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A TIIE. SEN1IN'E..L JURNAL Entered April 28, 1908 at Pickens,S-. 0;, as sebond olase matter under act of Cougress of March 8, 1879. VOL. XXXVIII Pll13i, sOU! CAMLINA, THURIDAT FEDRURY 271908 Ain't Th Two of the Con Baby ..... . ' . .. THESE ARE BRIGHT FACI Two Cures For the BlueA. -What do you do whien you have the' blues?" aisked the first womanu. I -I walk up FIfth avenue and look In' aill the Jewelers' windows and at the orchids anid high priced hats. What/flo you do?" ".I go wvay down to Rtivington street and look at the wretched poor women with seventeen children struggling In the dirt That mnakes meo thankful mny affairs are no worse." -Now York Proms. Its Worth. The actress, having been arrested for running her automobile seventy mile an hour, was describing th'o superb ear to Cu reporter. The young main Iuquired: "dow much did you say it wts worth?" "At least t o colunns on the front page." hhe answered absaently.-Kan es City Independent. SShut Her Off. First Deaf Mute (making signs) Did your wife compldion because yo .ayed out till after midnight? Second Deaf Mlte (chuckltg)-Did she? You ishould hve -eenoc her! But when it 1>egan to get monotonous I just turned .out the itght. Two Questions. tWhy don't we see men like the nov alluts describe?" "I give It tup. ly don't we see -girl. lihe the iusarta btor-a? .Kiv SheCuteronl. Teirsthe dtwebaing ioal. 'Frdd? yoredde-ofte cobeas beds iss.d u tl T acherRightigNow, Secoy, Dyee do e obtacing)fenthe? myou 'From heaher bed, heri Btshe.i legu to Reeaonoonu. uttre ouety tior lghvt. eth' "hmy ontve been like e inte liftr tecrfew?" gte h e "I'ge igp hyest ' Appauee *graisle thanelluhestratore that ne <eptousvl Curitste-Jostrnatuathn Fnth ollwe thhhes a.ase 'Emern. r o eoban ol ExediencFed.dltern etacol bsufer mis eherIh dowabu Jimry thi here st do weoti etmake J iving .atro -oetme r anote," m ss. tee che"eked M, whenck' alsot b"ou. 'h idarick whenr saddync. GIan me lry for giestome dahi.'" ny "Hn' ;mtay haebe ut ie minhtesn heq thoe curfe. rang th gt bin SfinallyChibcaus ieco-keegalit on tante ight Aausie.tg rseangnel.le heinetha t ac ey Cue. testants in our Show. .i - . ...... ......................j ED YOUNG AMERICANS, The End Came Another Way. A distinguished actor was one tim, engaged at one of our leading provin clal theaters In a drama In which h, attempts an escape from a convict prif on, first by getting rid of his fetters b, means of a file and lastly by gettin over the prison wall. In the act o doing this he is shot at by a warde: and killed. One particular night the drama ha( run its usual course up to the poini where the actor attempts the escap< over the prison wall. The warder. at usual, presented his rifle, but instead of a loud report nothing but a fainl clicking sound was heard. The rifl was lowered and after a brief delay again pointed, but with the same dis appointing result. The audience now began to hiss and jeer. The disgusted actor then got oil the prison wall and, staggering toward the footlights, exclaimed. "It's all up I've swallowed the file!" and fell pront on the stage amid the laughter and ap plause of the audience. - Pearson'V Weekly. Mountains Had Not Moved. The story is told that when Judge William Rogers was chairman of the school committee in a New England town one examination day he went around questioning puls)1 of the mid die grade. He asked a boy named Rock where the Rocky mountains were. The boy answered correctly, but faifed to be promoted that term. The following year the judge asked the same question, Rlock replied, "The same place they were last year." Wholesome Fear. Miss H., the principal of a granmmar school, was Investigating a case brought her by a pupil. "Are you quite sur-e that was the( wvay it happened, Mrs. P. ?" "Miss H.. that was just the way, I'm telling you the truth. I wouldn r~are tell you a lie. I'm not well enougi today."-Woman's Home Comipan ion. University 'rests. One might say that the first test ni Oxford is athletic ability, the next so eiability and the final scholastic abil ity. When you have pas~d the firsi two, yon are the admiration of youi friends; when you have shown your self a scholar besides, you are the ad miration of your college. - Rhode. Scholar in Sunset Magazine. Disproved. She-They say that a man becomeel like that with which he continually as sociates, Hie-Ridiculous ideal I've been a fishmonger all my life and ca'1 swim a yard yet!