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H". THE KNIGHT OF T The sun rolled up from an east of red, The world was fresh and fair, When summoned loud from his trucklc-bed Ine Knight of the Go'.den Hair. Thty garbed him atout in bis doublet worn, Tney laced his searlet shoon, And forth he strode in the dimpling morn, And called for his trusty spoon. His trencher he scraped in minutes ten ('Twas a bowl of mush. I wis, But faith and forsooth, the best of men Have flourished on fare like this). Then away, away, for he could not stay; Good-by to the breakfast-board: A thousand ventures, abroad by day, ?... it- i...;..!.*'),. . > ^ were a", cue; ilk, iio ^ ?Edwin L BOB PEEPLES' V :.."\ By ALFRED 3pp PEEBLES, a long, lank l~^9Westerner, was sitting in * liis Dakota heme watching a* cat that was- struggling | Peebles having' chloroformed' hpr to gain a prrajftfi?tt& that be had in view. As the caf*finally opened her eyes she looked at-^Bob inquiringly, as if she W~ f would ask| "What is the matter with Kpa me? I feel queer." The man, too. Hk looked inas&rinei<at tbe.-brute. as if he wouitl say: "WeH, have you any re^Lmarks to make? I am listening." Tlie cat^vas,.ji?t feelipg . well. She was dizzy from 4heefTeet s of the her and there was a Beculiar -fe?Ung> of fulness in her B^^^^hroat. So she looked at Bob Peebles and gave ^jjnt to her emotion in a vocal S9l pointed and more surprised at the reE ^sult of her effort. She had intended to ^^^^fepress her feelings in a long-drawn ^^^^^ ^rwhich would tend both to mainestablished reputation as a and to unsettle and agonize ^ Pr people of the neighborhood. Injl^^iead, the sound,^ie made was a pro l tracted ftnd peculiar*whistle. Her feelH^L lags were hurt, and she sat up to think ^BS^about the matter. Had the execrable deprived her of her gifts as a voI Btet? She looked at Peebles reproachbeseechingly, and then tried j^^HHH^B^again. Despair seized her;a nsniksth? only result. cat was made unhappy by ^^^^^H^flPpising exercise of her vocal orPeebles was not As he lis Bned to the< shrill warble he seemed H^^Hirly abandoned to bliss. He laughed, B^^^rhe threw his arms wildly in the air, he Sot up and walked the room, laughing all the time. right!" he said. "That's all H^B^Kghjtt- You -may not be much of a |9HWtfgster, my beauty, but I guess you'll TX At*AO ffA* VA?'1I nAAQOCO PJIT1 HTTO AlV* C.U4 VV1 (>VU II JUCVVCkJUA *ij *? * v on milt, but I'll live on the fat of the r land, or I'm no prophet." " The cat v.-ildly clawed at her throat ^nd whistled in response, and, in his KH^^appiness, Bob Peebles stooped and ^^^jstrokeu her. It did not take long for the people of H~ " Flresteel to leai^i that Mr. Peebles had a whistling cat. The quadruped her ^^self served as an advertising agent of ^^HBbe^fact. With her.change of voice no corresponding change of |^HB9^H|^flkie nature, and naturally she ^H^^^HH^Lan inclination to join in midand did so. At first she disposition to fall off ^^^Hp^Bsor housetops in her surprise at fl^SYthe sound sh$ emitted when she had W^M intended to make a remark in choicest cat language, but gradually she ap^Hfc^eared to come to the conclusion that |H^^B^rhaps was a bad cold that ailed ^^^^^knd she let it go at that Still, it ^^P^eable that she. yet clawed at atrtxld times in an unsatisfied the morning after the first feline ^^MJroncert in which Peebles' cat joined, Tom Bowker met Bill Collins and said |y "Say, did yon hear that qneer noise minglin' in the strains of the cat orchestra last night?sort of a cross be Bk tween the- croak of a frog and the ^^anawk ; . j^^yieerd"it," Bill responded, "but ^taMadre ftfc ^combination H fe>le a canary an* the a locomotive.'! conversation gives a fair HHMHplHie attitude of the populace tothis nightly phenomenon, but as people learned that Bob Peebles ac^BL tually had a whistling cat surprise merged in quiet and persistent curiosity and a constant stream of sightseers L But, although Mr. Peebles** whistling m cat was a recognised popular success _he himself did not appear to be entireHuflkr satisfied with her efforts. He sat in ^^m^sunshine by his house one day and the rrtaitner nfher fineries. -As he HE" watched, ^tj&gS^uid at last liis ^ thoughts were expressed in a monologue. ?? E "You do well enough for an amateur," he said, addressing the cat "but H^don't believe you'd be,worth a whoop E is a professional. Now, if you could whistle s^jpTe notes?not necessarily a ^^^^une,. but:* enough notes to make a HjKrtMin' variety."' H9Kb Peebles stopped talking. After ^H^Hrmomenf of reflection he arose, went over to the cat and, on his index HE finger, took some measurements of her E throat. "I b'lieye," he said, "that by using -a longer tfee I could get room for 'bout three or four notes." Then h^ took the cat upon bis arm, and withja frown of reflection upon A ' his brow weatinto the house. Three day?, later a wave of excitement overran Firesteel at a report brought in by Sile Stewart. "A mob oX. cats," be said, "started up a concert outsider of iny window last: ft r?