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SUCH IS LIFE? Oh, Mom! Queer Vocabulary Spoken by Hoboes Punk Means a Boy Tramp or Loaf of Bread. Baltimore, Md. ? Most folks think sailors have rhe strangest vocabulary of their own, but sailors have nothing on tlie American hobo when It come* to quaint and curious lingo, writes Charles A. Scarpello In the Baltimore 8uu. That Is my final opinion after a few hobo trips of my own In which I drifted from port to port. I was born In the City of Chicago, where I completed the seventh grade In grammar echool before I ran away to sea at the age of thirteen. In my nine years of wanderings, beginning as mess boy and now as a quartermas ter, I have sailed the Oreat Lakes and some of the tributaries of the great Mississippi and the well known seven seas. 1 have been on the beach In Havana, Copenhagen and Stockholm. In between trips I have hit the trail through every state In the Union and Canada and Mexico. And the folks who think a tramp is Just a tramp or r hobo ought to try the life for a while and see. Among (he tramps with whom I have traveled in the United States are bindle stiffs, pack stiffs, mission stiffs, Jingle stiffs, gas hounds, mush fakers, jungle buzzards, panhandlers, bowery bums, highway bums, dock rats, beachcombers, rubber tramps and local characters. The Bindle Stiff. The bindle stiff Is a bum found In southern and central California most ly. You can see them any day, rain or shine, either In the jungles or walk Kit Is Busy Again Kit Klein of ItufFalo, N. Y., who was the women's speed skating champion In 1933, 1h active In this winter's con tests. At Newburgh, Y., she won the 220 yard dash In the Middle At lantic meet, her time being 24 Vfc sec onds. Ing along the railroad tracks. He Is either carrying his bed roll or blndle or Is followed b,v a young boy whom he calls his punk and who carries It for him. Most blndle stiffs are too lazy to carry it themselves. The bln dle consists of a piece of canvas, two blankets or quilts, a few pieces of clothing, soup and towel, Shaving and sewing gear and cooking utensils. It is tied up and slung over the shoul der. The pack stiff is somewhat like the blndle stiff and you find him mostly In and around Oregon, Washington, Ida ho, and Montana ; almost anywhere In the Pacific Northwest. He almost al ways carries his own pack. Lumber Jacks carry a pack looking for work, but they are not to be classed as tramps like the pack stiffs. The mission stiff is seen mostly in the big cities where there are lots of missions, soup lines and bread lines and they can live without work. They get up in the mission prayer meetings and tell how religion has saved them, and tell about their wicked, sinful lives before they were saved. The wilder the story the better, because It arouses the sympathy of the worshipers there in. The mission always feeds them and gives them a place to sleep, and old clothes until they find a Job. They never find it. When one mission wears out they tackle another. I even found several who made such convincing speeches that tiny began to believe it themselves and became religious fanatics. All the others detest the mission stiff. When any other kind of a tramp or bum goes to a mission, t i?o mission stiff acts as If he was the whole cheese and yon might t ? > Irnv down to him l&piys<v Tie Is "saved," and tn e?j?fp-r?rr preach to you. Teacher of Bumology. In Los Angeles a few years ago the best place to get picked up by the police was Just outside a oertaln mis sion. The police railroaded you on a vagrancy charge and you either got 30 days In Lincoln Heights Jail or 24 hours to get out of town. This is called getting a floater out of town. The hoboes have a vocabulary all of their own. Punk means a young boy tramp or a loaf of bread. Ityno, dyno and dingbat mean old bums. A Jocker is a teacher of bumology. A buck Is a Catholic priest. A banjo Is a frying pan. A telescope Is a series of tin cans each smaller than the other car ried Inside each other for cooking In the Jungles. A hippins Is a mattress of straw or wadTled paper. A sougan Is a quilt. (Jas Is denatured alcohol di luted In equal parts with water. Peoria may be a city In Illinois to some. To a tramp it is a r'ish of pota toes and onions, first boiled and then fried. A shack Is a railroad brake man. A hole is a railroad sidetrack. Buttonholes Buttonholes made with a fine crochet thread do not tear out so i easily as those made with ordinary | sowing thread, and can be made ' fnster. ? ODD THINGS AND NEW? By Lame Iiode Breath taking The breath CAN BE MELD SIX TO EIGHT MINUTES BY FORCED BREATHING ThU RECORD IS OVER 15 MINUTES'. Eye strain Three- fourths of