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..?:??*l ,:t ./.' .i ? "?;>/.'.?:>) V;auei:..'. ; r.i '. ' . ? ?. ?aittriimiiul fas* ????<? d ?u) i.-i.ivd Ja/, oj mat b?d JjiliTitrf ,-.. >v?tiilKlo') vidim'i ^k|^*fl-r*nT utul-^Jr^wT olid li> i Mai urn t>?taia<}({>t n? i . ? i. . ???121 am bind Hi w 1 im ,<j .?u* uiii n i r ? H *?*{*?? rittl ?dl 0?? MT>:>i7'<> ftvoT fol ii'dl diiLi-i t, .Uf nil I .3.r7*'>.Y:i^-!iii.'.' ni/t! i .113 ?. ;!?? i J_-.Ii 11 IIh? ?oaf'I lint 'jtix o> T-'Mtr'Hi" ?. . ti n i. ? -1/ GOD AJNTD OXJm COUNTRY. TT SATURDAY MORNING, JUNE 12, L869. lW IKfcYO Woman, and how She .%\m?k %???.?..?.' *WJj -fl 1 ' .d j-> ' ? .1 .t - 'III**'/ . i (? f.. I ^WMManMet**loofec 1 PaStdemdnlum in rebellionT^V??w?, turned insido out! WBj?^.^vto .reason a man cannot be al lowed to sleep in tho morning without thh evXtfiasting racket raised about his teassf* * - GMldnear cryidffr?doors slam ming?I will know the reason of all this uproar I* Mr.' Luke Darcy shut tho door of his bed -oom with considerable emphasis. *' VtUfa straight to the breakfast par ?or. AJ1 was bright and quiet and pleasant tHttfe ^ the coal snapping and sparkling in the grate, the china and silver neatly srW4C^**K' ow BP?tless damask cloth, and the green parrot drowsily winking hia yellow eyes in ti e sunny glow of the eastern window?Bedlam plainly wasu't located just there, and Mr. Darcy went stormingly up stairs to the nursery. Ah ! tho field of battle was gained at last, i t&tlro. Doroy sat in ber little low chair before the fire, trying to quiet the screams of au eight months old baby scion of the house of Darcy, while another?a boy of five years?lay on his back,, prone on the floor, kicking and crying in an ungovernable fit of childish passion. ,**Ma?* B ur?cy I" enunciated Luke, with a alow and ominous precision, "may I inquire what all this means ? Are you aware that it is fifteen minutes past nine o'clock ? Do you kuow that breakfast is waiting P* "I know Luke?I know'," said poor, perplexed Mrs. Darcy, striving vainly to lift tho rebellious urchin up by one arm, "Come, Freddy, you are going to be good now, mamma, is sure, and get up and be washed." > "No?o?I" roared Master Freddy, performing a brisk tattoo ou the carpet with his' heJs, and ohwing the air fil ing -vulture, Mr.'T>otwj pounced abruptly down on his son and heir, and carried him promptly to the closet, and turned the key upou his screams. "Now, sir, you can cry it out at your leisure. Kvelyn, nurse is waiting fur the baby. We'll go dowu and breakfast." "But, Luke," hesitated Mrs. Darcy, "you won't leave Freddy there." "Won't; I'd like to know why not? It's temper, and nothing else, that is at tho bottom of all of these demonstra tions, and I'll conquer that temper or I'll kuow the reason why. It ought to have becu checked long ago, but you arc so ridiculously indulgent. There is noth ing I have so little tolerance for as a bad temper?nothing that ought to be so promptly and severely dealt with." "But if he'll say he's sorry Luke ?" Mr. Darcy rapped sharply at the pan els of the door: "Aro you sorry for your naughtiness, young man ?" A fresh outburst of screams and a re newal of the tattoo was the answer. "I am sura he is sorry, Luke," pleaded the all-extenuating mother, but Mr. Darcy shook his head. "Entire submission is the only thing I will listen to," be s ud shortly. "I tell vou, Evelyn, I am determined to uproot this temper." Evelyn, with a dewy moisture shadow - iug her eyelashes, and a dull ache at her heart, followed her licga lord down to tho breakfast table, with as little appetite for tho coffee, toast and eggs as might be A tall, blue-eyed young lady, with a prolusion of bright chesuut hair, and cheeks like rose velvet, wus already at the table when they descendod, by name of Clara Pruyn, by lineage Mrs. Darcy's sister. She opened her eyes rather wide o? the two eutercd. "Good gracious, Evy, what's the mat ter?" "Nothing," answered Luke, tartly. Mrs. Darcy, you appear to forget that I have eaten uo breakfest." -Something is the matter, though," said Clara shrewdly. "What is it Eve lyn? Has Luke had one of his tan trums ?