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40 --4 4 r~ I.-t.-. ., -K. - > + - * ) IlI -ft - T T )- T - DEVOED'TO "UTERNRIGHTS' ECRCY ~ Uj TO: 'OL uye - SU It a,9 VOL.II.SUMTERIVILLE,S.U., MAY 3, 1853. The mLanei;er and the Baby. ro was no one at home except b 6. 6ner, ind baby, and I. Ba b J~ist gone.to sleep, when ba bylu other ,remembered a trifling commission whiqh she had promised to execute. for me in the village. With aTijihjpction to touch the cra dle if the baby awoke, she departed, leaving me proud of my new employ m t n~d1 'lled by. past immunity idto'a state of fatal becurity: , Histo ry .i full of similar examples. With one eye on my book, and tho other6on the cradle, like a faithful watch dog, I listened to the retreat ing fQotfall .that should have warned me, but did not, 'look out for squalls.' Ihad no idea of the awful responsi bility which I had taken upon my self,- or I should have shrunk from it as icat does from' water, or a mastiff from auliadng machine. In fact, I~ tather suspect that I felt, in a tri 11ng 'degree, ambitious that baby shguid open one eye-only one--that I. might have the pleasure of shutting it'-again. -Unwary Mortal ! How little do we know when we are well off ! My ambition was but too soon to be gratified ; I had yet to learn by bitter experience how weary is the 14t.f'those who--tend to babies. A. othlder whether infants are con 14solous in their sleep of their mothor's absence, and know that an opportu nityhas-arrived for "cutting up their didoes ?" : . ..he baby over whose slumbers I ha-d becoine the guardian genius ho* the flies pitched into its nose ! - was.aw sound asleep as any body ieod be1:when its mother departed; g.. had ner shadow faded X t 06*y, than symptoms of tr ej h-6n.a eke, that aidasplain as chuckle could say, "Now for some fun;" then one eye opened and' shut, then both began peeping about, till the head seemed inchned to bob off the pillow. A felt a little nervous at these symptoms--only a little. "Pooh!" said I to myself; "a roll or two of the cradle will soon settle your business, youngster." But it did not. Baby was bound to have a spree. it knew that "its mother was out." That big, bothersome blue-bottle fly, too, tired of watching for the ship over the clock face, started on a voyage of discovery on its own account, and the first promontory which it reached *e-the nose of the baby, a tempting spot upon wvhich it landed for re freshment, buzzing most villanously as it did, so. : It was a ticklish land ing, however, and baby soon drove it off with. a sneeze that astonished its nerves, and mine, too, more than the fly's, for the fly was accustomed to ticklish situati6ns, which I was not. Baby was thoroughly roused. Up went its round, chubby arm; but a rock of the cradle soon sent that back to its place. I did rock that cradle beautifily. The little head rolled to and fro as easily as if it had been ~ ~t~istened on by a toy mandarin's neck. I could not help admiring myself for the way ir. which I did it, and I am sure that any reasonable baby would h ave gone to sleep again, if only for compliment's sake; but the baby in the crado didn't. The moment the rocking ceased, up popped the little head, like Judy's in the showv, with a small peevish cry. TIhat cry ! it was like the "fizzing of the fuse" of a powder magazine, sure to end in an ex plosion. "1Vere you ever roused in the mid-. die of the night by the maid of-all work coming in her slippers and night cap, to inform you that the house was on fire ? Didi you ever stand near a Dutchman who was weighing gunpowder with a lighted cigar in his mouth ? Did you ever stand over the boiler of a Mississippi steamboat, and expect every moment to be landed on the tree-tops half a mile inland ? If' not you cannot con ceive my florror when I heard that cry. I was in a cold perspirationi from head to foot. I have no0 doubt~l that hail stonos as lig as peaIrs miighit have b'een picked ofl myi~ foirehead. I rockeCd for dear life., and habhy bouined ai bout like ai ball of Indian-rubbehr. lIat I was allI ~' usele~ss, I sang all the s;ongs~ lhat I could1( think of, fromI~ the eahailistie '"1 inshaby !"' to "Cens, ru itl( ; rent.!"' j; tried' tenor, and I tried ba1s; but thei babhy dMd not know the dli'erenec. It s:eemjed to~ thlinik it all base.. TIhe loude'r 1;sn.the londer it cried. It was in the blue bottle's face, and sent the threads, on the carpets flying about. the robm. Even the clothes-brush and nutmeg-grater proved no attrac tion, and I broke a suspender button hopping about on all fours. 