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BOWSER'S^ ^ He Tries a.n Experimem History, and Succeeds [Copyright. hi" C. B. Lewis.] MR. BO\Y?Sk-u bad been home for a couple of hours and , eaten his dinner and smoked his cigar without bringing forward anything to startle Mrs. Bowser when the basement beli rang, and the cook brought up a covered basket left by a boy. "You surely haven't been getting another cat or rabbit?" queried Mrs. Bow-% j ser as she turned a shade paler. "Well, hardly," he replied. "Before , showing you the contents of tkis basket I wish to talk with you a minute. You I know I belong to a natural history club?" "Yes, I know, and you went out into | "I HAVE HERE A LOBSTER." the country once to see if cows slept standing up." I ."What? What's that? I never did j such a thing, and you know it!" "Then it was to see if possums went j to sleep with-their tails curled over a j limb. I know you were gone all night j and came home all tired out." "Never, woman, never! Do you take me for a born fool? I was going to tell you what I had in the basket and explain an experiment I was going to , make in ^ehalf of natural history, but now I':* oe hanged if I do! If I had your disposition I'd go and hang myself!" Mrs. Bowser apologized. It must have been some other man who went out to see about cows and possums? ! some Yale or Harvard professor. She : didn't mean- to be sarcastic or imperti- ! nent, and if he would forgive her and go ahead he should have no further cause to complain. It took several min- j .utes for the red to die out of his face \ and his feelings to become placid, and then he opened the basket and pointed ; to a large live lobster. It had been procured from a fish market and vras rest ing on a bed of wet seaweed. "Is?is it for breakfast?" she asked. "Of course not. It is to experiment 1 on, and I shall write a paper to be read THREE TIMES DID THE before the club. I hope to settle a | rouch disputed question within the next hour. Several years ago a French naturalist announced that the lobster was susceptible to music and that he had attracted thein to the shore in large numbers by playing on the mouth organ. He was at once ridiculed and hooted at, but I have been appointed a committee of one by my own club to investigate and report. I have here a lobster; I also have a mouth organ." "And you will play the mouth organ while the lobster dances?" Mr. Bowser's ears twitched and flis neck reddened up, but he swallowed the lump in his throat and replied: "I shall play the mouth organ and observe what effect it has on the specimen before us. You and the blamed old cat will please keep quiet for a minute. I will begin with something sad at first." He lifted up the little musical instrument and began the air of "The Old Oaken Bucket." As he reached the refrain the lob9tor moved one claw, but orhothur fvnin srricf or 1oV COUl?l not be told. The air was then changed to the "Swnnee River," and the lobster reached out the other claw and rattled it against the basket. "By Jove, but the Frenchman was right!" exclaimed Mr. Bowser ae he cut the music short. "You saw the lobster move both elaws, didn't you? He's D|SCOVERV t In Behalf of Natural ? So He Imagines J* pot a soul for music, and don't you forget H.;. I'll try him with something in | the jig line." He struck uu the air of "Buffalo ! Gals'' and patted time with his foot, and in half a minute the lobster not only clawed out. but humped his back j and gritted his teeth. With a smile of j triumph on his face Mr. Bowser changed j off to "Black Eyed Susan" and thence I to "Come Along, Moses," and the lob! ster fastened his claws into the basket and stood upright and quivered all over as if longing to get out and hoe it down. "Well, there's the experiment, and what do you think of it?" asked the investigator as he ceased to blow. | "The lobster seems to have beard K," | replied Mrs. Bowser, j "Heard it! Of course he heard It. ! Nothing else caused him to act that way. If I was to put him out on the grasg I believe I could draw him clear to the alley by playing long enough. I tell you that Frenchman was right, and | I'm going to back him up for keeps. I j don't know whether lobsters can love I or not, but I'll give him something to make his heart boat faster." It was "I've Lost My Nancy Lee," j and there were tears in the eyes of the ! player as he puffed out his cheeks. The i Inhster humned and wabbled about as 1 if trying to resist the influence of love, I but lie gave in at Inst and clawed his way to the edge of the basket and fell with a thud 011 the floor. "It fetched him; it fetched him!" shouted Mr. Bowser as he danced around. "Hereafter there will be no use for lobster pots. All one will have to do will be to stand 011 the beach and I blow a love air on a mouth oi'gan, and ! the lobster, will tumble over each other in their hurry to get ashore." j "Do you think it wns the music?" asked Mrs. Bowser in