*' Luke set down bis coffee cup w ith a sharp "click." "You use very peculiar expressions, Miss Pruyn." '?Very true ones," .said Clara saucily. Evelyn smiled iu spite of hcrsoii. "It's only Freddy, who feels a little cross, and?1*" "A little cross 1" interrupted the in dignant husband. "Itcli you, Eyclyn, ?Vs out to, time tb.it temper was ch:cked. Ob, that Sarrvt ! what an intoipfsblo acreecVlrijJibeyieena! upi.b Afa^s-Uke that bird into the kitolioD? qv I shall bo tcmptod to wring its nook. Strange that a man can't havea little peace Once in awhile ! What docs ail the eggs, EvoJyu ? I thought I had asked you to sec that they were boiled fit for a Christian to cat." Mr. Darcy gave his egg, shell and all, a vindictive throw upon the grate. Evelyn's brown eyes sparkled dangerous ly as she observed tho manoeuvre, but she made no remark. "Aud the plates are as cold as stone, when I've implored you agaiu and again, that they might be warmed. Well, I shall eat uo breakfast this morning." "Whom will you punish most?" de manded Miss Clara. "Evelyn, give me ' another cup of coffee j it is perfectly de lightful." Luke pushed his chair back with a Tcngeance, and took up his stand with his back to the tire, both hands under his coat tails. "Please sir," said the servant, advan cing, "tho gas bill?tho man says would you settle it while?" "No I" roared Luke tcmpestuousl), "Tell the man to go about his business j I'll havo uo small bills this moruiug, aud I won't be so persecuted !" Mary retreated precipitately. Clara raised her long brown eyolashes. "Do you kuow Luke," sho said de murely, "I think you would feel a great, deal better if you would do just as Fred dy does?lie down flat on tho floor aud kick your heels agaiust the carpet for a white. It's an excellent escape valve when your choler gets the better o* you." Luke gave bis mischievous sister-in law n glance that certainly ought to havo annihilated her, aud walked out ot the room, clostug the door behind him with ?i B.fng that would hear no interpretation. Then Clara cainc.aroim^^^^i^e?-: tWAf^'""'-:-'1'' hc-i^pink iTaco in Evslyn'.s neck. "Don't HCold tue, Evy, please?I know I've been very naughty to tease Luke so !" ?"You have spoken nothing but the truth," said Evelyn, quietly, with her coral lips compressed, and a scarlet spot burning on cither cheek. Clara, 1 some times wonder how J can endure the daily cross of my husband's bad temper." "Temper !" said Clara, with a toss of her chosnut brown hair. "And the poor dear fellow hasn't tho leait idea how dis agreeable he makes himself." "Only this morning," said Evelyn, "he punished Freddy with unrelenting severity for a fit of ill humor Which lie himself has duplicated within the last half hour. I am not a moralist, but it strikes me that the fault is rather more to be censured in a full-grown reasoning man than in a child." "Evelyn," said Clara gravely, ' do you suppose he is beyond the power of cure?" "I hope not; but what can I do? Shut him up as he shut up little Fred ?V ?" Evelyn's merry, irresistible laugh was checked by the arch, peculiar expessiou in Clara's blue eyes. "The remedy need* to bo something and sharp," said Clara, "atld this dark cioaot system wrtr,:u!y combine? both requisites. Tears and hysterics were played out long ago in matrimonial skirmishes, you kuow, Evy." "Nousetise !" laughed Mrs. Darcy, rising from the breakfast table, in answer to her husband's peremptory summons from above stairs, while Clara shrugged her shoulders and went to look for her work-basket. Luke was standing in front of his bu reau drawer. Hinging shirts, collars, cra vats and stockings recklessly upon the bed-room lloor. "I'd like to know where my silk hand kerchiefs are, .Mrs. Darcy ?" no fumed. "Such a state as my bureau is in is