University of South Carolina Libraries
r ,4 The Beaufort Tribune. " X VOL. II.?NO. 42. BEAUFORT, S. C., SEPTEMBER 6, 1876. $1.50 PER ANNUM. Warden, Keep a Place for Me. j AN INCIDENT OP PRISON I.IKK IN THE PENI- ' * I TENT1ALY. j Discharged again ! Yes, I am fieo, ' But, warden, keep a plaoe for me ; 1 For freedom means that I must go I Out iii the wind and raiu and suow, 1 To light with hunger, shame and oold? I A woman gray and worn and old; \ To clotho myself in rage again, And seek sorao wretched, narrow dull. 1 And after that what must be done ? _ Htoal ? Bog ? Hard linos for any one. To work is easier. I would try, But thero's no work for euoh as I. ] A flne thing, truly, to be free? But, warden, keep a place for mo ; For I'll como back. It's seven years Hitice first 1 entered hero in tears. 411)i unk and disorderly " I came, And folt tho burden and the shame, , The prison taint, the outlaw's dread When first behind bis hopeless tread Tho gates ciang to with dreadful sound j And the dark prison walls close round. Bat when I wont away I said : 1 " If I can earn mv daily bread I'll work toy fingers off before I'll wo&r a convict's drees once moro." Twiw easy eaid?I meant it too? Work ? Is tliore work enough to do I For tlioss who spend their weary livoa | Like toiling bees in busy bives, | And starve at la-tV When willing hands < That never hroko the law's commands ] Are idle by tliu thousands, how < Can jailbirds keep a virtuous vow ? No work, hut all the same I found , Tho time for meals would oomo around ; ( No work, but time enough to think, Aud that's the easy road to drink. Who eared, who o ros, that I was then 1 " Drunk and disorderly " again ? I Who earns that ever with tho host 1 I was a woman liko the rest V ' Who cares that one dsy in my life 1 I whs a happy, joyous wifo? 1 None rare, and I caro less than they, Aud curse the man and oureo tlie day. ' Ho v did 1 know that he would be A drunken scoundrel, dragging mo i Down in the mire? Alas, the life < e lod me ! Oh, the hitter strife ' 'Twilt lnvo aud ha'-e l lie went awav 4 Ai.d loft mo with royjjtile May ? My litllo child ! My little poarl! ? My protty brown < yod baby girl 1 Bah?that was only childhood's grace ! Mho gr< w np with her .fattier'* face. Her father's selfish, wicked heart; Qrew np to take an evil part; * Grew up to noil her mother's name < And cover it with double shame. Bnt I've a little baby drove? The one soft vein of tenderness That's ran through all these hatefnl years ? I've wet it many a time with toars, And many a time at dead of night I've clasped it to my bosom tight. What for? Because it moans for'mo A simple, sinless memory"; Because it means there was a time When I, now gray with want and crime, Old jailbird as I am to-day, Knew how to love and dared to pray. What did I do ? How conld I know That things wonld go against mo so? How could I help it ? Did I plan The fate that bonnd me to that man?? The bard, blind fate that dragged me down Among the wretches of the town?? That snatched away all hope, all ohance, And twisted every circumstance Against me, till at last I stood ^.. - Stripped of my very womanhood ? ' * * I could not daro to stop and think? Was it my fault I took to drink? No, I'm not fit for liberty It ain't a wholesome thing for mo ; The jail takes care of mo too well. Better to bo lookod up iu a cell, Whore all in oloau and sleep in sweet, Than roam Iho miaory haunted stroot; Better the work they givo us here Than what awaite mo when I'm olear; Better tho ailenco we must keep x . Than drunken criea and oaraea deep ; Better the dull days free from pain , Than shattered nerves and throbbing brain ; Better the quiet, sobor life Than youdor city's desperate strife ; Better the prison's homely fare, Better the prisou's watchful caro, Better for me than liberty? Bo, warden, keep a place for mo. ?Peleg Arkwrtght in Graphic. The Massacre of the Alamo. Tlio recent death of SAnta Adda recalls to miud the early struggles of the infant repnblio of Texan, when her Hoostons, her Grocketts, her Lamars, her Tr a vises and her Burnet* wero battling against fearful odds for the liberty and indepondenoe of tho yonng American settlement. Under tho leaderakin r.t II. i ' * di?i> wi mcmi ^uiiiiui uii'u, uuj monnanci j Texans, without organization, without a j regular army, n:?vy, national credit, or j even national recognition, carried on a 1 war with oight millions of pooplo, possessing almost unlimited control of men, < money aud material, and