University of South Carolina Libraries
r L (a THE MCCORMICK ADVANCE. DEVOTED TO THE GENERAL WELFARE. — VOLUME II. McCORMICK, S. C., THURSDAY. DECEMBER 16, 1886. NUMBEK 39. It is suggested that a reunion of the dethroned—or uncrowned—royal per sonages of Europe would be an interest ing event. The group would include Isabella and Don Carlos, of Spain; Eu genie, “Plon-Plon,” and the Count du Paris, of France; the Duke of Cumber land (King of Hanover), and Alexander of Bulgaria. A statistic gatherer volunteers this in formation : Baltimore has fewer colored people than New Orleans, and 5,000 more than Washington. Baltimore and Washington together havo 102,000 col ored people, and Philadelphia has 32,- 000; Richmond, Virginia, 28,000; the little city of Petersburg, 12,900; Charles ton, 27,000; Louisville, 21,000; New York city, not 20,000. The Xenia (Ohio) Gace'te proudly an nounces that in that neighborhood twen ty adjoining farms are the property of as many widows. A person could begin at sunrise, and, by steady walking from one farm to another keep going till late in the day, and not in all that time place his foot upon an acre of soil absolutely owned by any man. These farms, in the hggegato, comprise somewhere in the neighborhood of 4,000 acres. With but three exceptions the premises are occu pied by their respective owners. CHRISTMASTIDE. Judea’s hills are bleak and bare And Jordan’s stream runs low, Their riches, all mankind may share, Still have tnoir endless flow. The star that shone in lonely ray Giowed for remotest ages, when It told the lesson all may say, Of “peace on earth, good will to men. 1 * Its golden glories still abide In love to all each Christmastide. Judea’s hills are bleak and bare And Jordan’s stream runs low, But east and west in every air Their incense breezes blow, Outpoured for all with bounteous hand From heaven’s full storehouse then, A golden text for every land Of “peace on earth, good will to men,* At once their hope, their joy, their pride, This blessing of each Christmastide. Judea’s hiils are bleak and bare And Jordan's stream runs low. But lands more blest and skies more fair, Waves that a3 sweetly flow, Are not, and have not e’er been known, To History’s faithful pen Since that glad light upon them shone Of “peace on earth, good will to men?” Life’s sin an 1 hate to override In love and peace each Christmastide. / v —Henry Armstrong. The Tilden heirs have decided that it would be the best plan to close Grcy- stoue for awhile, and so the house in which Mr. Tilden died has been put in shape for the winter, and is now in the hands of Mr. Tilden’s old and faithful servants, who have been in his employ for years, while the family have re turned to their respective homes. It has not been decided yet what disposition will be made of Greystone or the Gram- crcy Park residence, and many are the theories advanced as to their probable disposition. A visit to the cemetery shows that some kind hands have kept Mr. Tilden’s grave covered with flow- era. The monument will not be erected until next spring, as it will net be com pleted until late in the autumn or early in the winter. - JIM'S CHRISTMAS. More and more Japanese are coming to this country every year, and they are usually of an excellent order. They are mostly between fifteen and twenty-five years old, and of the middle class, such lers, shopkeeper^, etc. 'All of them are to an extent educated .When they arrive, in consequence of tbfc com pulsory lav^of educat'on in the empire. Their chief object in coming is to gain a complete education and to study the manners and customs of the Republic, which they rightly regard as very prac tical. A large part of them, on their re turn, obtain remunerative employment; the ^%£t that they have served an ap prenticeship in the United States putting a premium on their servicos. According to the New York Commercial Advertis r, “the bulk of Japanese on our soil will compare most favorably with the native inhabitants of the same grade. They are, as a rule, far more gentle, consider ate, polite and wonderfully apt in ac quiring new ideas. They have made more progress in the last half century than any people under the sun.” The slow but sure precesses of the last few years looking to the extinction of the American buffalo have been a source of regret. The Nat’onal Museum at Washington, realizing that the matter of extinction was merely a question of time,recently sent the chief taxidermist, Mr. William T. Homaday, to obtain specimens for preservation before it was too late. It is believed by the best author ities that there are not more than 100 buffaloes in the whole of Montana out side of the National Park, where there are probably 200 or 300. The party started from Fort Keogh, crossed to Big Dry River, and then followed Big Tim ber Creek and Mussel Shell River. It was believed that by so doing all of the buffalo feeding-ground would be trav ersed. A small herd of a dozen or more is known to be in Southwestern Dakota. That