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liumorous department. Peanuts and Sleep. Recently a friend who had heard that I sometimes suffer from insomnia told me of a sure cure. "Hat a pint of peanuts and drink two or throe glasses of milk before going to bed." said he, "and I'll warrant you'll be asleep within half an hour." I did as he suggested. and now for the benefit of others who may be afflicted with insomnia I feel it to be my duty to report what happened, so far as I am able to recall the details. First. let me say my friend was right. I did go to sleep very soon after my retirement. Then a friend with his head under his arm came along and asked me If I wanted to buy his feet. I was negotiating with him when the dragon on which 1 was riding slipped out of his skin and left me floating in midair. While I was considering how I should get down, a bull with two heads peered over the edge of the wall and said he would haul me up if I would first climb up and rig a windlass for him. So as I was sliding down the mountain side the brakeman came in, and I asked him when the train would reach my station. "We passed your station 400 years ago," he said, calmly folding the train up and slipping it into his vest pocket. At this juncture the clown bounded into the ring and pulled the centre pole out of the ground, lifting the tent and all the people in it up, while I stood on the earth below watching myself go out of sight among the clouds above. Then I awoke and found I had been asleep almost ten minutes. ? Good Health Clinic. A Merited Rebuke. At the age of 86, Mme. Reynolds still found much zesi in life, and. having retained all her faculties, she felt that a few of the physical disabilities of her age were of small account and portended nothing. Her nephew Thomas was a man of much worth, but of a certain tactlessness of speech, which always roused the ire of his aunt. A few weeks before the old lady's eighty-seventh birthday Thomas, who had been overweighted with business cares for years, started on a trip round the world which was to consume two years. "I've come to say gooaoy, oe announced when he appeared at his aunt's house in a town fifty miles distant from his home. "I'm starting round the world next week, and as I'm to be gone two years and perhaps longer I thought I might not ever?well, you understand, I wanted to be sure to see you once more." The old lady leaned forward, fixing him with her beadlike eyes. "Thomas," she said imperatively, "do you mean to tell me the doctor doesn't think you'll live to get back?"?Youth's Companion. A Knockout.?A young lawyer was engaged in a case when a witness was put in the box to testify to the reputation of the place in question. This witness in answer to a query as to the reputation of the place replied, "A poor shop." The lawyer inquired. "You say it has the reputation of being a 'poor shop?'" "Yes, sir." "Whom did you hoar say it was a 'poor shop?"' The witness did not recollect any one he had heard say so. "What!" said the lawyer. "You have sworn this place has the reputation of being a poor shop and yet cannot tell of any you have ever heard say so?" The witness was staggered for a moment at the words of the lawyer. The lawyer was feeling triumphant when the witness gathered himself together and quietly remarked, addressing the lawyer: "Well, you have the reputation of being a poor lawyer, but I have never heard any one say so." Heard In a Restaurant.? "Say. waiter, I'm in a hurry. What can you give me for breakfast?" "Can't give yer nothing,' but ye kin git ham an' eggs for a quarter." "Well, give me two poached eggs on toast." Calling, "Adam and Eve on a raft." "And, say. waiter, by the way, have the eggs turned." Calling: again. "Wreck 'em!" "Oh, say. waiter, how long will my omelet be?" "About eight inches, I guess." "Waiter, why don't you put a button on that apron?" "Asked the old woman to sew a button on last night. She couldn't find fine, so she sewed up the button hole." "See here, waiter, don't take that plate away with apple peelings on. I believe the peel is just as wholesome as the fruit, and in fact, contains more nutriment. The very idea!" "Well, why don't you live on pineapple skins?"?Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. Perhaps.?"I don't have no opinion of these newfangled women's notions." said Mr. Hyde when his wife timidly expressed her desire to join the Woman's Self Improvement society. "But we learn so much there," ventured Mrs. Hyde. "Don't believe it!" snapped Mr. Hyde. "Women don't know much, that's a fact, but let 'em stick to their domestic duties and learn them. That's my opinion. Let 'em follow St. Paul's Injunction-^-stay at home and ask their husbands if they want to know anything." "But. John"? "I've settled it. and that's enough. Jane." "But, John, that's what women have been doing all this time, and perhaps that's the reason they don't know much." And then Mr. Hyde threw his boot at the cat and boxed Freddy's ears for grinning.?Pearson's. Poor Ananias-?"This." said the guide as ho led his little band of tourists about the odoriferous byways of Damascus. "is the home of Ananias." "That's funny," said the thin Connecticut man from Danburv. "I s'posed old what's-his-name lived in Pittsburg. Hut mebbe this is his summer home." The guide shook his head. "His summer home is not 11 entioned In ears polite." he said