University of South Carolina Libraries
THE NATIONAL BANK OF AUGUSTA L. C. HAYNS, IWt F. G. FORD, Cashier. J Capita!, $250,000? Surplus and Undivided Profits Facilities of our mapnlflcont Now Yanlt ontalulng 410 t-afety-Lock Hosea. Differ font Sizes are offered to our patrons and the public at 93.00 to $10.00j>er annum. i $125,00 VOL. LXVII?. THE PLANTERS SAVINGS BANK, AUUUSTAj 61, Pays Interest on Deposits. Accounts Solicited. L. C. Ha jue, President. Chas, C. Howard, Cashier. EDGEFIELD. S. C.. WEDNESDAY. MAKCH ll. 1903. NO ll. MAN AND H I When a fellow's kin? of wobWy and uncer tain on his feet, And bas to work like sixty for to get both tnds to tri?e: When bo's not of tenon account and hos to tako what hu can get The poople dou'i wm'j liockin' to be friends u -of his, you bet ! Thoy don't come savin' "Old chap, I'm tho only friend you've got ! " And " It.-ruembiT tbat we'ro brothers," and that kind of totnur.yrot Ho, iadbed ! And they don't got jealous over you when friends aro what yon need. If a fellow's kind of Jonesome and would like u friend or two Just to come aronui and jolly bim when *" things are iookia' blue; If the shin that ho's wearin' ls the only one he's got, And he ncvor c-howcd the public that ho's , t , ? really on tho spot, $ THE PROFESS? "Prof. McVint regrets that, owing to his absence from town, his lecture on 'The Aspirate in Greek' is unavoidably postponed." - v This was the-notice that greeted, th: crowd of students as they surged in one mass to class room No. 20 on the morning of June 5, some two or three years ago. "Hello! what's the meaning of this?" said Pennington. "The old fellow was here as late at 10 o'clock last night, for I was with him at the science pic nic yesterday, and it was after 10 by the time we got back. He's gone off mighty quick!" "Perhaps he hadn't time to get his lecture ready," suggested one. "More likely his mother 's dead," said another* "Ten to one he's in love, and gone off to pop the question," ?dded a third. At this there was a general laugh, in < which you would have joined if you had known the professor. Tall, lean and angular, with a decided stoop, and eyes that were screwed up almost to vanishing point, he was hardly the : personage with whom to associate any idea of the tendar passion. His age, i too, was against him, though no one 1 knew exactly what that age was. If : you saw him walking home from col- ? lege along the esplanade you put him down at 50, but when you saw his face ? aglow with enthusiasm as he lectured 1 on the beauties cf the Greek particles you changed your mind and said he might be 30. i Anyhow, he was not popular. His : dry Scotch humer was net appreciated i -it very often bit too deeply into the ? feelings of his. victim to be pleasant, ; and all who came beneath the lash of his tongue bore him no small grudge : for what he made them suffer. Then ! he lived absolutely apart from college life, not oven mixing with the other members of the staff. Consequently he knew little of what was passing around 1 him, and was given credit for knowing i -atm l-?r . --_._] He had never been known to miss a lecture; even when one morning he found on his arrival at college that his class roora had been burned out in .I -the night he calmly remarked to the - crowd of students near the door. "I ? think, ladies and gentlemen, with your ? permission, we will deliver our lecture ] in the corridor." No wonder, therefore, < that there was no small stir when this j historic notice stared the world un- ? blushingly in the face. ] "I wonder what it can be," said Eva < Miller to her friend. Jemima Bates, as \ they turned slowly from the class room ; door and walked away down the cor- ] ridor. "Poor man, I am afraid there is' < something wrong; acd he has no one j to look after him or dc things for him. < It seems a very lonely life." ( ** "Oh, he is perfectly happy in his i work," replied Jemima; "he doesn't 5 want any one to look after him." Jem- "1 ima judged all men (and women) by j her own feelings, which is a danger- j ous thing to do. ] "I don't know," said her companion < doubtfully. "However, it's no concern ( of'mine, so I'm off to the tennis field ? instead." ' .Had she only known that it was a 1 very great concern of hers she would ] have given- the matter a little more 1 thought j The previous day, as young Penning ton had said, had been the science pic- 1 nie. Much to the surprise of everybody, < th,e professor finally accepted his invit- < atlbri-though he wrote first of all de clining. A perusal of the list of in- ? vited "arts" was the cause of his ] change of mind. The fact was Prof. McVint was in love-it had taken some : time to convince him of the fact, and 1 he had argued it out pro and con with himself in every imaginable way. But 1 from the conclusion he could not es- 1 cape; whatever his premises, the de- : duction invariably came out: '"Hiere- \ fore, I