the buffalo has p&actioally disap peared from our praries may be inferred from the above. Skins of buffalo heads are now held by Dakota taxidermists at $50 each, and it is safe to assume that they have given up hopes of obtaining more. Mr. Homaday has been quite successful in his trip and has secured some specimens for the museum. It is a wonder that some stepi are not taken by private or public enterprise to preserve from utter extinction an animal so useful. It is said that the quality of the hair can be greatly improved by cul tivation and proper breeding, and it would seem that some steps taken in time might prove most advantageous ulti mately. In this connection Sciene notes that Mr. 8. L. Bedson of Manitoba be came possessed of a young buffalo bull and four heifer calves, which have so in creased that he now' has eighteen bulls, twenty-five cows, and eighteen calves, which are all thoroughbreds. On crossing with ordinary cattie thi half- breed possesses the chara teristics of the thoroughbred, save color. On crossing a thoroughbred bull with half-breed cows he has grown three-quarter breeds closely resembling the buffalo, the head emd robes being the equal if not-superior. Experiments to improve the flesh are now in course, and it is expected to ful ly develop in the new animal the strong points oS nobis head, pelt, and flesh. A HOLIDAY STORY. It was Christmas Eve, and despite a bitter, piercing wind, the Bowery was one moving mass of humanity, laden with basket-i and packages containing all sorts of good tilings, or bent upon pur chasing, or seeking one of the many en tertainments offered on this thoroughfare of all nationalities, which has no coun terpart unless it may be found in the Whitechapel Road of I oudon, England. Mingling among this crowd of buyers and pleasure-seekers, were many who could but look and long. Children whose only glimpse of Christmas was the gayly ducked stores, or a whiff of the goodies permeating the frosty night air from some coolcshop. Many a dirty, lit tle, eager face, was pressed tight against a window pane, taking in with evident satisfaction these meagre scrapings of Christmas vouchsafed them. Outside of one of these J owery cook shops, where cakes, pies, etc., were being rapidly passed over the counter to their respect ive purchasers, st< od a boy of probably twelve or thirteen years, whose dark eyes appeared unusually large by leason of his thin, white checks, and unkempt locks, flow the few rags he wore held to rn ther was known only to themselves, for the wind teemed as if determined to rend them asunder every t mu it took it into its head tc blow in their direction. Hungrily the boy watched the toothsome dainties, as he sniffed eagerly of the kitchen’s odors that arose from below, starving amid plenty. The throngs jo-tled each other as they passed to and fro, but the boy still kept his stand, as if fascinated by the sight of so much brightness and good cheer. Close beside him shivered the skin and bones of a cur, who was the owner of the scraggiest of coats, while rno of his ears was en tirely gone, and if he had ever possessed a waggable appendage, the smallest apol ogy of a stub was all that remained to tell the tale. Yet no human eyes could have expressed more affection than those of this dumb brute, as he gazed wistfully at his young master, and stro-e to heat with his warm tongue the boys’ chilled hands. And his love was not misplaced, for with a enress of the dog’s homely coat, the boy said : “It’s Christmas, to-morrow, Sandy, and there'll perhaps be no end of boues fur ye in the ash barrels. Do you re member the nice dinner wc had last week?” The stub wagged a responsive yes atul the boy continued, half to him self and half to his four footed friend. “I’ve often been thinking why there's so many folks that has such a heap of thing-, and others like me and you, Sandy, as has nothing; but I carn’t come at the bottom of t. Now there's Nat, he’s a prig and a liar, and he's to have a regular blow out to-morrow, down at old Mother Mowleys. Now if I was a prig, but ye see. 8andy, I don’t know how it is, but I was never no good at stealing. They say I'm too afeered of the cops. It ain’t that, and I don’t know as I know what it is, but I carn’t do’t *» “Here, sonny, do you want to earn ten cents.” The boy’s burst of confidence was cut short by the abivc question. As he turned, a comely, mothferly looking woman confronted him. On her arm was a big basket bursting out all over with good things, while a tat turkey pro truded its long legs with a defiant air, and refused to allow the lid to be closed. A little boy and girl, aged respectively feven and five, cl mg to either side of the thick, warm shawl worn by this pleasant voiced woman, both hugging parcels with their di-engaged hand. “If you’d like to earn ten cents, sonny, by helpiug me carry this basket to Sev- entee ith street and Avenue B, why I’ll be right glad to have you. It’s a little more than I can manage alone, I find, since I had the