University of South Carolina Libraries
1 ir-rilE JOKERS' BUDGET. I A LITTIjR HtJItfOIlOUS RBADTNO FOR I THE LK1SUUE IIOUUS. A Broken Viuo?A ConrtcoiiH C!?mdnctorTho IIot'n HootM? lie wuh Very Poor? Not m. i'oct?Tlie Old fSlory, Etc., Etc. TIIE OLD 8TOKY. "We all know the story of the Turkish Cadi who held that there was always a woman at the bottom of every trouble. On one occasion there appeared before . him one of his officers, who stated that a certain man hud fallen out of the window and killed himself. "Where is the woman?" asked the Cadi. 'It was a man, your sublime high. Hess," responded tlie otficer. ^Where is the woman?" repeated the Cadi. "It was, a man. your ecstatic nobleness," humbly reiterated the officer. "Where is the woman?" fiercely demanded the Cadi. "I tell you it was a man who killed himself, your effulgent radiance,'* ronrorl tlie nHinop I Then an explanation followed, when I it turned out that the man was leaning I out of his window to look at a woman, I a few doors off, when lie lost his halancc I and fell to the ground. I <(Ahr* cried the Cadi, triumphantly, I knew there was a woman at the botKrUun of it; there always is." H, WHAT BECAME OP TIIE HOOTS. The other day Dr. llurty's small boy ^fcjranted a pair of rubber boots. The ^Bloctor tried to reason him out of it, H>ut the youngster persisted in his de^Hnand. Finally, the doctor told him a ^Hittlc story?one lie had read in the ^Hlewspaper. The boy was all attention, ^Hnd the story proceeded: "A little boy in Pittsburg had been ^Kven a pair of rubber boots by his ^^Hlther. He waded hi the water with J^Biem?water ran over the tops of the ^Hoots?boy took cold?mother put his ^^Ket in hot water?grew worse?doctor ^HUrae?little boy died?undertaker? j^Hnier^." ^ Thl small boy listened attentively to ^ ecixl of the story, and the father was ^^^ngfatulating himself on the impres Iu lie Imd made, when, with a long a?, the youngster asked: 'What did they do with the boots ?" [imianapolis Journal. i . A I'OET. Kdgc Dusenberry tqok tea at the mansion, on Fifth avenue, one u lust week. Conversing with w Sykes, Judge Dusenberry reKed: /am delighted Miss Sykes, with poetry of your friend, Skimmer Ifuui, oi course, you yoursell aon't I poetry." ow do you know I don't write y?" replied Miss Sykes, somewhat *1, for she has written a number of p for publication. know you arc not a poetess be'as a rule, all ladies who write y are very homely." ?u are quite right, Judge Duaenf" replied Miss Sykes, with great ty, "the cares of the household iijic me from cultivating ?he muses, |f I were, ever so much disposed to '"?1'c.c/ui Sif'tings. CONDUCTORS' COURTESY. can't let this girl travel over this on that half-fare ticket," said the jonductor to the widow Flapjack. Vhy not? what is the matter with ptl'c girl?" \bfic is no ctnia. !Sne is more than |grown." iVell, if that don't beat everything lil'll give it up. Here poor little tie has been traveling over this road [child's ticket for the last ten years, ipow all at oncis you say she is no 4. -That's a new way to worry the eling public." l|b paid full fare, and then the di tive girl in the corner pulled herrout, so to speak, like a marine tele)e. A IJASHKUL LOVER. Js-s-say, Brown, \-you are a m-miried man; g-g-give m-me a 1-1-little fctdviee, w-w-will you?" Certainly, old man. What can I do you?" 1 1 1 T"> T? T? K. ui in i-i-iuvc, u-D-urown, wim me weetcst in th-the w-wfid, and I th-th-think she 1-1-loves f I w-w-want to a-ask her to m-m y me, but I'm b-b-bashful, and 1 t q-q-quite know how to go ab-bSit." You had better write her a letter,' sed Brown. II TIIK WORJI TURNED. I father had been lecturing h's young pful upon the evils of staying out tat night and getting up late in the hing. ft ou never will amount to anything,'' rontinued, "unless you turn over o I leaf. Remember that the earlj I catches the worm." Blow about the worm, father," inred the young man, "wasn't he ler foolish to get up so early?" My son," replied the old man, solply, "that worm hadn't been to bed til. He was on his way home." IT WA8 BROKEN. broke this vase?" asked Miss ^^H*sinfeather's father, as he entered the one morning and found his daughgathering up the pieces of a majol;vase. 