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THE NATIONAL B?NK OF AUGUSTA j L. C. HATNE. Pres't. F. G. FORD, Cashier. Capital, ?250,000. Undivided Profits }$ 110,000. , Facilities of our magnificent New Vault containing'410 Safety-Lock Boxes. Differ ent 8'zes are offered to our patrono and tho public at 93.00 to $10.00 per annum. THOS. J. ADAMS PROPRIETOR. EDGEFIELD, S. C.. WEDNESDAY, JULY 2ti. 18i)9. Accounts Solicited, L. C. HAYXZ, President. W. C. WARDLAV, Cashier. VOL. LXIV. m. 30. LIFE Ah - There is something to live tor and some thing to love Wherever we linger, wherever we rovo; There are thousands of sad ones to cheer and sustain Till hopes that are hidden beam o'er them ' again. There is something to live for and some thing to love * ' For the spirit of maa is : like garden or grove; It will yiold a sweet fragrance, but still you must toll, ~ . And 2herlsh the blossoms and culture the , soli. . \ - * ?-? ? - ? ~ . ' j THE BACHELOR : 4 How the Stylus Clu ? ^ , ? - ? iirsr JAMES i : a. Touring the three years Joe He'agel had been presidentof tho Stylus Bach-, elor club he had seen the membership J dwindle from its original".-number .of ; fifteen lo two. R ' J > "Joe was always the most pronounced * im his.vie w8 regarding the'delights Of being *'free and untrammeled," ?s h? put it. Joe was in no sense a>uiisoga * mist; indeed he%as'gallautry person * ified when he came iu contact With .- women. Best of all he made ho distinc 1 tions l u j? vor of youth and beauty; in - fact,he seemed to treat those to .whom " nature had been unkind^ or Who had passed. the thirty-year mark, with a trifle moro consideration. On this account his ad veut at Wa .? verjy, * summer resort in New Hamp shire, had come to be regarded as a v blessing by the landlord. For five successive summers ho had enjoyed vacation life there and each year de livered his oration on the delights Of a bachelor. In that time he had met seores of attractive, fascinating, cap tivating girls without a seinblauce of encouragement ^eing - given any of them ou his part, while man?of his friends becanio tangled up itt matri mouy. His sentiments on the subject had becomo a byword'with the guests who went annually to Waverly, and wagers had often been made regarding him. Each year when he was about to start ou bis trip he was convoyed to the train by several friends, aud in jocular style they importuned bim' to beware of the wiles of the fair sex. Joe always assured them there wns no . need to worry on that- score, and his last few nir""""*11 .?-ovo T,OTI?>III? 1 in deckirir question That 18-,whi the usual off for his . He went " little atter. i C. train to a i _ him with otnew tu-t?e aotel. Sereu people, made the change, a? eld?t?y couple; thre9 children and a you?g woman who Was apparently ac?jjm * panic? by her mother. . "When they reacbed.the hjtel at the other side of the' lake Heagel was given a hearty welcome, by companions of other years, and they found him the ' same-gay old bachelbVas o: yore. The first week of hi3 stay-he was busy renewing old acquaintances, and on only two occasions did he me?t the young woman who had"arrive 1 at the hotel the sane day ho, d?d. . H? had been.introduce? to her, birt had for gotten her name. .When he. settled himself down io-enjoy thc summer be * reflected~that he^had seen Har " sitting demurely in the background at some of the social function-*, eo he resolve 1 to see that she would not bo left in solitude again. . During the next weak Mis3 Kiu&oro Vu several occasions was brought to tho front by Joe, and she proved a charming addition to the company. "Whether mama disapproved of Lei' en joying social li "e was nukuowu, but it was noticed the youngwoman was not present at the evening assemblies for -some time.- IllvilattonVVU*go'driving, rowing, sailing, etc., were declinad by mama on behalf.of hor daughter sev eral Jinaes^ - When Joe's history.had been re hearsed in Hrs. Kiugore's hearing on many occasions, . and she hal heard several stump speeches by Joe on .the to&atrimpuial question^ she relented enough to let Miss Margaret go rowing with "Joe while she chaperoned tho party.. The young worn vi was' allowed to join in the evcuins socials agata also, but her dancing favors were lim ited to Joe and two other staid married meu. No notice was taken of Heagel'a ?teaueni-jaunts. witb-M?63-Kiugore, a? it was presumed he was doing it from motives of gool nature, especially as mama was always on baud wherever they wont. The fourth week of the vacatiou had passed, and Miss 'Kiugore's liberties were not so