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fiumorou* ibprtmrnt. No Words Wasted. ?A man in New j York, whose wife was recuperating at a more or less well known resort, was shocked to receive the following telegram: "Come to Atlantic City on first ' train: I am .dying." ' ?' Jumping into a taxi he rushed to the station, caught the first train, and. standing on the steps ready to grab the quickest conveyance to the hotel as the train pulled in, almost fainted as he saw his wife on the platform. "Why did you say you were dying?" he ksked as soon as he recovered from the shock. "Oh." she replied, "I was dying to sec you, but the man In the telegraph office wanted to charge me for thirteen words instead of ten, so I crossed out the last three."?Posta| Tele-' graph. . ""J i Spoiling th? Fun.?The teacher said , to her pupils: "Wouldn't this be a great world if. people would all love one another and treat each other with-kindness?" One small boy looked doubtful. "Wouldn't you like to see everybody treat everybody else with kindness?" the teacher inquired. After a moment's reflection the boy answered: "Then there wouldn't be any more Mutt and Jeff pictures."?Youngstown Telegram. The Real Need.?The bishop's secretary reported to him: "A well meaning committee has designed a moral gown for the modern girl. The gown, I have been given to understand, is of good,- thick woolen stuff, it comes up to the chin and down to the instep, and it is loose, not revealing the figure in any way." The bishop smiled. "Now that i they have designed the gown," he said, "why don't they design a girl who will wear it?"?London Opinion. Puzzle: Find Pop.?Colonel B. A.Franklin, Vice-President of Strathmore Paper Company, is responsible , for the following- story: A gentleman ! having business with a back-country j farmer inquired of the farmer's boy , where the old man was to be found. J "He's out in the pig-pen doctoring' a sick shoat," replied the boy, and added as an illuminating after-thought, "Pop's the one with a hat on."? Christian Intelligencer. Letting Hi-rW Down Easy.?A rich man, lying on his death bed, called his chauffeur who had been in his service for years, and said: "Ah, Sykes. I am going on a long and rugged journey, worse than ever you drove me." "Well, sir," consoled, the chauffeur. "There's one comfort- It's all down hill."?American Legion Weekly. Superiority.?Booth Tarkington tells of an olA cplored man who appeared ar. a witness before or.e of our committees in the course of his examination these questions were put to the man: "What is your name?" "Calhcun Clay, sah.* "Can you sign your name?" "Sah?" , "I ask if you can write your name." "Well, no sah. Ah nebber writes ma name. Ah dictates it, sah."- Atlanta Chronicle. Painless Dentistry.?Aunt Ethel ? "Well, Beatrice, were you very brave at the dentist's?" Beatrice?;"Yes, auntie, I was." Aunt Ethel?"Then there's the halfcrown I promised you. And now tell me what he did to you." Beatrice?"He pulled, out two of Willie's teeth!"?Punch. Tame Bird, Wild Parson:?Judge j Priest?"Parson, that turkey you sold me yesterday wasn't a tame one as you claimed it to be, for 1 found shot in it." Parson Brown?"Judge, dat was a tame turkey jest like I sed it was; dem shot was meant for me."?Judge. Soft Answer Turneth Away Wrath. ?Wife?"My dear, you've forgotten again that today is my birthday." Husband?"Er?listen, love, I know I forgot it, but there isn't a thing about you to remind me that you are a day older than you were a year ago."?London Opinion. Suburbanity. ? Woman?"I should think you would be ashamed to beg in this neighborhood." Tramp?"Don't apologize for it, mum, I've seen worse."?Williams l'urple Cow. Wised Up a Bit.?Burrows?"Sorry, old chap, but I am looking for a little financial succor, aguin." Bangs?"You'll have to hunt further. I am not the little llnancial sucker I used to be."?I-awyer and Banker. Why Business Is Now Dull.?"I've got a lot of things I want to talk to you about, dear." said the wife. "That's good," answered the husband: "you usually want to talk to me about a lot of things you haven't got."?Tit-Bits. The Higher Journalism.?Reporter ?