'George and I broke it between ut night," was the maiden's innocenl ixiniKo it oecween you, ma you 11, noxt time young Crimsonbeak s you better not sit so close." aid he left his daughter to pondei what he meant.? Yonker? Statesman. SOCIAL AMEN1T1K8. tGrandmamma," said a Murray Hill mg lady, indignantly, "Clara Van lyten says that you and grandpapa )t a corner grocery store when you re young." 'She is mistaken." said ormnrlni# . knew she was, the mean, spiteful ^^E'Yes, she is. mistaken," went on the lady, retrospectively; \"we kept a ^^Vocery store, but it wasn't on a cor A CAK LOAD. A Jeffersonville, Madison and Indian* apolis box car, which had some looso grain scattered over the floor, was invadod by a flock of between twentyfive and thirty goats at Columbus, Ind., 8 when some of the boys closcd the door, ! and the car was taken out to Indianapolis "empty," as was supposed. On j arriving at Indianapolis, one of the brakemen in tlifc yard opened the car ^ door, when the goats jumped out one niter another, scattering in every direction. The crew, supposing they had 1 been shipped as freight, engaged in a 1 chase for four hours, capturing fifteen ' of them. They then went to hunt the agent to see the way bill to find out how many goats had heen shipped, ' when they discovered the joke.?Col- 1 u minis Despatch. 80 POOR. "I am poor and unable to obtain work. Will you kindly give me a dollar to buy medicine for my sick wife?" piteously whined a seedy individual to a passing citizen. "All bosh, no doubt?well, here'B the money; don't bother me again," was the ungracious reply, as he tossed him a silver dollar. "Excuse me, sir, but have you noticed the latest quotation?" continued the seedy one, nervously fingering the coin; "allow me to trouble you for the other twenty-one cents."?Binyhampton Jiepublican. STRUCK A BONANZA. Smith?Brown, I am glad to see you looking so well and prosperous. Big change since I saw you three months ago. Have you struck a bonanza? Brown?Yes. You know I am one of the heirs to the Hyde estate in England, worth over three hundred millions of dollars? Smith (excitedly)?Certainly. You don't mean to tell me that the thing is settled? Brown?Yes, so far as I am concerned. I've dropped all claims, and am now mwinrr />lnon of ^"1 VIV/CV> nbiVilllUU tu MUD1I1C99, X should say I had struck a bonanza 1 SIMILARITY OF CONDITIONS. She (on board the yaclit Eagle wing) ?How gloriously the fresh breeze fills the sails, Mr. Dc Salt! He?Ya'as, the sails are full. She?And how resplendent the moon is, Mr. De Salt! He?Ya'as, the moon's full. She (getting a little tired)?Ah?do you know where the captain is, Mr. Dc Salt? He?Er?ya'as, below. He's full, too. REMARKABLE TIME. "I'm not a sprint runner," said Charley, "but I made fifty yards once in remarkably quick time. It was just that far from the front door to the gate, and my girl's father held the dog and allowed me ten seconds to clear the distance." "I grasp the situation," replied Gus, "but fifty yards in ten seconds is not fast time." * 4'No, but when I reached the gate I had eight seconds to spare."?New York Hun. only. t1iis, At the Funeral of an oil-country resident, who had been blown up with nitro-glycerine, a woman who was taking a last sad look at the remains said: "I don't see nothin' but a collar button an' a piece of plug tobacco." "Yes, madam," replied the undertaker. reverently, "that is all that was ever found."