restricted, another young man, a Mr. Semines, having also found favor in r~ -.ma's ej'es. So oue pleasant afternoon, when Joe had plauned on a sailing trip and went looking for Miss Kingore, only to "see her fading away in a canoe paddled by Semmes, he ex perienced a strange feeling of loneli ness. He tried to'laugh, but it was a dis mal failure. When he looked again and saw mania was not with them his feelings were lacerated more deeply. Ai insane desire fd jump into his sail boat and chase them seized him. He would accideutally-ntu them down p-nd save Miss Kiagore. _ However, he went back to his room and threw himself ou his bed. There ho * spent several horn s deeply ab sorbed in thought. He picfured in his miud how his friends would lau?h if they knew his feelings then; tried to picture himself as a benedict, With all the past good times nothing but a memory* Then he resolved to.; let Miss Kingore severely aloua "anet kill the flames 'kindling in his heart. That evening Joe made a desperate effort to avoid her, but somehow or other their eyes met frequently. When-he saw the appealing look in her big blue eyes as she sat alone he reproached himself and went over to her. He tried to be a little sarcastic, but couldn't. He had just been seated comfortably w?en Semines showed np, having tramped to tho postoffico two miles ID LOVE. There is something to live for and seme* thing to love, ? 'Tis a truth which' the misanthrope ne'er caa disprove, : For tho' thorns and thistles may choice up the flower, Some beauty will grace the most desolate r bower. Then think on it, wherever thou art, Lot the life be for men and the love for thc heart. For know that tho pathway Which leads us above, Is something to live for and something to V?? love. . f >'S SURRENDER, ( IR b Lost Iis President, > C. SULLIVAN. Away to see if a letter Miss Kingor? liad expected liad ?rriVeJ; . Wk?? Somm?s liand?l A missive td fc?i'-'flh?' was all smiles and thanked* hin?-pr? fusely. She ma'le rodm tot bini to sit hear her, and Reagel waa annoyed: She read the lett?r ??d talked to Semmes at the sam? time; and whb'n Joe saw by-a- glnuc'? that the letter jfras wrilteu ?u.a. rnaacul?ae hand;Com prising a dozen or :ao sheets, he was burhiug. Excusing!: himself .he. went. Oilt on th? piazza tosm?k? and reflect. . "Just as I always maintained;" he mused. "Here she is getting letters from a sweetheart in the city and flirt ing with us.. They are all alike, one bunch of conceit. Fin through, though; you cah bet oil that. She may fool Semmes, but not your uiicle. Semines eau have the field to himself after this." His thoughts were suddenly checked by a light toucb on tl^e shoulder, and as he looked up Miss Kingore inquired-, "Are you going to dance this evening} Mr.-Heagel?" "Yesj er, I nlein no. You ses I'm smokiug, aud I'd rather not go in doors, as it "3 too hot to danc?," li? answered-. By the time he'finished speaking he Was on his feet, aud looking a'. Miss Kingore noticed she had a far away look in her eye', and she seemed as if she was about to cry; He didn't know what; tc? say; but seeing that she had rt?Nrr?p" over "her"Shoulders suggested that she would catch cold remaining outdoors. She made no reply aud ap parently had not heard him. They stood there about three min Once in the solitude of his" room Joe made a resolution to..drop out of theiipe. ' Tbs-following d-ay he kept his resolve bravely by taking a'.trainp through the woods, eating his-flinner at a farmhouse. But it was a great effort on his" part, aud li3 had runny heartaches as he pictured Miss ?in goro and Semme3 having a good time together. . He was purposely late for supper and had his meal alo io, after which he went to his room determined that no power would drag him from it His absence was soon discovered,however, and a committee waited upon him and overruled his protests, taking him bodily to'tbs reception hall. Miss Kingore seomed to look more charming than ever, aud certainly she was very gracious iu her efforts to please Joe. He found himself grad ually thawing out, and it was a long time after the dancing ceased that he said "good night" to her. When he. weut to-.his .rboui he was ' fee'iug jubilant.,. .ADJ bis views! ou .the bachelor QU03tion had uudergone a sudden change. The rost of tho week the guests at the hotel were treated to some amus ing" scenes ns Heagel a:id Sommes triedjto outgeneral each other in get ting Miss Kingore to go with either of them. Heagel took the remarks about his change of attitude ou matrimony in good pvt. Mifls-Kiugore was im partial in accepting invitations, but mama was invariably with her.. "That provented any sudden d?claration of. love on the part of either. . When mama was absent the two rivals were with her, and the glances they- exchanged at --times, w^ro not those Bavcriug of love and friendship. .Matters weut along this way until there wore only four days left of Hea gel-*?