oommanded by < able leaders, with Santa Anna at their 1 head. The war was long, and mauy ] times doubtful, presenting many in- i stances of heroio effort, brilliant triumph 1 and glorious martyrdom. Tho brutal, 1 cowardly murder of Ooloncl Fannin's oommand, tho victory of San'Jacinto 1 * aud the massacre of the Alamo consti- i tilted thrilling chapters in the reoor 1 of < the young republic's achievements, i Few of these incidents possess ti more tragical iuterest than tho event known is the " Massacre of the Alamo." The details, however, of this bloody catastrophe are moagcr and unsatisfactory, rwo of tho ill-fated garrison only survived the horrors of the massacre, and their narratives, with the relnctant admission made by the Mexican butchers, ire all that has come down to us to give the story of the brave men's martyrdom, [t was the aim of the Mexican tyrant to place the seal of death upon tho lips of bis nuhappy captives, fnlly intending that not ono should live to tell tho bloody story. In January, 1836, Santa Anna, with a large army, commenced the invasion of the territory of the rebellious State. Tho little settlement called the volunteers hastily together to meet the threatsued danger. Colonel Travis, with a detachment of picked men, was sent forward to the town of San Antonio to watch tho movements and retard the advance of the enemy. Tho colonel had just arrived at his post and disposod his men for the nivlit. toIiph liia were violently attacked by tko Mexicans and driven in. A brief reconnoissance oonvinccd Colonel Travis that his enemy was vastly superior in numbers, and he accordingly withdrew his little force into a strong stone building in the outskirts of the town, known as the Alamo. This buildirg was constructed by the Jesuits lo servo the double purpose of a fort and slmrch, and was exceedingly well calculated for an obstinate defense. Its walls wero of stone, 190 feet long and 120 feet wide, anil fourteen small pieces of artilleiy defended its approaches. The place was supplied with water by two aqueincts which led from the San Antonio river to tho interior of the works. It was iu this inclosure that Oolonel rravis withdrew his littlo army and awuitod the Mexican attack. In the meantime tho men were employed in strengthening the fortification, throwing up new works, and practicing the artillery, which was so successful that the gunners obtained a perfect range of svery foot of ground commauiled by their guns. Colouol Travis, however, felt tho insufficiency in numbers, and resolved to Mill for aid. He tbcroforo prepared a stirring appeal, which a trusty scout sairicd t-ately through tho Mexican lines aud published in the Mexican newspaper-. Iu tho meantime tho Mexican army Irow three lines of investment closer around the little fort. Fresh troops were pouriug into his camps, now batteries sprung up in every direction, aud a cordon of offensive works nearlv an circled the doomed garrison. The bombardment was constant, and grow more furious every hour us batteries multiplied and new guns were placed iu position. Travis continued to sond scouts through the enemy's line with the ndIrcss, and on the morning of the first >f March, Captain John W. Smith, with ;birty-two men, cut his way through the Mexican lines and joined the garrison, ivhioh increased the effective force to me hundred and eighty men. Day after day, without an hour's cesjatiou, the Mexican artillery thundered ipon the little fort. An assault was iaily threatened, and the little garrison was kept constantly under arms, ready & repel any attack, and the exposure told fearfully upon their strength. Soon the stoutest heart begun to realize that I e feat ami destruction were inevitable. The Mexicans had hoisted the black flag is an assurance that no quarter would bo given, but not a mau quailed, each resolviDg to die as boeame a Texan put riot. On the fifth of March Colonel Travis idi tressed a last appeal to the country, m l sent it through the Mexicau lines luder cover of darkness. Ho said: *I am still here iu as fine spirits as jo ltd 1>? expected, with one hundred m l eighty men. I liavo hold the place ton days against more than thirty nines onr number, and I will continuo ;o hold it until I get relief from my jountrymen, or will perish in the deenee. The blaok flag whioh is borne by .he enemy gives token that the light is o be one of extermination against rebels." This address hail boon preparod early 11 the evening, approved by all the oflisers, a