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.itt* j? FHE- NflTION?.L BANK OF AUGUSTA L. C. HATNB, Pre?'t. F. Q.FOBD, Cashier. Capital, ?250,000. * I Surplus and i <fc 1 OJT Qf|fl I Undivided Froflts \ y I ? JjUUU i Facilities o? our nuignlflcent Ne? Wilt |con.talnl?g 410 i-?fety-I,ook Bosos. Differ lent Sizes nre <-'fT?red to our patrons and I tho pu bile at 93.00 to $ 10.00 per annum. THE PLANTERS LOAN AND SAVINGS AUHTJSTA, GA. Paji Interest on Deposits. Accounts Solicited. |L. C. Hayne, ^President. Chas, C. Howard, Cashier. __~_J VOL XX VIII EDGEFIELD, S. C.. WEDNESDAY. MAY 27. 1903 NO 22. A CRITICISM I wish I were ? Se.-noe, or an Ethics, or a Plan, Or anything Instead of just an ordinary man. fi I were bot a Doctrine, mine would bo a gayer lot, Or I should be delighted were I just a Higher Thought For thon the' mou of millions would be banding out the checks To aid inlaying nie from all the hindrances ' .* that ves. .ers I wish I wore a System, or a Policy, or j. Chair, For some o o would endow me, and my prospects would be fair; IL>I could be an lssuo, or a Theory, I ? .?(* know The money to support mo would immediate ly flow; Or, were I not a common man, but sorao . thlnglike a Fund, I know by all tho plutocrats I should not then bo shunned. .Kl 2i> 5 v. 5 I I ??_:_ 1 'I LIFE'S wm Story of ? The following story was related to Imo. by a Russian gentleman, at whoso house I-..spent a few weeks last sum? merv He had been in tho employ of ?hia^ government f*"*?*' ???n?Q years as an Inspector of prisons, anti it was on the occasion of ene of his official vis E its to the famous convict establish ment at Tobolsk that he heard the story from the lips of an old man, who had' spent upward of 40 years in pris on. Substantially it ran as follows: ' '''Many years ago-how many, I .v..cannot tell you, sir-I was living on the . outskirts of tho thriving little vmMrz JSSJl of Velna, in .Russian Poland. I was a blacksmith by trade, and my forge sto?u at the angl- of two cross roads, about a mile from thc centre of the town. Adjoining it was my cot? tage, the neatest and prettiest little homestead In all that countryside. Many there were who envied rae my lot, and, indeed, it was an enviable one, for few prospered as I did, and none could boast a happier home. "I had been married two years when my wife gave birth to a boy-a faithful copy of his mother-who, as time went on. grew a sturdy, bright, \ "r^Byed little fellow, the darling of our \ * hearts' and the brightest jewel in our crown of happiness. What; he was to me no words can tell. I know only that.-he bocame the very' light of my life, and when some childish ailment checked for a brief space his merry prattle I was like to go mad with grief and fear-so bitter was the thought, that some_ dav,_neriiaj^-fca Tvv. One day I was at work when I heard a troop of cavalry approaching -" the" forge at full gallop. Laying aside m-y hammer 1 went over to the half d?or to.catch a'glimpso of them as they rode by. The leading files had already, passed when a piercing shriek rent the air and. froze the very mar row in my bones-my heart stood still. Oh, God! can I ever forget the fearful sight' that met my gaze. I see lt now, as plainly as on that day my darling, my heart's idol, and his angel mother, side by side on the dusty road, trampled to death by those cruel hoofs. With a terrible : cry-a cry such as only a man infu riated to the pitch of madness, can utter-I; snatched UR my hammer, and whirling lt around my head, rushed among thc soldiers, now dismounted >". . and gathered about the prostrate and I . mangled forms of my darlings. A .' * panic .seized them and they struggled-: furiously to get beyond the reach of my wild blows. One lhere was, how ever, that essayed to close with me and wrest the hammer from my grasp', biit ?