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Gif tod That Way. .?It is dead easy," said he. "Irode .ll right the very first time, and have n sver had a fall yet. " "Oh, of course," said the girl, who had been practicing "this-is-so-sud don" before the mirror for mere than nix months. "It is out of the question fer one to expect yon to ever take a tumble."-Indianopclis Journal. By Brute Force. Lansing-"They say Jack only won Miss Bich by brute force." Leayitt-"How so?" Lansing-"He promised her his en tire dog kennel if she'd marry him." Detroit Free Press. The Rock of Gibralter Js ?ot steadier than a system liberated from thc shackles of chills and ?ever, bili oas re mittent or dumb ague by il anett cr's St omach Bitter*, a perfect antidote to malarial noison In air or water. It is also an unexampled rem edy for bilious, rheumatic or kidney com plaints, dyspepsia and nervousness, it im proves appetite and sleep and hastens conva Teec&noe. - _ Tile telegraph department of the London pos'office employs 3,450 messengers. Cripp The iron grasp of scrofula has no mercy upon its victims. This demon of the blood is often not satisfied with causing dreadful sores, but raoks.the body with the pains of rheumatism untU Hood's Sarsaparilla'cures. ..Nearly four years as:o I] became af flicted with scrofula and rheumatism. Made Bottling fsores^broke out'onTmy thighs. Fiecee^of bono came out and an operation was contemplated, I had rheumatism in ray legs, drawn up out of r.hape, I lost ap p?tit?, could not sloep. I was a perfect wreck. I oontinuod to grow worse and final y gave up the doctor's treatment to take Hood's Sarsaparilla. Soon appetite eame back; the sores commenced to heal. My limbs straightened out and I throw .way my crutches. I em now stout and hearty and am farming, whoreas four years ago I was a stipple. I pladly rec ommend Hood's Sarsaparilla." UUBAN HUQCOKD, Table Grove, Il.inols. Sarsaparilla lathe One True Blood Puri?er. All druggists. $1 Prepared only by C. I. Hood & Co.. Lowell, Mass. ?AAJ|9A DUI? curo Liver Ills; easy to lill VII 9 rall9 take, easy to operate. ?5c. As to Spelling. If there is one accomplishment ot which men are more proud than of any other it is their ability to spell cor rectly. That is why Deacon White, Dr. Talmags, Henry "Ward Beecher, Frederio B. Ooudert, Seth .Low and the whole host of able and influential men enter with such gleo into spelling bees. And do you know not one of them can spell? There are two pr three ways of spelling almost every thing these days, and no one can eay which is proper. Worcester sticks in nis two l's wherever he can, while Webster aees only one. Stormonth splits the difference, and the Century dictionary does not seom to know what to do. I am forever at sea, It hurts me to have my idols shattered. Pronunciation is a hard thing to mas ter. I grew up with the "de-fio-it," and find it hard to say "def-i-cit." Fpr years I said "fi-nsnee," and it comes very hard to say "fee-nans." Old dogs have tv hard time learniug the new tricks of this generation.-New York Press. HER HAPPY DAT. A CHARMING STORY OF M?DICINE AND MARRIAGE. . Two Open Letters From a Chicago Girl -How Happiucss Carno to Her. Among the tens of thousands of women who apply to Mrs. Pinkham for Advice and are cured, are many who wish the facts in ... Jctyt?&ei their cases made . . Jytp^jt&M public, but do not \j_^fifmj^^^rnrj C1VC permission tc ^TCoSflP?y publish their ^fgj^> names for reasons /j^^- ^aa obvious as iu /BS^Bk^vi an(* no name *s WjS w^mE^m QVCT. Polished /^^^?BSB faith which / ^^i^fek^ Mrs.Pinkham J ?^^'^ didher so much good." J f?la? I nm desperate. Am nine teen years of agc, tall, and Weighed 138 pounds a year ago. I am now a mere akeleton. From your little book I think my troublo is profuse menstruation. My syn. atoms are * * * * etc. Our doctor (my uncle) tells father that I am in consumption, and wants to take me to Florida. Please help me! Tell me what to do, .nd tell me quickly. I am engaged to be mar ried in September. SliaU I live to seo the <tey? . . ? . LUCY B.W. Chicago, June 16th, '05. Hy dear Mrs. Pinlcharuiw Thia is a happy day. I am well and gaining weight daily, but shall continue thc treatment ?nd Vegetable Compound during the summer, as you suggest Uncle knows nothing about what you have Cone for me, because it would make things very unpleasant in the family. I would like to give you a testimonial to publish, but father would not allow it. * . * . I shall bo married in September, r.