love her." He began to notice it first in this way: Into h: ; mind as he was busy in ] the preparation of his lectures, there ? would creep the surreptitious thought, ? "What will she think of this? How ] will she take that?" Then he found 1 himself thanking Providence that by 1 ita. kindly ordering the lady students ? sat in the front row during lectures, ? and, therefore, more within range of ? his somewhat limited vision. The next ; thing that he was conscious of was that ? he was hunting high and low in hi3 1 room for a pair of glasses far stronger than those he generally used and not ? at all necessary for mere reading pur- 1 poses. Two or three times he lost his place in his notes and stood confused and put to shame before the class, a 1 thing that had never happened before in all his experience. Finally he came to the conclusion that the tie Which ? ' he had been wearing when the senior ? student was a freshman, and which he ; had worn ever since, was a little the < worse for wear and must be replaced, and then what he had long suspected broke fully on his mind. Such a whole- : .sale revolution could mean but one ; thing. Thus it came to pass that on notic ing the name of Eva Miller among * . those invited to the picnic the profes .sor-suddenly changed his mind. He was 1 a man of few words and prompt deeds. ' 1 He Would try his luck that very day. To describe his feelings during the :drivc to the sccno cf action would be ? impossible. Strangely out of place in the middle of the chattering crowd, dis- 1 ^ tasting his own powers and yet so IS FRIENDS. They don't come crowdin' round him, nor stick out their hands and say: "We'ro your friends, old man, wo lovo you; we've the same blood, anyway ! " No, indeed ! But they watch to give tho boot to you when friends are what you need. When things have got to comln' as a fellow wants 'em to, When his pockets aro all bulgin' and his clo's are fino and new, When he stops out proud and lordly and ain't got a thing to fear, There's a sudden chango comes over folks that used to wink and sneer. They come runuin' then to tell you that they're all your friends, and say That they've always been dead anxious for to help you out some way Yes, indeed ! Frionds are always mighty plentiful when friends ain't what you need. W'S REVENGE. % bold as to amaze himself, the profes sor sat alone and neglected in a corner of the brake. The kindness of heaven, however, aided a little by *.he cunning of man had placed the object of his ad oration almost opposite him. So, while he gazed blankly into space, and was supposed by any one who gave him a passing thought to be elaborating a new treatise on "The Particles," he could all the time feast his eye unob served on the vision of beauty not two yards away. Lunch eaten, the whole party broke up and scattered in all directions, as parties will do till the end of time. Now was his opportunity; he would follow the group containing his idol at a little distance, and surely he would get a chance of speaking with her alone before long.-Keeping the group in sigbt and himself out of it, he dawdled and hung about, as is the way of people who are doing their best not to overtake a friend a little way ahead. He walked forward, then back a bit, then on again, then back, then stood stock still for a few moments, pretend ing to use his watch as a compass, and chen, finding that some one had been watching his maneuvers with un feigned interest, bolted straight ahead is if he were shot from a gun. In less than two minutes he was upon the sroup, but, alas! his eyes had played him false again, and she was not there. What did he want with Jemima Bates? Having tried to explain his sudden swoop down on those unprotected fe males, and having dismally failed ?herein, he turned aside, sick at heart, and entered a small plantation of young trees. A narrow footpath led through this, and as he nsared the stile that opened on the fields beyond he saw two figures leaning against it. Another moment showed him Eva Mil ier and young Pennington deep in con versation and oblivious cf ah around. Quietly and unobserved he turned baot, md on reaching bia? rooms that night b.e^ilflJij?JajTillaflylJie^b^d ^SLZO. away by the early train for two or three days. Hence tl .t notice on the class room door. The professor's dream was over; there was but one thing left -evenge, md the professor settied down to plan md scheme how best to obtain it. Pen nington was reading with him for a classical scholarship at Oxford, so the professor saw the way quite clear. In stead of one hour extra in the evening, iie gave his pupil two, and sometimes ;ven more, out of his own valuable Lime. He looked up all his old notes md helps, and lent them to his enemy; ie corrected all his work with especial :-are and went to thc trouble of writ ing out model answers for his pupil to :opy. In short, painstaking and thor ough as