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% THE TRIBUNE. ; . -;:y ?. ,:> ' ;i r ' tOL I.-m 8. BEAUFORT, S. C.. JANUARY 13. 1875. $2.00 PER ANNUM. The Two Lovers. The love tliut will soonest decay, r Tlio love that is surost to die. The love that will hoou fly away. Ih the love That is told by a sigh. i The love that in sorest to last, The love that a woman's heart needs. The love that will bo kept last. Is tho love That is spoken in deeds. THE GOLDEN RI LE. " Bridget, hand mo my handkerchief." " Yes, ma'nin, tlio one with tho lace border(" "That's all, Bridget; you uoedu't wait " So Bridget obeyed this order, too, go- f itig down the throe pairs of stairs to the < basemont kitchen, and back to her task of polishing the silver. "Oh, dear, how forgetful I am! giv- ' big myself the trouble of ^ringing twice. * I think bell pulls, if they are old-fash- * ioned, are a great deal more convenient J hinrkuobs, Cousin Augusta." 1 . att< - ' The good-natured face looked in at the J bedroom door again, flushed with hurry- * ing up the stairs the fifth time within an ? hour. " O Bridget, my work box ; it's in the * end room on the sofa. Can't you find it? A Well, look in Cousin Augusta's room ; I c had it there yesterday morning." There are two long lialls and a flight of 1 stairs between the rooms ; but Bridget, ' ( a young Irish girl, with a slender figure, ? showing rapid growth, and not much ( strength to sustain it, hurries away, for i * it is high time the dining-room was in order. The mantel clock warns her the \ ' mnclieon-table must be ready in threequarters of an hour. 44 How long Bridget is! I must have left the work-box there, in plain sight; but the Irish lire ho stupid !" exclaimed the youug lady, with increasing impatience. 441 do not remember seeing it this morning," Mrs. West said, quietly. 44 Bridget!" ! 44 Yes, ma'am ; I'm looking, but I don't find it" ? 44 Stupid creatine ! It's almost one, I declare. I shan't have ten minutes to sew ; but the box might as well be found. Bridget!" And a stamp of the slippered foot emphasized the last call over tho banisters. 44 It isn't there, ma'am," said the girl, - appearing from below; 44I'vo looked everywhere." She could not help thinking Miss Don- i forth unreasonable ; and there was the iuivot i_yiii{? un me Kiicnen-table, and the J marketman, and grocery lniy, and dust- 1 man, coming and going perhaps. But 1 to have vented her impatience and un- * easiness, as Miss Danforth did, by even ' an altered tone of voice,would have been i considered as impertinence, and perhaps 1 led to dismissal. Yet Irish waiter girls ' are only human, and have not high breed- ! 1 ing to help them control their tempera. "I declare, Bridget, you don't earn your salt! Look in the Hue chamber 1! somewhere, can't you/ Don't answer 1 mo back again ; no impertinence, miss ! ! t What if you have looked ! Look again ; v keep looking till you fliul it." No wonder Bridget mutters a threat of j * giving a womiug, as the clock strikes the 1 half hour. 2 '4 Isn't tliis it on the dressing-table, \ Bridget i" suggested Mrs. West, looking i searchiugly around the room herself. 4 4 Thank you, ma'am ; it is, indude." t And a grateful expression came into her 11 largo gray eyes. 44 Miss 'Ginia towld 1 mo tho end room." ! * 44 Never mind what I told you. 'Twos ! * your place to hunt for it until it was J found somewhere. And don't let me ( hear any more of your impertinence when * I tell you to do anything." Tho soowl eumo back to the girl's face * as she hurried away to her work again. ' 44 Bridget"?Miss Danforth's head was ! 1 over the banister now, the call arresting j 1 tho girl iu tho lower lxu.ll?44 got Mrs. i f West's lunch as soon as possible, and : bring mine up here. I haven't more f than time to dress before Miss Powell j } comes," she said, looking back, apologetically, to lier cousin. " You won't 1 mind huicliing alone, will you? I've i * been so hurried all the morning. Callers seem to put everything back." 1 "I? Oh, not in the least. I was only i tliinking, Virginia, if you had not almost j 1 as much time to go down for your lunch t as Bridget has to bring it you." 1 *' Her time's no consequence," returned ; 5 the young lady, carelessly. " Did you ] . seo now impertinent the crc&turo was? j j Bervauts all are nowadays." It Mrs. West said no more in the defense. ! ] While the toilet proceeded, the luncheon i was dispatched, and then came a mes- 1 sago from Miss Powell, instead of herself i and carriage, saying she would not bo j able to keep lier engagement before Fri- j day. Miss Virginia was highly indignant and vented her annoyance in no i measured terms. " If there was anything sho did liate, | it was peoplo who