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CHAPTER L THB BOY WITH A LAMB BACK. ? yoong fellow who is; pretty smart on general principles and who is always in good humor went into a store the other morning limping and seemed tobe broke np generally. The proprietor asked him if he wouldn't sit.down, and he said he couldn't very well, as his back waa lama He seem ed discouraged, and the proprie tor asked him what was the matter. "Well," said he as he put his hand on his pistol pocket and groaned, "there is no encouragement for a boy to have any fun nowadays. If a boy tries to play an innocent joke, he gets kicked all over the house." The storekeeper asked him what had happened to disturb Ms hilarity. He said he had played a joke on his fa ther and had been limping ever since. "You see, i thought the old man was a little spry. Yon know he is no spring chicken yourself, and though his eyes are not what they used to be yet he can see a pretty girl farther than I can. The other day I wrote a note in a fine hand and addressed it to him, asking him to meet me on the corner of Wisconsin and Milwaukee streets at 7:80 on Saturday evenKo, and signed the name of 'Daisy' to it At supper time Pa he was all chaved up and had his hair plastered over the bald spot, and he got on some clean cuffs and said he was going to the consistory to initiate some candidates from the country, and he might not be In till late. He didn't eat muoh supper and hurried off with my umbrella. 1 winked at Ma, but didn't say anything. .At 7:30 1 went downtown, and he was standing there hythe postoffice corner in a dark place. I went by him and said. 'Hello, Pa. what are you doing there?' He said he was waiting for a man. 1 went down street, and pretty soon I went up on the other corner by Chap man's, and he was standing there. You see, he didn't know what corner 'Daisy' was going to be on and had to cover all four corners. f "He gave me a doUar." "I saluted htm . and asked him if he hadn't found his man yet, and he said no; tho man was a little late.. It is a mean boy. that -won't speak to hisvPa , when he sees him Btanding on a corner, ^^irat.upistteet, and f saw Pa crossover iby te'drag-storeJ^^ . and cou?da> "waterproof' onVbnt she skited right along, ! and Palobkedkind of solemn, the way ie does when I ask him for new clothes. turned and came back, and he was standing there in the doorway, and 1 said: Ta, you will catch cold if you stand around waiting for a man. You go down to the consistory and let me lay for the man.' Pa said, 'Never you mind; you go about your business, and I will at tend to the man.' "Well, when a boy's Pa tells him to: never you mind and looks spunky, my experience is that a boy wants to go right ? away from there, and I went down street. ~ I thought I would cross over and go up the other side and see how long he would stay. There was a girl or two going up ahead of me, and I see a man hurrying across from the drug store to Van Pelt's " corner. It was Pa, and as the girls went along and never looked around Pa looked mad and stepped into the doorway. It was about 8 o'clock then, and Pa was tired, and I felt sorry for him, andi went np to bim and asked him for half a dollar to go to the Academy. I never knew him to shell out so freely and so quick. He gave me a dollar, and I told him I would go and get it changed and bring him back the half a dollar, but he said I needn't mind the change. It is awful mean of a boy that has always been treated well to play it on his Pa that way, and I felt ashamed. "As I turned the corner and saw him standing there shivering, waiting for the man, my conscience troubled me, and 1 told a policeman to go and tell Pa that Daisy* had been suddenly taken with Eorms and would not be there that even g. I peeked around the corner, and Pa and the policeman went off to get a drink. I was glad they did, 'cause Pa needed it after standing around so long - _^ Well, when I went home, the joke was so good I told Ma about it, and she was mad. * oruess she was mad at me for treating ra way. I heard Pa come home Soot ll o'clock, and Ma was real kind Ha. She told him to warm his feet, they were just like chunks of ice. Th*- ?asked him how many they in' histed tn the consistory, sud he said six, and then she asked him if they initiated