number of copies made, and one if the most skill ful riders in the oommnnd had volunteered to * carry it ;hrongh tho enemy's linos. The night Eras dark, and a thrilling storm of rain uid sleet wan falling, when the conrier mounted, and gave the parting words to lis comrades, Colonel Travis standing jesido him, with folded arms, looking iteudily to the right, where the long incs of Mexican camp Ores blazed in iho darkness. "Good bye I" criod tho messenger, is he prossed the flanks of his horse, and sounded away. "Wait a moment," cried Colonel Travis, suddenly nwuking from his reverio. " Wait a moment. I want to lend ono more lotter." He sat down and rapidly wroto a brief ettor to an iutiinnto friend, sotting forth their desporato condition, tho dauber of massacro, and closed with this message. " Take care of my little boy. If the jouutry is saved, and I survive tho prosint peril, I may yet make him a splendid fortune ; but if the conntry should be lost, aud I should perish, ho will havo nothing left but the proud recollection ;hat he is the son of a man who died for nis country." These were the last words ever written liy the gallant colonel, and tho letter was for many years cherished by tho nrplianod boy us one of the most valued relics of his lamented parent. Meanwhile tho bombardment was progreasing but slowly, and tho Mexicans grew impatient. Their overwhelming strength, tho weakness and exhaustion of tho garrison, and their greed for speedy revenge, prompted an immediate assault, and Sunday, March 6tb, 1836, was chosen as tho day for carrying tho purposo into execution. The unusual activity in tho Mexican camp attracted tho attention of Col. Travis at an oarly hour in tho morning, and ho at once concluded that au assault was intended. Tho little garrison was stationed in tho most advantageous manner possible, and tho colonel delivered a stirring address, exhorting them all to do thoir duty, and die as became a peoplo worthy to bo free. Tho men responded with cheers, and held a hurried consultation, at which it was unanimously agreed to light until tho last man, and when no further resistance was possible, it wan agreed that tho survivor should liro tho magazine and all perish together. At sunrise tho enemy swarmed out from behind their works, aud tho long lines of assault formed almost within musket range of the walls of the Alamo, and completely enveloping the little fortification. The cavalry was formed in the rear of tho infantry, with drawn sabers, and orders to cut down all who faltered iu the advance. Under cover of a heavy fire from thoir batteries, tho dark columns moved forward to the assault?four thousand arrainst ono hundred aud eighty ! On, on, cauio the dnrk lines, n steady fire of musketry flashing from their ranks; but the silence of death reigned within the Alamo. Ammunition was scarce, and the brave defenders were instructed to wuste few shots ; but when the enemy came within easy range, the artillery, charged to tho muzzle with grape, opened upon them, and the unerring rifles of tho Texans poured a torrent of bullets into the midst of the advancing troops. Theso murderous discharges tore through their ranks, sweeping down whole companies at every discharge. The dead encumbered the path of the advancing column, but urged on by the remorseless cavalry behind, tho bleeding lines stumbled over dead and dying, and reached tho very foot of tho walls. But tho nearer they came, tho more deadly becamo the effect of tho Toxau flre, and tho slaughter increased, nutil, despite the cavalry in their rear, thev broke and fled in confusion to their camps. Santa Anna now hastened to tho field in person, reformed tho beaten columns, and they were again driven forward, only to bo again hurled back with frightful slaughter. As the storming column fell back, the exhausted Texans ceased their lire, and for somo minutes a painful silence rested on tho bloody field, broken only by the moans of the woutided men, who lay thick upon the grouud without, over which the assailing column h id passed. It was fondly hoped by the besieged garrison that the fiorcest of the struggle was over, but they were disappointed. The voice of command was soon heard from the Mexican lines, officers were seen hurrying to and fro, gathering tho remnants of their beaten regiments, and tho nearly exhausted garrison prepared for a final struggle. Success was almost hopeless. Tho excitemont and exertion had left them weak and prostrated, Boveval of