did not keep their engagements ! Why couldn't Caroline i Powell have discovered she should not get away, and sent her word in time to save her the trouble of dressing and wait- , mg nail an Hour ? Some people did not i seem to liave the least consideration ! And i what on earth was she to do with herself in full dress the whole of the afternoon ? The sun was too hot to walk; there were three hours to dinner time; she couldn't take a nap, and liave the trouble of dressing her hair over twice I" Mrs. West, as before, considered silence the wisest opposition. She read | away very cjuietly until her young hostess I had laid aside her flounoed silk and rich t laces, and settled into something like composure, with the work-box and a strip of oambrio she was elaborating into a wavy iusertiou of broderic Anglaiae. i Her own sowing?a set of handkerchiefs or her husband?was then resumed, and he two ladies chatted on indifferent :opica very amiably, until MiHs Virginia 5ame round to the favorite subject with SVw York housekeepers?prevalence of >ad servants.. "If I had only known what I was uu- j lertaking when I persuaded papa to go ;o housekeeping, I would have boarded ; ;o the end of time. New York servants i ire the laziest, stupidest, most iuiperti- i lent set you can imagine. You Pliilalelpluans have no idea of it. I envied fou, I declare; I told papa when I came lome that everytliing in your house went >n like clockwork. You had a specimen his morning of my troubles." ' I don't see why your servants should i >e any worse than ours; they are of the j <ame eouutrv. and have the same amount ! >f education generally." 44 Wliy, you keep your servants so j oug, they get into your way of doing j hings. Here I've changed our cook | liroe times in five months, and Bridget's I lie second waiter girl since the first of j May. Maria broke everything, aud the i nore I scolded the more careless she was. I [ did not know then that it was customary :o stop all breakage out of their wages; | uul when Mrs. Hamilton told me so, I j bund that it could not be done without j he agreement was made when the girl j vas hired. The girl before Maria was i inly nice about herself. She had superb lair, and it was always dressed as much ' is mine is for an evening party. She ! sopied me in everything, and I could not i itaud that. I admire the English fashion if servants wearing calico dresses aud ;aps; don't you ?" 4 4 My servants geuerallv do dress plaiuy. No, I can't say I do like caps on pouug girls; so that their dross is suitable /O their work, I don't know that we have my right to interfere with it." 44 Not if your Marianne should under- j .ake to copy you ?" 441 dare say she does in some measure; [ have uever noticed particularly. All >f us naturally copy those we are asso iated with constantly, if we think their asto aud judgment superior to ours." 4 4 Yon take things very coolly, Cousin Yugusta," Miss Hyde said, pausing to jass her needle through an omory Sllallioil- sicllilic IIS silo di?l Uf. flint ???_ mliar nigli that seems to give out the mpression of much enduring, long-suffering patience under unavoidable ills. 141 wish I could. There's Jane; just see 1 vliat sewing she puts into papa's shirts, uul it's as much as I dare do to tell ! ler of it, she Hies out so; and the cook, | fou must have noticed yesterday that i here was no bread sauce with the game. Papa would just as lief not have it at all is without. She knows perfectly well. We lad her sister last summer, and she w:is j ;lie most wasteful ereaturo you ever did ice. I never should have known it; but 1 bint Lane paid me a visit, and under- < ;ook to set things to rights. She found i ler lighting her fire with butter one uorning to save trouble." ] 44 Butter f" \ 44 Yes; she rolled up a coue of paper, uid filled it full of good pastry butter to . nake the wood kindle in a hurry. Oh, j hat's very common, I've heard since, , vitli lard. Ann carried things a little \ artlier tlikn usual. She had very gen- \ eel ideas. We left her in care of the , louse when I wont to Newport, and ] VIrs. Cashing, who lived opposite, you mow, said she used the parlors just as I | f I'd been at home, and lighted tho gas 1 or-lier company. She must have en- I | ertiiined them well, too, for there wasn't | i thing hi the store-room when we came lomo. But tliat's nothing to the trouble Mrs. Cusliing had herself. Why, do you mow, her waitor man, and cook, and , French nurse, ull gave warning in one lay! Mademoiselle had her dinner in j lie nursery when this cook came; one of 1 he cliildren was sick. So the cook had , lie head of the second table, aud re- ] u?wii to give ii up. jonu iook alarm's j , mrt, tuul wouldn't curve unless she