VOL. 7. LEXINGTON, SOUTH CAROLINA^ WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 1877. NO 26;
THE LEXINGTON DISPATCH
13 published eyeey wednesday,
By Godfrey M. JIarman,
LEXIHGT05 0. E., S. C.
' RATES OF A^I'EHTISTXG.
- * '
^Advertisements wilKbe inserted at the rate
of oue dollar per square o&oiie inch space for 1
V ' . dr.st insertion, and fifty cents per square for
r each cibsepaent insertion. \
jV. - Liberal contracts inaie with those wishing
tVidvertise for three, six or twelve months.
'j Marriage notices inserted free.
Obituaries over ten lines charged for at re'gn
_ ^ . lar advertising rates.
All Remittances and Subscriptions, together
vith ill Business Letters for the Dispatch.
should be addressed to
G .M. HAEMAN, Proprietor.
i car."" . tl'inhw r-ittq in a^votlffl
j- i
. i
rare PAPER is ON FILE WITH
Where Advertising Contracts can bo matiob
i 1 - J . j4
\; '- -
35SI HEED THE ;
T I' TT*S Bnai o A A 1 PILLS
?s?Wsrds of Advice, ritK 1
TCTT'3 PILLS 1
TUTT'S "R E<*T F^I*" T offpie.! hy iLLLS
TDTTN W. II. TI'TT. M.U., lor many pill<
wwc Tear* IVtunuvtralor of Anstomv iu pT? i < J
^ly.^ibeMpdic.-iHo'IeypofCeorcia. ?pf, >"
- Thirty years' rvjK-rlpa?-e 11 Hug"'}~L
- "praetteeofnMnilciue.iogotbervriiu
T: ; "SfiK'-r-it reri->" n of Tutt> Hi:*. PILI.s :
T '>.T'>o "f1 tbe.i":o:v:j*>4? of PILLS
i ;.ir{;en <-f th-lr ePicaev. vrwra-lt; epfLI.S
f . . i:> "sv i.-i 11:3: I'.jev will l>o?lllVt!y pjLi.s
. t.ro ^11 .ii-n-aresfh.*t from a t.jt i s
. ?U?v. < | ;ivor. niv\ wr r?t ror-PTT',,,
a , % .> ' s :irnt t
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T? r : i- l ii'-s.J' ki'' I I'? P'Lijo ?I
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j i fTTT'S Palpitate ft U?e Heart. K idrey IMLI S
f T-j7T?<i AfrVotl-Ar.. J'H.1. \ j
.. ..T m-all of v.i'-h J wills from il'Taii; * i I S
: t^Uvi+.i.oB:e.K'.| H.l?asp:rl*s i
' ? vii A 4*V4* r-o* e-? ?<? iwe.vv'.pil 3; W-.fjr-Ic '
l 'yJ.T>*n"rT'? vr. "T.-.uLi-: l:vi:r?'!*< ?
r. IW'.fJ'il.fs. ' PILLS
MITT'S ; - - v: PI L<
Ti'T-r'sj rrrrs v i.i/a j pills
?*&?, ri'TT'S : CT!i? bit & KLAtUtJIIX TILLS
X TUT 'S : . : PILLS ;:
X TLTi"S j-lCVTW - * : J ILLS
^rlii" i
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IP'TTTTO jAES rUKKLx v::ge:'ABT.E.- J-.W.N y
; ? OTT S : f?|? |.
