Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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VOL. 7. LEXINGTON, SOUTH CAROLINA^ WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 1877. NO 26; THE LEXINGTON DISPATCH 13 published eyeey wednesday, By Godfrey M. JIarman, LEXIHGT05 0. E., S. C. ' RATES OF A^I'EHTISTXG. - * ' ^Advertisements wilKbe inserted at the rate of oue dollar per square o&oiie inch space for 1 V ' . dr.st insertion, and fifty cents per square for r each cibsepaent insertion. \ jV. - Liberal contracts inaie with those wishing tVidvertise for three, six or twelve months. 'j Marriage notices inserted free. Obituaries over ten lines charged for at re'gn _ ^ . lar advertising rates. All Remittances and Subscriptions, together vith ill Business Letters for the Dispatch. should be addressed to G .M. HAEMAN, Proprietor. i car."" . tl'inhw r-ittq in a^votlffl j- i . i rare PAPER is ON FILE WITH Where Advertising Contracts can bo matiob i 1 - J . j4 \; '- - 35SI HEED THE ; T I' TT*S Bnai o A A 1 PILLS ?s?Wsrds of Advice, ritK 1 TCTT'3 PILLS 1 TUTT'S "R E<*T F^I*" T offpie.! hy iLLLS TDTTN W. II. TI'TT. M.U., lor many pill< wwc Tear* IVtunuvtralor of Anstomv iu pT? i < J ^ly.^ibeMpdic.-iHo'IeypofCeorcia. ?pf, >" - Thirty years' rvjK-rlpa?-e 11 Hug"'}~L - "praetteeofnMnilciue.iogotbervriiu T: ; "SfiK'-r-it reri->" n of Tutt> Hi:*. PILI.s : T '>.T'>o "f1 tbe.i":o:v:j*>4? of PILLS i ;.ir{;en <-f th-lr ePicaev. vrwra-lt; epfLI.S f . . i:> "sv i.-i 11:3: I'.jev will l>o?lllVt!y pjLi.s . t.ro ^11 .ii-n-aresfh.*t from a t.jt i s . ?U?v. < | ;ivor. niv\ wr r?t ror-PTT',,, a , % .> ' s :irnt t Vs., -; * ,.. "i l'')rl.,v',*nclr>.-'aJii'-. T? r : i- l ii'-s.J' ki'' I I'? P'Lijo ?I ' . r "< <"t;. J'l . ?!: 1 ( KbeiUflaMtn. PILL* j i fTTT'S Palpitate ft U?e Heart. K idrey IMLI S f T-j7T?<i AfrVotl-Ar.. J'H.1. \ j .. ..T m-all of v.i'-h J wills from il'Taii; * i I S : t^Uvi+.i.oB:e.K'.| H.l?asp:rl*s i ' ? vii A 4*V4* r-o* e-? ?<? iwe.vv'.pil 3; W-.fjr-Ic ' l 'yJ.T>*n"rT'? vr. "T.-.uLi-: l:vi:r?'!*< ? r. IW'.fJ'il.fs. ' PILLS MITT'S ; - - v: PI L< Ti'T-r'sj rrrrs v i.i/a j pills ?*&?, ri'TT'S : CT!i? bit & KLAtUtJIIX TILLS X TUT 'S : . : PILLS ;: X TLTi"S j-lCVTW - * : J ILLS ^rlii" i i rSvrrst _ TfTTft rii.m ; pii.i.s IP'TTTTO jAES rUKKLx v::ge:'ABT.E.- J-.W.N y ; ? OTT S : f?|? |. } TUT** : 1 ( TUTT'S I ITITS T5: 1.1,3 -: i TUTT'S : rUYEi; GK! E Gii AAUSr.- : PILLS 1 { .TUTT'S ATE. : TILLS I i ) TUTT'S i : \ i'-LLS i I I / TUTT'S = 3 ILLS / t - : THKDEMAST) TOR TUTT'S: 1'ILI.S ; f ? TCTT'3 -PILLS is not r/?r>lln<-4 !o H.Lj 3 i l.l.S _ i TUTT'S :coontrv,1?nt cxti-uds loall partb- J ILLS i( K TUTT'S ioftLe world. : PI11.S i TCTT'S : ! TILLS D TUTT'S - : TILLS -L TUTT'S ACLEARIIKAD.oJ.isfic linibs,: TILLS . i m / TUTT'S icood digestion, suun-1 bleep.- TILLS / TUTT'S ibnoynnt spirit*, Cno Rppotif*'.- PII.LS I r / TCTT'S tare row of the results of tlso- PILLS ; r J* TUTT'S fnsoof TUTT'S TILLS. TILLS [ 1/ TCTT'S PILLS U TUTT'S - : TILLS , I, TUTT'S: AS A FAMILY MEDICINE : PILLS TUTT'S - TUTT'S TILLS A HE THE | TILLS |l TUTT'S : I'.KST?PERFECTLY UARR- ' TILLS 1 TUTT'S : LESS. : TILLS ,r TUTT'S : : TILLS TCTT'S : - : TILLS j TUTT'S : SOT.T FYERYWHEEE. j TILLS TUTT'S : PRICE, TWESTY-FIA'E CTS.: PILLS t TUTT'S : - : PILLS TUTT'S : - ; TILLS I TUTT'S : PRINCIPAL OFFICE : TILLS TUTT'S : 18 MURRAY STREET, j TILLS f TUTT'S I SEW YORK. : TILLS 1 v TUTT'S : : TILLS j 91. TUTT'S ;< This unrivaled preparation lias per- * \ formed some of t!ic most astonishing s ; a; ' aires that arc recorded in the annals of history. Patients suTcrin^ for years from ; f the various d'sep>es of the Lungs, after f ; \ hying different remedies, spending thousands of dollars in traveling and doctor- j V ... rr t... ?i? 1 t ; ' entirely recovered their health. !' 