nut' \ jpposito to him. Did you ever hear mything bo ridiculouH ?" ] "'High life below stairs,' certainly," j mid Mrs. West. "Isn't Mrs. Cuslung .hat very fashionable lftdy who called ! , rimrmlay, and talked so much about ; | Paris bonnets and gaitera i I think she j , uiid alio sent out for all her gloves." '' Yes, that's Mrs. Cushing. She does ! :alk a little too much about ' when I was j u Paris.' Papa ridicules her for her ! foreign airs. Marie was a most valuable tervant, she got up muslins so beautifully; aud that's a great deal nowadays, i Jlio knew Mrs. Cushing could not re- , l>laoe her. That's another tiling ; if you jet a really good servant, they presume. *o. There's Bridget, I would not keep lior a day, she has such a habit of answering back; but she's tidy, and I hate to see a sloven waiting at table, and moves lightly and quickly; two very good things in a waiter. The Irish are generally so stout and heavy." " Bridget is very delicate looking. I don't think she can be very strong," Mrs. West said. " What wages do you give her V "There's another thing about hor ; she asks such low wages. Why, Maria hud six dollars ; but Bridget asked only four when she came, and that's all I've given her. I'm nfruid every day she'll ask to liave her wagon raised. Papa allows six yet, and I should have to give it to her. As it is, I can afford two pair of gloves a month out of what I save." " How is that (" asked Mrs. West. She could not believe her young relative guilty of so small a saving. Small to her, but how much to a servant, who had nothing' but her wages tm depend upon ! '' Why, papa allows six dollars, in the house allowance, for a waiter, and as Bridget only asked four "? " You make two dollars a month out : of Bridget ?" " Yee," said the young lady, piercing j nil eyelet hole with a gold-headed bodkin; and, as she did not see Mrs. West's ex- p pression, concluding her economy was v considered laudable. c " Is she Protestant or Catholic i" in- i 1 quired the other, after o moment's : s silence. ! <J "Oh, I fancy her religion doesn't (3 trouble her much any way. They have I \ Sunday afternoon once a month; but I n fancy there's not much church-going. 1 It's all the time they have for visitiug, t you know. I was quite astonished at ii your girls having half of every Sunday, a and one week-day afternoon every month, c I did not know it until that day you I could not go to Germantown, because f you were taking care of tho children to lot Marianne go out." "Virginia," said Mrs. West. " did it ever occur to you that your servants have a soul as well as yourself f" 1 " It's not my business to look after it, v if they have." And the bodkiu was 0 again inserted, with a half smile at what li the embroideress considered a clever t answer to her questioner. ti " I beg your pardon," Mrs. West, re- n turned, more serionslv 44 It seemn to ft mo you have a great deal to do in the 1) matter. I thought you were very atrict ti about Sunday." 'J " So I am. I uever receive calls or I walk, and I go to church twice a day." ' 1) "What for?" iv "What for? Because it'a right, of 3 courae. How odd you are, Augusta !" c " And you are four?let me see?eight h times as wicked as Bridget." j i' " Why, what do you mean, Augusta ?" 'J " If Bridget only needs one sermon a h month to teach her, and you need eight. 1' Do you see ?" n " But she can't bo spared. Dou't you J u see how it is ? The work must tie done c Sundays as well as other days." d "So you dress, and go to church, and h hoar, 'tliou, uor thy man-servant, nor r thy maid-servant,' must work on the t] seventh day, and consider the whole c commandment observed because you d neither receive visits nor wjdk with your h gentlemen friends." tl Miss Hyde looked up, not knowing s whether to smile or show her real vexa- j c tiou; but her cousin was perfectly sen- v ous. | i\ " Do you ever ask the girls if they j e have been to church '?" * | a " I don't think they'd stay very long, if . a they were catechized as to how they spent ; b their afternoon out. It's a pity if they ; fi can't see their friends sometimes." Miss ; d Hyde, like all only daughters, did not ; A know how to be found fault with gra- I ii ciously. 1 o " I quite agree with you, and that's the i ii reason I give them one afternoon be- J li sides, even with a little personal incon- 1 a vrini'iitT fiuiurtimw, uuu i. iiun i m;r wily * yrrur cook and chambermaid cannot make the arrangement to relieve each other, just as mine do. It would be ! easier in your family, for you have a j (] seamstress." " 1 Miss Hyde was too much annoyed at " Laving lieen snared in her own argument ^ to vouchsafe any answer. u "As long as we do not treat our servants b is rational human beings, we have no b right to complain if they neglect their tl luties toward us. How are they going tl to know that ' Servants, obey your mas- b ters, not with eye-service,' is a command o i)f our Master and theirs, if they never H; havo time to listen to any instruction tl {."It's all eye-service," Miss Hyde said, I ti ihortly. 