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II-. ' V' SOUTH CAROl News of Interest Gleaned Pi Arranged Fi ! Monumont Design Accepted. Columbia, Special.?The monumei commission met in the office of Go j??*_ crnor Ansel last week and acceptc rai the design for the monument to tl ^ v women of the Confederacy offered i > v W. Ruckstuhl. The d - E t.in wax is very beautifi anc: :c monument is placed < _ B' th . ornnnrla if will K?? orrnn !' The commission wi K i.e D to complete the woi l-e .nd of this amount tl ?, >propriated $7,500. Cap i,- "*\ ales reported to the cor iwivVk U l" 1 there has boen collec the State $6,100. So the ded about $4,000 in a Hfc diC< te funds now in han 'ItflBht.. v. thought can be easi [' r-i--. uch a worthy cause. Tl .e bronze mouument w " commence just as soon as Mr. Rue C stuhl finishes the Calhoun statue at J delivers the some. He leaves f Genoa, where he will complete tl work on the Calhoun statue aud r turn to this country, and will tin B&y commence the monument. Mr. Rue Bel stuhl's work is well known here, i be did the imposing statue of Wai Hampton, which is so much admire The monument to the women of tl ^ x Confederacy will give expression a beautiful thought. The wax mod Sj'fc1 . ahows that there will be represent! Bkx > in bronze a woman embodying tl '/, \ characteristics of Southern beaut $ The figure?sitting?will show a w man in a quiet attitnde, thoughtf ' and serene, dressed in the pla modes ??t* the time, a woman with alight expression of care to show th she has suffered. Back of this flgu t there will be the Genius of the Sou : holding in her outstretched arms H' eroivn?all action here?for she about to crown the women of t South. On the right is a Cupid, t pV: boy of the South, bearing a gift flowers .a wreath. On the left Cupid, bearing a scroll?the Act j ' the Legislature signed by the Govt e-'-V' nor?sympolical of what the mon ment represents. ,Woman,s Monument Fund. Fund by Counties. Richland -rli'dH Marlboro f>10. Anderson 479. Sumter 403. Marion 403. Aiken 364. KL Darlington 336. KV: York. noi I Spartanburg 293. Newberry 230. Gr<" mwood 204. Chesterfield 199. Greenville ISO. Abbeville 1S3. Lexington 172. Farfield 161. Chester 15S. Edgefield 130. Orangeburg 120. Lancaster 121. Barnwell 91. I Calhoun 90. Laurens 75. Cherokee 73, Bamberg 71. / Florence 68. r Oconee 50. Clarendon 44, , Horry 40. Pickens 31. "Williamsburg 26. Georgetown 23. Hampton 23. Dorchester 21. Iv^oueiun In. Charleston 1G, Berkeley 13. Beaufort 10. Branchville Jail Burned to Grom Branchville, Special.?On Sunil morning about 2:30 o'clock the j here was destroyed by fire. 0 prisoner (colored) was the victim the flames. The origin of the f is not known. The general opini is that it was started by the prison in an effort to escape. Phosphate Works Inspected. Columbia, Special.?Governor A Ml, who has returned from the plu pbate inspection trip, reports tb the nlnnt?! inspected were found tion. He was struck wi work that ia going on "We hope to make tl nJn.tm. >> /"< Inu uoi i j, nam viuveril will be developed mc each year.,, This ye several experts on t vill make opservations ate mining. The membt hi nission and the quests i time on the trip. Tar Heel Elected Snperintcndent Gaffney Schools. Gaffnev, Special.?At a meeting the trustees of Gaffney'a pra;l schools Friday, Prof. Will ,T. Franc of High Point.*N. Jf., was elected s perintendent for the coming sclu year. Professor Speers. who has fi ed the position satisfactorily sin the resignation of Professor We did not offer for the plaee. A Frances comes very highly recoi mended,, ^ (Ht ?