l>aisyJ in the consistory, and pretty soon I heard Pa snoring. In the morning he took me into the basement and gave me tte hardest talking to that I ever had witha bedfilat. He said he knew that I wrote that noto all the time, and he thought he would pretend that he was looking for 'Daisy' just to fool me. "It dont look reasonable that a man would catch epizootic and rheumatism . just to fool his boy, does it? What did ? he give me the dollar for? Ma and Pa don't seem to call each other pet any more, and as for me they both look at meas though I was a hard citizen. I am going to Missouri to take Jesse James* place.. There is no encouragement for a boy here. Well, good morning. If Pa comes hi here asking for me, tell him that you saw an express wagon going to the morgue with the remains of a pretty ' boy who acted as though he died from) concussion of a bed slat on the pistol pocket. That will make Pa. feel sorry. Oh, he has got the awfulest cold, though." And the boy limped out to separate a| couple of dogs that were fighting. CHAPTER LT. THE BAD BOT AT WORK AGAIN. Of course all boys are not full of tricks, frat the best of them are. That is, those | who are the readiest to play innocent jokes and who are continually looking for chances to make Rome ?owl are the most apt to turn out to be first class busi ness men. There is a boy in the Seventh ward who is so full of fun that some times it makes him ache. He is the same hov who not lons since wrote a note to [ ?AMEBICAM PRESS ! lt and got the old man to stand on a corner for two hours waiting for the girl. * After that scrape the old man told tile boy that he had no o ejection to inno cent jokes, such aa would not bring re proach ripon him, and as long as the boy' confined himself to jokes that would simply cause pleasant laughter and not cause the finger of scorn to be pointed at a parent he would be the last one to kick. So the boy has been for three weeks trying to think of some innocent joke to play on'his father. The old man is getting a little near sighted, and his teeth are not as good as they used to be, but the old man will not admit it. Nothing that anybody can say can make him own up that his eyesight is failing or that his teeth are poor, and he would bet $100 that he could see as far as ever. The boy knew the failing and made up his mind to demonstrate to the old man that he was rapidly getting off his base. The old person is very fond of macaroni and eats it about three times a week. The other day the boy was in a drug store and noticed in a showcase a lot of small rubber hose'about the size of sticks of macaroni, such as is used oh nursing bottles and other rubber utensils. It was white and nice, and the boy's mind was made np at once. He bought a yard of it and took it home. When the maca roni was cooked and ready to be served, he hired the table girl to help him play it on the old man. They took a pair of shears and cut the rubber hose in pieces about the same length as the pieces of boiled macaroni and put them in a saucer with a little macaroni over the rubber pipes and placed the dish at the old man's plate. Well, we suppose if 10,000 people could have had reserve seats and seen the old man struggle with the india rubber mac aroni and have seen the boy's struggle to keep from laughing they would have had more fun than they would- at ? circus. First the old delegate attempted to cut the macaroni into small pieces, and fail ing he remarked that it was not cooked enough. The boy said his macaroni was cooked too tender, and that his father's teeth were so poor that he would have to eat soup entirely pretty soon. The old man said, "Never you mind my teeth, young man," and decided that he would not complain of anything again. He took up a couple of pieces of rubber and one piece of macaroni on a fork and put them in his mouth., The macaroni dissolved easy enough and went down perfectly easy, but the flat macaroni was too much for him. He chewed on it for a minute or two and talked about the weather in order that none of the family should see that ha was in trouble, and when he found that the macaroni would not go down he called their attention to something out of the window and took the rub* He chewed like a seminary girl chewing gum. ber slyly from his mouth, and laid