and passed on. ? Cleveland Plain Dealer. Still Invisible.?"By the way. old man." said the chronic toucher in lubricated tones, "you remember that fivospot I borrowed from you last fall?" "Yes." responded his friend with a yawn, "and every time I think of that five-spot I think of the comet." "That's a queer eonhination. What's the similiarity. "Why. I've been looking for it for months and haven't seen it yet;"?Chicago News. ittioccUaimuts i>cadiu(|. WOMEN IN NAVY AFFAIRS. Petticoat Influence Leads to Constan T rouble. Joiin Hay, according to a Washing ton coriespondent, had a saying tha the ideal diplomatic service?if an; government ever succeeds in having i ?will be composed exclusively of un married men. Mr. Hay had had no ex perience in naval matters or he migh have included the navy in his maxim. There probably is no branch of th government service where petticoat in fluence is so strong as in the nav> Ask any ex-secretary of the nav; about it. and he will tell you how th navy women in a thousand difiVren ways, sometimes unconsciously and oc casionally deliberately, annoy the nav; department. He will tell you how the; scheme to obtain desirable posts o duty for their husbands or sons an< how they annoy the department \yitl requests for a change of orders whet their husbands are transferred from ai easy job in Washington to sea dut; on the Asiatic station or some othe faraway tropical post. The recent rov at the Boston navy yard which culml nated in the court-martial of two offi cers illustrates the prominent par women often play in navy circles. Almost everybody knows of the mu tual ill-feeling existing between thi navy women and the department. Ev ery once in a while something happen: to widen his breach. Only a few day! ago. Ensign Charles M. Austin, son o Representative Richard W. Austin o Tennessee, was deprived of an espe< ciallv desirable berth bv the navy de< nartment merelv because he got mar ried. He had been detached from th< dispatch boat Dolphin at the Washington navy yard and ordered to Japar for duty as a student attached at th< American embassy at Tokio for th< purpose of studying the Japanese language. On the way to his new posl <->f rliift- ho sfnnnoil Ms fnrmnr homf in Tennessee and was married to a girl he had known for many years. This was too much for the unromantic departmental authorities, who suddenly decided that a married ensign would not make as good a student of the Japanese language as a bachelor Accordingly his orders were revoked and instead of spending his honevmonr in Tokio he will have less interesting service at the naval training station on the Pacific coast. He will, however have his wife. Before the days of steel and steam in the navy the wives and families ol commanding officers of cruising vessels enjoyed the privilege of living on board. There was a vessel years ago cruising in the West Indies that was commanded by a mild mannered and quiet officer. His wife, who was on board, was of a different disposition She was overbearing and had a bad temper. The officers on board regardi o/l hor r?u tho rnol r?r?nmnnilpr nf thp shin and obeyed her comands with even greater alacrity than those issued by the nominal captain. One day she decided that the shin needed painting and the sailors were ordered to begin work with their pots and brushes. She gave free rein to her artistic ideas. The eantain's pip. which she used in poinp ashore, was redecorated under her personal suoervisjon. At her behest it was painted preen outside and pink inside. "I thought it would be so pretty," she explained to her husband, "to have it pink inside and green outside?just like a seashell." But sometimes in the old days there was an element of tragedy in the incidents. Such a case occurred on the sloop Tennessee years ago. It was a hot and sultry summer night while the ti-oo ntMHtflntr in m Iflnppn n off Hampton Roads. The captain and his wife had gone to their cabin, but the heat was so oppressive they could not sleep. Finally in the hope of coaxing sleep they exchanged bunks. Shortly afterward a light breeze sprang up and both went to sleep. In the middle of the night the rapid falling of the barometer gave warning that a storm was approaching. The navigator sent a midshipman below decks to awaken the captain. He spent several minutes rapping on the captain's cabin without avail. The middie knew that the- captain must be waked promptly at all hazards and he had been directed to enter the cabin if rapping would not suffice. The young midshipman entered the cabin and stood in the middle of the room a minute or two yelling "captain," but without avail. Finally the miiidie realized that he had to shake the captain to rouse him. He figured out that the captain always slept in the berth on the port side, while his wife occupied the other. After convincing himself on this point the middie approached the captain's berth and grasping him by the shoulder shook him with more energy than judgment. There was a feminine shriek. The captain jumped out of the opposite berth and made a few emphatic remarks upon the impropriety of invading the cuptain's cabin without knocking. The bewildered middie had visions of courtmartial and dismissal from the service in disgrace, but the captain was goodhearted and did not make a complaint. Often the itinerary of a cruise was regulated by the wishes of the captain's wife. This