doubtful tones. "Of course it was. What else could it have been?" "I have heard that fish were attracted by a light at night and perhaps if s i the same with lobsters. You might I put him back and see if it was the light." "I tell you it was the music and nothing else," flrmly replied Mr. Bowser. "I consider the question solved beyond cavil, and what honor there is in the rediscovery will come to me. You can go to bed. and I shall at once proceed to the library and?get out with you!" The last words were addressed to the family cat, whose curiosity had been at fever heat ever since the basket was brought in. As the lobster fell to the floor she darted forward to make a close inspection, and next instant her tail was gripped by a couple of claws and she was circling around the room. "Durn her hide!" yelled Mr. Bowser, as he tried to head her off. "Stop her or*she'll break things!" added Mrs. Bowser as she looked around for the broom. Three times did the cat clrde the room, mewing and setting and wailing, and then of a sudden she shot through an open rear window and CAT CIRCLE THE ROOM. [ dropped into the yard, to be seen do ; more for three days and nights. "Do you think eats are susceptible to : music?" asked Mrs. Bowser as she be{ gan lifting up the chairs which had ; been upset in the row. "None o' your business 1" bluntly rej plied Mr. Bowser as he jumped off upS stairs to bed. M. QUAD. A Bereaved Htmband. "You look as If you were In trouble, my friend. Received bad news?" i "Yes. Here is a telegram which tells me that my wife drove a buggy and team into the river this morning and ; that they were washed away and drowned." "Good heavens! That is bad news in! deed!" "Isn't it? I don't care so much for the buggy, but that pair of horses cost | me $350 hard cash!"?Kansas City Journal. Proof Aboolato. Feters?What proof did the doctors have for declaring Brooks insane? Farr?He refused to take their medicine.?Baltimore American. Which? "Quietly, you know, Is tbe silent portI ner." j "At the office or at home?"?Cincinnati Commercial Tribune, t AT THE TOP. It is a lettable ambition to reach the top of the ladder of success. But many a man who reaches the a tor mo n t i ns to ad any or all of these svmotoms point to weaknessg Dr. Pierce's Golden Med$3,000FORFBfTwillbe pensary Medical Asso luio, in. x., 11 in ey cannot ^ ?sh show the original signa- g&p ture of the individual volun- ?? teering the testimonial below, and also of tbe writers of every testimonial among the thousands which they are constantly publishing, thus proving their genuineness. " For about two rears I suffered from a very obstinate case of dyspepsia," writes R. E. Secord. Esq.. of 13 Eastern Ave., Toronto, Ontario. "I tried a great number of remedies without success. I finally lost faith in them all. 1 was so far gone that I coukl not for a loug ti^je bear any solid food in my stomach ; felt melancholy and depressed. Couki not sleep nor follow mv occupation. Some four months ago a friend recommended your ' Golden Medical Discovery.' After a week's treatment I had derived so much bene&t that I continued the medidne, I have token three bottles and am convinced it has in my case accomplished a permanent cure. I con conscientiously recommend it to the thousands of dyspeptics throughout the land." The "Common Sense Medical Adviser," 1008 large pages in paper covers, is aent/rf?<? on receipt of fli one-cent stamps to pav expense of mailing only. Addreea Dr. ft. V. Pierce, Buiialo, N. Y. DOCTORS' BLUNDERS. What I-esral Methods Applied to Medical Practice Would Uncover. "Now that I am through with modicine I can speak of the profession in a fashion that I would not if 1 was still in the practice." said a gentleman who has been known as a successful physician in New York for years as he sat at luncheon in the Lawyers' club. "Of course I don't care to have my name mentioned, for I have Jots of good friends in the profession, but the fact Is that the profession of medicine would be nearly ruined if it had to be conducted as you gentlemen of the bar practice your calling. "We have a great advantage over you. for you in your cases are subjected. to the extremest publicity, while we in our cases have the utmost concealment. Just suppose that in our cases we had a judge who knew as much as or more than we did presiding over our actions and, worse than that, had another physician, whose interests were not ours, watching and criticising us at every step and blazoning every er- j ror that we made. Dear me, such a prospect as that would frighten the best physician who ever lived the moment he entered a sick room, and yet that condition is just what you men of the law have to face in every case that you try. "What sort of a figure would a lawyer cut floundering around in court without any knowledge of his case? But a physician can flounder mentally in a sick room without a second person being the wiser, though the patient may suffer; but