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I "? I 9 TILE llOUUY N KW'S, r i'LUUfclllSl) liVcrv Saturday Horn in:;. T W. BE AT Y, Editor. I l ltMS : ON j". Yisai?, fr'2.00 ^ Si\ Months, #1.00 All eomnt ii nintfiotiM tciHllitfc to sorvo l?i'i\ato intrri?i|, will ?>? ckargi'd lor us it'll Cl'l iN4>tll?'ll I s. W,J/ \ TIIE FAVORITE HOME REMEDY. This unrivalled Medici no is warranted nut to contain a single particle of Mercury or any njurious mineral substance but is n ufl : I V V 1.4* ET A RTiE, containing those Southern Hoots and Herbs, which an allwiso l'rovidenco has placed in rouiitiii's where I.iver Diseases most prevail, ll will cure all Diseases caused by Derangement of the Liver and bowels. Simmons' Liver Regulator, or Medicine is eminently a Family Medicine,?and by being kept ready for immediate resort will save man\ hour of suffering an>Vg>-'ny a dollar in time and doctors' bills. Alter over Forty Vears' trial it is still receiving the most uuipialihed testimonials to its virtues from persons of the highest character and responsibility. Eminent physicans commend it as the most EFFECTUAL SPECIFC For Dyspepsia or Indigestion. Armed w?th this AXTIDOTE, all climates and changes of water and food may be faced without, fear. As a Remedy in Mai.akiol's Fk* !. I ?v. | !. wt i i / 'o\i in \ i\- f o 1 ' i.m'i'l I M ' 1) 1^14 V/W.MI J "'i I 1 IjO X i J J\00?> liOCj .) AlM'il K, X AH SKA, IT HAS no EQUAL. It is the (. heapesl ami llost Family Medicine in the World ! 4 MAM KAdUUl.ia ONf.Y 1JY i. ti. zklin x ?oM M VtV>N, (J Aand PHILADELPHIA Price, $1 .'ML. Sold l>y all Druggist. bin LONDON DOCK GIN. Kspooiiilly designed,for the use of Hip. Mullen! VrnfrxMion ami the Family, possessing those inlriiixic medicinal properties which belong to an Old and I'nn Gin. lii'M .poiunble to females, Good for Kidney Comjil<(1uls. A delicious Tonic, Put tip in eases eont aiuing one do/.en bottles eaeh, and >M by all druggists grocers, ?Ve, A. M. Mitiiuger A established 177^. No. 15 lieavcr Street, New York. V 1 CK\S FLOltAL GUIDE For 1874. 200 PAGES; 500 ENGRAVINGS, and en. cim-'n im.atp mi?. X/v- A M S A ? *. A 4, I UI'MOIIl U 11(11 .V I I > j at 25 Cents a Year. First No. for 1S74 just ssned. A German edition at same price. Address, .1 AilKS ViCK, Rochester, N. \ . l)cc. 2d,?tf. * " T ii li ?MMB mil n ) ii HQ? i i n Us MH?MIM?1 ' Our Seventy Page Illustrated Catalogue of Doors, Bashes. Blinds Sta?r Rails, Newels, -Fancy Class. &c, Mailed to any one interested in building on receipt of stamp. Ki 15 O U IS A T !! O 85 i\r 15, 2a 1 and 250 Canal Street New Ygrk. MILLER'S A I.MANAC For the Year 1874 PUftMSIlKl) FOK IIOHI {V COUNTY. "Ijlor sale at 10 cents each by J J M. R II EAT Y | Dee 9 187-1 "TO-DAY," ~ thepeople'sillustrated paper * Iti.s a thoroughly American enterprise, uius tinted by the loading artist and teeming with the best efforts of the most able writers of our com.try. Jt is a paper that, once introduced on the family circle, is sure to be eagerly watched lor and carefully preserved. The voice of ? TIIllBE OF THE MOST JJEAUTIFUL fil It O 11 O IS over Issued Is given to each subscriber, viz ".Just So Jltojt" and SI'Xjsiiin'k,': two beautiful Child Pictures, hy Mrs Andkj; son, and "Amonu tiik I>t:wi)i:ors," a beauti ful land'Hajx) in water-color by tluncelebrated UlltKKT FoMTJtll. All our agents lia\e eppies of each, and are prepared to dolivoi them together with a Subscription ( eititic.de signed by the publishers, at the lime the money is paid. Agents w anted everyw here, and liberal inducements ollered. Sample copies widi full particulars and descriptions of the Chromos, sent on r?3' ceipt of six cents. Only two dollar* and a halt' a year. ADJJitKSS, [ Tc-Day Piinting U Publishing Cc., i i "."3 .Sir.isOih St., Phfladotyhia, 1 IToadwny. N, V. 