it under tue edge of i bis; plate; He was more than half convinced that bis teeth were played out, but went on eating something else for awhile, and finally he thought he would just chance the maca roni once more for luck, and he mowed away another forkful in his mouth. It was the same old story. Ho chewed like a seminary girl chewing gum, and his eyes stuck out, and his face became red, aiid bis wife looked at him as though afraid he wai going to die of apoplexy, and finally the servant girl burst out laughing and went out of the room with her apron stuffed in her mouth, and the boy felt a? though it was unhealthy to tarry too long at the table, and he went out. ;* ; ... Left alone with bis wife the old man took the rubber macaroni from bis mouth and laid it on his plate, and he and bis wife held an inquest over it The wife tried to spear it with a fork, but couldn't make any impression on it, and then she saw it was rubber hose and told the old man. He was mad and glad at the same time-glad because he had found that his teeth were not to blame and mad be cause the grocer had sold him bearding house macaroni. Then the girl came in and was put on the confessional and told alL and presently there was a sound of revelry by night in the wood shed, and the still, small voice was saying: "Oh, Pa, don't. You said you didn't care for innocent jokes. Ohl" And then the old man between the j strokes of the piece of clapboard would say: "Feed your father a hose cart next, won't ye? Be firing car springs and clothes w: Ingers down me next, eh? Put some gravy on a rubber overcoat proba bly and serve it to me for salad. Try a piece of overshoe with a bone iu it for my beefsteak likely. Give your poor old father a slice of rubber bib in place of ] tripe tomorrow, I expect. Boil me a rub-1 ber water bag for apple dumplings pret ty soon if I don't look out There! You go and split the kindling wood." 'Twas | ever thus. A .boy can't have any fun nowadays. _ CHAPTER m. THE BAD BOY'S FOURTH OF JULY. "How long do yon think it will be be fore your father will be able to come down to the office?" asked the druggist of the bad boy as he was bnyingsome ar nica and court plaster. "Oh, the doo says he could come down now if h?g would on some street where there were no horses to scare," said the boy as he bought some gum. "But he says he ain't in no hurry to come down j till his hair grows out and he gets some new clothes made. Say, do you wet thia court plaster and stick it on?" The druggist told 1dm bow the court plaster worked ancLthen asleep him if hil "Pa couldzH; ride down towri. "Bide down? Well, I guess nix He would have to sit down if he rode down town, and Pa is no setter this trip. He j is a pointer. Thats where the pinwheel struck hiiu." "Well, how did it all happen?" asked the druggist as he wrapped a yellow paper over the bottle of arnica and twist ed the ends and then helped the, boy stick*the stiip of^court plaster*on ms nose., "Nobody knows- how il happened but Pa, and when 1 come near to ask him about it ho fiji?ls around his nightshirt ;{ where his" pistol pocket would be if it was pants ; he had- on and tells me toi leave his sight forever, and I leave, too, quick. You see, he is afraid I will get hurt every Fourth of July, and he told me if I wouldn't fire a firecracker all day he would let me get $4 worth of nice fireworks, and he would fire them off for me in the evening in the backyard. I promised, and he gave me the money, and I bought a dandy lot of fireworks, and don't you forget it. I had a lot of rockets and roman candles, and-six pin wheels, and a lot of nigger chasers, and some of these cannon firecrackers, and torpedoes, and a box of parlor matches. I took them home and put the package in our big stuff ed chair and put a news paper over them. "Just then the explosion took place." "Pa always takes a nap in that stuffed chair after dinner, and he went into the sitting room, and I heard him driving pur poodle ?og ont of the chair and heard him ask the dog what he was a-che wing, and just then the explosion took place, and we all rushed in there. 