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pair of KOD AKBRS "^MADtUNE UEWIS *T4()?( itlnbrMne. r?tlr?a oa Ers. owu"r ot * ,v, ,?? a had the gout. He alao '".nUrned ?W- l,'urU,er' ">? ' "! ImU retired blm 86 ?!?? he reached the retiring ? ti? felt that be b*d *?en . of tb? service to which h. ,.h Wine fence and windmill ^'con.uaUT CPMto* .tth. and disturbing him. and kodak jUh t? and landscape painters Ue.pa.Blng on hi. **?">._ commodore swore and growled .?,hied a* an old sailor has a ? JlKht to do, but the public dU Kf warning. He hung out sign* ?ire of the dog" and Tree WIU be prosecuted, " hut no Kg frightened. He finally made " n by numerous signs that he bear traps and spring guns in of woods back of Ws villa, and Jg? beach, and that anyone run, Afoul of them must take the ?on icea. commodore did not know his (or on the right nor did the one left He didn't want to know He wantod to be alone with wife and his gout and his Ed llver- and pa#* *4i re" f years in seeing the navstl go to the dogs because he bad q kept on. If he had known the ,r on the right he would hare that she was Widow Parker, Kpf a lawyer, and that 4he had a ?rul daughter named Clara. Erf known the one on the left Eld have known that he wm a Street broker and had a son two Eider than the other's daughter. retired commodore might have ? but didn't, that Harry Btqp a of the broker, was home on college vacation. He might Ibo known, but didn't, that the b daughter, Clara, was home n because the art schools ha<J for two months. If anyone had in these things he would H&live hifl gout and the teller, too, uted to know what such puer< dents had to do with the decpy American nftvy. |t could not have been known | commodore was the fact that ke broker's son and the widow's for were what is termed kodak I They stood ready , to Bndp by thing from a mosquito to a led barn. They photographed [lying down and bulls on the ke. They would snapshot the [dandelion and the gnarled cfek. fchot the shimmering waters of Lnd and the shady dell 4n the I They pointed their deadly ta ints at the clam on the shore le squirrel in the -tree. They lends without knowing each fth t the law of attraction, aided Ipmmodoro with the gout and a I liver, were to bring them to |D o'clock of a certain morning, Idaker appeared on the beach lie north and another from the I For some time each was ignpr [the other's presence. The girl la stranded lobster, and photo p htm from three different posit kd Jotted it dowtrin her mem In book, that the photos were to ?tied "The Lobster's Lament." lung man found a starfish with In gone and old age creeping fci, and snapped him as "Never ? Then the two met. The kian removed his cap and bow I the girl started in a haughty | Kodaking is a profession, |>se who follow it are always ? of each other. Both were on ?mel's land, and both were tres I but they did not take that Isideration. Each felt that the ?longed to him,. It was thei? Baking marine views, and each jtermlned to hold that beach I the other. mt k Mr. Bingham was ready for it at a stranded oat when the lached his ear. He paused to I. The girl had a determined I her face. He steped back Is camera in some confusion, fcn sho went ahead and made ?r a shot he called out "Miss!" ?testing voice. ? saw it first," she announced. ? your pardon." 1 did." ?an bath get a picture of It. Be of any assistance to you In ?g " ?Parker turned away and ea ?10 woods ? the commodore's I Itigiit there on, a big elm ? o signs of "Beware of spring ?nd "Look out for bear traps!" i ? saw them not. Had she seen] ? would have made no differs ?jere was a young man ? a |Mng young man, evidently of ?d breeding ? who was ruder ?elf. in the three years she ?wn that beach not *a single ? come ashore before this one, ?panted her to share the glory wnl He was no true gentle st she knew of a dell not "far ?id, she would go there and ? robing and squlrrols, and If I to follow It would be awd Bis life. When he saw that ? offended and going away he ? her and offered to yield the ? she disappeared with ~ * ? and red cheeks. Coulc ?tographed herself P?l?4 th. plctur. _ . ? ? taring VUw of a Mad Yoiing Lady." 