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The Lexington Dispatch Wednesday, August 5', 1903. Aunt Siszio at Wedding. A Negro Dialect Story by an Old Time Darkey. "Howdy, Marse Jeff," said old Aunt Kizzie the other day, as she polked her head in at the store door, "how much do fif cens wuf dis meat come to?" I am a little suspicious of the negroes when they use the term "Marse." In old times it was common, but nowadays it is seldom used, and when they do call you "Marse" they usually mean it as a preface for the asking of a favor?a sort of propitiatory term. Aunt q tvniMl ftntflhpll- I iliMiCj jjluvtuvci, i? u vj? um darkey, and is somewhat of an exception to the rule. "Well, Aunt Kizzie, said I, "how are you, and what in the world are you dressed up . so for T for the old woman was togged out in all sorts of finery and her head done up in the gayest of old time plantation bandanas. 'Tse been ter a weddin' chile. My aunt's fuss cousin's sister-in-law's charter wuz marznied dis evenin at de cullud church. Dey bad a big weddin, an I'se gwine on ter de infair ternight: Dey gwine ter have a fine hot supper and possum and farters and lots er cakes and 6ich like truck. I aint eat no brekfus, or dinner neither, cause I wan ter git my sbere and taste ob dat supper. "Tell me something about the wedding, Aunt Kizzie !" I asked. Well de bride an de two yuther nigger gals (de bridesmaids) wuz all rigged out in white, fum top to bottom. Dey * ? ? > a WUZ Dl&OK &B pots, ona tuey zuu&eu pursizely like three sticks er black liquish in a ball er cottoD. Jim, de , groom, po niggab, he wuz skeered mighty nigh to death, buthemekout to stan tip tell it wuz over wid. Brudder Jones, de fishinatin minister, he ax Jim, he did, ef he would take Milly fer better or fer wussur, fer richer orporer, and ef he would cherish and love her. Jim sorter straighten hissef up an say wid his eyes mighty nigh startin outen his head). 'Well' Brudder Jones! he low, its jest cordin to how she haves hersef? Well atter while it wuz all over and Jim he retch down in his pocket to pay de preacher, but he taken second thought an he say Look a hear, Brudder Jones, I aint got de change, right now, but 1 I'll han you dat some time in passin'. But dat didn't suit Brudder Jones and he lowed, he did, 'Dat won't do Digger, I don't do biznis in no sech style as dat. I don't want de cash in passin', I wants it right now, en whats more I'm er gwine ter have it. Brudder Jones is a heap bigger den Jim, en he looked at him mighty vigeus liken sorter shuck him in de col* lar, so Jim he sorter consider and retch down in another pocket and fotch out a little terbacker sack tied up wid a shoe string an fish out fifty centy en gin it to de preacher. 'Brud3 T 1 | J aer uouee: uv sou, juu iuuoiiouuoouij absence of mine. I didn't know I bad dis. Well it wuz scusable, of coarse an everything passed off mighty nice Well, I must be gwine, Marse Jeff, you don't use terbacker, does youf Thankee sir. Well good by chile, I mus go see what dem niggers is doin. Dere's seme mighty mean niggers in dat crowd, and dey is powerful hoggish, and I'm feard dey'U be liable ter git in a rucus up dar over them vittles, so I'll git along as to be an have to pertect my ole man an see dat he don't git imposed on." "Jeff Bobbins." Puts an End to it All. A grievous wail oftimes comes as ; a result of unbearable pain from over ? taxed organs. Dizziness, Backache, Liver complaint and Constipation. But thanks to Dr. King,s New Life Pills they put an end to it all. They are gentle but thorough. Try them. Only 25c. Guaranteed by The Kaufmann Drug Co. Pickled Green Tomatoes. Scald them and let