3 School St., Boston 113,110 Ci i 17 12. Madison St, Chicago, i *?? * i i twmrn ? J?? ? '? I? i i i ?. mm* mr*rn VOL. (>. CO IS From tlus Kalui li ( it'se^nl. Autobiography ol a C\?tt<>?? Halo. IN 'I WO CIIAITKKS. t'll AI'TKK I. I was raised in Wake county, North Carolina, l>y a farmer ot moderate means. At an early age, I learned ' from a conversation between the farmer and a neighbor that i and the land on which I was raised were mort. gaged to a Baltimore firm, who had j furnished fertilizers for the soil, and i also to ft Raleigh merchant who had sold supplies of Western bacon and corn for the support of the field hands, and Northern hay and oats for the mules. The iarmor complained thai necessity had forced him to pay a very high interest for the use of the capital invested in the above mentioned fertilizers and farm supplies, and that j he had in addition to nav a heaw lbc I A / * J for drawing and recording llio mortgage securing tlie commission mercliants. 1 noticed that tho mules on tho farm wore poorly led, and that as they passed the lot gate they eagcily nipped a few bunches of luxuriant clover which had sprung up from seeds dropped out ol the Northern oats. The farmer said, as the mules passed on T would sow an acre in clover, hut 1 need all my best land tor cotton.* I have nothing very remarkable to tell you concerning my youthful day*. I observed that tho hands employed in tho field were poorly clad. Most of them wore coarse cheap N orthern made clothes, shoes and hats, and from their rude talk I found that they had very little education. The wives and children of these farm laborers frequently came to the field, aud I saw that the women wore Northern calico dresses and that the children were growing up in ignorance. After being picked and packed 1 was taken to Ilaleigh. The commission merchant said to the farmer: "Cotton is flat to-day, but we expect it will go up soon.' The fanner sighed and remarked: 'Well.' I guess 1 went into a large new brick store, and accidentally heard tho merchant my to the clerk: 'Insure Ibis hale of cotton and charge Mr. A. with insurance and storage.' 1 remained shut up for some tiiue, when the fanner came in one day and the merchant b;ii?I to him: 'Cotton is no better, but I utn compelled to have Home money. I will aliip your bale to Ihiltiruore and do the best I can with it.' A dray soon camo up, and an I was hoisted into it, the merchant said: 'Have this bah; insured and directed to \V. & \V., JJaltiinorc. They will pay the freight and insurance.' I was hurried over the railroad to Norfolk and thence by steamer to Baltimore. I was then stored for some time, when I was sold to an agent of a Rhode Island manufacturer. As I passed out I heard the merchant calculating how much was due him as i storage and commission on my sale. My purchaser was only busy in getting out his insurance on me and arranging to pay freight on mo to Rhode Island. Nothing occurred on the route to n\v destination worthy of remark. When I arrived at the factory, 1 found several thousand friends raised in North Carolina. I noticed the women and children seemed cheerful, hut none of them wore Southern made shoes or Southern made clothes, orate Southern bacon. The dray horses were well kept, hut did not eat Southern hay or oats. The owner of the factory, they said, was very rich, and had made his fortune manufacturing cotton cloth for the New York market. I was hurried through the factory S\ ?> i I n ?V% A A1* ft 1^/?1 I A f A A ? ? * * 1 1 diiu tiiNiu wut 4% uuiu ui iiiuu, rSillUulii cloth. I was hurried into a bale of cloth for a new Nork wholesale house, and as I wont out overheard a eonver; sation of the owner of the mill. JIo i said he was realizing handsome profits ; from his factory, an J besides he was giving employment to a hundred families, and was one of the largest taxpayers in the State. 