} TUT** : 1
( TUTT'S I ITITS T5: 1.1,3 -:
i TUTT'S : rUYEi; GK! E Gii AAUSr.- : PILLS 1
{ .TUTT'S ATE. : TILLS I
i ) TUTT'S i : \ i'-LLS i I
I / TUTT'S = 3 ILLS
/ t - : THKDEMAST) TOR TUTT'S: 1'ILI.S ;
f ? TCTT'3 -PILLS is not r/?r>lln<-4 !o H.Lj 3 i l.l.S
_ i TUTT'S :coontrv,1?nt cxti-uds loall partb- J ILLS i(
K TUTT'S ioftLe world. : PI11.S
i TCTT'S : ! TILLS
D TUTT'S - : TILLS
-L TUTT'S ACLEARIIKAD.oJ.isfic linibs,: TILLS . i
m / TUTT'S icood digestion, suun-1 bleep.- TILLS
/ TUTT'S ibnoynnt spirit*, Cno Rppotif*'.- PII.LS I r
/ TCTT'S tare row of the results of tlso- PILLS ; r
J* TUTT'S fnsoof TUTT'S TILLS. TILLS [
1/ TCTT'S PILLS
U TUTT'S - : TILLS ,
I, TUTT'S: AS A FAMILY MEDICINE : PILLS
TUTT'S - TUTT'S TILLS A HE THE | TILLS |l
TUTT'S : I'.KST?PERFECTLY UARR- ' TILLS 1
TUTT'S : LESS. : TILLS ,r
TUTT'S : : TILLS
TCTT'S : - : TILLS j
TUTT'S : SOT.T FYERYWHEEE. j TILLS
TUTT'S : PRICE, TWESTY-FIA'E CTS.: PILLS t
TUTT'S : - : PILLS
TUTT'S : - ; TILLS I
TUTT'S : PRINCIPAL OFFICE : TILLS
TUTT'S : 18 MURRAY STREET, j TILLS f
TUTT'S I SEW YORK. : TILLS 1
v TUTT'S : : TILLS j
91. TUTT'S ;<
This unrivaled preparation lias per- *
\ formed some of t!ic most astonishing s
; a; ' aires that arc recorded in the annals of
history. Patients suTcrin^ for years from ;
f the various d'sep>es of the Lungs, after f
; \ hying different remedies, spending thousands
of dollars in traveling and doctor- j V
... rr t... ?i? 1 t ;
' entirely recovered their health. !'
1^ S i"WON'T 69 TO Fl"Ri9A " I1
C*^ f irctvYorfc, August 30,1372. , t
fei 0??. TUTT:
Dear SirWhen la Aikca. lent via!cr, I used your t
; Expectorant for my cough. and realized more he-tent !.
V ' from it than anything I ever took. I am so-well that |'
- ^ * I.will not go to Florida next .winter as I intended. 1 .
m ; 8end mo orto dozen bottles. by express. for cstr.o
& ! friend*. ALFUED CTT3Hi:*<?, ,
. G~*t \ 123 West Thirty-flrstSlritt. 1
Eostoa, January 11,1374.
{ This certifies that I have recommenced the tnc of ; I
pnTutt'S Expectorant for diseaso^cr the lunga
Jar the past tgo years, and to my knovitodge many \
fc? ^jttThs have been used by my patients with the happiest
resnlts. In two cases where It was thought con flrmcd
consumption had taken place the Expectorant l
.effected a care. It. H. SFHAQT7D, M.D.
"We can not speak too highly of Dr. Tutt's Ex- ?
pectorant, and for the sake of suffering humanitj j
hope it may become more generally known."?Chris
TIAN Al>voCATR
Sold by Druggists. Trtce Sl.00
Jan 31?ly j
I Revue l)e La 3Io(le.
| The Cheapest and JJest (
S Fashion .Journ;ii. ,
1 |Hi IVES over 1.600 useful illustrations, "00
B \Jf Patterns, and 12 large liij/li:v (' 'med 1
Steel E N G B A VIN GS yearly, 'r 1
be Monthlvat $3.50 a vear. Address.
g S. T. TA YLOIt.
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I THE GREAT
k Conservative Paper ! i!
||Br^T/ie Charleston Sews and Con- j]
B| DAILY, TBI-WEEKLY, AND WEEKLY.
IBB " ~~ PUBLISHED BY ?'
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HB Office Xo. 10 Broad Street,
-- - _ . A M i
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The Daily News for ?ue voar $10. Of' 1
Tri-weekly News for oiieyear 5.00 <
Weekly News for one year 2.oo (
The Charleston News is the* leading Demo- (
critic Jonrual of this State, and has a large
circulation in the .Southern States. Vivr- !
tiding inserted at liberal rates.
gj fortwi.