'If I had stood on my head, -and shook the pen nies out of my iockets, it would have had no effect. Even a lump of sugar would not bribe it to be quiet. It made wry face. at the mirror, and pitlhed savagely into the pillow, turn ed indignantly from the tea kettle, and squared off at the rolling-pin. IfI had given it the carving-knife, I do verily believe that it would have cut off its own head, and made two squalls in stead of one; I forbore. Give ine cred it for my magnanimity ! I forbore. For nearly a mortal hour-an age --was I thus kept in a state of frenzy. My hairs stood up "like quills upon the fretful porcupine." Thy have al ways stubbornly refused to lie down smoothly since. If mv trials had last ed much longer, I should certainly have had a "gray head upon young shoulders." Perhaps I should have sunk into the grave with a nervous fe ver, and had "Died of baby nursing" for an epitaph upon in)- toibstone. Fortunately for tile public in general. and me. inl particular, I was spared such a catastio)hie by the return of the mother, who bu rst punting into the room at the critical mo 'iimenut when iy .Job-like patience had iniiserable per ished, by degrees, as the water leaks fioi a brokenh-looped bucket. With what a lheli ng of relief did I look up it the old clock as it announced to tie, in its most, cheerful tones,"She's colie! she's comne!" Would you believe it?-but I'm sure you can't, the feiet senms too great nIl enormity-that little niece of perversity was as quiet as a lamb in Ia mjilite! Why the mother was so deceived, that she actually called it her "precious lamb!" I heard her, and was astounded. I wonder she didn't f'eul sheepish; I know I did. Lamb, in dueu! L' thaT, wan, bdg i laub, wiat would it b- w hen it beaitime muttu-n? WNly, it %%as fast asi-ep again in no time, and laughing inj its dreamuus ov or the 1ihn it Ial enij~oyed. Didn't I vow never to be caught alone with a baby again? If ever I am, may I beserlveI inl the saine imaner a gaini.-Lay's Book. From the New York Spirit of the Timeq. The YMajor's Fi-st Declaration. I always was,' said the Major, slowly filling his glass, what you might call 'a bashful mal' among the women. I am as bold as a lion with the men, but some how, when I find myself in the company of ladies, I feel my valor 'oozing out at no finger's ends.' I'ts a kind of consti tutional weakness of inire, decidedly provoking to myself, anid trouble. s, , o to my friends, and what's worSe, I don't get rid of it, and on this account aL was most likely that I lived to be twenty-eight, and had never made love to mortal woman. Well, about this time (when I had celebrated my twenty-eighth birth day) the Lid genitleinan (that is the Maijor's senior) had a claim against government that needed 'nursing,' and so ie sent w on to Washington to attend to it. Hie gave me hetters to several IIon. M. C's., with in structions niever- to stop worrying 'em until I got the bill piassedl; as this would probtably take some tim3, hie rcommtiee mc to a quiet board ing house,' where I woul find 'all the comfor ts of home,' cheerfully furnuished at the irate of five dollars a week. The boarders were numner ouis, but select, comprising, I was surprised to find, gnite a number of' claimants besides myself, and all e-qu ally sure of success. Bunt a most lovely vision, the very tirst day at diunner, piut all claims and claimnts out of my head.