> woo vrf o nrvTo nrl k CLLI X" Tw cio pi xu iv aypiuuu them with a stovehook when I noticed some peculiar sounds; aitf there stood that cat of Boh Peebles', an', b'gosh, gents, you kin b'lieve me er not, the blame critter was whistlin' a tune. Yes, sir; 'twas short, but 'twas a tune. I didn't exactly remember the name of the tune, but 'twas one all right." Thereupon all Firesteel adjourned to Bob Peebles' house to satisfy itself and was convinced. At this juncture of affairs Mr. Peebles became unwontedly energetic. First of all he constructed a house-like structure on his wagon. Then, turning artist, he painted on its sides in great, straggling letters: : THE CELEBRATED CAT ; : PHENOMENON. : : IT ACTUALLY WHISTLES. : : The Remarkable and Only : : Feline That Does. : : Admission, 25 Cents. : : ROBERT PEEBLES, Prop. : Then Peebles went on the road as a showman, the whistling cat being the * show. The exhibition was a notable success. Money came fast to the proprietor. and it was a poor afternoon and evening when it did not take in 740 or $50. The doctors made some trouble for him in the towns where be HE GOLDEN HAIR. He vanquished many a wily foe, And hacked him limb from limb? Ah, tiger and lion he laid full low In the depths of the woodshed grim. In all the waste of the yard was naught He did not bravely dare; Dragons and giants and trolls he sought, This Knight of the Golden Hair. At last, when the west with pink was soft, And the sun rode high no more, He captive fell to a spell he oft Had battled in vain before. Assailed bv a host of drowsy charms He yielded to magic deep, And locked secure in his mother's arms Was seized by the wizard Sleep! . Sabin, in Woman's Home Companion. _ WHISTLING CAT. WATERHOUSE. exhibited the cat by urging that lie normit thorn to pvnrnmo her vocal or gans, but he insisted that they might dislocate its "whistling apparatus by their researches, and so managed to hold them off. Thereupon the doctors talked, and so some suspicion was cast on his show. However, the people still paid their money to see the cat, and so Bob was satisfied. t He; was in the very heydey of his prosperity when he returned to Firesteel, where the cat had begun to whistle. He housed the animal in his little dwelling and then sallied forth to meet the inhabitants in his new role of a ( conquering hero. Ke rather overdid , the part, and this it was that led to , his downfall, for, although his old neighbors did not object to his prosper- ( ity. they did object to his throwing it , in their faces. One evening he was" sitting in Orraund's place of business, and, as ( usual, was talking about his reraarka- ) ble cat and its still more remarkable 1 owner. After a while Doc Lee, Tom , Bowker and Bill Collins got up and ( went out, one at a time, but as eight or ten of tlte boys were left he paid no ( attention to that and just kept on brag- . ging. r . It must have been an hour or two 1 before they returned and sat down, < looking rather mysterious, but Bob < did not mind them; he went right along ^ ivith what hp Tvns snvine: 11 "I tell you, gents, when that Yank- ^ ton audience of 3000 people came to ] look at the cat " 1 "Oh, blame the cat!" Tom Bowker said that, and Bob < looked at him reproachfully before he i continued: % I "As I was-saying, when rudely inter- < rupted, gerife, the cat " i "I'm siclt of your dratted cat. It j doesn't amount to a whoop, anyway." i The boys, except Doc Lee and Bill Collins, didn't know what Tom meant 1 by these interruptions, but they were s middling sick of the cat themselves, < and so they welcomed them. Bob t could see on their faces how they felt. 1 and he recognized that the time had i come for him to defend his source of < income, so he said: s "That's the most remarkable cat " 1 "It's notion' of the kind." i "It's the Only cat ever known that whistles instead of yowling; positively the only felj&ie that warbles like a can. ary an' chirps like a silver-throated t nigh tin s "The deuce it is! I've got a plain, or.- $ dinary yaller cat of no special peder- h gree, an' that never was advertised at \ all, that kin whistle all 'round your cat t an' not hal^try." t "You?you?what's that you say?" r "I've" got a cat that I've been tryin* c to give away that kin whistle better e than yours kin." <: "How much money you got that says 1 so?" a "Well, I've got a hundred or two." j Til bet you a thousand that your cat * can't whistle in the same day with * mine."- ? E Bob didn't expect the proposition f would be taken, but that amount just a sized up the pile that Tom had brought with him for the emergency, so he said a "Done," and the money was put up. ^ Peebles would have been very well * satisfied to have had that end the mat1 s ter, but it didn't, for Doc and Bill then f offered to bet five hundred each, s and he, hoping that he had a sure r thing, and knowing that he must main- r tafn the reputation of his cat anyway, * took the-bets. Some of the other boys, e too, got an idea or so, and within ten r minutes Bob had put up $2900, which 0 was pretty near the iotal of his avail- a able capital. Then Tom went out and got his cat, r which looked as if it had lost eight of s its nine lives and was considering the advisability of letting the other go, 1 and the crowd immediately adjourned 1 to Bob Peeble's bouse to decide the 1 matter. ? *? Bob set bis cat in one corner, and I'om placed bis in another, and they drew cuts to see which should stir his feline up first, that being the manner 1; in which Bob had been