University of South Carolina Libraries
^ROB^Er* ^Hp\ OL .IV. ggSPS^P BILL SNWRT'S LETTER. Rnss Harrison InterrnpU a ( aurus?Snort |pkiP* Tells President llnrrison He is not ii Popular?How to Make thr South Solidly Rrpubliran?A Ureal R;v S<jJirnir for the War Widp ows. r l'exHa Nirtlnj;s. Washington, Sept. 10. My Dkau Johnny: I a.u very much afraid that the President, Mr. Wuuamaker and Corporal Tanner are not as kindly disposed towards me as they were. Johnny, remember, whenever a friend asks you for his candid opinion, don't you give it to him. When-1 over anyb^iy wants your advice, always find oiit first what particular kind of advice is wanted, otherwise you may regret it afterward. The President, Wanatnaker and Corporal Tanner and myself held a little caucus a few days ago to devise ways and means to keep our...... :.. ^n:.... 1 i..:? ?i.- .i * - foul*";: in uiiiur, ?IIU Ui5lii?? HttKOU IU give my candid opinion, I did so with such frankness that 1 have become very unpopular. It was all owing to my having over-stimulated myself. Truth and soberness do not always go '.ogether, for the drunker I got the more frank and truthful did I become in my remarks. It is always right to tell tho truth, but it is not always prudent. After VVanamaker and Tanner if* paid each other compliments and mutually sucked each other's ears like two calves in a bull pen, so to speak, Harrison called on mo to give my candid opinion of the situation. As I always feel like making a speech when I am "under the influence," I responded with alacrity about as follows: (ic..ii..... ?i.~ TI? [i uuvjn luuoio in viio iinii lauu lie form Vineyard. I regret very much that I fail to perceive any signs that justify the hopes of Brothers Wanamaker and Tanner. What they have said is like a Coney Island giass of beer, more froth than anything else. On what do you rely for the success of the party in 181)2? t40n the personal popularity of the President," replied Wanamaker. "Gentlemen, lot us not imitate the ostrich, which imagines that his tournure is not exposed because ho hides his head in the sand. Our worthy I President's reception at Indianapolis i was colder than a dog's nose in January." a "Then you think the President is unpopular?" said Tanner. y "Gentlemen, 1 am a Harrison man, i but Mr. Harrinon will not say that his reception at his own town, Indianoplis, indicated that he was popular. It reminded one of trying to heat^a stove with snowballs." Harrison snapped his eyes at me, while Tanner spoke up and said that there were other cities where the President was idoli/ed. "Yes," said I, "Cincinnati, for instanco. is aiiother city whera Mr. Harrison's name is surrounded by a j Iheautiful sulphuric halo every time it is mentioned. It was at Ciucir. tiati, which is essentially a German / itv that. IlArriftnti noiinrmf 11 liif#?d th? J 1 - mayor on the enforcement of the Sunday law." , "Oh, d n the Dutch!" roared Tanner. "But not the Dutoli vote, Corporal. If wo don't get the German vote our name is Denis in 1892." "Colonel Sr.ort, are you in favor pf promiscuons drunkenness?" exclaimed Wananiaker. "Not a hit of it, Mr. Wanamaker. It may bo as tho Prohibitionists say: Whiskey Wastes Wealth, Wrecks Wonjanhood, Wallops Wives. Very likely corkscrews have sunk more people than cork jackets will ever save, as these waterspouts, alias temperance lecturers, maintain; but^just now I am coup'* y.noses "Well, wcJgjJJ^j11 tion vote.^*^^^ .\. \ " ^tf'you won't, and if you did^ wouldn't amount t<Kanything. Tile f*v Prohibition vote is like" ;) . owls. It looks as big as iT tfitrr'al but if you pull the feathers off it Isn't as big as a woodpecker. . The f Prohibition vote is very much nke a \ . cypher without a rinf. Besides, have lost the Catholic vote," Tfjj "How so?" asked Harrison, j |j1 By Wnnnamakor working the Y/j XT C. A. too much. At the G. A.1 ill _____ __c 11. reunion at Milwaukee, the other day, brother Shejijmrd hit the Catholics a di?r by saying that they threat oned religious liberty." "Well, that's all so, I've said so; myself forty times," exclaimed Wan- I ny. "Yes, but that is not going to make them voto for Harrison ill 1802, is it?" "Oh, as far as the Catholic vote Is concerned, Maine will attend to that! Ho will manage to hold it." "If he does hold it, who will hold Jim Maine? There is a rumor that Jim is tricky.