stand over night. Drain and nearly cover with molasses. Leave in a warm place and when a scum rises on top remove it. When the scum ceases to riBe on top, seal. These tomatoes are excellent. Chili Sauce.?Chop fine six tomatoes and two small red peppers; and . x ???I?I^M?? two cups vinegar, one tablespoonful each of brown sugar and salt, and two onions. Cook slowly four hours and when nearly done add 1 teaspoonful each of cinnamon, cloves, ginger and celery seed. Green Tomato Preserves.?Slice green tomatoes. Make a syrup of one pound sugar to one pound of tomatoes. Put 6ugar and water to boil, and when clear add tomatoes and cook until tender. Slice a lemon and cook in a little water until tender, then add lemon and water to the syrup and seal. Cures Sciatica. Rot? W T. "R.ilfiV Tj.Tj D.. Cuba. XllUf. ft* JUI. 7 , J New York, writes: "After fifteen days of excruciating pain from sciatic rheumatism, under various treatments, I was induced to try Ballard's Snow Liniment; the first application giving my first relief and the second entire relief. I can give it unqualified recommendation.7' 25c, 50c and $1.00. Sold by The Kaufmann Drug Co. The Foreigners. Every one has heard of the woman visiting France for the first time who expressed her surprise that "even the young children spoke French so fluently." She was much like the Englishman described in a book of travel. He was very fond of traveling and took great delight in lionizing different cities which we visited, but in one respect be was a stanch John Bull. No power on earth could persuade him that when he resided in Florence, for example, he could possibly be called a foreigner. "No ma'am," he used to say; "the Italians are foreigners, but I am an Englishman!" i ^ , A Tiny Journal. Omeo, among the mountains of Victoria, Anstralia, formerly possess- j ed the smallest journal printed in the British dominions. It was not much larger than an ordinary sheet of note paper, and its title was the Eoho of the Mountains. During one severe winter Omeo was cut off from civilization by heavy falls of enow, and its supply of ordinary printing paper having been exhausted, the Echo of the Mountains was printed for some weeks on grocers' brown paper bags. . A Physician Healed. Dr. Geo. Ewing, a practicing physician of Smith's Grove, Ky., for over thirty years, writes his personal oTnomnnno wifK "EVilov'. TTi^riflr flnrfl' WAJJOl 1UUVV TV iVU Jkm vlvj u XJLIUUVJ V/U1V* "For years I had been greatly bothered with kidney and bladder trouble and enlarged prostrate gland. I used everything known to the profession without relief, until I commerced to use Foley's kidney Cure. After taking three bottles I was entirely relieved and cured. I presscribe it now daily in my practice and heartily recommend its use to all physicians for such troubles. I have prescribed it in hundreds of cases with perfect success." The Kaufmann Drug Co. Shutting Down The Plants. Lewiston, Me., July 31.?The extreme high price of raw cotton has compelled the Bates and Androscoggin Manufacturing companies, employing 3,000 hands, to order a curtailment of the output. Today, notices were posted on the gates of those two corporations notifying the employes that after tomorrow the mills would be in operation only four days each week until further notice. This is the first announcement this season of any extended curtailment in Maine. Brunswick, Me., July 31.?Orders were received today from the Boston office of the company to shut down the Cabot cotton mills here for two weeks. The order affects 1,000 operatives. The closing is said to be due to the high price of cotton. The Death Penalty. Little thing sometimes