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f *. . ' W* - - ,<s J* THE NEW w SOUTH. " ~f. _* ; " ., vy. Vol. 2, No. 33. Port Royal, S. C., Saturday, April 23, 1864. Whole No. 85. <$hc Jew JSoutft. PUBLISHED EVERY SATVRPAY MORXISO BY J. H. SEARS, Editor and Proprietor. PllICE: One Copt tive wn? I'M Hl'NDlCtP, $3 50. TUIUIK Months 0 50. TERMS CASH. Advertisements Twenty-Five Cents per line for each insertion. Office, Phoenix Building, Union Square adjoining I\/tl Qffice. TO A 131RD. From the sunny Southern land. From the land of vine and palm, Leaves by tropic breezes fanned, Myrtle bowers and groves of balm, Islands of ths far off main, Thou hast corns to us again. Though as yst the April showers, Hardly have awaited the dead ; Though as yet the sweet May flowers, Vn tti? aun-shine lift their head : * I have heard thy aong to day, Sweet forerunner of the May. Little prophet of the Spring, Whose the hand that led thy flight* In thy ceaseless journeying, Whose hand guided the aright? Over seas and solitudes, Back unto thy nativo woods f ?fr>re is over all, He, who hears the raveii'S crr~ - * He, Who marks the sparrow's fall: A id shall yet forsaken die 1 Will He be our guide and stay Through the perils of the way ? Let us learn of thee tb trust. In the darkest, saddest day, Looking upward rrom mc uu?, Looking onward to the May, Knowing how the April showers Bring the sunshine and the flower*. [By Telejraph From Fori Fulaski.] The Tooth-l'ick Club. 12 m.?The arrival of the distinguished members of the Tooth-Fick Club is anxiously awaited by all. The arrangements for their reception are complete in every particular. If the sun continues to shed ?>;? lirriif. nnd tlift creat erlobe doesnol "&"*? * O o cease to revolve, this day will ever be remembered as one of the brightest it our liistory. The ceremonies of the gr^nd fete will commence immediate!} after the steamer bearing the Tooth-pickians shall have reached a point in the rive: one mile below the Fort. 12,30 p.m.?The man on flie look-oul rspjrts the appearance of an object fai down the river whicL he says must be th< expected steamer. An indiscreet chaj ha ring remarked that perhaps the objec P" the steamer, was instantly knock ed down by the look-out man, whici little episode was followed by heavy bet I ting on the part of various persons as t< the justification, under the circumstan ce3, of the tipping-over act The resul will be harmonious as the betting is ai on one side. 1 p.m.?The steamer is approachinj the Fort Nothing can be seen of th steamer itself in consequence of the pro iu<e d:splay of buntine which c#ver? th , * .L hull, deck and rigging. The captain is jerking the bell in the wildest conceivable mnnner, and at intervals the whistle shrieks forth in strains ten times more i hideous than the howl of a maddened tom-cat. To add to the general uproar the Fort is booming out an everlasting salute of two thousand tivc-hundi-ed guns, ; causing the walls to be enveloped in one i ' (vast, dense volume of smoke. J 1.30.?The steamer has touched the 1 pier. Three Tooth-pickians only?Expecto, Excuso and Expiro, are among the guests. They pledge their sacred honor, which is considered not worth a tinker's hammer, that the three remaining members of the elub will be present in season to participate in the evening festivities. The steamer's passeuger list, showing the j 1 names of fifteen gentlemen and one i I thousand ladies, causes a terrible flatter! I among the party at the Fort. The three I | Tooth-pickians have found shelter under ] j the hospitable wings of the great military! birds here assembled. The ladies, all of whom are the choicest flowers of Eden, are so captivating in beauty and grace that one ton of table salt has been or- j dercd to preserve the senses of the gen- j tlemen. 2 p. si.- -Tbo Tooth pickian* are engages^ I nivktirifl thfl T^nrt. nhsprvma! with minute attention the color, Bize and j j artistic appearance of every brick that j ?j composes that immense fabric. It is j understood in certain circles that Expccto j | is the special recorder for the club, from ! the fact that his pockets are loaded with memorandum books, pencils, pens, and pieces of chalk. Excuso exhibits a, thorough acquaintance with everything j connected with the Fort, a circumstance vrhich disposes manyjto tLe belief that he | h.ic n militnrv connection with the trarri-1 ' son. Expiro saunters along the parapet ' with liis hands locked behind hhn, and is remarked to be deeply engrossed in I scanning tlie ordnance, and at times to pick up a fuse, on the merit* of which he expatiates at great length. A few i minutes ago he became so earnest in his s explanation that one of Lis listeners turned to a friend and said "Tkisblas ted fellow, you know, became so excited, ! you know, in talking about the fuse, thal^ he punched me in the ribs and nearly t knocked the wind from me, you know.' r The Tootk-pickians are descending the i parapet for the purpose of preparing for > the banquet t 2.1o.?The Tooth-pickions crossed the - terrnplane five minutes ago. They are 11 now in the private quarters of the chid -! officer busily engaged in arranging their )! toilet and performing other customary - '< preliminaries consequent upon the ban-! i nn.i> TVirtv nlilv assisted bv one I "-"-J ?J 1 i dozen champagne, ten bottles of whisky , and two of stomach bitters. ; 2.30?The party arc beginning to feel - good. >- 3 p. m. ?The tooth-pickians with spirits e most buoyant are entering the banquet i hall A band of one hundred and fifteen live musicians stand iust without the en-1 trance and are playing on their instruments with such energy that little bits of toss can be seen fly ng through the air. The Tooth-pickians are seated at the j table. 