1^ S i"WON'T 69 TO Fl"Ri9A " I1 C*^ f irctvYorfc, August 30,1372. , t fei 0??. TUTT: Dear SirWhen la Aikca. lent via!cr, I used your t ; Expectorant for my cough. and realized more he-tent !. V ' from it than anything I ever took. I am so-well that |' - ^ * I.will not go to Florida next .winter as I intended. 1 . m ; 8end mo orto dozen bottles. by express. for cstr.o & ! friend*. ALFUED CTT3Hi:*<?, , . G~*t \ 123 West Thirty-flrstSlritt. 1 Eostoa, January 11,1374. { This certifies that I have recommenced the tnc of ; I pnTutt'S Expectorant for diseaso^cr the lunga Jar the past tgo years, and to my knovitodge many \ fc? ^jttThs have been used by my patients with the happiest resnlts. In two cases where It was thought con flrmcd consumption had taken place the Expectorant l .effected a care. It. H. SFHAQT7D, M.D. "We can not speak too highly of Dr. Tutt's Ex- ? pectorant, and for the sake of suffering humanitj j hope it may become more generally known."?Chris TIAN Al>voCATR Sold by Druggists. Trtce Sl.00 Jan 31?ly j I Revue l)e La 3Io(le. | The Cheapest and JJest ( S Fashion .Journ;ii. , 1 |Hi IVES over 1.600 useful illustrations, "00 B \Jf Patterns, and 12 large liij/li:v (' 'med 1 Steel E N G B A VIN GS yearly, 'r 1 be Monthlvat $3.50 a vear. Address. g S. T. TA YLOIt. J| 8J6 Broadway. Ketr Ywk. ,i I THE GREAT k Conservative Paper ! i! ||Br^T/ie Charleston Sews and Con- j] B| DAILY, TBI-WEEKLY, AND WEEKLY. IBB " ~~ PUBLISHED BY ?' KB RIOBDAX, DAWSON & CO. , HB Office Xo. 10 Broad Street, -- - _ . A M i IC H A H L I \ i U N , 5. U. The Daily News for ?ue voar $10. Of' 1 Tri-weekly News for oiieyear 5.00 < Weekly News for one year 2.oo ( The Charleston News is the* leading Demo- ( critic Jonrual of this State, and has a large circulation in the .Southern States. Vivr- ! tiding inserted at liberal rates. gj fortwi. TEEY MET-THEY PARTED. iV>.s , r. ? Upon the sofa, as they sat, The lorers "talked in pleasant chat Of that and that, and this and that, ^Bu t of their wedding mainlr? He said'"yes, yes," to alUhat she ' IHonght, in her judgment, best would be. \ "One thing-, dear Gus, I think should be i Undaratood now quite plainly." . f "Go on," said Gus, "just speak it out; ['re notihe faintest shade of doubt That still iu all things we'll agree And and, us we're begun? Twjp souls with but a single thought, , Two hearts that beat as one!'" k loving smile, a tender squeeze, Gus added to his language: Ibeii Sue these softly spoken words Between his hugs did sandwich: Of coiwee-wamma, will lire with ua, ind 'rute the roost' my darhug Gus, For that you know, she's use' ter." 'Not much!" cried Gus, iu temper high,: iud grasped his bat and cried "Good-bye* Lbut settles it 'twixt you and I! lieeorded is uiv vow on high; So iuotb?T-iu-l*w, with threatening eye, j iud tougne all peace to crucify, Shall ever rule this rooster!" Sftisfcllaneous. Inquisitive Busy-Bodies. BY BEY. W. H. LUCKEJJBACH. There is no impertinence more offeu-j -ive than that which is ever prying into ' ;ouie inquisitive busy-tody happeui.jgj lpon you, and feel at the same time that; rottr sense of-.