results in death. Thus a mere scratch, insignificant cuts or puny boils have paid the death penalty. It is wise to have Bucklen's Arnica Salve ever handy. It's the best Salve on earth and will prevent fatality, when Burns, Sores, Ulcers and Piles threaten. Only 25c at The Kaufmann Drug Co. Repartee in Church. The friendly and familiar atmosphere of the average small rural western church sometimes gives rise to embarrassments. Dr. David is a prominent man in a little far western church, and he generally takes a quiet little doze during the sermon. Sister Sarah is an elderly, long-winded woman, who likes to "exhort" after the preacher has concluded his remarks. Not long ago, at a night service, Sister Sarah arose and discoursed at great length. The listenI t r?? era Decame viaiuio itjoiivc. ?si. David arose and said, bluntly: [ "Si9ter Sarab, it would be an imposition to detain this congregation any longer." " 'Taint no impersition to you, doctor; you've tuck your nap," said Sister Sarah. Then the clergyman, with uplifted hands, said; "Let us be dismissed." All the Same to Eim. "Are you troubled with cockroaches or other insects about your premises, ma'am?" inquired the man with the pack who had succeeded in gaining an audience with the mistress of the mansion. "No, Sir!" she said, glaring at him. "We are not troubled by cockroaches or other insects!" "Don't mind 'em, hey ?" he rejoined cheerfully, shouldering his pack again. "Well, there's nothing like getting used to one's afflictions. Good day, ma'am. End of Bitter Fight. "Two physicians had a long and stubborn fight with an abcess on my right lung" writes J. F. Hughes of Du Point, Ga. "and gave me up, everybody thought my time had come. As a last resort I tried Dr. King's New Discovery for Consumption. The benefit I received was striking and I was on my feet in a few days. Now I've entirely regained my health." It conquers all Coughs, Colds, Throat and Lung troubles. Guaranteed by The Kaufmann Drug Co. Price 50c and Si. 00. Trial bottles free. Wanted Another Boot. Elwood, aged four, had stepped into a candy Btore to talk to the girl behind the counter. "What is your name!" he asked. t "Mary Howe," was the answer, "and if you will remember it, I'll give you a candy boot for your doll." After talking a few minutes the girl asked, "What is my name!" "Mary Howe," he said. "That is right, and here is the boot for your doll." "Thank you," said Elwood sweetly. And then, after a moment's thought, added, "But my doll has two feet." The Wrong Suggestion. A good planter's wife "befo' de wah" was teaching a jet black house girl, just fourteen and fresh from the plantation, the letters of the alphabet. Betsy bad learned the first two, says Harper's Magazine, but always forgot the letter "C." "Don't you see with your eyes? Can't you remember the word see?" said her mistress. "Ye8sum," answered Betsy. But she could not. Five minutes later Betsy began again bravely, "A?B" and there she stopped. "What do you do with your eyes Betsy?" "I sleeps wif 'em mis'." Suicide Prevented. The startling announcement that a preventive of suicied has been discovered will interest many. A run down system, or despondent invariably preceed suicide and something has been found that will prevent that condition which makes suicide likely. At the first thought of self destruction take Electric Bitters. It being a great tonic nervine will strengthen the nerves and build up the system. T?'a olnn a rrrflaf fifninanh TilVfiP ftrifl Kidney regulator. Only 50c. Satisfaction guaranteed by The Kaufmann Drug Co. Jews Coming to America. Bucharest, July 31.?Lack of work in Roumania is causing a renowned