accustomed to 1; make bis pussy whistle. Well. Tom fc had to take the first try, and when he 1; punched his cat it let out a whistle f that would have stood for successful s competition with a locomotive. ( Bob's face showed that he was sur- v prised and middling anxious, but hfe e put on a bold front and gave his cele- l' brated cat a punch to remember. She 1 let loose a genuine cat-yowl that was a * success in its way, but nobody could J have mistaken it for a whistle. s The look on Bob's face when his cat did that was something saddening to i remember, and the animal herself c looked both surprised and disappointed, t for she had been accustomed to the r adulation of the masses, and she real- 6 ized that her effort had not been t crowned with success. She tried again, t and it seemed almost as if she would J shed tears when she heard the result. c After the faithful creature's second 1 attempt Bob Peebles acted as if he t were almost dazed by grief. He looked * at Tom Bowker's cat and then at his ? rv 1/VAITA^ Of ff?A in fl UW1 ?, liiCU UC ivvacu av tu^ wwvvh m* ? dispirited war, gulped, and said: "Take the money, gents; it's yours. But after you've got it would?would t you have any objections to my?to my looking in your cat's throat?" i "None at all," says Tom Bowker, reaching for the money in the stake- t holder's hand, "but you'll have to allow that it's settled, and " c Just then something curious happened to Bowker's cat It gulped, t gasped, threw itself on its back, and clawed the air madly. At first the I boys thought the creature was going into a fit, but after a little it straight- i ened up and appeared to be all right. i They had to chloroform the animal to let Bob Peebles look into its throat, i but this was soon done, as he hap- a pened to have some of the drug on hand, and after he had taken a long a look he sighed and said: t "It's all right, an' the game's on roe, but I don't see yet how the blame crit- c ter did it." t Outside of the house, later, Tom Bowker and Bill Collins held an ani- c mated conversation. t "I told you," said the latter, "that ( their throats ought to be of the saitS size." "Well, it's all right, ain't it?" the former responded. "He didn't swallow it till after he'd whistled the money into our hands." "He might," Collins replied, but he was feeling too jubilant to argue the case just then, and so the matter was dropped. Bob Peebles never recovered his grip, and his unique position in the world of business was permanently lost. He still hangs about the old town, but he is a broken aiftl disappointed man. His cat died. The recovery of its voice gradually wore 011 his nerves, and it soon passed away, the victim of a popularity that waned.?New York Times. JOURNALISM AS A CAREER. Views of WhiteJaw Eeid, Editor of the New York Tribune. There has never been a time, I think, in the history of colleges in this coun U\V, 6>UiU Ul'lU lit ail Iiuuivroa before the students of the Stanford University, when so many* of their students were looking toward the possibility of a newspaper career. There is a feeling on the one hand that the professions are overcrowded: and on the other, that the newer fields to which applied science and business beckon offer at the outset slower advances and less attractive experiences. The idea of being brought-into contact with, all forms of public life, of seeing great transactions and watching the actors in them, of writing from day to day the history of a marvelous age?all this naturally fascinates the ardent and aspiring mind. It is true, too, that the young man of good qualifications gets quicker returns in newspaper work than elsewhere. If he studies law, three or four years or more must be taken out of his life after his graduation before lie can enter upon his vocation; and then he has the cheerful prospect of starvation for as many more before clients begin to find him out. A similar delay confronts the medical student, and patients often display i like backwardness about coming forward to the j-oung doctor's office. But the college graduate who "once gets a ?hance assignment on a busy day, in a ?ity editor's book, may find himself with as many more as he cares for within a fortnight, and may presently secure a modest salary that with lealth and industry at once puts him beyond want. Then there are fascinations in the sense of influence, in the power to each the public attention or shape Diiblic opinion, even in the facility for coming in contact with important men ind getting somewhat behind the scenes in transactions that interest the whole community. The notion is spreading, too, that a lewspaper is beginning here, as long since in France, to take the old place >f the lawyer's office as a path to en:ry on public servile. The very name >y which (for want of a better) foreign lewspaper writers have taken to lesicrnatincr themselves. "Publicists," >eems to many to hint at a more atxactive pursuit than defending a ogue or prescribing pills and potions. St * < ' * ' Bird Sons: on the Wing. "The songs of all birds gain in beany when they are uttered on the wing." ays Henry Oldys in Llppincotfs Magizine. "They seem to be delivered with core abandon and greater volume. The vater-thrush's first cousin, the oven)ird, furnishes a striking example