rhc.imatics in my arm.” A look of genuine pity shone in the woman’s eyes as she note! the boy's pinched cheeks and ragged apparel. Then as she glanced from him to her own warmly clad little ones, her compas sion grew apace, and she stopped him as he eagerly held out his hands for the basket, saying: * I’d be glad of the ob, ma’am.” A look of intense disappoint ment crossed the boy’s face, ten cents meant so much to him, but in a moment it changed to one of surprise, as the woman,turning into the cook shop, said: “I guess we ll all be the better for a bite, and sup of something this cold night. Come, sonny, and tuck in a bit of strength so you'll be better able to bear a hand with the basket.” “Me. ma'am!” ejaculated the boy, at this unexpected kindness. “Why, of course; come right along. I.or’, child, it’s Christmas Eve, and it comes but once a year.” Into the warmth and brightness and good cheer the lad stepped, closely fol lowed by Sandy, whose bright eyes and stubby ncse wore an air of puzzled in quiry. Feeling ns if it were all a dream, and that he would awake in a moment to find himself ou'side in the cold again, this poor waif sip e 1 his hot coffee and ate of the bread and butter Mid meat that was plentifully supplied him, slyly now and again chucking bits to his dumb friend, who kept close beneath his mas ter's chair, until his kind benefactress, catching him in the act, e aculated: “For mercy sake, child! what are you doing?” It flashed across her that perhaps the boy was an imposter, and not being hun gry, was disposing of the meat in that way in order to deceive her. But in his pale cheeks there crept the quick color as he answered: “If you please, ma’am, it’s Sandy. I couldn't eat and he go without.” At the mention of his name Sandy crawled with a half apologetic air from beneath the chair. “Is that how it is? Here, waiter, bring a plate full of meat and bones for this dog,” and this whole-souled woman gazed compassionately upon the half- starved beast. Such a thumping as Sandy thereupon set up with his stub of a tail, any oue to have seen it would have doubted its ability to create such a commotion. “Lor’ bless me? the critter acts as if he understood,” and kindly Mrs. Chris tian patted Sandy’s rough coat, where upon he, being a very intelligent dog who knew as well as his bettors how to appreciate a kindness, immediately of fered his paw, causing the two children —Eddie and Rosie—to laugh merrily, in which their mother good-naturedly joined, and even Jim—that was the poor boy’s name—warmed by the good fare, found himself actually laughing heartily too. Before Avenue B was reached that night kind Mrs. Christian had learned the little there was to tell of Jim’s his tory. A New York waif, homeless and friendless, living as he best could. As far as he remembered, no on<^liad ever given him a kind word until this night, and a feeling of wondering admiration grew in his heart for this motherly woman who had so kindly befriended him. Up two flights of one of the better class of tenement-houses Jim helped with the basket, and was rewarded with the nicest smile he thought he had ever seen, followed by the words: “There, sonny, there’s your ten eents and a bit over, seeing its Christmas eve;” and while Jim stood gazing at the silver quarter placed in his hand, too much surprised to speak his thanks, sheadded: “Come round to-morrow about one o’clock, and I guess there'll be a bit of the turkey left, and Sandy, poor doggie, he shall have his Christmas, too.” “Please, ma’am,” Jim managed at last to blurt out, “perhaps if I come round a bit early I mignt be able to give you a hand at sumat. I can do lots of things, and—and I d like to fur yc.” Something in the boy's wistful face went straight to Mrs. Christian's w'arm heart, and smiling through the tears that clouded her eyes, she answered: “That’s right; always try to work vour way and be independent.^ So come psrly, and I’ll warrant yen’ll (earn jo'ui- ainner.” Then with a nod and a smile she bade him good-night. it was late that t hristmas eve before Mrs. Christian’s numerous duties were accomplished. So many little things there were to do that only it mother’s loving hands could rightly fashion. The'', there was Tom, her husband, who had been working late at an extra job, he kad to have his bit of supper and smoke, and of course hear all his wife had to tell of poor Jim and how her heart had gone out to him in his poverty and lonel ness. “Weel, Mary,” said her “gudeman,” his genial face expanding in a smile, “you’re always right, nud I guess you’re so now. Howsomever, we'll give him one good feed, and as yc say, it looks weel for the lad a offering to earn his dinner.” Only to God alone was ever known of how that Christmas eve a sorrowing mother lovingly pressed a little worn frock to her quivering lips ns she mur mured : “My baby Jim! and he would have been just about his age, if he had ’yc lived.” Then, as she tenderly ret irncd her treasure to its hiding place, she con tinued: * ‘ I’ll do it, if Tom will let me. No home, no mother, no one to care for him. It plight have been my Jim, or Ed die or Rose. Perhaps it's the name that draws me so toward him. Anyway, I can t help it—and we’ll never miss the bit aud sup.” Such warmth and kindness and savory odors as Jim found himself amid that Christmas day! He did his best, poor lad, in honor of the occasion by present ing himself with face and hands as clean as soap and water could make them, and hair in such a state of slick ness that poor Sandy was forced to indulge in an extra sniff of his young master to convince hiiu- self that he ha 1 not made a mistake. How Mrs. Christiau contrived on such short not'ce to procure a suit of cloth s that, if they were a trifle large and some what worn, transform 'd .lira into quite a handsome little fellow, was known oniy to her kiudly heart. And the warm flannels—there was no oue to tell of the pitying fingers that had fashioned them so early that bright Christmas morn. And Jim—did he ever forget that Christmas day, the flr-t real one ne h id ever known. And when he was told that he need never go back to the cold and the hunger again; that if he wished he could become one of this happy h <u e- hold, he was spec- bless from sheer be wilderment at the dazzling prospe t, un til Sandy, perhaps, fearing it a 1 boded no good to him, gave vent to a prolonged howl; whereupon, with a big gu'p, as if to choke back the tears that filled his eyes, Jim an-w re 1: “Please, nn'nin, don’t think hard of me, but I couldn't do’t. Yersce, he was sicii a little ’uu, when I saved him from being throttled bv Mike i lint, an 1 his leg was broke; but lie was tbit, smart, and he's stuck to me iver since. Sict friends as we’ve been, miYm, 1 couldn’t go back on him now. lie's all the friend I iver knew till i see you ma'am. I hope ye won’t think me ungrateful, and if ye'll give me a job row a d agin I’ll only lie too thankful, and lur all ye’ve done. I cannot say it rightly, but I feel it, ma’am, 1 do.” Here, with a siight catching of his breath, Jim paus 'd, and hugging Sandy, who had crept into his arms, cl so t > his breast, h.c awaited h's dismissal. Two mothe ly ban.Is we c laid loving ly upon the boy’s shoulders, as in tones t iat slightly tr mbled Mrs. Christian laid: “Did you think, sonny, we would be grudge the bit and s into the poor beast? uf course he’s to stay,’ too, ami it will be his own fault if he goes without, when there’s plenty for him. Isn’t it so, Tom?” And Mrs. Christian turned smilingly to her husband, who, holding out an en couraging hand to Jim, answered: “You do as the wife says, lad, and ye can’t go far wrong.” And thus it was Jim and Sandy became members of the family. jJ: He * * a|e sfc Ten yean had come and gone since the Christmas day that Mrs. Christian took Jim to her heart and home. Up in Harlem there is a cosy little house. Tifls night the snow decks like a bridai-wCil each tree and shrub of the pretty garden attached, which, were it summer, would be gay with many a delicate blossom. Shall we peep in? The blind the lit tle window is drawn up. Such a pretty, home like picture does it reveal this New Year’s Eve. A sweet, kindly- faced woman, whose silvery hair is par tially hidden by a soft mull cap, sits in a low rocker, busily knitting a zephyr-like article with bright colored yarns. The soft light of the student lamp falls upon the bright, expressive face of a youth of about seventeen years, who is playing checkers with a very pretty girl s me two years his junior. A cottage piano stands invitingly opens, while be fore the grate, where glows a glorious fire, lies stretched a dog. Surely we havo 6een him before, although his red dish brown coat was not then thickly streaked with gray. Suddenly the dog’s one ear is cocked, and he rises and hob bles as fast as hiB stiff joints will allow to the door, uttering a feeble bark. A ringing step sounds outside, then a latch key turns in the lock, and a second after ward a young man enters the room with: “Well, Sandy, old fellow,” and as he stoops to pat the dog, the young girl, with an impulsive cry, springs up, ex claiming: “Jh, Jim, tell us all about it! I’m dying to know.” Smiling, he gives her delicate little ear a pinch, as he an swers : “The mother first, Rosie;” then, kneel ing beside the elderly lady, whose eyes are bent fondly upon him, he continues, with: “Mother, congratulate your son; he is now junior member of the firm, and on the high road to fortune.” “R< sic, do you think we’ll be allowed to call him Jim any longer. I’m sadly afraid wc shall have to take a back seat,” and with a lugubrious sigh, the boy sank as if overcome into his chair. “How ridiculous you are, Edd'e, just as if Jim, dear old Jim, would be auy different if he were the firm itself,” re plied the young girl, half laughing. The mother’s trembling hands are laid caressingly upon the broad shoulders of the young man, as in a voice full of emo tion she murmurs: “God bless aud prosper and reward