University of South Carolina Libraries
/ ry ?. i : MEN ARE SO QUEER , 9 Z By R. S. JONES. 2 "Tom was terribly annoyed," said | . the young woman with the Huffy hair ; 1 and the hint of a baby stare- "It it- j ^ perfectly funny tho way a man acit- j j just because he is your husband?did j you ever notice it?"^ j | "It is, indeed!" said the others in chorus. "How was I to know that sensible I business men would take me so seri- j v ously?" pursued the fluffy youn^; \ t woman. "1 thought they were sup-' ^ nnBOf| f n |lQvn i rv?vw vv ut*t v UiovviUlUCUb ailU 6CUM5 | At least, Tom is always preaching about their superiority in that respect. * Tom explained to me very carefully ^ betore we went to the automobile r show last month that we couldn't buy ^ a car. He said we couldn't afford it, considering my hat bills and his cigars . and the notes coming due on the j 1 house we bought last year. I am 1 sure I had it all perfectly clear in I i my mind, so I am positive I was not i ( to blame. "But did you ever notice what per- ^ fectly fascinating young men they put B in charge of tho exhibition cars at an s automobile show?" "I should say I have noticed them!" ] said the brunette girl. "And, anyhow, Tom had no business to run across two college friends the minute we got inside the show ^ and pay so much attention to them that he couldn't pay any attention to me! Those three would cluster to- | gether over a chassis with a lot of crazy machinery stuck on it and talk ^ like mad. So I simply had to do something to kill time." "Of course you did!" agreed the others. "So when at the first booth a good looking man who saw mo Ktitfivinw ? < touring oar asked me if I was inter- 1 ested I said 1 was. Then he was just ] as nice as could be. He told me ( everything about the car and made t me get in it and explained just how I could run it myself and wanted my ( address to send me & catalogue. He ' said he'd be pleased to come out some < day with the car and show me how it ran and give me a lesson. Ho was so set on coining that I hnted to hurt his feelings, so I did not refuse. ' "It was just the same way at the I next place and ever after. Torn and j his friends were so busy over horrid ( old machinery that I was considerably left out. However, I made lots of ? friends among the agents. I "All of them wanted to bring out < their cars to demonstrate to me how i superior they were and, as I had told one man he could come, it didn't seem 1 a bit fair to the others to refuse any 4 mm of them, so I said I'd be delighted. It i Jiftii^^-urleu' to .w.n that I owed a ter- \ rlble tot of calls and that it would* Oe ^ such a nice way to get around and pay them. ' "I didn't think it necessary to men- (' tion the matter to Tom. He did re d mark that a huge lot of cataloguer. ^ was coming to our house and it was ' a wonder where those fellows got people's names and, anyhow, thank goodness, he didn't have a machine eating its head off and making him ^ poor! Men are so selfish. "The Zero automobile man came out 1 the very day after the show closed ( and we had a beautiful ride. I made 1 six calls. However, I quite changed c my opinion of him, because when I ] came out of the last place he seemed actually cross and said things about * waiting in cold weather. I don't t how he exnects to sell enrs witVirm* < shoving a little consideration for cus- ( tomers. I told him I didn't think I j liked his car at all. "Then there was the Largo car man ( and the Allegro man and the Fortis- 1 simo man and the Solendiferous man < and about six different electric com- ] panies and a lot more whose names I forget. When they came one at a time it was lovely. "I did two teas one afternoon in the Largo oar. but the man lost his tern- ( per, and when 1 came from the second tea the wretched creature had driven off and I had to go home on < the street car' "The queer thing was that every one seemed so indignant when I refused to give an order for a car and said tilings about my leading them on The worst of it was that Tom came 1 home ill with the grip one afternoon ] just as seven different cars arrived all at once to take mo out! He said he thought I was giving & funeral or a tea. ""Wtien lie understood?my dears, have you ever seen a man suffering ( from bad temper and grip simultaneously? i "I explained to him most carefuly that It wasn't my fault at all, but be roared that he was ashamed to look a man in the face from that time on for fear he was one of the automobile ( agents I liad shamefully deceived? yes, that's what he called It?and that he'd lllro fn 1/nmn ?'