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lu 1608 King James published his famous "Book of Sports" and, thinking to render the Presbyterian form of worship less rigid, ordered that cer tain of the sports therein commended . should be played in the, several church? yards every Sunday at the close of divine'service. John Boss, a minister of Blairgowrie, adopted a novel method of withstanding the royal ordinance. He was a strong, athletic man and seemed much interested In the recrea tions enjoined by the monarch. Foot ball was selected by the parishioners of Blairgowrie from the list of "Sun Cay games." When the services of the church were completed Mr. Boss ap peared among his people in the church yard and joined them in their sport None of the assemblage kicked more eagerly at the- football than did the reverend incumbent But constant misfortune seemed to attend him. Ev ery kick missed the ball and fell heavi ly on the ankles of those who stood near. Apologies were promptly ten dered and, of course, received, though evsry Sunday many of the parishion ers returned home halting. Finally it was agreed that on account of the minister's awkwardness the games should be abandoned. Thus the in genious divine gamed his end and pre vented compliance with the obnoxious order. Where Greek Met Greek. The marble clock in the dining room had just announced in mellow tones the hour of 3 a. m., when the wife of the plumber nudged him and whis pered nervously: "Horace, there's a burglar in the house!" "There is, hey?" answered the hus band, BOW thoroughly awake. "I'll see about him." With cunning stealth he got out of bed and tiptoed out of the room. For ten minutes no sound broke the awful stillness. Then the house shook, with a. crash. There was a century of si lence. Then a chair fell, the front dcor slammed and a heavy bundie thumped down the front stairs and into the street The terrified wife fainted, to be brought back to consciousness by the voice of her husband. "It's all right dear. I threw him out" he chuckled as he turned on the light "But the scoundrel had only $4.30 in his clothes."-Judge. How Mayne Reid Won His Brid?. It was through his novel, "The Scalp Hunters," that Captain Mayne Beid won a bride. He was thirty years old when he met a damsel of thirteen, with whom he at once fell in love.. The child took no notice of him, but he gave her the story to read. Two years later the young lady was at a public meeting where Captain Held spoke on behalf of the Polish refugees. "An electric thrill seemed to pass through me as he entered the room," she said afterward, and when the meeting was over she went up to him. "I leave for London on the nert train," he said hur riedly. "Please send me your ad dress^_ "I do not know where," she replied, winTsroxit^?, instantly handed out Ihis^HToT?nd was gone. A formal little note followed: "Dear Captain Reid-As you asked me to send you my ad<lress, I do so." By return of post came the answer, "Only say that you love me and I will be -with, you at once," and then the reply, .T think I do love yon." Whittier's Applause. In his declining years the poet Whit tier was extremely absentminded. He attended a church meeting where there were a large number of persons. As his presence was known., it was deemed fitting by one of tlie speakers to quote the poet's lines: I ksow not where his islands lift Their fronded, palms in air; I only know I cannot drift Beyond his love and care. Great applause greeted the quotation, and Whittier wae? noticed to join in, the handclapping. "I suppose I must have had my mind on something else. I had no recollection of having written the verse," he said apologetically when his attention was called to the author ship.-Boston Post. Legrl Fiction. Says Sir Henry Maine in his "An cient Law:" "A legal fiction is the as sumption which conceals or affects to conceal the fact that a rule of law has undergone alteration, its letter remain lng unchanged while its operation has been modified. The fact is that the law has been changed; the fiction is that lt remains what it always waa." Frenzied Financiering. Columbus Washington Johnson Smith -Wafs de price er dem watermelons, Mr. Jackson? t Mr. Jackson (cunningly)-Ten cents erpiece and I picks 'em; 20 cents er plece and yon picks 'em, Mr. Smif. Mr. Smith-All right Mr. Jackson. I guesses m take 'em ail, and you picks 'em, ef you please !-Puck. What He Want.id. "You are a poor young man?" "I am." ""Then what you want is a thrifty, economical wife.'