*' This seemed to depress the President very much. "Thou again," I continued, "wo reliod to some extent on the Republican Irish and the working men, but since Russ Harrison hus boon hobnobbing with the royal family of Kngland it is not safe to say Harrison to a working man." "Colonel Snort, we rolv on tho i principles of our party to save us," said Tanner pompously. "You should remember, Corporal, that our principles rely on us to save them, and we have irone back on them." "According to your vitj^y of the situation thoro is no hope for Republican succoss." "Not the way things are going now. The party is sick and a romody must be applied. The party has had to take a good deal of medicine but no remedy is reached as yet. Them's my sentiments. Remember, gontlomon, you asked for my candid opinion, not my candied opinion." "Well. Colonel Snort, what is your remedy?" asked Harrison. My idea is to make the South sol- ! idly Republican." ' Ilut how?" "Let our party go back on the nigger. The oiggor will novor he allowed to vote tho Republican ticket. In fact in some of the Southern States ho don't want to any more. Chuck tho nigger overboard! Then let tho President give the offices to hifldi tariff In ? n " *" w,,v* v timo we will have white Republican wool Uarons in Western Texas, sugar barons in Louisiana, rice barons in South Carolina and iron barons in Alabama." "It seeins to mo there is something in that idea," said Wnnamaker"There is a second term in it, Mr. President, but that is not all of my plan. The tariff bait will only catch the rich. I've got a scheme to bag the rank and file." "Let us have it." cried Hharrison, eagerly. "I believe it is conceded that wo can do what we please with the surplus, as long as we squander it in pensions. As things stand now a war widow forfeits her pension when she murrios. Have Congress pass a law allowing a war widow to retain her pension provided she masries an ex-Confederate soldier. Most of them think any kind of a widow handsome if she has u regular income. That will not only make us happy and a united people, but give the Republicans the presidency for 30 years to come, particularly if we pass another law to the effect that every Confederate war widow gets a pension as soon as she marries a Republican Grand Army man. I tell you, boys, it's a groat scheme." "Three cheers for Colonel Snort!" exclaimed Tanner. "He shall have his pension and back pay, even if he is an ex-reb." Just at this crisis Russ, Harrison came in crying and sobbing and told his pa that Lige Hal ford said ho meant something personal in Ins uffltDinnnf flmf K!o 1 L?ou'a v?.??wimviiv fiiuv uiOj / uo.i Sly ITIIIIO UUi* lar looked like a whitewash fence nround a lunatic asylum. The President went out with his son, and the conference dispersed. More next time. Your friend, Hi i.i. Snout. Writing to Abr Lincoln. Frank Fraser, a colored ' man who has been for some time an inmate of he Old Folks' Home, called at '/'he News and Courier offico to say that ho hail been turned out of that institution yesterday "unrighteously." .0/flier was?yery much . excited, and f that if he could not have his case stlfc*. ^^e public in The News and Coiirn. ^H^ould have the "whole ttng den. ^ kite to Abruin Linkum 4&**^nt," A colored frien.!1 said that he was^a ? ?..- J /hat Fraser had left the ptacV>tdl*tv^lop 1 because he would not do hta woytr, llnd that pV>bably a ^conciliation would be effected be^?4 a reply was received froth AT J \jl Lincoln at ^fcjs present postomctf. jATtfvw and Courier September *Zfith. "BeTrue ON WAY, S. cV Nirknninrs of Cities. Teachers of geography who wish to vary the work will find an exercise off the beaten track by taking these names of cities, lotting the children locate them, and telling koiiio internsti 11 ?r fuels in pon nnrtion with ohcI). At the same time give the nickname. Children should know those thoroughly. When they come, in their reading, to the "City of Rocks" they will know it means Nashville. The following is a list I have in my scrap hook and use in my classes: Aberdeen, Scotland, Granite City. Alexandria, Egypt, Delta City. Akron, ()., Summit City. Athens, Greece, City of tin* Violet Crown Baltimore, Md., Monumental City. Birmingham, ()., Bran Town. Boston, Mass., Puritan City; Mod ern Athens; Huh of the Universe; City of Notions; Athens of America, The Hub. Brooklyn, N. V., City of Churches. Buffalo, Queen City of the Lakes. Baalhec, Syria, City of the Sun. Cairo, Bgypt, City of Victory. Cineinatti, ()., Queen City; Porkopolis; Queen of tho West; Paris of