'Click! Snap! Sereai*?' Ttie old commodore ted been In I earnest about those beartrajw. though ltftf ^yna ?*>?>"* ?nrlhf ytpia htut ' Intended bo My for juprai effect, lie had get half a doseu trap#. and an ahe bad progressed towrtd the dell Clara bad sprung one of Her escape from tbo cruel jaw? wag marveloua. They utUsed hpr anises Jt>ut gathered Id her skirts of stout cloth, and she presently found that ahe waa aa much of a prisoner aa If aire bad been caught by ? foot. Just that one scrpam and then ahe realized the altuatfon. The irascible commodore might oome charging through the woode at any moment, and at any moment t^a ungentleinan ly, young gentleman might take It into bis head to aba?uiv*? the old boat and follow on her trqJk Jt did not take her two minute* to realise that without a knife to cut away ber akirta abe mu8t remain there a prisoner un til . some one came to releaae ber. 8he could not pick up the trap and walk off with it, owing to Its weight, and ueltber could ahe ait down and reat. ? For the first ten mlnjutea Clara pon dered. For the mext qfce allently wept She could hear that young man wbla tle down on the beach. In the other direction ahe could bear the commo dore curalng hla coachman and man of -all-work. She had left the young man In a buff about a boat, if he came ahe muat apoleghce. She be lieved ahe had read o^/heard that re tired commodores first caught their vlctlma In bear traj>s and then burned them at the stake. There was mo#e silent weeping. A photograph of Clara Parker Just then should have been entitled "A Mermaid Ashore, Or The Shedder of the Scalding Tear." Harry Bingham's kodak enthualaam hfld led him to be a bit discourteous towards a strange young lady. He regretted it at once. She .had no soon er turned her back on him than be kicked the boat into the surf and then theoretically kicked himself along me beach for a quarter of a mile. Then he entered the woods 60 give her a chance to seek the beach and walk fiome. After remaining in hiding for bhlf an hour he took a wander, among the treea, and all of a auddfon he atood before the young lady whom he be lieved waa homeward bound. She was Bheddlng tears and " yet seeking to maintain a certain <Jtgnlty. "I? I beg your paaulam, but Is any thing wrong?" he afcataanered as he came to a halt. She choked and swallowed in ber efforts to look lndlgnasft. "Ah, I see," he ^b^ftnued. "You have been caught fn a trap. Why didn't you call V ? Sbe wanted to reply that nothing on earth could have induced her to ask hla aid after the eplaode of the boat, but he seemed so different now, that she simply shed m,ore t**rs ahd wiped them away. He found a limb on the ground, and with a "permit me" he used it as a lever to%pry the Jaws of the trap open and release her. . "Narrdw escape for you,' 'he quiet ly said. "Whoever set' such a trap here ought to be sent to prison. I? I r* ? ... . ... The' girl stood and Jooked at him, wondering whether to* thank him or walk off without a word, when he continued: > "I'm sorry about that boat and ask your forgiveness*.' "Grant ? granted!" she managed to say as she walked off. One can never tell how such things 1 will turn. out, but as the retired com-'l modore hears their voices singing ^>nd laughing over the hedge dividing the two villas on the right he growls: "Humphl Another pair of young fools getting ready to make them selves miserable for life!" British Tars May Rise. From certain indications' which have been made pftbllc In vartoUB quarters, the surmise is not- hazardous that some steps are contemplated which may tend to open wider the portals that give admission to the quarter deck of hid majesty's ships of war, says the London Chronicle. There exists a general feeling that the time has arrived for an advance in this di rection to be. made. Questions in the houBe of commons have elicited an swers which have shown that the ad miralty, though properly cautious in a matter so vital as the constitution of the corps of British naval officers, are not unfriendly to the Idea. There is some dissatisfaction at the present time on the lower deck, due in part to the existence of, what is regarded as a bar to the promotion of deserving men of character and