then, 'dead men tell no tales.' "Under such circumstances of doubt, which is usually ignorance, the physician can look wise, put something into the patient's stomach, go to his office, decide what line of experiment he will follow, return the next day, hoping to find that nature is working the cure that he doesnt know how to effect and being ready and willing to take all of the credit that comes his way. "Why, the very first thing that nurses are taught is to observe the utmost secrecy about doctors' blunders. If they told what.they know there wouldn't be much confidence in physicians where they are heard. Ask a nurse of experience about this when you have the opportunity. "Yes. sir, I repeat that the publicity and chance for criticism in your profession, if applied to medicine, would result in the discovery of a small amount of science as compared with the large amount of empiricism."?New York Herald. Herbino Renders the bile more fluid aud thus helps the blood to flow; ifc affords prompt relief from biliousness, indigestion, sick and nervous headaches, and the over-indulgence in food and | drink. Herbine acts quickly, a dose after meals will bring the patient into a good condition in a few days. ^ l * A m Iff TT J m I W Jj. Uaiaweu, Age. m. j\. aDa x. R. R, Cbecotnb, lad. Ter, writep, April 18, 1903: "I waa aick for over I two years with enlargement of the liver aod tpleen. Tbe doctors did me do good, and I bad given up all hope of being cured, when my druggist advised me to use Herbme. It has made me souDd and well." 50c. Sold by The KnufmaDD Drug Co. Charlie?Flow In the world, Gawge, do you manage to see with that single eyeglass of yours? Gawge?My dear fellah, I soe with the other eye.?San Francisco Wasp. The Twins. "Faith. Mrs. O'llara, bow <T ye till thim twins npnrrt?" "Aw, 't is aisy?I sticks me finger In Dlnnis' mouth, an' If he bites I know It's Molke."?Harvard Lampoon. Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires and a touch that never hurts.?Charles Dickens. FRUITS AND FLOWERS. It never injures an orchard to manure it. Judicious annual pruning is essential with the peach. Ix)w headed trees resist the wind better, and the fruit is more easily picked. In grafting a large tree it Is best not to try to graft the whole tree in one season. Budding on certain slow growing and somewhat incongruous stock is the best way of dwarfing. In most eases the cause of moss appearing on the stems of apple and other fruit trees is wet, cold, undrained land. The soil for roses should be rich aDd of such tenacity that it will hold together when pressed. Sand and clay mixed is good. Ail wood that is more than two years old should be cut out from the currants and gooseberries. They will produce more fruit, even if the vines are not so large. An Economical Mother. Small Ivatherine, who had been forbidden to touch the ink bottle, had accidentally spilled its contents not only all over her mother's desk, but on the rug, several chairs and her own apron. Her mother, on discovering the state of affairs, had expressed more surprise than pleasure. When the father of the family returned at night his little daughter met him at the door and asked: "Papa, bow much does a bottle of ink cost?" "Oh, about 5 cents." "Five cents!" exclaimed the aggrieved youngster in a tone of deep disgust. "And to think that mamma would make all that fuss about one little bottle of ink!"?Lippincott's. "Are Yon Ready? Go!" Mrs. John Peters was the mother of a family of restless children, and she found difficulty* in reducing them to quiet when the moment came for asking a blessing at the table. So her course of procedure was something in this fashion: "Alice, be still! Eddie, not ahother word! Maud, don't you see your father is waiting? There?now, John; now!"?New York Times. A Rum of Luck. Tom?I asked old Goldman for his daughter last night. Dick?What luek? Tom?Well, it was what you might call a run of luck. I got away.?Exchange. Dysenterv Cured "Without the Aid of a Doctor. "I am just up from a hard spell of the flux" (dysentery) says Mr. T. A. PinDer, a well known merchant of Drummond, Tenn. "I used one Bmall bottle of Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy and was cured without having a doctor. I consider it the bept cholera medicine in the world." There is no need of employing a doctor when this remedy is used, for no doctor can prescribe a better medicine for bowel complaint in any form either for children or adults. It never fails and is pleasant to take. For sale by The Kaufmann Drue Co. Information Wanted. Dollie?Oh, granny, do the heathen savages wear trousers? Granny?No, dear. Why? Dollie?Well, then, what did pa go and put a trousers button in the collecting bag for at church today? Wrinkles. "How shall I get rid of my wrinkles, Beatrice?" "Cutting them out with a sharp knife Is quite effective." "Of course cutting leaves wounds, but you can easily make people believe you got those fighting with your husband or in some other way that won't hurt your standing in good society."