-London Opinion, A patch on the trousers is not as bad as a 17tain on the soul. - R~ichmond 3Cvening Journal. Short-There goes one of my pre ferred creditors. Long-Why pre terred? Short-lie never asks me for Pnahay.--Oicnen News. MacheliO"Sal Skin. "This skin,'? daid the furrier, " froin a young setil bachelor, a y Ignorant of love and of life." "IHow do you know-?" the lady ai 'By its fineness. Its perfection, replied. "The pile, you will not like close .cut.: velvet. Only bael seal skins hafe stich a pile. "The bachelor seal," he wqnt "has a rather and life. The big seals in thb seal islands have en household of. fifteen or twenty w but the young bachelors must by themselves. Let one of the tempt to marry and strilghtway a slays him. Not till he Is big end to fight and conquer a bull-not ti Is fourteen or fifteen years old-ca know the delight of settling down home of his own. "Ile leads a hard, ascetic, celibate only in the end as like as not to 1 a lady a very fine coat. All the fine coats, I repeat, are made froi unhappy bachelor seals."-Cincil Enquirer. Jack Tar and the Actor. A famous Irish actor of the e eenth century named John M< early In life, before he went on stage. had been to Jamaiea and n ed his passage home as at sailor b( the mast. One night some time he had been engaged at Drury I when he was acting Stephano in * Tempest" a sailor in the front ro, the pit got up and, standing upon sent. hallooed out, "What cheer,. Moody-what cheer, nessmate?" This unexpected address rather tonishod the :-.dienve. Moody, I ever, stepped forward and, recognI the man, called out: "Tom Ilu keep your jawking tacks aboard. I disturb the crew and passengers. V 6.age door, and we'll flnIsh the evs over a jug of punch. But till 3 Tom. keep your locker shut." Mi it is related, was as good as his 3 -Cornhill Magazine. Exohanging Amcnities. A blatant sample of the loud v< self conscious. look-at-me varlot r man took his scat in a bus and c to the conductor: "Does this bus go all the way?" "Yes, sir." responded the condi politely. "Does it go as far as Oxford :ti I want to get out there." "Yes, sir," was the reply. "Well, I wan} you to tell me i we get there. You'd better stic stamp on your nose or put a stra your mouth or tie a knot In on your lips. so that you won't forgol "It would not be convenient for in my position to do so," said the ductor courteously. "but If you kindly pin your ears round your I think I shall remember to tell yol London Scraps. The Sins of Hatters. If any tradesman has a lot to ani for it is surely the hatter. le most unblushingly tell you that a tailn type of hat is suited to your ticular style of beauty. knowing the Information is false, and all while you have a dull suspicion you don't look well In it. Yet you obliged to believe him. Hlis persuf powers are so cultivated that I ff belIeve ho would make a dwarf t Ihimself "a fine figure of a mal Fry's Magazine. May Do it Now. "In the olden timres it is said th was possible for a man to render self invisible." "Pshawl That's not at all remil ble. Men in this country are doli every day." "You don't say sol Hlow do manage It'?" "By marrying famous women'" How it Was Becoming. "That dress IA becoming, my de said the man who thinks he is a d mat. She looked at hIm coldly for a ment and then replied: "Yes. It is b~ecomning threadbare Brutally Frank Scribbles-When I take a dislike man I- use him as the villainous< acter in one of my novels. Critk Ah, I see! You punish the poor fe by burying him alive, as it were. Why They Fly. Bobby-Mamma, do the streeti heaven flowv with milk and ho It Mamma-So the Bible says, dlear. by-And Is tli.at why the angels wings, 'cause the walkin's so badi Obedience is better than sacurid Shakespeare. On* of Three Things. Mame Fred Jones, a man of no small di outh inensions, was a popular conductor on the Boston and Maine railroad, making iked. daily trips between Boston and Plym he outh. One lay several years ago while 0, ts collecting fCres~ he encountered a man ielor under tie:tnhunce of liquor who would not show a ticket. After