- Oh, what radiaii. breathing beauity! '1IThe i-use,' saidl the M ajr, fallinig into a poetic-al vein, the rose blended with the lily in her comiplexioni, and herItc eyes- Oh, hieav ents! I cannot dlescribmo heri eyes. lint there shte sat right .beforie ime, untd I had to stare at heri, do what I wvould. By Jove, may boy, just you fall in love right, off, at Iirst sight ,as I did, and sit -opposite your- inamo auta at dinner, anid---well you won' t eat much, I'll wairrant; any how I didn't that day. T1hat night I dint sleep nmuch either. I didni't know the lady's name, and I was too fear fuil of discovering my feelings to ask any one, but I resolved to wait pa tiently for an inutroduc-tion, 'Arnd then,' thinks I , 'I'll go in for her, that is if she ain't mlarr-iedl, and i'll win her too. I htad noticed at dinner that a p~alc, meek appearing little gentle man- wvho sat un',An han, Bemedi iy cry'peevish became the'cry indignant, and the cry indignant became the squall imperativA. Blue-bottle buzzed with delight, and danced a hornpipe on the window, while the Clock kept up a tantalizing "go it! go it!" In an unlucky moment, I lifted the little tempest out of the cradle. Never, never, never, will I commit such an act of thoughtless imprudence again ! Before I did so, I could have truly sung with the poet, " The white squall rdves;" but afterwards, the fiercest blasts of Boreas seemed belching from that little throat. In the hope of quieting the tornado, I took it in my arms, waddled it to and fro in the room; tossed it up and down till my shoulders ached; dandled it on my knee, now the right ond, now the left; but nothing would do. Like an easterly gale, that multiplied squalls seemed to bo- endless. I felt really alarmed. I wils oiompletely terrified. I saw visions of* convulsions and such like ills that intint "tlesh is heir to." If1 I ladbeei in t le city, I am sure that a crowd would have collected. I might have been takenti up and accused of an attempt to commit infanticide; perhapi been published in the papers as a wretch guilty of cruelty to dumb animals. Dumb ! How I wished that the dear family organ had been dumb! I even envied the deaf men that pick up cinderis. I looked at the clock and exclaimed. in despair, "W lien will the mother re. turn?" -and the clock answered with Irocking moniotonv, "Not yet ! not yet!" Blue-bot'le had ceased its huz zing, and returned to its old quarters over the dial-plato. to which-for the re appearance of the ship; perhaps asking, as impatiently -as I did, the question, "W hen wil1 she return ?" while the clock continned to repeat, unecasingly, "Not yet ! not yet!" I knew not what to do, and rushed a dozen times to ;he- door, loping to see the coming relief lint thze walls of tha distant -church and the houses. 1olhurdui th'em. Th'. lnook was laughing in the sun.hine, and mur muling joyously as it glided over the stones, and I felt a stroing teiitation to pop lie piping part of baby into it. I am sure the clock cried mockingly, "Do it,! do it!" But tile thiught, oi cr4iner'sjury restrainied ie; a coulintry iry of Dutch boors, with short pipies in their i monto hs, and skulls two lJayer's f b1rick thick. 'liere w i a rooster i up on the fi'ince. flappinig hte. wings and irowing like a Trojan-1 do believe it was over my perplexity; thI pigs were rrunting in theia sty, pulling each ot':Js ears fbr amu.4einent, and a cow was gving nourishment to her calf inl a distant field. Suddenly, a bright idea struck me. Iseized in old tobacco pipe that hadl been stowed awiy upon the man tel-piece. and, m inersing the billb itn a tumbler of water, thrust the stem into baby's ioLIth. Iliby was no genius. I became satisfied of that in a iinute. It is an attribute (it geniius to accoml plish its desires with iiiperfect instru Ients. Thero was no stoppage in the pipe. I tried it iayseif. I was at my wits, ends. and laid th' baby on the floor, eraminig my fil gets into my ears. I was of no use I could not shut out the sound. It wnas like a thou.and "ear piereing pipes' drilling mie throuigh anid thironiii. I was riddled with scr'eamis that toneh ed like galvanic wires on every nerve. T1hec elatter' of a three storyv cotton mill, with a hundred girls talking of new bonnets through the dIn, wais nlothing to it. All the locomnot ives in the Union, tortured into a state oit ag ony, would alone compautre with it. Bunt mill aid locomnotive mtighit, be stop) lped, and -baby could not lbe (iiietedl even for a miomeet. Any thing but a baby's lungs would haive been, worn out by such an abuse of power. ut their strength only incrieased, seemiiing tot acqmire newV pyes at every blast. W'hat woithll I not have given for thle sight~ of aL pettyc coat Iharinog dowu ni tu liy relief. N ever d(id Rob)linsou01 Crnt. su on his desert island gaze moure longingly over the oicean in search of a sail, thani d (id downt the roaid for a btonnict and cuiris. I could lhave smiled lovingly on the fattest dowager that ever sheltered in thle West lniesit, or the thinniiest scrubI t hat pays her devotions. to) the doo; steps. Iluit I he fenmiinte, like oitherd useful cotn.I.