of his. His ordinary song consists of a epetition of .the same note hammered tut with a constant crescendo. Very 'ffective it is, too, as a part of the general music of the forest, though uekipg ... individual attractiveness on iccbunt of tte ino^otony of its reiteration. But when-the bird rises abdve he treetops and -descends" after ;the ashiou of the indigo bird to an accompaniment of scattered notes, lie takes ar higher rank as a performer. Not ilways, however, does he require the txhilaration and inspiration of an ierial toboggan to cause him to abanlon his plain chant for a more florid er perched on a grapevine nox iwu ong. I have heard him sing the lateet above the ground. And, as if to how that he did not reserve his supeior powers for special occasions, he ningled it with his plain chant, someimes beginning with the chant and nding with the 6ong, and sometimes eversing this order. I love to see the ven-bird on the ground. There is such i ludicrous assumption of dignity on lis part as he strides about the stage, lever for a moment forgetting himself o far as to hop. There is the same ven, measured steadiness about his novements that there is in his chant, t is only when he launches himself nto the effervescing song that he for;ets his staid demeanor." English Synonyms. There are no actual synonyms in our anguage. No two words mean exacty the same, not even words which tave come into the English from other anguages, and which in their original orms mean the same thing. The word ympathy, which we get from the Jreek, and the word compassion, rhich we have from the Latin, are xactly parallel. Both mean, by deivation, "fellow-feeling." In the Engisb, however, a distinction has grown ip. We may feel sympathy with either oy or sorrow, but be feel compasion for pain or grief. ... -1 These gradations ana vanauous m vords are what give the speaker his pportunity. It is because of them hat the habit of using slang or oftenepeated phrases weakens the expresIveness of our words. The right or he wrong use of a word makes a senence elegant or stupid. The schoolgirl says that a girl, a book, a pudling, the play, or the weather is "lovey," and the word stamps her as silly vhen the use of the right adjectives vould'indicate that she had at least lome sense.?The Household. Pointed Paragraphs. Lending a man a dollar is a deed of rust An obnoxious form of light literature s the gas bill. Two heads are undoubtedly better han one in a drum. Wise merchants put their show winlows in the newspapers. Lack of interest in a story is enough o prove .its truthfulness. ,Tr + V?/-vi* ronifr 44- Tvr\nlfl we 11 11VL JLVl tutu taiutj At .. vu.u >e impossible to please some people. j Fully half our earthly troubles is the . esnlt of calling things by another ( lame. When some men get their freedom n this glorious land of the free they tre in the ex-convict class. Some men are born great, seme ichieve greatness, and others manage o grow smaller each day. : If our neighbors had as few faults as urselves, what a pleasant old world his would be to live in. A young man seldom realizes how lear his best girl is until he goes broke rying to make her wishes come true.2hicago News. WHY EPILEPTICS TRAVEL A. Mechanical Performance Entirely Beyond the Control of the Patient* Dr. W. P. Spratling, in explaining the tendency of the epileptic to travel, states his belief that the act is not performed in obedience to a desire of the epileptic, but is a phenomenon show- 1 ing a disturbed condition of the brain, I and is a merely mechanical perform- i a nee, entirely beyond the control of the patient. In certain peculiar phases of epilepsy the patient when first seized will break into a violent run, and sometimes travel two or three miles as fast j as lie can go. and then perhaps fall ex- { liausted at the end. On the other hand, j an epileptic may have the sensory half of the brain effected and a slight disturbance of the motor half. This may cause the patient to travel days and 1 weeks without being fully conscious of what he is about. Finally he will awaken to his full senses with complete loss of knowledge of what has transpired in the meantime, because his sensory apparatus has been glutted. In opposition to many medical authors -who hold that in cases of epi- I lepsy during a convulsive attack con- I sciousness is lost. Dr. Spratling claims that Consciousness may be disturbed, but probably about sixty per cent, do not lose consciousness, completely. Illustrating the matter; he states that the brain is divided into two halves? the motor half and the sensory half. The sensory half includes the mind, the motor half includes the control of the muscular and moving action of the body. The brain receives a stimulation, perhaps, through some part of the sensory apparatus, and this stimulation in turn sets in motion the motor half of the body, or perhaps the motor half is directly irritated in the first instance. In whatever way the irritation is applied,, the motor half is sooner or later involved and set in molion. A person may suffer an epileptic seizure, which abolishes the sensory half of the brain at once, and then immediately involves the motor half of the brain. The involvement may attack first that part of the brain that | controls motion, the use of the legs, arms, etc., and when it does it is apt to set these parts of the body into violent activity. Hence the irresponsible activity of many epileptics. | f WORDS OF WISDOM. Vanity is the quicksand of reason.