^politemss forbids the in- j erjection of an indignant rebuke. It is | i crucial test to which are subjected one's Jhristinn graces of patience, meekness,; ong snffeiing and love, when, some jossip-scenter, nosing his way into a i jronp of friends, begins to smell about | lira for choice bit. of scandal that he! nay swallow, and, liko se ine rnminatingT >east, either chew at his leisure alone,! >n meeting with some fellow-kine, work , t up from his surcharged stomach for ! heir common delectation. We have but; ittle more respect for such an one than or his animal prototype?the dog. And I i is only our ruritance regard for! Christian decorum that restj^ins onr i iglit foot from exercising upon him a! unction which it can always most effec ! ually perform when encased in a good, i tiff boot. If this striking corrective, however, is j :onsidered by the merciful as too severe, j vill they please to tell us what ought to 1 >e done with the pestiferous bnsv-body? irony wounds him as little as an arrow he air. Ridicule excites no laughter j hat can make him ashamed of his con- j eraptible vice. Religion pleads vaiuly" igainst the mischiefs he occasions. Pui-! >it and press are alike unable to make liin mind his own and let other peopleVj msiuess alone. What can be done, th^n. vith thfc petty, whispering-.busy-body? If be be at all sensible of bis despica>le vice, and disposed to confess his lin-. jual sins, vet is afraid to attempt a re urination, lest he should fail, it might j ;elp him very much in his dilemma, to mmitate tlie example of old cranes. It j s a. weakness ol their ioni nature mat alien living they keep up a constant! ackie. Learning by srl experience that' his silly cackling only betrayed their! vbereabonts to the hungry eagles' ovooping near them for *a meal, and museums too. or ;l,<e strength of their laturai impulse to cackle, it is said that j % nstiuct has lan.i.'lit them, that they \cn-| rue upon a tight, to put. a stone in their' nouths large enough to enforce silence Inconvenient as this might be to. the padding busy-body?to start from his iiojne with a stone in his month some iv11ant less than a boulder?vet lie may j tVel very confident that, thus prepared | for social intercourse, he wili he wel- . 'onied far more he-utiiv into any family ! 'irele in his neighborhood, than if lie; *am* without such an ornamental gos sil-w It is fabled of u MTtliieal old lad v. * that she had eyes somewhat like spectacles. She coald take them out and put' them back again in their socket* at pleasure. But she never used them ex- j cept when she went abroad. At home! she kept tbem locked up iu her drawer. There she was as blind as a bat, but out upon the streets, or in a neighbor's house, the could see everything that was transpiring. ^ How typical is this of the ing to this description, whether male or female, and he, or she, who willingly countenances such a Mr. or Mrs. Paul Pry, should be served as our old raoralizer suggests, "That both the teller and hearer of gossip ought equally to be hanged; the one by tl e tongue and the other by the ears." ... ' Especially contemptible is'Jhis mie-! chievods habit of prying into other people's affairs, when it is accompanied with an affectation of regret for their follies. imperfections, and failings. It is u very easy thing to regret others' sins and shortcomings?to run into a neighbor's house, when somyv^Loice bit. of schamile has worked its't# eurfaceward from the sinks of society, to express! one's sorrow that Such peiii- j tential, self-constituted otjTifesxors of otl er sinners' guilt should remember-, however that their simulated sorrow is too thin a veil to conceal their teal sorriness which, if they consult "Webster's Unabridged" thev will learn is quite a different thing. Their self satiifieing itfc tfrest. in the moral or immoral status ot other sinners would doubtless find] enough to "keep it busy and active if (hey J stuid at home, and