-d ns we go to 3oston, will call upon you. How cen \ prove my gratitude? . * . * LUCY E. W. Just such cases as the above leak out in women's circles, and that is why the con fidence of the women of America is bestowed upon Mrs. Pinkham. Why are not physicians more candid with women when suffering from such ailments ? Women want tho truth, and if they cannot get it from their doctor, will ?eek it elsewhere. WHAT IS ALABASTINE ? f ' A pure, permanent and artistic wall-coating ready for the brush by mixing in cold wattr. FOR SALE BY PAINT DEALERS EVERYWHERE rn rr S A-Tint showing IS desirable tints, 111 iLL Ialso Aiabastine Souvenir Rock sent free ? f io any ono mentioning tipa paper ALABASTINE CO., Grand Rapids. Mich, fall fe A ?nd har straggle for Freedom. Agent? Vy.EAjtatfrd, 8,8,I^QaA.Cfl.B?xtford. Uh A SBA < UT it is a proof of Preakness to be blind ed by affection to the faults of those we love. I'or my part, I make no such distinctions. Even my mother, to me, is first of all an ! individual, and", after that, my mother." Pretty Janet Dale gave the speaker a distinctly disapproving glanoe. -'No, no, Phil,*; returned his uncle, indulgently reproving in that mellow voice which was one of his charms ; "first of all she is your mother, and after that an individual." Tho first speaker, Philip Drum mond, had one of those vividly hand some faces that would attract atten tion in any orowd. It we s so eager, so young-and his character, too, had all the sharply defined anglos of youth. He bristled with theories and opinions. Th<;re was a strong family resemblance between himself and his uncle. Mr. Arnyii Tan Dyne was also a hand some man, but naturally lin a more elderly way, with more rotundity of figure ; and the fact that hin dark eyes were eot rather close together de prived them of the t candor of expres sion whioh characterized Philip's frar-k raze. ! "Thank you for saying that, Mr. Van Dyne," 6aid Janet, to whom the wor l "mother" brought buck a sud, sweet memory. "I cansent to waive the point," said Philip carelessly. "It's too hot, any how, to be argumentative," he added, as he fanned himself with his scraw hat. The conversation took plaoe on board the Tom Jones, a dingy little steamboat that plied betweeu a South ern ci ; y and an island of the pair. They were now waiting to effect their entrance through a canal dock, and the pause was a tedious one, with not a ghost of a breeze blowing, and noth ing to be seen but a few gaping by standers on the bank, and the spright ly tiddler orabs scrambling about ic the mu 3. . "If this is a foretaste of the joys to corni," sighed Janet, "what a happy fortnight we shall havel" "2\ow, my dear child," urged her father, "don't mako up yonr mind be forehand to dislike the place." "YOT;. see," said Janet, triming to Mr. Vaa Dyne, "papa has always rep resented the island as a sort of earthly paradis?, and as this is the first time I have ever consenter, to visit it he feels personally responsible." "It it a jolly sort of place when you get usetl to it," s*?u?v in Phil. "Not very exciting : out yon ca$ do pretty much a? yov. please there-wear old clothes and be as unconventional-and as selfish-as you like." "That is not my idea of bliss," re torted Janet," "Whatever else the place lacks," said Mr. Van Dyne, "rhe air is deli cious. ."It makes ono feel young and strong, capable of any exertion." By this time the tiresome wail was ended, and the Tom Jones was puffing and snorting its way between the banks of the narrow canal ; into the bayou, which presently widened into a lake. The sky had been .growing darker, aud now a sadder: squall arose, with sheets of rain and a wild wind. The feminine passengers re tired io the small and stuffy cabin, where most of them seized tho oppor tunity to become seasick. A s a pre cautionary measure the engines were stopped, the Tom Jones not being a crait suited to stormy waters. "I trust this wi!! grow no worse," said Mr. Van Dyne, uneasily. "Are you suffering any inconvenience from the rocking of the boat. Miss Janet?" "Not a-; all ; only I wish papa would let me go outside. It is BO close in here." Phil appeared just then, with a beaming rmile. "Such a joke !" he exclaimed. 'The captait, forgot to bring the anchor along." "Not really?" said Janet. . . , "I don t see much of a joke about that my boy, especially if tho wind rises ar y Ligher." One of the dejected sufferers raised a languid head to ask : "Are we in any danger ?" "Oh, nc," said Phil, struggling to open tte door. "It's rapidly going down." She gave a hollow groan, "ile says we are rapidly going down," ehe moaned to a companion in misery. "The wind, not the boat," exclaimed Phil, ar d she fell back with a mut tered "Oh!" Preseatly the squall passed and the boat steamed on once more ; bat as they had been delayed, it wa? dusk before they approached tho island. Then the painful news was circulated that the tide was too low for tho Tom Jones to reach the wharf. "Must we stay on board all night," asked Janet. . "Wehre going ashore in a lugger a romantic lugger that will satisfy all your cravings for the picturesque," replied '.Phil, with unfeeling levity. "Don't be alarmed-it won't last lon??," ?lid Mr. Van Dyne re.issur ingly. The passenger* embarked upon the lugger with murmurs oF, "Dear me! how hor rid !" "I wouldn't have come if I'd known this," eto. It was durk, very dark, with only the glimmer of the lantern at the boat's hsad to light their progress. Two mer. marched up and down on the thwarts, poling the boat along through the shoal water; and the passengers shuddered as they heard the cry, "Hard off! hard ofi!"