\* < IMA NEWS ITEMS rom All Sections of the State and 9r Busy Readers Orders From Gen. Davis. Charleston, Special.?Brig. Cor v._ Zimmerman Davis of Charlestor ,,j commanding the South Carolina di jg vision, U. C. V.t has issued the fol jy lowing general orders: e*_ "Headquarters, South Carolina Di vi.v.on, United Confederate Vet m' crans. t_ "Charleston. S. C.. May 15.100f ill "General Orilors No. 2, Series o * 1909" . ? ? le "1. The general reunion of U. C V. will ho held in Memphis. Tenn on Juno 8, D. and 10. pros. "The usual reduced rates hav re been published by the railroad, to d. getbcr with tlie schedule of specia d train from South Carolina, leavini Columbia at 1 o'clock p. m., June 7 jg via Southern railway to Birmingham ill and Frisco System to Memphis. "The committee of arrangement ltj in Memphis, requests all veteran or who expect to he entertained in fre l,e quarters to carry their blankets witl e_ them, and to notify W. R. Barksdah m chairman of the committee on hotel j._ and accommodations, in advance, o their intended acceptance of this hos le pitality. J "2. The annual reunion of th ^ South Carolina division, U. C. V t0 will be held at (blester, S. C., o ej June 23 and 24. Application ha >(j been made for the usual reduce j,e rates over all railroads. .. "It is hoped that a large numbc of the veterans of the division wi] uj attend both of these reunions. ,n "3. The following appointment a are announced: Miss Margaret Child at Columbia, maid of honor; Miss Na r0 Walker, Barnwell, maid of honor fh Mrs. L. C. Crenshaw, Chester, mat a rou ?>f honor. js "Also the following members o hc the division staff: Col. Stephen B Welch, Charleston, adjutant genert and chief of staff; Lieut. Col. C. S a Dwight, Columbia, assistant adjt 0? taut general; Lieut. Col. John ( ,r_ Lee, Charleston, assistant adjutan u. general; Lieut. Col. J. W. Reed. Che: ter, assistant adjutant general; Lieu' Col. W. H. Edwards, Chester, assi< tant adjutant general; Lieut. Col. \\ M. Graham, Sumter, assistant adjv tant general; Lieut. Col. David Care 00 well, Columbia, quartermaster gei IS eral; Maj. J. O. C. Fleming, I^aurem 05 assistant quartermaster general 75 I.ieut. Col. A. Moultrie Brailsfon 25 Camden, inspector general; Maj. I 55 F. Bradley, Easley, assistant inspe< 25 lor general; Lieut. Col. O. L. Sehun 001 pert. Newberry, judge advocate gei 251 eral; Lieut. Col. J. H. Whartoi In I Wnf i?v!aa aommioenwf <*ano?n1 T II utvi >VV| vuiiIimnnui j ^cuciui ^ iJicu 24 Col. F. L. Parker, Charleston, sui 00 geon general; Maj. M. J. 1). Dants 05 ler, Elloree, assistant surgeon gei 75 eral; Lieut. Col. W. R. Gordon, Can 50 den, chaplain general; Lient. Co 23 Wm. E. James, Darlington, chief c 25 Ordnance. 75 "By command of 10 "Zimmerman Davis, 50 "Brig. Gen. Commanding. 25 "Official: 25 "Stephen E. Welch, 50 "Adj. Gen. and Chief of Staff." 02 50 Mill Asks For Receiver. 25 Greenville, Special.?At a meetiri 00 Monday afternoon of the stoc] 75 holders of the Reedy River Manufa* 25 turing Company, a resolution wi 25 passing declaring that a temporary n 00 ceivership, for the repair and enlarge 00 ment of the plant, was expedient. 1 SO pursuance of this resolution procee< 50 ings will be commenced at on< AA ? n a ' ? uu loosing xo me appointment 01 a n 00 ceiver and the readjustment of tl 45 affairs of the co i oration. Thi 75 however, will not involve the shu 00 ting down of the plant or any sto] 00 page as arrangements have bee 50 made to continue the operation < 00 the plant without interruption. id. Leaces Silica Springs. ny Gaffney, Special.?Mr. Z. A. Rol j ertson has leased from W. Sam Li] seomb the Lipscomb Silica Spring ne and will not only supply the peop! of of Gaffney, but will arrange to shi |r<} the water to people out of the cit; The springs are situated a few mih 011 from Gaffney, and numbers of ov ier people go out daily to get the wat? on account of its medicinal qualitie Cboraw Teachers Ohoeen. n. Cheraw, Special.?At the scssic )8_ of the Cheraw school board held lai Friday, the annual report of the si iat perintendent was read and showe in this to have been an excellent yet ith both as to attendance and work don jn The entire teaching force was n . elected: B. C. Mclver, superintedent 11S H. C. Sheridan. Mrs. J. S. Hartzel lor Misses Lizzie Malloy, Hattie Go< ,rc frey and Mnttie Duvall. An a< ar ditional teacher in the high schot department is to he elected befoi on the close of school, and a teacher c !rs music nnd a teacher of typewritin "?