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A PUZCLI I wonder why is it that girls are Should do jist like their mamma It's offul easy for a girl to git al They praise her up ler actin' jis T wonder why it is that boys cai Their pas do, and still not git lie Their pks they nearly always sm And wunst my pa he got so mac I wisht somebodv'd tell me why Fer boys to do things that their I wisht I knew why girls can act And, what is more, git loved a 1< - ? s : Uncle Jarve's" / * ^ By CKARLK $ ^ It has always seemed to me that Uncle Jarve's "water-dragon" was the o most useful, practical and efficient il fire-fighter which I have ever seen, " especially for mills, factories, cream- v eries and so forth, where there is y water, steam or any other power. It could be used, however, at farms, .? ny roci/tonnoi!?at f?nv nlaee. in-1 P. deed, -where a small power is in4 stalled. " i It was one of Uncle Jarve's odd y contrivances when he was at Grand- p father Adams', lording it over my f brother "Poley" and myself. He first a rigged one up at the old paper-pulp t] mill in the woods, where we were turning dowels and manufacturing s; shovel-handles from ash. Uncle Jarve had not been at the J mill for some time, but one afternoon 1j about the middle of August, when o our team came back from the railway station, lo! there he sat beside the a driver; and he had in the back of the s< wagon two empty oil-barrels, and a w lot of wire and other iron gear. z "Now look out," Poley said to me, t; under his breath. "Be on your guard, p or he will stick us for something or d o.ther. Don't pay him another cent T of money." p Uncle Jarve, however, appeared to t) be in one of his absorbed, thought- o ful, inventive moods. He said hardly p a word to us, but went walking about and round the mill, whistling low to p himself all the rest of the afternoon, w At last he took supper with us and > stayed overnight, still without saying " a word as to what he had come for or h why he had Orougnt tne oii-oarreis. But the next day he got to work; o in fact, he had, as it now appeared, n been making his preparations and ji getting his ironwork done for a week or two. j He rolled one of the heavy barrels into the mill, and during all the reet of the forenoon he was riggirg a kind of drum on the main shaft of the mill, for winding his coil of wire. In the afternoon we saw him wind- ' ing the wire round the outside of the oil-barrel. He wound it very tightly and made both ends fast at the chimes. That was about all he did that day; | but the next day he brought in his Iron gear, bored a hole in each head of the barrel, and then passed a rod through .the holes and through the barrel, so that the ends, which had been cut for a screw thread, project- | ed about two inches outside each head. w Next he put a circular iron plate tl on each head, having a hole in the ci centre for the end of the rod to come t< through; and then, applying a washer n and a nut, he screwed them tight -down on both heads. This, of course, ti wat to secure the barrel-heads against Internal pressure. n He had thus made his barrel iron- cl clad, so to speak, and very strong, o: It was water-tight and nearly, if not h , wholly, air-tight. vt After that he whistled and walked s: round for a while, and sang a song n or two in his rasping, unmusical voice; but in the afternoon he be- h came silently busy again, attached a n crank to the spare end of the main si shaft, so as to convert circular motion tl to backword and forward motion, and then connected to that a small but d strong pump, set horizontally, with a r? pipe from it down to the water under ! si the mill. | g "Now what do you suppose he is up d to?" Poley asked me. | tl That was more than I could guess; ; h we went about our business and pretended to take no notice. | c Uncle Jarve whistled most of the " next day, but got to work toward1 n night, set his barrel on end at the t; "back of the mill,*and secured it in tl place with a collar and braces. He' a then connected his pump to the bung- | hole of the barrel with a bit of iron J pipe?and went home. < d After he had gone, Poley and 1 