University of South Carolina Libraries
>. ' - , Hood's Sarsaparilla j Has made itself welcome in the homes of the people the : world over, by its wonderful j cures of all blood diseases and run-down conditions. Get it today in usual liquid form or chocolated tablets known as Sarsatabs. ? ?? Greenwich Village. j We hope that the extent of emi- i gratlon rrom ureenwicn nas ueen , overstated. It is hard to believe that j O Greenwicher would want to leave j i that most favored district of Manhat- : tan. It has a thousand attractions all ' i its own. There of pleasant evenings j people sit upon their own front j | Coops engaged in neighborly gossip, j | sometimes bursting into song; there the tenement has not shouldered out j private dwellings, there youths dote ( upon the fun of perplexing visiting cousins by showing them where two 1 parallel streets, Tenth and Fourth, . cross; there in ancient taverns yet ( < ; faintly linger echoes of an earlier and less vexed day when sturdy smug- 3 glers landed brandy, tobacco and j silks from low, rakish craft anchored ^ In the North River. In Greenwich J village English is spoken, heads of 'families wearing silk hats lead their i J t households to church on Sundays, fe- | ; ' male servants and hired girls, ma- j trons make afternoon calls wearing rx ' black silk gowns and many other evi- | dences of American simple life may J be- noted by the admiring stroller j J ^ through the quiet streets. ? New j W- WOMEN'S ILLS. " $... ?'*, ' Many women who suffer with backache, bearing-down pain, headaches v and nervousness do not know that "***? these ailments are k^ .- usually due to stoa." trouble. with the '. more the cause.'' son St., East Buf... fl gg , ' .^'For . several 1 IB years 1 liar! se, ygre hcadaches fj and was so dfezy I feared to 50 out. I r X" lost thirty pounds in weight and for a whole year could not do my housework. After doctoring and usi,ng dlffeijant remedies without help, TDoan's j*. Kidney Pills brought relief and finally *-?: a cure." v Remember the name?Doan's. For - sale by all dealers. 50 cents a box. t-' Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. * '. - Rather Previous. j "! Mayor iVons, of Mobile, said in a P^k;? recent' interview s k4;-V ' '1 cannc<: pronounce judgment &on this occasion yet. Do you take ' me for Judge Taliaferro?" "Judge Taliaferro," the Mayor ex< /;' v*" plained with a smile, "was holding : court back before the war in the little court house at Citronelle. It was v*- x " a cloudy spring-afternoon and a very difficult and puzzling case was on. The lawyers wrangled, quoted from great law books and broke into grand flights 'of eloquence, while Judge t Taliaferro listened solemnly or gazed k *out of the window at the approaching J0zy 4?\ storm. "It grew darker. The Judge snatched a sheet of paper, scribbled . a line or two upon it and placing it beneath a paper weight took up his j hat. " 'Colonel,' he said briskly to the lawyer who had the floor, 'excuse me fn' iTit.?rnintin' vnh sah: and T want, i that you should go right on with yo' Argument, fo' it's a darned good one. But it's suah goin' to rain this evenIn', Colonel, an' I just natcherly got to set out my sweet potatoes right away. But you go right on, Colonel, an', Majah, you follow him up; an' when you two gentlemen get through you'll find my lecision under this heah weight.' 1 "And the Judge disappeared < through the door before the laweyrs 1 had time to exchange one astonished i glance."?Detroit Free Press. 1 ] The Story of Four Uncles. 1 "I have four uncles," writes a cor- < respondent, "who are all widowers. ! | Uncle Sam and his wife used to fight, ! Uncle Tom was always flirting with i ! other women, and Uncle Joe was i ruined by his wife's extravagance. Uncle Martin alone loved his wife, and when she died he was brokenhearted. Still, he is the only one who married again. He married a girl who has all the qualities he used to proudly boast his wife lacked. Men are funny, and grow funnier as you know them better."