*- ? George Sand. The only way to have a friend is to be one.?Emerson. , Poetry comes nearer to vital truth . than history.?Plato. The worst of slaves is he whom passion rules.?Brooke. Judge of a jest when you have done laughing.?W. Lloyd. - > Peace rules the day where-reason fi rules the mind.?Collins. Mammon is the largest slave bifider in the .world.?F. SttundSrs. '? K. ' ; Ungratefulness lk the very poison lifJ manhood.?Sir Philip Sidney. I find that nonsense, at times, is singularly refreshing.?Talleyrand. No man who needs a monument ever ought to have one?Hawthorne. The first great gift we can bestow on others sis a good example.?Morell. Hard? workers are usually honest; industr? lifts them above temptation. ?Bovee. ; , We fike to divine others, but do not lifcse to be divined ourselves.? Rochefoucauld. If education be a preparation for life, then, shbuld every child, from the beginning, have daily experience of that fact.?Herbert Spencer. "'w* " I Acetylene For the Octopus. A new light is beiDg shed on that attractive-.aquatic pet, the octopus?we rifer to? acetylene gas, for which the fishermen of Southern Italy have found a new liise. They are employing it as bait to jfcatch that amiable fish.- The first to use this light (according to the report of our Consul-General Jn Southern Italy) secured enormous catches of . octopus and jealously kept their secret. After awhile it leaked out, and now it is the light commonly .used for the pur- f pose. There can be little doubt that the coast will soon be overfished, and the octopus become rare instead. of. plentiful. " J The ofcl method of alluring the fish is briefly described as follows: 4<A.t night an iron cradle with a bright flame of resinous wood is fixed to the bows of the boat. This attracts the fish and leads him to his doom." During the .daytime the fish are tempted from the crevices of the rocks by a piece of red flannel at the end of a bamboo, which they attempt to grasp; and tliey are then speared with a tri- j dent. The new method may recom- j mend itself to the Cornish and Devonian fishermen, for it is said that in the West of England the fisheries are spoiled by the oetupus, which exists by devouring the small fry.?London Daily News. No Use For Doctors. Major James A. Macklin, who is In charge t>f the local United States recruiting station* is not a firm believer in doctors. He has an idea that he knows what he needs better than a physician, so he usually does his own doctoring. A few years ago the major was stationed with his regiment in Arizona and ordered to take a large detachment of men on a 200-mile inarch. The evening before he left on this long march the colonel of the regiment came to him in an apologetic way and remarked, "I'm sorry, Macklin, but I haven't got a doctor to send with J ?? "nh Hrm'f lot that hnther vou. I J U Li, vu, uvu V ?vw ~ v , colonel," remarked the major cheerfully. "I'm really glad you haven't got one to spare. He'd be in the way. Give me an ambulance and that's all I'll ask." The ambulance was ready next morning when the troops left.1 "We'd only been out an hour," said Macklin, in telling the story, "when a ! i young soldier came to me with the complaint that he had some stomach trouble. I chucked him into the ambulance, prescribed a remedy of my own : and told him to stay there the remain-; der of the day. That night he was, well. I had very little sickness on that trip, and what I did have I handled without the need of a doctor."?Indian, apolis Journal. Building New York's Great Cathedral. The Cathedral of St. John the Divine, which is in course of construction on 1 Morningside Jtieignts, i>ew lora i>uy, j is making gradual progress towards i completion. One of the most difficult J problems the contractors have to deal with has been the moving of the immense pillars for the interior of the cathedral up the hill on which the building stands. The pillars are in four sections, weighing from forty to ninety tons each. As it was found that at j least thirty horses would be required | to move them, it was decided to use | steam. With the aid of a steel cable ; and a traction engine a huge truck bearing the columns was hauled to the ! top of the hill. Several days were i required to move each section. ... ] street, in that city, says: "With my nightly rest broken, owing to irregularities of the kidneys, suffering intensely from severe pains in the small of my back and through the kidneys and annoyed by painful passages of-abnormal secretions, life was anything but pleasant for me. No amount of doctoring relieved this condition, and for the reason that nothing seemed to give me even temporary relief I became about discouraged. One day I noticed in the newspapers the case of a man who was ailiicted as I was and was cured by the use of Doau's Kidnap T>il1o Tlic n-Ar;lc r\f ffir filial remedy were so sincere that on the strength ot' his statement I went to the Hugh Murrey Drug Co.'s store and got a box. I found that the mediciue was exactly as powerful a kidney remedy as represented. I experienced