< 'I have come to interview you, sir." Great Statesman?"Well, go back and write your interview and let me sec it." Reporter?"Here it is."?Life. The Power of Love.?Captain (sharply)?"Button up that coat." Married Recruit (absently)?"Yes my dear."?The Allegheny Campus. AMERICAN RELIEF WORK I: C Russians Regard Americans With 1 Religious Reverence. j > BURN CANDLES IN GRATEFUL REGARD'! 4 . I V Twenty Million Dollar Appropriation Is Being Exoendod With Efficient 1 Thoroughness?The Famine Suffer- (i crs Show Wonderful Patience. Norah Meade in New York World. It was Rudyard Kipling who said j. tliat the Russian whs a very pleasant . gentleman until he tucked his shirt into his trousers. Which was the Eng- ' n lishman's way of saying that as a fcl- . low-European he thought the Russian v a very amiable Oriental. . What docs the American think of the , Rilssian? How does he like him in his _ native land? How is he impressed, * not by the cosmopolitan inhabitants ?>f ^ the big cities, but by, the peasant and j the Main Street tradesman? The American ltelief Administration, ' which as the distributor of America's $20,000,000 gift to tl?e famine sutler- ' ers, will feed approximately 7,000,000 people in the striekep areas, has already opened, its stations all through the country?in Moscow, Petrograd, Has- j( an, Simbirsk, Samara, Saratov, Ufa, Tzaritzin. In fact its most easterly . post is now-eighty miles beyond Tchcliabinsk, which eVcry European considers the gateway to China. The A. R- A. workers have therefore penetrated to the very heart of RussiaThey have come to know its people intimately under circumstances which ,J inevitably reveal their real character. '' What they think of the Russian, his s manner of life, his attitude of mind, ^ and above ull his capacity for suffer- ^ ing in his present terrible ordeal, is reflected in the following collection of stories and first-hand opinions which v this paper has been able to secure for v its readers. This first story comes from the Stavu ropol district of Samara. * 11 Late last fall an American Relief 4 JM|NUHn4iAn i\r> Q tnur nf in AUIUilliidliailvll rlumvi v.. M . C vestigation through this territory came on a little village where the famine a was reaching a crisis and the people g had begun to despair. Already they were beginning to live on grass, roots ( and the edible but dysentery-causing clay which have come to be the main t food for millions of Russia. ^ Descending from his car, he seemed ^ indeed a real god from a machine, for, f satisfied as to their need, he forthwith opened, a kitchen, to which stocks of nourishing supplies came regularly ' from a central warehouse, to save the s lives of the children. v In December the A. R. A. man re- r turned to see how the work was pro- ^ grossing. He canto by sleigh this time, ' for snow had blocked the roads, and there is no railway in these outlying j districts of the famine area- He came | ^ 1 ? K" tlm nlnnnt U'.lK I JttlV 111 till' ucijk, nuvu iuv isiwu. ^ gathering, and the first glean! that met (his eye was from a candle in the villuge church of Uld Benarndka. It was . the only glimmer at the moment. During his stay lie noticed that it wascpnstant, and later they told him the reason. j It was a candle kept constantly . burning for the soul of the A. K. A., by villagers who had no other way of showing their gratitude for its timely i aid"The Russian is an Oriental," said . one A. R. A. man, whose work took him on a trip through the whole Volga valley- "No man not thoroughly imbued with tin- passive philosophy of 1 the Kast could take his predicament as he takes it today. "Can you imagine an Occidental farmer sowing seed for next year's crop and telling you at the name time that he expected to he dead of starvation before the crop ripened? "Can you imagine an American let- ' ting his president tell him he might as well die of hunger in his own home as 1 try to escape and die in the open? Yet | [ thousands of Russians listened to |1 President Kalinin tell them that and | never uttered a complaint. "Though they were scraping the ] trees of their bark to make bread with ! it, I did not hear any of them beg. OKLAHOMA PASTOR TOO SENSAT10NAI r" - ; " The Rev. Gliomas Irwin will be tried by the trustees of the First Presbyterian Chuvcli of Lawton, Okla.. 011 a charge of conduct unbecoming a minister. lie married a couple in a public bathing pool, which created a sensation. One night following the unique wedding lie was kidnaped and thrown into a ditch twelve, miles from Lawton. The congregation is split . ; in two factions as a result of the i Incident. 