Prof. McVint had always been, ie had never taken such pains or used >uch thorough methods with a pupil jefore. Nothing was too much trouble "or him. "At any rate," he used to nurmur to himself, as deep in his icart he nursed his revenge, "if she :an't marry me she shall marry one jf the best students Oxford and this place ever turned out." And when eighteen months later thc lews came that Guy Pennington had Dulled off the top "schol," at Balliol :he professor's revenge was complete, md his satisfaction knew no bounds. "Congratulate you most heartily, Mc Vint," said Dr. Smithers, the physics iemonstrator, "one of youi best suc cesses; won't Miss Miller be glad!" "Oh, nonsense," returned the profes sor, "no credit due to me at all. A fel low with brains like that could get any thing, no matter who prepared him. But"-with a sign-"I'm very glad for lier sake." "Yes," answered the doctor, breezily, "she always was proud of her brother. Good morning, McVint!" and he was ;one like a shot. The professor stood rooted to the ground. Her brother! Her brother! What could it all mean? And then was seen a sight such as never before was witnessed by gods or men. Students on their way to college stopped, amazed. Amiable old gentle men out for their constitutional forgot :heir amiability, and swore horribly as they were rudely hustled and pushed aside; elderly females screamed, "Hi! Stop thief!" butchers' boys whistled md cackled; servant girls craned their heads out of windows; little dogs bark ?d and yelped for pure delight; and all the universe stood still, as Prof. Mc Vint, gathering up the skirts of his ample gown, flew down the length of the esplanade in pursuit of thc unsus pecting Smithers. "Brother, did you say," he burst out, as he cought that worthy by the arm; "did you say he was her brother?" Smithers stared blankly at him for a moment. "Oh, I had forgotten," he said, looking around with an annoyed air. "What a fuss about nothing! Of course I said brother though he is real ly only her step-jrother, Pennington's father died soon after he was born, and his mother subsequently married a Miller. I thought everybody knew that. But what di?j.erence docs it make?" That was a question the professor declined to answer. What difference? Why, this difference-that before 10 o'clock that evening the professor had told Miss Miller of the episode of the stile (among other things), and she had laughingly said: "You poor dear, and so you really ihought Guy and I were lovers. You see. even professors don't known everything. And to think we have wasted eighteen months!" What the professor said in reply, history does not record-Black and White. SCOOPING UP FISHE? Lured by a Headlight, They Are Poured or. Board in a Steady Stream. Thc houseboat Atlantic, built ex pressly for thz purpose of catching fish by drawing them to thc net by means of a light, lies at the foot of Henry street. The Atlantic hails from Norfolk, Va., and was brought up hero to have steam power installed. Her owner and master is Capt. W. E. Cole, the patentee of a unique meth od of applying the long-known fact that a jight attracts fish. Last season the Atlantic operated In the waters near Norfolk, and proved a veritable gold mine to her owner. The novelty of thc plan excited the curiosity of the guests at the hotels at Old Point, and Capt. Cole t^ok them out for the night when they would have a chance to seo the Atlantic's strange apparatus at work. As many as fifteen passengers could be taken on these trips and they paid the running expenses of the boat ' "You see," said Capt. Cole, "the idea of attracting fish by means of a light is nothing new. Stand under a light near thc water and you can see for yourself that the fish flock to lt. They may retreat from the light, but as soon as they reach the" dark they will return again." To draw the unwary fish to his boat Capt. Cole had a powerful headlight, of 4000 candle power placed in the bow near the water. Experience has proved that a headlight similar to those used on locomotives is the best suited for the purpose. The past sum mer Capt. Cole tried a searchlight, but it threw its rays parallel and they lay "like a log on the water." Thc headlight spreads the rays over a wedge-shaped surface. All the while the fishing is going on the Atlantic is driven through the water at the rate of four or five miles an hour. In front of his craft Capt. Cole has another boat which floats the far, or wide end of a funnel-shaped net. The net he used was 18 feet at the mouth, tapering back to about 2 feet, and four feet high. The rear or narrow encl of the net is supported by a stage, which gives a place for the workmen to stand, for the apparatus needs sev eral men to attend it. Behind tho nar row end of the scoop net is a recep tacle into which the fish fall. From there the catch can be dipped up with hand nets and passed to the men on tho rear boat, who