?Atchison Globe. ???????????????? i What Thinking Takes Out ; Of the brain, and activity j ; out of the body, must be Put Back by Proper Food Or brain-fag * and nervous j ii prostration are sure to follow. , If you'want to knowTtne | keenest joy on earth?the joy i that, comes with being well, try Grape=Nuts 1 Food j "There's a Reason'/ #. | POSTUM CEREAL CCCLtil.7; Battle Creek. Mich.'' : PARADISE UNGAINED. The world's too much with me! Though I would fain withdraw mysalf To sylvan grove like timid elf, Or lodge in some vast wilderness. In everglade where men ne'er press _ cannot hidden be! Too much perhaps I try! I bid the world in trumpet tone Be calm, begone! Leave me alone! With powers of might I wrangle loud That 1 may not arouse the crowd, Attract its loathsome eye I I long to be unknown! Subdued beneath my cloak of gold. Announced by bell, by trumpet bold, The herald's din proclaiming me, I seek, with violet's modesty, 1 Io be unseen?alone! -Edward W. Townsend, in New York , Sun. 1 , faHSHSaSH5ESaSESH5H5HSaSHSo] ' ^ THE ULTIMATUM. ffi I ^ ' By ANNA YORKE. yj \SE5HSH5HSH5HSESHSHS2SH!? Robert Wendall laid a kindly hand an Shirley's shoulder. "I have tried my best,Miss Thomas, but at present I cannot find an opening such as I desire for you. Of :ourse I haven't given up hope of ultimately discovering one, but in the meantime you and your mother have to live. Now, Paul Grandison, of the Empire, told me this morning that he needs another soprano in his chorus, and I thought perhaps?you?" he 1 hesitated. ( Shirley's eyes opened wide in con- 1 3ternation. k<"0h, Mr. Wendall, I could never 3o it," she exclaimed with a sharp Intake of breath. "A chorus girl! Why, mother would die if she thought t had to support her that way." She turned her head away to hide the tears which she felt were imminent. "But. Miss Thomas, there is really no other way. The salary, $25 a iveek, will, I am sure, mean many :omforts for you and your mother svhich your small income from the ;state does not at present permit you :o enjoy. And, as I said, it will only be for a comparatively short time, as [ mean to work hard to place you where your voice warrants your being placed. Besides, you will not have :o know any of the others you do not :are to know. Your mother will still je free, in my estimation, to cherish ler family traditions, and, really, :here is no reason why you should jonsider yourself a discredit to those :raditions if you consent to sing at ?te Empire." He spoke persuasively, )ut the tenets of a Puritan ancestry vere too deeply rooted in Shirley's nind to permit of an unrebelling ac 1 - OU - luiesceuue. cue suuu& uei ucau. "No, it is impossible. Even if I ihould contemplate it, mother would lever let me do it." She turned to lim impulsively. "Please do not hink me ungrateful, Mr. Wendall. ifou understand?don't you?" He took her outstretched hand, imiling whimsically as he noted its ininess. "My dear little friend," he said to her. Then?"As a favor I tm going to ask you to give this mater a little thought to-night, and to :ome to me to-morrow with your de:ision. Surely," he went on, "you enow that I would not advise you to lo what I did not consider was best? 3lease promise me that you will con:ider it." Shirley met his earnest gaze, then ier own faltered a little and. she tried lard to choke back the lump which lad risen in her throat. After a vhile, "I promise" she half whiskered, and was gone. When she reached home she went lp to her room feeling that she could lot hear just then her mother's inevitable, "What did Mr. Wendall aave to say, dear?" and racking her arains to invent an answer that would ] lot bring pain to the one she loved i Dest in the world. Bitterly she < :hought of the discomforts her moth- ( 5r, who was an invalid, had been 1 :ompelled by their poverty to endure. 1 For herself Shirley cared little, know- : ing that she was young and strong md of a buoyant temperament. Yet ] :he knowledge of Robert Wendall's < failure, even though he had assured < her it was a temporary one, to se- 1 jure a suitable engagement for her, ; fciad come as a crushing disappoint- < ment. For years, when their income < bad been sufficient to warrant it, she had trained her .voice, one which her Instructors had told her was of exceptional quality. At first their praise had meant nothing to' her, but when, two years before, the crash had come which had left them poor, slie Had clung to tne tnougni or ner voice as their only salvation. With It she would retrieve their little fortune, she had told herself happily, and the dear mother would not have to suffer hardship for long when she was so well fitted to care for her. Mrs. Thomas had demurred even at the idea of Shirley singing in opera, but she had been finally won over by Mr. Wendall's eloquence and Shirley's coaxing. Shirley remembered with mixed feelings the day the gentle lady, herself as rigid in her ideas as her great-grandmother was reputed to have been, had capitulated, and how, when Shirley had painted her future so glowingly, she had at last become