quick and lasting relief. Donu's Kidney Pills will prove a blessing to all sufferers from kidney disorders who will give them a fair trial." A Free Trial of this great kidney medicine, which cured Mr. Walls, will be mailed to any part of the United States on application. Address FosterMilburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. For sale by all druggists, price 50 centa per box. Sponge Fishing In Florida. In sponging two men work together in a skiff. One skulls. The other leans over the side, and buries his head in a wooden bucket with a glass bottom. Through this glass he can see every fish, every hit of coral or sea feather, and every sheel or sponge upon the bottom. His glance sweeps indifferently past shark, ray or pompano, past single fish or fish in schools, past big fish seeking a dinner and little fish seeking to escape making oue. It hesitates at every growth upon the bottom, and rests for a moment upon every form of sponge which it encounters. When a sponge Sftcomiiiercial value comes within range of the sponger's vision his free hand reaches behind him for the thirty foot pole with its sponge hook which lies across the gunwales. The motion of the boat is checked by the sculler, v the licok is lowered to the roots of the sponge which is then torn from the bottom. ~ Sponges, after being cured, are put iip.Jn strings four feet eight inches long, and sold in Key West, like ev? ersrthing else there, at auction. In t&e-Jlshing community of the keys the. sponge is a sort of social wampum* Choice specimens are given as tokens of regard, or as expressions of grati* tude for favors* They are available in payment of compliments or debts, and their value cannot always be measured by their monetary equiva? lent?Country Life in America. ? * ; ' A Note in Passing. "Yes," said the bandmaster, "we do have troubles with our musicians sometimes. "Once we were engaged to play at a funeral. Our. notice was v?ry short, so we had no rehearsal. We reached the cemetery without any mishap, but there something happened. We w^re to play a solemn measure while the body was being lowered into, the grave. Only a lew instruments wgre needed. I "was slowly and solemnly swinging my baton, the spectators were silently weeping, when suddenly the trombone gave a loud, long blast, enough tol^wake ihe dead. Some Jof the mourners fainted, the "play^rff stopped in consternation, and I jumped over chairs and racks to where the trombonist^ a dull, heavy German, sat, stolfdly gating at his music. . ... . . "What the devil did you mean by bursting out that way?" I shouted. "He raiajdjils eyes slowly to.mine, " 'Veil, I vas vatching de mobsfc, und just den a horse-fly got on de paper. I t'ought he vas a note, und I blayed him. Dat vas all, ain't it?"? October Lippincctt's. & _______________________ . DIDN'T PLAY FAIR. Said an indignant mother to her young son: "Why did you strike little Elsie, you naughty boy?" Dick, indignant in his turn, exclaimed: "What did she want to cheat for, then?" "How did she cheat?" asked mamma, more mildly. "Why," exclaimed Dick, "we were playing at Adam and Eve, and she had the apple to tempt me with, and she never tempted me, but went and ate it up herself."?Tit-Bits. A Fiausibie Suggestion. They were coming across the Brooklyn bridge, says the New York Evening Sun, and saw a little tug puffing around one of Uncle Sam's war vessels, just outside the navy basin. ? ^ "There's a-man-of-war, my dfear," he said, pointing to the big" ship "And is the little one a tug-of-war?" she asked as she gazed dreamily upon the water. ? ?? i . > Willing to Waive That "Miss Angeline," began the poor but proud young man, "if I were in a position to ask you to be my wife?" "Good gracious, Mr. Throgson!" she exclaimed. "In a position! The idea! Do you think I would want you to get down on your knees?"?Chicago Tribune. FITSpermanently cured. No fits or nervousr-ooc dnv'i lie.-* r?f T)r Klino's Great NerveRestdrer. Serial bottle and treatisefreo Dr.R.H. kune,Ltd., 931 Arch St., Phila.,Pa. A copy of Hawthorne's rarest book, "Fanshawe," was sold in Boston recently for $650. Mrs. \Vin3l0Vs Soothing Syrnp for children I ee thing, soften the gums, reduces inflammation,allays pain,cures wind colic. 25c. a bottle The lion is the only wild animal that is capable of affection. You can do your dyeing in half an hour with Putnam Fadeless Dyes. A sunflower sucks up 145 pounds of water during its growth. Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken of ns a cough euro.?J. W. O'Bbisn, 322 Third Avenue, N., Minneapolis, Minn., Jan. 6,1900. The manufacture of artificial camphor by electrolysis is no\v assured. To cure, or mc Promptly Corrected. Two young fellows at Liverpool, partners in the tea trade, were the best of friends, and their intimacy extended to personal as well as to business matters. One of them, a simple-minded fellow, was a bachelor, and was in the habit of reading to his partner extracts from letters of an ardent and affectionate nature from a lady in the north of England, who signed herself "Susie." , I The married one went to China for twelve months and returned just in time to attend the wedding of his partner. ? . . "I hardly feel like a stranger," ho1 said in his sweetest tones, addressing the bride. "I fact I feel as though I ought to be well acquainted with my partner's wife, since he has often done me the honor to read to me cxj tracts from his dear Susie's letters." TVia fonas r\f fmchan.l and thn JL IIX5 \ja. i.a^ uuwvuuu speaker were studies as the bride! drew herself up and said, emphatically I and distinctly. "I beg your pardon? i my name is Helen." A Practical Application. Little Arthur had recently come to California and was much impressed with the irrigation ditches to be seen in various places. Wishing to escape some of the summer heat, hie paren:s took him on a short trip to the coast. He looked at the ocean for a long time with wondering eyes, and finally exclaimed, "Mamma, how could men make such a great, big, deep, awful, wide ditch?"