America. Chicago, Ills,, Garden city. Cleveland, O., Forest City. Cork, Ireland. Drish-een city. Dayton, O., Gem city. Detroit, Mich., city of the Straits. Kdinburgh, Scotland, Maiden Town; Northern Athens; Modern Athens; Athens of tho North. Gibraltar, Key of the Mediterranean. Hannibal, Mo., Bluff city. Havana, Cuba, Pearl of the Antilles. Indianapolis, Indiana, Railroad city. Jerusalem, Palestine, city of Peace; city of the Groat King. Keokuk, la., Gate city. Louisville, Kentucky., Falls city. Limerik, Ire., city of the Violated Treaty. Lowell, Mass., City of Spindles; Manchester of America, London, England, City of Masts, Modern Babylon. Lynchburg, Vu., Hill City. Milan, Italy, little Paris. Nashville, Tenn., C:ty of Iiocks. Now Haven, Conn., City of Elms| New Orleans La., Crescent city. New York, N. Y.. Gotham; Empire City; Metropolitan city. Philadelphia, Pa., Quakor City; city of Brotherly Love; city of Homes. Pittsburg, Pa., Iron city: Smoky city; Birmingham of America. Portland, Me., Forest city. Peterson, N. J. Lyons of Atnorica. Quebec, Canada, Gibraltar of America. Rome, Italy, Eternal City; Nameless City; Queen of Cities; Seven Hilled City; Mistress of the World. Rochester, Now York., Flour City. St. Louis, Mo., Mound city. San Francisco, California, Golden city. Salem, Massachusetts, City of Peace. Salt Lake City, city of the Saints. Springfield, Illinois, Flower city. Streator, Illinois, City of the Woods. Sodom and Gomorrah, cities of the Plain. Toledo, 0., Corn city. Venice, Ttaly, Bride of the Sea. Washington, I). O., City of Magnificent Distances. Winnepeg, Man., Gate City of the Northwest. Xenia, O., Twin city. Zanesville, O., City of Natural Advantages.?C. K. Jmlson in South western Journal of Education. The man who is always watching to find somethingto criticise or condemn in his fellow-men incurs a double loss from the indulgence of this maligtv habit; he loses the power of ""T^aenerous appreciation of wST*W|^fcw|dhe loses the legitimate influef^K^^gk^wjohl as a cen?r*r ft, reformer, when he ia only R4|Hh scold.?Ohartmian IWf r word ai)d Your war, THUKSAY, OC STCBBORN FACTS KIIR THINKING KARMKRS. I I llow Farms Arc ltein* Deserted and th Rcnson Therefor?Protected lndnstries More Attractive and Renin nr rati ve. News and Courier. Only a few weeks ago it was an*. lion need that the commissioner of j agriculture for Vermont had organ 1 ized an immigration agency for the purpose of inducing Scandinavian and other Kuropean farm laborers to settle in that State and reoccupy the many farms that have been abandoned by their former owners. Now it is reported that New Hampshire is in no better condition than Vermont. Mr. Nullum .1, Bachplder, having been appointed by the last Legislature of New lliminaltirn lo <l/*viun ways and moans of rehabilitating the the deserted farms of the State, sent out letters of inquiry to the selectmen of various sections in order to learn the real state of affairs, before going to work to remedy it. The letters he has received thus far, says the Boston Globe, '-may startle the New England farmer, to say nothing of those Republican bamboozlers who arc trying to show the farmer how greatly they arc benefitted by protection/' and certainly the information that is published is a striking commentary on the familiar text of "what the tariff has done for New England." Despite the fact that many of the selectmen are Republicans and "skim over the truth with a mental reservation," it is reported that in the township of Jackson, for instance, over thirty farms have been deserted, while in Rath the acreage of deserted fields is 75,000. The same story is told in substance of fifteen townships, from one to thirty deserted farms being reported in each case. In addition to these townships, fourteen others report over 21000 acres of farms upon which "all the buildings have rotted away," and this, it is said, is only the beginning t'of the list which promises, on the basis of what has already come in, to be a revelation." What is thus related of the conditions in New Hampshire, says the (}lobe, in commenting 011 the statement wo have quoted, is known to be true of the other Northern New England States. The decline of agriculture in that region is "most lamentable," and certain lines of manufacture which were sources of great profit under a low tariff are declining with it. "The founderies and "other establishments for metal "working arc rotting down along "with the barns and