c looked it all over, but could make' nothing out of it. ! si "I guess he's crazy?at last," Poley d said. "V But the next day Uncle Jarve came b back. He had walked all the way up ! I to the mill; and he brought, coiled v, over his head and shoulders, about t' forty feet of hose, which he had | wound with wire The hose had a n nozzle on it at one end, and at the b -other a valve and screw connection, i a He was whistling happily to him- | self; and he now proceeded to bore d a hole in the top head of the barrel v and to connect his hose. He also p screwed a little air-cock into the top head. E After that he tested it all, then sat J and looked it over, and walked round n the mill for as much as an hour. By t that time it was noon, and he came iu o to dinner with the rest of us. Just as b we were getting up from the table, d Poley said. "Uncle Jarve, I'd like to! know what you are making out there h ?if you know yourself." r Undo Jarve regarded him a mo- fi ment thoughtfully. f: "Chuck,' said he, *"1 concluded you'd be asking that question just ft about now. A boy like you, Chuck- t sey, with not over a pint of brains,! can stand only about so much curios- v ity; it burns him all up!" o / . ''Ob, yes, yes, we know that you've a got all the brains there are in the t family!" exclaimed Poley, wrathfully. b "But some of us can earn a living? v which is more than you ever did."- t fcMin ii ill i mill \ SD BOY. always told that they s do in every single way? ong, becuz t the way her mamma dnz. n't go and do the way ked or lectured every day? loke, and many of them chew, 1 I heard him swearin' too! it's always dreadful wrong pas keep doin' right along; jist JlKe viieir uuuuuian uu, )t and praised up fer it, too! Water-Dragon."! ?% % S ADAM?. ^ Poley burst out with something or ther in reply, but Uncle Jarve cut t short. "Oh, drop that," said he, and come along out to the mill; I fant to show you the finest thing ou ever saw." We went out with him, and our hree hired men, who were also very urious, followed us. Uncle Jarve looked perfectly happy. Now, Chuck," said he, "I've given ou a dead-sure thing in the way of retecting your mill from fire. It's ally equal to a steam fire-engine; nd it is so inexpensive and cheap ban anybody can have one." We smelled a rat, so to speak, and aid nothing. "You see that oil-barrel," Uncle arve continued. "That cost one dolir. You see these circular iron disks n the heads and that rod and the fire on the barrel. Well, they cost dollar and eighty-five cents. You ee that little force-pump, too; that r&s five dollars fifty. The hose, nozle, wire and pet-cock were six seventr_A-rrA* ** A ItlAMA1 r*4> ~ 7 jr-ii?G, au u ujuoc uaa ui urn uuu iping cost sixty cents more. Fifteen ollars and seventy cents, all told, "hat's all it actually cost; but I exect to get twenty-five dollars for tie rig, as it stands. The nine thirty ver the cost is my profit for the ateat." Uncle Jarve looked at us as if electing appreciation or applause. But e said nothing. "Let me show you,w he went on. Suppose a fire started in the mill ere, or in the lumber-yard outside, ine of you shout, 'Fire!' and the ther take out your watch and time ' ie. Just three jumps to make; first amp, to "hoist the gate and start the ! % | I'm thankful for the summer i I'm thankful for the winter wil I'm such a thankful feller that 1 Say whether I'm more thankful Of course there's disappointme |2g7 or less. I But I'm so brimmin' over with I don't have time to worry o'er For the Lord jes* keeps me bus ?Roy Farrell C ater-power going; second jump, to J lis little lever, which connects the i ank-gear to the pump; third jump, ) catch up the nozzle and hose. How lany seconds?" "Twenty-one," said I, for I was , ming his movements. Uncle Jarve was in his element ow, and waxed * enthusiastic. He barged the pump with a quart or so ( ? water, and then pumped the barrel alf-full. "That is the way you alays want to keep it, ready for fire," lid he. "Now yell "Fire!' and time le again." i This time Uncle Jarve had the gate , oisted, the pump in motion, and the ozzle in his hands, with a smart .ream of water flying from