sort over the Ash throwing back those under size and storing the rest away. By propelling the boat when the fishing is going on a constant stream of Ash, drawn to the trap by the light, is forced out of the end of the net by their efforts to reach the light and the motion of the vessel. When the inven tion is got to work the Ash pour in like hailstones, and it requires eight or ten men to dispose of them. To facilitate the handling of the catch Capt. Cole has invented a sort of conveyer, similar in principle to the machines used to elevate coal, ore, dirt or other material. Capt. Cole's inven tion is made of net, and lifts the Ash from thc rear end of ths scoop to the boat behind. Ey placing paddlewheels in front of his vessel, which is driven through the water by her engines, the power that drives the conveyer is ob tained. If it is impracticable to use this device, power from the engines can drive the conveyor.-Baltimore Herald. QUAINT AND CURIOUS. Specimens of four. Ave,, six, seven, eight and nine-leaved clovers have been prescted to Queen Alexandra by a Welsh lady. Waler is so scarce in the Japanese island ol" Oshiraa that it is thc custom for a bride to take a large tub of drinking water with her to her new home as a kind of dowry. On the south coast of England there is a holel in which a tropical tempera ture is constantly maintained by means of ?team pipes. The guests are mostly pensioned officials and officers who spent so many years in India that they cannot endure the climate of England. The most crooked railway in the world is ene from Boswell to Friedens, Pa.i the air line distance being five miles. The road doubles on itself four times, and at one point, after making a loop of about five miles, the road comes back to within 300 feet of itself on a grade 50 feet lower. A peasant in the Swiss canton of Zurich, on a recent morning, found in his stable a stork that had apparently heen left behind by his companions on their way to Africa. Thc bird, which seems to feel quite at home with the other animals, goes out tor a walk when the sua shines, reluming to tho stable in the evening. Chinese doctors are very particular about thc distinction between physi cians and surgeons. A Chinese gentle man was struck by an arrow which remained fast in his body. A surgeon was sent for, and broke off the pro truding bit of the arrow, leaving the point embedded. He refused to ex tract it, because the case was clearly one .for a physician, the arrow being inside the body. A Viennese engineer has construct ed a small sailing yacht made entirely of sheels of an Austrian daily paper. Thc yacht is 15 feet long and three feci. wide, is decked ?all over- and is provided with a centreboard. The hull, deck, masts, sails and rudder are all o<" paper. Thc inventor has made many trips on the Wocrth See, in Ca rinthia, and has proved that his paper boat can sail rapidly and safely even when the water is rough and the wind high. Braver. "Do you think that women arc as brave as men?" "Braver," answc?ed Miss Cayenne. "You will observe that, the scientists who keep talking with terror about the bacilli in a kiss are all males."-Wash ington Star. An albatross has been known to fol low a ship for tw>> months without over being seen to alight. THE ?UTOMOBII Kew York surgeons, hampered In th where there is no electric power, 1 obtaining their power from th mobiles. Thc wires are ca mobile in the street VENDETTA TOMBS. Resting Places of Alen Killed in Jap anese Blood Feuds. Scattered through the mountain dis tricts of Japan there are many little stone tombs, carved in thc conventional Buddhist design of tile cube, pyramid and sphere superimposed, and situated in peculiar places-some lu the midst of fields, some by the banks of streams, and some In the rocky beds, of dried up rivers. They are tho vendetta feather grass which covers hilltop and valley for many miles, and which is cut only by the narrowest of foot paths, worn by generations of.moun taineers. The Hakone country folk tell the story of how, some ninety years ago, the two young mon, who were buried tombs of men killed in blood feuds and burled by their surviving relatives or friends at the places where they died. The double tomb In the illustration ls of two brothers who met death in a romantic manner on the mountains of the Hnkone district, near Lake Ila koncr, and who were buried in the midst of the vast rolling expanse of A JAPANESE VENDETTA TOMB. beneath the feather grass, were sons of a retainer of tbe local feudal lord. How the feudal lord killed the retaiuer and appropriated his wife, taking her to Kyoto, very many miles away, where the Emperor held court. At which the two sons swore vengeance and followed to Kyoto, arriving there after much hardship and many adven tures. In Kyoto they found the feudal lord of their district and killed him decently and quietly and then fled back to Hakoncr. On this mountainside, however, they were overtaken by thc Emperor's men and died after a most brilliant battle, which is still sung by local bards to-dny. At the place where they foll together they were buried by the mountaineers, and late a night, if you should happen to pass over the narrow footpath that runs by their MONUMENT TO THE MEMORY OF NANCY LINCOLN. ERECTED ABOVE HER GRAVE A -From Harper's Weekly, o uss of the X-rays in private houses, liave recently devised the scheme of ? storage batteries of their auto rriel! direct from the auto to the patient's room. tombs, you could, lt is said, hear the faint clash of swords and the voices of the two brothers cabing to one another to stand firm and strike hard.