TEEY MET-THEY PARTED.
iV>.s , r. ?
Upon the sofa, as they sat,
The lorers "talked in pleasant chat
Of that and that, and this and that,
^Bu t of their wedding mainlr?
He said'"yes, yes," to alUhat she '
IHonght, in her judgment, best would be. \
"One thing-, dear Gus, I think should be i
Undaratood now quite plainly."
. f
"Go on," said Gus, "just speak it out;
['re notihe faintest shade of doubt
That still iu all things we'll agree
And and, us we're begun?
Twjp souls with but a single thought, ,
Two hearts that beat as one!'"
k loving smile, a tender squeeze,
Gus added to his language:
Ibeii Sue these softly spoken words
Between his hugs did sandwich:
Of coiwee-wamma, will lire with ua,
ind 'rute the roost' my darhug Gus,
For that you know, she's use' ter."
'Not much!" cried Gus, iu temper high,:
iud grasped his bat and cried "Good-bye*
Lbut settles it 'twixt you and I!
lieeorded is uiv vow on high;
So iuotb?T-iu-l*w, with threatening eye, j
iud tougne all peace to crucify,
Shall ever rule this rooster!"
Sftisfcllaneous.
Inquisitive Busy-Bodies.
BY BEY. W. H. LUCKEJJBACH.
There is no impertinence more offeu-j
-ive than that which is ever prying into '
;ouie inquisitive busy-tody happeui.jgj
lpon you, and feel at the same time that;
rottr sense of-.^politemss forbids the in- j
erjection of an indignant rebuke. It is |
i crucial test to which are subjected one's
Jhristinn graces of patience, meekness,;
ong snffeiing and love, when, some
jossip-scenter, nosing his way into a i
jronp of friends, begins to smell about |
lira for choice bit. of scandal that he!
nay swallow, and, liko se ine rnminatingT
>east, either chew at his leisure alone,!
>n meeting with some fellow-kine, work ,
t up from his surcharged stomach for !
heir common delectation. We have but;
ittle more respect for such an one than
or his animal prototype?the dog. And I
i is only our ruritance regard for!
Christian decorum that restj^ins onr i
iglit foot from exercising upon him a!
unction which it can always most effec !
ually perform when encased in a good, i
tiff boot.
If this striking corrective, however, is j
:onsidered by the merciful as too severe, j
vill they please to tell us what ought to 1
>e done with the pestiferous bnsv-body?
irony wounds him as little as an arrow
he air. Ridicule excites no laughter j
hat can make him ashamed of his con- j
eraptible vice. Religion pleads vaiuly"
igainst the mischiefs he occasions. Pui-!
>it and press are alike unable to make
liin mind his own and let other peopleVj
msiuess alone. What can be done, th^n.
vith thfc petty, whispering-.busy-body?
If be be at all sensible of bis despica>le
vice, and disposed to confess his lin-.
jual sins, vet is afraid to attempt a re
urination, lest he should fail, it might j
;elp him very much in his dilemma, to
mmitate tlie example of old cranes. It j
s a. weakness ol their ioni nature mat
alien living they keep up a constant!
ackie. Learning by srl experience that'
his silly cackling only betrayed their!
vbereabonts to the hungry eagles'
ovooping near them for *a meal, and
museums too. or ;l,<e strength of their
laturai impulse to cackle, it is said that j
%
nstiuct has lan.i.'lit them, that they \cn-|
rue upon a tight, to put. a stone in their'
nouths large enough to enforce silence
Inconvenient as this might be to. the
padding busy-body?to start from his
iiojne with a stone in his month some
iv11ant less than a boulder?vet lie may j
tVel very confident that, thus prepared |
for social intercourse, he wili he wel- .
'onied far more he-utiiv into any family !
'irele in his neighborhood, than if lie;
*am* without such an ornamental gos
sil-w
It is fabled of u MTtliieal old lad v.
*
that she had eyes somewhat like spectacles.
She coald take them out and put'
them back again in their socket* at
pleasure. But she never used them ex- j
cept when she went abroad. At home!
she kept tbem locked up iu her drawer.