now and then put toj themselves torturing questions nbuj^j their own. In the language of George Herbert. * By all means use sometimes to he alone Salute thyself: see what thy soul doth j TJ'.d'h 1:. UJJ. viMM., iui 'lis n.Tiiv own; And ^ttimble up and down what thou j 4 fiud'sf there. Whf^mnot rest till lie good fellows find, j He breaks up houses," turns out of doors his mind. Sum up by night what thou hast done by , day; And in the morning, what thou hast; to do, Dress and undress thv soul; mark the j decay And growth of it; if, with thy watch, , that too Bedown, then wind np both; siuce we shall he Most surely judged, make thy accounts agree." Wife, Mistress and "Lady." Who marrit-s for love, takes a wife; who marries for fortune, takes a mistress; who marries for position, takes a latfy. You are loved by your wife, re-j garded by your mistress, and tolerated ! bv vonr ladv. You have a wife for Your-! self, a mistress for your homeland friends, j a lady fur the world and society. Your; wife will, agree with ycu, your mistressI will rule you, your lady manage you. Your wife will take care of your bouse-1 hold, your mistress of your house, your lady of appearances. If yon are sick, your wife will nurse you. your mistress will visit you, your lady will inquire after your health. You take a walk with| your wife, a ride with your mistress, and go to a party with your lady. Your wife will share your grief, your inistrei-s your money, your lady your debts. If, you die, your wife will weep, your mis j tress will lament, and your lady wear ... mourning. Which will you have? Novel and Remarkable Fate of a Hen? A brother in-law of a well known New j Ilaven gentleman, says the Journal, en-i gaged in the gun business, dropped a j pistol cartridge in the yard of his residence, a while ago, and has sine# found out where it went to. One of his hens not at all uppre hen-sive picked it up, i ,i u?. m,?i ?r .,! JIIMI iu>v>u IIIC utiMt w* t4 shell?not favorable to egg making or; longevity?for a dav or two afterward she ' * was blown into mincemeut by the explo-! sion of the cartridge inside of her digestive apparatus This is a fact. The honeymoon had long gone by! when a melancholy husband wearily confessed himself to a friend: ''What do yon think'? I could never have imagined if! In the first days of our married life she was an angel?so dear and lovely that I could have eaten her up." -t'And now?" asked his friend. "Now I repent of not having done it.''* H Let us be More Social. u* ? j' '^En order to increase the sum of human happiness, wc should cultivate kind and ttlternal feelinga with ore another. A t^fae life consists in something else than accumulating property. We do - * ? a i .1 yi Pi and cannot "lire oy oreau aione. writer discourses on this subject most $ethitifully as follows: tmfyTb? sole object and aim of too many duals seems to be to get gain, "grab let' the consequnces be what they obay to others. The desire to accumulate wealth, regardless of the comfort and social happiness of our neighbors. Ogd the interchange of friendly sontikment, should be ignored. On the other htnd, we should so live and act that the generous impulses of our own hearts vnuld prompt us to extend the hand of ! ^jlowship to all of our neighbors, and. leaking them squerely in the eye, feel twt glorious inward consciousness that wp had never wronged them in thought, \#>rd or show. Then, too, let litlle deed? <gJdove be done; let the principles of the ^dden rule be exemplified in daily lives; Stt.ns be mora social, and cultivate our 1 ? *?