enough to drive a man crazy I" "It's enough to drive a woman crazy, I '.hink !" said Evelyn, hopelessly,stoop ing down to piek up a few of the scat tered articles. "You were at the bureau last, Luke It is your old fault I" "My fault?of course it's my fault!" snarled Luke, giving Mrs. Darcy'm poodle a kick that sent him howling to his mistress. "Anyth ng but a woman's retorting, recriminating tongue. Mrs. Darcy, 1 won't endure it any longer!" "Neither will I !" said Evelyn, reso lutely advancing, as her husband plunged into the closet after his business coat, .??jd promptly shutting aud lockii'g the door, "I tjiuiV^I'v? e?duied it long enough?and here, is an eud of it !" '^jrfl. IfJaYcy^, "open the door !" said Luke, scarcely ?tjle,'' to J?f^it .the evi dence ot his own senses. . . "I pnalt aq' uo> such thing," said Mis. Darcy, composedly, beginning to re-ar range shirtsj stockings and flanuel wrap pers iu their appropriate receptacles. ''Mrs, Dur?ey !" roared Luke, at a fever beat of impotent rage, "what on earth do you mean 1" "I mean to keep you iu that clothes press, Mr. Darcy, until you have made up your mind to come out iu a more amiable frame ot mind. If the system succeeds with Freddy, it certainly ought to with you; lam sure your temper is much more intolerable than his." There was a dead silence of full sixty seconds iu the elost, thcu a sudden burst of vocal wrath. "Mrs. Darcy. open the door this in stant, madam ?" Dut Evelyn went on humming a saucy littly opera air, and arranging her clothes. "Do you hear me ?" "Yes?I bear you." "Will you obey me?" "Not until you have solemnly prom ised me to put some sort of eontrol on that temper of yours; not until you pledge yoursell to treat your wife ?8 a lady should be treated; uot a menial." "1 wou't !" "No? Then in that case I hops you don't lind the atmosphere at all oppres sive there, as I thiuk it probable you will remain there some time !" Another sixty seconds of dead silence, thcu a suddcu rain of hi els ami bauds against the relentless wooden panels. "Let me out, 1 say, Mrs. Darcy ! mad am, how dare you perpetrate this mon strous piece of audacity?" "My dear luko, how strongly you do remind me of Freddy. You see there is* 'U/ilw'"-' *? have v lit?e^h?-? ni?rf r m a had teniper. It ought to have been checked long ago, only you know I'm so ridiculously indulgent." Mr. Darcy winced a little at the famil i?r sound of his own words. Tap-tap-tap came softly at the door. Mrs. Darcy composedly opened it, and saw her husband's little office boy "Please, mem, there's some gentlemen at the office in a great hu?ry to sec Mr. Darcy. It's about the Applcguto will case." Mrs. Darcy hesitated an instant ; there was a triumphant rustle iu the closet, and her determination was taken at once. "Tell the gentlemen that your master has a bad headache, and won't be down town this morning." Luke gnashed his teeth audibly as soon as the closing of the door admonish ed him that be might do so with safety ??Mrs. Darcy, d > you presume to inter fere with the transaction of business that is vitally important, ma'am, vitally im portant !" Mrs. Darcy u nchulautly took up the little opera air where .-he hud left it, let ting (he soft Italian words musically oil her tongue. "Evelyn, dear !" "What is it. Luke ?" she asked mild I.V. ?Tlease h t :r.c out. My dear, this may be a j ke to you, hut?f f "I assure yo*i, Luke, it's nothing of tho kind. it is tho soberest of serious matters to no. It is a question whether my future life shall he miserable or hap py There was a third interval of silence. "Evelyn," said Luke, presently, in a suddued voice, "will you open the door?' "On one condition only." "And what is that !" "Ah, hn !" thought the little lieuten ant-general, "he's beginning to entertain conditions of capitulation, is ho? On condition," she added aloud, "that you will break yourself of the habit of speak ing crossly and shariy to me, and on all occasions keep your temper." "My temper, indcod 1" sputtered Luke ??Just, you? temper," returned his wile, t.creuely. "Will you promise ?" '?Never, madam !" Mrs. Darcy quietly took up a pair of hose that required mending, and pre pared to leave tho apartun ut. A;, the door croaked on its hinges, however, a voice came shlly through the opposite keyhole. "Mrs. Darcy, Evelyn! wife! wife!" "Yos." "You arc not going down stairs to leave mc in this place? "I am." "Well, look hcrV?I promise." "All and everyth ?