0 'omclinios tlicy asked lit ?]>?-fOi- their hildreii?but "quietly, in the tone of me inun putting a reasonable request o another. "And they are highly intelligent i>eo>le too. They know wh^* this famine s one of the worst that ever struck he Volga valley. They know all the auses that led to it, and they know vho is helping them most to fight ft"There is not a peasant among them hat does not realize what America is loing. Not only are they grateful, but hey will never forget." The primitive conditions of life in onie of the remote villages of the amine area and the consequent trials f an efficient relief worker trying to iut his kitchen on a business basis arc musingly illustrated ii) the following ncident, whieh comes also from the Samara district. It has always been the rule of the k. R A. that the feeding stations hould open at a fixed time, when all he children capable of being accommodated at one sitting should come. et their meal and depart. In tins vuige, however, the inspector found that he kitchens were operating more or jos on a cafeteria basis. After the I rat sitting they remained open until I certain hour. Then, as the children ame, they were served. The A. Tt. A. man protested to the seal authorities. "Why don't you divide the children nto sections," he said, "and feed each ettion at a certain time?" "Quite impossible," they told him. "But why?" lie demandedThe reason was simple. So scarce ,-ere clocks and watches among the easant in Stavropol that it was imractical to fix more than an approxilate hour for feeding. The children's tomachs to be sure, acted as excellent imepieces, never failing to ring in hose due for the first sitting. But as i> drawing a rigid minute mark therefter?that was out of the question, rhen the only guide for the parents ras the position 01 ine sun. The endurance of Russian women nder their present trials also comes n for its share of praise from the relef workers. Women are always in harge of the government homes to rdiach refugees are brought, and where n attempt is made to feed them and ive them medical care. In one of these homes typhus hnd iroken out badly and all the women, rorkers except one doctor had conractcd the disease- Many of the children had it too. Cleanliness, good iursing and food are the only cures < or typhus. This home was crowded, ""he children had been for the most art picked up in the streets, and rcre dirty and ragged- There was no oap?soap is at a premium in Russia, rhcre there has been a lack of fats for nany years. Food was scanty and of oor quality and there were, of course, 10 drills. In short, it was hopeless for any one I crson, however strong, to try to cope i vith this situation. The woman doc- I or was worn by work and want of l bod. She could have saved herself by foing, but it never occurred, to her to lo so. "I ant needed," was her simple cx>lanation to the relief worker. So she stayed- Unless some miracle ms saved her, it is almost inevitable hat she herself is a typhus patient low. Finally, what does the Russian think | ?f the American, as revealed to him hrough the A. K. A. worker? A little neident that occurred in the New fork office at No. -1? I {roadway will iclp us "to see ourselves as others see is." A young man who s]>oke English j rery imperfectly indeed one day came to the downtown New York office, looking for a person whom he called *ahra." "Ahra," he had been informed in a letter from his sister in Russia, was an muipotqnt individual who could even bring her to America if her brother could only find him. The sister gave the address of the A. R. A-, and on examining her letter it was discovered ,l'"f 1" it t'l'M,1ll>llllv 1 11 1 f I 11 < t I .tlH I VIVIIlt U l" u ?... never by its full title. She knew it .* 7 Y M vV V V '!