(di. ties, had all vaniiished, whenc iost. wanitedl. Ev.eni the ctit, acecostome id 10 ble cretue a disapptleaed. Like the dstresed hro o ainovel, I wa left to myi~ own' resour (ces, tand( had n resonirees left. Th.ri was t he baby flopping abot (on the tlouur like a pr (i a ship's deck, as it' lying on its heams endls was a ntoural Iposition. I righted it a dozen timeis, lint overi it wenit againi, as if' all its bal last had shtifted to thle head. I bi'ought the .tuhovel aind tongs antd thei betl :ws fromti the fire-place, but b~aby would't look at them, not. a bit of it: although i took the trotuble to blow the bellow his attentions likely to prove a riial, but I felt that if I could only zon quor my foolish timidity, iy Rcrton al attractions (here the iMajoT gave an approving glance at th oppoite mirror) would carry the day' The next evening I got an introduetin. CCaptain Brown,' (I Aas only Captain then,) said tho landhdy, 'allow me to introduce you.. to irs. Triplet'. 'Widow,' thinks I,4d I entered rather timidly into conversation". I felt all my old awvkwardnees return upon me, and so I lot her do all the talking, simply bccatifkeI had roth ing to say. At lengto a bright idea struck me. -4 'Madam', said I, 'those are beau tiful bracelets of yours,' ,(she woro a pair of braided hair.) 'Yes,' said she with a "i, it is the hair of my late husband. Poor man, he has gone-to a botio; home!' 'Ah! ha!' thinks I, 'a "idow for sure.'-Well, I redouble4 /my at tentions, saying 'nothinig iiobqdy,', so fearful was I of bg C.petea, and I even carried my :a"tion so far as at all times to avil--the -pres ence of the m.ck genUtigha; whose name even I did not -nquie after, and as we never happened to meet at an opportune inomeritr, got no introduction to him; and this state of things rather pleased me,'ana so the time passed away, till at length my bill passed also, and f must go. The evening previous ,to my departuro I concoeted abeautiful speech, in which, in choie )nguage, I offered my hand, liear and for tune, to the blooming vid4w. The next morning, assuming as brave an exterior as possible, (in fact, I believe I hadall t)6 outward bearing of the lion,). Idtgouloed. irto the parlor, and by gnod lkil found the iladly of my affebctions alone. Like a swimmer who plunges at once into the stream, I began my oration immediately on entering the roin. 'Madam,' said I. 'I hardly know in what terms to--to-(Iere the d- d queer feeling in the legs tha)t I always have when I am par ticularly embarrassed, came upon ine powerfully, and I lost all presence of nind.) 'The fact is,' said I, 'that I'm a going off in the mornin, and before 1 leave this spot, I-that. i (oh, Lord! how my head swamii.) You see'-(here I fell on my knees, and before she coild prevent me, seized both her handb.) 'The fact is-i love you -I do-upon iny word 1 do-I love you awfully-there's no use trying to hide it-and I c..: cure it- it's worse than fever and shakes- it is Oh, I hope you love me-do 10you?' 'Young man,' said a stern voice behind me, ' What are yvit saying to my wn d' 1 sprang upon iy feet in an in stant, and saw the meek little man stan.ding, black is a thunder cloud. belure ine. 'Whyv!' I cried, turning to the lady','1 thought you were a hidow!' 'Tis,' s aid she r'seetly, 'is Mr-. T p y seon husbnd. 