There she was as blind as a bat, but out
upon the streets, or in a neighbor's
house, the could see everything that was
transpiring. ^ How typical is this of the
ing to this description, whether male or
female, and he, or she, who willingly
countenances such a Mr. or Mrs. Paul
Pry, should be served as our old raoralizer
suggests, "That both the teller and
hearer of gossip ought equally to be
hanged; the one by tl e tongue and the
other by the ears." ...
' Especially contemptible is'Jhis mie-!
chievods habit of prying into other
people's affairs, when it is accompanied
with an affectation of regret for their
follies. imperfections, and failings. It is
u very easy thing to regret others' sins
and shortcomings?to run into a neighbor's
house, when somyv^Loice bit. of
schamile has worked its't# eurfaceward
from the sinks of society, to express!
one's sorrow that Such peiii- j
tential, self-constituted otjTifesxors of
otl er sinners' guilt should remember-,
however that their simulated sorrow is
too thin a veil to conceal their teal sorriness
which, if they consult "Webster's
Unabridged" thev will learn is quite a
different thing. Their self satiifieing itfc
tfrest. in the moral or immoral status ot
other sinners would doubtless find]
enough to "keep it busy and active if (hey J
stuid at home, and now and then put toj
themselves torturing questions nbuj^j
their own. In the language of George
Herbert. *
By all means use sometimes to he alone
Salute thyself: see what thy soul doth j
TJ'.d'h 1:. UJJ. viMM., iui 'lis n.Tiiv
own;
And ^ttimble up and down what thou j
4 fiud'sf there.
Whf^mnot rest till lie good fellows find, j
He breaks up houses," turns out of
doors his mind.
Sum up by night what thou hast done by ,
day;
And in the morning, what thou hast;
to do,
Dress and undress thv soul; mark the j
decay
And growth of it; if, with thy watch,
, that too
Bedown, then wind np both; siuce we
shall he
Most surely judged, make thy accounts
agree."
Wife, Mistress and "Lady."
Who marrit-s for love, takes a wife;
who marries for fortune, takes a mistress;
who marries for position, takes a
latfy. You are loved by your wife, re-j
garded by your mistress, and tolerated !
bv vonr ladv. You have a wife for Your-!
self, a mistress for your homeland friends, j
a lady fur the world and society. Your;
wife will, agree with ycu, your mistressI
will rule you, your lady manage you.
Your wife will take care of your bouse-1
hold, your mistress of your house, your
lady of appearances. If yon are sick,
your wife will nurse you. your mistress
will visit you, your lady will inquire after
your health. You take a walk with|
your wife, a ride with your mistress, and
go to a party with your lady. Your
wife will share your grief, your inistrei-s
your money, your lady your debts. If,
you die, your wife will weep, your mis j
tress will lament, and your lady wear
...
mourning. Which will you have?
Novel and Remarkable Fate of a Hen?
A brother in-law of a well known New j
Ilaven gentleman, says the Journal, en-i
gaged in the gun business, dropped a j
pistol cartridge in the yard of his residence,
a while ago, and has sine# found
out where it went to. One of his hens
not at all uppre hen-sive picked it up,
i ,i u?. m,?i ?r .,!
JIIMI iu>v>u IIIC utiMt w* t4
shell?not favorable to egg making or;
longevity?for a dav or two afterward she '
*
was blown into mincemeut by the explo-!
sion of the cartridge inside of her digestive
apparatus This is a fact.
The honeymoon had long gone by!
when a melancholy husband wearily confessed
himself to a friend: ''What do yon
think'? I could never have imagined if!
In the first days of our married life she
was an angel?so dear and lovely that I
could have eaten her up." -t'And now?"
asked his friend. "Now I repent of not
having done it.''*
H Let us be More Social.
u* ?
j' '^En order to increase the sum of human
happiness, wc should cultivate kind and
ttlternal feelinga with ore another. A
t^fae life consists in something else than
accumulating property. We do
- * ? a i .1 yi
Pi and cannot "lire oy oreau aione.
writer discourses on this subject most
$ethitifully as follows:
tmfyTb? sole object and aim of too many
duals seems to be to get gain, "grab
let' the consequnces be what they
obay to others. The desire to accumulate
wealth, regardless of the comfort
and social happiness of our neighbors.