their best men had fallen, and but a few rounds of ammunition remained. But their firmness was unshaken. They removed the dead, provided us best they could for tho woundou, and then renewed their pledge to stand by oncli other to the last, and never surrender while a single defender remained. On c:imo tho dark lines of tho enomy, driven forward asboforo by tlio remorseless cavalry and the threats and entreaties of their officers. It was the third and linal assault. Thoy struggled through the sumo storm of bullets, only less severe, us tho number of brave men had beeu sadly reduced; but tho yawning gaps wore quickly closed up, the living pressed forward to till tho places of the dead, and tho terrible column swept to tho very foot of tho wall. With a shout of exultation, fuller of vengeful hate than the whoop of an American savage, they planted tho sealing 1 adders, and, maddened with excitemout and frenzy, swarmed over the fortifications upon the struggling pa triots, and commenced the butchery. There was no giving way, no stops backward, no cry for quarter. Though as one to ten, they continued tho fight with clubbed muskets, and died shout ing for Texas. Tho bravo Colonel Trnvis was almost tho first to fall after au entranco was effected. "God savo my oountry, aud bless my boy," were tho last words ho uttered. The death work was tapid, and in five minutes scarcely a dozen Toxaus were loft alive. Seeing this, Major Evans hastcuod with a lighted torch to fire tho magazine us had been previously arrunged. Ho reached the spot, ami was on the point of npplyiug tho torch, when ho waH riddled with bullets. Tho half dozen who now romained were overpowered, disarmed, and the capture of the Alamo was complete. Th6 bound captives wero carried into tho presence of Santa Auna, who heaped upon them every conceivable insult, aud finally ordered them to bo taken outside the camp and murdered. Among the prisoners was the celebrated David Crockett, who was captured with his oolobrated rifle, " Betsey," which had boon tho gift of a club of Philadelphia. Tho order was brutally executed, and Mrs. Dickinson, wife of Lieutenant Dickinson, one of the officers, her infant child, a sorvant of Colonel Travers, an* two Mexican women who were employei by the garrisou, were all who remaine of the one hnndred and eighty who ha< fought so gallantly for Texan libertj But they were not unavenged, for befor the walls lay the bodies of tivo hundrei and twouty of the onemy, while eigh hundred and fifty more lay wounded i their camps. Thus fell the Alamo. In two houi from the first signal of assault, all wa ovor. It was Santa Anna's last triump over Texas, for in less than two month General Houston won tho battlo of Sa Jacinto, and tho Mexican butcher cam a trembling captive into the patric camp to beg for the prolongation of life liis crimes*had many times forfeited Iu tho churchyard at San Antonio is plain small granito stone, orectod by pr vate parties, bearing the inscriptioi " Sacred to the memory of those wh fell at tho massacre of tho Alamo." A Walking Dry Goods Store. luujr turtuopuuuuui. wrnmg iroi Paris says : Thoy have a Dew way c , wearing their veils. They tie them o the back of the hat with a largo orm i meut, the shape of o shell, thon tie thei around the neck and fasten them on tb left side. Tho effect is odd and couspi< uous. It originated at tho races, whei one of tho fair but frail sisterhood st tho example. It requires a great quai , tity of tulle to carry out tho offect of thi eccentric yet contagious mode. * * Imagine a single uudergarmeut of a lad costing 820 for plain silk and 830 fc embroidery, and oven with this coetl i necessity a modest woman would scarc< ly dare present herself to her husbunt I could scarcely bolievo thero were wive who indulged iu such luxuries, but m doubts were soon turned into etrou convictions. I was at the house of th Countess M., a charming la ly of woalt] and position, who iu a frieudly way at m it ted mo to tho privacy of her drest iug-room. When she completed he bath tho lirst thing she put on was a Oriental bath wrapper which coat 810C I expressed so much curiosity at her ej travuganco that she said : *' Wait au see how much I'm worth when dressed, and, as a matter of course, I too! note of her personal adornment as sh dressed, and givo it as a moreopitomo c how much money may be spont iu Iuj uries. Her chemiso was pale blue sill .l.ll,, 1 -mi. liviii j uuiuiuuiuiUU Ail WU1M3 DI1&, U hand work and Franr ValonciounoR laco, cost If Liuon drawers, laco, cost I Underskirt, richly liued ? Satin corset. 