1 tl " What else can it be, when you do not ti take any interest in them or their affairs, 1> hut to get as much done for as little u wages as possible ?" j u " Why, you are always so economical, ' o \ugusta; I thought you would approve n [>f that, I'm sure." v\ "I'm never ecouomicul about payiug u for work?work of any kind, Virginia, h Think what very Rmall wages they make, ?? it any rate, anil so few of thorn lxave any o homes to go to, in case of sickness or ae- j b sident. There's another kind of wages ) b they iike just as well?kind words? ! ? when vou see thov'vo tried their best to d please you. Kiiul words and a little con- n uderation will get twice as much accom- " plishcd. Now, your culling Bridget up , stairs seven times this morning, when she might have done all you wanted in I coming twice, for instance." j 0 "Wliv, my dear soul, she's paid for it; j e it's her work." j tj "Bo it's her work to sweep and dust . t, the parlors and halls, and the sidewalk; : u to clean all tliat silver; to set the tublo ] Cl three times a day, and wait on it; to an- \ j swcr the door-bell every half hour, and | yours?we won't say how often; to bo in c; three places at once; and never to feel ^ fretted, if her work is put back an hour j? by unnecessary demands upon her time. n I believe one never can understand it un- j, less they have tried it themselves." M "You seem to." And a slightly scorn- ^ ful expression passed over the young j, girl's face at tho lecture she was receiv- 8 mg- o "Iloarnedby experience. " But you never wero a servant, Cousin y Augusta i" 1, "You are mistaken." And a half fi smile ciime to Mrs. Wont's face. " I know all Bridget's troubles by most lameutublo n experience. No, I won't say that either; ' j| it was my own choice, and I had excel- j r lent wagos in the end." " But how i I don't understand you." j c "Perhaps I will tell you all about it ' r some day. In the mean time, hero's j e Bridget waiting for orders, and Master j r Ally looking after mamma." i e Mrs. West came to the conclusion that ! 1 her venture in Bridgot's behalf was not ' t all lost, when she suw the pains Miss j 11 Hyde took to remember all the dinner- 1 t table instructions at" once, and heard her t say, in conclusion, " Nevor mind going s to Miss Loo's after dinner; you look c tired, and to-morrow will do just as I welL" it The girl looked not hvis astonished than rateful, the weary, listless expression anislied, ami Mi as Hyde did not find oeasion for fault during the whole meal, t hud never occurred to her before that 1 ervants were to be managed rationally, ir that consideration was as much her | Lnty as theirs. Mr. Hyde thought she i ras very absent minded, and rallied her I bout a certain Mr. Abbott when she lelped him twioe to fish; but she was liiuking of what her cousin had said, ind determined to remember her advico, ,nd profit bv it. So well did she suc <H'd, that Miss Hyde's servants lnid, leneeforth, comparatively little cause or complaint for her treatment. Still, lie was not Happj. An uncle of Michael Hogan, of West Frov, N. Y., died recently in Peunsvlama, leaving coal laiuls valued at #5,000,>00, to a portion of which Michael is ioir. Forty years ago Michael Hogan, hen twenty-one years of age, and an lucle, the only survivors of a once uu aerous family, some to thin country ami dopted it as their own. Michael, a iiird-'working, industrious young man, Lnally took up hit* residence in West iroy. The uncle went to Pottaville, I 'enusylvauia, or that vicinity, uud after iboring a number of years, purchased ?*ith his earnings a large tract of laud, lichacl also saved money, and in the ourse of time laid by enough to start limself in the grocery business, in which t can be truthfully said he has prospered. ?lie venture of his uncle turned out to ?e a most profitable one. The landsmrcliased by him were found to contain bundance of coal ; and by judicious lanagoment he gradually increased his arthly store until at the time of his oath, which occurred a short time ago, ie was worth about jJS.OOO.OOO. Michael eceived information from an attorney liat his uncle, with whom he had not omiiiuuicated for sixteen years, had ied, and that he was his only surviving eir. Michael was not at all elated at his announcement, and appeared rather orry in fact that such good fortune had ome to him, says the Troy Timcx. He ras getting