you, my son, for all the loving care you have given the children and* me the-e years since their father ^ipd. for 1 ^ever “Mother! look back and think of the little waif you took to your heart and home. Can he ever repay all the moth erly love you lavished upon him. Do you think it is nothiug to him to have a home, brother, sister and you, my mother:” A peal of bells is borire lightly toward them on the night air, and as they die softly away, Jim cries cheerily: “A Happy New Year to our home.” BUDGET0F FUN. HUMOROUS SKETCHES PROM VARIOUS SOURCES. Not Her First Appearance—A Fa ther’s Precaution—The Washing ton Dude—A Skeleton Feast— A Powerful Bottle, Etc. Lawyer (to timid young woman;— “Have you ever appeared as witness in a suit before?” Young woman (blushing)—“Y-yes, sir, of course.” Lawyer—“Please state to the jury what suit it was.” Young woman (with more confidence) —“It was a nun’s veiling, shirred down the front and trimmed with a lovely blue, with hat to match ” Judge (rapping violently)—“Order in the court!”—Neat York Sun. A Father’s Precaution. Youth—“I have come to ask you for the hand of your daughter.” Physician—“You have?” Y.—“Yes, sir. I have enough of this world’s goods to support her in comfort, even in luxury.” P. — “Yes, I am aware of that; but will you treat her kindly? Will you be a gentle husbaud:” Y.—“Sir, I vow ” P.—Oh, never mind vowing. Your inteutions are all right, no doubt; but I mu t be sure that you won’t worry and fret the life out of her after you get her. Take off your coat and let me sound you to see what kind of a liver you’ve got.” —Tid-Bits. The Washington Dude. Scene—F-street car, Saturday after noon. Dramatis Personae—Three young ladies, Treasury clerks, and an ultra-ex quisite dude, strangers all around. Dude, to young lady nearest fare-box —“Aw, may I twouble you, Miss, to pwas my fwaiah,” handing the young lady a quarter, which she “dwops” into into tho “bwox.” Dude fidgets about a few moments, and then addressing the young lady, says: “Aw, pawdon me, Miss, but that was a qwartah you dwopped iu the bwox.” Young lady, graciously—“Oh, was it? Well, I guess they’ll let you ride for a quarter.” Dude sucks his cane and tries to think. — Washington Criti-. One Side of the Question. “I see,” said a man, addressings com panion, “lhat a writer in the Scientific American says that laughter prolongs life.” “How does he explain his theory?” “Well, I don’t exactly know, but he says that it starts into circulation little hidden particles of blood which would otherwise remain dormant. Then he goes on humorously to say that the time may come when physicians will prescribe so many laughs to be taken so mr ny hours apart.” ‘ 1 dare say, but how do you suppose the physician could produce laughter at a stated time. It wouldn’t do to give the patient laughing gas for that produces anger more often than it does mirth.” “That’s a fact. How would it do to read extracts from political platforms?” “Might do very well.” “Say, I believe that laughing docs prolong life. I’ll give you an instance. Some time ago. when 1 was in San An tonio, I saw two men engaged in a quar- icl. One of them, Zib Lock, drew a pistol and told Bob Foster that his time was come. Instead of becoming excited, Foster said: ‘Now wait a minute, Zib, cr haw, haw. Don t you—ter he, he— recollect the time when we went over to see old Miller’s daughters' Well, sir— haw, haw—I thought I would kill my self laughing,’ and then he laughed up- roarouslv. Zib, overcome by astonish ment at this untimely mirth, lowered his pistol, and. quicker than a bass striking a t.oll, Poster snatched the weapon and killed Zib. So, you see, this is nn argument in favor of laughter, for it saved Foster’s life.” “Yes, but it killed the other fellow, for, don't you see, it enabled Foster to shoot him. ” “That’s a fact. I expect, after all, it is a little dangerous. It’s the way with those scientific writers, though. They never take up but one side of a question. —Arkansaio Traveler. A Powerful Bottle. The following story is told of the gen eral traffic mauager of a Southern rail road. Some time ago, as he was returu- to New York from the South, the train on which he was riding stopped at Eliza beth, ansf^lamong tho passengers who boarded it was a richly-dressed lady, who ^entered the pHr la ■vVLic'h he oat had anx iously glancuH mrftimd 1 for a seat. The train was crowded, and Mr. O. immedi ately arose and gave the lady his, the outer half of the seat, and stood in the aisle near by. When Newark was reached the gentleman who occupied the other half got out and left the car. The lady at once arose, as if to give Mr. O. his portion of the seat, shook out her skirts, seated herself again with her back to the aisle, and put her little hand satchel on the other half of the seat. By this time many of the passeugers had become in terested in the situation. When the train reached that portion of the meadows between Newark and Jersey City on which the phosphate works are situated the