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ON THE GAMECOCK ♦ Wednesday, November 5, 2003 9 'TTITTTTl/^vTIVTmOi - online poll J 1 a /a / I II a I ^ f I 1 « - Do you think the Gamecocks will ri 1 / 1 / I—^ ■ | I \ I be bowl-eligible this season? > j 1/ %/ I 1 III I l l www.dailygamecock.com. A W W I \ ¥ I 1 a a ^ J Results published on Fridays. . —a—t ¥ a v—s —m— a l —a— r •'—' IN OUR OPINION Keep rhetoric simple, Dean Virginia Gov. and presidential candidate Howard Dean is getting a lot of flak these days for a - controversial comment that gave some easily impressionable parties the idea that Dean is a racist and whose tone might have insulted those who do have “Confederate flags in their pick up trucks.” We live in a world of nanosecond sound bytes. Sure, it is unfair CNN hesitated all of a heartbeat before pulling out the old footage of pro-Rebel Flag rallies in South Carolina. And it’s to be expected the other eight democratic candidates will most likely make this an issue, using it as an opportunity to safely speak their minds on the flag, with Dean receiving the brunt of the criticism. Welcome to politics, Gov. Dean. Like it or not, a candidate won’t get anywhere without playing by at least some of the basic rules of the game. Part of being a successful president is knowing when to hold one’s tongue. Akin to George Carlin’s “Seven Words you can’t say on television,” there are buzzwords that only an idiot would say on national news, even if the true meaning were clever. Ex-Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott found out the hard way, and former Vice President A1 Gore is still struggling to explain his misunderstood claim on the creation of the Internet. Dean needs to keep his rhetoric simple and should clarify what he meant by his statement and learn from his political blunder. Part of being a successful president is knowing when to hold one’s tongue. Winners and Sinners DADDY LETTERMAN 57-year old late-night kingpin is officially a father. ALSHARPTON Says John Kerry’s wife is who he most likes to party with on the campaign trail. Can we get an amen, preacher man? “THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS" First trilogy to finally come to an end this holiday season. NAPSTER Thanks for helping me tap into my youthful rebellious side, you corporate punk sellout. HOWARD DEAN Makes controversial p Confederate Flag reference. Repeat after us: “Ignore it, and it will go away.” REAGAN MINISERIES CBS pulls raunchy “The Reagans" over conservative furor. Showtime awaits. GAMECOCK CORRECTIONS If you see an error in today’s paper, we want to know. E-mail us at gamecockopinions@hotmail.com. ABOUT THE GAMECOCK Editor in Chief Charles Tomlinson t Managing Editor Adam Beam News Editor Michael LaForgja Asst. News Editor Alexis Stratton Viewpoints Editor Gabrielle Sinclair The Mix Editor Meg Moore Sports Editor Brad Senkiw Asst. Sports Editor Wes Wolfe Photo Editor Morgan Ford Head Page Designer Shawn Rourk P Page Designers Justin Bajan, Samantha Hall, Staci Jordan, Philip Whitehead Slot Copy Editors Amy Genoble, Mary Pinckney Waters, Tricia Ridgw ay Copy Editors Jessica Foster, Steven Van Haren Online Editor James Tolbert | Public Affairs h Kimberly Dressier CONTACT INFORMATION Offices on third floor of the Russell House. . Editor in Chief: gamecockeditor@hotmail.com News: gamecockudesk@hotmail.com Viewpoints: gamecockopinions@hotmail.com The Mix: gamecockmixeditor@hotmail.com Sports: gamecocksports@hotmail.com Public Affairs: gckpublicaffairs@hotmail.com Online: www.dailygamecock.com Newsroom: 777-7726 Editor's Office: 777-3914 STUDENT MEDIA Director Scott Lindenberg Faculty Adviser Erik Collins Creative Director Susan King Business Manager Carolyn Griffin Advertising Manager Sarah Scarborough Classified Manager Sherry F. Holmes Production Manager Amber Justice Creative Services Whitney Bridges. Robbie Burkett, Sean O'Meara Advertising Staff John Blackshire. Adam Bourgoin, Ben Sinclair, Jesica Johnson, Ryan Gorman, Laytoya Hines The Gamecock is the editorially independent student newspaper of the University of South Carolina. It is published Monday, Wednesday and Friday during the fall and spring semesters and nine times during the summer, with the exception of university holidays and exam periods. Opinions expressed in The Gamecock are those of the editors or author and not those of the University of South Carolina. The Board of Student Publications and Communications is the publisher of The Gamecock. The Department of Student Media is the newspaper's parent organization. The Gamecock is supported in part by student-activity fees. One free copy per reader. Additional copies may be purchased for $1 each from the Department of Student Media. TO PLACE AN AD i ne uamecocK 1400 Greene St. f Columbia, S.C. 29206* Advertising: 777-3888 Classified: 777-1184 Fax: 777-6482 WHAT iT feels uKe CARTOON COURTESY OF KRT CAMPUS I want my instant messenger JULIE COOK GAMECOCKOPINIONS@HOTMAIL.COM Meet the cause and solution to all social ills. If checking away messages were an Olympic sport, I’d be contending for the gold medal. I know where everyone is at all moments of