12 Wlrito skirt, with laco IS Black si Ik dross IK] L>ace collar and sleeves 3f Laco white point barbe It] Hair ornaments in shell IS Satin boots, embroidered C Silk hose, embroidered 3 Gaiters, gold clasps 4 Handkeicbiof 13 Fan, vinaigrette IS Diamond rings, only two 1,4.'\ Diamond solitaires ... 5,0C Qat, veil, parasol, and cairiage shawl 1,1>0 Hero was tho pot ito brunette dresse plainly, yet as she stood sho was wort! in dry goods and jewels (oinittiug he bracelets) over 8*2,000 in her prouienad costume, not to mention hor other toi lets. Worth has some lady clients win spend $12,000 a year for dress alone. The liight Time to Get Married. One of the things which yonng peopl seem to be the most anxious to know, i ? ?- ?*- ?? - KUO ll^Ub blLLLU IU uiurrieu, a some of them put it. Tlio great majority of young peopl ore poor, and get comparatively smal wages. They naturally suppose that i they get married it will cost more to liv than it coHts them while they are single So the question with them is: Shall w marry while we are young and poor, o wait till wo get older und hotter off And that is the real question in thei minds when they inquire as to 14 th right tirao to get married." Th're can bo no rule laid down o this subject which will tit all case? Some people are naturally so indiu trious and thrifty that they will gc along under almost any circumstancef Others aro so lazy and shiftless thfl they cannot get along under any circuu stances. The right time for the firs clans to get married is whenever the choose to do so, while the right timo fo the other class to get married seldoi comes at all. A young couple who truly love enc other, and are willing to work hard an live economically, and pationtly buil up their fortune little by little, ma safely send for the clergyman as soon h it may be convenient. But youug pet pie who are lazy and extravagant, au caro more for show than for solid we fare, nlinnlil wait, fill m.nnii'o *?<?i rent notions of life and thrifty habits bi foro marrying. "Private." Abont two o'clock one afternoon citizen climbed the stairs leading to. Detroit lawyor's ollioo, pushed open th door with an impatient slam, and augri ly inquired : " Why didn't you call 01 mo as requested ? ' "Call on you? didu't know that you wanted to sc mo," was the surprised reply. "I left not) on your table an hoar befor noon." ; ontinuod the citizen. " It wa inclosed in an envelope, directed to you aud I wrote tho word 4 private ' acros the end." "Thnt explains it," said th lawyer, sinking back in his chair. " M wife came down hero this morning, s*o tiiat letter, and I'll bet she wasn't th fifteenth part of a second putting it int her pocket. 1 hope yon wrote a larg hand aud signed your full name." A Old Sol as a Thief Taker, l| Whon photography was in its youth, . an artist in that lino went ont with his , instrument, and plates, and baths, on a ' bright, sunny day, for the purpose of , taking photographic views of some ol l, tho more wild and romantic of the forest n scenery of Fontainebleau. Having found a place wild and picturesque enough to suit him, ho set his tripod, and plaoed his camera, and, having got his focus, . he prepared a plate and inserted it. B When he deemed that ho had caught _ the sylvan vista and glade, ho removed tho plate to his little dark box, whore ht . was subjecting it to the necessary chemi 1 cal manipulations for "developing" and I " tiling," whon ho experienced an un * ceremonious tap upon the shoulder. _ Upon raising his head and looking " around, ho found himself confronted bj ^ a gigantic specimen of the sanx-culott, who, in a very rough and peremptorj way, demanded of him his purse. The photographer was a small man, an.i unarmed, and, as a matter of personal safety, ho drew forth his purse, n The lobber took it, and having seen thai >f there was gold in it, he made off into the n forest, without oven stopping to returr i- his thanks. n Tho artist, as soon as he could coiled o his scattered senses, returned tohisglasc 3- picture, or " negative," and found that e its development was perfect. But? ?t what is this ? Holding the plate up bei tweeu his eye and the light, ho found is that he had caught the picture of a man * who liad been lurking in the coppice, y Tho face v,as in full view, and perfect? ?r the fuco of tho man who had robbed J him! Tho rascal had been lurking in i- tho wood, and had held still