* and stenography nre also to 1: selected. of Prisoner Makes Leap Prom Mcvir Train. Anderson. Special.?From a Soutl ern train running 50 miles an hot es? near (J r-eenville, Ropert Sams, ,u" white man. being brought here f( ?1 trial for attempted assault, leaped t the ground in hopes of gaining frei lfe dom. The train was stopped an st? Sams was found in an unconseioi lr* condition with face and nose brokei Q1" He arrived hero in the carc of physician. ; ISPRECKLES ON THE STANI Cro^e Examination of the MUlionaJr | Is Bitter in the Trial of Pres. CaJ honn For Bribery. San Francisco, Special.?Rudolp Sprcckles, millionaire, whose nam lias been blazed into the record o every day's proceedings in the tria '* for bribery of President Patrick Cal l' houn, of the United Huilrcrads, be pun more than live months ago, wa a witness again Tuesday. Through a cress-examination, rc plete with stinging inferences and in sinuations. he sat undisturbed, dis closing the innermost secrets of tin 1 great prosecution, reciting the sub stantial payments be has made to of , ticers and agents and disclaiming nt " terly the motive imputed to him b] "* Attorney Earl Rogers, who conduct ed the iuqurv for the defense. Mr. Sprcckles admitted that he ha< ^ paid the rent and expenses of Mr " iienev's private law ofike for a loin ? time and that these items nmounte< ' to between $500 ami $000 a month 11 It was likewise admitted th:*t Mi Spreeklos had for a long time paii ? a considerable sum to Charles W s Cobb, Mr. Hencv's partner, to wlion 0 . r ^ >n pursuance of an agreement ma<l< at the outset for the prosecution, Mr Sprcekles is to pay $20,000 more. Wickersham Taker, Action. Washington, Special.?After re e cciving a long telegram sent Mpnda; by Henry K. Asp, counsel for the de n' fendants in the Oklahoma land fram s cases, to Scnutor Curtis, of Kansa: j City, and forwarded by the latter t< the Department of Justice, Attorne; r General Wiekersham Tuesday deeid II ed to suspend further proceeding ii these cases, pending the receipt o 8 testimony in support of charges alleg 8 ing improper conduct on the part o n the government attomevs. The Attorney General also decide* >. that it would not be for the best in terests of the government to substi .? tnte other counsel for those now con j ducting the eases. In commenting upon the matter Mr. Wickersham stated that it wp.i his firm conviction that the govern ) ment attorn ays were performinj t their duties faithfully and efllcientB and that, at this long range, he eer f tainly would not interfere with thei ^ efforts. He recognised that the gov eminent attorneys were eondnctini these cases under adverse circumstan J. ces and no doubt were doing thei j. full duty and doing it well, an* p should be sustained. A Million Dollar Fire. ). Akron, Special?Fire in thi j- seven-story Hower Block Tuesday de 1- stroyed the building and its contents , ., i,.-_ ?v. 1.* ?.;i I- l,Cl lining U AVISO V% U1VII 11 l?? wil a, aggregate $1,500,000. Several girli t. employed in the building hnd a nar r- row escnpe. Firemen were in dangei 5- from falling walls. There were up a- wards of two hundred employes ii i- the building when the fire was dis 1. covered. The blaze started in th >f basement and the occupants of th< block had plenty of time to escape although the young women wen thrown into a panic. No injurie: " were reported. The cause of the flri is unknown. The losses of these com panics will run from $5,000 to $35, 000 each. Both the Goodrich Rub ber Company and the Diamond Fir Company many thousands of dollar if! worth of automobile tires stored ii It- the building. The tires are a com e* plete