old, he said, and would not rant so much money; besides he had noHgh for himself, wife and daughter, ud the possession of the immense mount meutionod above would only ring trouble nntl disgrace upon his imilv eventually, as young people uowa.ays did not know how to Bpeud money, is we have stated, Michael is a sober, adustrious man, and is every way worthy f his fortune, which ho intends to claim umediately. If he is sorry about this ittle matter, ho can turn it over to us nd wo'll cheerfully bear the burden for dm. A Warning to Criminal*. We should imagine that the terrible oath of Douglas and Moshor at Hay tidge, Long Island, ami the grisly sight f their bodies lying in the Brooklyn lorgue, would have a depressing effect pon the gentlemen who belong to the urglarious profession. Most undoubted' j in east-side saloons, and especially in le bucket shops along the river front, no circumstance lues been discussed, and ar-rooms hold entranced by the recital f the dead heroes' daring deed. But a udden stoppage of a career of crime as loirs was stopped, is apt to rub the insel off the idea, if it ever existed. And lore is no doubt that a tawdry fascinaion is excited over a certain class of eople by the stories of felony written ith such rose-colored ink by Mr. Ainsrorth and others of his ilk. Only the tlior day the police of Philadelphia lade a descent upon a cellar in which rere a dozen or fifteen lads, constituting 1 juvenile gang of thieves, each of whom ad been originally led astray by the iniieuce of the yeliow covered romances f crime. Perhaps Moslier anil Douglas 1 egan iu this manner. However they ' egan, ami however they have lived, it is 1 ertuin that they have given in their ! eath the most terrible emphasis to that ither trite heading for a copy book, | Honesty is the bvst policy." A Curious Suicide. The old story of a room with a number ( f windows, one of which disappeared very day, and the room gradually conducted uutil it crushed its occupant to ) death, evidently haunted the brain of despairing Parisian jeweler who roently committed suicide. The unlucky 'rencliman, inconsolable for the loss of j is better-half, became subject to a speies of somnambulism. He was uccns>med to wear a gold necklet, one of his ito wife's favorite ornaments, and he seil to say to his friends that the ueck?t daily grew smaller, and that his wife ras thus painlessly killing him, much to is joy. The fact was that the somuninulist rose every night and went in his leep down to his instruments, kuocked ff the link of a necklet, and put on the is toning again. Next morning he found lie collar smaller, and, having 110 recolmtion of what, lie hiul flimn nSriKnl .1 lie event to supernatural influence, 'his continued for some time, when the lecklet grew so small that, in fastening t, on, the hapless widower literally garoted himself to death. English School Law.?A compulsory ulucation law, similur to that which is tow in operation in New York State, is mforoed in Eugland. There is now a lovel difficulty in London in the way of xncting compliance with its provisions, rhe holiday pantomimes and spectacles of heaters employ hundreds of children, md the |>ay is six shillings a week. As he tine for parents who do not send heir children to school is usually hut a hilling, thoy pay it when brought into , >urt, as they are about once a week, and I t9Sp on breaking the law. Higher penaliea are proposed. Prentice on Dueling. The famous letter of the late Geo. D. Preutice on dueling, ami written in response to a challenge he had received, is now republished. In his lotter the veteran editor said : " Presuming that your notes are written to me with a view to a duel, I may as well sav here that I have not the least thought of accepting a challenge from you. I consider my strictures upon your writings entirely legitimate, and, at any rate, the disclaimer that I have made ought to satisfy you. 441 came here from a distant State because many believed I could do something to promote a great and important enterprise ; and as I have reason to think that my labors are not altogether in vain, I do not intend to let myself be diverted from them. There are some persons, and many, to whom my life is valuable ; and however little or much value I may attach to it on my own account, I do not see tit at present to put it up voluntarily against yours. 