exodus on a large scale of Jewish workmen to America. The emigrants are assisted by the B'Nal B'Rith and other foreign Jewish societies. Her Dearest Wish. "Mamma," asked little Florence, the only sister of five older brothers, "when am I going to be a boy?" "Why, never, dear. Yon are mamma's little girl." "Ain't I ever going to be.a boy?" j "No, deai; girls con't be boys." ' "Can't God make me a boy? "No, God will never make you a boy." Florence walked away thoughtful- A ly, and that night when she said her I prater she added this petition: "If E i. i ? 11 i ! r you can c maKe me a ooy men mane j me a billygoat."?Woman's Home Companion. Bronchitis for Twenty Years. Mrs. Minerva Smith, of Danville, 111, writes: "I had bronchitis for twenty years and never got relief until I used Foley's Honey and Tar which is a sure cure. TneKaufmann Drug Co. ^u Rearranging The Basis. "You are charging me 87 a week for board and lodging, Mrs. Irons;" said the gray haired person of the Dame of Harris. "May I a6k how you would itemize it? What part of it is for board?" "Five dollars," replied the landlady. "And 82 for my room?" "Yes." "Well, if you don't mind, Mrs. Irons," he said, proceeding to square up for another week, "we'll consider hereafter that I am paying you $5 for lodging and 82 for board. It will seem more as if I were getting the worth of my money."?Chicago Tribune. Recognizing a Long Felt Want. While lookiDg over his morning paper at the breakfast table Mr. Spotcash read in the miscellaneous information column the following item: "One peculiarity observed by visitors in Cuba is that no native, young or old, ever whistles." He laid the paper down, went to the telephone and called up his man of business. m "Mr. Hussel," he said, "at the earliest possible moment I wish you would advertiee for a young Cuban. I want him for my office boy."?Chicago Tribune. ? < Rheumatism. 9 When pains or irritation exist on any part of the body, the application of Ballard's Snow Liniment gives prompt relief. E. W. Sullivan, Prop., ? Sullivan House El Reno, 0. T., t writes, June 6, 1902: "I take pleasure in recommending Ballard's Snow Liniment to all who are afflicted with rheumatism. It is the only 8 u - - ? x 1 * j a.t : u remeay x dave ioudu tuat gives im- 0 mediate relief." 25c, 50c and $1 00. A Sold by The Kaufmann Drug Co. For Lending Purposes. s "I want a lawn mower," saiy Mr. Sewburb, "one that is a misfit in every way, one that coulden't be T pushed by an electric power house a and that wouldent cut grass anyway. "May I ask," said the amazed 8 clerk, "why you wish such a machine?" "Certainly," replied Mr. Sewburb, 8 4,I want to break some of my neigh- t bors of the borrowing habit."?Balti- s more American. * Sarcasitc. A on a* atji^onHo ^<3Ciirr\nD I ^ A JUUUg nu^uui) CI1UOUV1J UUUliUUU of being benefited by the experience of t an eider brother craftsman, once asked Richard Henry Stoddard how he had acquired such a mastery of Anglo- t Saxon. "I don't know how I ever did it," replied the poet, who after a moment'8 reflection, added, "I think, however, h I must attribute it to the fact that I f< never had any education!" ? ? fcl Foley's Sidney Cure A Will cure JBright's Disease. ^ Will cure Diabetes. v, Will cure Stone in Bladder. h Will cure Kidney and Bladder Diseases. Foley's Kidney Cure cures all dis- f" eases arising from disordered kidneys 11 or bladder. The Kaufmann Drug & Co. a . r Boxes of fine chocolate and fancy | candies, at the Bazaar. AW THE LINE FOR BUSINESS, ^SrITHE LINE FOR PLEASURE, THE LINE FOR ALL THE BEST <*J"* SUMMER RESORTS gUUTHERN ======= . -* Complete Summer Resort Folder ^ . Mailed Free to Any