-1 K* ffui-inont inter IJjnYlVUI CjUilllilCO K'J ge of friendly greetings at social '?herings; let no aristocracy be acjfowledged save that of the intellect; let ns make them what thev shobld be by flLerisbing a love for the beautiful, so ^Blessing.-, may attend us forever; JfAud whatever we may pray for or do, dHgj our lives be oue grand endeavor tvpft the pure, the good and the true!" ^ A Healthy Free Lunch. % ? ' '' A tramp, while on his travels, noticed a placard in front of a bar:room. _ It borfc tfc-pleasing legend1, "Free Lunch," and sandwich; theu the bar-keeper wfrlTed up to the cadaverous wretch ancj. s^id: ) i "lien who eat here are expected to pay for h drink." '* ^"1 know it," said the tramp. "Well, then, why don't yon conform to the rule?" "Cause I go for health, and don't drink till I am through eating." O O ""The bar keeper turned his back for a moment, and the tramp slipped three sandwiches into his coat pocket, and calmly devoured four; then he walked up to the bar, and to the dispenser of stimulants huskily whispered: "Gimme a glass o' water,,will ye?" "What! water, after sandwiches?" bellowed the bar keeper, angrily. *'Ycs'r, water," replied the tramp.? L???> ? ''" inl/iti' i\ it v>i<rli nnln fnrfv 1 UVCU a Ul 1UA1U V/ a v years, and it's just the healthiest stuff ?goin\" And be hobbled out; tut if he bad caught the foot that flew after him, he wouldn't have bean satisfied with the "booty" of his visit.?Detroit Free Press. Late Marriages. It is to be deplored that our young people are reluctant to marry because thoy cannot at once set up expensive or stylish housekeeping. Late marriages are becoming so largely characteristic of social life on these false and selfish grounds of social economy, that society as a whole, and religious life in particular. are seriously damaged. If a man has gained a position that enables him to marry with ordinary prudence, let hiiu marry, and let not the prudence be pressed too hard: young love, if true and godly, will make early straggle wholesome and joyous. If he has found a woman who will make happy, let him take her to a modest home, the loving wife of his youth. His life and his fortunes will be better for it ? A commercial exchange says: "Hogs are dull." We never thought hogs were very sharp. Winn one breaks into o cabbage patch you may < base it fourteen times around the lot, and it will try to crawl through every three inch crack in the fence without once seeing the hole it made to get in. An Irishman, who had been sick a long time, was one day met by the palish i-rUst, when the following con versa rion to-'k place: "Well, Patrick, I am plitd you have recovered; but were yon * not afraid to meet your God? " "Oh. no, yer iviverance, it was meetin' the other U'hap that I was nfeard uv!" replied Pat. i J Beautify Your Homes. I . t It is astonishing to soe the lack of | taste around many village and farm i houses; and their owners seem to think ! that it is nioner thrown away to beautifv I their homes; but let them offer their j places for sale, and then they will jpalthe difference between a house with- j ! out paint, or with one coat in a lifetime, ! with no blinds, no pleasant door-yard, j ; no ta6ty fences around the house, no j i shad# trees, no fruit-trees,- no beds of j ; flowers, no vine3 climbing up the porches, ] no garden wormy 01 name, uu ?uug, neu- i ! painted out-houses, no nicely graveled j i walks; but in their places we often find ! | a dwelling out of repair, out-houses in a ; I state of decay, fences in a poor condi- j | tion, and the general appearance of the , | place repugnant to our feelings. We see i I the old sign, "This place for sale," hang