terrible stench, so familiar to those who habitually travel on the Pennsylvania and Morris and Essex railroads, pen etrated the cars. Quick as thought, the lady seized her satchel, got out a bottle of smelling salts and clapped it to her nose. Mr. O. saw this, and, leaning over, he said to a couple of gentlemen in the seat immediately behind her: “ Gentlemen, what in the name of heaven has that woman got in that bottle? ” The lady instantly turned, and said: “It is not this bottle, sir, which smells.” Amid the universal laughter he retired to another car, but not until he had shot back: “Madam, as long as I live I’ll never forget the smell from that bot tle. ”—Harper's Magazine. Jim—“I ain’t done—quit that nowl Maw, make Tom quite tryin’ to cut me with his old toe nail.” Mother—“Tommie, behave yourself.” Tom—“Ain't doin’ nothin’, maw.” Jim—“Are too, maw.” Tom—“Ain’t—ouch! Maw, Jim’s a piuchin’ me.” Mother—“Go to sleep this minute or I’ll come there and whip you both. Not another word out of you. Just another word if you dare.” .Tim—“Gimme my pillow.” Tom—“Take your old pillow. Ouch! Maw, Jim’s a kickin’ me.” Mother—“Didn’t I tell you I’d whip you? Nevermind, you shan’t go down town with me to-morrow.”—Arkansaw Traveler. Facts About Wigs. The proprietor of a hair-dressing es tablishment which is very largely patron ized by ladies of this city, when asked about wigs, said that with the latest im provements in that article, whether worn from necessity or for appearances, it is possible now to produce head coverings to take the place of hair which will baffle even a close inspection In addition to this, convenience and comfort are also now taken into consideration by the wig maker, and the “latest thing” is de scribed as “light, graceful and conven ient.” When asked if it was not neces sary to personally measure the head and t ike its shape in order to make a wig to fit “perfectly,” as is guaranteed, the re porter’s informant said that it was not; that if certain measurements were fol lowed carefully, that was all that was necessary. These measurements are: No. 1. Around the head, on a line where the forehead ends and the hair begins down over the ear to tho upper end of the ne k. No. 2. From the hair on the forehead straight back over the top of the head to the nape of the neck. No. 3. From ear to ear across tho forehead. No. 4. From ear to ear across the crown. No. 5. From temple to temple around the back of the bead. For gentlemen’s toupe s a paper pat tern should be cut the exact size of the bald spot and fitted to the head smoothly by taking in the p iper on the edges and fastening the folds with a pin. The in structions that must accompany the measurements are Interesting. Ladies’ wigs are always made with the parting or seam in the ceutre unless especially ordered otherwise. Gentlemen must be particular to state at which side they desire the seam or parting, and it must always be remarked whether the hair is to be curly or straight. The cost of a wig varies from $8 to $200 according to color, length, fineness of hair and quality of workmanship. The most costly are made on a foundation of hair lace. Each hair is carefully selected and knotted to a mesh of the lace. Such a one is an “invisible wig.” It can be parted any where like natural hair. An extra fine full wig. with twenty inch hair naturally -Wrrtyv costs #88. -*tV lads?** invisible?day wig costifrom $50, to $150. A Indy’s full invisible wig, in fine blonde, drab, auburn, gray or white, of any length of hair up to thirty-six inches, costs from $123 to $200. A fea ture of the business is the ladies’ half wig. A great many women, it is stated, have an abundant growth of hair on the back of fhe head, while little or none remains in front or on the top. To part with the natural hair on the back of the head, so a> to admit the adjustment of a wig, very few feel inclinol to do. " It is in order to accommodate ladies thus af flicted that the half wig has been made. They cost from $10 to $30.—New York Mail and Express. AUTUMN TO SPRING- I wish the stately golden-rod Might kiss tho littlo wind-flower sweet* That asters might to cowslips nod, Aud eyebrigbfc run in haste to greet The violet from the April sod— So once the fall and spring might meet I wish my Little Self and I Might sometime cross each other’s way. My Little Self is wondrous shy; I cannot meet her any day, Howe’er I search, howe'er I pry About these meadows autumn-gay. The runaway, the teasing elf! She flits where woodfand blossoms drift: She has a world of pretty pelf 8he gathered from the ripples swift; Such joys she has—my Little Self Will not he lured by any gift She’s light as bird upon the wing, Her cheeks and eye3 are all aglow. To me what gladness she could bring! To her I should be strange, I know. My Little Self holds fast the spring, And autumn will not let me got Yet still I wish the golden-rod Might kiss the little wind-flower sweet That asters might to cowlips nod, And eyebright run in haste to greet The violet from the April sod— But fall aud spring can never meet! —Edith M. Thomas, in St. Nicholas. PITH AND POINT. -Put up. when an oyster gets it is as elastic as a -Norristown Herald. ought to take Can- Mexico in the other i together.