\g thrft T require ?" "Yes, al! and everything that you re quire?confound it .1! I" Wisely deaf to t' o muttered sequel, Mrs. Darcy openedehe door, and Luke .,(..!!.! ^..? l?^l.;...? ..i.-Vtf A....*. tho top of her shinieg brown hair. Suddenly a little detaining hand was laid on his coat slccj'o "Luke, dear?" "Well ?" "Won't you givo ihe a kiss ? And Mrs. Darcy iurst out crying on her husband's ehoul >er. "Well!" ejaoulaU ft the puzzled Luke, "if you aren't the gl j?test enigma going. A kiss ? Yes, a ha f doa^n of 'em if you want, you kind >earted> Httlo turn key. Do not cry p I, I'm not angry with you, although 5 isupposc 1 ought to be." j "And may I lef l; eddy out?" "Yes, on tho stunt 'terms that his papa was released. Evclt i, was very intoler able?" "If you hadn't be jn, Luke, t never should havo venture ^ on such a violent remedy. "Did I irake you^ery unhappy? "Very." And the gush of \C.irm sparkling tears supplied a dictiouarylfull of words. Luke Darcy buttonfed up his ovorcoat, put on his hat, shouldered his umbrella, and wfent to the Ajplegatc will case, musing as ho went u?>n the new state of affairs presented hf elf for his consid eration. "By Jove," he ejaculated, "that little wite of mine is.a'Xi-iid woman and a plucky cue !" %ut a laughing on the steps. It is more than ? j his stock of bad U ings that d-v. ^ never ??aW at ?able thft he left [r in tl- > law build ? fltt. -jftd Clara r^dd y elenicnt in his infantifle disposition. .Men. after all, are but children of a larger growth; and to Mrs Evelyn Darcy had reasoned. - ??Wm>?- i? Don't do it.? Don't speak that harsh unkind word, and thus make Bad the heart of another. Speak gently; 'tis better. Don't make the burden of nuothei heavier when it is in your powt r t.. lighten the same. Keep in good humor; angor is a waste of vitality. No man and no hoy does his best except when ein ei ful. A light heart makes nimble hands, and keeps the body healthy and free. Don't let others say that you arc 1 fish, and care only for yourself Don't live for your own comfort aud cujnymcul alone; live lor others. Don't it iglect that precious soul com mitted i" your charge; remember it must liv lot ever. Don't turn away from the Bible; it is the book by which you will be judged. Lkakn to Wait.?-Of all lessons that humanity has to learn in life's school, the hardest is to learn to wait. Not t>> wail with the loldcd hands that claim life's prizes without previous effort, but having struggled and crowded the slow years with trial, sec uv such icjuU as effort s.cais to wViTant- nay, perhaps, disaster instead. To stoud firm at . uclt a crisis of existence, not to losu hohl or to relax effort, this is greatness, whctli ;r achieved by mau or woman, whether the eye of the world notes it. or it is rt cordt ?1 in that 1.k which the light of eternity shall alone make clear to the vision, A VaI.I .\lll.E BoY.-?"What can you do?" nsked a traveler of a country urchin who was in front of a farmer's house tickling a t< ad with a long straw. "Oh, 1 can do mor's considerable?I rides (ho turkeys to water, milk> the gees-', ends doWU the old rOOStcr, ptit.