almost enthusiastic in her shy way. And now came this other proposition, and a Thomas was to be a chorus girl. Shirley shuddered involuntarily at the thought of the blow it would be to her loved one. And yet, as Mr. Wendall had told her, it was the only way, the one courageous thing to do. A cough disturbed her reflections, and running downstairs, Shirley entered the darkened par'jr, where her mother lay on a "such. Kneeling be side her, she took one of the thin, white hands '.n her own shaply ones. In the dimness her mother seemed more frail than usual to the girl, and the delicately chiselled features had a pinched look which had never been apparent to her before. At cnce came the question, asked in the softest and most musical of voices, and Shirley was not prepared with her answer. In that moment lier mind worked more rapidly than it ever had in her life. What, she asked herself, would she say? Ker mother, wondering at her silence, looked at her in mild surprise. Suddenly a light broke upon Shir ley and fihe half sobbed in relief. Shf saw a way out of her difficulty; sa^ how she could supply all the delica^ cies the invalid needed without ir the Slightest deeree woundine he: pride in the family name or causing her uneasiness regarding her whereabouts. Why should her mother, who scarcely ever left her couch, have t? know where the money came from? "Oh, mother," she exclaimed, laying her head on the other's shoulder, "I have the best news in the world foi you! I am to have good roles in the operas, just as we all planned, and, oh?it's going to be splendid for us both, mother mine. I am so glad, dear." It was some moments before she lifted her head to receive the happy woman's kiss.?Boston Post. London Traffic Problems, By JOHN L. GRIFFITHS. The primary difficulty in handling the enormous and constantly increasing London traffic arises from the manner of London's growth through the centuries. It was not laid out as Washington was, but developed in this direction or that in response .tc the immediate pressing Deed, and un til recent times with little regard to iuture requirements. The result is an extremely picturesque city, but not 3ne altogether adapted to the transporation needs of its vast population: It is proposed now to make an extensive survey of the traffic necessities of the city, taking into consideration its possible future expansion, with the view of establishing great irterial traffic thoroughfares for the purpose of relieving the congestion a: the centre, and of furnishing adequate communication betweon the :entre and the outlying districts. To show the need of such thoroughfares it is only necessary to mention that tvhile there are 102 miles of boulevards and avenues ninety-eight and a tialf feet or more wide in Paris, Lonion has only eight and one-half miles, md while Paris has forty-two roads radiating into the country, London, with a population twice as great, has jnly twenty, and ordinarily they are aarrower than the French roads. The proportions of the London :raffic problem are shown by the fact :hat 87,934 new. buildings were ;rected in the County of London (the :ity embraces the entire county and portions of other counties) from 1897 n 19ns and bv the further fact that n the scfme period 148 miles of new itreets were laid out. It is estimated that by the middle >f the present year the population of greater London will number 7,500,)00 people, of whom 4,873,000 will Iwell within the county of London proper, and 2,627,000 outside. Upon i conservative estimate an annual adiition of 100,000 may be expected to his population. The experience of London is simiar to that of all other great cities in ;hat, for many years past, tbe popuation of the outer area has been increasing much more rapidly than in he central districts, and the difficul:ies of the traffic situation have been ihereby seriously augmented. The :otal number of passengers conveyed n 1908 was 1,377,630,180, as against )72,465,682 in 1903. The total numjer of passengers carried in 1881 was jnly 269,662',649.. - These figures, aowever, are not complete, i!or they lo not include the cab traffic, nor all )f the omnibus traffic, and neither do :hey cover the great suburban traffic >f the trunk railways. The average length of the individual journey is increasing as people tnove farther out. The development in the facilities of transportatior iave not kept pace with tbe growth ir population, and the time is approaching, it is predicted, when the increase of travel and the outward movement of the population will each be checked unless provision is made to keep suet facilities abreast with the growing demand. While there were 43,538 emptj bouses and tenements in twenty-sij of the twenty-eight metropolitan boroughs of London in August last, then las been a phenomenal increase in th< population?in the last decade espe cially?of almost all of the outlyirif or suburban districts. Tramways, as far as London is concerned, it is be lieved, have practically reached theii limit of development, but the mok>i omnibus is probably only in its in fancy.?Daily Consular Reports. The Stony British Glare. Lord Crewe made a very inte ...