occurred a number of years ago on a naval vessel en route from NaDles to Hampton Roads. Tin cap tain's wife was a poor sailor and had had had spells of seasickness if it was rough going. The vessel made a long detour to the South Atlantic so as to avoid the storm area. The vessel was many days overdue at Norfolk and the officers of the department became anxious. Finally, however, she sailed into Hampton Roads and reported her arrival to Washington. When the department asked the cause of the unusual delay, the captain reported that he had to steer an unusually long and roundabout course to save his wife from seasickness. In 1XS1 William H. Hunt, then secretary of the navy, issued an order for bidding navy women from living aboard or traveling upon cruising vessels. But this order did not entirely solve the problem. Wives of officers went to tlie cities at which their husbands' vessels made their headquarters. In Rio de Janeiro and Yokohama were large colonies of navy women, who resided there while their husbands were cruising in the vicinity. These cruises were never of great length, because the officers did not care to remain awav from port very long. Efforts were made to break up these colonies and on July .". 18S3. William E. Chandler, secretary of the navy, issued an order that caused a revolution among the women of the service. It was general order No. "07, which read as follows: Naval officers attached to cruising vessels, especially commanding officers. are expected to leave their families at their usual or lixed places of abode, and not to attempt to transfer them to more convenient visiting points, otiicers disregarding this injunction will be liable to be relieved from duty. This roused the navy "widows," as they are called, to the highest pitch of resentment, and they revolted. The wife of an officer serving in Alaska took up her residence at Sitka, where her husband's vessel often stopped. It was a plain violation of the secretary's regulation, and the department asked the officer for an explanation. His reply was substantially as follows: "My wife will not go home. I have asked her to do so, and she refused. I | ordered her home and she would not go. ' Please advise what further steps I shall take to comply with the wishes of the department." t The archives of the department unfortunately do not tell the sequel ?>f , this interesting incident, j Similar instances were reported from ^ various parts of the world. Secretary Chandler made an effort to enforce his 1 usual order by suspending from duty three officers on the Asiatic station. Finally, however. William C. Whitney, r who succeeded Mr. Chandler as secretary of the navy, realized the hopelessness of enforcing the order. The ^ navy women were victorious and the obnoxious order was revoked on June 30. 1885. In recent vears. however, there hasn't 5 been much friction of this sort. When the battleship fleet made its world cruise many nav\ "widows" followed it and participated with their husbands in the festivities at the various ports. Practically all of them were at Old Point Comfort on December 1G. 1907, to watch with unconcealed regret the big war vessels disappearing in the distant haze. A few days later when rumors came from the fleet by wireless 1 that it would return to the Atlantic ocean by way of the Orient and the ' Suez canal there was more tugging at the heartstrings. The navy women ' were well represented on the Pacific coast when the fleet had completed its cruise ar< und South America. When the battleships stopped on their cruise across the Pacific the navy women were there too. At Tokio they donned ' the native costume and erected their husbands even more cordially than the Japanese. At Gibraltar, where the fleet ' made its last stop before crosslne the 1 Atlantic a small crowd of navy women waved farewell to the departing ves1 sels. Several years ago the wife of a prominent naval officer thought she ' would like to spend some time abroad. Without her husband's knowledge she used her influence to have him assigned the duty as naval attache at one of 1 the American embassies in Europe. Finally the orders were issued and she told her husband how hard she had worked to obtain such a desirable asulomnninf f i\r him TTn1ik-r? mnMt nnv.il officers, he had been able to save a small competence out of his salary, but he was by no means wealthy enough for a social campaign required of naval attaches at foreign capitals. He remonstrated with her, but she was too enamored with the social side of navy life to give up her ambition. After one winter abroad the financial phase of the question began to appeal to her more strongly as their savings gradually dwindled. She realized the tremendous cost of attaining her hobby. Her resourcefulness, however, was equal to the occasion, and after considerable cabling to friends in Washington her husband was transferred to a less expensive post <>f duty. There is a large colony of navy "widows" in Washington, whose husbands are serving in different parts of the world. While they do not shirk their household duties they seem to have plenty of time for recreation. Many own automobiles and are expert chauffeurs. Others go in for tennis and golf. There are others who prefer bridge whist and euchre. With all their amusements and forms of recreation, however, they all hope for the day when their husbands will have shore duty