1 tell yon whf.t I honestly think. I think that dog was chewing that box of parlor matches--this kind that pop so when yon step on them. Pa was just going to set down when the whole air was filled with dog and Pa and rockets and every thing. When I got in there, Pa had a sofa pillow trying to put the dog ont, and in the meantime Pa's linen pants were afire. I grabbed a pail of this in digo water that they had been rinsing clothes with and thro wed it on Pa, or there wouldn't have been a place on him bigger*n a sixpence that wasn't burnt, and then he threw a camp chair at me and told me to go to Gehenna. Ma says that*s the new hell they have got np in the revised edition of the Bible for bad boys. When Pa's pants were ont, his coattail blazed np, and a roman candle was firing blue and red balls at his legs, and a rocket got into his white vest. The scene beggared description, like the Racine fire. "A nigger chaser got after Ma and treed her on top of the sofa, and another one took after a girl that Ma invited to dinner and. burnt one of her stockings so she had to wear one of Ma's stockings, a good deal too big for her, home. After things got a little quiet, and we opened the doors and windows to let out the smoke and the smell of burnt dog hair and Pa's whiskers, the big firecrackers began to go off, and a policeman came to the door and asked who t was the matter, and Pa told him to go along with me to Gehenna, but I don't want to go with a policeman. It would give me dead away. Well, there was. nobody hurt much but the dog and Pa. I felt awful sorry for the dog. He hasn't got hair enough to cover hisself. Pa didn't have much hair anyway, except by the ears, but he thought a good deal of his whiskers, 'cause tibey wasn't very gray. Say, couldn't yon send this anarchy np to the house? If I go up there, Pa will say I am the damest fool on record. This is the last Fourth of July yera catch zne cele brating. I am going to work in a glue factory where nobody will ever cometo see me." And the boy went out to pick np some squib firecrackers that had failed to ex plode in front of the drug store. CHAPTER IV. THE BAD BOY'S MA OOHES HOME. "When is your Ma coming back?' asked the grocery man of the bad boy as he found him standing on the sidewalk when the grocery was opened in the morning, taking some pieces of brick ont of his coattail pockets. "Oh, she got back at midnight last night," said the boy as he eat afew blue berries ont of a case. "That's what makes me up so early. Pa has been kick ing at these pieces of brick with his bare feet, and when I came away he had his toes in his hand and was trying to go back np stairs on one foot Pahaintgot no sense." "I am afraid you are a terror," said the grocery man as he looked at the in nocent face of the boy. "You are al ways making your parents some trouble, and it is a wonder to me they don't send you to some reform Behool. What dev iltry were you up to last night to get Hoked this morning?" "Ko deviltry, just a little fun. You Ma went to Chicago to stay a week, and she got tired and telegraphed she would be home last night, and Pa was down town, and I forgot to give him the dispatch, and after he went to bed me and a chum of mine thought we would have a Fourth of July. "He tried to stab me with hie big toe nail." "You see, my chum has got a sister about as big as Ma, and we hooked some of her clothes, and after Pa got to snor ing we put them in Pa's room. Oh, you'd 'a' laffed. We put a pair of No. 1 slippers with blue stockings down in front of the rocking chair beside Pa's boots, and a red corset on a chair, and my chum's sister's best black silk dress on another chair, and a hat with a white feather on on the bureau, and some frizzes on the gas bracket, and every thing we could find that belonged to a girl in my chum's sister's room. Ob, we got a red parasol, too, and left it right in the middle of the floor. "Well, when I looked aft the layout and heard Pa snoring,? thought I should die. You see, Ma knows Pa ls a darn good feller, but she is easily excited. My chum slept with me that night, and when we heard the doorbell ring I stuffed a pillow in my mouth. Th eve was no body to meet Ma at the depot, and she hired a hack and camp right up. No body heard the bell tint, me, and I had to go down and let Ma in. She was pretty hot, now, you bet, at not being met at the depot. " 'Where's your father? said aha aa she began to go up stairs. "I told her I guessed Pa bad gone to sleep by this