*>* ing little speech yesterday at the an nual meeting of the Atlantic Union a society which works for the im provement of Anglo-American cor diality and of the relations between Englishmen and men of other na tions generally. He said that on grave cause of international misun derstauding was our "notorious stiff ness of demeanor," and he referrei to that delightful drawing by Di Maurier in Punch in which the tabl d'hote of a foreign hotel in the slaci season was depicted as populated onl by two Engnsnmen, suuug m, site ends of the table, glaring speech lessly at each other. All that h said was true enough. We are ur demonstrative. We are not men an brothers the whole world round as w should be, and as we shall be whe Robert Burus' millennium comes a last. If we may be allowed to sa so. we can hardly picture Lord Crew himself respondiug with a leap int the air and a joyful howl to the "Ho1 do, sonny?" of an Ontario mine mar ager. He would probably smil charmingly, bow most courteous) and extend a friendly hand; but th --i ? tulfo all that fnr COO CU1UU1SI wuuiu ni.xv n... .... ness and the Atlantic Union woul have to explain.?London Evenin Standard. Or an Immunity Bath. A colored man who was much wo ried by the attentions paid no his wi by a man of the same color went the judge and told him all about i The magistrate advised him to beg at once proceedings for a divorce. "But I don't want a divorce," pr tested the complainant; "I want ? injunction."?-Everybody's Magazin Tf Vrtn W.int tft T,ll-tvl Don't be always, cornering people - and telling them of your" troubles. They've quite enough of their own, * and It's only to be expected that your friends will like you better if you 1 bring sunshine when you come to ' ' visit them.?Home Chat. ! Abolish the Kiss? Whjle it is generally asserted by the serious that there is an excess of kissing in the world, this little act of , tenderness goes steadily on. Although lovers protest that there is too much wasted sweetness (when ; Miriam bestows 4ust one on father), ! hearts keep on beating and pulses , throb the same as ever. Much has been said against the i habit, and science has stormed it* denunciations against a "mechaaical , duty" that disseminates disease, but she sees little hope of abolishing the , kiss.?New Yprk Press. Mrs. Sage Travels "Light." t The well known simplicity of Mrs. Russell Sage's personal tastes received a?further exemplification a few days ago when tihe landed in New York on her return from a visit to thfe Pacific coast. That she would not be burdened with an extravagant t amount of baggage was to be expected, but few women even of humble 'means would think it possible to i travel 300C1 miles from home as i "light" as did Mrs. Sage. The.bagi gageman to whom her checks were handed, and who learned her identity thereby, insisted there must be a mistake when only one small trunk and a leather valise were forthcoming for transfer to Mrs. Sage's Fifth i avenue home, and all her requirements for the run across the contli neat were contained in two small i handbags. The possession she guarded most carefully on the tVain was a pot of Easter lilies, a gift from a little Pasadena girl, who boarded i the train there to bid her good-bye. i v?New York Press. Wash Pettirnats. If you expect to make jour own petticoats select white muslin, blue caambray, tan chambray, white insertion or unbleached muslin and gingham for bands. In making .the 3 3 -ji Marshmallow Cake.? cJ > ?<! two cups of sugar;. 