- vacation. Semmes' time was not limited, auci Miss Kingore bad no idea wheu she was going home. Joe had become desperate and re 'solved to propose on the first opportu nity, while Semmes decided to keep an eye on Heagel and prevent such a thing occurring in the short time Hea gel had to stay, hoping that he would find ample time to win Miss Kingore with Joe disposed of. One of Joe's friends decided that a fitting novelty on the eve of Joe's de parture would bo to have some ama teur theatricals. Everyone agreed it was just the thing, and Joe was chosen to write a sketch for the occasion. Here was his chance of a lifetime,he thought. He would write a great, heroic part and play it himself, with jMiss'King'or? "playing opposite to him. i "We will -east Semmes for the vil laiii," argued outs of Joe's friends,and with that idea in his mind Joe spent a whole night wriliug a fiendish part with it3;aooompanying, heroic details. When the play was read over the next morning by the committee Semmes suggested that as ihe villain's part was such a strong one no one but the author could do it full justice. As Joe's friend' was in the minority Semmes idea w.13 adopted. Semmes then volunteered to play the role of the hero and was accepted, much to Joe's chagrin. When Joe's suggestion that Miss Frost, an angular maid of foi ty or thereabouts, be given the heroine's part was overruled nnd Miss Kingore chosen, bis cup of sorrow was filled. In-the hero's role was a love-scene ending with an engagement,, and Joe pictured Semmes waking it as realistic a3 possible. v a?a OK* "When everything was ready for tfio rhow the next evening Joe was the most composed of the entire cast, and -itrwas taken for granted he had fought a battle with his conscience aud had determined to adhere to his bachelor's sentiments. The sketch was finally begun, and Joe made a very gord villain. Semines and Miss Kiugore as lovers were truly t'Jeal. Everything pi?gress?d sraooth lv; and fiiirtll}* Jo? captured tue hero iu? and bore her off to the woods ;{the back door and the piazza in this -instance), when the hero, discovering the abduction, was to dash out and rescue her after a struggle, noise being inado by the trio to impress the audi ?nc8. The nionient Joe and Miss Kingore r?ncl?ed the piazza he pdt his arm around her and drawing her to him said rapidly in one breath: "Miss Kiugore,I'm goiug tomorrow. I like you, yes, I love you. Tell mo is there any hope for me? Will you marry me?" She could not have disengaged her s?t? fr ti m his euibrace if she had tried which she didu't.aud she said suavely, Hs if they had all night td discuss the ?---'?'Why; yon know you have always been sd proriounced iu your views agaiust marriage that I hardly know what to think of your sincerity now." Heagel could here Sommes inside delivering his lines .preparatory to his -dash-to the rescue, and he half-ex claimed : "?. -'50'- bosh, Martinet, answer mo crriickly! Is it yes or no? ' Jfnd bend ing down before she contd answer he kissed her, accompanying it with a hug. Just then Semme3 jumped out, and Margaret and Joe sepaiated. Semmos made a rush for Joe, and they grap pled. For about two minutes they wrestled around the piazza, and had Joe wished to iujure Semmes he could have pitched him off the piazza. He was content, however, with brushing, his hand across Sem men' face occa sionally, and when.he finally released him Semmes grabbed Miss Kingore aiid bore'her into thexoom to th? ceu tre of the stage with a triumphant stride. " Instead of hearty applause greeting him everyoue shouted with laughter. Miss Kilgore looked puzzled aud then turning caught a glimpse of Semmes, a.nd slie,too,joined in the laughter.and the play was abruptly ?uded. - Se?imes meanwhile could not see where the, juke came iu uutil oue of his frieuds escorted him to a mirror, and he saw a reflection of a face that looked like patches bf a barber's pole with its black and white stripes. In - _:".? T. . _i..i :_M o- . ? . . more trouble from me;" he continuod. ? Preaching the pump, Margaret worked the handle while he emptied his pocket of stove soot and-washed the soot from his baud thai, he had used in smeariug Semmes' face. When he started for Boston the