-hurled him to the- ground and struck him a blo^, that,* had It fallen on his. head,, would have killed ' - "him outright: Happily for him and for my .future peace of mind, his up raised arm saved him; and before I could strike again one v of his com . - rades deajt me 8 blow that stretched me "beside him, bleeding and sense less. When I recovered conscious ness I found myself lying on the floor of a cell in the F**ison of Velna. "Oh, the misery of that awakening! ... How shall I describe it to you, sir? How describe the awful sense of des olation that crept over me with the first dawning of consciousness, and so laid hold of me that I prayed, and prayed with all my might, to xlie? How describe the tortures I suffered when the remembrance of all that had happened, at the forge that day came back to me with redoubled force, and, flooding my soul with anguish, created In me a fierce thirst for revenge-but I cannot, I cannot. To realize my misery you- must suffer as I suffered, love as I Joved-T-and that I pray you never will. " But let me continue my story. The daylight had faded in my cell, when two soldiers, bringing with . them food- and drink, communicated to me'the intelligence that I was to ... be tried on the morrow for attempt ing ta -kill one of His Majesty's guards. I paid little heed to what they said-so wrapped was I In the bitterness .of my. thoughts-and my ' Indifference angered them. "He is a sullen dog." said one of them, and,, spurning me with his foot, passed a cruel jest that sent the hot blood surging to my head. Had I not been bound I would have fallen upon him -and- torn him to pieces, but they had . chained me to a ring in the wall, and . strain as I would. I could not reach him. My fruitless struggles . but served to amuse them, and they Jeered at me and taunted, me with tho impo tency of my rage, and so goaded me ?with the brutality of their jests that I was like to-go mad. When at length, they had satisfied themselves with the cruel sport they left me left me to the tortures o' a sleepless -night, of a night filled with memories ...of my dear ones and of the cruel trag edy that had robbed me of them; and countless times through those long hours of^darkness did I see them, side .by" side on that dusty road, with their ' blood-stained faces turned toward me as If in mute appeal to avenge their deaths. "With the dawning of the morning those visions faded and I sank into a OF DESTINY. If I were one ot these things, why, tho outlook would be great: They'd oven vote1 me atone/ from the taxes of tho State. The good financial fairies with their won .. det-working wands Would soothe me with a shower of their currency and bonds. If I tfere something Psychic, or a Social Settlement, I'd never need to worry over coal or clothes or rent. I wish I wore a Microbe, a Bacillus, or a Germ A microscopic wriggler-just a shy, elusivo worm For then they'd spend th<?.'r million", and in earnestness would strive To trace me out and feed me, and to help me keep alive. I wl?h I were a Science, or an Ethics, or a Plan, Or anything instead of just an ordinary X man! -VV. D. Nesbit, In Chicago Tribune. 9 SHADOWS. Siberian Exile. -JUJUiiUMliUUiMiM^ heavy slumber, which, lasted until tho guards appointod to take me "to the place of trial aroused me. "Heavily manacled, I was marched through the streets lo the court, and as I passed through the crowd gath ered around its doors mtny were tne words of pity for me I heard on every side, and many the prayers that God might comfort- me and have me in His keeping. . "I will pass OVer the scenes in court-thc testimony of .the soldiers, the hisses of the people when the judge condemned me to a life of penal servitude in the Siberian mines, and their eagerness to catch a nearer glimpse of mo when I passed out on livy way back to prison. The recital v. ould but wea"y you. The next day I began by long and toilsome journey to Siberia. "With many other exiles ? was marched through tho town and out into the country by the road th;at led past my forge. Long before wo came in sight of it, I was straining my eyes to catch a glimpse of the little home stead I loved so -well; but When at length lt came in view another sight enchained my attention and stilled in a moment the eager throbbing of my heart. Ah! What a sight was that! Coming towr.rd us, round a bend in the road, was a tumbril, beavily draped with black, and, following it, a long procession of men and -om en, many of them weeping bitted. A .niifit^MuTred .mv_Xi-??in^u?" -~?o??u. --J the tumbril until to my tear-dimmed eye it seemed as a great black cloud that wrapped the whole countryside in its sorrowful folds. On me it cast its darkest shadow, and I cried to the guards to kill me and lay me beside my dear ones, for there was net on God's fair earth one moro desolate than I. But they only cursed me for a madman and lashed mo with their whips to urge me forward. , "Tho tumbril was almost abreast of us when the mourners