loss. There is about $800,0(X is insurance on the building and it; e- contents. e- ? n Girl Has Hydrophobia. Winston-Salem, Special. ? Mis Maude Kinnel, 16 years old, daugh e* ter of a Forsyth county farmer, wh< ie was bitten two years ago by a rabit 8> dog and who for the past two dayi t* has been manifesting signs of hydro phobia, was declared Monday by at !n tending physicians to be sufferinf ^ from that dread disease. It is sai< she can live but a few days. George Meredith Praised. t>- London, By Cable.?The Britis] > public and press are making ampl s, atonement on the death of the fore 'e most English novelist for any neglec ^ he suffered during his lifetime. No ? even the death of Swinburne c?lle< oilt such universal warm tributes o admiration and affection as that a g George Meerditb. The death of th novelist is felt as a more intimat personal loss than that of the poet ^ Ice Still Strong at Moose Head Lake j. Portland, Me., Special.?Won 1(j from Moose Head lake states that i ^ was as cold as midwinter down then e and that the ground was not ye j. thawed. Teams and men and largi ,. loads of supplies are being tranpport j' ed over the ice without the slighte? ]. show of weakening, and the ice ii just showing signs of turning blacl or softening up materially in an] re Part. if o PetroBino's Friend Killed. >e New York, Special.?Pioggie **uc cio, the schoolmate and lite-lom friend of Detective Petrosino, wa [O shot and killed in the hallway o his home early Tuesday morninpr. II it had been a leader in the funeral ar ? rangements of Petrosino and in tli )T plans for the benefit of his widow p He had been repeatedly warned tha a I he must cease his activities in liehal is of Petrosino or he would meet a sin n. ilar fate to his, but he paid no attee a tion to the threats. The assassi escaped. ) GEORGIA ROAD TIED 1) ? General Manager Scott Makes I- Annoaxcomont That "No Tra Are Moving''?The Governor h stmctfl Authorities to Take e Stt-Ps Noceaeary to Protect I f and Property. 1 Aucu&tu. Go.. Special.?'The Ge 1- pa Railroad was completely tied - Sunday night. The management s not trying to move trains, simply < nouuoing that it lius the men. k moans and the equipment to prwe< - and will do so when the State j - nounees thut it is ready to protoct e property and employes. The stink - are standing pat. They ussert tl - they have not been and will no - parties to any violence. Synipath f ers with the strikers, it is set o - have done all the hurt that has bt done. 1 General Manager Thomas K. Sci at 6 p. m., made tlw* anuouneenu t that "no trains are moving." G< 1 ernor Hoke Smith his wired the sh . ilT of McDuffie county to co-open . with tho municipal authorities and 1 tuinmon ull deputies necessary . protect life and property. Il is i this country that Thomson is local 3 und it is nt Thomson that the cm . issued their ultimatum Saturd ui^ht that no trains should pass c; rytng eithein n<?/A?nioei tfremen negro tiremon. Govemor Smith 1 . also asked the sheriff there to ki f him fully advised of the bitnatii . The Governor has also wired the sh i iffs of Koekdale and Dekalb oounti s giving them information that en D neers claim to have been rocked V Conyors and Lithonia and urging \ . on them prompt action for the p 3 tection of the railronds and proper f From the offioee of the Geori .. Railroad here Sunday night it v f announced that all freight accumu ted at Atlanta for Augusta a points beyond would b? moved tl _ night by the Central and Soaboa _ The Oeorgia road freight station h . was opened Monday for delivery freight to consignees, but sbipers i .. requested to withhold all shiprno c until further notiee. After thns i . mitting how complete is the tie y the road soys: "The Georgia road is omitt . nothing that offers promise of ca r resumption." t Williams on Dixie. Natchez, Miss., Special.?The r formal event of the stay of the h ^ tleship Mississippi nt Nnte.hcz v the banquet Saturday night to the ficers of the vessel. Governor N was present hiuI spoke on "Miss 9 sippi, a loyal member of the ist hood of State, a leader in moral i materiul progress." 