*>? 1 * ' " W ........ I.imi nomeil I1BC1 in place of consciences anyhow. What do you think of that? Aren't men utterly queer?" "They surely are!" the other yout^ married women agreed. "When you hadn't done one single thing, either?" Unusual. "Anything new?" asked the reporter. "Yes," replied the desk sergeant. "A man and a woman were badly smashed up In an automobile accident a little while ago." "That happens every dny." "Rut. this is an extraordinary case. She was his wife." 'V ' WOriEY VERY MUCH WASTED * 'roprletor of Traveling Bag May Have Meant Well, But He Didn't Make a Hit. Oliver* P. Newman, chairman of he board of commissioners of Washngtorv, and Louis Brownlow, & vorld-wide traveler, are boon cominnimis. After the last presidential election Newman, ihen a political writer, was trdered to accompany President-elect IVilson to Bermuda. Tie promptly vired Brownlow for the use of a raveling bag which had been round he world several times and was enirely covered with foreign labels. Possession of the hag, Newman felt, vould show him to be eligible for nembership in the "Bound the rVorld club." In due time a crate was carried nto Newman's apartment in New fork. \\ ith pleasant thought of the nipression the bag would make on lie presidential party, Newman un>aeked the crate. Before him was l hag as immaculate as his own new unease, .\ewman wired jsrownlow : "Where the blazes are the foreign abels?" Brownlow's reply was: <fYou are an ingrate. T spent two lollnre to have the labels washed ?If." ?Sunday Magazine. HUNGARIAN MEAL IN DEMAND Considered Among the Beet in the World It Is One of Country's Great Sources of Wealth. Flour milling is generally considered the most important industry in Hungary. There ere 21,000 tlour nills in operation, about ninety per 'ent of which are small mills that mpply only the demands of the localities in which they are situated. The remainder are steam mills" equipped with the most modern machinery and prepared to compete in he world's markets. Uunsjarv crow* arge quantities of wheat, and cerain grades of it are among I lie best m the world. It sometimes happens that so large a percentage of Hungarian wheat is bought by the Ausrian mills through the co-operation if the Austrian railways that tlu^ Hungarian mills are forced sort Russian wheat. oal mines, operated by meat, are inV>*v4' UKUi rasHe^timatjd* based on pas^^fflrsT hat tlie net loss to the government >n all the coal mines it owns and oprates would be at least three hunlr< d thousand dollars for the present 'ear. TRAINED WITNESS. This story is being told of a coram lhiducah barrister: The lawyer n question was defending an old coined woman who was bein? arraigned icfore one of the local magistrates harmed with the theft of a chicken. Fie had called the accused to the land to testify in her own behalf ind in order to help her out instruct?d her thusly: ''Now, Liza, tell the ;ourt whether or not. you have, or lave had, in your possession a fowl, )r chicken, answering the description or appearance of the fowl you dole."?Paducah (Ky.) NewsDemocrat. AT AN ADVANTAGE. "I Rhould think," remarked Mr. Glrowcher, "that the chef of this res :aurant would be envious of the orchestra leader." "Why?" "Because if people don't approve if the food they can make a protest. But they've got to sit up and take the music whether they like it or lot." PLENTY LIKE HIM. Qahe?Old Titewad brags that he lasts his bread on the waters. Steve?He docs. But only when it is too stale for his own use. HIS DIFFICULTY. Wi(TCT WIlU (lun'f l/All wUla -on J J and take a wife? Wagg?I don't know whose wife to take.?Club Fellow. DOMESTIC HARMONY. The Minister?Do you play any instrument ? Sandy (sadly)?Aye, second fiddle, at home! THE GUY. "My, hut We^pslev does make money out of that sohstulV <?f his." "Sure pop. lie's the guv that put the pay into pathos." i SOMETHING WENT WRONG: : ~ - I I By SADIE WOODS. J ? , "My, but you've got a cold!" said the girl with the accentuated robespierre collar at the enamelware counter as she paused in the act of putting a nicked saucepan under the pile out of sight. "Gold?" echoed the girl at the small hardware counter in a tone of infinite scorn. "Got a gold? What I've got is as an iceberg to a small icicle when it comes to