Ogd the interchange of friendly sontikment,
should be ignored. On the other
htnd, we should so live and act that the
generous impulses of our own hearts
vnuld prompt us to extend the hand of
! ^jlowship to all of our neighbors, and.
leaking them squerely in the eye, feel
twt glorious inward consciousness that
wp had never wronged them in thought,
\#>rd or show. Then, too, let litlle deed?
<gJdove be done; let the principles of the
^dden rule be exemplified in daily lives;
Stt.ns be mora social, and cultivate our
1 ? *?-1 K* ffui-inont inter
IJjnYlVUI CjUilllilCO K'J
ge of friendly greetings at social
'?herings; let no aristocracy be acjfowledged
save that of the intellect;
let ns make them what thev shobld be by
flLerisbing a love for the beautiful, so
^Blessing.-, may attend us forever;
JfAud whatever we may pray for or do,
dHgj our lives be oue grand endeavor
tvpft the pure, the good and the true!"
^ A Healthy Free Lunch.
% ? '
'' A tramp, while on his travels, noticed
a placard in front of a bar:room. _ It borfc
tfc-pleasing legend1, "Free Lunch," and
sandwich; theu the bar-keeper
wfrlTed up to the cadaverous wretch ancj.
s^id: )
i "lien who eat here are expected to pay
for h drink." '*
^"1 know it," said the tramp.
"Well, then, why don't yon conform to
the rule?"
"Cause I go for health, and don't drink
till I am through eating."
O O
""The bar keeper turned his back for a
moment, and the tramp slipped three
sandwiches into his coat pocket, and
calmly devoured four; then he walked
up to the bar, and to the dispenser of
stimulants huskily whispered:
"Gimme a glass o' water,,will ye?"
"What! water, after sandwiches?" bellowed
the bar keeper, angrily.
*'Ycs'r, water," replied the tramp.?
L???> ? ''" inl/iti' i\ it v>i<rli nnln fnrfv
1 UVCU a Ul 1UA1U V/ a v
years, and it's just the healthiest stuff
?goin\"
And be hobbled out; tut if he bad
caught the foot that flew after him, he
wouldn't have bean satisfied with the
"booty" of his visit.?Detroit Free Press.
Late Marriages.
It is to be deplored that our young
people are reluctant to marry because
thoy cannot at once set up expensive or
stylish housekeeping. Late marriages
are becoming so largely characteristic of
social life on these false and selfish
grounds of social economy, that society
as a whole, and religious life in particular.
are seriously damaged. If a man
has gained a position that enables him
to marry with ordinary prudence, let
hiiu marry, and let not the prudence be
pressed too hard: young love, if true and
godly, will make early straggle wholesome
and joyous. If he has found a woman
who will make happy, let him take her
to a modest home, the loving wife of his
youth. His life and his fortunes will be
better for it ?
A commercial exchange says: "Hogs
are dull." We never thought hogs were
very sharp. Winn one breaks into o
cabbage patch you may < base it fourteen
times around the lot, and it will try to
crawl through every three inch crack in
the fence without once seeing the hole it
made to get in.
An Irishman, who had been sick a
long time, was one day met by the palish
i-rUst, when the following con versa
rion to-'k place: "Well, Patrick, I am
plitd you have recovered; but were yon
*
not afraid to meet your God? " "Oh. no,
yer iviverance, it was meetin' the other
U'hap that I was nfeard uv!" replied Pat.
i
J
Beautify Your Homes.