~for they knew they were about to stick in the mud. Three times they stuck, and meanwhile the mosquitoes bit ferociously. "Even you, papa, must admit that this is a poor beginning," said Janet ; bat Mr. Dale only groaned and gave a vicious slap at an invisible but very audible s'varm of mosquitoes. At last they reached the wharf and disembarked with some difficulty, but it was so dark that Janet began to fol low a striy mule, uader the impres sion that it was her father. She was rescued fiom this vaiu pursnit by Phil, who declared that her misnpprehen .iic 9 watt very nntilia). "How dreadful it ail as/' she said, CHANGE. "bat at any rate it's something to b on dry land once more." The next morning, however, unde a bright hine sky, tho island pat 01 its prettiest face and Janet could no help being pleased with it. The fresh ly painted cottages beneath the row of trees looked very attractive, am the old sogar house, whioh did dat; as a ball room, gave promise of pleas are to come. The days passed lazily and pleasant ly, for a stiff breeze had swept awa; the mosqaitoes, and the air wa like a daught from the Fountain o Youth. Mr. Van Dyne was his own charm ing self, and Janet could not help ow ing that there wa9 something verj winning also in Phil's good spirits though she was repelled by some o the sentiments he uttered. "He must have a hard, selfish streal in him," she thought, for she was stil young enough to judge people by thei: words. Bat presently the bright weathei began to break ap, and on the day sel for an excursion to tbs neighboring lighthouse, the sky looked so threat ening that Mr. Dale would not allovs Janet to go with the party. "Those long wisps of ?louds meai wind," be said. Janet felt inclined to pout as the ga] party, headed by Phil, set forth 01 their quest of pleasure. Darker and darker grew the sky and toward afternoon it began to raie in gusts, and the wind piped shrilly Some anxiety was felton behalf of th< absent ones, and Janet joined a group of watchers on the dining room gal lery. Presently the logger appeared, her sail sometimes almost flat upoi tho water as a fierce gust made her oa reen ; but at last she battled her waj to the whorl. "What, are you among tho watch ers?" said Phil to Janet. "We feared you might have como t< harm," she replied. "You feared for me?" he questioned eagerly and wistfully. "You, who believe in the duty o being selfish, can hardly imagine, '. suppose, that one may fee!, interestec in the safety of a fellow-being," shi retorted, taming away from him anc leaving him rebuffed and baffled. All the next day the rain fell in tor rents,, and the wind raged. Jane slept little when night came, for thc dark was full of strange noises. Toward daylight she aros a and went to the window. As far as the eye could see the island was covered with water. It had risen level with thc gallery floor, and was gargling ani gulping under the house. Still the wind howled and the rain deluged thc earth. A terrified flool: of cows stampeded through the wat ?ur on theil way to tho high groands ot the ridge. Presently a rocking chair uame bob bing along on the flood; then a wheel barrow ; then a chicken coop ; then s barrel. Janet looked across tho road toward one of the cottages and saw thc water flowing in at the front door, under the bed, and out of the baos door. She gave a little shiver as she turned away, and went to knock al her father's door. "Get up, papal" she cried, "every thing is under water." Mr. Dale, after splashing forth, on a hasty tour of investigation, found that mos; of the cottagers had airea i j ad journed to tho "ball room"-thal being considered the safest place. Phil was going around in a skiff tc carry them thither ; trying to revive their drooping spirits with the theory that the whole thing was a great lark. "This will bo something to talk about next winter," he said, as he helped Janet into the skip. "If evei you get short of Fubjectsfor conversa tion, you can always fall back on your perilous adventures." "Yes-if wo live to tell tho talo,' remarked Janet. Up at the ballroom they found ? dismal enough o::owd. One stoat Ger m?n lady shook her head automati cally, and ejaculated at intervals. "We'll never see our happy homet again!" The children were fretful, and their terrified mothers seemed tc have lost the art of soothing them. Phil made a heroio effort to cheer them np-played with the children, joked with the old folks and induced some of tho younger'ones to gather around the piano and sing ; but after all it woe a fictitious gaye ty he stimulated, and it soon flickered down again. There was something too alarming to be ignored in the fn rv of the elements the rising water, tho never ceasing wind and rain. Janet notioed with some surprise that Mr. Van Dyne was gloomy, and even snappish. He ans wered shortly when spoken to, and seemed more concerned about his own comfort than aoything else. He secured one of tho few armchairs, and ensconcing himself in it, relapsed into sullen silence. And still, as dark drew on, the storm increased, wieh lashing ram and screeching wind, und, above all other soundR, the great hoarse roar of tho breakers. Phil and some of the other men made what provision they could for the comfort; of the women- and children ; but Mr. Van Dyne made no move to givo up his easy chair. Pres ently thero were people asleep on the tables and benches-somo even hud dled upon the floor. "It looks now like a tramps' lodging house," remarked Phil to Janet. She turned and looked at him. "We are in great danger, are not we?" she asked. "I heard Captain Sanders say we may expect the worat, if the wind veers." "Well, it hasn't veered yet, he ans wered. "13ut it may." "Ye?, it may. I will tell you the troth, because you have courage to hear it. We are iu great peril, and . heaven knows how it will end." There was silence between them for a momeot, and then ho took her cold hand in his. "Janet," he said, "I must tell you -even bereaod ito?'