golds! Hut I thought I had a good time getting it, M'ree!" "Howjuh do it?" inquired the girl with the robe8plerre collar. jm "Why, the Jolly Rover Social clob gave a midsummer party the other night," explained the afflicted one. "In zero weather!" cried the girl at the enamehvare. "For the land's sake! Were they crazy? S'pose you had,a beach party and went for a swim, and had ice cream for refreshments afterward! B-r-r-r!" "Nod exactly," said the Bufferer. "Of course, it was zero, but that's what made It interesting. It's always interesting to do things people don't > uu iu uu, lbII L ll[ "Maybe," agreed the girl at the enamelware counter. "But there are limits! Now, >f any one requested me to go on a violet picking expedition in January it would be unexpected, but nevertheless crazy. I hope I hiue sense enough to know a snowbank fruni a steam radiator. 1 don't wonaoi you have a cold!" "We had the party at the ball," explained the girl at the hardware counter. "And it would have been all rigln only something seemed to go wrong with 1 hheating plant. The president of th3 club said he told the Janitor to have it hotter than usual, but the Janitor must have got mixed and done the opposite. So when we came in dressed in white organdies and such things everybody turned purple almost at once. "Now, it doesn't help a girl's temper, to know that she's a light heliotrope tinge and she can't be her own sweet self when she realizes that she has a bright red nose and goose pimples on her hands and arms! So everybody started with a bad temper. Jimmy said i stepped on his feet, but I didn't ?it was his last summer shoes that were too small for him and his feet" were numb from cold, anyhow. He didn't listen kindly to my explanation, because when we sat down to talk there^^^BB|^^last from the win^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ tdrafts. So he to aet "To get even with Jimmy I smiled kit Percy Wagner and he took me to ha?e some lemonade that ought 'a' been boiled, it was so cold, and then he ant me down in a corner and talked to me, and Jimmy could see us, and I wouldn't 'a' moved if I'd frozen to the spot. I 'most did, too, because there was a cold air radiator in the floor right there and I know the other end was connected with the north pole. I had on my ruffled dimity and white shoes and hosiery and my teeth were chattering. Percy's nose looked frostbitten and his knees knocked together. When we tried to dance we sort of fell around like clothespins. "Then we sat in a circle and ate Ice cream and our throats froze up till we ought 'a' called a plumber and everybody said, 'Ain't we having a fine time?' And Jimmy glowed till I was afraid his face would crack with the cold and everything. Then finally, just as Percy and I were getting some more lemonade, Jimmy grabbed me by the arm. " 'Say,' he hissed, 'I've had enough of that sissy fellow trailing after you!' "Just as I drew away, indignant like ?for nobody can boss me even if U is Jimmy?Percy sort of fell against the lemonade bowl and It tipped over and soaked Jimmy and me. I'd hate to think it of Percy, but I can't see how he could have upset that bowl without planning It. "Well, of course, Jimmy and I tad to go homo then, and mv! the Ikjiguage that man used was someth ng wonderful! I didn't see how there could be any more language in the world, but I founyd there wns, for wlen we started to get off the street ^ar Jimmy found his duck trousers that had got soaked with lemonade wire frozen to the seat. The condu<tor wouldn't hold the car while Jim ny tore them loose! He said there wpre no rules 'n' regulations requiring a c inductor to delay service Just becaxse a hffuunncrAP ant frevon /-v nook ? nvfb i? \y?i\,u iv tuv oc?u "Hy the time we got home my dhnlty drees skirt was bo frozen with lemonade that it rattled like tin, and when I hit the doorpost it cracked and ruined Itself. I s'pose I must 'a' got my gold somehow during the evening." "It looks that way," agreed the girl at the enamelware counter. Scared to Go Home. "Do I look like a milkman?" asked a tango dancer of a patron, as he was leaving his temple of tango about four o'clock this morning. "Why, no; what an idea." was the ri'?nnn.o "Well. I'm clad of It." said the tangolst. "My wife took a ahot at a milkman the other morning, and I'm kind of skittish about going home at this hour. Rest little woman In the world, you know, but hasty, and I'd regret ^ any mistake In my case." \ r V- y V , . The big sale talking about ^ day, Nov. 20th. Look lor bii in this paper ni T. M. j^wms Better Than ft _ % I llPH fhp Pomilir o ?n? ? ? >?v * until y i u^;v. , a 1 ill | Girls;' Page, Doctor's Advice. | Travel, Science, Education, minds, the best the world can f j CUT THIS OUT and send it (or ?inme <>f this t>ni>er) with $2.00 for The COMPANION for 191.S, and we will send Fl? FF All the issues of THE COM^ i'ANION for the remaining ' Weeks of 1914. I7RFF THE COMPANION HOME 1 I\.SLEi CALENDAR for 1915. TUFN The 52 Weeldjr Issues of SUBSCRIPTIONS RECI m?