time, but I heard a good deal of noise in the room about an nour ago, and maybe he was taking a bath. Then I slipped up stairs and looked over the banisters. Ma said something about heavens and earth, and where is the hus sy, and a lot of things I couldn't hear, and Fa said damfino, and it'? no euch thing, and the door siammea, ana tney talked for two honra "I s'pose they finally layed it to me, as they always do, 'cause Pa called me very early this morning, .and ?When I came down stairs he came ont in the hall, and his face was redder'n a beet, and he tried to stab me with his big toe nail, and if it hadn't been for these pieces of brick he would have hurt my feelings. I see they had my chum's sis ter's clothes all pinned up in a newspa per, and I s'pose when 1 go back"; I shall have to carry them home, and then she will Oe down on me. Til tell you what, I have got a good notion to take some shoe maker's wax and stick my chum on my back and travel with a circus as a double headed boy from Borneo. A fellow could have more fun and not get kicked all the time." And the boy sampled some strawber ries in a case in front of tho store and went down the street whistling for his chum, who was looking out of an alley to see if the coast was clear. CF APTER V. HIS PA IS A DARN COWARD. - "I suppose you think my Pa is a brave man," said the bad boy to the grocer as he was trying a new can opener on a tin biscuit box in the grocery, while the gro cer was putting up some canned goods for the boy, who said the goods were for the folks to use at a picnic, but which wore to be taken out camping by the boy and bis chum. "Oh, Isupposehe is a brave man," said the grocer as he charged the goods to the boy's father. "Your Pa is called a ma jor, and you know at the time of the re union he wore a veteran badge and talked to the boys about how they suffered dur ing the war." "Suffered nothing," remarked the boy with a sneer, "unless they suffered from the peach brandy and leather pies Pa sold them. Pa was a sutler-that's the kind of a veteran he was-and he is a coward." "What makes you think your Pa is a coward?" asked the grocer as he saw the boy slipping some sweet crackers into his pistol pocket. "Well, my chum and me tried Urn last night, end he is so sick this morning that he can't get up. Yon see, since the burglars got into Magie's Pa has been telling what ho would do if the burglars got into our house. He said he would jump out of bed and knock one senseless with his fist and throw the other over the banister. I told my chum Pa was a cow ard, and we fiied up like burglars, with masks on, and I had Pa's long bunting boots on, and wo palled caps down over our eyes aud looked fit to frighlen a po "/ took a shawl strap and iras strapping his feet toacther." SASJL ii-ki Doable Ch Will completely destroyxhe desire forT leas ; cause no sickness, and may be gi vt ; edge of tho patient, -who will volunt-u-U) BRTOE??HEB Wi M08PMB II the patient, by the uso of onr SPECIAL During: treatment patients ?TO r.llrw. d 1 phlne until such tame us tiu-y slu.ll volhj We send particulars alfil vamphlet ot bo plud to place sufferers from usiy of tb tion with persons who Jiu vt: buen cured b; HILL'S TABLETS ere for sch druggists ut $ J .00 l?? padtaffc. Iryour druggist dor* net keep thom, i and we will scud you, Ly return mail, a Tablets. Write your samo and r.ddresgpluinl whether Tubbits aro for Tobacco, Mo] Liquor Habit. DO NOT BE DECEIVED into purch any of thc various juwrru.i.s ihnt uro bo offered for salo. Ask for DEOLJLi'S TABLETS and tako nu other. Mauuf acturcd 0nl7 by OHI(f CEIM?CAL CO,, Bl. 53 & 66 Opera Eloc/., LIMA, CHIO. PARTICULARS f ^| FREE. ' 4 .RESPONSIBLE AG?NTS WA?! ( In w.