'Well, said T, what did lie do?' hi, L~nrd!sii the Majorm, I don't know what het (lid, I lfainted. I recollee!t one0 mem'ber of Cion gress, who wans always riallying mec abouit our Coingressional Temper anece Socit g'. "Briggs,;"~ lhe used to say, "I 'm 'oin~ to jin1 your Tempranc So eiety as5 soonU as my. deijoh is emn., ty."' ]Rt just be.ore it becomes empjty he ablu rys fi lled it. aigain.i At onle time, wuardAs the close of' the session, he sai' I mn -"'I am go imng to sign the pledge when I gvt home--I amn in earnest,"' con. tiiinned lhe; "myii demiijuhmn is necarly~ eaqpty, and I am niot going to flII it amgait.".' lie spoke with such aim air (f se'riousness as I had noet bc 1ore observed,. amnd it impriesscd mze; so) I asked him what lie meanzt---what had chmaniged his fe'elinigs? who stated to me a fact that moi~re dleeply impressed and affected me, than any thinig I recolleet to have heard uipon t(no subject, in any tem. peirance speech I have ever hear-d or i-ead. "Ini my neighboirhood is a gen theman Of' mV neptautitance- well cdiu cated, who once had -.some- proper ty, but is now .reduced--"poor!- He had a beautiful and lovely wife, a lady of cultivation and refinement''L and a most charming daugbter. "This gentleman had become most decidedly intemperate in his habits, and had fully alarmed his friends in regard to him. At one tiu.u when a nunmoer of his former associates were together, they counselled as . to what could be done for him. "Finally, one of them said to L'.n, 'why don't you send your daughter a way to a certain distinguished school?' which ho named. "'Oh, I cannot,' said he, 'it's out of the question. I am not able to bear the expense. Poor- girl! I wish I could.' " 'Well,' said his friend, 'if you will sign the temperance pledge," I will be at all the expense of her at. tending school for one year.' ''What does this mean?' said lie -'Do you think me in danger of be Coming a drunkard?' S 'No matter,' said his friend, 'about that now. but I will do as I -said.' ''And I,' said another, 'will pay the rent of your farm a year, if you will sign the pledge.' 'Well these offers are certainly liberal, but what do you mean? Do you think me in danger of becoming a drunkard? What can. it mean! But, gentlemen, in view of your liberality, I will make an offer. I will sign it 'if you will!' 'This was a proposition they had not considered, and were not very well prepared to meet; but for his sake they said we will, and did sign, and be with them. 'And now, for the first time, the truth poured into his mind, .and he saw his condition, anidSiat ddwn bath ed in tears. ''Now,' said he, 'gentlemen, you must go and communicate these facts to my wife--poor woman! I know she will be glad to hear, but I caniot tell her.' 'Two of them started-for that pur. pose. The lady met them at the door, pale and trembling with emo tion. ' 'What, she inquired, 'is the mat. ter? What has happened to my hus band?' "'Thev id her dismiss her fears, as suring her they had come to brin ler tidings of her husband-but good tiding- such as she would be glad to hear. ' ' Your husba. d has signed thc temperance pledge---yea, signed ir 'The joyous news nearly overcome her--she trembled with excitemeni -wept freely, and clasping hei hands devotionally, she looked up t< Heavon, and thanked God for tht happy Change. 'Now,' said shie, I have a husband as lie once was, ir the days of our early love.' 'But this Ias not what mtvci meo,' said the gentleman. 'There wai in the samec vicinity another gen theman, a generous, noble soul-mrar ried younig-married well-into charming famnily, and the flower o it. Ilis wine-dlrinkinlg habits had a roused the feurs of his friends, and~ one day, whlen several of their 'lere tgther, one said to another 'eussign the pledge.' 'I will,i you will,' said one to another, til nil had agreedJ to it, and the think was done. 'This gentlemen thonght it rathei a small business, and felt a little sea sitivo about revealing to his wif< whr t he had done. But on return ing hiome, he said to her: 'Mary, my dlear, 1 have done what I tear will displeasge you.' ''Well, what is ii?' 'Why, I ha'-e signed the tam perance pledge.' '1 Iave you?' 'Yes I have certainly.' 'Watching his manner, as lhe re pliedl, and readling its sincerity, sht~ entninmed her arms around his neck, and lidi her head upon his bosom, and hurst into tears. 11er husband was afl'ected deeply by the conduci of his wife, and said: 'Mary, don't weep; I (lid aol know it would affliet you so, or J would not have done it; I will go and take my namen oftf immediately.' 