1 then went to Now York to the establishment of one of the merchant i princes, and was delighted to hoar him say to a clerk, 'Send this bale to m w??i ? 11 ii? ./v ? run X.?& jf. u\ n l nclo} )on iWAY!>OR(), S. C., SA Messrs. Tucker, KalciLrh.' As I had passed over the routo Ik;- ! I'oro it. was not new to me and I ai lived safely in Kalei^h in less than a week. l?y elntice I was put on the j hoUont of a luroe nile. of cloth, and j having nothing else to do, I entered ; into :i little calculation. It. was us follows: 1 have changed hands often. First the Kaleigh merchant realized his profit and storage. Then the insur- | ance agent. Then the railroads got their freights. Then the steamers got their freights. Then the llaltinioro nierehant got liis storage and commissions. Then the Northern insurance agent got his percent. Then the manufacturer got his profits. The New York wholesale merchant got his per cent. Then the lailroads aih! steamers got their return freight, and tininsurance man got another per cent. Messrs. Tucker must have a per cent, and Here a clerk reached down ami pulled mo out with a jerk, and lo and | toehold! my old master, the man who raised me, said lie would take me, that he "wanted some narrard homespun," and I was bundled, and am now at my old home in Wake, expecting shortly to toe out up. CIIAl'TBlt II. I believe when Mr. Tucker's clerk broke the thread of my discourse, I was making a calculation. 1 had told how the following ocrsons ii-idi/i-d * - - - 0 I - - ? profits on inc: 1. The lialeigh Cotton Factor. 2. The Uailroads and Steam lines, 'i ho Insurance .Agents. 1. The Haltimoro Merchant. 5. Tlio Northern Uailroads. 0. The Northern Insurance Companies. 7. The Manufacturer. 8. The wholesale Merchant. 0. The Uailroads on return freight. 10. The insurance men on return risks. 1 I. The retail dealer. These parties all show a. <1 op interest in me, and I wi-d, to say ' entertain no unkind feelings toward any of them. The profits they realized from. I me were legitimate, and propt-r. Hut I feel very kindly for the man who raised me, and when I considered that lie paid all those accumulated profits, j added to the original cost, i did not wonder that lie dressed pooily and was haul pressed to support iiis family. I have travelled around and lislen| ed to calculating men talk, ami I intend to whisper a word to him through the Crescent. What I want to say is: liaise your own hogs. Don't buy Western bacon at a high pi ice when cotton is liable to lie at a low price! Sow an acre or two of clover. It will save corn and enable you to lee 1 your teams better, and will cost you less than Northern oats and hay. It will enable yon to feed your cows better, and they will give more and better milk. Your calve?; will grow larger and make finer cattle. Raise your own corn and wheat. Don't plant all cotton. If your land is poor, sow peas and improve it. Save aU your barnyard manure, compost your vegetable mould, and don't buy worthless fertilizers. And when I get through whispering to the famer, I want to say a word to capitalists. Cotton must bo raised iu the South. There will always be a demand for! the manufactured article. We have waterpowers iu abundance. If Northern manufacturers can pay transportation and insurance on the raw materia!, and manufacture it on the frozen streams of New England, and realize handsome profits, why cannot the Southern manufacturer, who can purchase it at his door without freight and nsuranco charges, compete successfully with the Northern manufacturer? Our waterpowers are as good; streams are seldom frozen; our climate is better; wo can work more days in the year; labor can bo had as cheap, lie aides making large profits on the capital invested, you will give employment to our uoor women and children, A / and the cost of manufacturing instead of enriching men a thousand miles away, will be spent, with our own merchants and tradesmen, and thus improve tho condition of our own State. ' 0 * !. >f,* l?