?October Lippincott's. An Unfortunate Choice. Reuben?Oh, yes; the bunco feller said, "The farmer's life's the life fer n.e." Judson?Aw. the raskil! What did you do? Reuben?Well, I thought if that was the way he felt about it I'd ruther he'd take my money.?.fuck. . THE GREAT DRAWBACK. "Well, the statements they, make against you aren't true," said the i politician's wife. "Why don't you deny : them?" | "I'm afraid it will incite them to ; dig up some other libelous statements : that are true."?Philadelphia Ledger. I I A Peer Cloekmakcr. Lord Grlmthorpc, the designer of "Big Ben," though nearly ninety, still retains his skill as a scientific lioroloi gist. A chimney clock designed by liini is being erected 011 the tower of the parish church at Eeckinghauij near Gainsborough. Stati of Omo, City of Toledo, f . Lucas County. f . Frank J. Cheney raako oath that in i 1 renior partner 01 the firm of F; J. Cheney & Co., doing business in the City of Toledo, County and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay the snm of one hundred dollars for each and every caso of catarrh that cannot do cured uy me use ot halu s C'atabuh Cube.- Pease J. Chenst. Sworn to before me and subscribed in my , , presence, this 6th day of December, t seal. [ A. D., 1836. A. W. Gleasoh, Notary Public. Hall'sCatarrh Cure Is taken internally, an l acts directly on the blood'and mucous sur! faces of the system. Sen.l To: testimonials, iree. .. P. J. Ciikxcy A Co., Toledo, 0. j Sold by all Druggists, 75e. . .. 11all's Family Piils are the best. A Coveted Tost. At a meetiug of the Wrfftdsworth Guardians applications were received from no fewer than '1170 persons for the post of messenger at a salary of ' thirty shillings a week, with three shillings a week extra ^allowance for ? Swttfiqfe. work.?London Tit-Bitg> rpjcg: STUART'S rnC? CINand BUCHU To Alljefrho suffer,or to the friends of those who ?i' fltir with Kidney, Liver, Heart, Bladder' *. oi< Blood?; Disease, a sample bottle of Stuarfs Gin andjBuchu, the great southern Kidney and Liver Mafdicine, will be sent absolutely free of cost. Mention this paper. Address STUART DRUO JfJFG CO.. 28 Wall St., Atlanta. Gft. I DR. THACHER BLOOD SYRU Cares CONSTIPATION I MAKES PU ; If you have never tried it a i you, free of charge, upon re< j THACHER MEDICINE CC 12t>\ : yt ON RAINY DAYS WEAR ? $ tOWEJ?^ Waterproof ? {js OILED % W ^BRK? CLOTHING t ^ or YELLOW. ^ & rr MAKES EVERY DAY COVHT Q Cr Aik your deoUf. tf U J/ /* aur ? * rupptj you. md Av prte? tin of JStlwx JWO. Hail, Ban* Cootr* r' !iW~ Appetite poor?*/ Bowels constipated? Tongue coated? Head ache? It's your liver! Ayer's Pills are liver pills, all VPOPtiihlp Soldfo? J. C. AjrerCo., ! YCgCUlUiC. elr-.y.vosra. Lowell, Zlasa. < -II w. 'in i. , Want your moustache or beard j a beafltiful brown or rich black? Use BUCKINGHAM'S DYE PIfTT CA 0? DRCGGIST8 OR R. P. HALL It CO., SASriCA. 5. H. I J" " IT* . J ./ i A _ Baggings lies Can save you money, WRITE ATLANTA METAL AND BOTTLE CO., Nos. 1 to 29 Grant Street, Atlanta, Ga. CAPUDHMi It acts immediately? ! II Wf fF= you feel its effects in 10 VWlibVnilnntos. You don't INDIGESTION and ACIDITY 3?!ADAC^K300lxSOaib7 j rwr^viag tho cause. 10 cents. Thompson's Eye Water mey refunded by your me CURES RHEUMATISM AND CATARRH. B.B.B. Cares Deep-Seated Cases Especially ?To Prove It B. B. B. Sent Free. These diseases, with aches and pains in bones, joints and back, agonizing pains in shoulder blades, hands, fingers, arms and legs crippled by rheumatism, lumbago, sciatica, or neuralgia; hawking, spitting, nose bleeding, ringing in the ears, sick stomach, deafness, noise in the head, bad teeth, thin hot blood, all run down feeling or catarrh are sure signs of an awful poisoned condiI tion of the blood. $ake Botanic Blood ! Balm (B.B.B.) Soon all aches and pains stop, the poison is destroyed and a real permanent cure is made of the worst rheu| matism or foulest catarrh. Thousands of j cases cured by taking B.B.B. It strengthj ens weak kidneys and improves digestion. | Druggists, $1 per large bottle. Sample free : by writing Blood Balm Co., 54 Balm Bldg., Atlanta, Ga. Describe trouble and I free medical advice sent in sealed letter. European Russia has a less percentage of forest than the United States. . . I ' . Cost of Artificial Ice. Manufacturers of artificial ice aver that It Is cheaper than natural, be* cause it lasts longer. Natural ice, they say, is never perfectly solid; it is bound to have a larger or smaller amount of air bubbles. Artificial