recognized me, and a great cry of compassion went up from all, for they knew how it had been with rac, and their hearts were sore to see me treated thus in the presence of my dead; and moved by a common impuse, they broke in upon our ranks, and, closing round mc, boro me, despite the frantic strivings of the guard, to the tumbril's side. One passionate kiss on the shell that hid my'darling from my eyes, one fierce ; cry. of vengeanco on the authors of my misery-and I knew no more. "When I came to myself I was ly ing at the bottom of the wagon in which the guards carried their food and equipment. The tumbril and mourners, the familiar countryside all .-had .gone-and naught save thc . toiling band of human misery, the poor Siberian exiles, was in view. "I* will not dwell on the details of ? that terrible journey. Suificc it to .say that we reached Tdbolsk, after months of incredible suffering and privation, a smaller band by many than when we left Velna. Death had been merciful to the weak, and.left only the strong to suffer. And terr? bl?, indeed, -were our sufferings dur ing the first years of imprisonment, Tor a cruel man govern "d. us, anj rxled us with a rod of iron. . -, " "One day, vi?le we were at work, a fellow prisoner told me that a new warden had arrived at the prison, and would be on duty for the first time that night. I paid but little attention to what he said, and when night fell* and I was locked in my cell I had for gotten all about it. It was the night warder's duty to visit the cells every hour; commencing at 10 o'clock.- On that particular night I was more than usually restless. It was the'anniver sary of that fatal day at Velna, and I paced my cell with ever quickening steps as I recalled, one by ono, the events of that terrible time. The prison clock struck 10, and I paused a moment to- listen "for me familiar grating of the bolts ?t the end .pf the corridor as -the warder entered to make his usual round. But every- ' thing was silent. I waited a few mo ments, and then resumed my walk. The quarter struck, and^ still no war der came. Then I recalled what my fellow-prisoner had told me, and I saw how it -was. The man was new to his duties, and, like enough would not como at all.. But even as* the thought passed fhrpugh my mind I heard the bolts grating in their soc kets, and, a few moments later, some one stumbled lip tho steps that led from the corridor'to my cell and feil heavily against the dcor. With an oath he recoverd himself, and, unlock ing the door, Hung it wide open. "The dim light prevented mc at first from seeing his face, but I knew from his he?vy breathing and indistinct speech that he had been drinking. When, af ter. a slight pause> ho raiseU the lantern and the light fell on. his soddened features, I started back with a cry of surprise, for I recognized in him the soldier who, with a compan ion, had visited me in Velna prison, and had mocked at me and insulted the memory, of my dear cmos. Some thing'in my "'look alarmed him, and he I made as though he would draw his sword, but I rushed lipon him like a wild beast loosed from its cage, and, grappling with him, forced him I}ack'? wards down the steps. He raged and swore at me, and struck me with the heavy keys which he held in his hand until the blood Streamed down my face and nigh blinded me; but I clung the more tightly to uira, and, putting my foot behind him, tripped him and threw him heavily to tho ground. His head struck the stone floor with stun ning force, and he resisted no longer. With a glad cry I sprung to my feet, and, snatching the sword i-om his side, fell back a pace that I might give greater force t) my blow. Nerv ing myself with the thought of all ? had suffered in thc past, I was about to strike when ? felt th? light touch ol a hand on my arm. "Great God! What did I see! Stand ing besido me, in a radiance of light that seemed in a moment to melt the black shadows enveloping my heart, was my darling boy, with a look ol mingled reproach and compassion on his pure young face that blotted from my mini all further thought ol evil. With a cry of shame I tfirew the. murderous weapon from, my hand and falling on my knees,, wept bitter tears of sorrow, and thanked the good God who had sent him to save me from the commission of that hateful deed. Than a blessed cairn, such as ) had never known before, fell upon my spirit, ar.d I raised