?llarper''s Bazar. dots and dashes. It's the little things that tell?especially the little brothers and sisters. "Try not the pass," the old man said, but the old man wasn't a New York legislator. "Coo hog to rojr. Jags is not 100." This looks funny, and it is to expert telegraph operators. What tried to go over the wire was: "Come home to Rome. James is not well." An Englishman in Madras has, by a luckv accident, made a nhotop-rnnh nf > ' # I O K a tiger in the act of seizing its prey. It was only a partial success, however, as he didn't have time to tell the beast to 1 "look pleasant." Bank cashiers, as a rule, are opposed to silver dollars. They don't want them in the banks. There is reason in this. A bank officer going suddenly to ( Canada couldn't carry silver dollars enough with him to last a week. A little New York boy, whose con[ duct made his mother say that she feared he did not pray, replied, "Yes, > I do; I do pray every night that God will make you and pa like my ways better." A philanthropist asked the daugh' ter of a rich manufacturer, who employs ' hundreds of men, if she ever did any! thing for her father's hands? "No," ( was the reply, "but I rub mine with glycerine and oatmeal every night." Active and Passive. ? Teacher: "Now, Klaus, if I say the father blessed his six children, is that active [ or passive?" "That is active." "Cor! rect, and what is passive?" "The father was blessed with six children." A Would-be Detective.?"Do you want to be a detective?" "Yes, Herr Inspector." "Havo you had experi- i ence?" "I have once discovered a muri derer, Herr Inspector." "What kind > of a murderer?" "A suicide, faerr In- i spector." Have you ever come across a man who, when he was to pay for his own meal, said: "I ain't very hungry, I'lfl - take something light"; but when sud- i denly finding that some one else is to , ' pay for it, musters up an appetite which ; would'do credit to a roan who Usted fir upun nipper. A Pennsylvania schoolmnrm gives the following sentence from the pen of her younger and brightest scholar, [ given in ansncr to the request: "Write L in twenty words a definition of 'Man'." i It read thus: "Man is an animal that i stands up; he is not very big. and he has to work for a living." Shk Never Studied It.?"This natural gas is a wonderful thing," remarked I Mrs. Fangle, as she sat before the fire at Mrs. Snagg's. "Yes, indeed, it is," ? replied Mrs. Snaggs. "I wonder how i they get' it, and why we never had it before?" "Indeed I don't know a thing about it. I never studied gastronomy." /y/' ' > Vn ?r?*i. /.<; P/ > v' *; Only an Eyelash. A well-known financier says that at the ;losc of business hours once he was porng and perspiring over a long column >f figures on the balance sheet. The um total of the column should have ead six thousand and ninety dollars, ustead of that amonnt, however, it ihowed a total of six thousand, nine lundred and ninety dollars, or nine hunIred dollais more than he could account 'or. The vexatious mistake caused the jolonel to scratch his head vigorously md wonder where the excess whs in the igonizing column of figures. While going jver the column carefully for the twentieth time he discovered the error, and it was one that would hardly occur once in x thousand years. One of the colonel's Eyelashes had fallen on the balance sheet ind adhered to the first cipher in the line of figures one thousand dollars. A Fish Story. I One of the eaaiest told in which the | peculiar Christian name figures is of an i accident that happened when Preserved I Fish, just twenty-one years old, had been made captain of a New Bedsord whaling vessel. A revenue cutter bore down upon him and demanded the name of the brig. "The Flyiug Fish," shouted back the young commander, "What's the cvrgo?", was the next question. "Pickled fish," was answered. "And who is captain?" "Preserved Fish I" That government officer couldn't stand this. He did not propose to be fooled with and made fun of by anybody in this way. and on board he climbod