reason on, ing 'in vain with this passenger Mr. bull Jones said. "Now, see bore, you'll h a have to do one of three things-give ives, me a ticket, pay your fare or get offt herd a'nd walk." at- "You've (hie) got to do one of three bull thin'gs." was the reply-"eat less (hie), e >ugh hoop yerself (hic) or bust." || he n he His Nerve. in a Speaking of a Wall street operator, a a broker said: "The man's nerve is amaz- h life, Ing. It shocks me. It reminds me of a lake money lender to whom a friend of rery mine, a great rider to hounds, once re the sorted. natIl "'Yes,' said the money lender to my t embarrassed friend. '1 will renew your note, but only on one condition, sir namely, that during the next paper Ight- chase at Lenox you scatter from your )ody bag these 5.000 pink slips bearing ily the name and the words, "Money advanced ork- on easy terms." Is it a go, sir?'" C fore ' f ter The Alternative. an1e A Frenchman applied to a local ot1- 1 'Tho cial for a passport to visit Klatter- P v of wingschen, in Switzerland. The func- e the tionary. who was not a fellow of any 8 Jack geographical society, studied in vain a with the spelling of the plac6's name. as- Then. unwilling to confess his diflicul- 0 low- ty. he blandly asked, "Would you a t' zing lief visit some other town?', ilett. I )on't Hopeful Gleam. T nlhen Mrs. Becky-Dear, oh. dear, my ctd ad gett...; worse and worse! I'm getting ning so I can't talk. I wonder what I'd then, better do? Mr. Becky (absently)-For >ody, goodness' sake, don't do anything! vord. Cleveland L.'e-r. Some men dress quietly and other. lose-their collar buttons.-Dallas News. 11ced, of , Roithdity of Earth. alled We are assured by competent anu thority that Thales of 1liletns taught that the earth was of a globular form t ictor so early ts 40 11. C. Pythagoras dem- C | onstrated from the -arying altitudes r -eet? of the stars that the earth must be I round. Aristarchus of Samos main tMined that the earth turned on its rhen own axis and revolved about the sun. k a whieh doctrine wais held by his con- 11 in temporaries as so absurd and revolting h1 of that tle philiosopher nearly lost his life, e it." 1. C. 280. The wisdom of the an- h clents wias, of course, lost sight of in h c the darkness of the "niddle ages," and con- it took GaIlilei and Copernicus to re wil store the old knowledge to the world. ec New York American. Murder in Germany. Germany distinguishes between two kinds of murder-one, premeditated ier and intentional, is punishable by death; will the second. Intentional homicide with cer- out deliberation. Is punishable by penal t par- servitude for from five to fifteen years. t that Dueling In Germany is a misdemeano the of a special kind. Who kills his oppo that nent in a du1el is not charged with are murder or ninslaughter, but with silvo dueling, the punishment for which is !mIy detention In a fortress for fifteen years. hink -London Chronicle. 1 Ruffled His Feathers. piece)-Now, my boy-, that is a pIcture, at it if you liko-real andi~ natural. What do blm- you thin1k of it? Friend-Capital! CII- ap ital! So lfelke! Such light and rka- shade! I don't think I ever saw a het ig it ter picture uf a battlefield. Artist Great Paul Rllens! Thait's niot a1 bat- y they tielleid-thiat' ii basket of fruit!-L~on don Standard. - i Reduction. bi The old nag was jogging up the 11111 J a"with tihe elopers-. 1910- "Yes," said tile old nag, "it is rather tl tough pulling them up to the parson- n 0-age, but it will be easier coming back." o "Ihow so?" queried the friendly goose o at tihe roadside.0 "Why, can't you see that after heav ing the parsonage two will be0 made to a one?"-Chicago News. d har- I us-- The Editor Regrets- c how Offlee Boy-The editor says lhe's much a obliged to you for allowing him to see 1 your dlrawings, but muchl regrets lhe is 14 funable to use0 them. Fair Artist (eager- t i o y)-Dild lhe say that? Office Boy t< ney? (truthfully)-Weil. not exactly. He just u Dob- said: "Take 'em away. P'imple. They b' tiave make me sick."--London Tatler. "Once I wrote my name on an egg." "Did you get a letter, Muaude?" "Yes; y ce.- two years iter fr'om an actor."--Louis- It v'ille Couriier-Jour'nal.j 1~moku ~ RESTAURANT TIPS. 