"S who have a little leisre time for the next few months will tind it ! o their interest to write to B. F.Johnson & 'o., of Richmond, whose advertisement ap , ieai-s in another column. They offer great j nducements to persons tc work for them all ir part of their time. The fund for the erection of a monument to Jeneral Grant in Riverside Park only : mounts to a little over $123,000. I " We Apprnl to Experience. 6 For a long time we steadily refused to pub- j p ish testimonials, believing that, in the opinion I pf the public generelly, the great majority : vero manufactured to "order b}* unprincipled , >art:es as a means of disposing of their worth- i ess preparations. T. bt t.iis view of the case is to a certain j xtent trae, there can be no doubt. At last, several years ago, we came to the onclusion that overy intelligent person can 1 eadily discriminate between spurious and 1 iona fide testimonials, and determined to use i is advertisements a few of the many hundreds ] >f unsolicited certificates in our possession. j In doing this, we published them as nearly is possible in the exact language used It}* our i correspondents, only changing the phrase- i >logy, in some cases, so as to compress them j nto a smaller spacc than they would other- i , vise occupy, but without in the least exag- | jerating or destroying the meaning of the I ivriters. Weare glad to say that our final conclusion *as a?w>rrect one,?that a letter recommendng an article having true merit finds favor , viwi tne people. The original of every testimonial published jy us is on file in our office, an inspection of which will prove to the most skeptical that >ur assertion made above, that only the facts ire Riven as they appear therein, is true. | But as it would be very inconvenient, if not in possible, for all our friends to call on us for that purpose, we invite those who doubt (if J there lie such) to corresi>ond with any of the i parties whose names are signed to our testi ' monials, and ask them if we have made any ' misstatements, so far as their knowledge ex- , tends, in this article. In other words, if we ' tiave not published their letters as nearly ver- i batism ns possible. I Very respectfully. E. T. HA^ELTINE, Proprietor Pisa's Cure for Consumption and Piso's Remedy for Catarrh. We append a recent letter, which came to us entirely unsolicited, with permission to : publish it: Dayton, Ohio, Jan. 12, 1SS0. | You may add my testimony as to the ! merits of Piso's Cure for Consumption, t i t&ok a severe cold last February, which settled : on my lungs. They became ulcerated and j w ere so paintnl that I had 110 rest for two : days and nights. I got a bottle of Piso's Cure j for Consumption, and was relieved by the j time I had taken half of it. Since that time 1 have kept Piso's Cure in the house, and use j it as a preventive, both for lung troubles and ' croup, for which I can recommend it as the best medicine I ever used; and that is saying a givat deal, for 1 have used at least twenty others, liesides about as many physicians' prescriptions. Piso's Cure for Consumption has never iailed to give relief in my family. A. J. GRUBB, ??T ?