> up the piijH tails in paper, to make 'cm curl, hamstrings the grasshoppers, make fires for Hies to court by, keep tally for daddy and mammy when they scold at a mink, and cuts the buttons off daddy's coat, when he's at prayer in the inoru ing." A country man who had never paid moro than twenty-five cents to sec an exhibition, went Wednesday night to a Pittsburg theatre to see the "Forty Thieves." The ticket seller charged him fifty cents for n ticket. Passing th? pasteboard back, ho quietly remarked, '?Koop it, mister; I don't want to sec the other thirty-nine," and out he inar ched. Keep jour Little Brother out ot' the Room. John Smith?you've- hoard of him? is very bashful; is too bashful, in truth. Ho was born and raised in the'country. His father gave him a good education, and allows him plenty of money. Hut John, with all other attachments, never could accustom himself to the society of females, not because he did not like the girls, but because his shy nature would uot permit him to associate with the fair sex. It once happened?not very long ago cither?that John's lather had some very important business to trausact in the city, lie also hud some very par ticular affairs to atteud to at home, which demanded his personal attention, and not possessing the power of ubiquity, he delegated his son John to transact that in the city. Johu being thus commissioned, im mediately proceeded to the city, and to the residence of his father's old friend, whom he found to be a very nice old gentleman, with a beautiful daughter, and gold spectneles. John was ushered into the parlor fa new thing for him), and motioned to a seat?no ! a sufa, (another new thing.) But WO must use his own language : I took nvy seat and ^ladc observations. Everything was fine . bine carpets, line sofas, fine tables, fin" curtuius, fine books, tine everything, ami especially a tine young lady, who was dressed in fine silk, fine salin, and who bad fine curls, and a fine appearance generally. After chatting with the old gentleman a few minutes, he took down his hat, told me to make myself at home for an h^ur or two, and left?left me alone with bis daughter, aud a small mischievous boy, jJie young lady's brother. 1 didn't relish the aitualiou at all. The idea of i keeping a city belle engaged in convcrsa m^^i for iw^^j^s; pel dj^^^^^nce^ reigned in the pallor for a snort tune, you may but. I amused myself as much us possible with the boy?that is. I loan, d him my knife ami watch-key, and watched him cut holes in the carpet with one und spoil the other. I dou't know what I would have dorm had it not been tor that boy?he was so good to attract one's attention, you know. It'.- true he asked some startling ques tions, occasionally, such as this, for in fetni.; Are you goin' to court sister Emily '" but sueli things must be ex pected under such circumstance. Mi.-s I'huiiy, thinking, no doubt, that to be a good hostess, lh.it sin- must keep liergttest engaged u con versa tiou, asked me "how I liked country life," etc. She said that - it must ben beautiful sight to set; tin- laborers, male and female, romp j ing on the new mown hay on New Vear's j Day; that she always did think she would like to spend a Christmas in the country a tiut-gathcring with the village bids aud lasses ? lh.it it always hud been a mystery to her, how they got eggs oil thr trees without breaking tb- in." In return, I thought to keep up my point id' the conversation, it w.is necessa ry for me to quote poetry ami the line, which I did. Among other quotations, 1 unfortunately repeated the well-kuowu line o-i' Shakspearo I "There is a divinity thai shapes ?>ui cuds, i Rougli !iv>? (hcai a ivc will." At this juncture, the boy, who bad perched himself upou my knees, looked very earn stly iu my laue and said: "Divinity shaped the end of your uoto mighty citrus.' I'm certain that I w i.-Iu d :?> niebody would spank the young rascal. We talked of hills, mountains, valleys, cataracts?1 believe I said water falls, when the boy spoke up and said : "Why, sister's got a trunk full of em up stair.- -pap say.- they are made ol horse-hair." This ro vela tiou stiuek terror into me aud blushes into the checks of my fair companion It began to bo very apparent to me thai I must be vor) guarded tu what I said, lest siid boy might slip iu his re marks ut uncalled for pi.ices; in tact 1 turned my conversation to him. I told him he ought to go homt with me, and sec what nice < bicker..