next day Semmes was not on hand to bid him good by. Two months later Joe and Margaret were married, aud when the ceremony was ended Tom Burkus, the best man,found himself president, vice-president, secretary, treasurer, governing committee and board of directors of "the Stylus Bachelor club. -Bostou Globe. QUAINT AND CURIOUS. Sotheby. Wilkinson & Hodge, liter ary auctioneers of London, recently sold a genuine lock of Napoleon's hair for five guineas. It was accompanied by the origiual lotter with which it was sent by Captain Poppleton of the Fifty-Third [regiment to Mrs. Lcvaux, saying: "inclosed is what I promised von. It is small but precious, as I have but little left.'"' ; . . A well which spouts a large column | of water from 200 to dOO feet high | has been opened ne.ir Whittier, Col. The well was being drilled in the hope of striking oil. While the men were at work an enormous volume of water, under tremendous pressure, shot out of the mouth of the.well. Ever siuce the flo'w began it has\steadfly kept ni'. The country around is flooded, and no method of controlling the stream has yet becu found. . ? Among the suicides, which continue numerous in Paris, France, v>:as a re-" malleable one a few nights ago. A man seated in a cafe in the Rue Notre Dame de Lorette suddenly stabbed himself in. the heart and died imme diately. On the table at which he had been sitting was a paper containing the following words: "And DOW for eternity without regret! Ah, to see the moon at a distance of one meter." In 163 J, the Massachusetts general court passed restricting sumptuary laws. These laws forbade the pur chase of woolen, silk or linen gar nients,"with silver, gold, silk or thread lace on them. Two years later, a nar row binding of lace was permitted on linen garments. The colonists were ordered not to make or buy any slashed clothes, excepting those with one slash iu each sleeve and auoiherin the back. In Newbury, in 1633, two women ?were brought iuto court for wearing* silk hood" ajd scarfs, but they were discharged on proof that their hus bands were worth two huudred pounds apiece. A steel bird's nest was recently ac quired by the museum of Soleure, in Switzerland. Soleure has au exten sive watch aud clock making industry, and thin metal filings are continually being swept into the roads with the waste fiom workshops. One day a workman noticed a pair of wagtails gathering steel filings shining in the sunlight and carrying them tb their nests. He made an investigation, and fouud that the birds had coustructed a big ne?rt almost exclusively of Btetd filings. When the brood of fledglings had flown, the steel birds' nest - waa taken away and sent to the museum. Tile fighting around Manila of late Las not been bf a desperate character* but has beeii harassing in its physical requirements. This little black man, the Filipino, who is causing us the same kind bf trouble that the boy ex periences with a hornet's nest, cannot be understood in a day. When cap tured he acts as if his lot had fallen among o?d friends. ? He ' ?insi<Sri"d points beyond our skirmishers, nc -Hi ing, tb think that the aspect- of; his ??eirig cotintrymeri is a; huge .joke: The next minute but' give. hinOh? bhanbe he is likely to send a balled Intd ari American's back;, For . such an offence Major-General Anderson1 once had a Filipino strung np ;to d tree on the spot, this being tha only' American military ?xecution thtis far recorded in the Philippines: lt.. *. ; 'A giaiit private bf the M^ntari'?? bhose a different method: WhenTbft was fired on; at a distance, bf about ten yards and misse .!; he caught the bnemy, took his gun away from him; and then laid him across his k?r?fisi. After he had vigorously, applied ? biece bf bamboo, ho'seized the,enemy uy.the seat of the trousers.and,threw him toward the rear. "There,", he said;' ''Don't yo^-Hot me catch you'playing with firearms again.".