—Burling- It Never Failed Yet. They were old friends, and had been sweethearts in their younger days. There was silver in her hair and snow on hi», and they sat and talked of old times when they were vouug. Thcy'did not say how many years ago the adventures happened. They did net speak of dates. It wai ‘ when we were young.” Their first meeting, their first quarrel, their last ki'S, their last quarrel were all gone over Perhaps they both warmed a lit tle over the Tcoollcctions. At last he said: “Ay. Jennie, an' I hae na loved any body since you. I hae never forgotten you.” “John,” she said, with a little moisten ing of the eye, “you’re just as big a lcear as ever—an’ I believe ye jist the same.” —Detroit Free Pres . A Skeleton Feast. Bliggins—“Hullo, there’s Wiggins. Queer fellow, Wiggins. Do you know kim? ” Spriggins—“No. He’s a queer-look ing chap, though.” Bliggins—“^ueer? Well, I should say so. And he’s always doing the queerest, most eccentric things. Now, what do you suppose he did last week?” Spriggins—“Blessed if I Jcnow. What was it? ” Bliggins—“Well, now, you’d hardly believe it, but that man got up a skeleton fea 4 t.” Spriggins—“Skeleton feast? What's that?”' Bliggins—“Why, skeleton feast, you know. Most eccentric idea. Had a big dinner down at his house—nobody in vited but me—and had seven skeletons arranged in chairs around the table.” “Sprigg'ns—“Horrible! I don’t be lieve you enjoyed your dinner much.” Bliggins—“Well, I did, though. About as much as I ever enjoyed auy dinner in my life.” “Spriggins—“You don’t mean it! What, with seven skeletons sitting at the table with you! Heavens, mau, it would drive me mad!” Bliggius—“Oh, no. Split Teii-l)ollnr Notes. A new departure in the matter of coun- terfeitiug money was brought to light at the United States Sub-Treasury in Balti more a few days ago. A somewhat worn ten-dollar Government bill was pre sented at the cashier’s window with a re quest for change, which was given. Tho note was sent to Washington as muti lated currency, aud was returned with the information that one side of the note : was good, but the other side was a well | executed counterfeit of the original. It I was found that a genuine ten-dollar bill had been split, the face being separated | from the back, a seemingly impossible j undertaking. The original face with a counterfeit back had been used, and it is quite likely that the genuine back with a well executed countcrfe t face has been passed in some other quarter. More re cently another ten dollar “front” was presented at the cashier's window with a similar re piest for change. The clerk at the window, suspecting the bill, told the man who haufled it in to wait a mo ment until he could consult l)r. Bishop, the Sub-Treasurer. Dr. Bishop recog nized iu the note the familiar game, and said it was worth just $5. When the clerk returned to the window the man had left without waiting for his change. The Sub-Treasury, which was out $5 on the first transaction, was evened up by the second.—Ballbnore Sun. Spriggy, my old boy. An Object Lesson. School Teacher—“Now which of you ian tell me what goes round and round and yet ought to be level?” Gertie—“I know.” Scho l Teacher—-“You may answer, Bertie ’ * Bcrtio~P‘Ma tays pa’s head, it wouldn’t, I It didn’t me. \ Didn’t you know that Wiggips had a | pretty wife and six lovely daughters? I They made up the party. And they all brought their skeletons with them.”— I Summerville Jam n l. Motherly Firmness. Two boys in bed. Jim (to Torn!— “Take your old feet away, now.” Jim — “Ain’t hurtin’ you.” Tom—“You are gettin’ over on my place.” Jim—“Ain't.” Tom—“Are.” Jim—“Story.’' Mother—“Children, go to sleep.” Tom—“Jim keeps ou a puttin’ his old feet on me.” Jim—“Ain’t, maw.” Mother—“Jimmie, take your feet away.” .Tim —“Ouch! Maw, Tom pinched me.” Tom—“Didn’t, maw.” Mother—“If you don’t go to sleep I’ii come there an’ whip you both.” Good Qualities of the Oyster. “It is all nonsense about a steady diet on oysters being in jurious to the system,” said a wealthy Thirty-fourth street phy sician to a reporter the other day. “Many persons think so, however. It : may be true that oysters do not produce j the most plea' ant results when cooked in a rich style aud eaten just before going to bed. When taken with wine late at ! night, of course, if there is any bad ef- feet the next day the oysters are blamed j for it. Oysters have excellent medicinal j qualities, are nutritious, and when I plainly cooked or eaten raw are very wholesome, especially so in eases of indi gestion, and that is something that can not be said of any other alimentary sub- j stance. During my experience 1 have I found in several cases where oysters have been taken daily they have done mueli ' toward curing tlie patient. Invalids have ! discovered in oysters the required ali- 1 merit, bes’des being by far the most : agreeable food to take. Raw oysters, too, are said to be good tor hoarseness, | although I have never tested their merits j on that point. It is my belief that the ; oyster is the most healthful article of food known to man.”