in some habitable part of the globe. MYRA KELLY. THE WRITER. How Ghetto Child Life Depicter Got Her Start as an Author. Myra Kelly (Mrs. Allan Macnauchton), the American educator and author, affectionately known to many thousands of readers as the writer of stories of ghetto children of New York city, who died recently in Torquay, [ England, was born in Dublin, Ireland, about thirty years ago. Ten years or so ago a newspaper man was dining one evening with Dr. James T. Kelly, who asked for advice ( concerning his daughter's troubles with magazine editors. This seemed 1 ik? the j preface to a familiar story?the young woman had literary ability which the editors persistently refused to recognize. What was to be done? , But the story was not along that fa- ' miliar line. "My daughter M.vra," said Dr. Kelly j when his companion asked how he . could help, "is teaching in n downtown east side school. All of us at home have been entertained by her stories of her pupils, and I urged her to write some of them. She was timid about it because of the tales of often rejected manuscripts by unknown writers and did not say that she would make the trial. "I'nknown to me she did. though, and, determined to get over the agony of unanimous rejection as soon as possible, she made three copies of her story and posted one each to three magazine editors. This morning she came to me in dismay with three letters from three editors, three checks and three requests for more stories." . L?r. Kelly's companion agreed to act as diplomatic agent, saw the three odi- . tors, settled the matter of first cho'ce , by lot and gave the bewildered young schoolteacher's promise of other sto- | ries in turn to the other two editors. . That was the unusual manner of entrance Into the Held of story writing of Myra Kelly, tnen a teacher in the primary grade of public school No. 147, in New York. The opinions of the magazine editors were speedily justified. Headers ' demanded more stories about "Isidore Belchatosky," there were enthusiastic encores for further comment by "Mor- ( ris Mojelsky." subscribers would not be denied more of the wisdom of j V.. |... ... ......i. .. .. I ?.. , urv i\ > ?i lit i i <11111 i\ I Hrennun," whose father hail resisted ^ the thle which hail swept most of liis ^ race away from 1'overtv hollow, had s friends by tile thousands anions inajf- ^ azine readers. . For her lirst story Myra Kelly was plad to accept $r?n. Within a year site ^ K"t $~i00 for every story site wrote. ? t c Cei-man school children number nine million seven hundred and fifty ? thousand. ;; EGGING PUBLIC MEN. The Recent Outburst of It In Old England. We dare say many people share our opinion that there has been recently an unusual, possibly an unexampled, amount of detraction of our public men. No doubt when political feeling runs high, and all personal criticism of leaders in the struggle is a kind of canvassing for votes, it is natural that there aiiuuiu ur jiiuic iiiiiut-iiuu aiiu more gossip than at other times. It was said of a partisan writer on politics that he described all the members of his own party as handsome and witty, and all the members of the other side as ugly and dull. That is a habit of mind? perfectly sincere, perhaps, up to a certain point which is capable of particular and dangerous extensions. So far as mere personal animosity between politicians who continually meet one another is concerned, we may say, of course, that England is singularly free from it. A few days ago Herr von Bethmann-Hollweg was complaining in the Prussian Diet that Germans had never learned how to conduct political ' rivalry without bitterness. And in France the bitterness, even the virulence, is notorious. Very likely it is discounted by every one who deals in j it, but superficially it is unmistakable. ! Metternich, commenting on the.fra- , temite of the French, sardonically declared that if he were a Frenchman and had a brother he should say he was his cousin. The detraction which has ' been so noticeable lately is not prac- ' tised, then, among those rival polltl- ' cians who know one another fairly 1 well, but rather by those who know 1 little of the subjects of their criticism. ' Are we not all familiar with the cur- ' rent gossip? X, who recently went 1 abroad, is said to have gone for the 1 good of his family, and we are told ' that he will soon be divorced from his wife; Y, who showed a highly com- ' mendable independence in voting against his party on one occasion, is said to have got into the wrong lobby by mistake because he had had too much to drink: Z, who gave a large sum to a charity, is declared to have done so in settlement of some claim which had very little to do with charity, for Z, it is pointed out, is not the man to pay large sums except as hush money; and so on. Stories not wholly unlike these go the rounds, gathering much unearned increment of scandal f as they go; their persistence is remarkable; their popularity is as undoubted as it is discreditable; their origin defies detection. Very few public men indeed are free from the attentions of slander. Society says to each of its political leaders as Hamlet says to Ophelia: "Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou snait not escape ^ calumny." c Our own feeling is, as we have said, that this kind of calumnious gossip has j gone further than ever before. The t Lady Teazles are not