-' %, <? v *, - Life in.trenches has often bee?? de its hoiiowed oui _ wall wherein are stored the odds ana ends of a soldier's belongings. Many of the men have pet monkeys.' A cor respondent of the New York Tribune writes that ho saw one man. going into the fight at Maraquina with a monkey sitting on his shoulder chat tering with rage or, perhaps, fear. Not far from the lines of the Kan sas command is a native cemetery. High walls of stone with an elaborate ly carved archway form the enclosure. Within are parallel structures of stone and. brick, some ten feet in height, wherein are rows above rows of narrow vaults opening on the cen tral aisle, with arched glass door3 in the better portion, the poorer ones being closed by a stone. In these vaults-"individuals" they are-are placed the bodies, there to remain until those left behind to mourn for get, or neglect, to pay box rent. In either of those oases out .comes the departed and his bones are added to the ghastly heap in the rear of the OUR TROOPS IN THE PHILIPPINES Wi cemetery. I saw such a heap of bones. It must have contained the skeleton3 of scores of forgotten peo ple. As ono officer expresses it, "It is a case of 'Requiescat in pace' pro vided your friends have a paid-up ninety-nine-year lease on a box for you." Not less trying is the sight of the actual ceremony of interment. We do not smoke long cigars at funerals, nor do we chatter ceaselessly thereat; both these things are done by Filipinos. But then, they do many things that we do not do. They wash rice in the dirty Pasig. Girls of len and twelve years smoke cigars. Females, old and young, wear the same dropping-off the-shoulder cut of corsage. That is, perhaps, au advantage for a man of family, since, in consequence, the stylo never changes. Not less startling thau tbe cemetery was my first view of the interior of La I Loma Church. It had been made the headquarters in the field of a division - commafide?'; In the roof gaped great n holes made some days before by shells t from th? fleet firing od Cdloocafi; The t altar fail bote a drapery bf bracers*, o isi'ddles ?nd ?quipm?nts. Wiiihi? the h rall a telegraph instrument and type writing machine clicked and clattered ; i bitnks jinedv the.walls; from the great/ g ?chandelier was suspended a mosquito ? canopy; a confessional did duty as a I "din ?" ? .'.-?i - ??ii - . ? -r clothespress, while in the sacristy was v a store of grain for public animals, and a on the walls and altar tho sa'cred d images and stations of the Cross re- f mained;, looking down on the havoc that hell in the guise of war had created I in His temple. It was awful. It was r war. t 7 So, too, we saw war's footsteps in 3 the deserted Nipa villages-a starved, g wretched cat mewing piteously, ? a r gaunt dog with down-droppiDg tail, a s flook. of frightened chickens, a few a "poor-pigs rooting in the ashes of tha T Ol soldier letter un.-_. o? unquestioning patriotism auu . most clear-sighted appreciation of the nobility as well as of the horror of ? war. Tho Republican calls it "graphic writing, "fit to be called literature." ? The author is an unnamed member of Battery A, Utah Light Artillery, and - he tells a friend in tho East that "it J was not mere soldiery out here; it S was incarnate Americanism." He 8 calls his companions "those who on t the Manila roads and in the Luzon ? rice fields fought a desperate fight, < asking no whys or wherefores; who i shook out tho old flag further from ? home than it had ever been before, ( performing a thankless duty, kuow- ? ing full well the reward- I "'Tho blame of tbose ye better; 1 Tbe hate of those yo guard,' " and he d?nie? that they were picked heroes, nobler and braver than the average American. "They were," he < declares, "common, every-day sort 1 LITING TO BE' CALLED TO THE FJROHT. 1 _: _!_/ ? of boys, with no peculiar sort of virtue over others. It was simply theirs to have a privilege and opportunity that other men at home, often by force of 1 circumstances, had missed or been 1 denied." Here is the passage by 1 which, perhaps, the use of the word I "literature" was suggested: "Death 1 was among them (the artillerymen) I from the start. A man calmly hands a shrapnel to the gunner and on the instant falls face forward; he is ' rolled over, a pallor is on his face, a ? blood blotch on the forehead-dead, so quickly does the call come to some. A man staggers from the piece, and clutches at his breast. 'Are you hit, '. John?" 'Only a flesh wround,'he an- ! swers, and dies after a whole day of 1 pain-so do some men sailer. A cannoneer steps aside, unbuttons his shirt, sees where a Mauser has made a red furrow across the chest, laughs, and returns to hie post-so close do orne men come and escape. ? have sen many men make the last sacri ice, and sometimes, looking down in o a familiar face, have for the mo ?EBBASKA MEN DIGGING TRENCH FOB" THE BURIAL OP DEAD FILIPINOS; aent felt that glory "was a hideous, hing, and yet it is a great privileg? o have seen men die so. The mern-; ry of it will make one stronger and .otter.