-i lins piense i DON'T FORI DON'T FORI liceman. I took Pa's' meerscham pipe case and tied a little piece of ice over the end the stem goes in, and after Pa and Ha was asleep we went in the room, and I put the cold muzzle of the ice revolver to Pa's temple, and when he woke np I told him if he moved a muscle or said a word I would spatter the wall and the counterpane with his brains, He closed his eyes and began to pray. Then I stood off and told him to hold up his hands and tell me where the valuables was. He held up his hands and sat up in bed and sweat and trembled and told us the change was in his left hand pants pock et and that Ma's money purse was in the | burean drawer in the cuff box, and my chum went and got them. "Pa shook so the bed fairly squeaked, and I told him I was a good notion to shoot a few holes in him just for fun, and he cried and said, 'Please, Mr. Bur glar, take all I have got, but spare a poor old man's life, who never did any harm Then I told him to lay down on his stom ach and pull the clothes over his head and stick his feet over the footboard, and he did it, and I took a shawl strap and was strapping his feet together, and he was scared, I tell you. It would have been all right if Ma hadn't woke up. Pa trembled so Ma woke up and thought he had the ager, and my chum turned np the light to see how much there was in Ma's purse, and Ma see me and asked me what I was doing, and I told her I was a burglar, robbing the house. "I don't know whether Ma tumbled to the racket or not, but shetiirew a pillow at me and said, 'Get out of here, or Fll take you across my knee,' and she got np, and we run. She followed us to my room and took Pa's jointed fishpole and mauled us both until I don't want any more burgling, and my chum says he will never speak to me again. I didn't think Ma had so much sand. She is brave as a lion, and Pa is a regular squaw. Pa sent for] me to come to his room this morning, but I ain't well and am going out to Pe-1 waukee to camp out till the burglar scare J is over. If Pa comes around here talk ing about war times and how he faced the enemy on many a well fought field, you ask him if he ever threw any bur glars down a banister. He is a f rod, Pa is, but Mu would make a good chief of police, and don't you let it escape you. And the boy took his canned ham and lobster, and tucking some crockers inside the bosom of his blue flannel shirt start ed for Pewaukee, while the grocer looked at him as though he was a hard citizen. CHAPTER YT. HE 13 TOO HEALTHY. "There, 1 knew you would get into trouble." said the grocery man to the bad boy as a policeman came along leading him by the ear, the boy having an ampty champagne bottle in one hand and a black eye. "What has he been doing, Mr. Policeman?" asked the grocery man as the policeman halted with the boy in front of the store. "Well, I was going by a house np here when, this kid opened the door with a quart bottle of champagne, and he cut the wire and fired the cork at another boy, and the champagne went all over the sidewalk, and some of it went on me, and I knew there ' was something wrong, 'cause champagne is too expen sive to waste that way, and he said he was running the shebang and if I would bring him here you would say he was all rieht. If you say so. I will let him so.'' 6RFMEMRED WE GCARAMTEE 'ftClfltmCCn and invite th 5 careful investigation us to our resp g ity and tho merits of our Tablets. loride of Gold Tablet CBACCO In from 3 to 5 days. Perfectly burm ? i i.i a cup of tea or coffee without th? knowl ' stop smoking of chewing in a f ow days. ? ^TW can be curftd at home, aud with Li Lil out any effort on the p:irt of FORMULA GOLD CURE TABLETS. ibo free use of liquor or Mor ti tartly give thom up. testimonials free, and ebal] csa babita In comainidca y the usc of our TABLETS, J by all FIRST-CLASS [?nclrv9o us S'l. OO packuge ot our ly. and state -pblno or aging lng D cure du wb V. L'l th c and (rom from ton to and smoked f< of your Tablets THE On IO CHEMICAL O for $l.ai worth of your them all right und, al thoo g) they did tLe work iu less th? Truly yonr TUK Onio CHE* ICAL Co.:-OrxTLM word of praise for your Tabbi-. My liquor, :.nd through a friend, ' . jlod v constant drinker, but Liter ' , your 'i and will not touch liquor of a* ad. 1 ha you, iu order to know mo cur' pcrmoneu ino CHEMICAL Co :-GEXTL- .., :-Your Tablet isrti morphine, hypoderi: >lly, for seven y< ges of your Tablots, and vitbout any effort on Addr^s all Orders U THE OHIO CHEI 51, 53 and 55 Op ED uonUcu thia paper.) ?ET THE flDtfflWTflCE " ?ET THE SECURITY g? ?ET THE FAClldTIES J?? ?ETTHEMmETY^ ?ET THE EGQI?QMY in 0,1 imifco ?ET THE 1MPI1IIWMCE f0 cs GUSTA Jjt?lW?Et* fl?C?STH, CA. The grocery man said he had Detter let the bey go, as his parents would not like to have their little pet locked up. So the policeman let go his ear, and he threw the empty bottle at a cpal