* ? ?? ? Al ~1V ~T" I , 1 IN IN ii k? w -? m ! r -irrr i * i^i in r nr rw i n ? i a1ouc cToiirual. Tilt DA Y, A I'D I-ST 1 I do not wish to bo misunderstood. I do not desire North Carolinians to invest their oaj ;tal in lactonesIm-owim? I entertain any unkind feeling toi Northern people. 1 have had enough of sectionalism. 1 was oneo known as King Cotton, htit, my crown it' not entirely ruined, is badly damaged be sectional vlinU ullio^. I only inrii- | tinned the North because most of our staple is manufactured there. I wish to sou nil our people, North and Sout h, prosper, hut I ran sen nothing like prosperity for the South ? (or North Carolina?until hrr people Irani to j raise their own food, manufacture t li ir . own staple, and rive employment to i their own meehahies. fact far runners. If you invest money in tools and leave them ex posed to the we ?t her, it ts the same as loaning moiu.'y to a : spen Uhrilt without seeiuily-?a dead , loss in both east s. Ii you invest money in hooks and never read them, if is the same as pultun; your money into a hank and never drawing either the principal or interest. Il you in vest money in line stock and do not feed and protect lliem and ! properly rare for tliein, it is the same as dressing your wile in sdk to do kitclum work. If V nil tlll'MkO 1 * lM I 1 IIW. ...... Ii. I"-",... ? V/>| Hi ? VPK > 'Mil lllUIM. y 111 ' IMM.ll' I ? ' tnulft and do nol guard and give them i a chance i<> grow ami prove their valuo, it is the same as putting a good hand in the lie Id witli poor tools to work with. It' you invest, your money in a good farm and do not cultivate it well, it is the same as marrying a good wild and j so enslaving ami abusing her as to ctusli her energies and break her heart. ! If you invest your money in a line I house and d<? not cultivate your mind and taste so as to adorn it with intel- ' ligcnoo and relineinent, it is as it you were to wear broadcloth and a silk hat to the mill. If you invest your money in line clothes and do not wear them with dignity and ease, it is as if a ploughman were to sit at a jeweler's tahle to make and adjust hairsprings. If you invest money in strong drink, it is the same as turning hungry hogs into a corn held?ruin will follow in both cases. If you invest your money in every new wonder that flaming circulais! proclaim, it is the same aft buying tickets at a lottery ollice where there are ten blanks to one prize. If you invest your money in the last novel it is the same as employing a tailor's dandy to dig potatoes. ? ? Vfc* ? ??- ?? Address o! I!.. Kcpwidican Slate. Ilxceutivc Committee to the people, IIkaihji.'AUTKKS Uniom Ukimih. I"ty. ) 1 too.ms Static IOx icon rivn (Jom., > Coi.UiMiUA, S. (J., July 22, 1S7 1. ) '/\> the hepublia/u Voters of the Slutc: Fki,i,ow-(.ti'I/,uns?The time will soon come when you will he called upon, in the exercise of tie; elective franchise, to express your choice in the selection of olliccrs who shall admina.t. .. i... ..? ?