-how much I love you ; even if yon c innot love me, it ! easrs my heart to tell yon-" "?ut I do, Phil,"'she answered, I looking ap with her frank hluo eyes, j The truth i?, I wa? afraid to let myself love yon until I learned, through this storr?, how kind and good and unsel fish yon really are. Yon need tr say sn oh hard things, but now I se? yon are one of those who practice but do not preach." And so they sat, side by side, hand in hand, happy in spite of their peri] -happy, as romantic youth can be, even in the thought of dying together. Bat no such poetis climax was pos sible. The storm subsided gradually, the waters began to recede, and as tho two watched, with tired eyes, the oom ing of dawn, they knew that fate had spared them for life and love.-New Orleans Times-Democrat. WORDS OF WISDOM. Trath loves to be looked in the face. A sunbeam in the heart is bound to light the face. One who boasts of lr s honesty will bear watching. Fine sense is not half so useful as common sense. A covetous rich man may be said to freeze before the fire. He that wants the earth will be sure to get it when he dies. A boy all his life is the object of some one's suspicions. There is nothing in mourning a loss that cannot be restored. Many a supposed giant has turned out to bs only a shadow. Love never has to be watched to see that it does honest work. Arguments are like bones with dogs. They set men together by the ears. One ponnd of learning' requires ten pounds of oommon sense to apply it. Somehow people always applaud singing, whether it is deserved or not. It is easier to be brave in time of danger than patient under suffering. Do good for your own satisfaction, and have no care of what; may follow. An ass covered with go kl is more re peated than a horse with a pack-sad dle. Better than he who wipes away a tear is he who prevents it from start ing. He that speaks me fair and loves me not, I'll speak him fair and trust him not. A sinoere confession of ignorance is one of the surest testimonies of judg ment. Families with babies and families without babies are so sorry for each other. There is only, one sure cure for sleeplessness, and that is going to sleep.. The brightest intellects explain their thoughts in the simplest lan guage. We admire a mean man who gets out of town and does not try "to live it down." Many people haye so muoh business on hand that they never accomplish anything. Sentiment costs more in dollars and cents than any other foolish feeling in the world. A civil question always demands an answer, but yon will find some who will only'spare a growl.-The South west. _ _ When. English and Boera Fought In tha earlier encounters between British and Dutch at the Cape, the British invariably had the victory. In 1795 and 1805 at the battles of Muiz enberg and Blaauwberg, on eao]i of the occasions when the .British forces took possession of the Cape, onr troops had easily tho best of it. It can hardly be said, however, that the back coun try farmers had much to do with these affairs. The battle of Blaauwberg, thanks to whioh the English became finally masters of the Cape, was a very hot affair. The Dutoh fought bravely and lost 700 men dead and wounded. The British, under General Sir David Baird, suffered to the extent of 212 dead, wounded, and missing. Between 1806 and 1848 there were various small risings and insurrections in the eastern part of Cape Colony, in which however, the Dutch were invariably worsted. When we remember Presi dent Kruger's clemency to Dr. Jame* son and his followers after the recent raid, we can scarcely plnme ourselves on our own deeds in similar emergen cies. In 1815 a small rising among the Boers of the Eastern Province was punished with extreme severity. Hen drik Prinsloo, Stephanns Botman, Cornelis Faber, Theunis de Klerk, Abraham Botman, and J. Kruger, were all sentenced to death as ringleaders. Of these, Kruger, no doubt a distant connection of the present Transvaal President, escaped with transporta tion for life. The remaining; five were ignominiously hanged in the presence of a great conoourse of friends and re latives. The gallows broke down un der the weight of these unfortunates they were all turned off together-and a long delay occurred. The ro was a terrible scene, which one shudders to think of even now. The poor half hanged men as they sic wly recovero J, crawled to the feet of the command ing officer, and begged for -mercy. Their prayers were aided by the .bit ter cries and tears of tue multitude standing around. But there was no mercy for them. Just be for o sunset these nnhappy Boers were hanged again, this time effectually enough. The neck between the hills, where this soene took plaoe, is still well known in Cape Colony as "Slaghters Neck" (slaughter neck ;) and one of the big gest grudges that the Boers still cherish against the British is due to the undy ing memory of that dreadful day. Nineteenth Century. Tho Largest American Mule. The largest mule that ever walked on Amerioan soil is now, or was re cently, the property of one George H. Johnson, a farmer living a few miles east of Honey Grove, Texan. His mulesbip is exaotly 18J hands, br 6 feet 2 inohds in height, being exaotly 7f inches higher than the lamons Los Pecos (Old Mexico) mule, whioh was so widely advertised iu 1890-91 as being "the most gigantic specimen of the mule family the world has ever known." The Honey Grove mule is not slim and raw-boned, but is built in proportion to his height, weighing 1619 pounds.