-, we had iu the country. Uuluckily I mentioned a yokts of calves my brothers owned. The word calves ruined n!i. The little fellow looked lip and said: lister's got a dozen ot 'em, but she don't wear'em only when she goes up town o' windy days'' "Leave the room, you unmannerly lit tle wretch!" exclaimed Emily, "leave immediately '" "I know what you want mo to leave for," replied he; "you can't fool me? you want to sit in that man's lap, and kiss him like you did Bill Simmons the other day-?you can't fool me, IUI- j?s' tell you. Gin mc some candy, like he did ; then I'll go. You think because you've got the Grecian bend that you're smart. Guess I known a thing or two. I am mud at you, anyhow, 'cause pap would a bought mc a top yesterday, if it hadn't been for you getting them curls, dog-gone yer ! You needn't turn so red in the face, 'cause I can't see it for the paint. There ain't no use winkiu' at mc with that glass eye o' yours, 'cause I ain't goin' out'n here, now that's what's the matter with the purps. I don't care if you arc tweuty-eight years old, you 'ain't no boss o' mine, you old fool." That is all of the story that John re lated. He says he don't know how he got out of the scrape. The Houest Lawyer. "Arc you the lawyer?" said a young man, hastily taking off his bat. "Yes, sir, that's my business; what can I do for you ?" x "Why something of a job, I reckon. Tho fact is, I have gotten into a little, trouble, and want a bit of help." And he took out a five dollar bill aud laid it on the table. The young lawyer made uo motion to ward taking it. Client.?Why don't you Like it ? I don't call it pay. but to begin with?a kind of wedge?what do you. call it? Lawyer.? itetentiou foe, I presume you mean. Client.?Just so, and by your taking it you a:e my lawyer. So take it. Lawyer.?Not quite so fast, if you please. State your case, aud theu I will tell you whether or uot I will take the r*^ jjty~B^^S^^|^y^|J^|^BlByr^i%8'^,^aBq JVai ply this: Last spring 1 was doing a lit tle business by way of selling meat. So I bought a yoke of oxen of old Major Farnsworth. 1 was to havo them for one hundred dollars. Lawyer?Very well?what became of the oxen. Client.?Butchered and sold out, to be sure. Lawyer.?By you? Client.? Yes. Lawyer.?Well, whole's the trouble? Clieut,?Why, they say that, as I ou ly gave my note for them, 1 need not pay it, and 1 want you to help me to get j clear of it. J Lawrer.? How do you expect mc to do it ? Clieut.? I'laiu as day, man; just say, Gentlemen of tho Jury, this young man was not of age when he gave Major Farusworth tho note, and, therefore, in /air, the note is gooO iur nothing? that's all: Lawyer.?And was it really so? Client. - - Exactly. Lawyer.?How came Major Fnrns worth to ht you have the oxen? Client.?Oh ! (ho godly old man never suspected that I was under ago. Lawyer.?What did you get for the oxen in selling them out ? Client.?Why somewhere between one hundred and thirty, and one hundred and forty dollars. They were noble fel i.iWS. Lawyer -And .>o you want me to help you cheat that honest old man out of these oxen, simply because the law, this human imperfection, gives you the oppor tunity to do it! No, sir; put up your retention fee. I promised my dying mother never to do such a thing, aud I will die first. Aud as for you. it I wan ted to help you to go to the State's prt Bon, 1 could take no course so sure as to do what you oiler to pay me for doiug.? Ami, depend upou it, the lawyiricho does help you, will bo yo.tr worse enemy.? I rlead minority! No; go sir, aud pay for your oxen honestly- -ami live and act on the principle, that, let what will come, you will be on honest man. A New Orleans widow of a week was wooed by au impulsive suitor, who, after obtaining her consent to a marriage in a fortnight, borrowed ton dollars, and deserted her. She told her tale to the Recorder. "Well, exclaimed the?urprised o?jcijl, "this is a littlo ahead of anything I ever hoard of." ? Yes, sir," replied the lady, "it docs ?o boat all, uot that I care anything ab out the money, but I don't like being look i " CAfT; A.