-New York>Sun. TeachcB Shooting. Remarkably curious is a device wt?ich will interest military men. It is an apparatus for technical gun prac tice, and it consists of a gun-support, a pointer, a bull's eye mark, an auto matic clamp and tripping arrangement. The support and pointer have uni versal joint supports, and are so con nected with each other that parallel ism of thc pointer is maintained with the deviating line of the gun sight. The bull's eye mark is located In the line which the pointer occupies when the gun is truly sighted, and there is also' an adjustable mirror, which is used for bringing tho images of the pointer and the hull's eye within the visual range of the instructor. When thc trigger ls pulled the auto matic clamp serves to lock the parts In the proper positions, and the clamp Itself is held In readiness for action by means of setting devices. To those Ignorant of the art of war it seems rather a complicated mechan ism, but soldiers will at once see its usefulness. Editor to Bc Envied. No wonder tho city editor envies his country brothers. Said one of the lat ter at a press association meeting re cently: "I have an income of .$1200 a year. I pay no oilice or house rent. My provisions cost me little. I travel whenever and wherever I please. The commercial agencies rate me nt from $5000 to $7000. I have no worries, no debts. At least two days of the week I need do no work unless I wish." Took Moro Space. One of the proofs that newspaper ad vertising pays is the fact that the pub lishing house which first adopted mod ern display methods to advertise books has Increased the amount of its news paper space every year. HANKS LINCOLN, MOTHER OF ABRAHAM T LINCOLN CITY. INDIANA FOR EYE EXAMINATION An Improved Pe vice For the Oculist's Use. A self-luminous retinoscope has been recently devised by Dr. Henry L. De Zelig, of Now York, which promises Mr/or SIOLF-ILLCMIJ?ATING KETIXOKCOPE. to be very valuable to the oculist. Ac cording to the New York Herald the improvement consists of combining an electric lamp of special construction with thc device which bas been in use WASHINGTON IN 1785. AGE From the original marble, in the SI don caine to th.s country to model Wi dered by the State of Virginia. He on day night, October 2, 17S?, and rema li studying his host's pose, action nnd pl mold of Washington's face, head and accurate mensurcments of the entire f life-size statue within the contract til pince ready for Its reception, it wns i when it wns placed where lt is no^ seems to have paralyzed tho power of delineate him. Even the great Houdon of the mau, nnd tims hus overcrowded 1 the sword, the ploughshare nnd the 1 and simple dignity of the figure, until the "Father of His Country" required ! awkwardness knew not what to do wi artistic qualities of the head are bey< of comparison for all other portraits. for examining the interior of the eye by rcllectiug a beam of light into its interior. The incandescent lamp used in the uew instrument has the smnllest light filament ever.made. It ls only one one-hundredth part of nu Inch In length. Tho average 10-eaudle-powor lamp has a filament of from five to six inches in length; but this wonderful little lamp gives, proportionately, more than twenty times ns powerful n light. By an ingenious arrangement of lenses nnd reflectors the light from this tiny lamp, which ls deftly incased in and mnde n part of tho instrument, ls accumulated nnd projected as a luminous beam. Everyone lins seen an electric search light-how the mys of light cut the darkness like a sword of fire. The light from this new instrument is really a small and powerful search light adapted so as to reveal the hid de"n visual errors of the eye. With this new self-luminous retino scope the benin of light, modified to any brilliancy, mny be thrown into the humnn eye. The light entering the pupil of the eye does not cnuse lt to nppear luminous, but thc light th?t the retina of thc eye reflects ' nek through the refracting system ot the eye onuses luminosity. The optical expert using this instrument almost instantly deter mines the variation from normal, or perfect, sight nnd cnn prescribe with marvelous exactitude thc form of glasses needed. . Fruit Culture In ICngJnnri. In the very near future we nro hop ing to see n great rivalry of hardy fruit culture in England, for this question Is coming to the notice of the people, ?ind when our small capitalists have been sufficiently bilton by American and foreign "wild cuts," then wc may hope that the land ol' old England may have some attention.