* "Not at aid. What I want is a rich libera wife." . In Luck. "Ifs no fun being married. M j wife is coming, to me all the time and asking for money!" "You're lucky! I have to ask m j wife always for money when I wan' any!" Reading In Bed. "Boya and girls under eighteei should be strictly forbidden to read ii bed," says the Lancet on the author ity of Dr. Hugo Feilchenfeld of Bei lin, who declares that in the case o young persons whose eyes are no fully developed the practice is liker, to Induce myopia. While young pee pie run the greatest risk, the Lance thinks that reading in bed is unde sirable for persons of any age am states that "in the case of aged, ans ions, worried and bedridden people, t whom it would seem cruelty to den; what may perhaps be almost thei only luxury, for fear of Inducing som slight error of refraction, care shout be taken that the light ls sufflclentl brilliant, the eyes being shaded froi it, and that the patient Hes on b! back with head and s?Gnl?ers raised. An Adveesto cf Pur? M?l'.<. * Nathan sti-?u.;. Ww New Vor!;-mer chant who has been selected as presi dent of the'. Bryan and Kern Business Men's association, ls better known as a philanthropist than politician. For fif teen years he has heeu .striving to im press upon the world the necessity of a sanitary milk supply and has spent KATHAN STBAUS. hundreds of thousands of dollars upon this and other charitable work. Through Mr. Straus* efforts plants for the pasteurizing of milk have been es tablished in mauy European cities. The all important plank of Mr. Straus' platform for Increasing the physical welfare and prolonging the lives of human beings is summed up in this statement: "Neither war, pesti lence nor famine claims so many vic tims as impure milk. It ls the.most terrible foe of humauity. all the more because lt gives uo outward sign of the danger. Let us pasteurize our milk supply. Let us have for our motto. 'Medicine and hospitals are possible cures, while pasteurization is positive prevention.' " A natlre of Bavaria. Mr. Straus came to New York in 1S54 with his parents when but six years old. He has accumulated a large fortuue in mercantile pursuits. Hard and Soft. "What," asked the teacher, "does anthracite mean?" "That's a kind of coal," said little Willie. "Yes. Anthracite coal is what we call hard coal. So 'anthracite' must mean 'hard.' Now, can you tell me what 'bituminous' means?" .That's coal, too," Willie replied. "But it isn't the same kind of coal that anthracite is, is it? Bituminous coal is what we commonly refer to as soft coal. Now, Willie, let us see if you can form a sentence containing the words anthracite and bituminous." S?53 'MnH?ijnatter over for a "Here's one: 'This morning^?e?oW" pa started downtown ma wanted -.$5 for groceries and things, and she tried to get it by sayhig bituminous words, but pa gave her an anthracite look, and when he disappeared around the corner she was weeping bitnminous ly.' "-Atlanta Constitution. The "Sm rt" Schoolboy. Modern children";; Intellects seem to bud and unfold much earlier than they did a generation or two ago. You of ten get some rare posers from the youth who is having his first taste of schooling. The other morning at break fast an admiring father asked his bud ding prime minister how he liked school. "Oh, very well, pa, except the mas ter with the star teeth!" "Star teeth! Star teeth!" puzzled the father. "What do you mean by star teeth?" "Why, you know, pa, those that come out at night." The attendant servant maid dropped the muffins, and pa suddenly found something o? exceptional interest in the morning paper.-Edinburgh Dis patch. Store Yoi To The Planters There seems to be a c of the planters to hoi er prices and we take them our Warehouse will store and insure I cents per bale, per rn? advances on same. We have just recei Coln ar Weber " '.Which are as good as the most", which we v to the wagon using pu We would also state, cotton-seed, at our Wa ways find Billie Lott or Give us a call, and ii will be no fault of ours Yours Tlio Mental Jog. "There is a certain type of person." said the business mau, "especially in New York, who seems unable to un derstand what is said to him-or her unless the.statement or remark ls pre fixed by some catchword, usually the word 'listen.' "For instance, 1 have a stenographer who simply stares at me in dumb amazement if I say anything to her without first saying 'Now, listen.' If I begin to dictate a letter to her she will not write a word if I forget to give that mental jog. When I snap that at her she will scratch like mad. She is not the only one. The tele phone girl cannot take a message un less lt has that prefix. When I nm out of the office and try to talk over the wire with her I must always be . gin, 'Now, listen,' or else she is hope lessly at sea and seems not to under stand a. word I say." -New York Press. . Different In Books. In the books this Is the way they say It: "Outside the wind moaned unceasing ly, its voice now that of a child which ?obs with itself in the night, now that of a woman who suffers her great pain alone, as women have suffered since life began, as women must suffer till life wears to its weary end. And min gled with the walling of wind ram fell -fell heavily, intermittently, like tears wrung from souls of strong men." Outside the books we say: "It's raining."