I ing on an old tree with barely a leaf on i ! it.' Here it has hung for many years,! and there it will continue to hang, prob-; ; ably, till the owner goes into his grave. Nobody wants to buy such a forlorn looking home, and people in search of a j country place pass on until they see anj other sign: "This place for sale;" and j j here they find order, taste, and neatness ! prevailing?a beautiful cottage or rather 'style of house, out-buildings in perfect repair, fences neat and in good order, ! shade trees abundant, fruit trees loaded 1 with good apples, plums and cherriSs. [In the well planned garden they find an j abundance of strawberries, raspberries, j i currants, gooseberries, quinces, grapes;' j aad the place suits them, and they pur-! | chase it. Now, this place costs but iittlc ! j more fhan the one they passed, in regard i to its adornments. What was done to J kauitifv it wris done bv decrees. and the expense was never felt as amounting to i much; and so it always is with people tmyfepgHnrgcc 11- -aj ,; the right manner?Farmers Friend. What Shall*We Eat? Here are some of the common articles ! of food, showing amount of nutri-j j ment contained, and the time required j I for digestion: Time of Amount of: Digestion. Nutriment. 1 Apples, raw. 1 h. 50 ni. 10 per cent. : ! Beans, boiled, 2 h. 30 m. 37 " " Beef^ roasted, 3 h. 30 ni. 20 " " j ; Bread, baked, 3 li. 30 m. f?0 ' " j Butter, 3 k. 30 m. 90 " " j I Cabbage, boiled, 1 li. 30 in. 7 " " 11 j Cacniuber, raw, 5 li. 30 m. o " " 11 ; Fisb, boiled, 2 li. 20 44 44 j j Milk, fresh, 2 h. 15 m. 7 ' ' I Mutton, roasted. 3 li. 15 ie. 30 " " ( j Pork, roasted, 5 li. 15 m. 21 ' " j ! Poultry, roasted, * 2 h. 13 m. 27 " " | Potatoes, boiled, 2 h. 30 m. 13 " " j I'ice, boiled, 1 h. 38 ' " j I Sugar, 3 h. 30 m. 90 44 ' i Turnips, boiled, 2 h. 30 m. 4 ' j i Veal, roasted. 4 b. 25 " " t Vcnsion, boiled, 1 b. 30 m. 22 " 44 i According to the above table, cucnm-j ! hers are of very little value, and apples, ! cabbage, turnips, and even potatoes, at i i the present prices, are expensive eating. | Some vegetables and fruits should, how-;, ! ever, enter into family consumption, even ! | if purchased for sanitary reasons. Among ; ! fUnca winVb contain the most saccharine i : matter, sweet potatoes, parsnips, beets' j and carrots are the most nourishing. 1 j Roast pork, besides being as expensive ; dish, requires too leugthy^daain upon the : forces of the stomack to be a healthy : article of diet. | Tiie Beautiful Would.?Ah! this beau-1 ' tiful* world ! Indeed, we know not what, ; to ihinlc of it. Sometimes it is all glad-' | ness and sunshiue, and heaven itself lies j I not fur off. And then it changes sud| denly, and is dark and sorrowful, and the , clouds shut out the sky. In the lives of ^the saddest of us there are bright days ^ like this, when we feel as if we could j take the great world iu our arms. Then come the crloomv hours, when the fire ^iil neither burn in onr hearts, nor on ! onr hearths; and all without and within; ! is dismal, cold and dark. Every heart i has its secret sorrows, and oftentimes we ' ! call a man cold when he is only sad. i There are two classes of men generally i i.n the wrong, those who don't know, , enough, and those who know too ( The'best inheritance from ypjr father I] is poveity and a good urine. If youi! have both of ti>- se vpd~are unusually for-; ; tunate, a: i v ni/''1,V0.s^.;,,ts in life ai*e ?t1 the briehi'..t . I : L For the Last Time. There is a touch of pathos about doing eveh the simplest thing "for the last time." It is not alone kissing the dead that gives jou this