with his lieutenanti, only to find that lhe whole truth and nothing but the truth had been told him. A Silly Fellow. There is a small class of young men who imitate English manners, twirl peculiar canes, give to the varying Btyles of neckties whatever of attention they are capable of bestowing on anything, discard overcoats 1n cold weather, and walk with their shoulders shrugged into familiarity with their ears. Their existence raises a question in etymology. They tire called duden, but until the appearance of the class the name was unknown. The EngHsh language has enjoyed, however, for an indefinite period of time the presence of the word doodle. This word stands for a silly fellow. Our suggestion is that the class of young men referred to 8hoflld be called dooih or doodles. We snail then nave a word which describes a class and a class which answers to the word. Chimneys. In the year 1200, chimneys were scarcely known in England. One only was allowed in a religious house, one inamanoi house, and one in the great hall of a castlo or lord's house; but in other houses the smoke found its way out as it could. The writers of the fourteenth century seem to have considered them as the newest invention of luxury. In Henry VIIL'fi reign, the University of Oxford had no fire allowed; for it is mentioned that, after the students had supped, having no fire in winter, they were obliged to take a good run for half an hour to get heat in their feet before they retired for the night. Holinshed, in the reign of Elizabeth, describes the rudeness of the proceeding generation in the arts of life. "There were," says he, "very few chimneys; even in the capital towns the fire was laid to the wall, and the smoke issued out at the door, roof, or window. The houses were wattled and plastered ovei with clay, and all the furniture and utensils were of wood." In 1039 a tax of two shillings were laid on chimneys. Autograph Hunters. A wealthy city man who has been greatly annoyed by the pertinacity of autograph collectors, had .had a circulai printed which is mailed to all applicants. This is a copy:?"My dear . Your letter asking for my autograph plunges me into an unenviable embarrassment. I will confess to you confidentially that my education has been neglected in youth, and that I do not write an excellent copper-plate engraving hand, snch as would ornament your collection. I therefore sign this by giving you an impression from my rubber stamp, which will show you what can be done in the tifoiT r\-f r?A/%rl nrinfin/* T ?1-3 WC?J UA gv/uu niinu^ uuu WUUt X WOU1U be able to do if I had been a good boy at school." For thirty years Dr. C. Fawcett has been physician of the Union Protestant Infirmary, Baltimore, Md., and his published opinion is that he has used Red Star Cough Cure most effectively in curing ob siiuhmj cougns ana in treating consumption. Price, 25 cents. The people who believe in the mind cure seem to be Badly in need of a mind cure. Hon. James Harlan, ex-Vice-Chancellor, Louisville, Ky., says he uses 8t. Jacobs Oil, that it is a most extraordinary and absolute cure for rheumatism and kindred ailments, and that every family Bhould have it. One arm around a pretty girl's waist is said to be worth two arms around a frosted lamp-post. Evbby Moment or our Lives our bodies are being built up anew with fresh matter. If the blood is not renewed the system is poisoned by the worn-out matter clogging the vital organs, instead of leaving the body. For weak or impure blood, producing dyspepsia, biliousness, fevers, and skin, liver and kidney troubles, use Dr. Walker's California Vinegar, Bitters. Appropriate sign for church in need oi musicians: Wanted?singers; in choir within. How to Curs a Cou>.?1*11 car? any cough you ever heard of, and with one of the simplest remedies you ever ?aw; that remedy ia Allen's Lung Balsam. It contains no opium, and is perfectly harmless. Mothers can give It to their children for croup with perfect safety. Price, 26c., 60c. and $1 per bottle, at Druggists. There are 25 counties in Kansas that hare Os?