44 You may, for aught I know, be u man of reputable standing, and I disclaim any rnfiianl fn v/\n nil flin n/ your not being a gentleman ; but you are not of the order of men whom I should choose to fight, if I fought at all. If you were to kill me, y?u would kill a man who is the support and stay of his family, and who is extensively regarded as one of the stays and supports of his party, and as the possessor of some influence m the affairs of the country ; but I presume that it is of no great consequence to any, except your immediate personal friends, whether you die or live. '' I am no Iwliever imthe dueling code. I would not call a man to the field unless he had done me such a deadly wrong tliat I desired to kill him ; and I would not obey his coll to the field unless I had done liim so mortal an injury as to entitle him, in my opinion, to demand an opportunity of taking my life. I have not the least desire to kill vou or to harm a hair of your head, aud I am not conscious of having done anything to entitle you to kill me. I do not want your blood upon my hands, and I do not want my own upon anybody's. I might yield much to the demands of a strong public sentiment; but there is no public sentiment that either requires me to meet you or would justify me in doing so. " I look upon the miserable code that is said to require two men to go out and shoot at each other foi*wliat one of them may consider a violation of etiquette or punctillio in the use of language with a scorn equal to that which is getting to be felt by the whole civilized world of mankind. I am not afraid to express such views in the enlightened capital of Arkausivs or anywhere elsG. I am not so cowardly as to stand in dread of any imputation on my courage. I have always had courage enough to defend my honor and myself, and I presume I always shall have. Yours most, etc., " George D. Pkkntice." A Sad Sight. It was a sad, sorry spectacle wliich the passengers on the train from North Adams to Cheshire saw, the Springfield /{rpublirati tells ns, and one not without its lessons. The early comers to the train were met by a man at the car eytrance who introduced liimself as '' John C. Wolcott, of Cheshire, the clown, often called the fool." He was a direct descendant, he said, of old Oliver Wolcott, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, and "I am not," he added, "a Henry Ward Beecher or a thief or a robber ; i am only John C. Wolcott, the drunkard." Alas, the poor fool?for such rum had made him?and it was true ! This man in his patched trousers, rusty coat and eminently drunken liat, with a naturally fine face, drawn into a silly pueker, was John C. Wolcott, the eccentric, talented member of the Berkshire Bar, and once quite well known as an effective temperance orator, going to his Cheshire homo from a North Adams drunk. Alternately during the ride he played the down, addressed an imaginary jury, or made faces at an indignant Irish woman, who objected to his companionship when there were many unoccupied seats about her. A while ago there was a demand that he be expelled from the Bar, but Wolcott very nbly pleaded his own case at Pittsfield, aud the lawvers, who are loth to give up " eccentric John Wolcott, refused to cast him out. Once a favorite student of the Into Judge Bishop of Lenox, John C. Wolcott dare not now go out of town with more tlian seventy-five cents, 'tis said, above his railroad fare, lest the temptation for drink overcome him. Ho lives in a slovenly way, with only a boy for company, on the old " Wolcott place," and this young man for whom Mr. Bishop predicted such a bright career, years ago, cannot now be trusted with the management of his own property. In his sol?er moments he is yet a lawyer of more than average ability, and' in the little cases which are occasionally given him these days ho often displays much of his old bnllianey and power. But " the boys " now like to see " Old John," as they call him, drunk, and if he hasn't got any money it is quite the fashion to treat him. Especially is this true at North Adams, where the train officials say they have seen him lighting to get awav from his friends (?) who would persuade him to make sport for them over another train. And then John C. Woloott goes heme at lust to act the clown to a car load of disgusted, pitying strangers, reeling off at Cheshire statiou to make faces from the platform till the train disappears and shuts him out, an unsightly nuisance. A New Haven man, while dredging in the harbor at tliat city, raised a human skull which was thickiy covered with mussels and oysters. Items of Interest. A Chicago plumbing firm advertises " load sinks." As if everybody didn't know that. Turkeys who survived the holidays appointed January 2d, 1875, as a day of Thanksgiving. They do say that the entire crop of mustard this 'year wouldn't make the Kentucky Library draw when it agreed to. A young lady Bays she longs for fingers like the prongs of a pitchfork, with diamond rings enough to fill them to the ends. A Richmond paper has a plan for