confined to a group of persons in touch with the r heart of affairs who exalt scandal into an art and redeem it to some extent by wit; they are to be found everywhere, in Blackheath or Hampstoad as well as in Mayfair, and the calumny is a dull r pedestrian performance, only making r itself ridiculous by its pretence of ac- 1 curate information. "There is noth- " ing," said Bacon, "makes a man sus- | pert much, more than to know little; and, therefore, men should ret., dy suspicion by procuring to know more, and not to keep their suspicions in smother. What would men have? Do they think those they employ and deal with are saints?" No; there Is no need to think that well known public men are saints; nor is there any necessity to listen to every breath of detraction which would make them out debauches or fools. A safe rule, in default of personal firsthand information about the intimacies of a man's life, would be to judge him solely by his "public form." "Suspicions that the mind of itself gathers are but buzzes; but suspicions that are artificially nourished and put into men's heads by the tales and whisperings of others have stings." We should think it perfectly safe to say offhand, and without investigation, that all the stories now current are untrue. Men whose occupation in life keeps them in the public eye certainly deserve to be protected from such aspersions, which often do not even know themselves to be malicious. Surely it is not too much for public men to ask for the same indulgence as is given to any criminal by the law. They have a title to be held innocent till they are proved guilty. If a man whose responsibilities are great is false to his trust and is clearly proved to be false, then by all means let the discredit into which he falls be proportionate to the magnitude of his defection; but sentence before trial is an infamous procedure. As to what we have called judgment by public form Sydney Smith said a very wise and penetrating thing: "You spend a great deal of ink about the character it the present prime minister. Grunt you all that you write; I say, I fear lie ivill ruin Ireland and pursue a line of policy destructive to the true interest af his country; and then you tell me ne is faithful to Mrs. Perceval, and kind to the Master Percevals! These ire, undoubtedly, the first qualifications ' m to be looked to in a time of the most 1 serious public danger; but somehow or mother (if public and private virtues oust always be incompatible), I should refer that lie destroyed the domestic g lappiness of NVoodlor Cockell, owed w For the veal of the preceding year. ? vhip|ied his boys, and saved his conn- 2! try." It is no duty of tlie public to play the ^ private detective. Judge a man by his p 'public form," so long as you have ho ossible means of judging him justly i.v any other. The principle is as sound is that of bearing with inconveniences ill they fester into crimes. "Ah," some 111 me may say, "then your conviction af:er all is that the only sin is to be 'ound out " "Nothing of the sort." we inswer: "but trial by public scandal is utrageous from every point of view." Experience shows the wisdom of the iile not to believe scandalous stories { >f public men. We venture to say that here are plenty of men over 40 who ccall with a sense of humiliation how vhen they were younger they believed mine cock and bull story about this or hat statesman which afterward turned nit to be as utterly ridiculous as it was ruel. Yet they heard it on what seem d the best authority. Scandalous sto- f ies were told of Mr. Gladstone by the nindred. Those who believed or half iclieved them at the time must now eel heartily ashamed of themselves. jpi den and women who would avoid a iinilar feeling ten or twenty years lence had better take our illustration ^ o heart. Hut is there nothing to be said In yplanation, if not in extenuation, of he prevalent gossip? We think that here is. If the nation should allow a rtaln standing credit to Its public ne'i. the public men owe a correspond- d ivg dutv to the people. They should bear themselves with dignity, remem- Perpetual Motion. y> bcring that even if they are indifferent Little Jimmy had arrived at the to charges of clowning as applied to questioning age. He had just made an If themselves, they have no right to al- inquiry concerning perpetual motion $ low such charges to be associated with of his father. ^ any important or ancient office under "No," said his father: "nobody has the crown. A cabinet minister, for ex- ever discovered perpetual motion yet." ? ample, may cut capers and compete Hut Jimmy was not quite satisfied, g with the whole political Held in vio- "What is perpetual motion like, dad?" lence and extravagance of phrase. ho asked next. 4 The old-fashioned notions of the His father thought a moment. "Why a olympian majesty of the great offices it's pretty hard to say, Jimmy," he re- ? of state may have been cultivated to plied, "hut It's something that keeps X the point of pomposity. But some pub- going and going forever. Here is an lie men of today are inclined to jump illustration. I once saw a woman in a 4 to the other extreme and to crack jokes train who had put on her gloves. Shp in their shirtsleeves with grinning au- then tried to button her right hand @ diences?audiences which are amused, glove, but she found that she must X no doubt, but are, we