-St. Louis Repu bbc Odd Place for a Needle. The Hope (Idaho) Examiner says that the little child of Mr. and Mrs. Mnlvihill got a needle in its hip by some means a few weeks ago, but as it was not paint ni they conoluded to wait till they came to Hope and then have it removed. The needle soon disap peared, and one day this week made its appearance in the child's knee, working its way partially out through the liesa, so tnat Mr. Su son waa. able to remove it with a pair of nippers. A prisoner in a California jail out off three lingers with a hatchet in ar tier to avoid work, BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM VARIOUS SOURCES. The Girl He Adored-A Commercial Outrace - Entrapped'- Not Im possible - Unintentional-Be Somebody, Etc., Etc., "There's only one girl In this world for me." Is the song he was oft heard to holler; And, come to And ont, the ono he adored Was the girl on the almighty dollar. ENTRAPPED. He-"I am told that your admir ers' name is legion. " , She (blushing)-"Oh, no, indeed his name is Jones. "-Brooklyn Life. BE SOMEBODY. "Oh, everything goes against me! I've played the game out." "Tut, tnt, old man! Cheer np Borrow some money and he some body 1"-Truth.: A PROMPT DENIAI* Schoolmaster-"Now, thou, who signed Magna Charta? Come, be quick ; who signed Magna Charta?" Boy-"Please, sir - boo-oo-oo-I didn't"-Sketch. A COMMERCIAL OUTR AGB. "Is your new type writer girl olever?" . "Clever? She's a blamed sight too olever. She ean spell better than I usn,"-Chicago Becord. UNINTENTIONAL. Customer (entering poultry shop) "I should like to see a nice, fat goose." "Small Boy-Yes, sir. Father will be down direotly."-Boston Post. NOT IMPOSSIBLE. Excited Traveler-"Can't I catch the four o'clock express for Buffalo ?" Bailroad Official (calmly) - "That depends upon how fast you can run. It started three minutes ago."-Puck. A FORTUNE FOB SOMEBODY. Dazlin-"Look out for these; fchoy'ro triok matches." Blazlow-"In what way?" Dazlin-"They light the first time you" scratch them."-Boxbury Ga zette. HAS X BAYS, PERHAPS. Miss Passee-"I assure you I do not wear those glasses because I need them ; I can see tc read tho finest print" Giddy Girl-"How remarkablo! Second sight, isn't it?"-Detroit Free Press. OBSERVANT. Counsel-"Did you observe any thing particular about the prisoner?" Witness-"Yes; his whiskers." Counsel-"What did you observo with reference to his whiskers?" Witness-"That he had none." Tit-Bits. NOTHING NEW TO HEB. Mrs. Jones-"That Mrs. Tucker next door must be an awful gossip." Mr. Jones-"Why, what's the row now?" Mrs. Jones-"Oh, nothing in parti cular, but I never can tell her any thing bat what she's heard it before." -Harper's Bazar. AN EXPERT STATEMENT. "Is there any sure way of knowing when a man is meaning to propose?" asked the bud. "You needn't worry about that," said the belle. "The knowledge comes by nature. The most im poi tant thing is to know when he isn't going to." Cincinnati Enquirer. # COMPLACENCY. Mra Bigwad-"It must be terribly embarrassing to bo as poor as they are; they never give anything to charity." Mr. Bigwad-"But wo don't, either." Mrs. Bigwad-"Well, they can't say that it is because we haven't got it to give."-Vanity. NEWSPAPER'S ERROR. Excited Gent-"You go to Jericho with your paper !" Editor (who is used to it)-"What's up now?" Excited Gent-"You stated the day before yesterday that a thief had en tered my room, broken opan my desk and stolen a sum of money, but that, fortunately, he had overlooked the gold watch which usually lies in the bottom drawer." Editor-"Well, I believe tho facts are stated correctly." Exoited Gent - "They're correct enough. But what is the result? That infamous man comes again last night and fetches the watch."-London Tele graph. A STUDY TN FEMININITY. See the young woman at the railway station. She is waiting to meet relatives who are' coming on the train. See her rush eagerly to meet thom. They have come. They are her dear cousins. Fifth or sixth cousins. See tho haste with which she runs to kiss Cousin Arabella. She doesn't lose an instant. But she is not in such a hurry to kiss Cousin Jack. When she see3 him approaching she does not hasten. She seems almost provoked because he wants to kiss her. She keeps him waiting while She lifts her veil.