? Detroit Free Press. From Experience. Miss Doveye?We girls are just wild about Victor Pretty. Mrs. Binthnir?Now, I simply can't endure him. I like strong, stern browed men of indomitable will. "Gracious! What for?" "They are so easy to manage."?Life. For Over Sizty Tears. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has been in use for over sixty years by millions of mothers for their children while teething, with perfect success. It soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind - - ? . X colic, and is tne nest remeuy iur Diarrhoea. It will relieve the poor little sufferer immediately. Sold by Druggist in every part of the world. Twenty-five cents a bottle. Be sure to ask for Mrs. "Winslow's Soothing Syrup," and take no other kind, tf { DO YOU GET UP WITH A LAME BACK ? Kidney Trouble Makes You Miserable. Almost everybody who reads the newspapers is sure to know of the wonderful ^ H ( !. cures made by Dr. t '?i> Kilmer's Swamp-Root, 8 1 great-kidney, liver r S J li anc^ bladder remedy. "T 5 (KV jLs ^istbe great medi.. |j( V cal triumph of the nine\ yi \ lliir teenth century; dis !PI1 covered after years of / > J LII~ IM scientific research by n ^r* Kilmer. the emi[|_ " nent kidney and blad? <jer specialist, and is wonderfully successful in promptly curing lame back, kidney, bladder, uric acid troubles and Bright's Disease, which is the worst form of kidney trouble. Dr. Mimer s swamp-KOOi: is not rec- I ommended for everything but if you have kidney, liver cr bladder trouble it will be found just the remedy you need. It has been tested in so many ways, in hospital work, in private practice, among the helpless too poor to purchase relief and has proved so successful in every case that a special arrangement h3s been made by which all readers of this paper who have not already tried it, may have a sample bottle sent free by mail, also a bock telling more about Swamp-Root and how to find out if you have kidney or bladder trouble. When writing mention reading this generous offer in this paper and send your address to Dr. Kilmer &. Co..Bing hamton, N. Y. The regular fifty cent and Home of Swamp-Root, dollar sizes are sold by all good druggists. Albert M. Boozer, Attorney at Law, COLUMBIA, 83. C. Especial attention given to business entrusted to him by his fellow citizens 01 Lexington county. Office: 1316 Mam Street, upstairs, oppo- si e Van M-tre's Furniture btore , February 28?tf. a Wk TWO HUNDRED Staff til Sal % 9b ? I young men and If All 3 cai^^M tions. If you are Interested, write us for our handsome illustrated catalog, IHE LANIER SOUTHERN BUSINESS COLLEGE j MACON, GA. November 19, 1902?ly. ? i Parlor Restaurant ? 1336 main stkeet. COLUMBIA, - S. C., The only up-to-date eating . House ol its kind in the City of Colombia. It is well kept?clean linen, i prompt and polite service and get it quickly. ! Quiet and order always prevail. You get what you o/der and pay only for what you get. Within easy reach of desirable sleeping apartments. OPEN ALL IVIOHLT. B. DAVID, Proprietor. 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"How to iant and Cultivate an Orchard," G ives you that in tor mat io n you nave so long wanted; tells you all about those big red apples, lueious . peaches, and Japan plums c with their oriental sweetness, all of whi ch you have often wondered where the trees earae fro m that produced them. EVERYTHING GOOD IN FRUITS. Unusal fine stock of SILVER MAPLES,young, thrifty trees smooth and straight, the kind that live and grow off well, No old, rough trees. This is 1 the most rapid growing maple and one of the most beautiful shade trees. Write for prices and give list of wants. J. Van Lindley Nursery Co.. Pomona, N 0. PARKERS 1 fSSllli^ HAIR BALSAM Cleamet ud beautiflea the hair. J i MB Promotei a luxuriant growth. 1 Fuils to Bestore Gray! [Eff&oT. -rSSm Hair to ita Youthful Color. I Cure* ccaip diseases k hair ialhrg. I 60c.andSl.Wttt Druypiata I iiiylSI Will Practice in all Courts, KAUFMANN BUILDING, LEXINGTON, S C On the 18th day of October, we formed i co-partnership for the practice of law. iVe will be pleased to receive those having Un oi n *-_o t r\ ha a A tr? at fin r r>f. ego. 1 ^ ?? ico in the Kaulmann building at any time. Respecttally. J. Wm THUBMOND, G. BELL TIMMEBMAN, October 22, 1902. ?ly. Dr. Wooliey's SSS. ? qaimi rec opium, laudanum, PAI11 eflxlr of 0?iurn, CO. PI 2 8 B MB caine or -whiskey, a &J 1 a 1 HUHlar^ b??k of Parw vr 111 BWff ticulars oi. home or I 8JB 119 sanatorium treat' ment. Address, B AND M. WOOLLEY CO. Whiskey Cure _____________________ m 635953535959 QQ69C8QfiO iirtii ft., I , COLUMBIA,S-C. ?? 88 ca )LLOWING: jgK ind. at 18J cents. ^^3 bind, at 5 cents, I 20 cents kind, at 10 cents. kind, tor 10 cents. its, $3.75, $5 00 and SG.50. , 25c., 49c , 98c. and op. 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