1 The feature of the stay was s speeeh of John Sharp Willinms F urday afternoon at the presentat r of a magnificent beaten silver pni " bowl to the battleship by the City 1 Natchez. The bowl was made for " hihition at the Jamestown Expositi Mr. Williams said: 1 "As a complete and crowning t timonial of the sincerity and for B of this welcome, Captain, you \ 9 soon, at Horn Island, receive as B gift of the State herself, a silver f - vice with the noble lineaments " graved upon it of the steadfast oh: " tain of a storm-eradled Con fedora 8 which has passed, not unworthily s to history. As u pnrtial testimon n I have the honor now to nrpunnt tt> " pieces of silver. Let them rem ^ you in distant seas, not only of s duty hereafter doubly beholden to well performed, but of the sweet li of Dixie, tbe fairest part of the wh earth. When you meet an enem s ship, and I hope you may never h - to meet one, sink her and then qi j from these cups a toast to victor 1 victoria Americana?but if she si; 4 yon, as she has chanced to manj - brave ship, well handled, then for - honor of the sweet women of Matcl ? let these modest pieces of silror 1 down with the ship, and not beef enemy's booty to shame their nam Runaway Hcrse Kills Young Lao ^ Augusta, Ky., Special. ? F. e Townsley, the 16-year-old daughtei " Samuel Townsley, of Johnsonvi t Bracken county, was Saturday foi t dead on the road near her home. ! j had been riding a spirited he f which became frightened and 1 I awav with her, throwing her e dragging her over the rough r e with her foot cuught in the stirri Are Denied Licenses. j Jefferson City, Mo., Speeial.?' t Missouri Supreme Court Setun j sustained the State law, which der t licenses to insurance compan ? I whieli nnv nnw .OR....... ; ? >?J ?J *" >>,?. "inn 11 r?u * ies in excess of $50,000. The de k ion was on an application from tli 8 large eastern companies for a writ i mandamus to compel the State P surance Department to issue lice to them. The writ was denied to petitioners?the Equitable Life surance Society, of Prudential Ins - ance Company and the Metrop li ? Life Insurance Company. s ??? j Shops Curtail. Spencer, X. ('., Special.?A era i n cut has been made in the work time of the force at the Snuthei 0 shops. The men were put on i hours, six days a week, a month more ago, hut rceently the work f was cut to eight hours. Satur l" the entire force, with the exoep of the round house men, are oiY. n order having been sent out to bi I on a five-day-a-wc<'k schedule. P. ! WASHINGTON NOTES j Senator (imp's resolution. directdns jn mg the committee on finance to conAll duct an investigation into wholesale ifc and retail prices of commodities, was discussed before the Senate Tuesday or at sonic length. Seeking to have the up ^ js resolution adopted. Mr. (lore said he an- wished to have statements concerning the the extortionate prices of lotnil dealers fully probed so that the country V1" might know just where the respon,ts vibihty for high prices rests. ers Tliat the cotton manufacturers sell their products, with an agreement lis . ' to the price at which the.v arp to be l1*" sold at retail, Mas the substance of a 11 * charge made by Mr. Gore. Dcnmnden ing proof of this assertion Senator Onllingcr said that what the country ' ' is demanding is prompt action on the tariff bill, lie added that it had been ,x" nccerted that the business interests 1 "r" of this country were kefing $10,000,- an> 1,<' 000 a dav bv the holding up of the ' to tariff hill". fro !" At times ; rovoked nmeh nierri- bul "1 i ment by his ready retort and de! nounciug the protective tariff policy, xx<_ i Senator Gore spoke at length, and j until 12 o'clock, when, under the 1,r" j rules of the Senate, the