dwellings," we "are told; so that the New Englanders have not even the small comfort of knowing that they are gaining in one field the ground they have lost in another. Nor is the depression in the agricultural industry confined to the New England States. A geetleman, who recently went from New York to Western Pennsylvania to buy a farm for a present to a nephew, has written to the New York Evening Post to detail the observations upon the condition of the farmers in that region. What he saw he sums up ill llw.1 i"l.. I hi one ucviniawuu i iiiit "till/ Illllllll* facturor is eating up "the farmer.'' His advertisements in the Pittsburg papers stated that he wanted a good farm in the southern part of Allegheny County, not far from Pittsburg. Pittsburg being a great manufacturing centre, it was expected that the farmers in the adjacent country, having "the home market" Protectionists say so much about, would ask stiff prices for their lands. The fact did not answer to this expectation. Tilt advertisers as overwhelmed with maps, description, etc, from farmers anxious to sell. As many as 128 offers to sell were received, "and they "are still coming in." "Kverybody," says the Post's correspondent, "seemed to be "clamorous to sell, bnt I could not hear of a single sale in many months." When farms that seemed to bo eligible came to be examined, it was found that a large proportion?perhaps a majority?were embarrassed with mortgages-or judgments. Old jawm wamid to sell^Jjecapse their tauMijjjand IHHL. /f Your '' jTOBER $,188 . ? ?- ????-??- i?? Young men wanted to sell because they could do better in town In short, everybody wanted to get rid of his farm, and the demoralization among the agriculturists seemed to be widespread. There has been no failure of crops or temporary disaster lo account for the depression that exists. On the contrary, the country lias been steadily productive and the crops of the | present year have been uncommonly abundant. The price of farms has shrunk steadily in the past ten years however, until they have lost from one-fifth to one-third their value,' and the tendency is still downward. The cause of I his decline, according to the Post's correspondents, is twofold?the competition of the pro ducts of the Western farms, and the tariff tax "so ingenuously collected from the Pennsylvania farmer on every thing he buys that he does not I know that he pays it." New Pngland and Pennsylvania are alike in the particular that they have enjoyed longest and in fullest measure the benefits of our protective tariff. The presence of innumerable protected manufacturing industries in New Kngland, however, has not prevented the decadence and desertion of farms in that section,! and the beginning of a like movement in a region of highly protected manufactures like Western Pennsylvania, and within sight of (he mills of the. Pittsburgh millionaires, is suggeslivc to say the least. The protective policy has been an unmitigated curse to the agricultural interests <tf M.I. wlw.li> nrtimfi'B ..?/l ll.Ai.n .. >4>MV V'Wtlllll J J ? I I VI I I II I i; is solid satisfaction in the knowledge that the ignorant and selfish fanners of the manufacturing States who are so largely responsible for its maintainnncc all these years, are now feeling its effects in full. Tilings A Woman fun Do. This Host on Times in u spirit of fairnoss admits, and oven proclaims, that tlioro are somo desirable tiling a woman can do. 11pru i< n e?mnl? hath: She can come to a conclusion without the slightest troublo of reasoning on it, and no sane man can do that. Six of them can talk at onco and got along fir.st rate, and no two moil can do that. She can safely stick fifty pins in her dross while he is g^th'ig <>'io under his thumb nail. She is cool as a cucumber in a hulfdozeu'tight. drosses and skirts, while a man will sweat and fume and growl in one loose shirt. She can talk as peaches and cream to the woman she hates, whilo two men would ho punching each other's head before they had exchanged ten words. Sho can throw a stone witti a curve ( that would bo a fortune to a baseball , pitchor. ' | Sho can say "no" in such a low voice that it means "yes." Shu can sharpen a lead pencil if ( you give her plenty of time and plen- | ty of poncils. , She enn dance all night in a pair of shoes two sizes too small for her j and in joy every minute of the time. She can appreciate a kiss from her husband seventy-five years after the j marriage