ability. An Idea has also been propounded that some means should be discovered of admitting to Osborne and Dartmouth boys coming from a class less richly dowered with the world's goods than the majority of thosfe who are now found in those establishments. Up to the present time, however, no plan, or even defi nite proposal, has been made for deal ing with either part of the problem. tiob designed to accurately and prac tically weigh coal taken off or put on a collier, is to be Installed on t)oard the naval collier Neptune at Norfolk for test Th6 device comprises a tube placed as near as possible to. the center of gravity of the water lines of tt*e ship, in which tube !? a float designed la accordance With the lines of the ship. There Is a connection 'by a System of To Measure Coal. A porhydrometer. an English Invent HIS STRATAGEM WAS COSTLY II Wi? Designed to Break Him of Clo?rett? Habit, but Only Loft | , 7 FVT/n " Poorer. >lac Kvouo U described by Mrs. Meyer, our landlady, ait belug a "?tu? dlum" and "|H)or *a a church mouse.'' '?'be first appellation 1h true? bo la a student of engineering; tbe aluille is ratber baffling, but that he la poor 1 (ear Is true also. Mac Keepe la a philosopher. Many men of little 'busi ness, 1 observe. are philosophers. I bo^me acquainted with Mac Keeue when I Invited him io one evening to share the warmth from my Are ? bo having none? and he proved a t reaa ' uro to me during many long winter ; evenings. I offered him a smoke, and was Instantly attracted to the man by his story of the cunning stratagem he employed to break himself of the hublt of smoking to excess. Mac Keene had devised sundry and divers tricks to accomplish his en<}. all without suoco8h; the latest I maneuver against the enemy consist* ed In his buying tbe most expensive cigarettes he could flud, with the idea in mind that {be wanton and profligate extravagance of smoking them up too rapidly would materially reduce his consumption of the weed; then, If the campaign were successful, he would not increase bis expense in the long run, but when the habit was more^un-1 der control be could reduce his ex pense even below the present by re turning to cheaper brands. Such in* geaulty as this was deserving of re ward, but alas! it failed from the start, and left Mac Keene a poorer and & no more (emj>erate man. ? New York Evening Post. j SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO EAT School Girls and Boys Need Lesions in Mastication for Their Stom achs' Sake. ? i Nor Is It enough that school girls and boys should bo taught to cook; they should also learn how to eat. Pew learn this at home. They are | {usually taught- to eat silently, and not ?to take soup off the end of a spoon 'or to put the knife Into the mouth; 'but the more Important art of masti cation Is Ignored. It Is a branch of 'physiology and should bo taught by experts in tae schools. If it were, the next generation of mothers and fathers would know that it is a crime to let tlselr children swal low food, particularly milk and cereals and vegetables, before it has been j ; kept for a while in the mouth to be 'mixed with saliva and made digest ible." ;?/ ?--- ? ? ?; i If it were Indelibly impressed on school children that gluttony is a vice which defeats Its own end, that by eating slowly much more pleasure can be got from one mouthful than by | bolting a whole plateful, that this pleasure can be vastly increased by consciously exhaling through the nose ?while eating, and that those who eat in this way will escape the pangs of indi tion ? if these truths were im pressed on every child mind, two-thirds of the minor ills of mankind would dis appear in two generations, and most of the major maladies also; for the stom? ach is the source of most diseases. As Thomas Walkter wrote nearly a century ago, "Content the stomach and the stomach will content you." The "Fruits" of Ambition. "If you are ambitious, and want to get on in life, don't wait for your op portunity ? make it." So counselled Mr. Kalestick to young Kabbage, whom he had Just appointed to the management of a green-grocery stall. All that day the youth' pondered the advice, and he still remembered it when