-The Fruit Grower. Hopeful IT Vain. Sfost of tho mon who own flying ma chines ure holding them fm^rt-isc. Baltimore American PERSIAN TEAR-BOTTLES Vials, the Uses of Which Are Known io Few Er.ro7.ean0. The quaint frisaos or bottles depicted In the accompanying photograph are two rare Perfilan tear glasses of a beautiful blue color, standing thirteen inches high, and having a like circum ference at tho thickest part. Although it Is pretty generally known that wid ows in Persia collect-their tears in glasses to spiaukle on their husbands' graves, yet, says a contributor to t!io ? v-t.5 ?2?Sf& 'it PERSIAN TEAE-rOTTLES. Strand Magazine, such glasses are hy no means common, and very few Eu ropeans, however long they have re sided in the country, or however ex tensively they have traveled therein, have seen them, or, having seen thom, have guessed to what purpose they are put. This is chiefly due to the fact that only nntivcs:a're allowed lo lie present on tho groat ' occasion when widows-or, for the matter of that, mon also-shed tears profusely, viz., the '.Tazich," or religious play to cou* 53. MODELLED BY KOUDON. ate Capitol, Richmond, Virginia. Hou lshingfon from life for tho statue or .ived at Mount Vernon late ou a Sun ned Washington's guest a fortnight, lysiognomy. While there he made a tho upper part of the body, and took rame. From those ho completed the ne of three years; but lhere beiug no jot delivered until the spring of 1700, ?v. Washington's supremo manhood many of the artists who undertook to essayed to convoy too completo an idea lis statue with symbolism. The cane, fasces take away from the majesty one might irreverently suppose that i support on either side, or in boyish th his hands. The truthfulness and md criticism, and must be the canon mem?rate the deaths of Hassan and Russian, the sons of Ali. considered by Persians and ail Shiah Mohammedans to be the rightful successors of Ma homet thc Prophet. The drama setting forth the courage and resignation of the martyrs, tile sufferings ol' their lit tle children and the heroism ol' their followers moves the audience to sob as if their hearts would break. The women cover their heads with straw to represent the sands of the desert; the mon make bare and smite their breasts; some strike themselves over the bare shoulders with heavy chains; others cut their heads with swords and knives; the track of the cortege on the tenth day, when frenzy runs high' est, is marked with blood. An Indiana Golden fioose. There are two birds to which one is tempted to compare a specimen of In diana poultry which was killed last week. One hs Aesop's goose that laid the golden eggs, tho other the Christ mas goose in the crop of which Sher lock Holmes found tho famous blue carbuncle. Tho janitor of a building In Indianapolis entered if "goose raffle'' and Avon tho capital prize, .which was still alive. He bought ton cents' worth . of corn, which the goose ate, and thou he killed the creature. His wife dressed the bird and roasted it in tin; familiar manner. So far all was nor mal. Tho wonders began when she mixed tho gravy. Chittering particles appeared In thc bottom of tho pan. She scraped thom together and her hus band took them to the jeweler, who pronounced them gold. Ono can imag ine the careful way that goose was oaten. Every slice and sliver was ex amined before it was swallowed. Urie and there ibo collide found moro gold, like the pearls of price which every one expects some day lp di ?coyer in i his oysters. The janitor is now irving to discover ibo family history o'f lh?*t goose. If ho succeeds in tracing it J nick tho quotations fer poultry in tho 1 neighborhood of tho bird's ancestral homo aro likely to bo high.-Now York , Post. THE DRONE. Alack for the lay of the indolent man, He's built on an unsatisfactory plan; Weary of risiDg when morn is aglow, Weary of hearing tho ice water go, Into the bath tub with ominous flow, Weary of fried eggs and weary of ham, Weary alike of the oyster and clam, Weary of water and weary of bread, Weary of drinks that ascend to the head, Weary of roadine: tho old paragraphs, Weary of news items, weary of laughs, "Weary of novols und weary of plays, Weary of nights and weary of days, Weary of smiles and weary of frowns. Weary of mountains and weary of towna; 'Tis useless to chide when he chooses, to shirk. Can you blame him for being too weajv to work 'I -Washington Star. HUMOROUS. "People call me flighty." she said. "Do they?" said he. "Then fly with me." 