I . t
It is astonishing to soe the lack of
| taste around many village and farm
i houses; and their owners seem to think
! that it is nioner thrown away to beautifv
I their homes; but let them offer their
j places for sale, and then they will jpalthe
difference between a house with- j
! out paint, or with one coat in a lifetime,
! with no blinds, no pleasant door-yard, j
; no ta6ty fences around the house, no j
i shad# trees, no fruit-trees,- no beds of j
; flowers, no vine3 climbing up the porches,
] no garden wormy 01 name, uu ?uug, neu- i
! painted out-houses, no nicely graveled j
i walks; but in their places we often find !
| a dwelling out of repair, out-houses in a ;
I state of decay, fences in a poor condi- j
| tion, and the general appearance of the ,
| place repugnant to our feelings. We see i
I the old sign, "This place for sale," hang I
ing on an old tree with barely a leaf on i
! it.' Here it has hung for many years,!
and there it will continue to hang, prob-;
; ably, till the owner goes into his grave.
Nobody wants to buy such a forlorn
looking home, and people in search of a
j country place pass on until they see anj
other sign: "This place for sale;" and j
j here they find order, taste, and neatness
! prevailing?a beautiful cottage or rather
'style of house, out-buildings in perfect
repair, fences neat and in good order,
! shade trees abundant, fruit trees loaded
1 with good apples, plums and cherriSs.
[In the well planned garden they find an j
abundance of strawberries, raspberries, j
i currants, gooseberries, quinces, grapes;'
j aad the place suits them, and they pur-!
| chase it. Now, this place costs but iittlc !
j more fhan the one they passed, in regard
i to its adornments. What was done to J
kauitifv it wris done bv decrees. and the
expense was never felt as amounting to
i much; and so it always is with people
tmyfepgHnrgcc 11- -aj
,; the right manner?Farmers Friend.
What Shall*We Eat?
Here are some of the common articles
! of food, showing amount of nutri-j
j ment contained, and the time required j
I for digestion:
Time of Amount of:
Digestion. Nutriment.
1 Apples, raw. 1 h. 50 ni. 10 per cent. :
! Beans, boiled, 2 h. 30 m. 37 " "
Beef^ roasted, 3 h. 30 ni. 20 " " j
; Bread, baked, 3 li. 30 m. f?0 ' "
j Butter, 3 k. 30 m. 90 " " j
I Cabbage, boiled, 1 li. 30 in. 7 " " 11
j Cacniuber, raw, 5 li. 30 m. o " " 11
; Fisb, boiled, 2 li. 20 44 44 j
j Milk, fresh, 2 h. 15 m. 7 ' '
I Mutton, roasted. 3 li. 15 ie. 30 " " (
j Pork, roasted, 5 li. 15 m. 21 ' " j
! Poultry, roasted, * 2 h. 13 m. 27 " "
| Potatoes, boiled, 2 h. 30 m. 13 " "
j I'ice, boiled, 1 h. 38 ' " j
I Sugar, 3 h. 30 m. 90 44 '
i Turnips, boiled, 2 h. 30 m. 4 ' j
i Veal, roasted. 4 b. 25 " "
t Vcnsion, boiled, 1 b. 30 m. 22 " 44
i According to the above table, cucnm-j
! hers are of very little value, and apples,
! cabbage, turnips, and even potatoes, at i
i the present prices, are expensive eating.
| Some vegetables and fruits should, how-;,
! ever, enter into family consumption, even !
| if purchased for sanitary reasons. Among ;
! fUnca winVb contain the most saccharine i
: matter, sweet potatoes, parsnips, beets'
j and carrots are the most nourishing. 1
j Roast pork, besides being as expensive ;
dish, requires too leugthy^daain upon the
: forces of the stomack to be a healthy
: article of diet.
| Tiie Beautiful Would.?Ah! this beau-1
' tiful* world ! Indeed, we know not what,
; to ihinlc of it. Sometimes it is all glad-'
| ness and sunshiue, and heaven itself lies j
I not fur off. And then it changes sud|
denly, and is dark and sorrowful, and the ,
clouds shut out the sky. In the lives of
^the saddest of us there are bright days
^ like this, when we feel as if we could j
take the great world iu our arms. Then
come the crloomv hours, when the fire
^iil neither burn in onr hearts, nor on
! onr hearths; and all without and within;
! is dismal, cold and dark. Every heart i
has its secret sorrows, and oftentimes we
'
! call a man cold when he is only sad.
i There are two classes of men generally
i i.n the wrong, those who don't know, ,
enough, and those who know too (
The'best inheritance from ypjr father I]
is poveity and a good urine. If youi!
have both of ti>- se vpd~are unusually for-;
; tunate, a: i v ni/''1,V0.s^.;,,ts in life ai*e ?t1
the briehi'..t
. I
: L
For the Last Time.