it across ae mill in eighteen seconds! As the pump went on, rapidly conensing the air and water in the barel, the jet .rom ..the nozzle gained trength, till it was projected with reat force on all sides, clear outoors and high in the air; for it had tie full force of the water-power beind it. "Hurrah!" Uncle Jarve shouted, utting circles with the whizzing jet. Best thing 1 ever did! It will save lillions every year! What is twen f-flve dollars tor a nre-ngnter nue tiis?" and he turned to us again for ppreciation. But we said nothing. "Is it possible, Chucks, that you on't see the bigness of this?" he exlaimed, reproachfully. "You stocks! ou stones! Haven't you any eyes to se? Haven't you any brains to unerstand? Wake up, can't you? Vhat you need is an eye-opener or a rain-opener! Stupid Chucks! But '11 make you wake up!" And beforej re knew what he was about, he urned that jet on us. I The first douche from it nearly took , le off my feet. Poley tried to dodge, | ut Uncle Jarve caught him wiph it, nd drenched him to the skin. ; I ran, but as I dashed out at, the oor. Uncle Jarve caught me again nth it and lifted me clear over a ile of birch -^olts. Poley was crying, "Stop! Stop it! " >ut it was of no use to tell Uncle arve to stop?lie was having too auch fun! He caught Poley flat in he face, whis! splash! knocked him ver. soaked him and nearly drowned im before he could crawl out at the oor on his hands and knees. Then turnpfl suddenly on the. ired men, who stood a little to the j ear and were roaring with laughter, j ur they thought that they were safe ! rom him. "What are you three laughing at?" ,e shouted, and let them have it, oo. Two of them ran for the dcor, and fere soaked as they rushed out; the ther tried to get at Uncle Jarve with , shovel-handle, but was caught by be jet plumn under the chin, and iowled over into a heap of shavings, /here Uncle Jarve played on him [ ill ho howled for mercy! he let drive with that Jet?ana actually he could reach a hundred feet with it. In three minutes we all took to flight out of range. And then he danced a war-dance and shouted and whooped and cut great circles high over the mill with that jet. Poley, all dripping, came round where I stood behind a tree. "He's crazy as a coot!" said Poley. "What are we going to do with him?'' But suddenly Uncle Jarve stopped. "All right!" ho cried to us. "The fun's over. Come in out of the wet!" We ventured back, all pretty angry, especially Poley. Uncle Jarve had shut the gate, stopped the power, and was coiling up the hose. "Sorry, Chucks, that I had .to wet you down!" he remarked. "But I couldn't seem to beat this thing into your thick heads any other way. You understand it now. "Besides," said Uncle Jarve, throwing back his head and tilting up that long nose of his, "I had to let off steam a bit! It was .the high joy of invention. You don't know anything about that, Chucks, and you never will; so go dry yourselves, and thank your old uncle for giving you complete fire protection at your mill here." "Pd like to thank you by playing that nozzle down your back!" exclaimed Poley. , "Ungrateful Chuck!" said Uncle Jarve. "A pint of brains! Only a pint of brains!" We would all have enjoyed thrashing him; but Uncle Jarve was then nearly twenty-five years old, and an i althletlc fellow when not too lazy to display his strength. He came in to supper with us, and after doing ample justice to the fare, remarked that he feared he would have to take leave of us that evening. Poley snorted relief. "You see," Uncle Jarve explained, "I'm going to get up another of these water-dragons. It Is the greatest thing of- the.kind ever invented. I'm going out with one, to take orders, and I need a little ready money. So I shall have to trouble you for twentyfive dollars for this one." "You just let us know when you get it!" shouted Poley, so r.ngry that he sprang up from his chair and j doubled his fists. Uncle Jarve regarded him re- ' flectively and shook his head. "Only 1 a pint of brains!" he sighed, with j great apparent sadness. Uncle Jarve wet,t away, but < throughout August and September he came round regularly