>pringtleld St. The coinage of silver dollars during the last 31MU- was $21), 83$,005. Mensman's Pkptonizkd bkkf tonic, the only preparation of beef containing its entire nutritious properties. It contains bloodmaking force generating and life-sustaining properties; invaluable for indigestion, dyt*pejxsia, nei*v?us prostration, and ell forms of general debility; also, in ail enfeebled condi tions whether the result of exhaustion^ nervous prostration, overwork or acute disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints. Caswell, Hazard & Co., Froprietors, New York, Sold by druggists. The California crop of wheat is estimated at 52.000,000 bushels, leaving a surplus of *12,000.000 bushels for export. "Nothing Like It iVnown." Among the 150 kinds of Cloth Bound Dollar Volumes given away by the Koch ester (N. Y.) American Iiiiral Home for every $1 subscription to that 8-page, 48-col.. 10 yearold Weekly, (all 5x7 inches, from :XK) to !KK) pages, bound in cloth) are: Law "Without Law- Danelson's (Medical) yers. Counselor. Family Cyclopedia. Boys'Useful Pastimes. Farm Cyclopedia. Five Yeai-s Before the Farmers and Stock Mast. breeeders' Guide. People's H story of Common Sense in United States. Poultry Yard. Universal History of World Cyclopedia. all ^saitons. Popular His. of Civil War (both sides). Anv one book and paper one year, postpaid for f 1.15 only! Satisfaction guaranteed. Reference: Hon. C. R. Farsons, Mayor Rochester, forll years past. Sample papt-rt* 'Jc. Rural. Homk Co.. Ltd.. Rochester N. V. Turkey is again arming and proposes to purchase 4u0,00<) American rifles of the latest and most improved pattern. D A T KT M T Obtained. Rend etninp for wr ** ? ^ Inventor's Guide. !>. Lixo ham, 1'a tent Lawyer, Washington, n. C. H N V?31 ,A q a "jonce! What, are you ^ K? talking about?" What 06 ^PWNRB t every body talks about, uJ ? Theysay that for Briffhta' J m Disease,Kidney, Liver or 0 Bladder complaints, this o, remedy has no equal." XVM1 ~nrK^*ift?ft8S?, CC .IWI'HMb dupxnaaRY,Bingham t-on.N.Y. n wPfflV" i/> Letter* of Inquiry unrwrn-A. ? ^m^|tMUuld.t.IIM?h (Sent^X MAHIIjIN' Magazine For large or small gam*?all iIim. Tb? *trong?it ihootlir rl accuracy guaranteed, and tba only abroloUly *af? rlfl* oa U>* BALLARD GALLERY, BPORTING AND TARGET Illa*Uatad Catalog**. MARL.IN FIRE A1 P PPVl* w mm. I ^ _?<% Tk?yi8HIUUin>8UCI LhhhJHMM^^^MH A J&ii fcj*.rs *. '. *?&' fflk \a> OH! MY BACK Kvery strain or cold attacks that weak bark and nearly prostrates you. |Rff|| g| J |pJ | 1^ P jflff' ^ = BEST TONIC ? Strengthens tho Muselcti, Steadied the Norvrs, T'nrlches the Fllood, (>Itc* New Vigor. Mn, JonN Edward Taylok, Fort WanhinKton Md., says: " 1 have Buffered with pains in tho t-niall of iny back for about tivo venrs. Brown's Iron Bitters has done me u (rreat coal of Rood." Mits. Nannik E. IlODEHTS, Milton. N. C.. Hiiys: "I eulfered with severe pain* in my back and iiinbn and co'ild hardly e<> about One bottle of Rrwtn'a Iron Bittern KJ^atly rftliBvetl me and threo bottlce cured mo. 1 gratefully recommend it." Genuino has above Trade Mark and croesei! rr.d linen on wrapper. Take no other. Made only by KKOH'X CHEMICAL CO.. BALTIMOKi:. .MO. "ft _ __ _ _ _ to Soldiers A Heirs. Send stamp f,,r Circulars. C?'I,. ItlNU I wllwiWISw 11A3I Atfy.XtasidilKton,. L?. C. Invalids'HoteliSurgicaUnstituts BUFFALO, 2ST- TTOrgaBlud with Ml Stair mt e??tiM? Izvcrlaaeed and Ikllirol rhyilcltw^ Bd lirtMBi for tbe treatment ( / all CUroalo Disease*. OUR FIELD OF SUCCE88. Chronic Nasal Catarrhi Throat aaA Lun| Dlieatta, Lilver and Kldntf Diseases, Bladder Diseases, Diseases of Women, Blood Diseases and Nerr* doi Affections, cured here or at hom?L trlth or without seeing the patient. Come ana toe us, or send ten oenta in stamps for onr '*Invalids* Guide Book," Which gltd til particulars. MOM, Iferrona Debility, Impoft-.,-.?