-Chicago Tri bune. A Sew Li fe-Boat. Anything that bears upon life sav ing at eea is of great interest to hu mane persons. There have been many inventions in the way of life-boats, but most of them have many objec tions, and some have proven them selves in emergencies entirely worth less. A new boat is divided into two lengthwise sections. There are water tight compartments which are filled with air-tight metallic tanks. These are fastened to the floor of the boat, and are intended as receptacles for provisions, water, clothing and the like, and in cases of emergency, ammunition. It makes not the slight est difference how the boat comes in oontaot with the water-whether she be pitched in headforemost or dropped backwards or sidewise-as she rights herself almost instantly and is pr nc ti nnily non-sinkable. The tanks for food assist in keeping her afloat, as, if properly used, they alone would keep the boat from swamping. Those who have studied the build of this boat declare it the most sensible and praotical article of it* kind that has as yet been produced,-New York Ledger. 1 WITH MAGGIE AT THE h ARS) Thia ls truth-aa we grow older, and go farther from the times When the days were formed In measure, and tho nights were writ in rhymes, We grow fonder of the old things-for, in that romantic age, All our living was a poem, printed on a tinted page; And the sweetest lyric written was at eve be neath the stars, Long ago, there at the farmstead, with sweet Slaggio at tho bars. I have had somewhat of pleasure from a worldly point of view. I have mot with kindly bosom?, with their hearts pulsating true; But. somehow, tho woods and meadows have no flowera quite as fair As (?ey bloomed when ? was younger, in tho love-surrounded air; While the moons are not as tender, and not quito so bright tho star?, As they shone when we were trysting-I aut! Maggie at tho bars; -Will T. Hale. PITH AND POINT. Love's young dream often goss by contraries. A good many of the people who danes contrive to owe the piper. Puck. Thc world may owo us a living, but it isn't easy to hypothecate the claim. -Puck. If a man does not know when ho is beaten, some kind friend is pretty sure tb tell him.-PUCK. More loss of sleep has been caused by defective stomachs than by guilty consciences. -Puck. To write an epigram all you have to do is to think up something mean in two line3 and niako it rhyme.-Texas Sifter. Jinks-"Would you call Brobson a fool?" Filkins-"Well, hardly ; but I think hu knows the least on the most subjects of any man of my acquaint ance."-Puck. Poetry Fed: She (sentimentally) "What poetry there is in fire !" flo (sadly)-"Yes; a groat deal of my pretty poetry has gone there." Harper's Bazar. How He Found Them : Jimmy the Con-"How are you finding things these hard times?" Mike, the Porch climber-"Easy. Been using the X ray."-Indianapolis Journal. "How large were the diamonds?" asked the press agent, pausing in the writing of the account for publication. "About as large aa chestnuts," con fessed tho actress, unwittingly.-In dianapolis Journal. Winterbloom-"Don't you think ?200 is rather high for a tailor-made gown? Von Blumer tells nie his wife paid only $150.11 Mrs. "Winterbloom -"True, my dear, but she got hers before I got mine."-Harlem Life. Game Warden-"Look here. Don't you know that you can't shoot deer just now!" Proud Amateur Sports man-r"Can't I? (pointing to ft fine dead buck). Look at that and see whether I oan't."-Boston Courier. Proud Pop (to old bachelor friend) -"I tell you, Dawson, there's no baby like my baby." Dawson-"I'm glad you've waked up to that fact. I knew mighty well there never was a baby like the one you desired."-Harper's Bazar. "What a nasty smell burned powder has!" said Johnny. "Powder?" ex claimed his elder sister, Miss Maud, looking up. "Why, it hasn't any sm-ob, you mean, gunpowder!" And she turned a lovely, creamy shade of verni il! ion and became absorbed in her fashion magazine again. -Chicago Tribune. OJd Koala Bear of Australia. A firm in Loudon, acting as special agent for Australian wines, publishes a striking advertisement representing a koala or Australian tree bear, with a cub upon her back. The firm, which is one of thirty years' standing, an nounces that it has in its possession the only specimen of a tree bear in England. The koala is an interesting animal, not because it helps to serve an Eng lish wine merchant to advertise his wares, but from the standpoint of the zoologist. Tho koala is a marsupial Phalaogistidae, resembling tho pha langers in dentition, but possessing much larger molar teeth. The koala has hardly thc ru liment of a tail. It resembles a small bear. Its scientific name comes from two Greek words meaning respectively a pouch and a bear. Its forefeet have five toes, two of which are opposed to the other three. This peculiarity does not ex tend to the hind limbs. In speaking of the koala an author ity says that the animal "live3 'imcB on trees." The hasty reader should not infer from this that tue koala de vours trees in its efforts to sustain life. The idea meant to be conveyed is that the tree bear spends a large part of its life in the branches of the Australian trees. [The name koala is of Australian origin, and seems to be an effort to put into one word the peculiar .sonnda ut tered by the tree bear. As an adver tising feature tho koala how leading a lonely lifo with her cab in London is a thorough success. Many people who are not interested in Australian wines have visited the tree bear.