-" There are constant rumors coming n through prisoners that the insur-*' ;ents' ammunition is giving but: Nevertheless, on the advance to Me ?los, whenever one was captured' v , -? - ? , ? ?? ? IPPINES-SOLDIERS HESSING. nth gun and ammunition, he had an bundant supply, often over two hun dred rounds. One sharpshooter had our hundred. \ Thus far not a woman- or child has teen injured, to the knowledge of our den; and yet the entire population of he villages from Caloocan to and be yond Malolos, much over fortv thou and helpless people, has been car i ed back by the insurgents. They et fire to the town of Polo on evacu ting it, and two bedridden old people rere burned to death; our boys mads LMEBICAN TROOPS TAKING LUNCH ES THE FIELD. rere discovered, but it was too late. 5ome of the Nebraska men saw what tppeared to be a woman leaving a rench and ceased firing, but a sharp lighted fellow saw a gun partly hid leu by thc dress and captured the ugitive. lu was found he was a iharpshooter, who had relied on this lisgnise to escape,after lingering long snough to make some sure hits. "Did rou shoot him?" "Naw! we kicked lim hard and sent him to tho rear." . How the Indian Plague Travels. Animals spread the diseacc by pois 5ning with tho germs such water as is ised by them and human beings, and -m all likelihood-by means of the insects which are common to them.and men, or to them and tho houses ? of men. Surgeon-Major Dimmick, of Bombay, an expert, declared th? methods of infection to be by che secre tions of patients or infected animals, by rats, and perhaps by insects. In the neighborhood of a plague patient; Sark, over-crowded,unventilated rooms were the main site of the retention of the poison, and also underground drains. The over-crowding of people in such places, he said, was the main means of plague distribution. Colonel Adams, a medical officer, deolared it proved the infection-is cat^ ried a long way in clothing, and to a limited extent by rats.- Another medi al officer swore that where he had studied the plague the natives called it "the rats' disease." Dr. Under wood, of Bombay, said that the plague is spread by over-crowding, rebreathed tit, and aerial stagnation. He de clared that rats were found in larger Qumbers during the plague than be fore. ' 'They were migrating from one place to another, appeared to be in a 3tate of "intoxication, and would not notice human beings when they came ?icros's them." A singular bit of testi mony, by Captain Wilkinson of the [ndian Medical Service, was of a sin gle case of plague in a village whore no native communicated with the patient. The only other victims of the disease were rats. A sanitary in spector in the Punjab knew of a case where plague-stricken rats dropped into a well and infeoted its water. Julian Kalph, in Harper's Weekly. Novel Care Vor Assassination. Under Governor-General Seaport assassinations became terribly fre quent in the island of Cuba so that no Dne's life or property was safe. A :rreat delegation went to Kicaport to iemand that something be done to im prove the enforcement-of the law. "When," the Governor asked them, "do you say these robberies and as sassination 3 take place?" . "At night," they answered. "Whero?" "In the streets." "So I suspected. I advise you, if vou don't want to be robbed or assas sinated, to do as I do; never go out at aightl"-Youth's Companion. Wheat Grown in the United States. Nearly atjuarter of the wheat raised iii the -vorld is grown in the United States. A FRENCH SAILOR YARN. fii? M?st ?teinarkable Experience of a Sea Captain. Ufr. Cl?r?t Russell of England is the best-known" teller of sea<tales at the present day, and tie certainly relr.tes some marvellous adventures. But he ?will have.to look to his laurels. Al phonse Allais of Paris, iu a recent is sue of Le Journal, gives the remark able experience, of a French sea cap tain, \vhoin he allows to relate his own story. Since he set forth on his voy age from our own New England capi tal, which incontestably exists, and can be proved to be still in its place, perhaps we may accept his words as truth,, "Captain" of the three-master Lucien GtuitryV' he begins, "I set sail from Boston, January 28, with nu exclusive cargo of varnish. What use people conld*possibly find- for six thousand barrels of varnish I do not know and besides, that has nothing tb do with this story. "The second of February, in tfyi early morning, wo were assailed by a irigh'tfdl tempest. Waves a.3 high as houses beat against my poor vessel, which strained and groaned threaten ingly. We could not ena nra much more, yet the sky showed no promise of change. We were iu imminent danger; every shock increased our peril; it was impossible to survive such violence if it continued. What should we do? . "Pour oil upon the sea! Certainly, we thought of it; but, unfortunately, we had aboard only a litre of olive oil, destined for the mayonnaise dressing of an-occasional salad. "Suddenly my second officer was struck with an inspiration of. genius. " 'Suppose,' c?ed be, 'we ahould pour on varnish! Varnish is much like oil.'