about once a week and dunned us for that money. I??0?f) fttl with its blossoms an' its bees, ih its bluster and its freeze, I couldn't, if I'd try, 1 for December or July. \ ints, an' there's trouble, more _ j the sweets o' happiness ? W ! the bitter things, you see, y bein' thankful's 1 can be. j Jreene, in Leslie's Weekly. At first we had no notion of ever paying him a cent'1; but as it chanced, there were bad forest fires in September, which approached so near the mill that we were glad .to make use of the water-dragon, to save our lumber and other property. It was the most practical, powerful fire-fighter I ever saw; and during October wo decided that it was perhaps no more than just to pay Uncle Jarve the sum which he demanded. He took the money and went to Washington, with the design of securing patent rights on the waterdragon. The patent officials held, however, that no new principle was involved in it other than those already employed in steam and handpower fire-engines. This may be the fact. JJone the less,'"the water-dragon embodied a novel, practical and inexpensive application of these principles.?Youth's Companion. ^'eetli For the Villain. The two sets of false teeth looked just alike, but one set cost $10 more than the other. "There is a lot. of extra work on those expensive teeth," said the dentist. "They are made for an actor who always plays the part of heavy villain in melodrama, and he has to haveteeth that he can hiss with. I experimented on three different sets of teeth before I got the combination. Somehow, the nice, even teeth that I usu ally turn out wouldn't permit the sibilant 'ss-sses' that he deals in to escape with sufficient venom. You wouldn't believe how much tinkering it takes to lick teeth into shape for the 's'deaths' and 'cd's bloods' to scund just right. Of all the people I ever made teeth for, the heavy stage villain is the hardest to fit."?New York Times. The Old Familiar Faces. "Hello, there!" exclaimed the cheerful man. "Glad to see you. Howdy do?" "Why?er?hc-wdy do? Howdy do?" returned the absent-minded man, somewhat dubiously. "How are you?" "Pretty well, pretty well; cr?"You don't seem to remember me." "Why?er?your face is familiar. uui?er? "2?on't remember my name, eh?" "Well?er?I hope you'll pardon me, but I must confess I don't," said the absent-minded man. "You'll find it on the handle of that umbrella you are carrying,"remarked the cheerful man. "You borrowed it from me six months ago."?New York Times. Doir.:; Her Kest. "Won't you try to iove me?" he sighed. "I have tried," she replied, kindly but firmly. WARN CHILDREN OF PERILS IN STREETS. I Egerton L. Winthrop, Jr., Urge All School Principals to Explat Dangers to Pupils. As a result of a letter sent to th Board of Education by Edw. S. Coi liell, secretary of the National Higl ways Protective Society, Egerton I Winthrop, Jr., president of the Boar of Education, yesterday sent to th principals of all public schools in th various boroughs a letter which urge principals to warn children about der gers in the street, especially from at tomobiles. The letter follows: "In accordance with a letter re ceived from the National Highway Protective Society. I desire you t bring to the attention of all pupils i your school the importance of thei exercising great care when on th streets, so as to avoid the danger c being run down by automobiles, etc. "It is a common practice for chi] dren to attach themselves to movin vehicles, wagons and carts, and the jump off suddenly, thereby incurrin serious risks. They also frequentl dart out from behind piles of brici lumber, etc., on the streets and high ways, and not infrequently try to se how close they can escape being ru: over by a motor vehicle. Many dri-v ers of automobiles run their machine in a most reckless manner, and th danger to the people of the streeti especially to children, is very great. "I think that a few words from yo^ to your pupils cannot fail to have good effect in reducing the number o accidents."