—New York Mail j and Express. A newly-formed church among the I Zulus has the following among its regu- 1 lations: “No member shall be permitted j to drink the white man’s grog or native beer, nor to touch it with his lips.” A striking figure- A dealer says that to be five years old clam. 1 his is tough. - The United States ada in one hand and and bang their heads 1 ton Free Press. A leading fashion paper announces, “The hair is now worn on top of the head.” We shall continue^to wear ours about the temples. — Call. “Garments without buttons” are ad vertised. Evidently the cast-off clothing of bachelors who don’t know how to handle thread and needle.—Norristown llet aid. THE DIFFERENCE. ‘‘Doctor, this difference I see v Twixt you and me, look as I will: When l treat you I pay the bill— I pay the bill woen you treat me. —Judge. A Waterbary five-year old at the sup per table Hist evening set down a cup of milk, which he had raised to his lijps, with the remark: “Mamma, I believe the milkman has a sour cow.”—Hart ford Times. “Can you tell me anything about the postage-stamp flirtation?” asks a sub scriber. Certainly. When he writes to you and puts two stamps on a one-stamp letter, he,loves you. When he puts one stamp unaTWrtlUpip letter, he likes you; aud-whfin_hfe leav«, gether, he lover another.—Puck. He was an Englishman, and he found * a uew grievance against California. He was much impressed with the country and its productions. He was very enthusiastic until they showed him a pumpkin weighing 155 pounds. “This is too much, don’t you know,” he said, with an injured air. “A pumpkin 155 pounds! Hang it, I only weigh 135 my self.”—San Francisco Chronicle. Kunior in Children, At what age is a sense of humor usual ly developed? It very rarely exists in children under twelve. The funny things that small children say are not funny to them; the odd and startling questions they ask have to them no ele ment of the incongruous. It is usually only when they lose the faculty cf mak ing edd or deep observations that they begin to see any humor iu them. Much of Iheir apparent brightness comes from ignorance of the true relation of things. A couple of incidents illustrate this. A gentleman iu Massachusetts who was born for a soldier, but bad never the op portunity to indulge himself in this ca pacity. was made a member of the Gov ernor's staff. He at once procured a uniform that for gold and gorgeousness surpa-sed anything ever seen in the mili tia. Arrayed in this dazzling costume, he called one evening at a house to ac company a young lady to a reception. The little girl of the family, who was above-stairs watching the progress of her sister's toilet, ran to the balustrade and peeped over when the bell rang, and sa«> this Resplendent Being enter the ha’l. •' “Who is it, Joe?” cried the sister. “I don’ know,” replied the apprecia tive child—“I don' know, but I think it is God.” The other incident may be called more subjective. A lady one day drove to the house of a clergyman who served a large parish, a :d of cou se was frequently sent for to attend funerals. While the car riage was waiting, the coachman took up one of the children of the family, a boy of three years, and drove round tho squire. When he was set down, the boy marched into the parlor, and, by way of acknowledgment, said to the lady: “Aunt Lu, I've been ridin’ in your funeral.”—Harj er. Crater Lake in Southern Oregon, is over two thousand feet eat iu America. deep- -the deep- The Beautiful City of Montreal. The present C.itv of Montreal covers an area of about eight square miles, its leading streets running parallel with the river. A magui 'cent tract of country watered by the: tt iwa and St. f.awreaco rivers stretcher away from the city on either side, making a panorama from the mountain summit whose beauty is un rivaled. The city is lea'.ly on an island some thirty m les long and t* n wide, justly called the i arden of Canada. Its situation gives it great c ommccial op portunity. Situated at the head cf ocean navigation, its harbor floats not on y the limited commerce of the river, but ships whose flags te l of sailing on sdl the waters of the globe. The current of the river is very rapid, rushing past the city with a speed of at leas! seven miles au hour, giving thus a natural wa'er power th t turns the wheels of countless factories and mills along its banks for inile3 above the city. — Chicago He: al l. A Boston physician thinks he has run across the longest word iu use in the English language. He found it in a med ical journal, the word being the chemical terminology for cocaine: Methylben- zomethoxyethy Retrain'd ropy ridiue arbo- xylate. There are fifty-t wo letters iu the word.