wagon, and after the policeman had brushed the champagne off his coat and smelled of his fingers and started off the grocery man turned to the boy, who was peeling a cucumber, and said: "Now, what kind of a circus have you been having, and what do you mean hy destroying wine that wey, and where are your folksf* " W ell, Ul tell you, Ma she has got the hay fever and has gone to Lake Su perior to see if she can't stop sneezing, and Saturday Pa said he and me would go out to Ocon Tiowoo and stay over Sunday and try and recuperate our health. Pa Bald it would be a coed joke for me not to call him Pa, but to act as though I was his younger brother, and we would have a real nice time. "I Imo wed what he wanted. He is an old masher, that's what's the matter with bim, and he was going to play himself for a bachelor. Oh, thunder, I got onto his racket in a minute. He was in troduced to some of the girls, and Satur day evening he danced till the cows come home. At home he is awful'fradd of rheumatic, and he never sweats or site in a draft, but the water just poured off n Mm| and he stood in the door and let a girl fan him till I was afraid he would freeze, and jost as he was tolling a giri from Tennessee, who was joking him about being a nold bach, that he was not sure as he could always hold out a woman hater if he was to be thrown into contact with the channing ladies of the sunny" south I pulled his coat and said: 'Pa, bow do you s'pose Ma's hay fever ls tonight? m bet she is just sneezing the top of her head off.' Wall, sir, you just oughten seen that girl and Pa. Pa looked at me as pf I was a total stranger and told the porter if that freckled faced bootblack belonged around the house he had better be fired out of the ballroom, and the girl said the disgua tin thing, and just before they fired me I told Pa he had better look out or he would sweat through his liver pad. "I went to bed, and Pa staid up till the lights went out. He was mad when he went to bed, but he didn't lick me 'cause the people in the next room would hear him, but the next morning he talked to me. He said J might go back home Sun day night, and he would stay a day or two. He sat around on the veranda all the afternoon talking with the girls, and hen he would see me coming along he .. auld look cross. He took a girl ont boat riding, and when I asked him if I couldn't go along he said he was afraid 1 would get drowned, and he said if I went home there was nothing there too good for me, and so my chum and me got to firing bottles of champagne, and he hit me in the eye with a cork, and I drove him out doors and was just going to shell his earthworks when tho police man collared me. Say, what's good for a black eye?" The grocery man told him his Pa would cure it when he got home. "What do von think your Pa's object was in pass ing himself off for a single man at Oco nomowoc," asked the grocery man as he charged up ! "?e cucumber to the boy's fa ther. ' 'That's what beats me. Oh, I suppose he does it for his health, the way they all do when they go to a summer resort, but it leaves a boy. an orphan, don't it, to have such kitteny parents." 's Tablets. taz OHIO CREUICAI. CO.: DKAK SIR:-1 luve bc>ii urdrig your for tobacco hut,it, mid fonnd it would at voa claim for lt. I usc ] tcu conti ?f Uio strongest cbcwliig tobacco u day, one to fl ve cigars; ur 1 wo?:ld smoko i forty of tobacco. Havo chewed Mr twenty-?ve yearn, and tv o packages cured me so I hove notlonr?- for lt. n.M. JAY LOUD, Ladle, Mien. OoiiBS FKBRY. N. Y. 0.:-GRXTLRURX:-Some time juro 1 sent Tablots for Tobacco Habit. 1 received 11 was bulb a heavy smoker and chewer, a throe i!:iys. 1 ma cured. 8, MATHEW JOHNSON, P. O. BOX 43. PITTSBURGH, PA. ray:-It {rives me pleasure to speak a HOU wi.- i-rrongly addicted to the usoof otry vj ... Tublttt*. He was :t heavy and 'ablet.- l u: three days ho quit drinking, vc waited four month before writing* t. Yours truly, MRS. II Ii LE S MORRISON. '. 'i.vciNNATi, OHIO. ts have performed a miracle In m y case. ?ra, ona have been ourod by the ns? of my part. W. L. LOTSOAT. MICAL CO., era Block. LIMA? OHIO. E For the next Thirty Days We Offer Special Prices in our Job Department. Give us a Trial. Satisfaction Guaranteed. Estimates furnished on Application. All Work in the Latest Styles.