my eyes to the bright figure above me. A heavenly smile lit up his angelic face, as if iE approval of the change his presence had wrought in me-and he was gone. Rising up a new man, I went into my cell, and bringing fcrLh a pitcher of water, bathed the temples of the prostrate puard and moistened his lips. Gradually he returned to con sciousness. and when ho was suffi ciently recovered, I handed him his sword, and kneeling before him, begged forgiveness for thc injury 1 bad dono him and the still greater wrong I had meditated against bimi But with muttered threats and curses he spurned me from him, and bidding me enter my cell, locked the door on ni? aud ?oft me. ihc next day I was taken before the governor and condemned to be Imputed. . "As soon as the sentence had been pronounced I was taken to thc prison courtyard and fastened by the wristd to an Iron post. Then two stalwart warders, with knouts in their hands, bared my shoulders and commenced to lash mo. "What I suffered as tho cruel thongs descended cn my flesh and lapped around my quivering body no words can ?xpre?s. I 'shrieked with tho agony and called on them in mercy to kill me outright. But they lashed mo the more, and I was at the point touch on my arm that had already spared me a worse punishment, and, looking up, beheld my boy beside me. "Aa his tender, compassionate eye3 met mine the pain of the scourging ceased, and I felt not the blows they rained down on my bjeeding shoul ders. Lifting his hand, he directed my attention to a spot some few yards ahead-and there I beheld a strange/ sight. "Bcund to an iron pillar, with his. face turned from us, was another prisoner, his two shoulders bared and livid from the blows that had already been showered upon them. As 1 gazed cn the cruel sight the prison walls melted before my eyes and I be held, as in a vision, the whole world spread out before me. And I say myriads of people-men, women and children of all sorts and conditions flocking from every point toward the pillar where the poor prisoner was tied. And as they drew nearer I saw that all-even the children-bare scourges in their hands, with which, as they passed the pillar, they smote with reluctance, as if urged on by those behind. Others, and they were numberless, smote with all- their might and with malice inconceivable, while others again turned and smote more fiercely than before. One there was who riveted my attention-by. tho eagerness with which he pressed on to the piilar, and by the rove !ng ex pression of his countenance. Never had I seen so much malice and hatred delivered with one blow as when he struck thoso now fleshless bones. I .cried aloud with horror at thc sight and." strained to burst my bands, that 1" might, tear him to pieces, so infuri ated was I by his brutality. And in that moment both he and the victim, of his malice turned and looked at me and my heart sank within me. "In that raging brute whom I had cursed abd hungered to tear I beheld none other than myself, and in his victim-the man of sorrows-the mas ter of all. "Then tho vision faded and I found myself lying on a bed in the prison hospital. I had been unconscious, they told mc, for many hours-so se vere, had been the punishment I had suffered at the hands of the warders. "When I was well enough I re turned to my work, and thenceforth my life was a happier one. The one short glance of- divine forgiveness which the master had deigned to cast on me at the pillar changed my whole lifo, and gave me new hopes of a bet . ter one hereafter-of a glad reunion with those I had loved long since lost a while "For many years I have waited for that happy day of emancipation, and I know now that it cannot be far off nay, that it is very near. Often, of late, I have heard fragments of the most beautiful music that ever rav ished tho ear of man, and today my cell has been filled with its glorious melodics. Hark! There, again! Do you not hear it-louder and more joy ous? And see-the light! The light of heaven! How it thrills and lifts me up. And my darlings! They beckon me with outstretched anno at last! At last!" Here the poor prisoner stopped short, and. staggering forward a pace or two, f??l to the ground-dead. The happy day of his emancipation had dawned at last and life's long shadow broke in cloudless love. Philadelphia Record. The navy which gives England thi supremacy of the seas costs $l5tj,000.