the day. S>ome I haven’t seen face to face in four years, yet I know they’re stress ing over their biochem test or ex cited about a trip to Cancun for Spring Break. Have you seen so-and-so? No, you couldn’t even place him if you ever saw him, but you know he’s at the library until 8 p.m. and then headed to the gym. Deliberate misinformation can lead you awry. While a cer tain friend of mine might claim to be “studying,” she is most like ly watching a “Trading Spaces” marathon instead. I, myself, have been known to put up an away message simply to avoid talking to certain people (especially on those odd week ends when my Clemson friends are celebrating their football vic tory and we have lost). The buddy list is the chief form of both social and antisocial behavior. I have 141 buddies on my list, and most days I’d rather they all go away so I can check their messages. And then there’s the emoti con, the classic component of in stant messenger. All it lacks is the “sarcastic face” emoticon, complete with rolled eyes, al lowing me to compliment the wisdom of my favorite Republican friend’s ceaseless droning on the Axis of Evil with out being mistaken as actually supporting his idiocy. Somehow, the sarcastic smi ley has never been introduced, yet the most incorrectly used emoticon, the smiley with the foot in its mouth, continues to makes its presence known. Yes, I know you think it looks drunk, but it means you said something stupid, people — though, you probably did say something stupid if you’re plastered enough to think a shoe in your mouth accurately describes your condition at the time. The only smileys I can deal with are the 10-point smile and frown. Everything else is too over the top for whatever I’m feel ing. And let’s just be honest with ourselves and admit that the smi ley with all of his teeth showing is only used to mean you’re get ting laid. Whenever schoolwork is mounting up on my desk and col lege seems to be getting in the way of my education, I can turn to my buddies’ profiles and learn more about myself and my friends than any psychology class could ever teach me. Instant messenger has re vealed to me that I am 95 percent Southern, 140 proof, 52 percent pure, am valued at $2,094,622, h pina colada, the Funshine Care Bear, the Led Zeppelin song “Whole Lotta Love,” ranked 102,555th most popular on BuddyZoo and 86 percent addict ed to IM. If only there were a quizzie people could put on their profile about possible professions. Let’s take a moment to cele brate the technological ad vancement of our college ca reers. Instant Messenger fuels personal expression, quickly disseminates information and, of course, provides insight into the lives of your friends and a select few of those random peo ple who you rarely speak to but stalk anyway. Cook is a third-year political science and art history student. IN YOUR OPINION Holt needs to verify sources of quotes In Monday’s editorial, Ryan Holt attributes an extended pas sage on religion in America to Alexis de Tocqueville, includ ing the line, “Not until I went into the churches of America and heard her pulpits flame with righteousness did I un derstand the secret of her ge nius and power.” However, Mr. Holt has helped perpetuate a long-run ning error: There is no evi dence from Tocqueville’s writ ings that he is the author of this passage. I suggest that next time Mr. Holt should double check his sources. AUSTIN MATZKO OltAIH'ATK N'U DKNT IN PHILOSOPHY Guns make the world go ’round Today was a momentous day in the life of this Gamecock fan —I attended my first gun show! I must tell all of you who fear that the “liberal left” is trying to take your guns: “Worries are to be cast aside.” There are many different ways you too can circumvent federal law by attending a gun show—or at least its policy im plications. For instance, under the Brady Bill, a mandatory waiting period and a back ground check were established as law in order to buy a gun from a dealer. Thanks to the muscle power of the National Rifle Association, the law failed to specify any policy targets with regard to private transactions. This me® ns that any Joe with any gun can sell it to you, and you can carry it home the same day. Not only is this possible, but I also found a kit that can turn an everyday assault rifle into a 600-rounds-per-minute fun bag. On top of that, if you need to say “back away,” there is perhaps nothing like a laser-sighted 357 magnum. Nothing screams hol iday cheer like a bag full of guns, so let’s all cast aside our fears of murder, militias and domestic terrorists and rein vest in the American gun show as a family pastime. I must say that I did, how ever, learn many valuable things while attending this cultural phenomenon: 1) I am now well versed in how to pack my own buckshot; 2) no matter what anyone tells you, you cannot have too many guns; and 3) 9-year-old boys not only know how to check the action of but also how to load and fire a 9-millimeter handgun. xiixa nas xcu me, emu 1 iiupc all of you, to the obvious con clusion that we need to march to Washington and demand that the government relax its gun laws. I suggest we don’t stop