believe, profound- take off her left hand glove to do so. ly unimpressed. Those who have read She took it off and buttoned the right < "Oakfleld," a novel by W. D. Arnold, hand glove. Then she saw that in or- <g? the second son of Arnold of Rugby, will f]Pr to button her left hand glove she 2 remember how he set a high Ideal of must take off her right hand glove, X behavior before the young soldier sen*- which she did. Then she put on her * ing in India. It was too much, perhaps jeft hand glove, buttoned it and put on ^ to expect the roystering subaltern to the right hand one again. But she * wear an air of sedateness. remember- couldn't button her right hand glove ? Ing that he was a member of the rul- with her left hand glove on, so she S ing race and that every hour took off? That. Jimmy," he said after * and every moment his conduct a pause for breath, "is what perpetual ^ was under the scrutiny of impas- motion would be like if you could get sive but intensely curious Indians, who jt," w constructed out of their observations ^ | $ some theory of the character of the strange white nation which destiny ,;t"; Women are better than men, be- ^ had sent to govern them. Yet there cause they do not have women to 4? .I- _I 1 M i _A ...n-t. ?_ t,I thum Smart Set 2 was ilie simpie laci, as in wmrn at- > - liold made no mistake whatever, that v i Jolly evening in tlie mess contribut- lA/HiT T|IC IfllUVICV lift ?d to the total Impression which was WllAI' I Kit KVIUIitl UUi ? gradually being beaten out on the na- 4 live mind. How much greater is the _ responsibility of a chancellor of the ex- Their Unceasing Work Keeps Us rhequer, or of a secretary of state, than Strong and Healthy. J' that of a subaltern! If the public are ... ^ , *J , . ,. . , , ,, , , ? All the blood In the body passes to be discouraged from believing idle through thf. kidneys once every three rumors, we say frankly that one of the minutes. The kidneys filter the blood, first precautions to be taken by public They work night and day. When , 11 * healthy they remove about f>00 grains men Is the avoidance of "all appear- of ,mJpure maUer da?y whe" un_ ince of evil." The public will believe healthy some part of this impure matess when less occasion is given to them ter is left in the blood. This brings to think their scandals credible. It Is on many diseases and symptoms. ? . ? .... pain in the back, headache, nervouslot enough for a public man to be able nesSi hot, dry skin, rheumatism, gout, f to say: "My conscience is clear: my gravel, disorders of the eyesight and I ictions, if properly and justly judged, hearing, dizziness, irregular heart, |. , , ,,. "Tr ? debility, drowsiness, dropsy, deposits ?lve no cause for scandal. He must jn tl)e urine. etc. Hut If you keep the le able to say: "I have maintained the niters ;ight you will have no trouble B llgnlty of mv position, and have not with your kidneys. riven even an excuse for gossip."? ^ London Standard. W. A. McCorkle. 240 E. Black St.. Rock Hill, S. C., says: "I used Doan's ' Kidney Pills with the most satisfactory p ..Qiiitu i was troubled bv severe uains Pleased His Majesty.-The flnrk in "the-small " of my back for several I nonareh from sunny Africa was being weeks and at times sharp, shooting ihown over an engineering establish- twinges darted through my kidneys. _ nent in an English city bv the mana- 'n the morning I always suffered more , , , , " , severely. Some time ago I procured ? jer, who in explaining the work of cer- a b()X nf Kidney Pills and they :aln machinery unfortunately got his cured the attack. I have not been :oattails caught In it and In a moment bothered since then and consequently vas being whirled round at so many *lve tl,ls n'mec,y my *n<,orse evolutions per minute. Luckily for the ' nanager, his garments were unequal to he strain of more than a few revolu- I or sa,e by a" dealers. Price CO ions, and he was hurled, disheveled cents- 1* oster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, ind dazed, at the feet of the visitor. New York' aole agents for the United That exalted personage roared with States. aughter and said something to his in- ^"'ember the name-DOAN S-and erpreter. take no other"Sah," said that functionary to the ~ nanager, "his majesty say he am ber- IMfW DFDl'i-'f TI AI\1 y pleased with de trick an* will you , ?i iJ on .. Wink Rlup Flamp Oil )ieas<? uo u again ; ??Keiciiy mis. - - ?? ^ Cook-Stove ,t-. The king and tiueen of Itnlv sepk Ideal for Summer cooklnK. Cuts fuel expense ? 11. f f : .r, . J i J i i i In two. Saves labor. (lives ele..n nulck ret'lief from state and social burdens by suita. Three sires fni'r etirlng all alone to a small island in STANDARD OIL. CO. he Mediterranean. ^^?. ? A mHBHHBBHHHnni YORKVILLE B. & MER. CO. CUTS FACTORY PRICES ON C Stetson's Oxfords f FOR MEN. 3 Fi Bl They are here in good styles in Vici, Patent and Tan Leathers and in all to sizes, and they go like this: $5 Oxfords Now Go at $3.50 Pair. ha ?r ? n/\iTm a m Avrnn rvo an W. L. UUUOLAy UArUKLto. $4.00 Quality Oxfords Now Go at $3.00 Pair \ 3.50 Quality Oxfords Now Go at 2.50 Pair 3.00 Quality Oxfords Now Go at 2.25 Pair We are also making material reductions in If the prices of Boys' and Misses' Oxfords and it is worth while to see us before buying Oxfords, or. as we will save you from 25 to 50 per cent on the in Shoes you buy. bi ,, in THESE PRICES ARE FOR CASH ONLY. soi YORVILLE BANKING & MERCANTILE CO. 5 ????? ?' r>^T-?