-.lAHtitp?. young mau stood \ift\tm **ft*\gh auglors ou n bridge. I?b *?S t*0?* dejected. At iaBt, apprbaoturig ftrJ' ailed with wholesoind ef?o1Sl5,1 ^bedi r?h>*o?3m ?**??!?? 1 "Ifnow I b*4g**Mi nW*?" py, I could sell theto a* ft fl4*MjPI^I buy food and lodgidgsfjj i***C litjjal ? "I will give you just as many ^j|TV, as good fish," said the owner, wb? eed to overhear liis Words", ff^?it^?^a? me a trifling favor." "And what is that?" asketj eagerly. * ' A "Only to tetid td this Iis? Uli I back, I wish to go on a short i Tbc proposal was gladly ee The old man was gone so long young man Ijcgrtri to he lmpaiic?l? Meanwhile, baited hodk, a**^1**] man lost all his depression in the, meot of purling them in ; and, owner of the line returnod he had I a largo number. Counting them as many as were in lEV1 presenting them to the yomig old fisherman said: "I fulfill my promise from the fish jOtfc have caught, to teach you, whenever Jfllj see others earning what you m"%/^&A waste no time in fruitless wvMaVHnv cast a line for yourself^. A mau that was up to a thing or twd once offered to bet that he could fftSM* that this side of the river waa the &f/Uf tide. His challenge was so?? accepted; and a bet of ten dollars made j pointing to the opposite shore 0? flfo river, he shrewdly aflked: "Is not that one tide of the rim "Yes," was the immediate answer. "Agreed," said the man; "and it not this the other side ?" "Yes,"' saldvthc other. "Then," saidathe man, "pay nie tfe? veortnat-yf's sure is tlie other side." The dumbfounded antagonist, axvi conic by this profound logic, iuimcdidt^ ly paid the money. The Bourbon Prince and Mist II ?mal have again been married, This time bf a Catholic clcrgymau at Jersey Cftfc. Eugenie's last dinner toilet was a\ moonlit j*iay train* over white satin, w*A uarcis?US snd diamonds iu her phttt*9& hair. Young ladies should never abject Id being kissed by an editor. They should! make every allowance for the freedom 0T the prcs*. A Yankee doctor has discovered a tfeW tonic; it is extracted from sausage*, attfft called "sulphate of canine." Do tho best you can tffiatevet you, do Jcrtako. If you arc only a!fti:c'ct-sweep' er sweep yoitr very best. It is unwise to worry about What cart not be helped, and foolish to worry about what can be helped. Therefore tMnjr ' not at all. The ruiu of mo?t men dates from sonie idle hour. Occupation is an armor lo the sotii. Always refuse the added which rias sion gives. Mosloi the shadows that crosso#p^iiJl through life arc caused by our Standing if our owii lighl. If we would have powerful mhids, iW must think, if we would have fuihfui hearts, we must love; if wc would ba*w strong muswolos, we must labor. These? iucludo all that is valuable Id life; A tor hi to garment appears Worse with slight soiling (ban do colord garments much sailed; so a little fault iu a good man attracts more attention than grave offeuses iu had med. A colored woman, while blackberry iug, was run over and killed by the Northeastern cars on Sunday last. A large tiger made it? appearance newr the junotiou of Toby's Creek, Above Cof. Brown's mill pond, in Barnwell District,, on Mohday last. A joker lately declared thsl ft blitfd man, by taking something from the breakfast table, recovered his Slgttt. What did he take ? Ho .ook a tea-cup and saucer (sow, sir.) It is true of many persons that their memory is nothing but a row of hooVs to baug up grudges on. Not so niauy are the blades of grattr growing iu the field as are the gift* sjsjB mercies of God to those that have ft H0? in which they can grow. A wealthy and eeocntiio Ohioau hat made a will disinheriting all his heirs, and giving his fhrtuno to fouud an "i? <