while the I. artist bad linen liinkitic flint wnv. 0 ?? * -J As quickly as possible lie returned tc y Foutaiueblcau, whero ho printed a line g proof from his plate. Then he repaired e to the commissary of police, and having h related liiH story, he exhibited his photoI graphic view, with the likeness of the i- robber. r Tho police knew the man. and on the Q following day he was arrested, and the 1- photographer's pnrso found upon him. i- . ? A Flirt's Experience. k The proprio or of a summer hotel near 0 New York had a very singular export ric 11 co recently. Among his guests were 1 a middle aged widow and her married i, daughter and husband. Ho was im11 pressed with the idea that he had Bornewhero seen tho widow before, but could ... not tell when or where. Finally, making >0 inquiries about her, it appeared thai fjj pIio formerly lived in New York in a lo|5 cation formerly very fashionable. II Is appears that the landlord was an old beau of the lady, and they were onco en10 gaged to be married, but she was a greal JJj Hirt, and the gentleman became offended j3 at some action of hers, which he regarded id as iudiscreet. He went to Europe, and o on his return was informed that the young woman was dead. Under this impression ho forgot all about her. K) Strangely enough the woman, about the 10 same timo, married and removed to Cinciuuati. During a subsequent visit to ^ Now York she was likewise informed that her former lover was deceased?a circumstance quite na' ural, as the papers reported the drowning of a man of the same name. Ho married and became a widower. When the meeting occurred, and he had made himself knowD, the woman could hardly believe her own senses. Each party imagined the other e had risen from the dead, but the ao8 quaintanoe thus revived has been a 8 happy one to both, and the boarders aro remarking the singular fondness of the e widow for the landlord. The explanaI] tious whioh followed only intensified the f new attachment, and it is supposed a 0 wedding will be the result. i. (> The Barber Shop of the Future. r A Detroit barber has been thinking, ? and planning, and dreaming, and in his r mind's eyo ho sees what can bo brought 6 about as soon as he has earned the mouey to pay the bill : n t r ~ ? ii -i ? lie hucb u luiee ntury uuruef nuup oil ' the corner, with elevators carrying the J" unsbaved from floor to floor, and sendiug them down again. Billiard rooms, ' a gymnasium, a summer garden, and a ^ dancing hull are in the plans. A silvor fountain throws streams of cologne water to the ceiling. Tho bary bor chairs have nickle plated legs. The 'r razors have handles of solid gold. The n walls are mirrors, in which tho happy faeo of the proprietor is reflected ten h thousand times. A hand plays soft, sad d strains. Angelic whispers float throngh d spaco. Unseen silvor fans oool the brow y of each customer. While he is being w shaved his boots are blacked, a ten dol>* lar bill is slipped into hi? pocket, perd fume thrown over him, and a tailor I* measures him for a suit of clothes which - is not to oost him a cent. As he goes >* out he is given a ticket to tho opera, a lottery ticket, a new silk hat, a gold headed came, and a stem winding watch, and if ho offers to pay for the shave, n tho proprietor of the shop softly replies: "If you has been made happy, do grand oojeoK am nccompusueu. ' a Increase of Neuralgia. I Neuralgia iu tlio faces and heads of o women is on the increase, as compared a with the number of instances of the diso ease among men; and this is believed to s be due to the inferior protection affordi, ed by the mode in which women now is cover their heads. It is not only one of o the most common of feminine maladies, y but one of tho most painful and difficult iv of treatment. It is also a eauso of much o moutul depression, and is regarded by o physicians as leading moro often to habe its of intempernncc among women than any other disease. Facts and Fancies. The scale of joatioe is the weight of i the world. A hearty man will grow round on square meals. Liobscs are profitable which cause men to be saving. The course of a bark at sea is shaped by the dog star. The signature on a promissory note is a sign of promise. When the heat increases the thermometer rises to explain. The man who can deceive himself onght to be perfectly happy. Lightning struck a Pennsylvania oil well and increased the flow of oil from ten to eighty barrels a day. r Steel ropes are being introduced on TCncrlish mon-of-war m