-* ' ini,vi in' vv i ii11ii'111 HI uur oimc 1411riiig the next two years. in issuing tin! call for the con vocation oi tin; State Convention of our parly, I lie executive committee doom it proper tliat tliey should state the views with wlfio.li they are impressed as to the condition of public a flail's in our State,' and invoke your patriotism in scouring to South Carolina good govern incut and peaceful administration. It is neither our intention to select individuals tor censure, nor to unjustly and unfairly vdisci iminatc between fJiosc wiio, in%any depaitment ol our I government, have rendered themselves amenable to just criticism. That the pledges given to the people in our party platform of 1872 have not been fully redeemed, and that, in many instances, sound policy has boon discarded and reckless extravagance manifested, we cannot deny. What causes have led to our present condition may not be herein discussed. It is sullicient that we should all recognize the fact that our government needs Reform?thorough Kclorm and purification. The attention of the country has been called to South Carolina; the American people demand that malad ministration shall cease and good government be at once inaugurated; the National Republican party admonishes us to at once retrace our steps, and vindicate,, by our action, the integrity of Republicanism; while the National Govetnmeni inMivtn 11? ?t ..nnii-i tion for past errors cannot bo considered unless accompanied by ibo selection ot public ollicers whose characters will bo a guaranty of elevated and enlightened statesmanship in tlu future. The cxecutivo committee I woulc make no race distinctions; but it can not longer be denied, and it would b< criminal longer to withhold tho facts that the present condition of afiaii? i? 1 Vj:* * ?V" % / ik / V k ;j? : * LIST I. N<>.:;]. irv>^*r inriwir^n.iji.. i-?*?*? - - ?. .u ? v our St ito U in v<l?' cliur^ouljlo to the colore* I r;iee, who represent not onlv ? the /ror\t hulk of Kepuhliertns litre, - lull who eonslitute tho inaj rily ol citi '.(Mis. The dut> :iiul responsibility i of redeeming tho Slnto Irom ol>lo<|uy i and disgrace, of ru^lnvinj* tho publi i eonluleneo, of building up her credit t j\1111 of s.'ix ir.^j lior Irom utter and emn , plelo annihilation, rest ) oeuliarly upon | the shoulders of t hat I his d <1 ' j they cannot evade -this ri sponsihility < they cannot escape. ; Kellow Ki-puhli'Miis of every race? ami ol tin* col >red r.i m more partieu- ; larly ?we appeal to you t?> aid us in | every honest ello.-t to redeem our part v pledges, and t vindicate the wisdom , of that betielieient poliey which transiorined l,oon,noo of Imni in beings 1 roin t lie eondiii<u> ol eh iHe! slaves to j llie proud position of American live- i men, and lias made the rights of ail citizens nat ional rather than sectional. W e solemnly invoke yon loriso to the : lull height of your responsibilities. W e implore you to send to our Slate, i ('onyp'essioiial and county conventions your best men?men ol patriotism and j intelligence? men who art, justly be- i cause they love the ri*_c*11.. \\ e woul I ask you to corvee;, the mils that may exist, through your party organiz ition. Charge not upon the I 'cpuldiran party the nets of those officio's who mav luive proved lait hbxss to the principals of that threat, patty, as well as to you. ' That the mission of the party is not :\eeoitplishe<l, listen, lellow-ciiiz< us, to tho I'nion Republican Congressional ('ommilleo in their address to the people of t ho I 'nite?l States: "It is sonu times said that, the mission oi' the. 1 %epuhlie:iii party is accomplished. it by that, no more is meant than that, the patty lias dischar'god every trust heretofore commit ted to it, I we admit it. It lias I> * n t bought that, when otto was lound l.iitiilul over a few things thai was a good reason for trustin*/ him with more thinvs. ('an you do better than be; instrunted by such an example? Imperially since j on must employ either the party which you say has Unbilled every trust, or cmploy only that other parly which has betrayed every trust. "The occasion lor political ellbrt has not passed. American progress is not ended. Other labors lie before you, higher, perhaps, but not light. "I. You have to see that what is done shall not be undone. Republicanism others you tho- best security I an;.tinst, retrogression. I "2. Von .have lo s"c that tho work | of reform goes forward. l liree threat | labors demand )our presc.nt consideration. "Tho fourteenth amendment to the constitution is not yet enlorced by 'appropriate legislation.' Millions of American citizens are denied even the common law rights of locommotion because they are black. 