< OOO a year, or a nillo moro than ?u United States pays ft yenr in tensions I CHIME IN Vf 09999999.99999999999999990 woman's honor cnn be safe In Macedonia, or else dil Europe is lu n conspir acy to malign the T?rk. Tortura Iii specially hid eous forms is daily In flicted upon mothers and maids wJhose hames and wrongs, vouched for tty witnesses, have been widely printed." | The men are overpowered by nuinUersv burned or impaled or mutilated. Commenting editorially upon all j these things, The Daily News (Lon tloii) s?iys: jj "The Turk in Macedonia works in thc minor key. tie pillages, robs, r?o lates and perpetrates the brutish tor tures which he, alone .among European BRIGANDS" OF COLONEL Y A N E O F F, S'oted as u leader of "irregular" revolu tionary bauds In Macedonia. peoples, has handed down from Ihe Middle. Ages, and from remoter days of barbarism. His officials and sol j dlcry are not paid, and so they quarter themselves on the population. Rein forcing thc nets of "the Turks are Al banian troops and brigands;, who arc to thc Macedonians what the Kurds are to the Armenians. Albanian law lessness bas..developed of late j'enrs; mux; iimer/fr, AI ut) frnfasa r__. ^1,1 . .. ?, tim and the avenger on the Christian*! races of the Inveterate misrule of the predominant partner in this ill-assorted empire. Tho reports liofore us show that neither life, nor women's honor, nor private property is respected in Macedonia, and that thc nominal tol eration accorded to Christians disap pears when thc military are given their head. TI1I.5 is the situation." A most gloomy view of the situation is taken by the Ueichswe.hr (Vienna), which predicts tho failure of thc re form mensures undertaken by Austria and Russia. This view is shared by other observers, who insist that" the Powers are concerned not so much about reforming Macedonia as about tho political consequences of that un dertaking. Thc Power* aro mutually suspicious. Thus the Sviet (Odessa) says Italy is preparing to make a de scent upon Tripoli the moment a con flict breaks out between the Balkan Slav States and Turkey. Tho Pop?lo Romano says Italy has nothing, in par ticular to clo with the Macedonian question: "As long as thc Powers concerned with Macedonia remain within tho lim its prescribed ?by the Berlin treaty, public opinion In Italy has hot the slightest reason for anxiety. Even a repetition of the Bulgarian atrocities and a revolutionary movement In Macedonia need involve no risk lo Italy's foreign policy. This ls*due to the oft-mentioned agreement between Austria-Hungary and Italy willi ref erence to Albania-that is, the portion Of the Balkan peninsula with which Italy's commercial and political rela tions are prineipnlry*COncerned." Macedonia Avili succeed in throwing off the Turkish yoke, according to a well-informed but anonymous writer inilic Neue tfrelc Press? (Vienna). Hfttxr Preitt?enl ol'-r.mzll. Dr. Francisco de Paulo Rodrigues Alves is the new President of the United States of Brazil. President Alves belongs to the Republican party, .which i's also described as the "Con servative" party. He has held many public positions, and is one of the ablest men In Brazil. Dr. Brnmlno, whit was elected vice President, has recently died. President Alves holds that it ls abso lutely necessary tb pay all tlic repub lic's obligations In gold. His chief ef fort will be to raise the value of the paper currency. Ile" docs not adv?cale a partisan modification of th? constltu j . ? ? -. ' m UK. FBA2TOI8CO i'. BODBIOUEZ ALVK8. (Tho New President of Brazil.)_' tion, as he believes it now embodies thf most advanced principles of deinoc racy. Striking an average of thc whok Orange River colony, lund value? havf doubled tslaca the wad . FOLDING WORK m BENCH An Unsightly Piece of Furnltnre Tuckort Awny In a Closet. t'An Exceedingly clever arrangement has been recently devised by which a man vrho wants a work bellell In the Jose can have bis wish supplied with out the necessity of being constantly confronted with what is necessarily a somewhat homely piece of furniture. t? th?se days of general manual train ing nearly every man and many women have a good knowledge of the use of t?pls, and it is iiot.au uncommon tkijrjg lo find an excellent and complete set of tools in tlic possession of gentlemen who got more or lees pleasure in per forming various minot' matters around the house In the way of construction and repair. It is not every mau who has the space nt his disposal .to give up lo ri work bench, and Oils'Is quite ns essential as. the tools', and In re THE BALKANS. \ Vi , .1? ... B?1?S SAllAFOi'V. Pronounced "the .most notorious" of Macedonian leaders. ?Sa ' spouse, to Ole demand of gentleman carpenters various devices have been worked out for their convenience. At tractive wall cabinets To hold the tools conveniently have bren in ibo market for? some little time, hut the latest thing in this line is a combination cab inet and worlc^ beneb, which ls shown in .