his eye suddenly caught an item in the sporting columns of his favor-, ito paper: "Clodville Football club requires dates for December." Two minutes later Kabbage was busy with pen, ink and paper, and in ten more minutes he was proudly con ning the following note to the Clod vllle secretary : "Dear Sif? I beg to inform you thafc we have a choice lot of dates in stock. Inclose one as a sample, and will be pleased to supply any quantity at two pence a pound, or four pounds for se venpence ha-penny ! " ? Ideas. Pulse Watch. Among the- ingenious devices of the physician may be mentioned a watch, constructed on the "stop" principle, whereby the number of pulse beats per minute may be Indicated. A push-but ton is pressed at the beginning of the countahd again at the twentieth pulsa tion, when the number of beats per minute is shown on a dial without the necessity of calculation. Still another push on the button brings the counter back to the starting point. In. the ordinary method >of taking the pulse the observer Is obliged to do two things at the same time ? count the beats and keep his eye on his watch. With the ihiIho watch only one opera tion is necessary, the counting of the population up to 20? when the push but ton is pressed. V, I ? jj: :? i nT n He Was on Oath. "Now, Frank, remember you are on oath. Don't testify to what you can't swear to. Did you really see the pris oner bite the other man's ear off?" "Well, your honor, I see de pris oner go up to de odder man an' open hid mouf, and place it kinder 'round his ear, an' when he eome away de od der gemraun didn't hab no ear, $Bnt fn wouldn't want ter swar de prla'ncr net ually done bite dat ear off ! "... J.j ? ,v? ;,v\ 'i ,1 a vlfif' ? r v ? Cause 4 For Alarm J * V | i Mr^ Winchester. wbo hatt boon sit* J < ting la mii attitude of dejected b*> | uildtrmeni in frout of u pile of dllka j< of varlouv colora and descriptions 1 ; auddenly th-vs ami plucks ber friend i < Mr?. Palmer from out of the paualng j j thiong. She druKH bur victim buck j < with her to the allk counter.) j i Mrs Wlncbenter -My dear. I'm no | < glud to see you that 1 could fall on j your nock and weep. You've simply < got to select a gown for me Really, j I've been through so much the last < two woekH that I'm not capable of *?? j lectlng a dish towel, even If that < would serve the present purpose, i which It won't. ?' "It's all on account of Tom, poor, i dear boy! Of course youv'e heard 1 that be Is engaged. You haven't? < Well, the fact has ho thoroughly filled 1 my borlcon that I suppose I have got Into the habit of thinking everybody else la absorbed In It. too. I'm Just heartbroken about it. "Yea, I was going to tell you about the girl that poor Tom's engaged to. I'm so distressed about It. She's per* foctly wonderful and charming, too, I don't doubt, but. my dear, she's the most superior creature that ever wfia born! She knowa everything. (To cleric) Yes that'* very pretty, but I don't think It'a quite what I want. "You kaow it'a to wear at the ra ceptton that my eon's fiancee's mother is going to give to announce the en gagement, and I'm afraid that would look to plain. I wonder how voile would do. I'm fond of voile, but I really don't know what Is suitable for the groom's mother. Nobody ever pays any attention to the masculine side of a wedding, anyway, but I sup pose If I looked dowdy the.re'd be no end of talk. (To clerk) Could you ahow me some of those things quite down at the other end? So nice of you. > * "There's no reason on earth why everybody shouldn't be delighted. Her family is verp prosperous and Torfi is quite able, young as he is, to set up a very creditable establishment. I'm so distressed about It. (To clerk) Hov.' much did you sav that piece was? Oh, dear, I'm sorry. It does seem Just what I want, but really I don't feel that I can pay as much as that. "When you count the making and the trimming and everything, don't you kfiow, it mounts up so frightfully. Yes, it's true that cheap materials are the tiiost expensive in the end. but then when you have only so much money "to spend for a thin*? I don't I kaow what you're going to do. "Why should I, object to the mar riage? My dear, don't