o<iuu$TV patients suffer FROM HEADACHE*. Mosquito flight - Mosquitoes never ply more THAN Y? MIL* FROM THEIR BREEDING RlACE, ALTHOUGH THEY MAY BE CARRIED EORTMtR BY THE WIND. WNU Rarvlft*. Breaking With the Past By LEONARD A. BARRETT Historians tell us that civilization will go forward Just so far as It has Rone backward. The pendulum of a clock swings In both directions an equal distance from the center. Society can make no progress with out a past out of which that prog ress emerges. The past, remote and Inaccessible as It Is, Is very detlnlte ly related to and responsible for the present. "Out of the yesterdays ninny and groat" come both the mind and material which makes onr future. So far as society Is concerned, the most Important con tribution the past makes to the pres ent Is experience. All else may he for gotten. ir.it that remains, it Is experi ence that urges us to avoid past mis takes and profit by the lessons we have learned. If this were not so progress would he impossible. We be come stagnant when we live more In the past than in the present. Living In tiie past means that we repeat the same mistakes, think In t ho same old grooves and harbor the same selfish Young King Peter Tlila In the latest portrait of King Peter of Jugoslavia, the lad who as cended the throne nfter the assassi nation of his father, King Alexander. mental attitudes toward life's value. A fresh start, or the power to begin over again, whether we start with the new day, week or year, requires a very definite breaking with the past. The song of Pippn In Browning's poern, expresses the true philosophy of prog ress. "Wherefore repine with thee to lend me O day of mine." Breaking with the past demands the elimination of all remorse and the re moval from our vocabulary of that obnoxious little word, "if." The mo ment. we carry Into the future all that Is suggested by the phrase, "It might have been," we Impair vision, diminish vitality and cloud Judgment. The de cision to begin again demands a tre mendous amount of will-power. Theo dore Hoosevelt always took keen de light In speaking nbout "his second wind." Our second wind, or the op portunity of a fresh start, Is within the reach of every person who casts off weights token over from the past and permits courage, hope and per severance to lead him on. (?). Wontorn Newmiftpet Union. Acadian Hayfork Found Kt. John, N. B. ? A 200-year-old Aoa dian hayfork, believed to be the oldest In Canada, has Just been placed on ex hibition f>t t lie New Brunswick museum here. Heavy and awkward, the fork was used by early French settlers. It was found In thf* barn of an old Little Brock (N. B.) farmer. Hot Water Bottle* Hot-water bottles should always be light In weight. Don't make the com mon mistake of Ailing them to burst ing point, thinking they will keep hot longer. A bottle shonld be filled to about one-quarter Its capacity. Press the bottle to allow the steam to es cape before you add the Htop]>er. Paint Basement Floor A good grade of deck paint rhat re sists dampness Is most- satisfactory for concrete basement floors. It comes In medium brown, buff, yellow, stone, medium grtfy, dnrk red and other colors. <^%drJ~/ousef\orS B\j Lydia Le Baron Walker ONE of the petty annoyances thnt every one has who wears shoos that fasten with ties or shoe strlnps. Is their coming untied. That Is unless these persons have learned the way to make the bows secure, and few have found the solution. So let lue tell you today of a method whereby this bother can be prevented. It Is so easy any one, even a child, can do It. M like the llrst twists of the strings about each other, ns ufuinl, which Is loosely termed ty ing the knot. How ever ns a knot Is defiued ns Inter twining ports "so that they will not slip," the use Is scarcely correct. But we will under stand what Is meant whether we signify this crossing of shoe strings (one over and one under the other) ns tying them together or knot ting them. Make a loop of one of the ends close to this tying na usual and proceed to loop the other end about It exactly as you do when ty'ng a bow. Hut, Instead of making the second loop immediately, draw the whole length of the string or ribbon through and proceed to make the second loop, which this time is actually formed Into the loop of the bow. Draw tight as is customary. This bow will not come undone or work out. Make How Straight. It is easy to understand that when the strain and rub come on the bow, the knot beneath, Instead of working loose, tightens. We now have a real dictionary type of knot for it "will not slip." This Is no theory, but ft practical working plan, one I have used for many years and found abso lutely