'Take your name off!.' aaid she; '110, no! let it be there. I shall nowi no more solicitude in reference tc your becoming a drunkard. I shal spend no more wakeful mnidnigh' hours. I shall no more steepn m pillow in tears.' "Now for the fist timestruth shone upon his inind, and he folded to his b'osom his young and beautiful wife, and wept with her. Now, I can't stand. these facts, and I am going to sign the pledge.'-Speech of Gov. Brigg's of Lowell. Letter of a Turkiiia Fog y. The following atausing let;er, says the- New York Evening P'ost was written by a Turkish cadi to a travel ling frieind of Mr. Layard, inl reply to some inquiries about the commerce. population and antiquities of the city in which he resided, and which shows the writer to have been the rarest spe cimen of a fogy of which we have any knowledge. Whenever any one shall hiercaifter have occasion to show how a conservative runs to seed, writes and thinks, let him turn to the following letter from Judge Imaum. Ali Zadi, which Mr. Layard has kindly preserv ed, to illustrate the feelings with which his curious researches inspired the imperturbable Musselmen among whom lie was conducting ther. Ad dison never pointed a inore exquisite carricature than is embodied in this sober letter of the cadi, and no histo. rian has ever developed so compactly the philosophy on which the impene trable anthropomorphism of the orien tal civilizations rest: 13y illustrious Friend and joy of my Liver: The thing you ask of me is both diflicnlt and useless. Although I have passed all my days in this place, I have neither counted the houses, nor have 1 inquired into the number of the inhabitants; and as to what one person loads on his mules, and the other stows away in the bottom of his ship, this is no business of mine.-But above all, as to the previous history of this city, God only knows the amount of dirt and confusion, that the infldels may have eaten before the coming of the s cord of J,4na. It. werunprofitable for us to inquire into it., Oh my soul! oh my lamb I seek ia. after the things which concern' thee not. , hou camest unto us, and we welcomed thee; go in peace. Of a truth thou hast spoken many words, and there is no harm done, for the s)eaker is one, and the listcner an other. After the fishion of thy people. thou hast wandered from one place to another ntil thou.art happy and con tent inl none. We (praise be to God) were born here, and never desire to quit it. It, is possible, then, that the idea of. a general intercourse between mankind should niak" any impression on our understandings? God forbid. List-en, oh my son i! There is no wis doi equai unto the belief in Goj ! He createu the world and hu/l wt /i?-en ourselves unto himn in seeking to wse trate into the inyeteries of his ?.-tion ? Shall we say, Beheld We star spinneth round the star. aad this otlmi star with a tail goeth anmu cometh in so many y cars? Let it go! Ile from who.'e hand it c.,me will guide and direct it. But you will say unto mie, stand aside, oh ruan, for I am more learned than thou art and have seen nore thiogs. If thou thinkest that in this respect thou art better than I am, thou art welcome. I praise God that Iseek not that which I require not. Thou art learned in the things I care not for; ana as for t hat whmich thou han sen defile it. Wi/l nm:c knowledge create thee a double belly, or wilt thou seek Paradise with thtine eyecs ? Oh my friend ! lf t hou wilt be happy, say, there is nuot, God but God ! Do nto evil, and thums wilt. thon fe'ar neither man nor decathi, for surely thine hour will corne. TIhe Meek in Spirit (El Fakir.) IMAM ALiZADI." THlE NI~wSPAPER.--EoQUENT EXTRacT.--The followingr extract is taiken from a sermon delivered by the Rev. Dr. Adams of New York: 'Why is anything made public, but the beliof that it w ill be of interest to others? Why is it announced that Isaae and Rebecca were married on a certain dlay last week, but on the supposition that it will give you pleasure to know it. And then low. er down on the shoot, under the startling head of deaths, your eye runs along always with approhension lest it fall on some well knowi same, and readls that the aged father, thec young child, the beloved wife, the rich, the poor, the admired, tho hon ered, the bctuitiful are gone: as it is not taken for granted that ever strangers