3 ft c 0 'i ^er wIt^ two and one-b 0 0 "&!' ually to tho creamed bi 1 ? ; ^ small amount of, milk w jjy ? ? six stiffly beaten egg whl I unbleached muslin petticoat cut the skirt in gores and attach a flounce. Trim the flounce with a narrow band | of gingham and head it with a fold of .gingham. Both materials will , wash nicely. In selecting a muslin by all means eliminate lime-filled. It is cheap and soon turns yellow. If a [ ruffle of Swiss embroidery is used.se, lect the kind with small notched edges and it will be less liable to tear. ! If laces are wanted the valenciennes L are durable, but a heavier linen variety can be' used over and over , again. For a chambray petticoat a net ruffle gives a pretty effect. Curtain net will serve the purpose. Hem it and head the hem with a very nar row fold of petticoat material. Three small bands look pretty on it. A serviceable petticoat is made of blach or navy near silt. It wears well, has a silk finish and may be washed.? Detroit News Tribune. The Brotherless Girl. The grown-up brother of the Tamils often has a role assigned him?a rol< he does not take up voluntarily? that of matchmaker for his sisters And I reckon it is his blissful unconsciousness that enables him to plaj 3 the part to perfection. " ? ?-1 f atttai 1D? Drouneness gu 1 uas icnc > chances of meeting eligible men, ant 3 when she does the opportunity of cul * tivating and fostering the acquaint r ance may not be forthcoming. r True, she may have a matchmak " ing mother, but this is often a handi cap rather than a help. The unwilling benedict too oftei discerns the par; that a maneuverini mamma is playing in the affair ant resents it. But when one of hi: friends takes him home to dinner 01 ' invites him for a week end visit h< goes without being in the least awari of th'S danger there might be in i I for a freedom loving bachelor. The brother is usually blind to thi e charms of his own womenfolk; tha " the idea of any one falling in lov< * with them never strikes him, an< * when at last he realizes the truth hi II does not always approve of it. e But the brother has no longer an; & part in the matter; his work is done y Decidedly the girl with brother; " has more advantages, matrimoniall; l" speaking, than the girl without. Shi e has everything done for her withou l" any connivance or planning on he d own part.?Elinor Hite, in the Wash e ington Herald, n Present For Baby, o One of the prettiest baby present o we know of is the hood and cape, am (v there can be devised no more rteces i. sary garment for throwing round th e I little one, y \ Plain challis, French flannel ?fin l6 cashmere will make a beautiful cape j. perhaps the last named is the mos 3 satisfactory. g There are two ways of making comfortable cape. It may be line with China silk or left without lining, but in either case the hoo demands a soft lining against th r- head. A twist of ribbon passe fe round the back of the neck on th co outside, holding in the fullness c t. cap and cape and ending in a rosett in at each side of the tiny face. From this j>oint hangs an end c o- ribbon to tie tae cape together at th in throat. a, _ A tiny circular design of flower and stems is often embroidered on each of the pointed ends of the cape and on each side oI the cap above the ro3ette. Whatever linings you have-decided | to use are now ba3ted in, and thQ I scallop along the edge is worked through cashmere and lining silk. Delicate blue or pink, embroidered in self tones, will make a most attractive gift for some little stranger if the ribbons used for strings and rosettes are the rich wide variety of the wash quality in the same shade.? Washington. Star. Correct Ways to Sign Names. "Dear Miss Schuyler: "Should a married woman use 'Mrs.' in signing letters, or should she use her maiden name with married .name? 'I would like to know the rule for all correspondence, business, ac quaintances and friends. I have enjoyed your articles so much. "A CONSTANT READER." Only when brackets are used may a woman write the prefix "Mrs." or "Miss" to her name when she is signing a communication. If she is corresponding with persons who are strangers, whether the matter be business or personal, she may frequently write her note in the third person: In business it is always advisable to do this. For instance, if a woman wishes an article frpm the grocery or dry goods shop she should begin the letter by saying "Mrs. Howard Van Sluyck wishes," etc. The address is then placed at the bottom of the note. Should she write in the first person to a shop and wish to sign her name "she may do it in either of two ways. If she pre- J fers to use her individual name the | signature should read "(Mrs.) Mary Ellen Van Sluyck" or ."Mary Ellen Van Sluyck," putting directly beneath it in brackets "(Mrs. Howard Van Sluyck.)" The latter, that is, both signatures, is the form always to be employed when writing in the first person to social equals who do not know the