-New York World. Life of a Caution. La Nature contains a short note in which the horse power of a cannon is calculated. An Italian cannon of one hundred tons, with a charge of 550 pounds of powder and a shot weighing about two thousand pounds, will give an initial velooity of 253 meters pbr second; the length of time during which the powder acts is less than one hundredth of a second, from which il; follows that the horse power developeo. is about seventeen million. The writer adds that after about one hundred shots the cannon is put out of service, and its total active life is therefore only ono second! In large modern canuon the horse power mus as hi^h as twenty-four million. If the writer had carried out those calculations still farther, he would have found that, after all, this 24,000,000-horse power does not represent a large amount of energy, as it would be just sufficient to run thirty-one incandescent lamps for only one day. Absentminded, The story is told of a famous mathe matician that he was frequently guilty during his courtship of walking the greater part of a mile with the young lady of his choice without speaking. One evening she took advantage of his absentmindedness to play him a trick. She slipped her hand from his arm an 1 hurried home a nearer way. He continued to hold his arm in the Hams position, walked up the steps of her father's house, and raug tho bell, when, to his astonishment, she her self opened the door. Ho starte i in an incredulous manner aird exclaimed, "Why, S-, how in the world did yon get on that sido of the door?" MODERN BIO THINGS. One of the largest checks ever drawn in this country was $16,000,000 by President Soberts,of the Pennsylvania railroad, in payment of 200,000 shares of Philadelphia, Wilmington & Haiti more railroad ?took. The pavement in front of William H. Vanderbilt's residence in New York oity cost over $40,000. The single stone lying direotly in front is th? largest known paving stone, and cost, transportation and all, $9,000. The largest bronze casting ever made in America is the buffalo's head, which hangs at the eastern entra ace of the Union Pacific bridge between Omaha and Council Bluffs, The largest statue in the United States is Bartholdi's "Liberty En lightening the World," which stands on Bedloe island, New York harbor. The statue alone, without base or pedestal, weighs 400,000 pounds. The highest building in the world, monuments and towers not consider ed, is the Cologne cathedral. The heighth of this building from the pavement to the copper tip on the spire is 511 feet. The 5,000-horsepower pumping en gine in the mines at Friedensville, Pa., raises 17,500 gallons ok' water at each revolution of its gigantic fly wheel.-St. Louis Republic. The great hammer at the Woolwich gun works, Woolwich, Eng., weigh? forty tons, and its drop is a sheer fall of forty-four feet threo inches. A Mugwump. "Maw,"said the little boy, "Johnny is such a mugwump that I don't want to sleep with him any more." "A mugwump?" "Yes, mamma. . Didn't you tell me that a mugwump was come one who would not take either side? And that's tho way with John Dy. Ho always wants to sleep in the middle of the bed." Cincinnati Enquirer. Didn't Need lt "I have here," said the agent, "a little book that will show you how to be your own lawyer." "Et it would show me how to be somebody's else's lawyer,".said the man with the black beard that was gray at the roots, "I might buy it. But what is the use fer a man to learn bow to rob hisself?"-Indianapolis Journal. 4 How to Remove a Fixed Ring, When a ring ii fixed on the finge* From the swelling of the skin or joint, ' rab the finger with ?oap and cold k irater, and it will then generally ad? mit of its removal. If this fails, take a strong thread or piece ot fine twine, and, beginning at the end of the fin? ger, wind it regularly around and around it, with the coils dose to? gather, till the ring is reaohed; then slip the end through the ring from the sido next to the end of the finger, and begin to unwind the string, whiob, aa it progresses, carries the ring with it. Sometimes, however, when the finger is very much swollen, and when the ring is deeply embedded, even this plan will not succeed, and the only resource ia to cut through the ring with a pair of cutting pliers, first slip ping under it a thin piece of metal or cardboard to protect the skin. When Katar? Needs assistance it may be beat to render lt promptly, but one should remember to u? even toe most perfect remedies only whoa needed. The best and most simple and gentle remedy is the Syrup of Figs, manufactured by toe California Fis Syrup Company. Since the commencement of the present year over 11.500 doss have been taken to the London Battersea Dogs1 Home. Floating-Borax ts now the only pur? floating soap nude. Be ?ure Dobbins' Soap Mi'jf Co., I'hill., ls on every wrapper and cake. Ask four iTOcer for lt. Bed wrappers. Ko chapped hands with Dobbins' Float in?