'Jliey occupy a position three yards and two inches from the door, and about the same distance from the sidetable. They handle the knife and fork with facility, and the way the roast beef is disappearing causes the sable attendants to heave a sigh. They positively refuse to drink anything stronger than j water. Everything goes on as " memos a marriage bell." 4 p. m.?By invitation the party are , at one*of the batteries to witness the gunners bring down a squirrel eight miles distant with a 100-pounder shot The. gunners have accomplished the feat The! party retire. * 5 p. m.?Sapper 'jp announced. The j Tooth-pickians are pitching into the viands with a vengeance. 7 p. m.?Expono, Existo and Expungo have just arrived at the pi*r. They are greeted at the Fort with yells of delight [ They are surrounded by the multitude! who bear them on their shoulders to the of Ji&tte, They ore suffering from an attack of the nightmare which visited them while on the steamer. 8 p. m.?The Toath-pickians are at the Theatre. Existo, who is in the gallery, , wants to know of those in the pit if they have paid their toll. If fhe question is j repeated a knock-down figlit is iuevita-1 ble. Expiro shows signs of indisposi-; tion. Expecto is full of?of?wonder and i amazement 8.30?Expiro has been conducted to a couch. He is growing weaker, and fears are felt that he is really unwell. Expecto J has discovered a new bomb-proof con- [ taming shells of liquid fire which he fre- j qnently visits. 10 p. m.?In a hall illumined with mil <* A -1 fl ii.? I lions ui uipciap iuiu iirucvjiuj^ aum us walls costly decorations in unsurpassed1 magnificence,are assembled beautiful wo- j men and brave men. The musicians rend 1 the air with their inspiring notes, and 1 the dancers twirl and ship with rapidity : and grace. In the vast assemblage can j be seen the gallant Expungo lost to ev- i ery thing save the unbounded enjoyment which encircles him. 10.39?Expiro sleeps. He dreamshe starts!?he cries for a fuse!?another fuse!?ho fall3 back?he sleeps again. Expecto enters the sick chamber and with a -pitying look commiserates the helpless condition of Jiim who lies so uncomfortably low. 10.45.?"To be or not to'be. Shall i Expiro live to excite the admiration of ' multitudes with his eloquent disserta| tions on the fuse, or must he then throw I off this "mortal coil" and abandon j green seal forever ? Expecto remains : aear the bedside. Expiro opens languid! It his eyes aad calls for beer. It is land _ ^ ed him, and lie yields once more to somnific rest. 11 p. m.?He sleeps well. Expecto fears too well. Expecto has taken in l>ia nntp linnlr nn<1 faithfnllv records the different symptoms as they chase each other in rapid succession. The record is put down in Greek characters as thut ancient style accords more fitly with the deep solemnity of the occasion. 11.30.?Expiro still*'" breathes and his face is flashed with fever heat Midnight.?Expiro looks pale. Expecto, his watchlul guardian, stands over him with six lighled candles in each hand, and occasionally smooths the furrowed cheek of the poor Tooth-pickian with globules of melted grease. The minds of all are filled with painful suspense. The kind Expecto now proceeds to jerk a little Latin eulogy, of which the following is a translation : "0 angelic creature! Why did yoo thus ue down? Did your peepers deceive you when You quaffed the beer, Or did the beer deceive you when You winked your peepers ? You have been a gallus boy in times put. And I w ill bee that all your money And valuables are appropriated, "After tne most approved manner." ? . ? ? 12.15. ?Expiro springs from the couch. Astonishment siezes all. He grasps the hand of Expecto, and with eyes flaming with tears, exclaims, "Pile on your Latin, but spare me my vuluables." 12 30.?All danger is past. Expiro is rapidly recovering. 2 a. m.?The Tooth-piekians will all be up to time before daylight. 4 a. m.?They have all left the Fort -1 ? ? ? Ui 1 Una /I f1 unci lire un iuc iv xxutiux hvwu. v Tanporcs ! 0 Mores ! ?Iiev. Mr, Spurgeon is expected to visit this country next May. ?Why should a convent be the most holy place in the world ? Because it contains novice, and they will have none (nun)! ?What tonic beverage agrees best with a young lady ? Kissing'er probably. ?The worst wheel of the cart makea the most noise. ? ?The country has ill-fitting doors that 1 l!??i 4^ CUa /mi 4 rcqUUvB ilol/ IU ivrtp buv Uiwi, uui, ?The rebel Confederacy can never be straightened up, but it will soon le . straightened out. ?Mr. Thackeray's house, in London, is to be sold. An advertisement in the papers has caused many hundreds of __ . ; people to visit the house of the great I humorist It is said that a sale will be ; held of fhe books, furniture and curiousi itics, in the course of this month. ?If the color of Jeff. Davis's skin, i says Prentice, were to strike in, his soul would be white. If the color of his soul ; were to strike out, liis skin would be ! black. ?It is said that Aaron Burr died in ; the house of a person named Hamilton, on Stat en Island. The house in which i General Alexander Hamilton breathed his last is still standing at the northwest corner of Eighth Avenue aud Eighteenth, street, i