keeping a party in power. The party is to give every girl in the land a sewing machine and a feller. A strong effort to have the next college regatta at New London, Conn., will be made nt the meeting of the College Boating Association in Hartford. If there is one thing more than another that will thorouglily exasperate a man, it is breaking a straw off when cleaning out a dirty pipe-stem. An impertinent fellow wants to know if you ever sit down to tea where skimmed milk was on the table without being asked " Do you take the cream ?" It is the thing to import* " indoor men," and people who come back from Europe bring, with the rest of their " fixings," a German or Italian " Major domo.' It is stated that of the 250,000,000 tons of coal annually dug from the bowels of the earth, Great Britain produces onehalf. Germany and the United State one-sixth each. The question for discussion at a reoent meeting of scientists was: " Which travels faster, heat or oold ?" It was decided in favor of heat, as many present had often been able to catch oold. Of course, a woman doesn't want her plants to freeze, but stilL one can't blame a man for raising a row when he hops out of bed in the morning and finds a geranium plant in each trousers' leg. It's truly astonishing how the papers, while they persist in charging a man a dollar an inch for advertising when living, cheerfully give up a whole oolumn of space for nothing, when his obituary comes along. Mrs. Eshelman. of Shillington, Pa., will arrest the fellow who poured coal oil . in her well if she can find nim out. The trick made her- think she had reaUy " struck oil." and ihe disappointment is aggravating.* " Madame ! take this hundred-pound bill. Use it freely and never say that I suffer your purse to be empty of pocket money," said an attentive spouse in public, but added, mtto voce, "if you spend a penny of it I'll kill you." President Lincoln, sitting at the fountain-head of official patronage, used to say that it sometimes seemed to his discouraged mind that seven-eighths of the people of the United States were trying to live at the exponse of the other eighth. The sheriff of Cuyahoga county, Ohio, lately had the disagreeable duty to perform of conveying to the penitentiary on a three years'sentence a "repeater," whose offense consisted in having voted three times for the very official who was conducting him to prison. Building m Italy would see^p to be a peculiarly dangerous occupation. A new office is being erected in Rome for the Ministry of Finance. The other day a workman fell from the scaffolding and was killed, making the hundredth victim of accidents upon the same building. A correspondent of a Cincinnati Eper writes from Circleville, Ohio : " I ve read with some degree of interest a Circleville telegram in the Cincinnati press of to-day, reporting me in a dying condition lost evening. Judging solely from my own knowledge of the matter, I hereby certify tliat I do not believe the report to be true." The Denver News records this incident: A man was about dying in this^ city, and an acquaintance sent the fol-"* lowing telegram to his wife, who was in Chicago: "Your husband is dying. Come quick." She coolly replied: " Cau't go now. If he dies, hand liini over to the Masous, he's oue of them." The man died. The wife hasn't been heard from since. A farmer, famous for liis hogs, was asked what was the secret of his success. He answered : " I always choose a goodnatured pig. Those that when they eat are constantly running from one trough to another, and knocking their snopts against the next pig, I sell to my neighbors, who don't know better than tq buy such troublesome animals, while my contented pigs get fat." The Troy Times relates this: 11A young lady in a neighboring village cooepted an invitation from a young gentleman to ride, and when the gentleman came with his horse and buggy, the lady found it impossible to get in, so closely had she adhered to the prevailing fashion of drawing her dress tightly about her. She asked to be exoused, and going into the house, let out two or three reefs in her dress, when she was enabled to get into the buggy." An accident has occurred on the Great St. Bernard in Switzerland, Eight Thillian worlf mpn vara nrnauinct fha ivnnin. tain, and two monks and a servant, followed by a dog, went ont to meet thorn. jBI The whole party was overtaken by a snowstorm and buried in the drift. One of the monks snoooeded in extricating himself, bat was only able to walk a g| few steps. The dog went back to the monastery and assistance wae sent, but it was too late. The monk died half an , hour after being found; the others will | 1 amain buried in the snow, IS 4 "?'* ifijill " r?a?WKM