successful. While the first requisite of a tied shoe lace is that It remains tied, the second Is that the bow comes straight across the front of the shoe without twisting. How you do this depends on how you make the flrst tying, and the direction of the ends, which must follow their natural tendency or the bow will be askew. A little careful watching and experimenting will he all that will be needed to perfect the tying of the bow. When knot is tight and bow straight, both comfort and good looks are well met. Selecting Silverware. Selecting silverware Is a pleasant task which, at one time or another falls to the lot of every hometnaker. It may be the silver Is fyi her own home, or It may be for a wedding [?resent for a new home. In either event the person sees the beautiful pieces, reproductions of choice old pntterns or new pieces and new styles. As silverware has both a decorative and practical purpose. It should fulfill both missions, nnd always prove an artistic pleasure. The shapes and sizes of flatware and hollow ware have been carefully thought out by makers In order for each piece to fulfill best Its special j use. The name flatware refers to knives, forks, spoons and all such pieces as lie flat on the table and are service or Individual pieces. The name hollow ware pertains to all con tainers. which in order to hold things j must be hollow, such as pitchers, cof fee and tea pots, sugar bowls, and plates, dishes of all sorts and descrip tions that are made of this precious metal. Trays and platters, although they may be flat, yet nevertheless, are containers come under the cate gory of hollow ware. Flatware con sists of small articles. Holiow ware pieces are larger, although their sizes differ widely. <c\ Bell Syndicate. ? WNU Pervlca. New Paris Creation Om? of the latest of 1'aiisian fash ion croat Ions is this astrakhan coat and toque. Eats 80 "Hot Dogs," "Is Not Very Hungry" I'?elgrnde. ? Drauolju Illlc wasn't very hungry, othei wise ho might have bettered Ills record of eighty sausages at one sitting. Illlc, a carpenter, devoured eighty of the Serbian "hot dogs" called "ce vnpcicl," highly spiced roasted pieces of lamb, pork and veal, wash ing them down with four bottles of wine. He started fast on his first forty, but lagged a little the next ten and coasted on toward sixty. There the going got tough, and he barely limped through the last twenty. A large crowd wji tched ? him and applauded his efforts. Lois Picks Cotton From a Tree Picking cotton from n tree might be Romethlng new to cotton groworR In this country, lint lt'? nothing now to pretty Lola Smith, who Ir Rhown picking real c ?' 'rom r? tree In Miami, Kin. Thin cotton troo Ir one of tho few loft In until. Florida. It Ir n native of tropical Amorlcn and won Introduced Into tho Mate by tho Onltifla Indians In the dnya before ColtimhiiR. The tree grow* to a height of .10 foot. Aprons That Are Chic and Useful PATTEllN ao<10 2060 The housewife who takes pride In her kitchen usually takes great Inter est In a goodly supply of eldc uprons, and where could you find two love lier models than those shown today. Roth are Included In the one pattern and both have slenderizing front panels and that fashionable half-belt ed waistline. The upper design gives tine opportunty for using rick rack braid to set off the lines of Us smart V neck and spacious pockets. The lower sketch boasts h youthfully rounded neckline and Jaunty capelike shoulders, and would be us pretty as can be made up In a dainty dotted swiss, edged with embroidery. Pattern 20(50 Is available in sizes small, medium and large. Medium size, each apron takes one and a half yards ;?l5-ineh fabric. Illustrated Btep by-step sewing instructions included. SEND IT KTEEN (TINTS (lf.c) in coins or stamps (coins preferred) for this pattern. Write plainly NAME, ADDRESS and STYLE MJMEER. RE SURE TO STATE SIZE. Address orders to Sewing Circle Pattern department, LM.*5 West Seven teenth street. New York City. READ CAREFULLY "The? time table says that this train will arrive at nine ten niul it's linlt' an hour 1 ate rmw," complained the traveler at the small-town rail road station. "Well, "?aint ten yet Is' It?" th* agent countered. ? Portland Express Putting Her Wise Cora Cooinjrtwi ? My Dance. hle? hi.i soul, has confessed all his past love affairs to me. l'oll.v Pickles ? Ho wasn't confes I sing. lie was boasting, I Only Ont? Jones ? So you don't advise me to go there for my vacation. They ad vertise? good meals. Smith ? Veh ! You are them ? for the mosquitoes around ttiere. A Good Reaion Robson ? What prompted you to nsk Miss Frlvvell to ho your wife? Hobson- ? I think Miss Krivvell prompted me more than anything else.