> trc townships in them. :4$- '? V . V| " ? ? ^ ' . I J .. .. We cannot renew youth, but wo can prevent ' gray hair by using Hall's Hair Reuewer. Ayer's Pilla are a nover-faillnK remedy f?t headaches, caused by a disordered stumacU. A Shrewd Bridegroom. A -Montreal liackman took a couple to church to be married, and then slipped olT to earn an extra fare, but was met on his return by a demand from the bridegroom for the money he had earned while away. A policeman being Jit hand the dumbfounded coachman handed over the cash rather than get into a lawsuit, and drove the newly wedded couple home. And yet we talk of Yankee shrewdness! Mother'* 9mlles are the Hnnllght of Home. There would be icwer clouds and brighter minshine in many households if every d;BpirIted, suffering woman realized wliut a boon Dr. Pierce's "Favorite Prescription" is for all weaknesses and maladies to which her sex is liable. No lady who pives this wonderful remedy & trial will be disappointed by the result. It not only acts promptly upon all functional derangement**, but by its rare nervine a d ionic properties strengthens and repair^ the whole feminine system. Price reduced to one dollar. By druggists. A Tioga hunter spent all night up a tree in dpfprt'TH'ft tl?M nrnvimltv nf n hno r. Fldlldn, MThe Land of Flowerii" Is a paradise for tho invalid, and tho "Fountain of Youth" was onco thought to be hid in one of its forest glades. It is now the haven of many consumptives, who find benefit in her genial warmth and fragrant flowers. The consumptive invalid need not necessarily go bo fax from homo and friends to get relief. For if not in the last stages of the disease. Dr. R. V. Pierce's "Golden Medical Discovery" will restore to perfect health. For all chronic throat, bronchial and lung diseases it is a most relia ble 6pucit)c. By druggists. The sea has swallowed up a Faroe Island. The sea will play poker next. It outrivals all?Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. May a vessel upon which a court-martial is in session be defined as a courtship? A Squalling Baby. "Why Is a newly-born baby like a gale of wind? Socj.ubi it begins with a squall. Cold gales inluce coughs and croup? Taylor's Cherokee Remedy of Sweet Gum and Mullein will cure it. Petroleum V. N'nibr. D. R. Locke, Petroleoin V. Nasby, editor Toledo "Blade," writes: "1 liad on n forefinger of my right hand one of those pleasant pets, a 'run-round.' Tho linger becamo inflamed te a degree unbearable and swollen to nearly twice its natural size. A friend gave me Henry's Carbolic Sai.vk, and In twenty minutes the pain had so much sul>sidcd as to give me a fair night's rest, which I had not had before for a week. The inflammation left the finger | in a day. I consider it a most valuable article." MENPVAN'8 PEITON17.KD UKKK TONIC. thOOTlly preparation of beef containing its entire nutritious properties. It contains blond-making force.cenerating anil life-sustaining properties; invaluable for .iidigeMion, dyspepsia, nervous prostration, and all forms of general debility: also, in all enfeebled conditions, whether the result of exhaustion, nervous prostration, overwork or acute disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints. Caswell,Hazard <fc Do., Proprietors. New York. Sold by druggists. Why continue the use of Irritating powder nnuttu or liquids. Ely's Cream Balm, pleasant or' application and a sure euro for Catarrh,and cold tn the head, can b.; h:id for 50 cents, at druggists It Is ea^ilv applied With the linger. sa{eand pleasant and is curing the most ol>stinp.t?