-Borax. Micbipan produces '?no fifth of the Iron of his country, mi nine 9.000,000 ?ons a year. Gold Dollar fl! onnmen*. "It is due you and a pleasure for me to reo? ommend your TETTERINC. Truly, it ls an in? fallible remedy and cure for tetter. My wl:? hid been annoyed by came for about twelve years, and after using the TETTEBINK for Ave days it disappeared entirely, to her great re lief. She is ready to s ng your praise, and I em prepared to contribute my cold dollar In erecting a monument to your name." Yours, etc, A. M. KAYWOOD. Evelyn. Ga. To J. T. SHUPTRIXC Savannah, Ga? 1 box by mall for Wo. in stamps. M. I*. Thompson A Co., Druggists, Couders port, hu, say Hall's Catarrh Cure ls the best and only ?ure our? for catarrh they ever sold. Druggists sell lt, 75c._ Plso's Caro i? the medicine to break npchil dren's Coughs an?! Cold*.-Mrs. M. G. BLUKT, Sprague, Waih., Mnrch 8, *9i. FITS ?toppeil free by Du, KLIIU'S OHE AT N'ERVB RESTORER. VO Ats after fl r?t dav's u<*. Marvelous CUMS. Treatise and S2.00 trial bot tle free. Dr. Kline. 931 Arch St.. Phlla.. Pa. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children teething, softens the gums, redness inilammx tion. a-.lays rydn.cures wind colic. 25c. a bottle. If afflicted wltii sore eye* use Dr. Isaac Thomp son's Eve-wate r.Drneuists aol I at '.IV per bottle. When buying sarsaparilla*??? ASK FOR THE BEST AND YOU'LL GET AYER'S: ASK FOR AYER S AND YOU'LL GET THE BEST. The remedy with a record : ? ....50 years of cures. The many imitations of HIRES Rootbeer simply point to its excellence;-the genuine article proves it Uade ont/ BJ Tb? Cbtrlti B. niru Co., PblUdelpbla. ; A lie. ; .ck?i? mik?? i filloa?. Sold ewjirhef?. Mr. Charles Austin Bates, the fa mous advertlaing writer, makes a specialty of medical advertisements. He has studied medicino And baa a habit of analyzing the ingredients ol every medicine about which he ls asked to write, refusing to write advertisements for medicines which he cannot indorse. Ho says of Ripens Tabales: "I had the formula a;.d wont through it from tho ground np. I found that evory ona of the ingredients was put In for Bomo special purpose, and was good for tho pnrpcsu intended. I have as much confldeaoo In Bipans Ta jules as I havo in anything I ever wrote about. I take them myself when I bare eaten a Ultle too much or feel nausea or symptoms of headache coming on, and I And them quicker to act than any medicine I over took. I know some peoplo who think they can't possibly get along without them. Hy wife went to call one day on some friends she had kn own al ways. She found they swore by Bipans Tabules. They did not know that she knew anything about thom or that I had written anything for them. By the way, lt - you swallow them properly, you don't taste anything in the mooth* Swallow them quickly and yon are all right Iou can feel their action In tho stomach almost immediately) a very pleasant sensation." H ?pans Tabules are sold by druggists, or by mail it the price (60 cents a box) is Kent to The Kipnns Chemical Companr, No. 10 Spruce St-, New York. Sample vial. 10 cents. Flantor's CUBAN OIL I"* For yourself and your Stock. Good *n for man and beast. Finest Nerve _kand Bone Liniment made. Cures I rash LUIS, wounds bruises, eores, rheumatism and pains of all kinds. Sold by all medicine dealers Price, '?6and 6C cents. Get Cuban Relief for summer complaint. Manufac ture d only by the New Spencer Medicine Co., CHATTANOOGA, Tass. tau COIN MONK? selling NU? HT INGAI.U TOV WHISTLE.*.*.*. - . Just out. Sells at sight. Kample, etc.. 6 cents. Superior Wire Mat Co., Heaver Falls, Pa. History for Ready Reference and Topical Reading. By J. N. LARNED. Ex-Prei. Am. Library A ts'm. tyOlvlni: History on All Topics In the Exact Words ol the Historians Themselve?. Not th? opinion of one man, but thc thoughts cf many men have been diligently sought out and ar? ranged for tba Ready Reference of thc Reader. In every respect a valuablo publication. J. G. CARLISLE, Sec. of the Treasury. A valuable work. W. L. WILSON, Postmaster General. I have found this work very useful and aL, wars keep it near at hand. JUDSON HARMON, Attorney General. I believe it will provo one of thc most vain, able reference books in existence. DB. JOHN FISKE, Historian. Where tho dictionary coes this History should go. RT. REV. JOHN H. VINCENT, D.D. I cannot now estimate the value of the tim* I have lost for the want of such a guide and helper. REV. HOSES D. H?GE, D.D., LL.D. Sold only bf subscription. Stnd for Circular. CHAS. L. VAN NOPPEN, General Agent, 128 Corcoran Building, Washington.D.C. c orn ?rp!. to M ?lavy?. RapaytUl?.., DR.J.euPM?Ni.uoanon.Ohle? is a vigorous feeder and re sponds well to liberal fertiliza tion. ? On corn lands the yield increases and the soil improves if properly treated with, fer tilizers containing not under 7% actual Potash. A trial of this plan costs but little and is sure to lead to profitable culture. Our pamphlets are not advertising circulais boom, ing special fertilisers, but are practical works, contain ing latest researches on the subject of fertilization, and are really helpful to farmers. They are kent free foi thc laking. GERMAN KALI WORKS, 03 Nassau St., New York. nDIIIU&nd WHISKY habits cured. Book ?rat Ir I Um nuts. Dr. a ?. noouxr. ?TLUTA. ?A. a. N. D.Tiriniy, '90.