11 such wrong's are to be ivdn-sx d, t he Republican party alone can do it," In conclusion, fellow-citizens, in the language of that committee, "if you cherish the deeds ol the recent past, | and would not see them undone; if you respect the present, and would not disgrace it; or, it you have hope J of the Iut,tire, and would realize that j hope," we urge you to to send to your ! | conventions, and place in iik* public I ollie.es, none I)iii intelligent, patriotic, unselfish and true ami tried lfepublioans. K e! y l n \vill) eonlidene.o upon your devotion Lo \!?< prin i|?I<?h ol oiii parly, and above and hcyound all, lirinly believing, as we do, that you lore your Stale, wo look to you lor the redemp lion ol our Commonwealth. 1 We are, respectfully, your obedient servsuts and lellow-eit i/.ens, 1 {okkut 1>. i'a.i.iorr, President, .1. U. N n.\'; r.K, V ice-President, w. ij. nami, II. (?. \\ oiM'i11 \<; ic.v, I I. \V. .M. .M \< Ki:v, <\ I). IIavnk, ('. 1). M KI.ton, \\ 11.SON i O'.K , I. I*' IC.VHOH, m, ii. dui.anv, .1. 11. 1 v'l a n k v. Tile Italian P prising. Cimwoo, July 21. A telegram has been received at Sheridan's headquarters from Lieut. Olmstead in Wyoming Territory, dated July lGtii, .announcing the defeat ol the Arrnpahoi u by Capt. I>ate. Theniy-live Indians were killed The loss of the troops was small. The Comanches arc on the war path, an 1 have had several bloody engagements with the United States soldiers. f)ld Indian traders predict a general uprising. The barbarites ol the Indians seem unrestrained, and great alarm is felt 11: the wliolo liidia:i 1 erntory. \Vrasnimf;tov, .fuly 21. The secretary of war has ordered that the army pursue and punish the guilty Indians wherever found, even 3 going 'upon the reservations, though care is to be taken to prevent striking I tho innocent Indians. ??????? ?m - ? ? Woman snllVago, it is said, is sup> ported bv three distinguished bishops , o! tho Methodist Kpiscopa! Church. for Hrst .tiiiI ,r , < ? ?.?* tvii (. |, |, vi'li. < '|Mriit litj**:liw i. Olir ii?li , . v ill coliHi iiui'* t h vh< tii< i !ii 1)|.' i or 'lispl.iy type: l<M?t i?iin ui nidi w. i i?< >'ii.ir ?'?i tor aa a e. Mari ia^o no; i< c < f. Deaths tin) J ii. 'I not lees troo. , Ohifu.it i", !.(' Hi m nar? fie??; , vr on<i llftre cli i ?' !! it t rail's.^ ?, *. iU'liirous not). </s of one snnaro tV?*e. A liberal illnootlitl will ?hj iijiuie lo vhose advertisements mo ui 'a; k> |> in lor erin of three months or longer. Mich.irt I.i ihv, who recently oradnitC'iI at llui I'itttsliold (Mass.) ii rh schtrril at (he n ? of twont v-oiii' venrs, >l?iallied his e<! icatioii under d'th> tildes. When i child playing on the ailrond Hack, he was run over !>y a .lain, nitil it. was noet ssary to eiup tato l???th arms mo cloflo to the hoiiller that no |eroeplihlo stump-. i'd oft. Never!heless, he has per*er- 01 . d a liis s! mlii'Sj has not been :ih-.i nt <?,' lardy ome in his lour years' eouix at LI?? llieh Sehonl, and h is I r >111c :t uolioi ni in i'ic h r; v 111 11 there t:c. I rf ii i niiio the h-aves of his laiok w i Ii is tniiioii'. He has also aeijni1 i verv l< '.'ihlo and even handsome - ' \ .< ?f penmanship, with his month. The new vork Tribune says <?t t s ll"j>uh!iean t onoressional I en hi re's a Idiess: <;\\ hat I.as the r j? i'di an parly !