* cases. It gives relief at once. We will mail it at 00 cent*. Ely Bros., Owefeo, N. Y. I had a severe attack of catarrh over a ye?r ago, and became so deaf 1 could not hear common conversation. L suffered terribly from a roaring In my head. I procured a bottle of Ely's Cream Baim, and in three weeks could hear ius well as I ever could, and now I can cheerfully say to all who are afflicted with 'he woist of diseases, catarrh and dearness. takono bottle of Ely's Cream Balm and be cured. It is worth ?1,000 per bottlo to any man,woman or child suffering from catarrh.?A. E. Now m?n |S 1?11 <"> - - vjixtMj AitiK, v. Utll aUIUU* "Better late than never," but better never late when-troubled with a cough or cold. Take Dr. Bigelow's Positive Cure at once, which euros all throat and lung troubles speedily ' and thoroughly. Pleasant for children, 60 cents and $1. To err Is human, but you mnke no mistake if you use Dr. Jones' Red Clover Tonic for dyspepsia, costiveness, bad breath, piles, pimples, axue and malaria, poor appetite, low spirits, or diseases of the kidneys,stomach and liver. 50c ta. Frazer Axle (Jrenac. Don't work your horse to death with poor axle grease; the * razer is the only reliable make. Use it once, and you will have no other. The best. Ankle Root and Collar Pads are made of zinc and leather. If afflicted with sore eyes use Dr. Isaac Thompson's Eye Water Druggists sell it 25c. Bronchitis is cured by freqvent small doses of Piso's Cure for Consumption. Stamnincr irroimrt.?Thn ru^af HedStar TRADE VW MARK. coughcure FVm from Opiates, JVmetlea and, Foiton. ISrI: OKcts. prompt. AT Dhuooutb ju?D DULEU. THE CHARLES A. TOOK UK CO., BALTIMORE. MP. ft Tirnnf An 3i uil hh I1EKMAN REMEDY ^ . 0% _ Curat Rheumattan, Neuralgia, For Pa n WB Mill AT DRUOGI9T8 AND DKALKU& THE CUAU.U A.TOOUU CO?BALTIUORB, MB. FOR COUGHS, CROUP AND CONSUMPTION USE V A VI fill's^ I ^mi OF SWEET era MD MLLEM. by all dnuoriftta at 26 oonti and' *f.fe Mr botUik WALTER A. TAYLOR, AtlHte, U>. FINE Bloodod cBfj* Bb-Pu Hogm. III W- >r'*> 4:r i v v >, ?*7 1 - > V. * . *. ' ' V All 1 ^55?^ ? 1 in ifpic |=g?=| 1=1 Irl |jl ?~ ? inb o 1 BEST TONIC. ? This medicine, combining Iron with pure vegetable tonics, quickly and completely , CuTfi DjapepiU, Indlmtlon, weak- I nrai, Impure Blood, Hklaria, Chills | and Feveri, and Neuralgia. I It in an unfailing remedy for Diseases of the Kidney and Liver. It is invaluable for Diseases peculiar to i Women, and all who lead Bcdent&ry lives. It does not iniure the teeth, cause headache, or I produce constipation?other Iron medicines do. It enriches and purities the blood, I stimulates the appetite, aids the assimilation 1 of food, relieves lleartburn and Belching, and < strengthens the muscles and nerves. ; For Intermittent Feveri, Lassitude, Lack ot Energy, etc., it has no equal. ttT The genuine has above trade mark and , crossed realities on wrapper. Take no other. j wU oalr br BtlOWI CUBIICAL CO? BALTIMORE- HDL S Best Const h Syrun. Tastes Rood. Use f?f PrJ In time. Hold bv druggists. Kq "Piso'g Cure for Consumption aaved my life."? L. L. Whiplk, Druggist, Kintuer. Mich. "fed CORES WHERE ALL ELSE FAILS. I?" Eg Best Cough 8yrup. Tastes good. Use B8 |U in.time. Hold by druggists. H f*-'-1 'T'f'liftll'MMWQl "Will bay no other Cough Medicine &s long as we can goiPlso's Cure."?C. B. Laoimeb, Kirkwood, 111. Ifl?- CM E S WMER EA 11 t K3 Best Cough Syrup. Tastes good. Use B9 Eh tn time. Hold by druggists. HI "Pin's Curo cured me of Consumption."?Wm. E. Robebtson, Brandy wino, Md. fe|i| CORES WHERE ALL ELSE FAILS. H] H Best Cough Syrup. Tastes good. Use Crl In time. Sold by druggtots. KHDSTSEim!V33VSmRii y^n ?? >a??y "Piso's Cure for Consumption is the best medicine we evor mod."?o. L. Boficb. Abilkne, Kans. El Bent Cough Syrup. Tost en good. Use PI JJrf In time. Sold by dnigglito. 1*1 "Piso'? Cure for Consumption isdoina wonders foi ille."?II. H Stanselj* Newark, N. Y. IB Beet Cough Syrup. Tastes (rood. Use W EH in time. Hold by druggistw. IM CONTAGIOUS! 