name. For example, a woman may have occasion to write to anotner woman about a servant's reference and the one receiving the letter, being a total stranger and perhaps never having heard of the writer, v must be i treated with the utmost formality, ?Cream three-fourths cup of butter mix one teaspoonful of baking powlalf cups of sifted flour. Add.gradltter, one cup of milk, alternating a ith a small amount of flour. Fold in Ites. but of course, as an equal. Therefore, the writer should sign her note as she would to a friend, putting beneath It her married name. An unmarried woman, having but ; one name, would sign hers in full, i putting Miss in brackets beside it. I can think of no place, save on a hotel register, or when writing a visiting card, that a woman signs her name with its prefix, without bracki ets. When she wishes to use her married name, that is, her husband's, ' h^r own must be written in full"with . the married name beneath in brack ets.?Miss Schuyler, in the New York i Telegram. Steel ornaments are very much much used. r. Raffia is used for many smart shop' ping bags. Rich embroidery is much in evidence this season. Tussore and satin tailored costumes replace velvet. The pretty fluffy jabots are prominent in neckwear. The bib front is a distinctive feature of many dresses. In foulards pin and polka dots and big coin spots prevail. White belts are worn with the most elegant lingerie gowns. I The dressy colored blouse is en1 joying a revival this season. 3 Dots and rings are much employed I" in tVio npw fmilnrrl Hpsiptir I " ? a 3 This is essentially a silk season, 3 with foulards to the front. Tailormade gowns of silk will be more in evidence than ever before, t On Louis XII. coats one sees three 2 pocket flaps, one above the other. 1 Taffeta has come back to us again, e soft and supple, with a satiny sheen. Peasant frocks of white linen are P decidedly smart for the small daugh' ter. ^ Much self-trimming is used in bias bands, cordings, shirrings and the J like. r Everything in the way of change. able material will be much worn this season. "Indro" is a shanting of light weignt, ana is very suitaDie ior aressy frocks. g .j Brilliant satin or foulard linings replace those of self-color for coats ' and wraps. Many robo dresses are in evidence, e with spots as big as a dollar forming ; the border. i Vivid touches of orange and chantecler red are in evidence on a black gowns. d Leghorn hats, faced with black a velvet, are shown in many smart and d novel shapes. 9. . , . Odd effects are gainea in cnmou <5 gowns by making them over a con. trasting shade. e Shirrings of net over colored satin rattail appear on many of the new lace and net dresses. e The sleeve with shirring is a favorite style only with the woman whose s ,arm is quite slender. m 1 THE MAID AND THE CANARY. j She watched the canary, This maiden contrary, So busily preening himself In the sun; His feathers he oiled With his bill, and he toiled To smooth and to polish Each disarranged one. . , . He pulled out the stray ones, The ragged and gray ones, ' His wee little body ile shook in aeugnt, He eyed himself gravely, . Then, satisfied, bravely A whistling sonata He gave with l^is might. "Oh, Dick," cried the lass, "Shall I buy yotf a glass? You're all the time fussing And primping, I swear; You're all the time shining Your feathers, or dining, To make yourself pretty Seems only your care. The way that you slick * Up your feathers, now, Dick, Ana spend so much time On your looks is absurd, You vain little, proud little, Stuck up young Dird." Then she fixed her back hair, And reached down somewhere For a soft chamois rag, And she powdered her nose, And straightened her belt, a_J -1.- 7. 1:1 Anu ana, wuuiuuimc, xeii. At the back, to be sure Of just what, goodness knows. From his perch Dick looked down. As she fussed with her gown. And straightened each ple&t, As all women oft do, And he said with a jerk Of his 1iead and a smirk: "When it comes to conceit I've nothing on you." ?Detroit Free Press. The culture which knows how to burn money withoutmaklng too much of a smudge is at all events a very practical culture.?Puck. "Call off your dog," sa'd the agent. "What do you want?/ the woman asked. "If you don't call off the dog I won't tell you," said the agent.? BufTalo Express. Hamm ? "Do you recognize the profession?" Ticket Man ? "Yes. i But If you'll stand out of the line quietly I won't give you away."