<> 'dVer us lor the lutuiv? The old issues .ne closed. The war iiu! its eoi:se<juetiees are irrevocable, I lie work uhii'h llu> 1 !..i .ni >. * " " I"' ""1 " i 11i'>ii w;i- made for has boon honor ihly (hushed. In spile of 111? simile < t the faithful sorv.n t. with which the ad in ss n|i( us, ev< i'v politician knows that parties cannot live upon ancient history." A ,M vsjTki:y.--Last Sunday, a little hcjore twivc o'clock M., :t number ot persons were attracted bv the hovering ot large numbers of buzzard* over Hawkins's liehl, i ear tin; Six Mile I I ouse, and were induced to examine into the eause. On reaching t le.- sj . >t t !iey found the body ol a white man, considerably decomposed. From papers on bis person his name was found to be John Hawkins, of North ( arolina, in search of employment. The cause of his death is a mystery, as no wounds appeared on the laxly. The coroner held an iiupiest on .Sunday last, but adjourned, without a verdict, to meet attain on .Sunday next. The intermediate time will be used in collecting all possible information in regard to t ie allair.? \> tea ami < onvi< r More A bout Scolding. "/mm the Christian Observer. /!/<:, Mrs. J'Alitors --1 am rejoiced that you have pcriuiltcd the subject <>{ scolding to bo discussed. I believe in scolding. 1 have a right to know about it, for 1 am blessed with a scolding wife. She begins at 5 a. m. in the summer, and at 0:50 in the winter, and keeps it up all day, except win n ,te are at our family worship. While t he exercises last she is as mute as a mouse, but 1 can see t hat she is ready to burst near the close, and Lite momci.it ail? r the amen alio begins. At 1 Teak last alio is tcrtiblo. She abuses Jin; il llii! beet is *.?>nh, and il tho entire is thick with old grounds ami watery, alio calls tho conk and dlosses her, i. t'.jshe gives her u tongue f 1 ashing. I am studious, and alter breakfast uniformly repair to tny study, wliioh is in the church, shout half a nolo away. As I leave the house I receive a blessing, and as I close; tin- gate J can hear Iter beginning on tny son fjyrns. Iia? j porting to come homo one morning, [ having beam notified that the dinner was to bo early, 1 found Iter with ail our seven in th nursery, and my oats were gieeled with the following ad-' dress to tho flock: "You mean, lowlived, ill begotten scullions, you beggar brats, you misotal'lo abortions of an abstract idea." Here it struck nto that dinner was not. wady, and 1 bad better return to tny study. It was too latt ! She saw um (ioV/7). "llulio, I .lones, (suite in! *i on arc eoitt to steal | off, arc you? <)h, ,lones! you have a j heap <u business at thatstudy ofyours. 1 I low am 1 to take earn of your children?'* (J may remark, en j>ussnnt^ that I do ipend a good deal ol time m lIt it study. Solitude on some accounts f prefer.) Furiously Iter tongue Weill, the baby took tocrving, she spanked our second, Mi I beh re you could ttuv .lack Kohciismi, looked out of the window and blackguarded (I beg patdoii, scolded) tbo'cook for not ltavn g tho dinner ready, then "mounted" M.o children, and returned to me, all n fifteen minutes by the clock. Oli, isu t ' it smart' I I believe strongly in a scold in" w.? i man. 1 'ho dear voice is l;ke a lilt? ! upon a saw. I?hark! "Jupoh, am i you going to vet up all night? Wh it I ire you do!tig.'" Messrs. Editors, I will not takemp any more of your valuable space. In great baste, yours, I'ktru Jo.vus, 1 ). I >. 11:15 r. m., .1 tine 2b. P. S.? It you can't road after th? wor?I hark clearly, you svill ku??w ti > roast n, haste. Scene in a Cincinnati Court pueir * \ assault upon a housekeeper) ul> ! she ever ask you to marry her?" ? 'What did you say?' 'I tohl her to j wait until her teetli had grown.* , 'What did she say then?' 'Nothing.* 'What did she do?' 'Went down town and bought a new set of teeth.* Case dismissed. ?.. i . ??' ? Ah Shoo and Ah Mum are San Kr.ineiseo panders.