'Considerate Little Girl-Please, Mr. Keeper, wil it hurt the elephant if I give him a currant out of my bun? "There is something, darling, I ?want to tell you." "Oh, then, let us go away from the rubber plant. Come, tell me under the rose." '"Some folks." said Uncle Eben, "is so anxious 'bout de future dat dey sits aroun' worryin' an' lets de present get clean past wif nuf??u' done." "Hallwood's wife has such a sour disposition." "Yesf and he used to say she was the apple of his eye." "H'm! He must have meant a crabapple." .General-I see here's an article cm "Revolution in the Mince Pie." Colonel -That's tho kind of revolution you like to put down. I suppose, General. "What would you do if you were to wake up tomorrow morning and find yourself famous?" "Lie down again and sleep till I felt like getting up, for once." Bacon-What's that ambulance go ing at such a speed for, do you sup pose? Egbert-Why, another ambu lance went down a few minutes ago and ran over a man. Doctor-Your temperature is up to 107. Auctioneer (drowsily)-Hnndred_ an' seven! Hundred an' seven! Goi?gT going at hundred an' seven! Who'll make i. a hundred an' eight? Gertrude (tho big sister)-Maud, I do wish you'd stop your chattering to that dog. Can't you see I'm talking to Mr. Lovedale.- Maud (aggrieved) Well, I've dot a right to talk to my puppy, too. "Don't you like thc book?" "No, the heroine is a most impossible creature." "Is that so?" "Yes, she doesn't ap pear to have a single 'gown of some simple material that enhanced rather than hid her graceful figure. "Nov/, then, children," said the teacher, who had been commenting upon polar expeditions, "who can. tell me what fierce animals inhabit the re gions of the North Pole?" "Polecats," shouted the boy at the foot of the class. Toss-You and Miss Sere don't seem to be good friends. What's the matter? Jess-Why. she remarked that she was 24 years old. and- Tess -And you doubted it? Jess-Not at ail. I merely said, "Of course, but ( when?" A little 3-year-old miss while b**. mother was trying to get her to j?L , became iutcK^i?dTn~?'Tjec?Tr?r noise and asked what it was. "A cricket, dear," answered her mother. "Well, remarked the little lady, "he ought to get himself oiled." Little Mike (at his lessons)-I-m-im p-i-!-e-s, plies, implies. What does dat mean, pop? Big Mike-Don't ye know phwat that manes? Phwat good's y er school in' to ye? Shure, that's phwat a mon does to ye whin we gives gives ye a job o' wurk. .'His retirement from the board was du'? entirely to his poor health." "Sure there wasn't a squabble of some sort?" .'Positive. If there had been a row tho papers would have been full of in terviews with the other members ex pressing their 'cordial appreciation of his services and their regret, etc' " The "Sudd" of the White Nile. A recent number of the Geographical Journal contains a paper on the "sudd" of the White Nile, by Dr. Edward S. Crispin, explaining the method of opening up the true river bed employ ed by Major Matthews, who command ed the Sudd expedition of 1901-1902. The first difficulty is to find the posi tion of the river bed; this is done by probing, the depth suddenly increas ing to 15 or 2"> feet. Next the top growth, consisting mostly of papyrus, is cut down or burnt; and it was noted that when thc papyrus was fired the fire frequently spread along what was afterward found to be the true bed of the river. Men are then landed on the clean surface and the sudd cut along the river banks with saws; next trans verse cuts are made, dividing the sudd into blocks of size convenient for the steamer to tear out The bows of the steamer are run into the block, and the loop of a steel hawser, both ends of which are made fast to the steamer, is passed over the bo>vs and trodden into a trench cut on the surface of the block. The steamer then goes full speed astern, men standing on the hawser to keep it in position, and after a number of trials the block is torn away. The block is then towed clear and cast adrift to float down stream, when it is gradually disintegrated. The chief growths in the sudd are papyrus and tiger or elephant grass, a kind of bamboo growing to a height of 20 feet or moro. Up these climbs a creeper of the convolvulus species. There is also an abundance of am batch and a long sword grass that cuts like a knife, known as "oom soof." The steamer could cut its own way througji the latter in the presence of a current, as it. would break up and float down stream. In the absence of current Vi does not float away, and obstructs the steamer by fouling the paddlewh?el. Another source of obstruction is a very, light kind of duckweed which jeovers some of the small open pools.-Nature Particular. "Miss Kitty-Darling," he began. "Sir," interrupted the young wom an, "you will oblige me by not paus ing so long between my first name and my last."-Chicago Tribune. About 5000 workmen aro employed in'the meerschaum ? l-es'bt Turkv.v