'he Much Vexed Question From the Walter's Point of View. "I know by the way you nod your end you think it's pretty hard on the ublic. Suppose every waiter here got regular salary, with no chance for tras. Do you supposp he'd be jump ig hurdles for a lot offuss people, 11 kicking about better thing 'pats iey get at home? Do you think A resent the glad smile to those he't ke to choke, break his neck making verybody comfortable and then llstem ) their hard luck stories or more pain il jokes? No, sir; he'd serve the stuir ist as he got it from the kitchen. le 'ouldn't go back and fight for tidbits, tid extra hot food. Ile'd be in not urry to serve any one and pile up 'ork for himself. The customer would aft because the waiter wouldn't, and robably he'd never come back, and at's where the owner would lose." "It must take great ingenuity to make the system pay," I mused. "It does," saidJoseph. "The stupid ,aiter starves. Do you know that in rder to hold good waiters the cheap ash slinging joints have to pay high r wages than the swell restaurants? 'here's not the opportunity for tips i the cheap places, and the waiter inst follow opportunity like a bird of rey. Ile simply has to be clever nough to get tips, and he has no social tandiug to make him bashful. There re two methods-oie is to get then pontaneously, the other to force them uit. Most people tip only because tmy're ashamed not to. I make out etter with the first method, especially i a place like this, where most of our atrons are regulars. It isn't the reg ilar who does the comaplaining. He .nows and saves the exertion. "With strangers it's a gamble. It nay be a little party, and the things hey order gladden your heart with an lcipatlon. You try to be a gentleman xith the service, and then at the finish rou get nothIng-pr nymavbe a Vou can't complain; you'd be discharg ?d. But there are ways. You can't )lame a waiter who is bunkoed if ho idministers a rebuke in a dignified vay. such as, 'Ah, sir, you've forgot en a (lime of your change,' or lie dam all his helper and without a word o!nt to the coin for hin to remove." obert Sloss in Harper's Weekly. Persevere. I have often heard 1eople in mature ro isy. "i I had only kept on as i ad biegun. if I had only persisted lin arrylig out my ambition, I might ave amounted to something and been itinitely happler." Miulittudes of people have led mis rable lives of regret, wIth thw arted mittions constantly torturing them, Imply because In a moment of weak ess and dIscouragement they turned uick. If there is any time a persom eedis nerve, grit and stamimna it 13 -len tempted to turn back. when tho ,)Waird voice within says: "Don't you oe hov roolish it is for you to try ) (10 this thing? You have not the loans or the strength. Ilow foollshl ' -crlilee Years of comfort and pleas ., at home among the people who >ve you for the sake of doing what am have undertaken! It is better turn back--and acknowledge your mistake thamn to go on and sacrifice so mech." Whatev'er you do or how' envy the burden, do not lay it dowmn such a time. No muautter how dark te way eor how heavy the heart, Wvalt uitli the "blue" depression or the die uragement has passed before taking nmy dc~led step.-Success Magazine. Customs of the Street. In crowded city streets, especially in ondon and Paris, wvhen a driver Is aled by another driver ahead of hina e throws up his hand or his whip per endicularly as a warning to the maz aick of him. Thus warned, the next river checks his team and then holds Is hand or his whip as a warning to e man back of him. Thtus there might b)e seen going up one after an ther in a line stretching back hands r whips to the number of half a dozenb r more as the drivers were successive rhalted or slowed down by the block. do in front. So of drivers of horse rawn vehicles whose drivers common r sit high where their hands or whipus aun be seen above their heads. This ignaling is done somewhat differently y the drivers of automobiles, wvho sit >w. So in such circumstances what be~ automobile driver does to signal 3 the man hack of him that he is hek? p Is to stretch his armi out outside of Is vehicle horizontally to the right. Vasingt~ton Post. "So yom. thmink: you could buy me and; oli moy' "Well, I don't know aboti bie hittLr mpart of the proposition."u .outai11i r-anea,.J,...... '