-r-?-r^T^ RIDDLE AUTO CO. ?, " * f r. Rinni f propriftor i <h\ ^ ^ ^ _ .. aci We have opened an Automobile Ga- hif Try one can of "Roth's Deliqht," ?age In the Herndon building. York- Ml round Coffee. It is a monev saver, ville, and will be pleased to talk Auto- pei ith the finest flavor. Stronger than mobile to those who are interested. 1 ny other kind-no matter what the We a|.,, ?an,lllng the RE0 anJ the f?, * iu U?L J :m ' <,:,nS " CHALMERS-DETROIT, two of the M ) Cents the Pound best Machines to be hail at anything ( I have loose Sour Kraut In barrels. ran*ln* from $70? to scl lso loose Sour Pickels in barrels, v*-!'30, ( nth nice at this time of the year. \\*e handle Automobile Supplies of nej ...... all kinds, and are selling Gasoline at Be Shad will be cheap this week?Roes 20 cents a gallon. ily 50 Cents. See us about a first-class, secondWill have them today-(Satnrday ^gain*0, that we are ofTer,n* at a ~ lotning.) jj. vou are |ntc?roi?tecl in Automobiles, do not fail to come and see us, for pj, whether we sell you or not, we are sure ? that we can be of very great assistance, p, LOUIS ROTH. t RIDDLE AUTO COMPANY, fed \va rat BLENN & ALLISON. CHEWING iS TOBACCOS 1 CHOICE RIGHT QUALITIES wll dorses and Mules AT RIGHT PRICES p" ln>? If you arc a u^er of the weed in the J*"6 plug shape, we want you to come and "JWo still have on hands a small so- let us show you what we have in good jj * ctlon of both MITIJCS and IIOKSKS. Chewing Tobacco, and let us make you ' prices by the pound or box. We can The best line of BUGGIKS and IIAU- certainly tit your taste in the quality? ijj KSK we have ever carried. we have variety enough to be able to *1y exactly meet your wants?and In the y,'" A good line of WAGONS. price we are sure that we can save * ", run. vou money. G#_? Call and see us for COI.h COT - I)(?vt forget Purina Feed for J*"' PLANTERS in all three styles. Horses, Mules, Cows and Chickens. Yours for service, niai Farmers' Wholesale Grocery, JJJJ jLFXN ALLISON J. M. FERGUSON. Prop. ' Clifl ;*+ ***** ***** ***** 4 *+ ***** ***** ***** T 1 ? "IT IS TI ; THAT BU | } | IT IS THE THRIFTY j $ IN THIi LliAl) OF THE RES' AND IT IS THE THRIF't | STANDS IN ADVANCE OF ! ? 4- The thrifty, energetic, pushing * find to be a banking man. He lias + protection and help the Hank ca jg patrons. You, who have not got $ you who want the best that can ^ want to come and join with this + A place for your hard earnir * You will never regret the day > 2 our bank. * Pour Per Cent Interest Paid o t The First Nai + Yorkville, J O. E. WILKIN'S, President. t*+ A ***** A +???+ A ***** A -i &* ** *** T ** *** T ***** i L. Williams. W. M. McConnell. L. WILLIAMS & CO. BIG " MUG BARGAINS: M to oys' Knickerbocker Suits at $2.50, $3, w $3.50 and $5. th len's Suits?nicely made?all this sea- C( son's goods at $6.50, $8.50, $10, $12 C( and $15. 3 SPECIAL PRICES ON ALL ODD ro ANTS. ai J. L. WILLIAMS & CO. r YORK'S CHEAPEST STORED , i Li sa JUST SEE ME or all kinds of Chewing and Smoking Tobacco, 1 Evangeline Syrup, Karo Syrup, n? Oatmeal in cans for summer use, Best Coffees and Teas?we are head- er an quarters. new shipment of Brooms?all sizes. an I. W. JOHNSON. C1 alt harden and 'ield Seed U We handle only such Garden and eld Seeds as experience has taught i are from the most reliable growers, ty your Garden and Field Seeds here d you will get exactly what you want, ie Very Best. We have Seed Pota- f01 es, several varieties; Onion Sets and full variety of Garden Seeds. ita \MM & CO'S CLOTHES Are fitters and are fit to wear. The w style book for Spring and Sum- foi er wear is now here and if you want e best Tailor-Made Clothes you ever an d, come and see samples and styles d let me take your measure. No fit, er; sale. W. M. KENNEDY, Agent. m? re, J. C. WILBORN J rbaij estate ST YOU It PROPERTY WITH ME J YOU WANT TO SELL? 1 ? FOR SALE ? 1 122 Acres?S-room dwelling ;a fine ? ./ chard; lj miles Beersheba; 2 tenant * uses; 75 acres in cultivation, balance timber; the timber is original. 1191-2 Acres?Property of A. E. irns; two story dwelling; 45 acres $5( cultivation; 35 acres original forest, lance in pine. 128 Acres?Home place of J. F. Carn; good 6-room dwelling; land level; wr w barn, crib, cotton house. All nec- an> sary out buildings. A beautiful farm of Delphos. bei 122 Acres?J. T. Carson farm; ad- cai ns David Benfield and others. One suj elling, 5-rooms, good tenant house, eai io of the finest farms in the county. ?r 119 3-4 Acres?Joins lands of Mrs. wr L. McGill; one new 4-room house; Ne acres of fresh, new ground, balance wo wood; U mile Bethany High School. Ne 234 Acres?One 2-story, 8-room jus elling; good 5-horse farm open; 80 Gu res in timber; 4 good tenant houses, am rooms each; good barn. Land in chi jh state- cultivation. Joins J. r do itthews; 3 miles Bethany. Price * .. bu; r acre. bui 112 3-4 Acres?Joins John F. Smith; urn acres in cultivation; 52 in timber; wri Iwelling, 2 tenant houses; good new $50 in. Price 2,000. R. D. Wallace. wil Jne Lot, East Jefferson, near Graded to loot and Southern depot. thli Jne nice Cottage, East Jefferson, ^ tr Graded school. Property of Mrs. Rel rry?very cheap. tor J. C. WILBORN. jus big F" Your Job Printing? Send it to ?f ' e Enquirer for the Best Work at J?' ght Prices. X"' ' Sm xcursion Rates Via Southern Rwy. or i ICCUUIU IWHIUHI reunion, L IllU'll VOUorate Veterans, the Southern Kail- oil y announces very low round trip oiles to Mobile. Ala., tickets to be sold Re, ril 23, 24 and 25, limited to reach 2do Iflnal starting point, returning not pQ) r than midnight of May 2, 1910, un- "j? < extended at Mobile. Extension of -p..j il limit may be obtained until May enc h. by depositing tickets with Mr. wa, eph Richardson, special agent. Mo;, and upon payment of fee of 50 " ? ts. Special Pullman sleeping ear ^ I leave Columbia morning of April (-ar h, to run through to Mobile via Kel, Anderson, Seneca and Atlanta. 