. "At that moment the hurricane re doubled its fury; truly we appeared to be lost " 'Pour on the varnish!' I com Jnnn??ed. "The result was stupefying. At the first barrel empted over to star board the waves were visibly calmed Upon that side; the second, poured to larboard, achieved a like success. "Whereupon a sort of frenzy took possession of the entire crew, myself the foremost. Every one has heard of such a thing as a collective hal lucination; this was collective frenzy, a delirium of wild , exertion! We poured; we continued to pour. When evening fell, we had poured overboard all our cargo of 'varnish-all! And the effect! Around us, at a distance, the storm raged more and more madly; but about the ship, in a circumference of at le?ist a quarter of a mile,reigned ; the most tranquil of calms. That, Calline Smith. - Miss Ente Field related an experi ence which she had in trying to. sleep in a hotel in a Utah mining town, where the partitions between the rboms were of boards merely, and quite innocent of lath and plaster. The ordinary going and coming of the early part of the night was bad enough, but toward morning, when at last she had fallen asleep, a loud voice shouted from her keyhole: "Smith! Smith!" As-, her name was not Smith she made no response. ,, , "Smith!" came the shout again. '"It's time'to skip!" e "My name is not Smith,." she an swered. From across the hall came the call of the day clerk, who occupied the room there: ? ? a . -':. "No, that aiu't Smith. Smith's at the end of the hall." ' "Well, this is the end of the hall." came from the neighborhood of the keyhole again, lt. was the. voice of the porter. "Aren't there two- ends to the hall? It's the other end, you blockhead!" . "Who wants Smith?" came a sharp voice from4 the distance. "I'm Smith." ! "What's the rnattor? I'm Smith," came still another voice. "Well, whichever Smith wants to getiup. at 4 o'clock, him*3 the one," growiled the-porter. Both these Smiths slammed their doors with, a vehement protestation that they didn't want to gat up. "It's Smith in Nb. 1,' screamed the day clerk. The right-Smith had not been waked at all, fio the porter tfound No." 1 and pounded on the door so hard that everybody in the house who had not already been wakod was aroused, aud several people rushed into the hall thinking there was a fire. The porter went down complacently to the office on the .floor below. "Well," said he to the night clerk, "I waked him np, anyhow." Queer Insurance Casen. There is one sadly dramatic history associated with an insurance ticket. A gentleman, purchased one piiov to starting on a journey, aud, as is fre quently done, posted it home to his wife from the.departure station. The ticket was delivered simultaneously, with an intimation from the railway company announcing that he had lost his life in a railway accident. In the case of the Tay Bridge dis aster, an insurance ticket was dis covered upon the body of one pf the victims. The ticket had beeu'.educed to absolute pulp by the action of the sea water, but limier a microscope the printing could s?.'? be traced. The company thereupon admitted the claim and duly paid over the amount of the insurance money. --Railway Magazine. A Flash Measured. By means of a photograph, mad? with a vibrating lens, scientists have calculated the time of a lightning flash. It came out one-nineteenth ol a second. Tho calculation is based upon the multiple imago in th? photographs and the rate of vibration c-f the lens. The time applies of coursi only to the particular flash that was photographed. - Clevelr-.ud t Plain Dealer. "H?tt-OP When yon see a man La woe Walle right up und-say "huno!'* Say "hullo!" an.' "how d'ye do?" "How's the world a-usin' Vou??' Slap the follow on the back-, Bring your hand down with a whackf Waltr right up ind don't g? sjowj j GrJn -?ud shok e and say "hollo!" Is bo clothed io rags? O sho ! Walk right np and say "hullo !" Rags is but a cotton roll Just forwrapotn' tip a soul; An' a ?out is worth.? true Hale an* ??arty "how d'ye dot" . Don't walt, for the crowd to gov Walk right up and say "hullo !" Wen big vessels meet, they say, The saloot an' sail away. Ju ?U ho sn mo as you an' ruo Lonesome ships upon asea; Each one sailing his own jog. For a port beyond the fog. Let jer speakin' trumpet blow, Lift yer horn an' cry "hullo !" Say "bullo TV and "bow d'ye dot" Otter folks are good as you. Wen yer leaves yer house of clay, Wandering io the far-away, Wen you travel through the strange Country t'other side the range, - Theo the souls you've ohcered will know Who you be, an? say "hullo!" ?