-Alchlson Globe. The Brakeman's Joke. "Ran over a cow this morning up above Coffeyville." said the brakeman to a reporter. "How did lt happen?" asked the re porter. "She was drinking out of a creek under a bridge," shouted the brakeman as he swung on to the last car and went grinning out of town.-Kansas City Times. Brute! JImson-Where's your wife? Haven't seen ber often lately. Weed-Oh, 1 sent her away on a little vacation. JImson-So? Where'd she go? Weed To the Thousand Isles. JImson-Stay long? Weed-Yes. I told her to take a week to each Island.-Judge. A Saving Grace. Florence-I can't understand why Ethe] married Mr. Gunson. He is old enough to be her father. Lawrence Yes, but he is rich enough to be ber husband.-Exchange. Waterproof Coats of Grass. In the tropics of Mexico, where torrential rains fall a part of each year, raincoats are a very necessary part of man's apparel. Owing to the intense heat which prevails in ?je summer season the ordinary rubber raincoat cannot be worn. A rainproof coat is made from uative grasses and is worn by the men of the middle^ and upper classes. The grasses are woven close together, and it IS'IJII?HW slble for the rain to beat through them, no matter how hard the storm may be. Some of these coats are Ith a hood which protects the One Was Enough. "Papa, why didu't you wear a pair last night?" "A pair of what, child?" "A pair of skates." "What does the boy mean?" "Why, Bill, the coachman, told the cook that you had a lovely skate on last night when you came home."-Ex change. He Forged. Trotter-When young Blffkins left college a few years ago, he declared he was going to forge his way to thc front. Did he make good? Homer As a forger-yes. He's now occupying a front row cell in the penitentiary Chicago News. His Experience. Spector-Your new ^ house doesn't look much like the architect's original design. Victome-No, but lt looks more like it than the cost looks like his original estimate-Smart Set. If no fight, no victory; no victory, no crown.-Savonarola. ir Cotton of Edgefied County: lisposition on the part d their cotton forhigh : pleasure in offering facilities, where we their cotton for thirty Dnth and make liberal ved a car load of mbiis Ld Wagons? the best, and better than yould be pleased to sell blic. , that we are buyers of rehouse, and you will al i the spot, we don't do business, it (? 1845 S 1908 For upwards of half a hundred years our store has been supplying" the needs of the Christmas shoppers of Edgefield County. While our experienced buyer was in the Northern markets lie made his purchas es to suit the the people of every class and taste. See Our Beautiful Assortment ofC ut Glass Prices very low. We have the prettiest assortment of China ever shown in this market. Our vases are -particularly handsome and are being greatly admired. OUR DOLLS ARE BEAUTIFUL, All sizes ?nd prices. Just the kind we brought to Edgefield for Santa Claus. Have you seen our pictures? Large assortment at popular prices. We Want Everybody to Come and See For Themselves. PENN & HOLSTE Successors to G. L. Penn & Son. Shopping Made Easy Our Store The season in which hearts are made happy by the exchange of Christmas gifts is almost upon us, and to those who have great demands unon their time the selection of suitable gifts for father, husband, brother and Senti* man friends is rather a difficult undertaking. This problem is made easv at our store by our large stock of useful as well as beautiful merchandise that is suitable for holiday gifts. wwnoise, We eappy a very large stock of stylish and dependable clothing :n all the popular fabrics, weaves and colors. We sellthe celebrated Crossett Shoes and can fit you in vici, gun ietal? French calf or patent leather. Full assort ment of ?es in all of the popular lasts. We mj af lill stock of stylish hats for men and boys in all of thaatest blocks and colors Here ard few suggestions for Holiday gifts: IHATS SUSPENDERS SHOES LINEN HANDKERCHIEFS SUITS. . UMBRELLAS CRAVATS SILK HANDKERCHIEFS COLLARS OVER COATS CUFFS KAIN COATS HOSIERY DRESS GLOVES SUIT CASES DRIVING GLOVES A verlrge shipment of Beautiful Neckwear has Just beeii received; ordered ?special|)r the holidaj' shoppers. Other lines have also been recently replenish ed in of to meet the needs of our patrons and friends. We if e you to call at our store. It will be a pleasure to show you througfur large stock. CLOTHES