There is a touch of pathos about doing
eveh the simplest thing "for the last
time." It is not alone kissing the dead
that gives jou this strange pain. Yoti
feel it when you hare looked your last
upon some scene you have loved?when
you stand in some quiet city street where
you know that you will never stand
again. Theactor playing his part for th*
last time; the singer whose voice is
cracked hopelessly, and who, after this
oDce, will never stand ' before the eea of
uplifted faces disputing the plaudits with
fresher voiced and fairer form; the minister
who has preached his last sermon?
these all know the didden bitterness of
the two words "never again." How
they come to ns on onr birthdays as we
grow older. Never again young?the
end which is universal, "the last thing,"
which shall follow all last things, and
turn them, let us hope, from pain to joy.
We put away our boyish toys with an
old headache. We were too old to walk
any longer on our stilts?too tall to play
marbles on the sidewald. Yet there was
a pang when we thought we had played
with our merry thoughts for the- lost
time, and life's serious, grown-up work
was waiting for us. May it not be that
these, too. shall seem in the light of some
far off day as the boyish games seem to
our manhood, and we.shall learn that
death is but the opening of the gate into
the new land of promise?
A good wife is the greatest earthly
blessing.
Xo man can either live piously or die
righteously without a wife.
"A kiss," says a Freuce lady, "costs
less and gratifies more than any thing
Ase. ,
-.Men, .usually Mow their wirfSfiai
sntlenng corapeistnefttloToJTow^uSr^f^
judgment.
One reason why babies should not be'
carried to church is that they generally
convert the sanctuary into a bawl room.
Thin man?"Boy, what's that hungry
dog following me for ? " Insulting boy?
"He thinks you are a bone, I reckon!"
"I can't find bread for my family," said
a lazy fellow in company. "Nor I," replied
an industrion miller; "I'm obliged
to work for it." \
Wishing to be witty, a dandy accosted
- * ? //tr j i l*
an old ragman as louows; "iou rase an
sorts of trumpery in your cart, don't
you? " "Yes; jump in, sir."
Tbe first day a little boy went to school'
the teacher asked him if he could spell.
"Yes, sir." "Well, how do yon spellboy."
"0, just as other folks do!"'
Here is a touching expression of pa-rental
grief from a tomb-stone:
Beneath this sod our baby lays,
It no more screams nor hollers:.
It lived just 27 days..
And cost us 40 dollars.
A mother admonishing her son, a lad'
about seven years of age, told him he
should never put off till to-morrow anything
that he could do to day. The little
urchin replied, "Then, mother, let's eat
the remainder of the plum-pudding tonight!"
9
A little darkey slipped off of a steeproof
and exclaimed: "Good Loi'd, ketchme!
ketch me, good Lord! " Just then
his breeches caught on a* nail and held
him, ;?.ud lie cried out, "Xebber mind,,
good Lord; a nail done cotch me."
Miss Susan Nipper, who lived in a,small
tenement, a lcne woman, was quite
fluttered the other morning by an early
call from a bachelor neighbor. "What
do you come here after?**' said Miss Nipper.
"I came to borrow matches," he yf
m' replied. "Matches! That's a."
likely story. Why don't you m&kejfr
match ? I know what you
said the exasperated old ^
backed the bachelor into |l nrlJ
came here to hng "Jjgfgtai 70a are'
death. Batjou^^j knows tW
the stron
vou are . > ?
., .^n. Mass., a school-teacher asked
Ar ;l
'ttle girl who the first man was. She
mswered. that she did not know. The
piestion was then put to the next, an.
Irish child, who answered loudly, "Adam,
sir," with apparent satisfaction. "Law!"
said the first scholar, "yon needn't fcek
so proud about it: he wasn't an Irishman
!."