unfinished 1 11 or business which was the tariff bill, was ias i u- ~ ~ 1 i iu ix- inKi-n up. iieiore T tint wn# ut's 'ep ! done, in response to nn appeal from Bla l"j* Mr. Bailey, the Senate agreed to vote ,M~ i on Mr. G ore's lesolution. amended as e?' , suggested by Mr. Bailey so as to require the appointment of a select wit ? committee of four Reptibliecu and J*>~ three Itemnc.ratic Senators to oonduet ' the investigation asked for, and by a wit vote of 50 to 29 it was referred to pre the committee on finance, Senators tjQS Brist-ow, Crawford and l^iFollctte, voting no with the Democrnts. [n<* , Mr. Simmons, of North Carolina, got '"*1 while speaking in the Senate in support of the contentions, made by Mr. an< ,'rf' Stone, relative to the price of imported razors, said that the Domocrats were ready to vote on the tariff " bill at any time ni>d that it wus the recalcitrant element of the Republi- ' "up can party, which was delaying the mc measure. "As Boon as you can pet their consent to tak. a vote on this rlv ... . - - nir?ie*ure, ue i>aiu, "you can get , ours." ens I A vote was then taken on r.n sas amendment hv Mr. Stone restoring big the Dingley rate on razors. It was at- rejected by a vote of 3(5 to 43. the vas Republicans voting in the negative aS] of- with the Democrats being Beveridgc, ju< (>el Bristow, Brown, Clnpi>. Crawford, Cummins. Dolliver, Gamble, LaFol- irr Rr_ lette and Nelson. In ind Describing the men who have com# pQi , before the committee on finance in t]10 connection with the tariff bilL, "silk lot- bats and kid gloves and carrying ion gold-headed walking sticks." Senator nRi J0h McLnurin on the floor sat.d he had 0f failed to soe any one there who could Ka( ox_ be classed as a consumer. "I have not jn? on | classed as a consumer. "I have not . seen any one there." said the Senator ? pj,. from Mississippi, "tbe cut of whose , vor would indicate to me that he is vill a fanner, a mechanic, a blacksmith the i or other laboring man." . ,Pr- I rr.L thC en- i ' be most tmportnnt happenings in gUi [ef. ; the nation's capital Saturday were n? din ,0V, | follows: in- i Senator Aldrich failed in his offort ma ial, ! 'o have the Senate name n day for a pr< oaP ! final vote on the tariff bill. Senators mo fnd . Daniel an Cummins, both raising obthe jfcctionfi, when the chairman of the he finance committee suggested June 2 ,nd I '1* date. cor ole ! Two battleships and either five tor- I y*H ' pedo boat destroyers or one modern I ave vepair ship are provided for in the evt iaff ] Navy Department's building pro- m0 y RTamnie for the fiscal year ending > nks June 30, 1911, it was officially an7 a j nonneed. the I By presidential proclamation, about ies, i ~00,(XH) acres of government lands in , po J Montana. Idaho and Washington, are >me | to be opened up for settlement and od( e.'? entry. The Senate sub-judieinry commit- jrj, ly. tee, appointed to pass upon the nnm'.ffie | ination of Judge Connor, decided to jet of report in favor of confirmation. Tho ille, oot'ion of the committee was unani^nd mous. Similar action is expected by ghe the full committee which meets Monjrse day. No opposition to the eonfirtna- wii ban tion of Judge Connor's nomination off, has made its appearance before tho oad the judiciary conunittee and none Q"' ipg. is expected. Charges against the government at- thi torneys conducting the prosecution of Sp: j>jie the Oiahoma land fraud eases were received at the Department of Justiee, but Attorney General Wicker- ' 1,08 sham subsequently announced that no to ies, action would be taken in regard to aer |ar_ them, until tl?