strange pain. Yoti feel it when you hare looked your last upon some scene you have loved?when you stand in some quiet city street where you know that you will never stand again. Theactor playing his part for th* last time; the singer whose voice is cracked hopelessly, and who, after this oDce, will never stand ' before the eea of uplifted faces disputing the plaudits with fresher voiced and fairer form; the minister who has preached his last sermon? these all know the didden bitterness of the two words "never again." How they come to ns on onr birthdays as we grow older. Never again young?the end which is universal, "the last thing," which shall follow all last things, and turn them, let us hope, from pain to joy. We put away our boyish toys with an old headache. We were too old to walk any longer on our stilts?too tall to play marbles on the sidewald. Yet there was a pang when we thought we had played with our merry thoughts for the- lost time, and life's serious, grown-up work was waiting for us. May it not be that these, too. shall seem in the light of some far off day as the boyish games seem to our manhood, and we.shall learn that death is but the opening of the gate into the new land of promise? A good wife is the greatest earthly blessing. Xo man can either live piously or die righteously without a wife. "A kiss," says a Freuce lady, "costs less and gratifies more than any thing Ase. , -.Men, .usually Mow their wirfSfiai sntlenng corapeistnefttloToJTow^uSr^f^ judgment. One reason why babies should not be' carried to church is that they generally convert the sanctuary into a bawl room. Thin man?"Boy, what's that hungry dog following me for ? " Insulting boy? "He thinks you are a bone, I reckon!" "I can't find bread for my family," said a lazy fellow in company. "Nor I," replied an industrion miller; "I'm obliged to work for it." \ Wishing to be witty, a dandy accosted - * ? //tr j i l* an old ragman as louows; "iou rase an sorts of trumpery in your cart, don't you? " "Yes; jump in, sir." Tbe first day a little boy went to school' the teacher asked him if he could spell. "Yes, sir." "Well, how do yon spellboy." "0, just as other folks do!"' Here is a touching expression of pa-rental grief from a tomb-stone: Beneath this sod our baby lays, It no more screams nor hollers:. It lived just 27 days.. And cost us 40 dollars. A mother admonishing her son, a lad' about seven years of age, told him he should never put off till to-morrow anything that he could do to day. The little urchin replied, "Then, mother, let's eat the remainder of the plum-pudding tonight!" 9 A little darkey slipped off of a steeproof and exclaimed: "Good Loi'd, ketchme! ketch me, good Lord! " Just then his breeches caught on a* nail and held him, ;?.ud lie cried out, "Xebber mind,, good Lord; a nail done cotch me." Miss Susan Nipper, who lived in a,small tenement, a lcne woman, was quite fluttered the other morning by an early call from a bachelor neighbor. "What do you come here after?**' said Miss Nipper. "I came to borrow matches," he yf m' replied. "Matches! That's a." likely story. Why don't you m&kejfr match ? I know what you said the exasperated old ^ backed the bachelor into |l nrlJ came here to hng "Jjgfgtai 70a are' death. Batjou^^j knows tW the stron vou are . > ? ., .^n. Mass., a school-teacher asked Ar ;l 'ttle girl who the first man was. She mswered. that she did not know. The piestion was then put to the next, an. Irish child, who answered loudly, "Adam, sir," with apparent satisfaction. "Law!" said the first scholar, "yon needn't fcek so proud about it: he wasn't an Irishman !."