ceremony is perform ( t'U. She can go to cluiroh and aftor- ) ward tell you what ovory woman in | tho congregation had on, and in some rare instances can gave you some faint idea of what tho text was. CI II I l> ..I out; can wrik nnir tiie night with a colicky baby in Iter arms without once expressing the desire of murdering the infant. Slit; can do more in a minute than | a man can do in an hour, and do it ( better. She t*an drive a man crazy in j twenty four hours and then bring him to paradise in two seconds by simply tickling him under the chin, and there does not live that mortal son ^ of Adam's misery who can do it. We look back to former times and the struggles that then were, and < wish we had been helpers in the fight; ] but there is honorable warfare now, < and if we see not what must be done i now, or have not the courage to do i it, if we can see, neither should we ' have had vision or courage then. altl 9. IH'KBEr'S IJRKAT Fl NKRIL. Tlif Burial of llir \iriim's of liir Lund slide. Qt KUK.r, September '2*.- The Ship Laborers1 Society, numbering soveii hundred persons, headed the funeral procession to-day <>f the victims of the recent land slide. Following thoso wore hearses containing eighteen bodies. Then came a vast concourse of most distinguished citizens, umong whom were several inombers of the Provincial Parliament. At St. Patrick's Church, where the funeral services were nold, the Collins were placed in a row at the foot of the channel. Father llayden, director of the Uodemptiomst ()rder, assisted by Father Welch as deacon and Father Maouiro as subdoacon, celebrated Mn&s. The Church was draped in mourning* and illuminated magnificently. Major Lan^eir, Major Wilson and several prominent gentlemen oecupiod seats of honor in the chancel. After the service the procession proceeded to Wood lie Id Cemetery. As the cortege passed in front of St. Rrid?ro's Asylum tho orphans turned out in fuU force, lining both sides of the roads and knell down with inclined heads before tho long lino of the sad train. Twonty-ono bodies were deposited in the vaults prior to the final burial, as many of thorn will bo interred in family lots when the remainder of tho bodies arc - extricated from the ruins. Sir Hector Jaugovin, minister of public works accompanied by (Ion. Cameron and Major Mayno, of the tho Royal School of Kngineors of Kingston, (hit, visited the scone of the disaster this afternoon, and were visibly impressed with what tliey saw there. They found tho adjacent rocks suspended at the cliffs side 11? .. ? naming rather dangerous. Those engineers will, in company with the city engineers, hold a survey of the heights and report to the minister of public-works the condition and danger of the same; also they will suggest the best means to prevent further distress. About HOC men are actively working at the debris, and it is expected more corpses will shortly be found. THK S< KMC OK T1IK OUKAT DISAS'I Kit Quebec, tho scene of this terrible disaster, is the only wallod city on the North American < 'ontinent. It stands on tho loft bank of the river rtt, i .uwrenco at its confluence with tlio St. Cnarlos. It is tho capital of tho Province of Quebec, and with tho exception of Montreal, tho most populous city of Canada. A portion of tho city, called the I 'pper Town, lies on a high table land, which terminates in a point called ('ape I )iamond, whoso summit is 333 foot above tho level of tho river, to which the clitT presents an almost precipitous face. Tho crest of Capo 1 )iamond is occupied by tho* citadel and about 40 acres of massive fortifications. These fortifications have given Quebec tho appellation of the "(*ibraltar of America." Tho 1'ppor Town is surrounded by an old wall about two and three-quarters rnilos in extent, pierced by live gates, now lismantled. There are several fine squares and public walks command ing magnificent views. I )ufferin Terrace, is a magnificent promenade 1,400 foot long and 200 feet above tho river. Part of this terrace occupies tho site of tho old Chateau St. Louis, which was dos'royed by fire in 1834. it . t e -1 i * - * i><u:k or uio upper l own are the famous Plains of Abraham, where Wolfe fought ami died in the battle which gave Quebec to the Knglish in 1759. A monument marks the spot where Wolfe fell, another stands to Ins memory and that of Montcalm, the French commander, in the Governor's Garden, overlooking the St. | Lawrence. There are numerous fine