1 am a native of England, and while I was In that country I contracted a terrible blood poison, and To* two years was under treatment an an out-door pa- i llent at Nottingham Hospital. England, but was not | cured. I suffered the most agonizing pains In my i bones, and was covercd with sores all over my body I .nd limbs. Finally I completely lost all hope ir, J 'hat country, and nailed for America, and was treated at Roosevelt In this city, as well as by a 1 rominent physician in New York having no con *? 'ion with the hospitals. 1 1 saw the advertisement of Swift's Specific, and I determined to give It a trial. I took six bottle* and I can say with grout Joy that they have cured r?o utlrely. I am aa sound aitd well as I ever was lu uiy life. L. Fried. Haltord. New York City, Jane 13th, 1S8S. Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free. Tut Swift Specific Co.. Drawer 3, Atlanta, Ga N. Y.. 157 W. 23d St. rtflYfTmr ll,,a vv *??? * * MaMI'AM cared 111* I 11 iff n without pain. Book oi y| lUlli particular* neni Free. mmmmmkD' at.wuuL.uKy, M. D., Atlanta, Oa I bl??V Dill* Great English Gout ui Blair S HIS. Rheumatic Remrty. ! Oval llox. S1.00> roint, 60 eu. , EDEC * S&afts LOVE PIlFE^tbt Union Pnb. Co., bU V k ^ IB HB Newark. N.J. Send ?tamps for post'tf. O A T BMTO Obtained. Send stamp for I t I O Inventors' Guide. L- fciNakam. Patent I^awyer, Washington, D. C. a flCAITf* WANTED For a Good Selling n H P* IS I Household Article. Send 2-ceut HU ? stamp for Sample and Terms. A. oounmo A QO.. gQ2 WiiliamBtreat, N. Y, City. DTO0TA1IQ *? Soldiers A Hein. Bend stamp for rriRAll RhCircolUf. WL. L. B4KGHAM, & JUiVUlUIVU Afc'f. Washington, I>. U. THQRSTOrS ko*h1T00TH POWDER ilwylac TMtk Perfect U< Oiw Healthy. ksssl \ ^ Th?rt8HBBANDBLI( A fft -? __ __ m V \1 tb* hardeat atorm. T! * ?\U D U Rft" corar* tbo entlro ??ddli 11 D |1 t? * Brand" trade-mark. I imustangi Siirvival of the Fittest! A FAMILY MEDICINE THAT HAS HEALEDI I MILLIONS DICING 35 YEARS I HOIUI HD^MS U1IHUT.I A BALM FOB EVERY WOUSD OFH BXAItf AND BEABTI | The Oldest & Best Liniment! , EVER MADE IN AMERICA. SALES LABGEE THAH EVER. I The Mexican Mnstanf Liniment hasl been Known for more than thlrty-flveH years ft" the best of all Liniment*. forH Man an?3 Beast. Its sales to-day areH I larger than ever. It euros when allH others fall, and penetrates skifi.' tendon! and mnsoi* to tha very bone. SoldK ] everywhere. 25 26 IEHTS h?*/4^W^>CEm for / ?o3t n f?r ;ough>^^^sCroup ^hg balsa^ THE BEST AND CHEAPEST COUGH or GROUP I?/IE HtvH IE 1ZD"Y* \S AN EXPECTORANT IT HAS NO EQUAL. It Contains no Opium in Any Form. allen's lun<; balkan id Three siae Jottlos, Price UH Cents, SO Centn and 91 Per Bottle. The 'J5-C?nt Bottle* are put up for the accommodation >f all who desire simply a Cough or Croup Remedy, [hose debiting a reineay for CONSUMPTION or any LUNG DISEASE should eccure tho largo $1 bottles. Price, 258., 50c. and $ I par Bottle. SOLD BY ALL MEDICINE DEALERS. V iNEGAR BiTTERS In t!io groai Blood Purlflorand Life-giving Principle; a Gentle Purgative and Tonic; a perfect Renovator and Invigorator of the system. In Vinegar Bittern there iB vitolity bat no alcoholic or mineral poison. UiwcavcM of the Skin, of whatever name or nature, are literally dug up and carried out of the system in a short time by the uso of the Bitters. Vinegar Bittern allays feverishness. It relieves, and in time cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Gout, and similar painful diseases. Vinegar Bitters cures Constipation and prevents Diarrhoea. C Never before has a medicine been compounded possessing the power of Vineoab BitTEiis to heal the sick. Send for either of our valuable reference books for ladies, for farmers, for merchants, our Medical Treatise on Diseases, or our Catechism on Intemperance and Tobacco, which last should be read by every child and youth in thd land. Any two of the above books mailed free on receipt of four cents for registration fees. * 44. H. McDonald Drag Co., 632 Washington St. N.Y. BNUIO mmm 5 ton |IMJh wagon scales, Iran Ltvtn, BImI Burton, Bra* S'S'ItBIWll T?r? Bom sad Baira Box. IkdhI KIKMHSKfVlVCnil JON ICS h# p?jrt th. fr.lgbl?for KliilalUlUUIlkll Frtro LUt mention (hi* p?p?r ^dr..,.JBHES_0F BI?Q^A?