mhiiHtntM for r the clumsy hemp hawsers now in use. A cow was found standing stark and 1 stiff in a pasture in Maine. She had been struck by lightning, killed, but . not thrown to the ground. I Mrs. Garr, of Quebec, hanged herself t with her false hair. Tne coroner's verdict was said to have been that the Carr . was demolished by a misplaced switch. Said a Denver prisoner to his honor : "You've sent mo up every summer for four years, and I've missed the fourth of July every time. Now I want you to make it short this time. Make it so I get out before the fourth. This is tho last Centennial I expect to spend on earth, and I don't want to spend it iu jail." " Are the eggs poached?" inquired a customer of a restaurant keeper. " Yos, sir," replied the keeper. "They are? that is, the chickens that laid them [ were." A voung scapegrace, notorious for his pranks and practical jokes, who came of > age the other day, ^woke the family at midnight by loud crtes of " Man in tho house I" 1 "Wherever.I go," said an elderly traveler, the other day, " I find men wearing out their old olothes and hats ; but the ladies, almost without exoeption, . havo brand new and expensive dresses." Those three Chinamen who took a watermelon home and oooked it say that they feel able to worry along on - rice a short time longer without fooling - with any more new fangled arrangements 1 in tho vegetable line. The Gatholies in Boston have wisely : decided to discontinue the hiring of car; riges for funeral processions, ezoept for ' the chief mourners, and to giye the 1 money which a costly funeral requires ' to the widow and children. 1 Nevada's population is not more than [ 60,000, and yet the Legislature numbers [ seventy-five, or one to every eight hun) drod inhabitants. Fot long since it was i estimated that one out of every fourteen voters was a candidate for office. ' At one of the great hotels of Ohioago the waiters politely hand each guest a morning paper after he has given his order for breakfast. This keeps about sixty papers moving around for three hours or so, and pays in popularity more than it costs. A French physician says that one-half of the so-called drowned persons are buried alive, and that they might be resusoitated by proper treatment after being several hours under water. His suggestion is the injection of alooholio stimulcnts, whipping energetically, and a hot iron in bad oases. The czar of Russia has abolished public executions, which have hitherto been preoeded by an exhibition of the oonuemed criminal on a black cart with a placard round his neck throughout the prinoipal streets of the city, besides a parade for ten minutes under the gallows. In future executions will be within prison walls. A lire in Hamburg, Germany, destroyed the large theater called the Central Halle. Itbeing Sunday, and the weather favorable, the theater and gardens were 1 crowded, and when the fire broke out a paoio was created, women fainting, and children cryiug piteously ; and about a dozen people were orushed and burned to death. Several of the ballet girls and somo of the actors were severely burned. It iB the boast of Lydia Tetreau, of Washington, Mass., that in thirty-seven years of married lifo she has given birth to twenty-five children?ten boys and fifteen girls?with but one pair of twins. Sixteen are living, two having died in infancy and seven after getting their growth. The grandchildren already number thirty-three. Mrs. Tetreau was one of a family of sixteen, and married at that age. Preventive of hydrophobia in dogs : Boil three table spoonfuls of salt and an ounce of carbolic powder in a pint of water, squeeze a iomoo, ana men let a ? piece of meat simmer in the mixture to give it attractive taste. Take oat the meat and put the liquor in a cool plaoe. Then while the remedy is cooling, lead tho dog rut behind the barn and shoot him between the eyes with a Remington rifle. One pint of the liquor will be found enough for one handled dogs. The Paris Figaro recites a story in praise of the politeness of a leading actor in Paris. He is a capital swimmer, aud was displaying his skill in the beine, near Paris. A lady walking on the bank was ho lost in admiration of his grace and style that she fell unawares into a ; little ditoh. In a moment the aotor wan > ont of tho water, and clad in his simfetey^ ' bathing costume as he rushed to her as sistanoe, exclaimed, extending his dript ping hand to help her up again : "Pray, madam, excuse my having no glove 1"