**!' V V V VVV V'X' V V VV V Men's s | MEN, IF IT IS SUM3Y1 | FOR YOU. ALL I | LINED, 1-4 LINE! I FIND OUR PRIO] | ____ *t* ..... X Mon's Unlined Suits 111 | Priced f .Men's Lined Suits in X X Slims and Slot X are looking for? I * LADIES'SPORT <)\ I LADIES' BLACK I\11 Priced | LADIES' \V11ITE ST! t Priced | Kirkpatr BIBLE IS POPULAR 1 Much Publicity Being Given the Greatest Book in the World At an expense of- one dollar for every million readers, the hack to the ; Bible bureau of Cincinnati, Ohio, is getting one verse of scripture daily j printed in about one thousand American newspapers and magazines. Its total scripture renders are estimated at 10.000.0(10 now, two years after the bureau's inauguration. A goal of 110,000,000 Bible verse : readers daily is announced, with a ; five-year programme to make it effective. The bureau's idea is that daily j reading of one Bible verse makes for good citizenship, and 'that the best pulpit through which to reach all persons is the daily press. The organi- j zation is nonsectarian, its daily verse j going to publications of all faiths. I free of charge, and not only to newspapers. but to trade journals, and to society and labor publications. fhn trlnn utnrtod and ?'S rapid I growth is described by George W. Hartzell, a Dayton, Ohio, manufacturer, an advisory member of (he bureau. The chairman is James Gamble, of the I'roc tor & Gamble Co. The bureau whs inaugurated two years hgo by Addison Y. Itcid. of Cincinnati, who is now its secretary. He i had been conducting a -propaganda j for prohibition, sending daily contributions to a ntlmbcr of newspapers, and paying, for their publication. With ttte adoption of the prohibition amend- j ment, Mr. Reid stopped that work, but decided to try a campaign ol' Biblical , verse. At first he paid for the publication of daily Bible verses just the same as he paid for the propaganda. The verses went to only a few newspapers. only as "Ahra " The brother wanted to know whether the American Relief Administration could reveal the identity of this powerful individual and enlist his aid. He was, unfortunately, only one of J very many who must be informed that the A. R. A. is a charitable organiza- ; tion which restricts its services to i feeding: the starving. REFORMED CQLLlE NOV/ R It * >! '* ^1 w 1 ' " ' * J f t i . i* v.' : : : '' ' '*:i#?4| 1 - ' 1 ., s - m V Tliis (lop was captured when ] still near Baltimore. Now they usi ccnsciously has turned t itor, for have renamed it "Squirrel." V V V V V V V V V'i'V'l IJM'mJI *? *. .VMJI C r jummer v. * [EE CLOTHING THAT Y01 3IZES?REGULARS, SLUV D, 1-2 LINED AND FULL I ES ARE RIGHT. WE WAN a varietv of colors and all Si ' $3.98, $7.i avys, Drowns and (Day Mi.\1 its?We think that we have t -Priced FORDS?Drown and White? i 1 I ? \ TI/ VT I 1/ V rr II I,' I > < ' clllll i - \ I Ii.> i IJ LJ? \ i iixjii ? IT.MI'S?l,o\v and Med ick - Belk >*? ? ??% , ? ?*, ? , ,% ? , , t?c (j I After ill tout six. months' paid publicatii?ns, other newspapers, becoming? in- j terested, and discovering that Mr. , Iteid was furnishing tlie scriptunil (|ii<>lalions, ashed him to supply tlicm . also, offering to make publication without charge. Thereupon Mr. Iteid j stopped paying for Insertion of the verses, and tin' present bureau was inaugurated. Mr. Hartzell said that in these two years the bureau lias expended $10,000, all of it for printing and postage, as there are no other expenses, all the work being voluntarily done bj a group of Cincinnati residents. The response to the bureau's letters offering t lie script tires has been uniformly from all sections of the country, Mr. Hartzell stated. The daily papers now publishing include -III in Canada and J publications in Hawaii, the Philip- j I lines and Korea. Many papers have been putting the drily verse at the head of tlie editorial column, but not all. "A large Ohio daily." said Mr. [ Hartzell, "is running the verse com- ! pletcly across its daily comic pose. When I asked the editor why lie chose that position, he replied: "'Why, Tion't you want it in the most conspicuous place?'' "This editor added, laughing:, 'perhaps tho readers of the comic need balancing more than anyone else.' "The editor of a Ilellingham, Wash., paper made a personal investigation to discover whether subscribers really read these daily verses. He reported that thousands actually read them. "The verses are selected by Mr. Iteid, who before having them mailed submits them to a committee of ministers and church officials for approval." Mr. Hartzell said that the bureau is now engaged in raising a fund of $200,000, the amount it is estimated the work of extending the publication to a 110,000,000 daily circulation will cost in tlie next five years. Filial Piety.?Visitor?"Are your children doing anything for you in this your last illness?" Old Man?"Oh, yes; they are keeping up my life insurance."