1 :ra coacli will leave Columbia mornof April 25, to run through to Mo!, going via Spartanburg and AtlanFor sleenintr ear reservations, an to S. H. McLean, P. & T. A., Coibia, S. C. Round trip rates from leipal points as follows. Bamberg, 55; Blacksburg, $11.75; Rlackville, ,15; Camden, $12.55; Chester, 11.S5; /~V umbia, $11.90; Oaffney, $11.60; V/ onville, $10.55; Orangeburp. $11.90; stal k Hill, $12.30; Spartanburp. $11.15; if lc nter. $12.75; Union, $11.75; York- if u f, $12.25. Proportionately low rates sion n other stations. For further infortion, tickets, etc., apply to Southern 6.1 I way ticket apents or address: J. I,. >k, Asst. Oen'l Agent, Atlanta, C,a? 9W W. E. McOee, Dlv. Passenper Apt nt, judc irleston; S. C. The -:*?*+ +*n*+ a +? **+ A +? * ***** T ***** ***** ?* IRIl'I" jjj ILDS UP | i: INDIVIDUAL THAT IS ?| T or THE COMMUNITY *1 T SETT EE ME NT THAT ! /'///; tf&ST. 11 -4 * individual, you will generally *,3, ; learned the convenience, the ^ p. 11 give and does give to its ?* ten into this good habit, and *2 be offered, are the ones we ; Bank. |* igs, a place for your savings. on turn your steps towards ** ?1 n Time Money. tional Bank, ?f , s. c. \t R. C. ALLEIN, Cashier. A *5*?+ A +#??* A +$* ***** ?*? ?? ? *&* LIIMIIE I IGHT NOW?TODAY?IS A GOOD TIME TO BEGIN USING LIME ABOUT YOUR PREMISES FOR SANITARY PURPOSES. Lime is always cheaper than docirs' bills, and for general sanitary urposes there is nothing superior to ood Lime, Plentifully Used. Just remember, if you raise chickens, lat in a very short time now, the pother will tret warmer ana ehieken ites and Lice will appear. The way i put a stop to these pests?the best ay? is a free use of Lime. Sprinkle le floors of the chicken house and tops with lime; whitewash the roosts, tops and walls with lime; make a box feet square and fill It with lime and tad dust for a dust bath for chickens, id the pests will bother your chickis but little. J. J. KELLER CO W Be sure to see us for the Beet ime?as the Best Lime Is very neces-' try. Phone your order for a barrel. J. M. BRIAN COMPANY The Fancy Grocers NEW ARRIVALS. Fresh Mackerel, barrel Pickles, Can d Tomatoes, Porto Rico Molasses, raporated Apples, Snowfiake Cracks, Chestnuts. All kinds of Candles iu (janes. in ice Appies. We have a complete line of Chewing id Smoking Tobaccos. Try some Pure Apple Vinegar. When In need of Garden Seeds?try ^OSMAN'S, they are the best. We sa have seed Irish Potatoes. J. M. BRIAN COMPANY. lawls Plumbing Co. Wanted At once two or three Plumbing Jobs r people who want High Grade, Sanry Plumbing and Prompt Service. We advertised a couple of weens ago r two or three Jobs and we got them d have completed the work and evybody Is happy. We are now ready for two or three >re jobs. Let us know when you are ldv. BAWLS PLUMBING COMPANY. VHICH? )0 for a New Typewriter? or ) for a Rebuilt Typewriter? Almost all of the Standard Typeiters, when new, sell at $100 each, d it Is to be presumed that every one them Is worth the price. The numr of New Machines sold would indite that $100 is not too much, but ppose you need a Typewriter andi secure a Factory Rebuilt Machine lot simply overhauled?but a Typeiter with New Type, New Platen, w Parts, (where *old parts are m); Newly Enameled and Striped, wly Plated Nickel Parts, and Readted, practically a New Machine, aranteed to Last and Wear as well d Do as Good Work as a New Mane, at a saving of $30 to $50, which you think you would buy? As a iiness man you would buy the ReiIt Machine, wouldn't you? You are 3er no special obligation to the typeIter builders, are you? The $30 to saved in buying a Rebuilt Machine 1 be worth just as much to you as the original builders, won't it? We nk so. Ve can sell you Rebuilt Machines? built in an especially equipped facy by experts?any one of a dozen or re different makes of Typewriters, t the machine you want?at a good, saving. Let us tell you the price i machine of your choosing. A poscard will bring the information. ? price are something like this: ith Premier No. 2, $42 to $52. ith Premier No. 2, two or three colribbons, $5 extra. C. Smith, visible, $60 to $70. ver. No. 3, visible, $45 to $52. , ver. No. 5, visible, $60 to $68. nington. No. 6. $35 to $50. narchs, visible, $65 to $70. c. visible, $60 to $70. I very business man should use a >ewriter i??r an Business corresponae?It's the modern way?the safe See us about a Typewriter for r business. r See us for Typewriter Papers, bons and Typewriter Ribbons. M. GRIST'S SONS, Typewriter Department, YORKVILLE, S. C. MONEY TO LEND N improved farms in York County, repayable in five easy, annual inIments. Interest: Seven per cent >an is $1,000 or over; eight per cent inder $1,000. No broker's commiss. C. E. SPENCER, Attorney at Law. t f.t tf. ' Your business correspondents je you by your Stationery. Use Enquirer kind.