?New York Herald. SIN OF AN IDLE LIFE.. Testator Warns Sons?Denounce Loafing and "Useless Exercise.1' A striking appeal to rich youn men not to allow their wealth t tempt them into habits of loafing am Idlenesses made by the late Lieuten ant-Colonel Edward Tufnell in hi will, disposing of estate valued a ?343,624 gross and net personalit ?103,199. Colonel Tufnell, who had resi dences in Eaton Square, at The Grove Wimbledon Park, and Crowhure Park, Sussex, was Unionist M. P. fo Southeast Sussex from 1900 to 1906 and was formerly a member of th King's Bodyguard. The appeal against loafing is mad in the following remarkable clause i; his will: "I desire to bring home to th minds of my sons, and of each am every young man who may hereafte take benefit in my property under thi my will, how strongly I hold to th view that eyery man should, dtirin some substantial portion of his life and certainly during bis early man hood, have some definite occupation and lead a useful life, and should no suffer wealth or any accession o wealth or other temptation to temp him into idleness, and a mere loaflni and useless existence. "I might have so framed this m; will as to have made idleness operat to forfeit the interests hereby con ferred on my sons or other younj men in my property, but I forese that such a provision jnight, in cer tain cases, work hardships, and I pre fer to hope and to trust, as I do, tha no son of mine and no other 3'ouni man who may under this my will sue ceed to the enjoyment of any propert; of mine, will so disregard my view herein expressed as to lead the lif I so strongly deprecate." Colonel Tufnell himself always lei a strenuous life. He saw active ser vice in the Nile Expedition of 1884-3 when serving in the Eighteenth Roya Irish Regiment.?London Express. /' Arkansas Diamonds. It is reported that this year()up t Julv 1. seven hundred diamonds hav been found in Arkansas. Three cu stones were found to be brilliant, an< were valued at $60 to $175 a carat A parcel of rough unsorted stone from the mine will be easily wort] $10 a carat. Cheap mining in Ar kansas is possible, as water .and tim ber are abundant nearby, and coa should be obtained at reasonabl rates. Some diamonds are reportei to have been found also in a newl; discovered pe^idotite area about tw nnd a half miles from where the firs diamond was found on August 1 IQrtfi npflr MnrfrAPshnrn Pilr County, in peridotite, ar. igneou rock.?New York Sun. Could Expose Them. Senator Tillman at a recent ban quet told an amusing story. "The pastor of a Tallapoosi chbrch," he began, "said rather point edly from the pulpit one Sunda; morning: " 'Ah sut'nly am rej'iced to se Bruddah Calhoun White in chu'cl once mo'. Ah'a glad Bruddah Cal houn has saw de error of his ways a lawst, fo' dere is mo" joy obah on sinnah dat repenteth dan obah d' ninety an' nine?' "But at this point Brother Calhoui White interrupted angrily. " 'Oh,' said he, from his seat, 'd ninety an' nine needn't crow. A1 could tell some things erbout d ninety an' nine ef Ah wanted ter!' ?Washington Star. Startlinp Figure?. The lives uf 33,500,000 resident of the United States arc worth $250, 000,000,000. TTnnoPoowa rt7 rlfiifhu ororv vr>r>r one in capitalized earnings $1.COO,000, 000. Workmen's illness annually cost in wages $500,000,000. Care of the sink and dead ever; year costs $4G0,000,000. Tuberculosis taxes the nation $1, 000,000,000 annually. Typhoid fever costs $350,000,000 Malaria costs $200,000,000. Care of the insane and feeble minded costs $3?.,000,090. The total annual cost of all deatl and sickness, necessary and unnece* sary, is $3,000,000,000, of which one third is preventable.?Detroit Fre< Press. 