-. I tency, Nocturnal LoMta, llELiCiTE I and a* forbid Conditions " i catl6e<1 by -youthful FolniSClQC9 9 Hcs and Pernicious Boll* UldLIOCd. | tary Practices aro speedily "and permanently cured by out1 Specialists. Book, post-paid, 10 eta. in suiraps. 1 ltupture, or Breach, radically cured without ttio knife, without trusses, without pain, and without danger. Carta Guaranteed. Book sent for ton cents In stamps. PILE TUnOHS and STRICTURE* treated under guarantee to euro. Hook tent for ton cents in stamps. Address World'* Dispensary Medical Association, 638 Alain Street, Buffalo, N. Y. maMMa The treatment of many II.______ 1 thousands of eases of thoas DISEASES OF I diseases peculiar to Wnurv I wo3vi33Kr 1 ViUmLn. j the Invalids' Hotel and : Surjrical Institute, has afforded large experience In adapting reme dies < for their cure, and t DR. PIERCES Favorite Prescription la the result of this vast experience. ? It Is a powerful Restorative Tonic and Nervine, imparts vigor and strength to the SVStem. xnd rurp*. no if tw mturln f.an corrhea, or "whites.*^ cxceHive flowing, painful menstruation, nn> aatoral suppressions, prolapsus or l?llln| of the uterus, weak back, anteverilon, ratroveraion, benrlnglowu sensations, chronic congea* tion. Inflammation and ulceration of the ivomb, Inflammation, pain and tendcrncM in ovaries, internal heat, and ''female wenlnioi*.1' It promptly relieves and cures Name* and Weakneai of Stomacli, rndlaestlon, Bloating, Nervous Prontratlon, nd Sleeplessness, in cither sex. PRICE $1.00, r?B? laoo!1 Sold by DrnegUta evcrywliorc. Send ten cents In stamps for Dr. I'ittri c'h inriA Tret tie* on Disease* of Women, il!unt.rute<? World's Dispensary Medical Association, 603 Main Street, BUFFALO, IS. IT. rig* SICK-HEADACHE, WMSU' Billons Hcndaoho, L fHk. Dlzzlneia, Conatlpa* r /jCv lion, Ind Igoelion, ScVtf and Bilioua Attacks, rBl/ promptly cured by JDr. Plerco'a Pleaitnj WA Pnrgatlre Pelleta. 5? "? wxi wni* a vial, by T)rur?rM*> S700 toS2500i^S expense, can l>e made working for us. Agents preferred wh-> can furnish their own horses ami give their whole time to the business. Spare moments may be profitably employed also. A few vacancies in towns and cities, B. F. JOHNSON & CO., 101S Main St., Richmond, Vn. | PlmpIelT Blotches, Scaly ?r Ollr Bklia. IBIemlahea and all Skin Dlaeaaea Caiti and Complexion Beaut!fled by Beeson's Aromatic Alan Salpbar Snap. !K>1(1 by Prugglate or vnt by mail on receipt of I 25centa by WM. DRKYDOPPEh, Mnnii- D Otctiirer, 1208 North Front St, 1'talladelpitlA. ra. B BrnmS nFRMAM DicnoaMtis i Llllllnlv 034 PAGKfl |q FOR ONE DOLLAR. Q 1 itot^OMoBuyatttnHittaMl ftrfll p*to* to wtniM the (todr ?f ttt OMaai Cmhim*. Ndn tKM VotCTWltk OS ffua (hr? word* trUfc ?:*c . jM TWj (1? m*Je. market. 'V * j RrfTIS, wcr Id t*oow-dM. B?nd tor I EtMS CO^ New Iltrcn, Conn* - ^^^,1 n ur n TleBestT' I, wm L m9 WntfiniMmf m HA ? II uiv4|iivvi gP IVIn II Coat. KKBle wsrranted weteweof, a?d wfil kttp Mi 4ry ht now POMHKL BUCUR < parfe* rtdtnf cM. tr.4 . BewnrtoflatlUtlona. Hon* rtnvilm without Um "Fi?W lu?tr*tcJ C?t?k>f.n? tret. A. J. Tower, ltoktoa, Vua,