ice ; has no bubbles, it is perfectly solid, except for what the iceman calls "the | feather," a fine, fluffy plume in the center of each block; this is not bubi bles, but simply the formation one finds when ice freezes from the bottom, the top and the sides, leaving the center the last portion to congeal. A recent test made between artificial and natural ice was shown in a large market, when two fish boxes of exactly the same capacity, receiving exactly the same treatment, standing in the same temperature, were each filled with sixteen hundred pounds of ice. The artificial ice, so the store man says, lasted eleven weeks; the natural ice had melted at the end of four weeks.?Good Housekeeping. ON THE RIFLE RANGE. First Marksman?I see you're not shooting to-day, though you're looking trig enough for anything. Second Marksman?That's Just it 1 [ was feeling so trig I couldn't feel 1 my trigger.?Baltimore American. I Gray ? i | "My hair was falling 6fit And i I turning gray very fast. But your . I Hair Vigor stopped the falling and I I restored the natural colors ?Mf9. | E. Z. Benomme, Cohoes, N. V. I It's impossible for you. I not to lock old, with the ft color of seventy years in ? your hair I Perhaps you I are seventy, and you like I your gray nair! If not, j. use Ayer's Hair Vigor, i In less than a month your | ? gray hair will have all the f | dark, rich color of youth. 3 S1.M a bottle. All tfreotts. 0 I I If your druggist cannot supply yott, fl fi send us one dollar and we will express 0 ' I vou a bottle. Be sure and give the Pa^ne n i I oi youi nearest express office. Address, fi S J, C. AYER CO., Lowell, Mass. fi Wb Dropsyi f Removes all swelling in 8 to ao / davs; effects a permanent cure in 30 to 60 days. Trial treatment given tree. Kothingcap be fairer Write Dr. H. H.ereen't 80ns. Specialists, Box B Atlanta, 6a. J Give the name of this paper when j writing to advertisers? (At43-'03) 'S LIVER AND ] Phas been used in thousands of I families for fifty-two years ^ | , LiVer or Kidney T rouDies RE BLOOD . ' " ? sample bottle will be mailed to quest. For sate At A11 defers Chattanooga, Tenn. J l Hp {mm ns jfilS 10 CENTS, til Will [J; headaches, rjt Weaa?*.saS6 jj GUARANTEED CUREfb^J^owe^OTbl I blcod, wind on the stomach, bloated bowels, H pains after eating, liver trouble, sallow skin a H regularly you are sick? Constipation ldlla m< fl starts chronic ailments and long rears of suff g C ASCARETS today, for you will never get v 9 right Take our adrice, start with Caacare' R money refunded. The genuine, tablet stamj I booklet free. Address Sterling Remedy Com reliant, so why not try it / >'M 1 *3 ?????? SOFT, SILKY HAIR ?* M % <v \r ^ OOUB8 WHW TOU *79* Carpeater's OX SAHOW FOSAIE (BrWAEl OT nCITATIOSS.) Rub it into the scalp thoroughly onoo ? T** and It will work woadens. Kaepe th? hair frotn telling out and cares dandruff, too. Better AMI any liair oil or tonic. j PRICE, 25 CENTS, At you* druggist's, or by mafl. ^ IAdtoo, CARPENTER & CO., . Louisville, Kjr. JIS Malsby & Co. 4| Sonth Forsjtk St, Atlanta,&o. Port-able and Stationary Engines, Boilers, #1 Saw Mills AND ALL KINDS OF MACHINERY . Complete Hne carried (h Hockftt IMMEDIA TX tfiipmeiiL Bed M acblnery, Lowest Price* and BUI TMMl Write us for catalogue* prices* ^ etc., before buying. B wltlv liege's Universal Log Beame.Rectilln-B . Hear, Simultaneous Set Works end the Hee-H H cock-King Variable Feed Works ere unex-fl V -./ celled for accck act, sncrLicirr. duxabi^B 1 ;,WHtTT AND BASE OFOPEBATION. Write for fullH descriptive circulars. Manufactured by the! " . W. L. DOUGLAS s3.= & *3 SHOES ?? Yon can save from $3 to $5 yeeftr by wearing W. L. Douglaj $3.50 or $3 ahoef. ' They equal those that have been coeU g- ' gk. ing^oU) frorn^ 34.00 ^ Dong las shoes proves wr * am cage une cannoi oeeqvaiivu ai una armm* ,-^-v w^icasia Shoe* by mail, &> rest* extr*. iUtttntM. .'Catalog free. W. L. DOUGLAS, BrocktOft, Macs * .. _ ? #Ripans Tabules art the best dyspepsia medicine ever mad#. . a hundred million# . of them hare been Bold In the United States in a single ? jeer- Every Illness arising from a disordered stomach Is relieved or cured by their use. 80 common Is It that diseases originate from the stomach it may be safely at? < aerted there is no condition of lfi health that will not be benefited or cured by the occasional use of Rlpans Tabules. Physicians know them'and speak highly of them. All druggists sell them. The five-cent package is enough for an ordinary occasion, and the Family Bottle, sixty cents, contain# a household supply for a year. On# generally gives relief within twenty , , minutes. The Great East and We?t Lin# shh; Thirty-five mile* Shortest Routo^Shreveport U Delias. Write for new book on Texas?** !. E. P. TURNER,Gen. Pew. Agt..Delias.Texj^f v/ ^ ^ ervous &uvairt\c. VMIVUVAV j daches ICKLYCUBEDBT f&-~~ vzpyjmebe. AU't 1 ' - ' -V ?' r> . . ? . _ , THE BOWELS ^ . ' nii/rfev foci mouth, headache, Indigestion, pimpiea, nc ind dizziness. When your bowels don't move ~ >re people than all other diseases together. It ering. No matter what ails yon, start-taking - - , ' /ell and stay well until you get your bowels ts today under absolute guarantee to cure or wdCCC. Never sold in bulk. 8emple and :A , pany, Chicago or New York. got ? Price 50c.