'Jj^mart Frills n New York City. ? Such a pretty fancy waist as this one finds many uses. It can be made with skirt to ? match and become part of a hand' some indoor gown, or it can be made i- from thinner silk or crepe in color to j. match the coat suit and make part ot d ( the street costume. It can be made e. with three-quarter or long sleeves, e and the sleeves can be the pretty fan 3 cy ones illustrated or plain ones as /|H shown in the back view. In the illus- I c tration one of the beautiful new soft i ^ moire silks ia combined with chiffon < cloth and w-ith beaded net. Tbete 4s i a little trimming of soutache about < j the neck edge. The waist is ju6t as < _ well adapted to crepe de Chine, mes- 1 saline and other thin materials, how- i . ever, and one of these can be used i throughout, or the full sleeves can be ? made to match, while the little frill i 1 or tucker and the fancy portions are i ,r of contrasting material. i e c The -waist is made over a fitted-lin- \: * ing. This lining is faced at the un der-arms and again to form the yoke. The waist itself is cut with hack por8 tions and front that is extended to form the girdle at the back and the closing is made invisibly at the back. The little frill or tucker is arranged . over the lining. The full sleeves consist of puffs, over portions of up? turned cuffs, all of wffich are ar. ranged over plain foundations, and y these foundations are the same as the sleeves shown in the back view. e If long sleeves are wanted the linings j are faced to form close fitting cuffs. . j The quantity of material required t for the medium size is two and an e eighth yards twenty-one or twenty ^ ifnrHc thir- I 0 xuur, uuc ixnu uvc-ni^uiu ju< um I ty-two or one and three-eighth yards [i forty-four inches wide with one and a quarter yards twenty-one for the e aleeves and frills, five-eighth yard b eighteen inches wide for the yoke and e dollar. n , ' Hosiery. Never was hosiery as beautiful as i" is this season, and never were worn? ?n so particular in wearing colors that blend well with their gowns. The tendency is toward a better quality t .Tor every-day wear. Women have dis covered that there is as great satisfacj ?ion in buying a fine grade of stocks ings as there is in buying the best of anything else. Tlie Tunfe. The tunic is firmly established. But it is seen chiefly on house gowns of more or less elaborate character. Some of the rough wool walking " skirts still cut on scanty lines have a suggestion of tunic often in a con1 trasting plain cloth, with satin finish - I ?r> tiirnori-im nnron fror's which make I n - j a finish for the flat pressed pleats of t 5 the lower skirt. Russian Illonse. tl ' ' I ' ' of Fashiofl^^ The Tailored Suit. Long - haired, coarse zibeline helongs to the tailored suit with the long or the three-quarter coat. A Dressy Suit. Smooth zibeline and camel's hair are the ideal materials for a somewhat dressy type of tailored suit. A Silk Novelty. A novelty in silk shows a corded material, the cord of one color and the background in another, in changeible elfect. \ Side Seams on Coats. The idea of running a bias seam across the coat from the collarbone under the rever to the hem back of the knees is growing in favor. It was claimed to be a fad that would not probably last into the latest suits, but it is still popular, and gives quite d decided air to a long coat. It is a marked seam, because it is done In Lhe French fashion. Ready-Made Blouse. One may pay a high price for. the ready-made blouse if one is willing to 3o it. There are chic imported modsis replete with original details and bearing an unmistakably Parisian stamp, and these of course come high, but such a blouse if made to order by a dressmaker capable of producing such work would cost as much or more than the ready-made model and mean more trouble and time. Blouse or Guimpe. Such a plain blouse .or guimpe as :his one can be made available in many ways. It can be made from alljver lace as in this case, it can be made Jrom plain material braided or embroidered, it can be made from )ne of the new jetted nets or materials of the sort, and it can be worn is a hlouse or as a euimne. Utilized n this last way it is singularly well idapted to wear beneath the new chif!on over blouses and will be pretty nade from flowered or fancy mate ial. The tucks over ^he ?houl4ers mean, .just becoming -fulness without my effect oC elaboration, and there is i choice allowed of the sleeves illustrated or of plain ones that can be ;ither long or in elbow length. The blouse is made with a fitted iining, which is optional, front and jacks. The tucks are stitched to yoke iepth at the front, but for their enIre length at the back and the fulness 8 arranged in