-Texas Commercial BeviflW. / HUMOROUS. Algie-What is the first thing y?n would do il you had $1,000,000? Tom -Resign. Father-Tommy, stop pulling that cat's tai!. Tommy-I'm only holding the tail; the cat's pulling it 'Housewife-How dare you ask me to feed you again? , . Hobo-That? ma'am, is a perfashnul secret. "What^ makes you consider him snell "a strong man?" "Why," I saw him open three car windows in fine cession." "3hav? * yourself, usually,- don't you?" queried the barber. "No," re-. plied the victim, shortly. : "Never talk to myself." "Did that woman give any reason for attempting suicide?" "Yes, yer honor." What was it?" "She say* she wanted to kill herself 1" War Herp-All right, I will accept your offer of $1000 for an article. ' i What shall I write about? Magazine Editor-Oh, about nine qr ten. pages. McFingle - Poor Broome,! ' He's, gone over to the silent major ty. Me nangle-Why-I-when did he-is he dead? McFingle--Well, no; but he's married. . A sure sign of old age-write it down as the truth Is to prate like a sage on the follies of .youth. jones-Ifs six months since I loaned you that fiver, and you said . you only needed it for a short time. Smith-Well, that's right. " It lasted' only half an hour. declare peace! "This is a strictly judicial proceed- ' ing," said the facetious- footpad who had kept the revolver pointed at his victim's head while the other footpad, went through his victim's pockets. "I am holding you for robbery." Hibbler-What are you writing now? Scribbler-A volume of bright saiyngs for infants. Hibbler- But how on earth can it be of any use to' infants? Scribbler-It can't.- It's in? tended to be of use to parents in sav-, ing the wear and tear oh their imag inations. "You know and I know," shouted, the attorney for the accused, '.'that it is better that niue innocent prisoners should escape than that one guilty man should be punished!" "I can not permit such a statement to go to the jury unchallenged," smiled the court. "Note an exception, Mr.. Stenographer!" roared the attorney. Dawson, the Mecca of the North. In is simplest geographical setting. Dawson, this Mecca of the north, is a settlement of the Northwest Te^-'i tory of Canada, sitnated at a point 1300 miles as the crow flies northwest of Seattle. It is close to, if not quite on, thc Arctic circle, and it lies the better part of 300 miles nearer to the pole than does St. Petersburg in Rus sia. By its side one of the mighty rivers of the globe hurries its course to the ocean, but not too swift y to permit o? 16C0 miles of its lower wa-' ter s being navigated by craft of the. size of nearly the largest of the Mis sissippi steamers, and 500 milles above by cruft of about half this size. In its own particular world, the longest day of the year drawls itself ont to 22 hours of sunlight, while the shortest contracts to th? same length of sun absence. During the warmer days of sum mer the heat feels almost tropical; the winter cold is, on the other hand, of almost the extreme Siberian rigor. Yet a beautiful vegetation smiles not' only over the valleys, but ou the hill tops,- the birds gambol in the thickets, and the tiny mosquito, either here or uear by, pipes out its daily sustenance to the wrath of man. The hungry for est stretches out its gnarled and ragged arms for still another 100 or even 300 miles farther to the north.-AppletonB* Popular Science.' Window Washing Not a Bar. Cau a lawyer practicing at the bar be at the same time a manual worker? This question is now agitating the members of the legal profession in Hungary. A young briefless barrister, tired of waiting for clients, took to earning money by painting, decor?ft ing, window-cleaning, paper-hanging, . spring-cleaning, and so forth ia the provincial .towns in the district in which he practiced at the bar. An effort was made to have his name erased from the roll of advocates, but the lord chief justice ruled that the young lega revolutionist was within his rights in earning money by honest manual labor. -Budapester Tageblatt. At the Milliner's. "Miss Golightly, shall I put some of this lovely clover on your hat?" "No; it's too commonplace." "Commonplace?" "Yes; it looks just like clover." Chicago Record,