{T0N, UlUgUUUlUlig ?% * Salvo CORES DRUMKEHHES^ Ud Intemperanre, not Instantly,, tout effectually. The onlrsclentlflc antf #B dote for the Alcohol Hnblt and the _7t only remedy that dares to send trial] bottles. Highly endorsed by the medleal profession and prepared by well(V known New York physicians. Send, stamps for circulars and reference*. K Address "SAXVO -REMEDY," No. 3 West Uth 8t-. New York No Rope to Cut Off Horses' Manes, kk Celebrated 'ECLIPM-;' HAI,TEIt M and ItlMDliK i.ombiiied, cannot toe Sllppe<l by any home. Sample /^yiwk Halter to any part of U. S. free, on WitfWl receipt of $1. Sold by all Saddlery. JIKj) Hani wart? niul Harness Dealers. J&wJ Spcclal discount to the Trade. r^S JL^k Send for Price-List. V* J. C. LIRlITIIOimE, J \> Ruche>t.Tt \. Y. w.i CONSUMPTION. I hare m poslUvo rsmedy for tbe abova dlwug; by lfr IN.th?a>uili of cuei of tba wont ltlod and of font atandlnn ha*a boenenrad. In<l??i1..-ostmnBl?roTfkltB Inltaaf&cacr.thatl wl.t ml TWO BOTTLES Kit El, together with a VA l.UABI.ETRE ATISX on thla dlwat* to any luffrrcr. GlTa??T"-??s?-ul Y O. xddr- ?. Dtt. T. A. guic~tm.ui P?.-arlSt.. Kaw Tort. MflDDUINE Chloral and IyIIIIV r VIIN topium Habits US1LY t'DRKU. a DVlCK FRBK. OR. J. C. HOFFMAN, Jefferson, Wisconsin. 6lO Invasfed In a Magic Lantern M will earn you an eaa\j. profitable living. Most Brilliant Oil Light. PRICES REDUCED. 8enil for catalogue. Emanuel I. 8. Hart, 185 Fifth A-ve.. New York. MEM ONLY. EllCn MANHOOD. DEIHI.ITY, NEK IVIftill VOIISNESS. WEAKNESS. HSo quackery. INDISPUTABLE PROOFS. Book by mall, SEA LED, FREE. JK1LIA MEDICAL. CO.. Hl'FFALO, N. Y. DAY UIUCH PIIRCn Having Bulficieu' oontt 11 nnui WUflCUi dence in our ability and the willingness of mankind to pay when tbe cure is mnde. wm cure all chronic diseases and ask no pa* for our professional services until after the cure is effected. Des. ribe your case fully and send stamp for Instructions. Address Dr. I*' I>- BAKEUi Box ?'M Buffalo, N. Y. r t'ucti uuuila, t?ei, *ud all their lm4iperfections. including Facial Dovelop/R*<5bF inent, Superfluous Hair. Mole*. Wart*. VhW Motb, Freckles. Red Nose. Acno, Bi'k J?4 s. Heads, Scars. Fitting & their treatment. Dr. John Woodbury. SI N.Pe?rl St., Albah> /^?ftny.N.Y. Est'b'd 1HT0. Send ltfe. for iKiok. WANTED I^dlt* and Gentlemen to ?LSLLiMb take Ilcht work at their own homes. 81 to 8'i a day easily made. Work sent by mail. No canvassing W? bave good demand tor our work, ana fur. uish steady employment. Address, with tisnp.Csowx ilyu.Co..v?* V'??est..Cln.o. . nrmn NAMK quick for Prof. Moody's tSw IUnitrataA U Book 00 Drcu Makluf, New Dolraau, and Mantis LJeiitUiiI, ?to? Atanla ?1110 a day. Pr?fJIOODt,C1??laaill,(X. ni/rn HT.1-? ? i UIVLUTT TKEBle warranted watv-proof, and will krcp yon dry la he new POMMRL 8UCKSR li a perfect lidlsg coat, and 9. Beware of Imitation*. None genuine without tb? "Hah llnatrated Catalogue free, Jt. J. Tower, Boaton, "? PENN YROYAL PILLS "CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH." The Original and Only Gcnntae. aft and alms Bailable. Beware cf worth I?a ImHatU?. S??feLb.M?!, 5* (tump*) 7 ui tor puiinllll in ItUtr by I lltM "* Piso.'s Remedy for Catarrh to the Hfe Beat, Easiest to Use, and Cheapest. Also food fhr Cold In the Head, Headache, Hay Fever, Ac. CO casta. gg A lift ?*P*^a^K<>Bui^i^M4 > q?i?* mi. TrM pMh* Dr.'WAfe'p a doTr^PiSiSI; gQ. |n?er8a?? ill ^WOtTed itonw. BIIKTS. proau>Uy doYcloped In natural manner. Mealed pnrticuuVt ctf. In ftarnpa. CHEMICAL CO. ^>47 Bfo^^>r, Nfm York. ^ ' ''-ci > ?$ "''it"' S - v* ' < ' S *'AV'*v"^ ^