gathers at the waist ine. The fancy sleeves consist of leep cuffs aud puffs. The plain ones re made with upper and under porions. The quantity of material required or the medium size is three and , ii ypu . >*..? _ An Orchard Confidence. "You would know if I am ripe, sir?" em4 the apple on the tree. f *It depends on what you're seeking, far tell you truthfully If it's pleasure you are aft|r I am still |HR trifle gaunt; But if trouble you are seeking, I'm tkflH pippin thr.t you want." HI Defined. IflmBfl "Pa, what in a canard?" "A lie that won't fight, my ' - - . M Enigmatical. "Is that grade-climbing B of yours a bona fide InventJ^MgBH^HH "Honestly, it's on the leflnHHH York Journal. "Have you ever been fjj|l smashup?" Hf I "No, but I once fell ii _ I company with a fat lady.'^^KfeagC y.l Record Herald. '' ' Evidently So. > . "What do you suppose is bebia^ I this refrigerator trust?" ' V "A cold deal for somebody."?New York Journal. Explained. "Dad, what sort of a bureau is.<& matrimonial bureau?" ' _ VV'.ii "Oh, any bureau that has five dry* ers full of flfings and one man's tie In It."?iHouston Post. . s/> -A/ Fine Kids. "Your children are pretty well trained, aren't they?" "Yes, I flatter myself-that they aw I've got 'em bo they don't even-con rect my grammar before company."? Cleveland Leader. A Great Problem Almost Solved, ; "One discovery leads to another.* "Yes," ancwered the jocose acta* tist, "the finding of the North Pols ' has laid the foundation for the d]9 < .covery of perpetual commotion."?' ^ '| Washington Star. Quite k Linguist. J|j|^|S| Yeast?"Does your wife speak more than otoe language?" Crircsonbeak?"Yes; a peaks two?t ! one when she's got hairpinb inkei i mouth and one when she hasn't."-^ , New York Journal. . * 'I ?: -5g ! Fine Kids. "Your children are pretty m&t trained, aren't they?" * j "Yes, I flatter myself that they are* ^ I've got 'em so they don't eve? car* '; & rect my grammar' before company.0 ?New York Journal. . % .V- ^ No Mistake About It. ' "Didn't some idiot propose to jpU before our marriage?" ' . >}' "Certainly." "Then jou ought to have married him." a "That's just what I did."?BonY* ' rant. ' i . .: J, . a No Cure. Lodger?"I can't stay here any longer, Mrs. Binks.* ? Landlady?"Why not, sir? What | ie your complaint?" A I Lodger?"Lung complaint; your baby howls too much."?New York Journal. I ? _ _ _ He Was Particular. Mrs. Myles -? "Who is that man vhrowing that kiss to?" Mrs. StyleS^'It must be you, dear# He wouldn't be throwing me a Met*'^Why not?" "Because it's my husband!"?Yoo? \era Statesman.' . ? Heard in a Newton Home* a. Caller?"How are you, my dear?" Little Qirl?"Very well, thank you." \ Caller?"Now you should ask jao, how I am." , , L. G.?"But I don't want to knoW.^P' ?Boston Transcript. - aj Three Generations. "The grandfather acquired wealtb as a dealer in seal oil and whale blubber. The son's greatest ambition waa to learn the business." "And the grandson?"' . "He wants to forget the business** ?Kansas City Journal. . . .. I J iook .to oiocjc in ?. "Bodwin is the most thoroughly \ optimistic fellow I ever met. You*?e noticed his unfailing smile, haven't "\you? Well, his wife tells me that lie even smiles in his sleep." \ 'ja \ "Say. that ain't a smile. It's facial paralysis."?New York Journal. Easy. ,V| "Do you, thjnk you can make daughter hpppy?" asked Mr. Cumrcu^HH "She has been happy with hasn't she?" rejoined the confl<^^^^9R i minK su. sir. toB^ng "WelJ, if she's that easy to ple^^BHH there ought to bs no difficulty.^^H^9 Washington Star. HHR^H The Equality of Man. Spinner (who is doing a little rassing)?"But, aw, my good felloSM^B you don't mean to say that you wouJ^^^^H do away with the?aw?upper classt^^^M altogether, what?" Toiler ? "Corse L would. wot's the use 6' the bloomin' uppei^JHn (lasses ter the bloomin' likes o' youj^BH an' me?"?The Tatler. Doing Very Well. "How's your son making oat business?" asked the first capitalist. "Very well, indeed." replied ! other; "he's got a quarter of a ion." i "Why. you started him with a | icn, didn't you?" "Yes, and it's two months now JH since he started operations in WaJFl^^BH