Address. W.A.TURK. S. H. HARDWTCK, W. H.TAYLOH. a Pass. Traffic MgT. Gen'I Pass. Agent. Asst. Gen' 1 Pass. Agt? *r WASHINGTON. D. C. WASHINGTON, D. C. ATLANTA. GA. SEABOARD 1 A.IR LTI^K RAILWAY. | NORTH-SODTH-EAST- WEST, j Two Daily Pullman Vestibule Limited Tr?iua Between SOUTH AND IVJEW YORK. IFirst-UIass Dining Car Service J The Best Rates and Route to all Eastern Cities Via g Richmond and \Yashington, or via j IVor folk and Steamers to Atlanta. IV ash- J ville, Memphis, I^ouisville. tst. : Louis. <L liicag-o, IV ew Orleans, and All Points South and Southwest?to Savannah and .Jacksonville and all points in FTori- ^ da and Cuba. I Positively the Shortest Line Between , NORTH AIVr> SOUTH. ! Jfc^For detailed information, rates, schedules, Pullman \ reservations, &c., apply to any agent of The Seaboard \ Air Line Railway or to J. J. Puller, Travelling jj Passenger Agent, Columbia, !S. C. ' CHARLES F. STEWART, Asst. G. Pass. AgtJ SAVANNAH, OA. | DRS. D. L. BOOZER & 80IS ilHI dentists, 1515 MAIN STREET, JOLUMBIA, S. C. PHONE 23Q. Lincoln on Sweorlag. JAMES HARMAN, 3eoator PeesendeD oiice came roaring 3DZB2STT_A?ILi STJI^O-EO^T t President IAikoaln over a question of LEXINGTON S C utronage. The president listened till /na- . f iV ' ''' I* storTwas o*?u*a asked: TVFepwu ZZ ^ "??n sre An Eniecmalian. areo* WW. TNF0RMS THE PUBLIC THAT |HE lou are ao fcpieco{>aiian, aim you, J. will be jn bis office ererv Friday for the ^seooeo. parpoae oi doing dental vork in all, its "Yes, sir; I beloog to that church." branches. T thought so. You Episcopalians all March 19, 1902. ly. wear alike. Seward is an Eplacopa hm. Stanton is a Presbyterian; you ... nn/iirwi*Tii " A. RECKLING, Spotee AOvUedlx. ^ * Farmer Beepum-I wus totd itaH- COLUMBIA, S. C. tunes fell over in Clay county that ooked like hea?aig& ?omin* through the T"S NOW MAKING THE BEST PIC^ A tares that can be had in this country, Parmer Tbrashom?H) bet the feller ^a^,wh? 12376 126761 had a r; ufine. Pio* . . , ,. ,, ^ . tare, shoald now try some of his latest vhat told you that never seen a heo styles. Specimens cun be seen at his Galtig comin' through the air. lery. Up stairs, next to the Hub. Farmer Reepoto?Then you k?e. He When writing mention the Dispatch. vus the main aotoc in that 'ere born tormio' troupe?Kansas City Journal. Qo4*o a I)Mfor?aM. "What 4s the difference between-beo? ? , . _ # ----- _ Lithia Water. "Why, bene, my sou. are things that jeiong to oar neighbors; poultry is ^ -| OfDOttring-a mancwens himself."?Y on- J50Tj1j1PC1 :ers Statesman. A Good l?vMHnicnl frl T1 P'O'PQ 1 D Bramfcie?Whs*t would you do If you Va?U.^C/X CUVj iad ruXKWXO-? Thoroo?I'd hire a private secretary C^f\00 O o answer fool qoesttona?Smart Set v/UUct"UUIclj Between a babbling friend and a T A 1leot fbe fbevo is small cboiee^-An- on ice, at rim. Stop That Cough! The Bazaar. When a cough, a tickling or an .-ritation in the throat makes you 3el uncomfortable, take Ballard's lorehound Syrup. Don't wait until ? "Ti' rirs MM Mils Milt, Vest 5tb St., Silt Lake City, Utah, ? rrites: "We think Ballard's Hore- LEXINGTON, S. C. ound Syrup the best medicine for LITERARY. SCINTIFIC AND CLASSIoughs and colds. We have used it CAL COURSE. 3r several years; it always gives NEXT SESSION OPE.NS SEPTEMBER 7. nmediate relief, is very pleasant and ives perfect satisfaction." 25c, 50c i?cal and Instrumental Music, . Elocution, nd SI 00. Sold by The Kaufmann College Trained Teachers. )ru^ Co. 233 Students Enroileo Last Session. vvnanaod tvq,. saocinn + n AJA^/VUOV/O Jk/Vi UVOQ1VU VVV v w VVVi ? 7" Send for Catalogue to One Minute Gough Cure (i o. d. seay, pmc-pai. For Coughs, Co!ds and Croup. Jaly 2J'1903,