====5 I New J Have Just Rt Line of JEWELF to Our Town. 1 you want?a doll dollar?I have it B. B. E z===| At < I have purchased the ? and as there are many V uuus ai that 1 do not want to can fering many of these artic call and take a look and g T. B. MONEY IN IDEAS Bell, Howe, Singer, and other millionaire inventors began life as poor boys. Fortunes await other inventors. Can YOU think of something to jjatent? America's greatest inventor tells HOW TO INVENT in a booklet sent to you free by I COPP & CO., Patent Attorneys, 745 8th St., Washington, D. C. I*#*Be sure to name this newspaper in your letter. Ask Editor about cost of Patent. T, ' ice I: we have been vill begin Fri-j [| advertisment j | 3X1 ween. i< Joseph I! public well $j EQ0KBnBBBDHHVBBBBBBSZJBnwm i LO~Great\j SerialsJ 11 of life and action, filled with the ? e of fine inspiration and followed A r 250 short stories of adventure, ? will make COMKANIONj Ever in 1915 'e Editorial Page, Boys' Page, , and 44 a ton of fun," Articles of From the best minds to the best produce for you and everyone in the home. There is no age limit to enthusiasm for The Youth's Companion. 52 Times a Year ?not 12. CAM/1 "PI-- v aU? I uciiu iu-uay iu t nc iuuni's companion, Boston, Mass., for f "iMum timmi rwua-FKm * ? 1 :IVED AT THIS OFFICE S======i ewelry iceived the Nicest IY Ever Shipped [f it is good goods m ars worth for a for you. UBANKS Cost ). H. Laney stock of goods, * g\ IU Eilius y to the country, I am ofles at actual cost. Please et prices. Nufi sed. Watts A Full Line 01 stock I'owders, Liniments and Veterinary Medicines kept on I hand at all times. Calls answer 1 ed day 01 ni<;ht for the cash. G. H. Watts. Veterinary surgeon. Pageland, S. C. Tax Notice The books will be open for the ollection of taxes from the 15th lay of October 1914 to Decem>er, 31st 1914. Tax levy for State (? mills Constitutional School 3 " Ordinary County 5 1-2" Interestson R.R Bonds 1 1-2" Road and Bridges 2 " Total levy 18 mills School Bonds Jheraw School 3 mills 4 mills tfarlburg 3 " Drange Hill 8 " 3ats Branch 4 " 3ee Dee 3 Stafford 4 " 21-2 " iethel 4 Center Point 4 " Chesterfield 4 "3 Special School 21-2 " Parker 4 " Pine Grove 3 Shiloh 3 4t 5 snow Hill 4 " Dusley 7 Vaughn 3 44 2 Wamble Hill 3 44 White Oak 4 44 Center 4 44 Cross Roads 6 Mt. Croghan 3 44 4 Special School 5 44 New Hope 7 Ruby 5 44 4 1-2" Wexford 4 44 5 Buffalo 2 " Dudley 3 Five Forks 2 Man gum 3 " Pageland 6 44 5 Plains 2 Center Grove 5 " Friendship 3 44 Jefferson 5 44 4 Long Branch 4 44 n n:it A ** oreen run t Middendorf 3 McBee , 8 44 4 1-211 Sandy Run 4 Union 4 Bay Springs 4 Bear Creek 2 Bethesda 2 Juniper 3 Patrick 3 41 4 P\9(tthm 0 ? ^-*? ??? i. Lewis 3 44 Palmetto 3 44 Wallace 3 44 Special road Cheraw Township 2 mills Special road Alligotor Township 5 mills Will Collect at Following Places. Cheraw Tuesday Nov 3 Cash's Wednesday Nov 4 Dudley Thursday Nov 5 Pa gel and Friday Nov f> McBee Monday Nov 9 Plains Monday Nov 1(> Jefferson Tuesday Nov 17 Angelus Wednesday Nov 18 Cioss Roads Thursday Nov 19 Ml. Croghan Friday Nov 20 Middendorf Monday Nov -3 Cedar Creek Tuesday Nov 24 Sandv Davis' Wpdnosdav " 25 Patrick Thursday Nov 26 John Wallace Nov 27 W. A. Douglass County Treasurer Sept. 15, 1914. (AdvertignmelU) Books of Subscription Open Books of subscription to the capital stock of The Cotton Warehouse company, of Pageland, are open. R. II. Blakeney 11. B. Sowell II V Mnnorn ... - - ... %*t.8vr Board of corporators. (AdvortlaoTTont) Claims Paid Below is a partial list of claims paid by health and accident companies through the S. J. Sol icis agency ai KUDy: R. E. Richardson 59.25 J. V. Thompson 50.00 M. J. Deesc 9<>.f>5 B. T. 1 ,ong 68.00 J. A. Sellers 12.00 C. M. Tucker 7.50 J.C. Mangum come and get you one. S. J. Sellers. Kuhy, S. C. Hanna & Hunley Attorneys CHESTERFIELD. S. C.