? Cleveland Leader. I like to give an honest deal As I go through this life, But I can't love the folks who feel So sorry for my wife. "It's an awful night. You can't go home in this weather. Stay and have supper with us."/ "Oh I It isn't as hopeless as that, thank you!" Cleveland Leader. "What did you find particularly ? - -a i ??i. _i ?? umv- A SIlOCKing ai tnat pmy: i ue peupia I saw in the audience whom I had hitherto regarded as sedate and con1 servative people."?Washington Star. Bills?"Are you aware of the fact that there may be millions of germs on a dollar bill?" "Yes, sir. That's one reason why I prefer bills of q higher denomination."?Chicago Record-Herald. "And where is' your sailor son ^ now?" "Well, I don't rightly mind, mum, if he be gone to Gibraltar in the Jupiter, or to Jupiter in the Gib; raltar, but it be somewheres in therfi parts."?Punch. Exceed just now no mortal can Within life's groove, The calm contentment of the man Who didn't move. ?Louisville Courier-Journal. "You have an enviable collection of postcards, haven't you?" said the caller, looking through the lot. "Why, what's this one?all blank on one side?" she added. "Th.it? That's a Government postal card?a rare bird these days," the owner said, after consulting her catalogue. ? Buffalo Express. "I hear," said Mrs. Oldcastle, "that Dr. Cutler has recently turned to ostonnathv " "You don't say." replied her hostess after she had tossed a $5 gold piece to the hurdy gurdy man outside and told him to move on; "I always expected something of that kind to happen to him. Didn't you ever notice that he seemed to have such a stony stare?"?Chicsgo Record-Herald. WORDS OF WISDOM. Many a family tree would make mighty poor lumber. Public abuse demonstrates that a man may be literally kicked into prominence. There are lots of better actresses off the stage than on. The girls who have tho most cheek seldom use it in blushing. Many a self-made man had pretty poor material to begin with. In the matter of tongues even a woman should be able to hold her own. Any man can fool a woman, provided she doesn't fool him first. Love frequently starves to death trying to see how little it can live on. A woman never sees a man's worst side til she becomes his better half. 1 It isn't altogether politeness that causes us to bow to the inevitable. No man has such a horror of old age as to want to die young. When a widow reads her husband's obituary she is apt to be surprised to learn what a fine man he really was. Come straight to the point and neonle will say that you are blunt. Lots of lis never know what we want till we realize we can't get it. The doctor should see that his patients are well heeled. Tell the truth, Che whole truth, and nothing but the truth?that is, if you don't care anything about making friends.?From "Musings of the Gentle Cynic," in the New York Times. Umbrellas For Party Leaders. A parcel of umbrellas arrived at the House of Commons yesterday ad- I ' ~ + nf t hn I iht*>m 1 I | ui uaacu iu iiic v*. IJiarty. They came from Mr. Wright, of Glasgow, who sent a similar token jo Mr. Gladstone when he was entering upon his home rule campaign, *'on the ground that the fighting men Of the Liberal party are in need of a strong shelter at the present moment."?London Daily Mail. ? ' ' , \ Package Mailed Free on Request of MUNYON'S PAW-PAW PILLS - The best Stomach and Liver Pills known and a positive and speedy cure for Constipation, IndigestI6n, Jaundice ^ 1 Biliousness, Soar Stom.- Bi i|ii ach, Headache, and all [iL'J.jUSrfjl ailments arising from a lY'VlffrMl disordered stomach or wa?1ysluggish liver'. They contain in cocj^nr trated form all 'Hie virtues and values of Munyon'n PawPaw tonic and are made from tfie Juice of the Baw-Paw fruit. I unhesitatingly recommend these pills as being the best laxative and cathartic ever compounded. Send us postal or letter, requesting a free package of Munyon's Celebrated Paw-Paw Laxative Pills, and we will mail same free of charge. MUNYON'S HOMOEOn A rpuiri unwr DPMrnv rn K?M A XI lilJV 1 IViliU XVUVAUV Jk W?? and Jefferson Sts., Philadelphia, Pa. A Witty Bishop. "The late Bishop Foss," said a Philadelphia physician, "once visited me for some trifling ailment. " 'Do you, sir,' I said to him, in the course of my examination, 'talU in your sleep?' " 'No, sir,' he answered. 'I talk in other people's. Aren't you aware that I am a divine?' ?Washington Star. Her Scalp Itched Intolerably. "Just, about two years ago, some form of humor appeared on my scalp. The beginning was a slight Itching, but It grew steadily worse until, when I combed my hair the scalp became raw and the ends of the comb-teeth would be wet with blood. Most <!