for n minute Imagine that I object. How could I? Tom says he's the luckiest and the happiest man that ever waB, and I'm bound to believe him. It does seem so hard, though, to bring up a boy through all kinds of experiences ? measles and mumps, and besides those Tom had a perfectly terrible attack of typhoid three years ago, and I stayed with him day and night, and nobody fad any idea he'd live through It ? and then to have him marry some perfectly strange girl that nobody ever heard of and that speaks half a dozen different languages! (To clerk) Could I look at that piece at the bot tom of the shelf? That sort of pink ish lavender, I'm afraid it's going to be an awful bother to you to get It, but it does attract me so. "Yes, Indeed, I feel almost as sorry for her as I do for myself. Think of the poor creature saddled wltl\ a mother-in-law who doesn't even know her own language particularly well. I can Just feel how that poor cultured child will shiver every time I open my moiittu* ^ * "Yes, isn't that pretty? (To clerk) How much did you say? Well, I be - lieve I could afford that. I have some lace that I could use and that will re duce the cost, "How nice It would be to be the bride's mother. She always seems to wear gray satin and duch.esse lace., It must simplify things so greatly. "Ethel! ? that's her name, Ethel Ilarcourt ? knows how to*, cook! She took domestic science. Of course. I can cook in a way, hut I wouldn't dare to ask anybody who didn't have the digestion of an ostrich to eat the thing* I mako. Ethel asked me the other day what 1 considered the most hygienic way to mako bread! I felt like a criminal when I told her .that I never had made any, but that I would ask Eliza, the cook I have had for the last 20 years, how she did It. Ethel sighed compassionately. "She was ready for college when she was sixteen, and Tom says she simply to fight the whole family, to get them to let her go then, flow am 1 over going to adjust myself to a daughter-in-law tolth such a super abundance of education?, I never wanted an education. I was too busy having a good time. All that I ever learned was thrust upon me. (To clerk) Yes, cut It oft and send it up. please. I've got to decide some time, and I suppose I might as well decide no*. "Ethel seems like a judgment on Tom for having such a frivolous moth er, but I don't know why poor Tom should be punished for it But then be think's he perfectly happy, and that's the main thing." ?: g ^ :.rj? ?w ' /. ; ' * * - SPRING Millinery Exkuit NINETEEN TWELVE We announce our formal showing ot the new Hats for spring and summer \v<;ar. V.rv oxlci?J a special invitation to the latiic* ui v ??i?,ui n auu Kershaw County to visit our parlor The offerings will be character*/*'*' hv neater pieces of American and Euroi t.ai\ i w t. Every hat is* absolutely new ~ and n.Ai.y of the creations exclusive with us. We cordially invite you and your triend* to inspect this, the largest and moft !>< of ferings in made hats and millinery i,Uv?u*? (hat has ever been shown in Camden. The Misses Gok dlti GARDNER & COMPANY Heavy and Fancy Groceries, Fresh Meats and Country Produce HIGHEST MARKET PRICES PAiL FOR HOGS AND CATTLI Near Hermitage Cotton Mills 'Phone 221 -J. ROBERTS MARKET Ha# recently h?rm remodeled and enlarged Co supply the increasing demand for FRESH MEATS We solicit a share of your patronage and guarantee sat isfaction and Prompt Service. TELEPHONE NUMBER 29 6 - L SASH DOORS 7:r; SEE OUR Hard Wood Ceiling AT Yellow Pine Prices '? ' ' * ' :P, SHAND BUILDERS' SUPPLY COMPANY DeKALB STREET BLINDS MOULDINGS WANT a Better OB? 1UUU1 ness colleges COMBlNt<D? 'S2Sp.?.ur t^xs, sng ip.WUiiCXVQ 1 48 Colleges In 18 States. _ ? . bu?l* I n t ci national reputation; Bustnww P * U IrCI lKlllUIJtll I UJ)Ul r. rJookkeepers all ov^ri Horn. Study. Thousands of bank cash iers bod k keepers, and stenographic are bolomg^ood positions as the result of taking Drtuitfhon's Home 8tudy. ' _ CATALOGUE. Per prices on lessons gr write Xno. F. Draoghon, President Nashville, Tenn. Forjfcvcat tin A rrnirnTw , ? Vi? "I ZZEZL' 41 ogue on 0011 rse ^ T COLLEGE, write PRACTICAL BUSINESS COLLEGE o?-ni.?rW?iuls,c,? .. .... N?.KTai.,T.?-.