?Western Christian Advocate. UN5 DOWN BOOTLEGGERS, I : . ...w ^ Photo by Underwood & Underwood. FederaJ agents raided a moonshiner's e the once faithful animal, which un running down illicit distillers. They 'lothing | c [I NEED V/E HAVE IT IS, AND STOUTS- IN \ iINED AND YOU WILL ) :T TO SHOW YOU, | zes jui<1 Styles? < 50, S3.95 and Up to $24.03 J ! 11 res?Regulars, * lie Suit dial vou $9.95 to $34.95 J -Priced $3.50 Pair STIfAl' ITMPK $3.50 to $4.98 iuni IIccls? SI.75 to $4 98 Company WOMEN OF AFGHANISTAN. Policy of the Men to Keep Them In Ignorance. Take the Arab, the Afghan considers it unnecessary and even unwise that women should learn to read or write. [ No Kills are admitted to the bazaar schools and no mullahs arc employed to teach them, and Afghanistan knows notliiiiK of women teachers. The trade of AfKhanistan is moved entirely in caravans and is largely in j the hands of Hindoos and Tadjiks. There is not a mile of railroad in (he I kingdom, the Amir fearing that steel highways would make isolation impossible. Apart from rugs, a few xylophones, some crude adornments for wom< n, n little silk and felt and a few simple woven tissues, no products of native >r;Z MMWCWMUI* UflVOnMRMHnnM ALL TH1 r.OMMF Monday, YORK Jack ] Ccili^ The Biggest, Be j Cut Show ( I^S-Pet | 7 -- PIECE OR . FEAT TliP Rnv WI A 11V JW V J ? * a i Million: AT BIG $10,000 MONDAY NIGHT A! | "By Orde With High Class Vaiu 5 ' - Good Singing, ( I | trancing, run f Time?Doors Open 1 >. [ Place?Under tin t Prices?War Tax Inclu I Childr i1 | LADIES FREE I I MONDAY NIGHT IH\ IRKSI rur wiHmKi^ wwriiiw w :* I FEINSTEIN'S :* J ? Just Received Another New t' o Men's Clothing at the Rij S M j ??i- ii ? >i J, <- in ;ii! colors At ! t THE BOYS AND GIRL .* ' j' j |Ai|- TENNIS SHOES and wo h | 2 KKDS \V< FIT YOl*. V ? y than we ever sold before n< 1 a ?- $1-08 and $2.23 We hn v? over 200 pa is.;' w? 2 :|!" Jfoing to < lose out $1.25 i jj* y they ire easily worth $2.50 a pt j j NATHAN FEINSTi YORK. S. C. QUICK SALES skilled Inl)Oi- are nn the market. And even mucin of what is produced in these few lines is merely an Imitation of Western or Eastern art. Small industries supply only the most urgent needs of the lower classes. The rich people buy their luxuries from abroad and the |ioormakc shab- " by shift with the cheaper fabrics. Asia Magazine. The annual reunion of (lie South Carolina Division of United' Confederate Viterans was held in Darlington, Wednesday and Thursday, officers were elected for this year as follows:* Commander of the South Carolina Division. (Sen. W. A. Clark. Columbia; Commander of First Brigade, D. W. Mci/iurin, Columbia: Commander Second Brigade, W. if. Cely, (Ireenville^Maj. (Jen. C. A. Jtced, formerly the commander of the division, was made honorary commander for life. > E WEEK1' ;ncing May 22 , s. c. 1? idians v sst and Cleanest an the Road jpie-25 CHESTRA -- 7 # U'RING 11" * ' V 8 A fSi io Has Made s Laugh THE Tent Theatre DIG FOUR ACT PLAY r ?L Court" leville Between the Acts | * lood Music, Good < ny Comedians 7*30; Show Starts 8:00 3 Biff Tent Theatre. ? 4 ded? en, 25 Cfcs.; Adults, 40 Cts. CUT THIS COUPON OUT This ticket will admit one Lady Free v/hen accompanied with one paid admission Mon- I day night. STORE NEWS I ' Shipment of Men's and Young ^ rht Prices. Come and see them. ? w shipment <>f SILK I'ONfiEK. ft 65 CTS. a Yard J| S ARE NOW HOLLERING a W nve just r<M*i iv I a now shipment of ft a s. ! 1 i:itc more PLOW SIlOKS few pairs loft that we are soiling at ? LADIi:>- WIHTK SHOKS that we a s Pair. Tltis ;S a great bargain ami v SIN'S DEPT. STORE \ SHORT PROFITS' YORK. S. C. ? WtMWlAAAIVWVttniVVVVWVWW