until every single person in the country has one in his or her hand. ADAM JENKINS KOITITH-YKAK POLITICAL SCIKNCL ST IT IK N'T USC library takes safety to extremes I can’t imagine that I’m the only person who finds the bag check — or shakedown — pro cedure when exiting the library insulting. What’s wrong with the de tection equipment? Is iti broken? Why hasn’t it been fixed? I mentioned this to someone in the university’s administra tion — someone “high-ranking” but not affiliated with the library —who said half-jokingly that the equipment probably works but that not using it provides student jobs. Maybe he’s right. Perhaps the library administration wants to provide jobs for students. But if you think about it, that makes absolutely no sense at all. None. I’m a graduate student who has checked out lots of books — I don’t want a library carrel—and has stood in the checkout line more times than I care to recall while the student-worker checked every single book for my “Dec. 15,2003” stamp. The other night was a doozy: I’d checked out several books from the School of Music Library — where I don’t have to be ac costed by bag checkers because there’s working detection equip ment — and headed over to the main library to check out more. As the bag checker lifted from my handy plastic bag (not my book bag) every single book, a long line began to form behind me. When the bag checker was done, he asked me to hold my plastic bag open while he re turned the books. I was very frus trated with him. That’s why I’m writing this letter. My frustration should be directed elsewhere. KEVIN SIMMONDS l.'HAIII'ATK STI'DKXT IX MUSIC Submission Policy Letters to the editor should be less than 300 words and include name, phone number, professional title or year and major, if a student. E-mail letters to gamecockopinions@hotmail.com. Letters will be edited. Anonymous.letters will not be published. Call the newsroom at 777-7726 for more information.1 Homeless would be perfect mascots GABRIELLE SINCLAIR GAMECOCKOPINIONS@HOTMAIL.COM The film ‘Radio’ might just be on to something. I did not like “Radio.” In fact, I hated it. I mean, you might like this sweet tale of town using a mentally challenged man as its team mascot, but you might also like gouging your eyes, ripping off your skin, rolling around in salt and listening to Creed, so you’re pretty weird. I personally made it about halfway to my car while wiping stinging tears from my eyes when I stopped, alone in the parking lot, shook my clenched fist at the abstract evil that is a Hollywood film and screamed. “DAMN YOU, ‘RADIO!’” lean, x awl canicu 11. oiujjxvx, evil movie. Toying with my emo tions. And yet! And yet I believe we can all learn a valuable and, dare I say it, advantageous life lesson from this travesty. The homeless must be used as high school team mascots. In this extended time of aca demic budgetary woes, we are left with few options. We must tap into all available resources. The great state of South Carolina must learn to make sacrifices, adjust and cut those pesky comers into neat, easily digestible bits. In a few months, when the bud get has been completely dimin ished, the state legislature will surely not spare the mentally ill, challenged or handicapped and will eventually shred what little funding remains in offering any semblance of care for these people. They will be given a syringe of lithium, a day’s worth of horse tranquilizers and official state government key chains and sent on their way. So here we are, in the future, in a state once referred to by some dead Yankee as “too small for a nation and too big for a lu natic asylum.” We are destined to, with some initial moral re luctance, turn to the surplus of insane, mentally challenged and all-around homeless. News flash: The guilt won’t last. These people will indeed serve a purpose. Enter “Radio,” whose ultimate moral is: the low er your IQ, the more school spir it you can withstand without combusting. Homeless people make fantas tic team mascots. I think we can all agree on this. Friendly, en dearing and cost effective. It’s al most too perfect. I’m not even positive it’s necessary to put them in a furry, possibly feath ery costume. Traditionally speaking, the homeless are hungry, maybe even ravenous, and that trans lates into drive. Drive, with a weakening will to live pair with a slight touch of cannibalism and maybe a drinking problem. The other teams won’t know what’s coming, I’m telling you. These are the makings of a great mas cot. We can even fight them against each other for pep rallies. Yes, cockfighting is still out lawed, but I’ve done some exten sive research on the Internet, and there’s nothing against homeless people going at it for spare change and a big group hug. “Radio” ha§ shown me an out cast human being, misunder stood and ultimately stripped of his personal dignity and his will to live, will at his most basic lev el thirst to be manipulated and taken advantage of in the name of school spirit. I just wish we could all be a lit tle more like that, don’t you? Group hug, people. Come on. Don’t make me go over there. Sinclair is a third-year prini journalism student.