|he. accompanying cuts. This eon of a wardrobe or closet when'closed. Two of thc skies are doors, and when one ia opened all thc topi? in more general demand are con '\?:ly displayed thereon. When thc door ls opened it permits the "WORK BENCH AND TOOL CABINET. bench.to be dropped into position for uso, the whol - making a very compact and convenu nt arrangement. The beuc'i ls made of hard wood, is three feet long and has a strong parallel jawed vise. It ls provided with a hench stop and has a series of holes for similar stops running tho entire length. This enables work (o be held securely at both ends. There is a sliding guide on each side of thc bench which supports work when necessary. A Politl'a' Ditrk Horro. According to the political oracles, Alton B. Parker, chief Judge of tho New York Court ol' Appeals, stands a chalice of being tho next Democratic JUDftK ALTON B. PARKE 1?. candidate for the Presidency of tho United States. Ile was born on his father's farm at Cortland, N, Y.. on .May 14, ISH2. Jib education was begun in thc Cort Ia nd Academy, and from there he wont tc thc Cortland Normal School. His de sire to go to college was ?ever fulfilled, for al sixteen ho gave up his own schooling "to instruct the tender mind.'' After his experience as a teacher be entered the law ellice of Scliooiimnkei & Hardenbergh. In and 1S83 Parker was elected Surrogate by the Democrats of Ulster County. In ISSI he was a delegate to the convention nt Chicago which nominated Crover Cleveland for Presi dent. During the campaign Theodore lt. Westbrook of the Supreme Court died and Governor Hill appointed Mr, Parker lo lill his place. In June, 1880 he was designated by Governor Hill lc sit U? the suwwl division of the Court ol' Appen'-? ACTIONS AND WORDS Hero's a sentiment worthy to keep th yoor mind As vou travel through lifo, for it's true yoa will find, That you're not so much valued by what you may sny, As by what you may do in a prnctlca> way; For unless you perform what you say you can do, Grave doubts will nriso that you're honest and true. Though your volco be as sweet a3 the song of tue birds. Remember, that actions speak louder than words. Nor would I discourage tho message that cheers, Or tho prayers, or the blessing of sympa th"'s .-nrs; Th*?., nrn Uni vs In order, thoy help In their w a/ To hnston the dawn of millennial clay. But a little n P.-H gold sandwiched in with your prayers Would banish more tears and lighten more cares. Though j our volco bo as sweet as the song of the birds, Remember, tbat actions spoak louder than words. -Barn's Horn, HUMOROUS. Miss Angora-I have gold filling rn my teeth now. Miss Maltese-You have? Miss Angora-Yes; I just ate the gold fish. Blobbs-He doesn't know enough to come in out of thc rain. Slobbs Well, he knows enough to always have a borrowed umbrella. Sillicus-Women always go to ex tremes. Cynicus-Thats right. If they are not in the height of fashion they are in the depths of despair. Visitor-So you can count up to eight, eh, .Johnny? Don't you know what conics after eight? Johnny Yes, sir; nursie to put rae to bcd! Miss Ann Toque-But you don't think marriage ls alway? a game of chance? Jack Young-No, indeed; some people have no chance at all. Mrs. Muggins-Did sne marry we'.)? Mrs. Buggins-Yes, indeed. I under stand that she has considerable dif ficulty in spending all her alimony. Wigg-So she finally landed him, oh? How did she do it? Wagg-She told him her father had forbidden her ,to '?00 him again, and the rest was easy. Mrs. Z.