- cases in which the an (.js_ attorneys were engaged, have been die in>e disposed of. of The day's session of the Senate re- dui In. solved itself into a talk-fest, in bel nse ] which Senators Bailey, McCumher. the Elkins, Scott, Burton. Hale and As- Clnpp participated. The lumber tur- schedule was under discussion for the qV{ tan greater part of the time but no vote mo was taken ou any subject. as] The House rates wore retained cn fas a polished plate glass. but with the un:incr dorstandinjj that when the bill is *cr ?'s taken up in the Scante proper, there line will probably be some alterations. ( i or The so-called 44progressives'' criti- mc day cised the House rate as too hiirh. ! (lav while Senator Oliver, contended that 1 1'jj the rate was entirely inadequate to ou .gin the yroper protection of live plate glass industry oi the United States. \ prl THOSE C()NFKRKXCES. When n statesman meets his fellow. They confer Do you think they loudly bellow? ) Hardly, Kir. They converse iu whispers mellow, As it were. To confer in secret sitting Oft thev go. There is sly and stealthy flitting To and fro. What about? It isn't fitting That we knoiv. ?Will S. Adkins, in Tuck THE MARKS. Sacon?"And does your son show signs of h's college training?" Sgbert?"Oh, yes: he's quite lame ni an Injury received on the foot1 team."?Vonkc-rs Statesman. TWO HIRES. 'What! Your husband is dead?" 'Yes; a year ago. And last week lurried again." 'My sincerest condolence and hearit congratulations." ? Fliegenda ictter. FATE. "They used to say I was a man h a future." 'And now?" 'Now they refer to me as a man h a past. Wish I could have a sent once."?Cleveland Leader. FORESHADOWED. 'You look bo pale and thin. What'* you?" 'Work. From morning to night i only a one hour rest." 'How long have you been at it?" "I begin to-morruA Success. ROMANCE IN REAL LIFE. "Duke, my father has lost his >ney." "I will marry you, anyhow." "Can I believe my ears?" "Yes; a man like your father can illy make another fortune."?Kan* ? City Journal. A PEDESTRIAN. ""What Is a pedestrian, papa?" ked a juvenile whose parent had >t begun to run his own motor. "A pedestrian, my son." said the ltable papa, "Is a person who gets the way of motor cars to annoy the or chauffeurs."? Tli.-DiLi>. FAULTY POEM. "I have a serious criticism to offer Eilnst this exquisite little sonnet enled 'The Charge of the Light Bride." " said Rondenu Rimer, produor his monthly gas bill. "How Is that?" asked the cashier. "Well, you see, the meter is wrong." Puck. UNPARDONABLE. "Sir," said the imperial ruler of all ( Russlas, "do you realize what a If of Inequality yawns between orlary humanity and an autocrat?" "Dear me!" answered the Doulte In mild surprise. "Is this gulf >positlon a czar-chasm?"?Lialtire American. OOKS LIKE AN INSINUATION. "So this patent savings hank Isn't nplete enough for you?" "No; I want something that will :e my pay envelope away from me ;ry Saturday and dole me out ney by the nickel." "Then you'd better get married." Pittsburg Post. HARD TO UNDERSTAND. "I can't see how it could be." ised the man who gets puzzled over i things. 'How what could be?" asked his end. "I don't see how there could have ;n bad provisions In the Pure Food I."?Chicago News. EITHER WAY. MI Vould bate to be considered a je man." Why?" "Because all the fools would be otlng me." "Well, that Is the kind of people it quote you now, isn't it?"? ringfield "Journal. FORCE OF HABIT. The street car conductor was aboul sit down to breakfast, when a meslger boy brought him a telegram nouncing that a rich relative had d and that he was the sole heir. "Easy street!" shouted the conctor, reaching up for an imaginary 1 rope.?Chicago Tribfine. GREENLAND PLAN. K traveler stopped at a hotel in eenland, where the nights are sis n t he Inn o- o n<? no IVU5I uuu ?r? lie 1C510ICICU ced a question of the clerk. "What time do you have break* it?" From half pari March to a quap of May."?Cleveland Leader. MOST IMPORTANT. Giles?"What do you consider the 1st important of your senses?" Smiles?"The sense of touch." Giles?"How do you make that L?" Smiles?"But for it there are times ten I wouldn't be able to raise th? ice of a meal."?Chicago News. ^ '?1L' ^ ' arfA Hi if ia >***