diurches, public buildings, hospitals, mnneries, etc., six daily newspapers ind three banks in the Upper Town. Dutside the walls are the two suburbs )f St. Louis and St. John. The Lower Town lies at the foot -)f the cliff, skirting the base of the promontory to a considerable extent Dtt both sides. It is built on ground made partly by excavations from the rock or redeemed from the water, and j contains numerous and convenient; stores and ware houses for the ac-! NO. 12. comodation of trade and navigation, as well as long streets lined with residences occupied chiefly by the labor: _ i '? nig masses. i oinmunication between the Upper and f.owet town is had by a (li^ht of stops, an immense passenger olovutor and a narrow winding street. .s'hip building' and various manufacturing industries are carried on, but the principal buisiuoss of (Quebec is the exporting of lumber. It is the greatest lumber port in the world, and many millions of feet of timber are shipped thence every year. Quebec was first visited by Jacques Cartior, the famous French discoverer, in 1535. It was then a little Indian village called Stadacona* (hamplaiu founded the city and gave it its present name in July, MV (18. Quebec foil into the hands of the Knglish in 1029, and was recovered by the French three years later. An Knglish attempt to capture the place was defeated in 1000, but in 1759 Wolfe made a successful attack, and the city became * 1 x # - w ^ nriusii property. miring uie kqvolutionury war tho American general Montgomery, lost his life in an un< successful attempt to capturo Quebec on tho night of December 31, 1775, Montgomery's remains now lie in St. Paul's Church, in New Yonk. \V A II N I N(iS OK T11 K PAST. The terrible disaster resulting from the fall of great masses of rock and earth from the face of the cliff upon tin? Lower Town has boon caused by a long spell of hot, dry weather which caused tho cliff to crack, followed by rho constant rain of the past five days, which served to soften the earth and free it. from the solid rock at its back. There have been several siinilinr disasters in the past. Nearly on tho same spot, <*? May 17, 1841, eight buildings were destroyed and thirty-two persons killed by a fall of earth, and in 1852 another land-slide about half a mile from the scene of the present disaster caused the death of a number of people. These warnings, however, were disregarded and people continued to build and to take up their habitations immediately below tho overhanging mass of rock that juts out from the front of the promontory, and in the narrow street that hears the name of the founder of Quebec, and that occupies all the space that remains betweon the cliff and river at that point, save the wharves, which ser\e also us the back yards of tho bouses where the groat disaster occurred. The I )oininion Government warned by the representations of the Hon. Thomas McGreevy, member of Par liament for the Division of Quebec, West, expended a large sum of money about tne year 1881 in purchasing and removing several houses on the cliff side of the street, and in building a huge retaining wall several feet thick to prevent disaster from the falling rocks to tlio dwellers across the street. Those portions of rock which protruded in the most dangerous manner were also removed. Tlio experience of last night however proves that the danger was by no means removed. Thr KnIf of Thrff. First Medical Student?Aw?doctor, what is the subject selected for discussion at our next meeting of the Medico Scientifico society? D'ye 1/ ii/m/ /1/tof ^ n..vr.T, uv/HUI . Second Medical Student- Aw? let?me?see, doctor. Aw?yes: "Resolved, That if a hoy falls from a second story window and breaks one leg wouldn't he break two logs if he fell from a fourth story window?"--The Epoch. "The night cometh, wherein no man can work." The grave is a bed to rest in, hut not a shop to trade in There is no setting up under ground for those who have neglected their souls above ground. "Feebly she laugheth in the lum quid moon, while Porphyro upon her face doth look" and wonders what has swelled it so. Whoa he finds it is neuralgia however, he does not lose his head, but having twenty-five cents in his ir.sido pocket invests in a bottle of Salvation 'Oil. The Johnstown sufferer is the latest variety of tramp in Kansas. Ho bears a close resemblance to aW the rest in tho particular that he looks as if he had neuer seen water.? A'annas 3 <'?/ / Star. ,