-Listen, George-the baby Is saying 'Oo-goo-ja-bo-oo-go! ' What does it remind- you of?" Mr. Z. "H'm! reminds me of a brakeman calling out stations." Tough Youth-Say, I want to buy some handkerchiefs fer a young lady. Clerk-Plain? Tough Youth-Naw, she ain't plain; an' I kin lick the man that says she .;s. "Was it a 'farewell tour?' asked the ^2se_frtend1_^h^ , been greeted with over-ripe vegetabls; "I never fared worse in my life." "Why do Ketchem & Co. stick the stamps on their letters upside down? They must be crazy." "Quite the op posite. They wish to give people the idea they are doing a rushing busi ness." "But," protested the plain citizen, "don't you consider honesty a good thing?" "Sure!" replied the politi ,cian. "But it's like all good things; you've got to make some money be fore you can aiTord it." Host (in a low voice to his wife) I have a fearful headache. Do get rid of our guests as soon as ever you can. Hostess-Well, I cannot put them out. Host-No, my dear, but you can play the piano. "What in the world are you doing?" asked Mr. Horsefly. "Why, I am teach ing my brood how to diet on gasoline," responded Mrs. Horsefly; "if they ex pect to exist they must depend on the automobile for a living." "I would like to find out how many idle men there are 'J. town." "Well, just start some laborers to digging a sewer." "But they won't be idlo." '"No; but every idle man in town will stand around and watch them." "Oh, excuse me for stepping on your feet," stammered the blushing young maiden. "Certainly!" respond ed the gallant young man; "I only wish I had as many feet as a centi pede, and that you would step on them all." Mr. Brisk-I am going to marry your daughter, and I called to ask a i few questions about her financial ; prospects. How do you stand? Mr. Bulky-How do I stand? On two good feet, sir-two good feet! Try one (zip!) Try the other-(zip!) How dc you like 'era, sir? Gardening for an Invalid, Several years ago I found myself too much of an invalid to be out in the garden sowing seeds and with no one at my service who, in my opinion, could be trusted to do it for. A sum mer without flowers was too dreary a prospect to bo contemplated. I se cured a half dozen wooden boxes about the size of common soap boxes hand had them sawed so that they were each four inches deep. These boxes were so small that when filled with soil they could be easily lifted about. I had the boxes filled with soil from the garden; and now imagine my comfort as I sat at a table sowing my ' seeds! There wore no cramped limbs and aching back, as was usually the case when I had sowed my seeds in the seed bed. I had that year as fine a ( 'splay of annua-'s as I ever had when thc seeds were sown in the gar den, in spite O? th J fact that the weather did not get.warm enough for it to bc prudent for an invalid to sit j on the ground to transplant them until j between June 9 and C.-Country Liff j in America. Everybody Satisfied. ! "Diplomacy is a curious game," j said one salesman. "It is." answered the other; "it is one in which the most satisfactory re sults are achieved when both sides j can go home and claim a victory." i Washington Star. Wanted to Frighten His Wife. Francois Guiquol of Rouen, Fiance, i intending to give his wile a fright, j pretendo! to hang himself. Unfortu i natcly. the rope slipped from under 1 his at*nm. and he swung hy the neck. . He was cut down inst in timo to save . his Ufo. Wagons. Large Shipments of the best makes of wagons and buggies just recd vd. Our stock of furniture, housefurnishings Is com *?' . ~-ige stock COFFINS and CASKETS always on hand. All calls for our Hearse promptly responded to. All goods sold on a small margin of profit. Call to seo mo, I will save you money. G. P. COBB, Johnston, S. C. r -1 -r ! . J The Artist's Favorite Unsurpassed. In touch, tone, workmanship and dura bility. Sold on Terms of Easy Payment. Factory and Warero oms, Cincinnati, Ohio. J. A. HOLLAND, Traveling Agent for South Carolina-, /NIMETy-SIX, s. e. & p. MANUFACTUREES OF AND DEALERS IN Cement, Plaster, Hair, Fire Brick, Fire Clay, Ready Roofing and Other Material. Write Us For Prices. Corner Reynolds and Washington Streets, AUGUSTA, = = GEORGIA. BEACON Fl ELD'S EYEGLASS. British Statesman's Dexterous Use of This Little Article. Few accessories of personal attiro have played a more interesting part in parliamentary life than thc simple eye glass. The greatest conjurer in the use of this little article the historic legisla tive Chamber ever contained was the late Lord Beaconsfield, says the Pall Mall Gazette. It has often been said of him that he was a splendid actor. He certain ly contrived a sort of dumb show with his eyeglass to create