will have a sigh for the afflicted, and the world respond in sympathy to the incursions of a comn mon fe 'Read in this light, the commnonesi advertisements which crowd our pa, pers have a kindly order about them, Say not, with a Cynic eneta though you nvero doubtful whetha~ there was anything honest in the world,.when a store-keepe es his wares, that it is al: ishness, for it is 'Teasant 0er announce a fres . supply W, and wool, hard ware, or Wnuslins,'~a itK not just as pleasant for.: wishes to know it? When r e of young partners in trad T their virgin advertisement, in the world how happy they sh to wait on customers, caiyou without enterirg into their c reer? 'Business advertisements paper! You know not-WhO' Those ships which are to sail .4 ry harbor in the world-those which have arrived from evety e mercial mart on the earth, i' i from Russia, tea from Ch-1o from Georgia, sugarfromLis -do they ntOpireach to usa corners of the streets, at theiener in of the gates, in our docks,'ati our custom houses and exchen n" sermons on the mutual depekd of mankind?' J A ROMANCE IN REAL . find the following paragrap Utica Herald. They have a 'ih elements of romance, but are el ed as real incidents in the life of an tip happy man: Major Hicks, a keeper of tli& toll gate, on the plank road et e Riebland station and Pubteilak w found dead in his bed- on Thurs' day morning last. He probably 4 of apoplexy. He was a msie a ble old bachelor, and for years.ratt his house and *lived in . his barn, ia Pulaski. He lived alone, -epalated -- from syMpathy, and- leaving n'pl kce. y desolate in the social eircle- T. We knew the old .Major- wll was only week beforelast we wh standing in the door of his den-a e passed by. He looked the Y em- * bodiment of hard tim~esa d tion. -He was ingulan e married 'when quite young, :ad ter living with his wife' 3 1, left her and suddenly disappear d n one knew where. His.wife, after Iiv ing alone a number ofyearsisupposjpg 10m dead, solaeed her grief d i ab sence in a second marriage; ' 8e hd lived with he second husbandnt- J short time, when suddenly one day Ma jor "turned up," and elaimedhi spouse. The wife clung to henew lord the interlope was in desp'ii- thefa jor was inexorable. Aftex ainit lng an attitude of siege for'qnieo0A he proposed that if the speg U band would fork over ;O$ would leave them unmolsi ThI was granted, and the Major vainished a - second time. After squandirin' thi sum-which it took him buta iort time to do-he returned and :ren wed hostilities, I1e insisted uponot ' er 85,fiO0 as a condition of -Pru non:intervention. This a also ia lv granted. llaving'r oc ii' lfajor repented him of- lis ern e il course, joined the teMpen e ciety, and retired to 'sperdiati mainder of his days in solir eur. Ile myanaged V ihve 0'te in terest of this last $5,000 for th& past fifteen or twenty years. We re member when the Alajor ooke4'sleel and trim, and was regarded 'as. g~Ie . an oracle among schoolboga. and-' ' village idlers. But owing to- one or two demonstrations of' a rather sayage nature, hec had fallen into disgraee, and been rather s'hunned, if not fe'ared for somec years....-" Is CnIARATER.-The followinrn" using circlums.tance is stated toeha occurred at a fancy ball giveia inWa f.. ington City, recently. It was unnei stood that every person was fto ress in character, and an usher was fagon- f" ed at the door of thie saloon~te ani nlounce to the company within, 'the different characters as they entered. Two young ladids appeared at the d-* trance. "Your chairacters!" asked the. usier in a whisper. "We do not appear in cot to-night," said the two young ladies "Two young ladies. withnoi an ' characters," bawled o'ut the usher~,~ y~ thie top) of his voice. - 'oiu.s-r Os Eu.EGA4:E Foa Owig. ENs.-For prerin~(~fg the chinyls. 1b -teruperance. To preseveo the breath swc466a-s di. nonee fromu tobacco. F'or witeningiE the hand-hd6iesty. For the Moustaehe-thd m2aer Toremnove strins-rpeyinteiee. Easy shaixng soap-ready mioney. For improving the sight-uobserva tion. - A beautifiul ring' the family efIele. For inproving thq voice-ellity, The bess 66typanion at the toilet- - a wifeo. .To kepaway moths--go - To promnoto sleep-dispenm"lt the latch key.