# the time there was an intolerable itching, in a painful, burning way, very much as a bad, raw burn, if deep, will itch and smart when first beginning to heal. Combing my hair was positive torture. My hair was long and tangled terribly because of the blood and scabs. This continued growing worse and over half my hair felt'out I was in despair, really afraid of becoming totally bald. "Sometimes the pafn was so great that, when partially awake, I wtraid scratch the worst places so that my finger-tips would be bloody. I could not sleep well and, after being asleep a short time, that awful stinging pain would commence and then I would wake up nearly wild with the torture. A neighbor said it must be salt rheum. Having used Cutlcura Soap merely as a toilet soap before, I now^decided to order a set of the Cutlcura Remedies ? ?Cutlcura Soap, OJntmCnt and PHls. I used them according to directions for perhaps six weeks, then left off, as the disease seemed to be eradicated, but toward spring eighteen months ago, there was a slight return of the scalp humor. I commenced the Cutlcura treatment at once, so had very little trouble. On my scalp I used about one-half a cake of Cuttcura Soap and half a box of Cuticura Ointment in all. The first time I toqk* six or seven bottles of Cutlcura Pills and the last timethreebottles?neither an exnensive or tedious treatment Since then I have had no scafp trouble, of any kind. Standing up, with my hair unbound, it cornea to my knees, and had it not been for, Ctrticura I should doubtless be wholly bat?. "This Is a voluntary, unsolicited testimonial, and I take pleasure in writing it, hoping my experience may help someone else. Miss Lillian Brown, R. F. D. 1, Liberty, Me., Oct 29, 190&." Bloodthirsty. Boys used to run away from home with an ambition to go West and fight Indians. A fifteen-year-old lad left his home north of Abilene the other day and when found in Sallna said he wanted to get a job in. a garage so aeto leant to run an automobile. A locar paper aaas me muuuiuuai; h little scamp?"?Kansas City Ster. 9 t H A new machine gun which the Uni- I ted States Army is testing fires morel than three shots a minute, N^eigh* H only thirty pounds, and can be oper- H ated by two men, one loading as the H other aims and fires it H "That Tired Fr slin*" H Is a condition, not a theory. Far from H being a matter of trivial or joking eom- H ment, it is a condition of real danger. It H is a never-falling symptom of a state of H the blood and nerves that will not cure H itself, but, unless prompt measures areH taken, will go from baa to worse. Just H now, when so many contagious diseases H are prevalent, it makes the system espedally susceptible to attacks of sickness. H To mention "that tired feeling" is to saggeet the remedy?Hood's Sarsapariila, unquestionably the most suocessful blood * ??- snH general H purmer,nervo iuun.laijtiv.uv.l?. ? "spring medicine." It makes people well. H| Chicago is considering plans far an ex-^fl tensive svstcm of subway railways^to costH $80,000,000. Ask Your Dealer For Allen's Foot-Ense. H A powder. It rests the feet. Cures Corns, H Bunions, Swol len. Sore, Hot, Callous, Aching, Sweating Feet and Ingrowing Nails. Allen Foot-Ease makes newor tight shoes easy. At^H all Druggists and Shoe stores, 25 cents. Ao-H cept no substitute. Sampie mailed Freb.H[ Address Allen S. Olmsted. LeRoy, X. Y. H The average daily clearings of the New^J York clearing houses last year amounted^B to $241,413,023. Try Murine Eye Remedy H For Red, Weak, Wear}-, Watery Eyes andl Granulated Eyelids. It Soothes Eye Pain.M Murine Eye Kemedy liquid. zoc. anu Murine Eye Salve, 25c. r._d $1.00. " The coining value of the gold and silver^B of the mints of the world in 1907 totaled^B ?4.9S3,002,850. Airs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children^? teething, softensthe gums,reduces lnfiamma-^H tion, allays pain, cures wind colic, 25c. a boait^B Greece has practically no coal deposits Whatever electric, power it has comes from^f waterfalls. One Solution. Bfl One of the officials of the Midland^! Railway, coming from GlenwoodM Springs recently, was telling a young^B woman on the train how wonaerrunj^B productive Colorado's irrigated? ground is. "Really," he explained, "it's soH rich that girls who walk on it hav^f big feet. It just simply makes theli^f feet grow." H "Huh," was the young woman's re-H joinder, "some of the Colorado mer^^ must have been going around walkln?^| oa their heads."?Denver Post,