striking theatrical effects, and the manner in. which he would manage, when- it suit ed him, to lose the thing in thc folds of his clothing, so that he c I paus? in his speech wi 'e fumbling Jor the missing article-a momentary respite which gave him time to think-was a frequent subject of mirth in the smok ing rooms. One incident of the kind will never be forgotten by those who witnessed lt. Mr. Disraeli, then Prime Minister, was speaking with great solemnity on a question of foreign policy. . He had been several times noisely interrupted by a somewhat boisterous Scotch rep resentative, who threw out ironical cheers without any relevant applica tion. At tho third or fourth c.ttempt the great Minister stopped abruptly in the middle of a sentence. There was dead silence in tho crowded house as members watched rho statesman slow ly feel for his eyeglass, mechanically adjust it to his eye. and then, turning to the direction of the interruption give thc Highland gentleman one ex pressive look. Having satisfied him self of the "identity of the offender, an expression came over the Fnme Min ister's face which seemed to say: "Oh. it's you, is it? Poor fellow, you don't know better!" The eyeglass dropped with a clink against the watch chain and thc speaker resumed his remarks at the very point of the broken sen tence. This honorable member had good reason to remember the episode throughout his Parliamentary career. His colleagues never allowed him to forget it. When Disraeli could find his eye glass in a hurry and fit it ^promptly It was a sure sign that he was annoy ed. CLEANING PIANO KEYS. Piano keys that have become discol 3rcd cover with a rather thick paste made of lemon juice and prepared :halk or whiting. Be careful not to let it get between the keys. Leave a few. minutes, then wash off with a soft :loth, wrung out of warm waler. Pol ish with the tiniest drop of sweet-oil, ind then rub with Bott duster till ivery traes of oil ls removed, R'.-garded as a Delicacy. The general livng in Russia, except that of thc muzhik, is described by Mr. Carry, in "Ivan At Homo." as r haps a bit too unsubstantial for West ern ideas, but on tho whole fairly pet able. The muzhik's liking for grease in his food is carried to tho extreme. I rcmombcr, writs Mr. Barry, once calling thc attention of one of the footmen to the candle, which was not properly fixed into tho candlestick. He ?r?ry simply righted thc matter by tak ing the candle.out, putting it into his mouth and biting half an inch off, which he 'swallowed ann ceemed to enjoy. ' '^To show that the muzhiks are not particular as to what they drink, 1 must mention the case of a man who was nearly' ruined by their taste for .petroleum. He had made a eontiaot to light a suburban village arith petroleum. One 'morning he came to the director ot the- department with a very long face, and announced thar he must give up his contract and forfeit tbe money paid! " , "Why do you want to give up your contract? I thought the price of pe troleu was going down," said the director. "Yes, so it is," responded Ivan. "It is not the price that frightens me." "Then what is the matter?" asked the director. "Why, you see, excellency, as fast as I put the petroleum into the lamps the pigs of muzhiks como and drink it" .-. ".". $ SOLDIER SAVED A SAILOR. During one of the terrible storms, carly in 1902 a smack was seen to be in distress outside of Ramsgate. The vessel was making for the harbor, but, missing the entrance, was carried to ward the pier, where she would be smashed to pieces if she struck, says a writer in an English magazine. Rath er than face this risk the crew took to the small boat, which bobbed about on the. raging sea. drifting helplessly. Ropes were thrown to thc men, and two of thom were hauled ashore. The skipper, however, lost his grip and fell - - back into the waves. He would cer tainly have been drowned but for the pluck and presence of mind of Lance Corporal Taylor, of the Royal Engin eers, who dived after him. The unfor tunate captain, hampered by his heavy sea-toggery and chilled with cold, was powerless to help himself, but Taylor succeeded in seizing him and in keep ing him affoat until both were drawn up by a life buoy fastened to a rope. The onlookers cheered the brave sol dier, whose heroic deed had saved the skipper, applauding none the less hear tily, for that Taylor was a native of Ramsgate.